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Motivation to Change Your Life

by Dean Bokhari
February 19th 2021
Description | 307. Motivation to Change Your Life

this episode of Dean bakeries, meaningful show is brought to you by flash books where you can get best selling business and self improvement book, summaries that you can read or listen to in under 20 minutes to learn more and get started for just a buck today, visit www dot get flash notes dot com. Welcome to the meaningful show podcast where every single week we work to bring you an inspiring insight idea or interview to help you live better, work better and be better, both in life and in business brought to you by meaningful HQ dot com. We've got one very simple goal here on this show and that is to help you do more of what matters and less of what doesn't. I'm your host, Dean bakari and if you're ready then I'm ready. So let's get into it. I took off my shirt and I stood in front of the mirror at 19 years old. I was a blubbery sloppy mess. I was sick of being that way. I was sick of being chubby. I was sick of being soft, I was sick of feeling tired all the time and I was sick of having no confidence. I was sick of what I'd let myself become.

And the worst part I've done it to myself as I stood there in front of the mirror and looked at my soft pudgy body. I felt disgusted, disgusted with myself and man boobs, for God's sake man boobs And it was a painful feeling. But something happened in that moment, something happened. Something shifted. I looked at myself and I said out loud enough is enough Enough is enough, it's time to change. And then all my emotions welled up inside me and I just kept on yelling. That enough is enough Enough is enough. It's time to change. And I kept on screaming that at myself by myself, I'm standing in front of the mirror looking at my chubby body and I'm saying enough is enough. It's time to change. And all my emotions though welled up inside me, which is one of the reasons why I remember this so well. I mean it was such a long time ago and I still remember it.

I still remember that moment because it was an emotional moment for me and it was a moment in which I made a decision. A shift occurred for me mentally that I would use for the rest of my life. And in that moment I was ready in this particular instance to take on the challenge of changing my physical state. And that night I decided to make that change would be hard. I knew that it would be painful. I knew that but I would do it and I did, you know, whenever I'm faced with challenges and trials and tribulations of any kind rather than complaining about them or allowing the victim mentality to take hold. I choose to believe that this challenge, whatever it may be is here to help me become better in that moment. You know, over a decade ago is probably the first time I had really learned how to do that, when I really learned that the way my life is is my responsibility and I need to take responsibility if I don't like it, if I want to change it.

And that's when I shifted from why is this happening to me? Why are things this way to? No, no, no, no, Well, you know, things are this way because that's reality. Either I let it happen or that's just the way it is now. I can choose to live with that or if I don't like it, I can change it, I can rewrite the script and that simple distinction can be the difference between a failure and a success, whatever those words mean to you, it can be the difference between living an unhealthy lifestyle and putting in the work to change your health and live a healthy lifestyle. It can be the difference between being broken bankrupt, which I have also been to becoming a millionaire, which I now am. And so that's the difference and it starts of course there's a heck of a lot more to it right than just making a decision or making a mental shift or visualizing, you know, you can't visualize lies, you got to do the work, you gotta put in the hard work and that's what we're going to talk about today on this episode is how do we change our lives, how do we turn challenges upside down and what are the mechanics of that?

So one thing is that, you know, whenever I'm faced with challenges and whenever I'm sharing with other people, what are the bigger biggest things that they can do to change the challenges that they're facing or change their lives? Is to first start with making that mental distinction. You know, when something happens that I don't like, something happens that sets me back a challenge, a problem, something stressful rather than taking on the victim mentality rather than allowing that to take hold rather than complaining, I choose to believe that that challenges here to help me become better. I choose to believe there's a better version of me on the other side of every challenge I'm forced to deal with. And once I decide to use that challenge to use that problem as an opportunity to learn what I'm made of rather than opportunity to complain and wallow in my own misery. That's when a powerful two part shift occurs.

The first part of the shift is mental. On the other side of this problem, there's a better version of me. The first shift, the mental shift then leads to shift number two. The physical shift which says, now that I know this problem or painful thing or challenge. It's an opportunity to grow, what are the actions I need to take to make that growth happen. It takes the same amount of energy to stress yourself out. Thinking about your problems as it does to make a definite decision to do something about them, deciding to fix your problems is going to move you towards an eventual solution if you take action. But thinking about why you don't have what you want or wondering why bad things always seem to happen to you, that's going to get you nowhere. But backwards problems are a good thing. I choose to believe that and it may be beneficial if you don't already do so to choose to embrace that mentality as well. Problems are a good thing. They're there to help you grow, solving them, makes you happy.

So how do you apply this? These ideas that I just talked about to make? Whatever changes you want to make in your own life. So number one, think about a big problem that you're facing right now. Something that's stressing you out, something difficult and challenging. Maybe you took a big financial hit recently, maybe working from home for over a year has led to more snack breaks, which has led to more to a fuller belly. Let's just say whatever it is. Think about that problem, write it down. Number two, be brutally honest about it. Don't say I'm feeling the burdens of a financial strain if you're suffering financially admitted to yourself and say so don't say I'm looking a tad bit out of shape. Say I'm fat, right? You gotta face reality, stand in front of the mirror strip off your clothes, look at yourself and say how do you know, how does this make me feel? Looking at this every day, walking around with this extra weight, putting that pressure on my bones looking like a sloth. Feeling like a sloth. It's time to admit if you're a sloth or sloth make it emotional, that's the whole reasoning behind it.

