blossom, You're awesome podcast episode number 54 today on the show, Sheila Sutherland is here with us and she is going to be giving us insights into the power of choice. Sheila is a social and emotional intelligence coach, professional educator, speaker podcaster and best selling author. Sheila teaches people how to cultivate the necessary competencies to manage their behavior and their responses more powerfully. I am so honored and delighted to have Sheila here with us sharing her wisdom, love and light. Sheila, thank you so much. Welcome to the show so much. So I am so excited to be here with you and all of your listeners today. Oh, I am so excited to have you here. Let's get into your background and how you got into this line of work. I guess it really starts with I was going through some stuff and it was some really tough stuff that I was going through and I didn't know how to navigate it, you know, it felt like my whole world had come, you know like to a crashing halt.

It was, I felt completely just out of my element. Like I felt I had no answers which was something that was really foreign for me and I just, I've never felt that way and it was really uncomfortable and I didn't know which way to turn and you know it's it's kind of cliche but you know it's kind of like that, there's that saying and I don't know where it came from of when the student is ready, the teacher will appear and it happened, that's the way it happened for me, it was like all of a sudden, like I was brought to my knees, like how I said, I just kind of hit bottom and I was like, I need help, I just, I really need help, I don't know what that looks like, I don't know what to do, I don't know what direction to go, you know, the universe, just like show me like what do I need and it felt like literally overnight, all of a sudden I'm getting emails in my inbox of workshops I could do or I was seeing programs that I could be and all of a sudden, like everybody I knew was all of a sudden was a coach, I was like where were you people?

Because I never saw you before, but I guess I wasn't open to it, right? So it just wasn't in my, my sphere of of you know, my brain taking it in and really understanding what it was. So, I just, I started this journey of trying to figure out who I am figure out what what what is this thing called life, mean, what is it supposed to look like? And realizing that I was living for everybody else and all these expectations and everything that everybody else wanted, but it was like, what about me, what is it that I want, what do I want out of life? What what do I want to accomplish? What is why am I here, what is my purpose? And I just, I I just started this journey of which I don't think is a journey that will ever end. I believe I'm a lifelong learner, I'm constantly going to be learning things just you know, at a higher and deeper level and I just started realizing that do other people know this because it just seems so foreign to me.

And I went, oh my gosh, I need I need to educate people, I need to get this word out of things that you can do. So we don't all have to like go through life feeling like we're that hamster on the wheel, you know, just running running running for what, you know, and I thought I need to, I need to find a way to help people through this because I found the people who helped me and I am like so forever grateful for them that I wanted to be able to do that for someone else. And you know being that education is my background, that's kind of where that's what I do, that's what I'm all about. That. I figured this is what I have to do this, I have to, you know, help help just kind of shake up this world a little bit because I think we're I think collectively we're all a little stuck especially after these last couple of years and we just, we need some guidance and I wanna be that person that maybe be there for somebody who's listening.

That's like, hey, do you need a cheerleader? Well you know what, I will be by your side and help you, You know, navigate our emotions, navigate this life, get us to a place where we're kind of where we're supposed to be like not living under all of this, this negativity and judgment and and just expectation of society. Mm wow I love that Sheila because you know, and this is not to knock anybody but a lot of times there's just so many coaches out there now, right? And people are, you know, can be, hey, wake up one day and say, hey, I want to be a coach. That sounds cool. But there's it's such a different thing when you've suffered the hardship and you're bringing this life experience through your own transformation and then giving that back to people. I just think that's so beautiful and so powerful. So but I always say I will never ask you to do anything that I haven't already done.

Mm Right? Because yes, you know what, you know, when you're talking about making change in your life, no matter what it is, some, you know, trying to, you know, change a habit or have maybe some people want this massive transformation. It's not easy. You know, if it was easy, everybody would be doing it and we know that's not the truth and it just admit to me anyways and this is my opinion only. I just feel it's just so much easier to navigate. You know, the ups and downs and the roller coaster and the, you know the pits and the valleys and and whatnot with somebody who has experienced it because that's, it's kind of fast tracking it, right? Because they can go, hey, you know what, you know this, this maybe this way I just want to warn you, but it's okay, I'm here with you, I'm gonna hold your hand and I'm gonna help walk through this forest with you so that when we get on the other side, you know, we can have that celebration together. Mm I love that. That's so beautiful. Yeah, I mean that connection and being able to kind of bring the empathy there versus oh well this is what I read you should do.

