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Blossom Your Awesome Episode #53 - That Magic Space With Bunny Young

by Sue Dhillon
June 8th 2022
00:52:49
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Blossom Your Awesome Podcast Episode #53 That Magic Space With Bunny Young

Bunny Young is a stuntwoman turned businesswoman.

After being diagnosed with a heart condition at an ea... More

blossom, your awesome podcast, episode number 53 today on the show, Bunny Young is here with us, Bunny is a stuntwoman turned businesswoman, she empowers and educates businesses and organizations about the impact of work life alignment, she shares about the power of taking risks and bunny believes in that magic space at the intersection of life work and purpose. I am so honored and delighted to have bunny here with us, sharing her wisdom and insights. I cannot wait to get into this with her bunny, thank you so much for being here. Welcome to the show, thank you so much for having me. I am ecstatic to be here. Oh my God, I am so ecstatic to have you here and get into your story.

So let's take it back and start from the beginning, how you know, you're a former stuntwoman, I got to get the details on that and now you help female entrepreneurs, so you're a serial entrepreneur yourself, you're a speaker, you do all kinds of things, so I wanna, let's get into this Yeah, when you, so go back to the beginning, oh my gosh, we could go so far back and it's funny that you said I'm a former stuntwoman, because I literally had this conversation, my daughter is 10 and she asked me last night, she was like, mom, do you still do stunts and I get asked this from time to time and I don't do it professionally, but it's one of those crafts that you do, it's kind of like when you're a weightlifter, like you, you still do it in the amateur realm and so as a family it's been really fun to keep the craft up and keep you know kind of going through stuff and it's something that my husband and I obviously we met at a movie studio and we had in common um or have in common, he was a stuntman, he's still the stuntman and um I just do it for for play now, but it's it is really fun to do and um yeah it's a big big part of my story and it, if you ask my daughter what I do for a living, I save the world and if you go back through every aspect of my resume, it all kind of came down to that as like a really core, those are my roots and whatever I choose to grow from those roots ends up being in service of that that deep root and when I explain to clients as long as I take care of the soil and make sure it's watered and make sure there's not too much sun I.

E burnout then um what we've grown has really been beautiful at every stage of my life and it's just 11 big career called life. So I don't even know where you want me to start though. Well I mean just kind of, you know it is and I know there's so much more to you with the work you're doing now and helping entrepreneurs and stuff and so we're gonna get into all of that, but you know, how did you get into that line of work? Was it something you kind of as a little girl were like, you know on a trampoline? I know this sounds also jumping around and you're like, oh my God, this is cool, and this is what I want to do for a living or I mean how did that unfold? I think that's the love of my life story, that's not my story. So he um I just may be making this up, which is totally fine, but I remember him having this story that like in middle school, his hacky stat, his hacky sack got caught on the gymnasium roof and so it didn't occur to him, like the first thought that he had was climb up on the roof and get the hacky sack and I think he got suspended or something for that, and that's just how his brain works, is like he just is a calculated risk taker.

And so we met at a movie studio and um we started dating and it's, I could tell you so much about him that just doesn't actually make sense in the grand scheme of things, but the long story short is we were getting supposed to be getting married um like we had talked about it and then he got a contract to go to china and do stunts, like a live action stunt show and he said can I you know bring bunny and they said you can only bring her if you guys are married and that kind of takes like process that for a second that we're going to work in a communist country and in order for us to go work in this environment, the only way for us to be together is like it's got to be appropriate for us to be married. And so I've lived in Ecuador prior to moving over to china but going in, not just moving to china but living in china and working in china and working for a chinese um company, there was a huge culture shock because in stunts here in the States there's a lot of things that we don't do, like we just don't do it because it's not safe and in china the safety regulations were so different and so basically my husband had turned to me and was like do you want to get married and go to china?