The reason behind getting real about the problem that you want to change whatever challenge it is is to make it emotional enough such that you want to get away from that pain and move towards a different life, moved towards change away from pain and towards the change, you know, make it emotional and painful enough. This challenge this problem. You want to change that. It will inspire you to make that change to take the actions that require you to change even when you don't want to right step number three, make the shift from victim to hero from victim to a hero. Once you face the reality of your situation, it's crucial that you don't allow yourself to become a victim of your circumstances, reality is reality. But you can change your reality. If you choose to do something about it, take responsibility, you are in charge.

You are powerful. For example, if you've admitted to yourself, you've allowed yourself to get fat, don't sit there and say it's a lost cause and then go and eat more cookies, stand up, tell yourself that you are in charge and the time to change is now envision yourself working hard, turning things around, envision yourself getting into better and better shape, Envision yourself in peak physical condition. Now you have a painful reason to change, which pushes you away from your current state and a positive reason to change which pulls you in the direction that you want to go. So those two, those two things, one is pushing you away the pain and one is pulling you towards it. The change the future, the better version of yourself. And so making the shift from victim to hero is really changing from why does this happen to me, woe is me?

What's this? Why do I have to always have these problems? Why is always bad stuff always happen to me. Instead of thinking like that, you could think I can change this. Whatever this problem is, whatever this issue is, it's here to help me grow, it's here to help me learn, it's here to help me become a better version of myself, that's the hero's mentality step number four make a plan and work that plan, right? So you've got your problem, you've been brutally honest about it, you've made it emotional, you've shifted your mental paradigm from I'm a victim too. I'm a hero and you've envisioned yourself working hard and achieving success now it's time to take action, you know, what's the results you're aiming for if your problem was solved If your challenge were turned around, what would it look like, what would it feel like answer these questions and you'll end up with a goal, right?

This goal is something you can strive for once you've got your goal, it's time to make a plan and begin taking action. When I was overweight and unhealthy, I had set a goal to get down to a single digit body fat percentage at the time, I was a chubby mess and when I set that goal, I didn't know how I'd get there, but I had a target which meant I could start and to achieve that goal, I had to start an exercise habit. I had to clean up my diet and I had to stop spending time with people who didn't support my vision, you know? So I had this outcome, I wanted to change my physical state, right? I was absolutely out of shape, Unhealthy, overweight, horrible lifestyle, horrible diet, never exercised, and I wanted to do this thing where I'd get down to single digit body fat and start actually having muscles and have a lean physique. How was I going to do that? And that looks impossible right now, Looking in the mirror, but I set that goal, I made that decision and I decided to start doing something about it to help me get to that goal to realize that outcome in my mind.

And I took small steps daily. It took a lot of time, took a ton of hard work, but one day I remember looking in the mirror looking at myself and I no longer saw roles, actually some muscles. I was like, gosh, what, This is crazy. And you know, the the change is slow, the pace of change is very slow in this particular instance, right? With with the physical and you don't see it day by day, you just got to know that it's happening and you got to keep on working hard to get closer and closer to your goal incrementally small steps daily. And you know, sometimes, you know, in this particular instance, I remember just looking up one day in the mirror and thinking Holy Smokes, you know this, I actually I'm seeing a change here, this is incredible. And you know, I'm trying to say this modestly, but it was just a big shift for me mentally because when I realized that I could change myself physically, I could change, I have the power to change practically anything in my life, Right?

That version of myself that I envisioned in my mind 12 months earlier, when I was standing there looking at myself in the mirror and disgust That was one year earlier and after 12 months, that vision that that I said in my mind that day to change my body to change my health, to get in shape, that vision that I had in my mind, that goal, that outcome. Well, it was no longer in my mind now, it was my reality, it was pivotal, it was a powerful moment for me and in that moment I realized I could change practically anything in my life. And so can you, you've got your problem but you can do something about it. You've gotten real about that problem. You know, you can change it, you've got your goal, you're making an action plan. Now ask yourself what is one thing that you can do to turn that problem around and achieve that goal to make that vision a reality for yourself.

We've all got problems. We all face problems. We've all that's life, right? That's the only that's one of the only guarantees in life, you're gonna get problems, you're going to face challenges. But are you going to let those challenges overcome you or are you going to use those challenges as opportunities for growth to get better, to become the highest biggest version of yourself. Doesn't matter what that challenge is, relational, financial, physical, mental, whatever it may be, embrace that challenge. Challenge is a good thing. Problems are a good thing, solving them, brings happiness go out there every single day and live like you give a damn mm hmm. Okay, yo it's Dean.

Listen, I hope you enjoyed this episode of the podcast. If you found this episode inspiring or if anything else you've heard on the show has helped you or made an impact on your life in any way, I'd really appreciate it. If you showed me a little love with a quick review over on Itunes or on whichever podcast platform you tune into the show on every single review helps us reach and inspire more people to live. Like they give a damn listen. If you've got self help questions of your own that you'd like me to answer live on the podcast, hit me up over at meaningful HQ dot com. You can submit them over on the contact page or you can just shoot your questions directly to me at questions at Dean bakari dot com. Thanks again so much for subscribing, sharing and tuning into the show. I've said it before, I'll say it again. It's because of you and tens of thousands of other listeners from around the world, tuning in every single week, week after week, day after day, that we are able to continue creating content to help you crush it and make an impact in your life and at work.

So thank you for being part of this and continuing to share the podcast with your friends, your family, and anyone else. You think it could help until next time. This is Dean bakari telling you to go out there every single day and live. Like you give a damn

Motivation to Change Your Life
Motivation to Change Your Life
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