So do this this and this, right? And you know, or this other side of that where it's like, okay, well I've been through this and I know what you're going through and I empathize and I know it's hard and um all of that. So that's just amazing. I love that. I think that's so cool that through your own transformation, you're now sharing that with the world. That's awesome. Well, you know, and some people may, you know, look at a lot of the things that I've gone through and, and I think, you know what I have every reason to be angry at the world? I have every reason to you know kind of be negative and be down But is that really where I want to live my life? You know it doesn't that doesn't feel good. It certainly doesn't for me and you know, I would hope that some people, you know listening would agree that that just it doesn't feel good. It has it has a physical impact on our health, on our bodies and You know, one of my goals is I want to see my 100th birthday.

I have had that goal since I don't know how long like and I don't even know why I started that but I just I love my birthday's it ended zero and what's better than having a birthday that has two zeros, I want to be able to do whatever I can to get there. But it it's more than you know, working out and having good nutrition, you have to care of yourself mentally and emotionally and spiritually as well because that has a huge impact on our immune systems and our overall health and I think with these, you know this last little while people are finally starting to see that and I think that this is now I think people are now way more open two to hearing what those of us that our coaches, those of us that have gone through stuff. It's like yes, help me. I want I want I want to live you know, a more vibrant connected life. How do I do that? Mm and so how do we do that?

Oh my goodness. Well one thing question but just be a little tip there on that. Well the one thing I'll say I started this way and you know and I want to I will encourage everybody else to to start here too and you may already many people may have already do it but I would encourage you to deepen it is starting with gratitude and I know some people go oh yeah we hear about gratitude all the time. Yeah yeah yeah I'm grateful for this, this and this and this. Yeah let's like I said let's get a little deeper with that. Okay so you're there's something that you're grateful for Why like really connect with the why why why are you grateful for? What does it mean to you evoke some emotion to it And it's part of retraining our brain right? We we know that if we have certain certain thoughts, certain feelings that are constantly going through our brain it's kind of that what is I can't think of the proper terminology now but it's kind of the self fulfilling property, right? If I think a certain way I'm gonna find that right?

And so since we have that control and we may not realize that we have that control, let's put things in our mind that we are grateful for so we can find more things that we're grateful for and you know when I first started hearing that, I thought, oh yeah, whatever you know kind of thing, it works, you know, it's so simple but it works and I would find, I would encourage people to find ways that work for you. You know, for me, I love writing things down. I'm I'm a pen and paper kind of girl always have been and so I would sit down and write down, okay, you know what is it that this, this day that I have been grateful for and I will, I will be honest and say some days that was a struggle. There was some days you know, depending on what's been going on in my world, I'm like, oh my God, there was nothing I was grateful for in this day. But I really had to dig and I think and there are going to be those days where you feel like there's just, there's not a single thing, but if you dig deep enough and you will find it and that carries me through to the next day because every day is a blank slate.

Right? So you get that that chance, every day of okay, so that was yesterday, Yesterday sucked. But that doesn't mean it has to happen today. Today is a brand new slate. I'm turning that page in that book, it's a blank piece of paper, how am I going to write this day now whether you do you know, a gratitude practice first thing when you wake up or I like to do it first thing when I'm going to bed because I liked that to be the last thoughts in my head before I go to sleep. No rather it does or it doesn't, I just feel it it enhances, you know, it enhances my dreams, it enhances my my sleep, I feel like I sleep better, I can I can go to bed or fall asleep quicker and easier if that's what I'm focusing on, you know, while I'm, you know, doing some kind of deep breathing and I found that that has trained me to be asleep in minutes instead of sitting there and staring at the, you know, the spots on the ceiling and counting them until the wee hours of the morning, you know, so you'll find a way that works for you.