And so the short answer is I became a stunt woman for a free trip to china and I got married for that reason as well. Um and and we got over there and it's like I can't not, I don't want to say I can't not work however I cannot fulfill my purpose and so waking up and being in this new country I naturally without even really pursuing it just kind of found ways to be useful and I learned stunts, I learned, I already knew how to so and so I ended up preparing the costumes on the set, I ended up teaching english to the Children in our village, I worked six days a week as a stunt woman and then on my seventh day I found something else to do. It was just, I very much wanted to not just go to work and then be a tourist, I wanted to take in that culture and it was just such an amazing learning environment and we lived on the Yellow Sea, we literally lived a stone's throw away from north Korea and to see this like tiny fishing village that essentially they put an amusement park in and go running every morning and just seeing these incredible people that are in their nineties out there doing these exercises and so I just started kind of immersing myself in it and I'm a six ft three blonde and you know, most people in that village, The average height was like 5, 2, so it's a bit of a sore thumb and they still just were really patient with me and really it was just an amazing kind of culture thing and I remember after a stunt show I told my mom this because I wore this like polyester, I had a couple of different outfits that I wore during the stunt show but I had this orange, bright orange polyester will have to put it up on instagram to show you guys.

But this bright orange polyester like looks like it came out of the seventies pantsuit. So it's the jacket in the suit And it was 80 something degrees and we just ran around did this show and I'm standing there for what's called meet and greet where people come up and take pictures with you. And this older woman comes up and takes a like a tissue and she starts like dabbing my face all the way down like dabbing into my shirt like into my jacket, like on my chest. And I was just like, wow, there are really no boundaries and it was done with care. It was just another lesson in like the western way or the american way is like not the only way. And I just remember kind of standing there in shock being like why would you stick your hand down my shirt and then she's just trying to take care of me. Um but that's really it started this, I guess it was a continuation because living in Ecuador is probably where part of my education on culture and differences and inclusion and the importance in biodiversity in order for us to thrive as a world started.

And you know, um I really loved being able to, I laugh because people are like, what does a stunt woman have to do with being an invest. I do everything from investing, to business coaching, life coaching speaking. Um as as you said, and it helped me learn the importance of a team, you can't put on a stunt show and you can't perform a stunt without a team, you've got to make sure that there's somebody there with a fire extinguisher to put you out. If you're setting yourself on fire, you got to make sure that somebody has checked your bags, if you're doing a high fall and that you've checked your bags. And so there's radical responsibility. There's having a team that you can trust. There's risk analysis, there's, you know, knowing your audience and playing to your audience and there's so many things in business, I could go on and on that being a stuntwoman taught me and perfecting your craft. The fact that once you learn how to do a fire burn in a high fall, you're not done. You've got to do every single day, you've got to wake up and be even better than you were yesterday because the day that you start slipping people's lives are at risk and it starts with yours.

But when you're on a stunt team, when you do a stunt wrong, it can impact other people's lives when you kick somebody wrong or put a punch wrong or do a fire slide and you miss your target, you know, there's other people's lives at risk. And so being a part of this team from all over the world, I mean we had Italians, we had Russians Ukrainians Australians, um french Canadians. It was just incredible. And we all came together. We all had a really if you want taken in the business world, we all had a really clear business plan and it evolved when we gave it permission to evolve. And we had fun while we did it. And we also made sure that it was safe. And so my team jokes with me because I had a 40-foot face first rappel in heels is one of the stunts that I did during the show and I loved it. It's my husband's least favorite stunt. Its my favorite stunt. I'll do it all day long, you give me 140 ft rappel and I'll do it. And it's terrifying. And the first time that I took that rope in my hands and I leaned over the edge in heels and started to take my first step.

My foot went through the plaster of the pillar, like my heel went through the plaster of the pillar and my heel got stuck up on the pillar and I made it down and I thought, okay, well there's one way to go up and get your shoe, go do it again. So I did it again. And over time it became I'm gonna say this, it didn't become less dangerous. It became less scary. And so I think a lot of people don't make decisions in their life because they're in the land of familiar and I want to make sure that you're not confusing, familiarity with comfortable Itty mm hmm. And so it was familiar to stick both of my feet on the ground and not stand on the edge of a building and not lean over the edge of the building and not use a rope to run face first, you know down a building. And yet over time what was not familiar and not comfortable started to become more and more comfortable and it started to become familiar and it started to become something that I was terrified of doing.

