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The Five Love Languages

by Dean Bokhari
February 11th 2021
Description • Rerun of EP#171. "The 5 Love Languages" • With Valentine's Day around the ... More

this episode of Dean bakeries, meaningful show is brought to you by flash books where you can get best selling business and self improvement book, summaries that you can read or listen to in under 20 minutes to learn more and get started for just a buck today, visit www dot get flash notes dot com. Welcome to the meaningful show podcast where every single week we work to bring you an inspiring insight idea or interview to help you live better, work better and be better, both in life and in business brought to you by meaningful HQ dot com. We've got one very simple goal here on this show and that is to help you do more of what matters and less of what doesn't. I'm your host, Dean bakari and if you're ready then I'm ready. So let's get into it. Today, we are talking about the Five Love Languages, The Five Love Languages, The Secret To Love That lasts. So this is a classic book, I want to share with you some of the big ideas from written by Gary chapman called The Five Love Languages.

We've got the full book summary available for you, of course at Get Flash Books dot com. But today I want to just do a quick overview of this book because it's a powerful book, man, it's a very simple book and it's been out for a very, very long time, a couple of decades now it's sold several million copies and there's a reason why it's still a best seller because this stuff just works. It's it works. It's basically in the book he tells us that look, love is a language just like english, chinese french Arabic. And it's a language that in order to communicate with the people around you, you need to understand what love language they speak. In addition love languages, they've got different dialects, right individually specific words and actions within a single love language. Right? For instance, we speak english here in the United States. But if you talk to somebody from Oklahoma versus somebody from new york, you're gonna get two different dialects right from Oklahoma is going to be like, hey man, let's talk about the five love languages now, why?

And then from new york, you're gonna be like, hey, let's talk about the five love languages. You need to get some coffee too, hot dogs. And then we'll talk about the five love languages, you know what I mean? You gotta get it done, let's get it done, get it done. So it's like two different dialects, totally different dialects, one super slow, one super fast. And so that's also another detail within each language. And so he talks about all of those little details in these five love languages and how to use them and how to identify yours as well as the person that you're in a romantic relationship with, whether that be your partner, your spouse, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, husband, wife, whatever it is. And so the key here is to find out your love language, right? Express that to your partner, and then also find out your partner's love language and be sure to speak with them in their language specifically. Here are the five love languages. So number one is Words of affirmation. Words of affirmation.

Number two is quality time. Number three is receiving gifts. Number four is acts of service, and number five is physical touch. So, let's dive into just quickly an overview of each one of these. So, love language. Number one, words of affirmation. So, words of affirmation are just, you know, verbal compliments, Words of appreciation. They're powerful communicators of love and their best expressed in simple, straightforward statements of affirmation. Right? So, for me, words of affirmation is actually my primary love language. So, I appreciate it when I'm appreciated, right? When my wife tells me that I've done, you know, a great job with something specific, right? And then she she details that and tells me specifically what that was. That goes a long way with me, Right? And so, when she recognizes certain things that I do, and then tells me how much she appreciates that that really matters to me a lot.

And so, words of affirmation for some people are super important. This means complements. It means kind, encouraging words, right? When she builds up my ego that matters to me, right? So compliments and encouraging words, by the way, those are the two main dialects within this love language. Now, the encouraging words are not about encouraging them to do what you want by the way, it's rather encouraging their interests, their talents, their strengths and the things that they're already good at and saying, hey, you can do it right there. There's an example that he gives in the book where he says, you know, there was this husband and wife and the wife was, you know, she really wanted to be a writer and she wanted to, you know, do all these things and submit her her work to this magazine and all that stuff, but she just didn't have the confidence to do it. And one day her husband comes home and she's got her laptop line around and she's working on this article that she doesn't think she's ever going to submit to any major magazine. She's just doing it even though she wants to submit it to a major magazine, she's too afraid.

He sits down, he's drinking his coffee, he's reading his wife's article that she's not proud of and, and and is afraid to submit. And he reads it and then he walks up to her and he burst into her office studio and he says, hey honey, I just read your article, It was phenomenal, you've got to submit this into whatever magazine and you know this, this work needs to be read by millions and millions of people. I'm just so amazed by how well you're able to express yourself with words, it's just unbelievable you make you you create such a clear picture in my mind when I read your writing. And so he's like building her up and she's like holy smokes I didn't you know, he's never said that to me before. And lo and behold, she ends up actually submitting her stuff to this magazine as a result of her husband's encouraging words because that really spoke to her and now she's you know, a well published author and writer columnist, all that good stuff. So, you know, those things really matter.

So if your spouse or partner's primary love language is words of affirmation, you should use that, right, encourage them, compliment them and do it genuinely. And if yours is words of affirmation, let your spouse know, let your partner know boyfriend girlfriend know. Alright. The second love languages about quality time, quality time. This means, you know, if your mates primary love language is quality time, that just means simply being there. Being present. Not looking up and down at your phone, not you know, thinking about one thing while you're talking to them, it means looking at each other's eyes being present. The third love language is receiving gifts. Now this seems like a surface level love language. And sometimes I guess it is. But the key here with someone whose primary love language is receiving gifts is not just getting any old thing, not just spending money on that person, but finding something meaningful that's tailored specifically for them.

That could be making something doesn't have to be mean spending money, it could be creating something, it could be as simple as drawing a picture. It could be as simple as writing a poem. It could be as simple as putting together a bracelet. Right? But it needs to be something that shows that individual that you thought of them, right? That you thought of them if you're a woman and your man really likes belts, right? And he, and he loves all sorts of different kinds of belts and he's got a huge collection and you want to give them a gift that matters a lot. Maybe find out what his favorite, you know, figure out what his top two favorite colors are and get him a belt with those two colors and have his initials engraved on the inside belt buckle. That's a pretty cool gift. That's a meaningful gift if your dude likes belts. Right? So that's receiving gifts. Love language number three Love language number four is acts of service.

Now, this is my wife's primary love language is acts of service means things that you do for that person. Things that require thought planning time, effort, energy and have done with the positive spirit. They are humongous. Oh, expressions of love, right? So acts of service are, are strong love language and when done with kindness done with love, they really go a long way. And and and so essentially this means like if you if your wife's primary love language is acts of service, right? And you do little things without her having to ask you to do them, then it can go a long way, especially if you're she's not used to you doing them right? Like making the bed if you never make the bed uh taking out the trash. If you usually do it, if you wait until it gets really full and freaking flies are flying all around the trash can and she's got to ask you four times before you get off your gas and do it and you do it resentfully and you do it within a half hearted way.

That's not an active service. Acts of service are being proactive, it means doing it before someone asks you to do it. So That's acts of service love language. Number four meaningful acts of service. Number five Love language. Number five, the final love language. Physical touch. Physical touch. So physical touch doesn't mean just like having sex. It means you know, P. D. A. Holding hands, kissing, embracing. Uh it means communicating emotional love in a physical way. So showing somebody that you love them by not feeling weird about holding their hands and hugging them in public. Bye by giving her a back rub right by running your hands through her hair. So and obviously having sex. But there's other things right? Love touches. And so these are the emotional lifelines of the people for whom physical touch is the primary love language.

So, those are the five love languages. Again, a quick recap number one Love Language. Number one is Words of affirmation. Love Language. Number two is Quality Time. Love Language. Number three is receiving gifts. Love language number four Acts of service and love language. Number five is Physical touch. If you want the full book summary again, you can pick that up over and get flash books dot com. The name of the book is the five love Languages written by Gary chapman. Until next time go out there every single day. You know what to do, live like you give a damn. Mm hmm.

The Five Love Languages
The Five Love Languages
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