Maybe I mean I did a thing where I used to challenge myself to take a picture of something every day and post it on facebook or instagram as my kind of accountability to myself, you know, find you know something I can take a picture for and say this is what I'm grateful for today, you know, so there's so many ways you can do it and I just encourage you find one that fits right with you that fits with your lifestyle that fits with your personality, there's no one right way to do it and maybe it's just when you're driving and you're stuck in traffic, you're like, okay, what am I grateful for in this moment? And yourself in those times? Oh, I love that. That is such great practical advice. Now, let me ask you mindset shifts. This is, you know, a key component to the work you do with people. So let's say, somebody is just stuck in this negative hard space or time in life right now, You know, things are really challenging, everything's on a downward spiral. Where would that person begin to start shifting that mindset to see some hope or something at the end of that tunnel?

The first question. And for some people, it may be the hardest question is do you want to shift, right? Because for some people where they're at rather it may feel negative, it may feel icky, It may feel whatever for some people, they get something out of it, like they do, they serve some purpose for them, rather it is, you know, they get attention from other people. They, you know, they feel like they're, people are constantly checking on them. So, you know, it's there, it has to you have to want it, I can't want it for you, your partner can't want it for you. You know, nobody can want it for you. You have to want that shift like it. And again, there's another quote that's kind of started dancing in my head and I can't quite, you know, pull out the proper words. But it's kind of to the effect of the pain of transformation has to be greater than the pain of staying where you are mm Right. And so you're like, no, you know what I'm I'm done being in this spot, I'm you know, I'm done feeling overwhelmed, I'm done a feeling stressed out all the time.

I'm done with feeling like my emotions are this roller coaster that I have no, you know, no control over, I'm just done with it. I want more. And so you have to, the first question is do do you truly want more? And I think that is one of the biggest shifts is when you want it, I'm like, okay now, what do I do? And so when you when you're now ready, you feel ready for that shift, then it's you know, do you feel like you can do it on your own? Do you feel like you would like some guidance, you know, with that? Those are the choices again that you you want to look at and for some people Yeah. You know, and maybe you are a really big D I. Wire, you know, get some books, get some go to webinars online, find some programs, you know, find something that can start cracking open this this new kind of let me say this new shift, this new paradigm, this new narrative for yourself. And if you're just like I have no clue, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Well, that's when you find someone to help be your guy. And I think that so many people are, I think more willing now to ask for help because we are collectively just tired, we're tired of being where we are. And you're like, just please help me. Please show me what I need, where to go. And I say, I'm I'm so proud of the people who are finally like, yes, I'm ready, please help. And that's that's not easy to ask for help. I'm one myself, I'm not good at asking for help, but I am getting better at it. And so I will applaud those that are like, you know what, I'm not good, but I'm gonna try it and I am going to ask. So I'm like, I really want to, you know, give the high fives to the people who are willing to do that because it is just that in itself can be stepping outside comfort zones for people because we're so used to just doing it all on our own. And I think if we're really, really honest with ourselves sometimes doing it all on our own just doesn't work.

Look, it's lonely, it's tiring and sometimes it's risk it's nice to have somebody there that you know, can share the burden, you know, kind of shoulder some of the load with you and even if it's just to hear you vent, right, just so you feel heard you feel seen you feel validated. I think so many people don't get that. Nowadays. We isolate ourselves. Especially emotionally and mentally. We isolate ourselves thinking that. Well who cares, who's going to care what I'm going through and that the honest truth is so many people do care. You just have to find the ones that you feel comfortable with that you feel like you can trust and yeah, I just wanna encourage you like find find that one person you know that that you feel that you truly can be honest with and that's going to help those shifts start to happen. Mm wow I love that.

That is so powerful now. Talk to us. You know, I am a big believer in the power of choice. I truly believe that we have the power of choice and we can change our lives, our circumstances whatever. So give us a little insight into this. But you know, and I think that again, so many people don't realize we do have that power. So it's it's part of taking that power back. Um you know because I think you know just society is what it is. It feels like it's all happening to us and it's really easy to get caught up in in all of that because it oh my gosh, I can't remember what the number is but the number of information, the bits of information that we're bombarded with every day. It does. it feels like we're completely out of control, but the reality is we do have a choice. And one example I want to give you is around happiness. Because the number one question, if you were to go out on the street with a microphone and ask people, you know, what is it that you want out of life?