And yet I really, really enjoyed doing it and I don't have any regrets. And so when you're making a decision in coaching, sometimes what I'll hear from people is I can't afford this. And in reality, so little people actually have budgets. They make the little tiny decisions like going to Starbucks or Spotify subscription and they're voting for their future with every one of those things. And so when you say I can't afford this, it's one of the ways that we use to stand in the land of familiar and not venture into the changes that we desire. And most times as we've seen with this pandemic, it has to get so uncomfortable for us to move out of the land of familiar before we make a decision. Most stories most interviews that you do probably start with something similar to you know me where I get diagnosed with a heart condition and so it takes this big catastrophic thing in order for me to make a change in my life and that's not what always has to happen.

You can make the decision right now, two vote differently with your time with your resources, with your energy and working with a coach. And so when you say I can't afford it, is that decision coming from a place of fear? Or is that coming from a place of empowerment? And when it's coming from a place of empowerment, the difference most of the time sounds like this. I'm not choosing this for myself for right now for this chapter of my life. Mm, wow, I love that. Okay, so bunny, a million questions in response to everything you just shared? Um So first of all now, you know, tell me this. So you're kind of what I'm getting here? I mean, you're just you have a level of fearlessness, right? And did that come? How did this health condition that came up? Because I know so many people when we have these kind of health ailments, there's a whole kind of like awakening that happens, right?

So there's maybe, hey, I gotta I gotta live it to the fullest, I gotta go out and just be fearless and do all this stuff. Was that what kind of came up for you? How did things change? What kind of transformation happened for you, You know, through that, I can tell you that I remember walking out of the doctor's office and it's funny because my editor asked me about this when I wrote the book on my Last service Animal and my editor and I were having this conversation and honestly it's the first time that I really ever thought about it because I remember walking out of the doctor's office and I remember hearing like I can't do this and I can't do that and I can't do you know all of these different things. I'm not gonna be able to have kids, I'm not gonna be able to um you know, won't live past whatever age. And I kind of just remember feeling this sense of peace of being like, okay, I don't have to waste my life on this whole shenanigan of work yourself to death and then enjoy your life in retirement, I get to do that right now.

And so it wasn't to my recollection, it wasn't a sense of fearlessness, it was a sense of peace to be like, I'm going to go to bed each and every night with a sense of peace and with that permission I made a lot of different, I have and I continue to make a lot of different choices about who I have in my life and how I spend my energy. It's like if you were given 12 spoons how would you invest those spoons? And like the logic? It's kind of funny because I don't know if if you've ever heard that story, but there are people that literally sit in the room for their entire lives trying to make a plan about how to spend these 12 spoons. And I stepped out the door with my 12 spoons and was like, let me find things that are worth spending my spoons on. And If I come upon this really amazing thing and it's going to cost me 12 spoons. I'll probably leave my 12 spoons right there.

And I laugh because I was given those 12 spoons and then I've been given more, I have two kids. And I feel like every day that I wake up in alignment with my purpose and fulfill my purpose, God universe, higher power has no reason to not give me more spoons because I'm still serving on this planet, I'm still doing what I was designed to be serving and I'm still fulfilling my purpose. If I stopped fulfilling that purpose out of fear, out of, you know, burnout out of whatever it is because and I want to go back to burn out in a second. But whatever the reason is, if I stopped fulfilling the purpose, no matter if I've been in a hospital bed, no matter if I have been another country, no matter if I've gotten a brain injury that I got when I was in a car accident, I've just figured out how I can do it.

And so the obvious thing to me walking out of that doctor's office and now having a service animal is that it's not that I can't do it, it's that I do it differently. And I literally was in neuro rehab this morning and they had this word affiliation thing and the woman, I finished the word affiliation thing and the woman was like, Can you answer it the way that 80% of the population would answer it? And not 20% of the population, like what, like the way that they would actually answer it. And I was like, what do you mean by that? And she's like, your brain puts things together differently. And I was like, okay, so I'll give you an example. One of the three words and so you can play with me with this. One of the three associations was cars, diamonds. And um, I think like the 3rd 1 was like jewelry.

Mhm. What are those three? What are those three words have in common luxury or I Yeah, like that's that's, that was the answer was expensive. You know what I wrote assets like that's literally how my brain works. And so it's occurred to me that like my brain just operates a little bit differently. And so does my life, I have 100 and £65 service dog that I go to Disneyland with. So can I walk around Disney can I go to Disneyland for 10 hours with my Children. Yes, it requires a wheelchair 165 lb. Great dane that's snoring in the background. Mhm. So it looks different then maybe it does for you. However, if I said you're going to go on vacation and I'm going to go on vacation, that's going to look different and that's okay.

And so the life is less about what you can and cannot do the the what of what you do is less important than the how. Mhm. So if I go to Disneyland and I am thinking about my heart condition the entire day, I'm going to go to Disneyland, spend the same amount of time, finish going to Disneyland, go back to my hotel, that's a different level of exhaustion than going to Disneyland and surrendering to the gift of being able to have a family that will support me and pushing me in a wheelchair, having a $30,000 service animal that can notify me when my heart rate's too high or too low and being able to witness the joy on my kids faces when they get off the rides because sometimes I can't go on the rides with them. Mhm. That's the how it's the difference in the how and it's so important in my life and if you reorganize the the letters in how you end up with who.

Mhm. So how you do things ends up with who you are and vice versa, who you are and who you choose to be in that mindset is based on how you approach life. So you know, I I absolutely love my father and he is a grump, he's a grumpy dude. He's just a big grumpy dude. And I look at how he is with some people and I look at how he is with my kids and the differences with some people in his life. He is this version of himself, the grumpy Norwegian mexican, go go figure that combination out with my kids. He's grand pere mm So how he is, depends on who he is. Mhm And at the end of the day in every situation, he's my dad. Mhm And I literally just had a conversation with my mom who will kill me when she hears this.

I had a conversation this morning with my mom because I was on the phone with my dad and my mom called my dad and he said your your mom's calling me and I'm laughing. First off everybody listening to this knows that conversation when it's like suddenly the person goes from being my wife to your mom right? Like the identification. So I could already tell he's like, your mom's calling me okay, answer her. And he's like, are you sure I'm like, yes, you can always call me back if you want. But you know she's she takes priority. She's recovering from a surgery right now. And so I was like answer her call incident 30 seconds later my mom calls me and I was like that was a quick phone call and she was like what are you talking about? And I said you called dad and she's like, yeah, he was just he was being grumpy and so I just told him that you know, I would talk to him later and blah blah blah, whatever she said, and I was laughing at because I literally just hung up with a man and I didn't experience him as grumpy.

And so like is it who he was talking to? Is it the mood she was in? Is it the perception because my dad's a man of very few words. And so if my mom wanted to have a conversation and she felt that it was very one sided. She's like he's grumpy, I'm not going to talk to him. And I laughed because it's like if he wasn't talking enough for you, your solution was to not talk to him at all. And so I talked to my mom called my dad back and I said mom said you're grumpy and he's like yeah it happens like and him and I went on to have this conversation and I said, hey I'm gonna go like I'm gonna go um I have this this session that I'm going into and he's like, oh you're blowing me off and I'm laughing because it's like, my mom couldn't get him to talk to her and now I'm telling my dad I've got to go and he's like you're not going to talk to me anymore. And that's why we do this all the time in life. As soon as the phone rings and we see who it is, we come up with these biases of how this conversation is going to go and we change who we are when we answer the phone.

Right? Yeah, wow. It's so that's such a great um analogy there an example because it really the dynamics really do just play such a heavy and then how we respond to everything in life, right? Whatever shows up and how we respond to that. So now honey, let me ask you, you know, you had mentioned that you said something about this space between familiarity and comfort ability. So what help us understand the difference there? Like what is that? And how do we kind of transcend into being more, you know, leaning more into the empowered. Yeah. Yeah. So familiar. Let's put it in analogy with social media. And so it's familiar to pick up your phone and nonsensically scroll through social media. And yet studies have shown time after time that once we're done scrolling, we don't feel better.