High percentage, if not all of them will say, I just want to be happy. Happy feels like it's this this thing that we're out searching for and none of us really know what it is when we get there. Like we don't know what are we searching for? It just seems it seems like it's the unicorn that's like, I don't know, I'm searching, I really don't know what I'm searching for. I don't know if I'll know it when I get to it. Right. The truth is is we can create our happiness through choice. And I think we just have to realize we have that in our hands. And I would encourage you and I haven't looked recently and you know, that's my era. I should have I should have had a check, but there was a great documentary on netflix and it's just simply called Happy and I don't know, have you seen it? I'm I have not seen it, but I'm familiar with it and now I'm gonna watch it now that you're recommending it, I guess I encourage everyone to do. I kind of try to watch it if I can find it on a yearly basis, this is a reminder.

And so there's a whole bunch of these research that we're researching this whole idea of happiness because it seems like it's the one thing we all want and need in our lives and they have come up with this formula and I think it's it's powerful and they found that when you think about our genetics, 50% of happiness is based on our genetics. You know there are some people who are just predisposed to be happier than others. And I think we probably know some of those people that they are almost annoyingly happy all the time. Right? And they just just genetically they they have this they have that set point that's a little bit higher. So that's 50%. 10% of our happiness is based on circumstances, our jobs, our income, our relationships, the you know the toys that we go out and buy ourselves but we sometimes get get kind of lost and think that those circumstances are what creates our happiness.

And then we wonder why we're not feeling happy. Oh I have to buy more things. I need more toys, I need more whatever and I need a different relationship But it's only worth 10% of our happiness but we put 100% of our effort into it mm That still leaves us with 40 And that 40% of our overall happiness is completely within our control. This is where our choices come into play. So even if on the genetic side you didn't win the genetic lottery and you don't have that full 50% on that said maybe genetically you only got 30% of the happiness there And you're you're doing the best that you can on the 10% of the circumstances, You still have 40%. That is due to intentional activity that you can do in your life, to create your own. And it's all based on the choices that we make in our life. And I think when people realize that 40% of our happiness I am in control of it's in my hands, what am I going to do with that?

And I think we will then make different choices. We will make different decisions, knowing that will this serve my happiness or is this not going to? So it completely changes our mindset around how we make those choices. If we can look at it going how is this going to serve me? Is this going to create more happiness or take it away And you're gonna start seeing shifts happening in people's lives when they just take that second. And instead of having these like knee jerk reactions to everything, Take a breath, take a thought and just kind of go which direction do I want to go with this? What outcome will I get if I choose this way, What outcome will I get if I choose that way, and that allows us to bring that control back into our lives now, maybe your decision doesn't work out in the end, that's fine. You made a decision, you followed it through, Okay.

It didn't work. I'll make a different decision next time. Mhm. Right, so it's not you're not gonna be it's not this oh, I have to be 100% right all the time. It's just making a choice. Making a choice. That's right for you in this moment. It may not be the right choice six months from now, but it's the choice that you're making in this moment. And I think when when when people start exercising that and and seeing that it allows it actually, I think it calms the nervous system down knowing that we have that control in our life, we can navigate through a lot of these things that society and life is throwing at us with a little bit more ease and don't we all want a little bit more of that in our life, wow, I love that, that is just um you know, it's it's so powerful, even just that just take a moment and pause. So now let me ask you as far as like behavior shifts and around, let's say, you know, a difficult relationship where people, you have two people that are just reactive and there's this constant kind of, you know, conflict and struggle going on.

Is that the same guidance there for something like that, you know, because one of them has got to take a moment and pause to kind of alleviate that at some point, right? But what's gonna be, Sorry? Yeah, no. So what would be that kind of, where would someone start with that to learn to be less reactive and and it is honestly just like you said, it is take a pause, take a breath. Um when you look at from the emotional intelligence side of things, one of the first places I like to start with people is getting them go through a practice of learning what emotions feel like in your body. Because a lot of times we get very disconnected from our body, right? We live in our heads. You know that again, this is just this is the product of society, it's the product of life that we're living right now, that we live A lot of us live a lot of times just in our heads and we completely disconnect from our body. And so I have a little exercise I'll put through people, just to kind of okay, when you have an emotion coming up, try to identify what that emotion is, try to put a name on it and sometimes we can struggle it, even naming what we're feeling then, where do you feel it in your body because it's going to be different for everybody and when you look at it from a relationship aspect, I'll just talk about how it was for me.