We don't necessarily like we get a dopamine rush from the comments from the likes from the hearts, from the messages and sometimes they're not there. And so when we close our phones and we put our phone down, we're actually more uncomfortable. It's not comfortable to play the game of comparison. It's not comfortable to Wish. And I'm using like a big analogy, but waste for lose obviously lose 45 minutes on social media when you had one project that you were supposed to get done and you've just fell down this rabbit hole, but it's familiar. Mhm. And so if you're used to having a bowl of ice cream after dinner every single night, that's familiar, and if you go to bed and your stomach is hurting or you're trying to lose weight, you're not necessarily comfortable. And so people will be like, oh, I'm getting out of my comfort zone.

Well, that that's like life. I mean, I'll give you the biggest invest analogy I can it's very familiar for a baby to wear diapers and sit on their butt and be carried everywhere. It's not very comfortable to sit in your own stuff. Mhm. For hours on end, it's not very comfortable to not be able to ambulance it, to get to what you want. It's not very comfortable to depend on somebody else for your mobility. So, as babies, we decide for the most part, we're gonna start crawling, we're gonna start crawling and we have this new level of freedom and then we start walking and believe me, it is not comfortable to pull yourself up on that coffee table at the risk of smacking your head on it and start to take these wobbly steps, it's not comfortable. and what's familiar is sitting on your butt in your diaper or crawling in your diaper, but at some point in our lives, it never occurred to us because nobody ever told us in a way that we could understand that we couldn't walk or we couldn't crawl or that there was another option other than sitting on our butts, we decided for ourself and then we decided to get party trained and we did that for ourselves, like no parent, no matter, and if you're listening to this and you're a parent and you're like, funny, the struggle is real, I feel you please know that I have a master's degree, I'm a therapist, I used to do child protective services for years and until a child is ready, there is no forcing party training, so I know there's probably potty training experts that could come on and give you all this advice and have so much more knowledge than me, I have just done it with a bunch of, of my social service kiddos and my own kids until that child decides to let go of the familiarity of a diaper and move into the freedom of being able to use a toilet and decides that it's more comfortable to use a toilet than it is to sit in their own stuff and has that realization and makes that choice or that they're willing to be uncomfortable, learning how to walk and get the bumps and bruises and scrapes and falls and abandoned that familiar, we're gonna be sitting on our butts in a diaper and that happens in entrepreneurship so much Mhm so much, we're like, I go through this with clients who Want to make multiple six figures and no matter what they do, they're stuck at whatever number it is and it's like, that's the familiar setting, you've heard of a weight set point until we change our set point and are willing to be uncomfortable.

We will be stuck in the familiar and don't confuse being familiar with being comfortable because familiar is sitting on the ground on your butt in your own stuff, but it's not comfortable. Mhm, wow, I okay, I loved that analogy, I do my best. Okay, that was really great because I could just see, I mean it's just it's such a perfect analogy for even adults, right, who are want more, but they're scared. So there's that um and how much, I mean now buddy, I think, you know, with like business and stuff, there is risk and it does take a certain kind of person who's willing to, you know, have that sense of kind of, you know, like I had mentioned earlier fearlessness and I have to imagine that, you know, you're kind of former life as a stunt woman and having that, that kind of mindset of, hey, I'm just gonna go for it and there's a reward at the end of this, or you're gonna feel great or it's gonna be fulfilling or whatever that is that has to have help to you in business.

It does, it does everything that I've done, from being an E. M. T. To social services, to being a therapist, to being a stuntwoman that's all healthy in business. Um even decades worth of being a cowgirl riding horses. I mean I do retreats, professional development retreats and personal development retreats, where I take groups out to ranches all over the country and teach them, you know, if it's a team how to be a better heard using horses and also teach them trust and communication and leadership if we're doing, you know, individual business owners and I just, it doesn't have to make sense your experiences happened for you not to you and when you sit down and you realize that about even the worst things in your life, whether it's divorce, whether it's, I lost my best friend to a drunk driver when I was in high school and you know, it's a really strong ability to be able to sit here and say that happened for me. I mean, how the heck did that happen for me?

Well, because now I'm sitting here sharing it with you and the power of being able to name my first daughter after him and being able to forgive the driver and not hold that anger, which was actually poisoning my own well, not the driver as well, was poisoning my own well and to be sober now for as long as I have been because I made that choice because of that happening and just having that awareness and having that awareness of being able to appreciate life. And also now in my adult loving resource self to understand that Right, wrong or indifferent and it doesn't always make sense. A person doesn't have to spend 80 years on this planet to make a profound impact. A person can spend 20 years on this planet and change so many people's lives and continue to make an impact. Ryan continues to make an impact just by you listening to the story right now and that's just such an incredible awareness and my oldest who was named after him talks about him all the time and ask me questions about him and we she keeps him alive and so it doesn't, if you look at my resume it would be confusing to absolutely anybody and remember that resume is words on a piece of paper and that's not who you are and what you did is not even who you are, who you are, did what you did.

There's something deeper, there's very much something deeper too. Like exploring. I love with our team when we're doing interviews and people are like yeah, you know, I typically, I've had people be very honest and be like I typically only spend about two years, I had any job that I've done and I'm like, I'm just curious why do you think that is? I said, well I just haven't found a place that you know has kept me engaged for longer than that. I'm like, thank you for that honesty. And so within our company we've had people change positions rather than leaving the company. We've changed the positions because the lines of communication are open because a job description to me, there's outcomes that our company is responsible for and we have this team and we find solutions to serve those outcomes and achieve those outcomes, but who's doing it And how is something that we very much collaborate on and, and it's almost like being a part of a little village in what we do.

It's not to say that just because you're the baker, all you can do is bake. Sometimes if you need to help me carry the eggs, like you're gonna carry the eggs or you know, ride the horse or whatever it is and just been really beautiful too. Even we've had times when after my car accident I've had to sell a company and been, you know, Multiple six figures in debt because of it. And I'm just like, you know, it's just a really expensive master's degree in business and so being able to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that everything's happening for me and that level of confidence means that when I go to bed at night, I know that I've done not just the best I can, but I've also shown up in the best version that I can. And I tried, I tried this role. I'll give you guys this example and you can take it as homework or or choose not to. We have a swing set in our backyard and my five year old consistently asked me to push her on the swings And I made a challenge with myself that every time she asked me, I was going to go push her, I can go push her for five minutes.

I can go push her for an hour and go push her for 30 seconds. That every time she asked me, I'm going to go put my shoes on, I'm going to go outside and I'm gonna go push her And that experiment with life has been incredible because I asked myself what is she going to remember? Is she going to remember that I couldn't come pressure on the swings because I was in the middle of folding laundry or I was in the middle of, you know, Responding to an email or as in the middle of cooking dinner or can I push the noodles back off the stove for a second, go out. And she's going to remember that I pushed her for those 30 seconds mm and like it happened yesterday where she was like, mom, will you come push me? And I'm like, oh, I'm exhausted. I'm like, no, you made this deal, You made this deal and you know, there's gonna come a day very soon sooner than I wanted to where that swing set is not going to get used, but she's not going to ask me to come push her and I'm never ever going to regret getting my shoes on, going out there and pushing her on the swing because that is who I signed up to be.

I signed a contract to be her mom and that's a very small way. I'm not killing it in the mom game just to let you guys know I'm being transparent, I'm not killing it in the mom game. However, anytime I'm doubting my ability as a mom, I remember that I made that one small commitment that is going to make a huge difference in how I perceive how I'm doing and I know that just being there is going to make a difference for her. And so that's that is my challenge for you is find something something that's not necessarily the most familiar nor the most comfortable And just say yes and see for 30 days where it leads you. I love that. What a great analogy like so how do we, for people who are fearful? How do we lean into kind of pushing ourselves or you know, if there's that kind of something that we want but feels overwhelming or just like impossible, right?