I would I know I would get in this when I was married. I had you know, whatever we were having and I would start getting riled up and like, I would literally feel like I have this volcano starting to come up from my stomach and it would, I could feel the tenseness starting to come up through my chest. And if I and I finally realized that if I allow it to get to my throat, I'm not gonna be responsible for what I'm gonna say after that. And usually at that point in time I'm doing damage control. I think there's a lot of people that resonate with that. So why don't we try to be a little proactive. So now when I feel like I'm starting, my stomach is starting to get that kind of that rumbling this like I can feel like that volcano is really starting to build up that pressure now that I've recognized. Okay, this is what this feels like. I know what the end result is. If I don't kind of be proactive and kind of stop that kind of in its tracks. I will I look, we'll look at my partner and I say now I'm like I need to walk away If I don't we're not going to have an intelligent conversation and nothing will be solved.

I need to walk away. Give me a few moments. I am coming back. This conversation is not over. I just need a minute to collect myself and then I will rejoin this conversation so I can so it can become a conversation and not a yelling match because we both know if we both start yelling at each other, nothing gets solved. But everything gets hurt. Mhm And if if you have an eye, these are conversations also you want to have before they happen right? And so my my partner who I have now like you know new into our when we kind of decided, yes, this is a relationship we're going to be. You know, we're moving forward with this. This is a conversation I had said, I told him I said this is what I need. I said if we get to this position and I say I need space, do not follow me. I need to leave the room, I need to go sit in the bedroom. I need to just sit there and calm myself down. Do not follow me into the bedroom, I need my space and then I will return and and then do actually return.

Follow through with that. Like don't just disappear, don't think OK, I'm going to calm down and it's just gonna magically all go away. You do need to come back to this conversation to finish it but you have it in a way so that your your nervous system has calmed down. All the threat centers in your brain have now calmed down because when those threat centers in your brain get fired up, no logical thinking can happen. It just it just can't. And I always picture it as you know, you may hear people talk about you know the lower brain, the more instinctual brain and then you've got the upper more higher logical thinking brain. I try to picture it because I'm a very visual person as there is a staircase between the two. And when I get riled up, when I get when I feel those like the volcano of emotions starting to happen, I visualized that staircase getting fogged in like that really thick dense fog where you can't see your hand in front of your face. And I when I realized you know and I see that I'm like okay, well I can't navigate that that staircase because I can't see it.

So that means I can't get to solution, I can't problem solve. I can't make this better in this moment. I need to go sit down. I need to take a moment. I need to take that pause, allow that fog to clear off of that staircase. So then I can walk it up and find the solutions that I need for whatever the situation is in my relationship. Mm I love that. You know? And I found since both both my partner and I have been practicing that he has his own way of doing, you know, his his stuff and then I've got mine. But being that we practice, we both keep those promises to ourselves in that way that we're going to follow this process. We've been able to have difficult conversations. We've been able to navigate them usa without yelling at each other without having all of the, you know, like you say that emotional rollercoaster happening that really doesn't serve anyone and it all starts with just taking highs.

Mm wow, I love that Sheila, now, you know, talk to us, explain to people emotional intelligence, what is that? Oh, that's a that's a very breath. Just a simple, you know, like for people who don't really truly understand what does that look like, What does that entail? Well. And when it comes to emotional intelligence, so many people think that it means managing your emotions and it's you know, I I have to keep my my my emotions in control. I have to keep my tight rein and leash on them and I'm not allowed to get upset and that is so not what it's about for me. And and some emotional intelligence coaches may have different definitions how I look at it is all emotions are valid. They are there for a reason. They're there to give us cues and clues as to something is going on in our world, in this moment.