There's this dream or ambition or desire, but how do I start learning to kind of move towards that on a consistent basis and just kind of push, you know, push ourselves every day towards that. Well, if you're okay with it, let's let's bring it closer to home, tell me something that share with me something that you have fear around. Um well, you know, it's not so much fair around bunny, but it's more just sticking to it. So I have a series of half finished books and I have so many different projects and I struggle with just like, okay, I gotta just get this one down, get the next one out, get it out and just get it done and move past it, right? Like this kind of, there's a space between desire and commitment. Okay, so let let me ask you from two different ways, so I'm gonna give the listeners to different ways to approach this. So when you say I've gotta get these done, where do you feel that in your body, and what does it feel like?

Oh my God, probably in my stomach and it feels um heavy, you know, it's okay, and so just give it a second and let it be there and breathe into that, and do you notice how it softens? Just a little bit lightens, just a little bit. Mhm. Hey, and now when you say I choose to finish this project and say that out loud? Mhm. I choose to finish this project, where do you feel that in your body, in my heart? And what does that feel like? It's a warm, fuzzy feeling. And do you feel like you have more energy? I do. I do. Yes. Yeah. So that's the first way. That is very quick. We did that in like 30 seconds that when you start, your brain starts telling you all of these little like pacman things, switching your language and saying, I choose to do this because I've got to do this, puts all of those heaviness is heaviness in your stomach, in in your tummy where you're feeling it and then it's like you're you've got a stomach full of boulders, how are you going to move?

And your body is tense, your muscles are tight. And so if you hold your hands and those of you listening, you can do this too. If you hold your hands as fists, that's the energy I've got to do. And how much can you hold from closed fists versus with that open heart. And I choose to now open your hands and look at your palms and look at your hands and see how much more energy you have. See how much more you can hold for. Mhm. Not just in the book, but just in life and what it feels like to have a knot in your neck versus right after a massage. And so what you're doing is you're basically giving yourself an energetic massage almost before you move into strategy. So the second part of that is going back to that knot in your stomach? I'm gonna ask you a question. What do you fear? Honestly? What do you fear would happen if you finish that book? Maybe it wouldn't be good enough or you know like I could have done better, I should have spent more time on it or you know, okay let me revise it.

Let me do it better. I put it out too quickly or something along those lines. And so you see how that ego is protecting you from feeling that by just not having you do it. Mhm. And so the fear is if I put it out it won't be good enough and if it won't be good enough then what's not going to happen in the world, people won't like it or I won't feel good enough for. Okay. And will it serve the population that you want to? Not if it's not good enough. So you're going to just take that possibility from a what? On a on a 0 to 100%. What do you think the likelihood is that your book is not going to serve anybody? Um Zero. So 0 to 100%. You think it's 0% possible that it is not going to serve a single person? Yeah, I think it would definitely serve at least one or two or a few. And would that be worth it?

Um It would be worth it. And right now, if you don't finish it on 0 to 100%. What's the percentage that it's not going to serve anyone? What's the chance? Yeah. Yeah. You see that. So what's scarier? Mhm. That it helps? Absolutely no one or that it helps. You said one to a few people. And how does that feel in your body? Yeah. Yeah, that is um even if it were just one, you know, that's a really great feeling. Yeah, yeah. And so with this great feeling, remember this is the who, right? And the how so with this great feeling, this is the momentum that you move into writing the book. Mhm. And this is a game, this is a very strategic practical game that I play with myself as I set a timer for 25 minutes. I literally did this last night. Like I'm never gonna share anything with you guys and I'm not actually like using, I set a Timer for 25 minutes to record this journal video.

There's a journal that I use and I use it a little bit different than how it's designed. That is a timer for 25 minutes. I recorded the video in 13 minutes And I was like, Okay, this thing that I didn't want to do, I'm going to choose to do it for 25 minutes. And I was done in 13 And so set a timer for 25 minutes. And for those of you that are asking why 25 minutes? It's called the tomato timer technique. Our brain optimally works 25 minutes on and then a five minute break and then 25 minutes on and then a 5 to 10 minute break. And so I break my task down into 25 minutes and after 25 minutes after I take a drink of water, stand up stretch if I want to keep doing it, I said another 25 minutes and I keep doing it. Sometimes the most difficult part, it's getting started. So find a place on your calendar for that thing that you've been avoiding. Give yourself 25 minutes at the end of 25 minutes, pick what you're gonna do, Whether it's going to be, have a glass of wine, get yourself a coffee jam out to, you know, pinks, I am here.

I don't get royalties from that song. I just love it. Um, and see how you feel and use the activities that we just did. And I have to thank you for being such a beautiful gracious volunteer. Oh, thank you. I that was such a great practical. That was awesome because it really will give people very clear guidance on, you know, walking them through it. So thank you. Yeah, that was awesome bunny. Now let me ask you. So what is the one thing that you find people kind of struggle with to make that leap, right? If they're kind of stuck in some space, they want more out of life. What keeps people stuck and how do they kind of push through that? Not asking for help and accountability. We're not designed to do this alone. And so we tell ourselves stories of I should be able to do this, I'll get to it when, right after I finished this project, right after I get my bonus right after the holidays, right after the kids football season, I can't afford a coach and I know I am a coach and so it sounds like it's a shameless plug.

However, I'm telling you from somebody that currently pays for separate coaches, coaching, No one needs coaching, but when you want to go from good to great and you want to accelerate the crap out of your results, invest in you in whatever way that means, because investing in somebody who has the experience and the wisdom so that you don't have to make all those mistakes not only reduces your timeline in your learning curve, but it also means that you have the accountability to actually get the things done and we're we're not meant to be alone, we're tribal beings. And so the simple aspect of asking for support and investing in yourself, those two things in combination make the biggest difference in human lives when you try to do it all yourself and this is something from being a stuntwoman, when you try to do it all yourself, imagine any time you're like, I've got this, I can do it on my own.

Think about me running around and trying to do the entire stunt show myself and if you're sitting in the audience what that would look like and it doesn't have to, if you genuinely, well first off, you know, I'll give you a way that you can dm me and have a conversation that will not cost you anything. So that's not a barrier other than your time. But when you get to a point where you're like, I can't afford whatever it is, there are so many free resources out there, you know, Youtube free master classes, Amazing podcast like this one that you can listen to and you schedule this time for you and that's so when I say don't do it alone and invest in yourself, it can just be time on your calendar and listening to some brilliant minds in order to start moving the needle. Mm I love that. Okay, so Benny, you have been so amazing and so insightful and um so full of wisdom.

I just love everything that you've shared with us. I am going to ask you first of all I want to say, thank you so much for your time. I'm just so honored to have had this time with you and it's been awesome. So that's the first thing you are so welcome. Oh and now I would ask you in closing if there's one last little tidbit of wisdom, insight, a message. Hope, what would that be? Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot. Nothing's ever going to get better. It's not. And that's from the Lorax is from Dr Seuss. And what I would add to that, not the Dr Seuss needs my commentary, but unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot about you, nothing's ever going to get better. It's not. And so most of the things that you're looking for for your business to give you for your job, to give you for your lover, to give you for your kids, to give you, give it to yourself first and then see what happens.

Because oftentimes we don't have an issue with having these things in our life. We have an issue with metabolizing them and receiving them and anybody who's like, that doesn't make sense. Think about the last time you were given a compliment. Did you receive it or did you reviewed it? I love that. That was amazing, bunny. Thank you so much. You are so awesome. Thank you. I received that compliment and metabolize it and we'll have that feel the rest of my day. Oh, I love that. That is awesome. Thank you so much

Blossom Your Awesome Episode #53 - That Magic Space With Bunny Young
Blossom Your Awesome Episode #53 - That Magic Space With Bunny Young
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