They're there as a like a stop sign, right? Because when we're driving we see a stop sign, we we don't really know why we have to stop, but we know that we need to because there's something there and I find emotions can be that way too. They're there as a guide post. What we do need to manage is our reactions to them and through um you know, working through some processes through emotional intelligence is learning how to manage our reaction and that's what we've kind of been talking about already. We feel that emotion come up when we're having an argument with our spouse. I could just jerk my way through it and just let you know this verbal vomit come out and just spread my emotions all over this person. But I'm managing my reaction of knowing and having that intelligence of okay, if I, if I stay on this, this pathway, things are not going to end well for either of us and I need to step back for a second and let myself calm down because something is being, something is triggering me, something is going on in this moment, I need to take a second and evaluate this and then I can come back, it could be when we're driving and we hear so much about road rage, you know nowadays again that that the road rage is a knee jerk reaction to something, something is triggering maybe somebody cuts you off maybe and God forbid somebody's fingered you or something in the driving process, there's a way that you can, you know, again, we may kind of go like, who does this guy think he is taking that moment, taking a breath and maybe he just spilled the coffee on himself and now he's really angry.

He doesn't it's not nothing personal against me. He doesn't know me, right? You know, so, okay, you know, he's going through something. I'm I am going to manage how I'm reacting to his behavior. I'm not going to allow it to impact my day. And and that being able to have that intelligence to do that takes time. You know, emotional intelligence is a a soft skill that you can nurture again, when we couldn't go back to the whole genetics conversation, some people will have a higher set point that they just already seem to know how to manage that some people don't. But this is a skill that you can learn, you know, like anything, any professional development that you do, you know, in your career, this is something you can do for your personal development and you can nurture and learn the skills to be able to manage your reactions. So we can have all our our kaleidoscope of emotions because they say, and we but we're able to manage our reactions to the point.

So we can actually get the information, get the knowledge out of what those emotions are trying to tell us. And I think that was a longer definition than I meant to give. That was amazing. That was perfect. It really was, it gave us a lot of context there and um so thank you, I appreciate that was like exactly the definition, I don't know about others, but that's the definition I wanted you to give us. So thank you now, you know you thinking traps, talk to us about that because I know so many people, I mean not know so many people, I mean I do know some people who can get stuck in their heads and ruminate and just can't break free of that. So how do we break free of those negative thinking traps? Oh my goodness, Yes, those, those are like the hamster wheels, right? They just go on and on and then there's no end. Mhm. You know, and we're I don't think there's anybody who is immune to those because I will admit I there are times I will I will get into, you know, the rumination about something, you know, and a lot of times I will, you know, and I've learned to recognize, oh this is something that it's it's bringing up something that happened so long ago, you know, kind of thing.

And again, it's that it's a self awareness aspect and self awareness being I think is one of the top competencies when you look at emotional awareness or emotional intelligence is having that self awareness and so I will have those moments where I maybe I'll allow myself to ruminate, but I'll be like, you know what I'm giving you an hour when that hour is done, we need to shift out of this way of thinking because it's not serving us. So there's sometimes that's a choice that I make is you know what I'm just going to, I'm going to honor this moment that I'm in, I'm gonna allow it to have its time, but I'm not going to allow it to take over my life. And so that's a deal that I've made with myself, you know, that I'll give it that time and then I find a way to shift out. And one of the ways that I have always used, I went to a conference, oh gosh, probably, Gosh, it's probably getting close to 10 years ago and Tony Robbins was one of the main speakers at it.

And I mean people you know, either love or hate him, you know, neither here nor there. There was something he said that really it's stuck with me to this day and it's to change your emotional state. You need to change your physical state. And so what that means for me is when I'm ready to shift out of whatever that you know, that thought bubble that, that you know that I'm stuck in the thinking the mind trap if I want to get out of it, I have a playlist of music that I've had preset like I I already had, I put it together, you know, in the times when I don't need it and that's like anything, right? It's being proactive, have things ready for whenever something happens. So I have my, my preset playlist that I put on, I put it on as loud as I can without annoying too many of my neighbors and I just start moving. I am by no means any sort of a dancer. That's not the point.

The point is to just move your body because when you look, he kind of said when you look at the word emotion, it's e motion, it's energy in motion. So get your body in motion and your energy will change and I would challenge anybody. You can be in the worst possible state, like emotional state, You can be angry, you can be sad, you can be frustrated, whatever it is. You put on one of those songs that you just love, it's really hard to stay angry by the end, you know, because it just starts moving. You start moving your body. You got all the energy and the fluids all moving through your arms and your legs and you're shaking your head, like just get every part of your body moving in some way, who cares what look at. I'm grateful that my cat does not laugh at me. He just kind of looks at me and goes, oh, she's just in one of those motions again. You know, close the blinds whatever you have to do to make yourself feel comfortable to do it.

Just move, move your physical state. Maybe that means going out for a walk. Maybe that means uh something I've done too is I've gone driving. I really love driving. You know, you get on a some of those roads, right? It's just like a country road. You can just drive and I have yelled in my car because nobody can hear me, but it's a way to get it out of my body right? Get whatever those negative thoughts, Whatever those negative emotions, Whatever the whatever you're feeling, that doesn't feel good, find a way to get it out of your body physically. And you will, I think you'd be hard pressed to find somebody who's not going to feel better afterwards. Mm I love that. Now Sheila, I want to say um, first of all, you have been so amazing and so insightful and have just shared so much wisdom. So I thank you for your time today. I'm just so honored and touched to have had this time with you.

Well, I appreciate you allowing me to, to speak with you and with your audience. It's that's an honor to be able to do that. So thank you for that gift. Thank you so much. And now um you know, in closing, I know I'm gonna be sharing some links to all of your stuff if people want to get in touch or whatever I know you had mentioned, maybe you have um like some sort of gift you want to share with the audience. Yes. So one thing I'll say when someone are, someone is listening to this right now and they may be feeling yes, I'm ready. Yes, I'm going to do that. And then the, the podcast comes to an end and they get busy with life and they don't follow through. I want to challenge those people. There's people who are in the point that they're like, yes, I am ready for change right now and I'm ready to ask for help. I have opened up some space in my calendar for five action takers. Those that are like, yes, I don't know what this change is going to be, but I need to talk to somebody.

So I'm going to give five of your listeners one hour to have a chat with me. No obligation. No fee completely. Just let's have a talk about where you are right now, where you would like to be and what possible changes you can make in your life right now that can start making those shifts to happen. And so to do that. And I'm, you know, I'll give you, you know, just use my person. I'm going to give you my personal email because my business one is having a little issue with the servers, which is just my name, Sheila, H Sutherland at Gmail dot com. Don't forget the h in there for my middle name, a lot of people forget that. Just put awesome your blossom in the subject line. And the only thing you need to say in the email is I'm in ask them and I will get a hold of you and we'll figure out a time to do this. But let's let's start like you want to talk about any type of change? Takes just takes one step, take that one step, two towards the life that you want towards the life you deserve.

And let's find some way to you know, so we can navigate this. Everything that we're going through right now with a little bit more ease and have have me as your cheerleader by your side. Mm I love that. And now I think you kind of said I was gonna ask you and you're welcome to share a little more here in closing. If there's one message, some words of wisdom, what would that your hope for us all? What Is that one message you'd like to leave us with art today? You know, because a lot of times we go, yeah, yeah, I want to do this. Yeah, I'll get around to it. You know what that never comes the perfect time is? I think a lie, we tell ourselves if you want to make a change in your life, you know, something is not working. You're feeling overwhelmed, You're feeling stressed, you're feeling like you're drowning in some way. Take action today in whatever way. Start your gratitude process.

Start learning where your emotions are, what they feel like in your body. Start taking that pause. Whatever your first step is, Start it today. Don't wait because you know what time goes so fast before we know it. I mean my gosh we're almost halfway through this year right now. I have no idea where these first you know the first five months of this year or so have gone. Time moves fast. So if there's something you want out of life, let's start making that change today. Mm I love that Sheila. You have been amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you again. I am so beyond grateful and honored that you chose me to be here today. Thank you so much. Um I am as well. Thank you so much. I'm just really so grateful to have um have this time with you. Thank you. Mm