Dear You - Personal Development & Mental Health

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Listen to this if you're in a funk

by Nabeelah Munshi
July 23rd 2021

There's something in the air these past weeks. I swear anyone I talk to tells me their feeling off

and that kinda reminds me that this is life you know. You have highs and lows. 
... More

Mhm Hi and welcome to episode Dear you thank you for listening. If you haven't yet left me review rating please do. So I would really, really appreciate it today. I just wanted to talk about, you know, like the weird phases in our lives that we go through. Um I was just called in the greatest phases because that's what how I can uh relate to them as so um for the past three or four weeks I was kind of feeling like a little grayish, you know, like there was like a great cloud somewhere even though I was fine, Like I was functioning obviously I've done like a lot of work on myself, so even when I'm feeling down or something like that, I'm still completely functional, I I can do a lot of things, I can focus on work, I can I can do everything really, but there's like this unsettled feeling in my heart that like I can tell that there's something going on, you know? And so um I was kind of sitting there and I was like, I have no idea how it started, it just started on a sunday.

I remember specifically, I was like sitting there and starting on sunday and I was like, oh, but it'll go away, like, you know when I wake up in the morning? But the feeling didn't go away and I was like, whoa, this feeling is here and sounds okay, Maybe I should go get some ice coffee and so I want to get some iced coffee on monday. And I remember it still stayed, you know? But I obviously had my to do list. I was like, all right, let's get this things done and everything. But um I realized that everything was kind of catching up to me. And also, um everyone, for some reason, it was like some kind of collective time that we were going through something I swear because everyone that I was talking to us feeling weird. Everyone that was talking to was like, oh yeah, I feel like a little weird or um, or I was reading on instagram and everybody was like, yeah, I'm feeling a little weird and I was like, damn, maybe there's like a lot of people going through this. So, um, 1st, 1st things first, if you're feeling down or even whenever you're feeling grayish or whenever you're feeling kind of low remember that it's just human is totally human.

Um, everybody feels that way sometimes like, I'm sorry. You're not a robot. Damn. I'm really, really sorry. I wish we could be one, but we're not, unfortunately we have a heart and we have a mind and we have a body. And so, uh, when things are not in tuned, it tells you. And obviously, you know, it's just kind of like an indication or a signal or maybe it's not, you know, sometimes it's just something you just never know because there's like so many different parts of our existence and on top of everything there is like, you know, this existential hold that you will always have because we don't have answers to like the world, existence and all these things. So anyway, so that part being taken care of you have to kind of make peace with that part though. You know, I think a lot of people, I think one of the biggest parts of life is to make peace with how temporary this world is, how temporary we are.

Um what else? You know, just the things that you cannot answer, we have to make peace with those things. And I know when I first um I remember the first, you know, I think it's always a journey with this with this little, it wasn't a little part, but unfortunately for me, I found it really early, I think, and made peace with it and came up with my own theory. So, you know, when you find out about like, okay, you can be like, okay, religion isn't true or a lot of things that you find out our structures or whatever. So either you can feel really bitter about the world where you're like, oh damn, like nothing matters. Um everything is going to end, what is the point? And then you're like, really, really bitter or you come up with a story for yourself and really everything in our lives is our story, right? So whatever stories we tell ourselves about the things is the truth. Really, reality does not exist. The reality is just your perception. Like, whatever story you want to tell yourself, like I could literally tell myself stories about this person that I met, but it could be all false because really it's just a story in my head, I literally have no idea what the real truth is.

So um well that's got really deep, what how did it get so deep? But anyway, um so um reality is just your perception and obviously there are eight million people in the world and your perception or whatever you think is right, is obviously not the only truth. So, um first things first, it's okay to feel, you know, grayish and it's totally fine. And I also had one of my friends over um this last weekend and she was my really, really good friend, very old friend and it was really nice. It was really fun and you know, she was going through a tough time too. So but obviously okay for her, her tough time was like a little harder. Probably okay, we can't even compare. This was this was a really bad comparison. You cannot compare any persons rough time because everybody's pain threshold is different. So, you know, obviously you can't compare. That's why I always say that sometimes don't gaslight yourself, okay, do not gaslight yourself.

I'm going to come and like not be very happy with you if you guys like yourself. Um so sometimes you will feel a certain way or you will feel sad or upset or you know, grayish and you're like, oh but what do I have to feel like this for? You know, there are people in the world who are hungry and who are dying and blah blah blah, but they are not you you know you are important. Please do not do this to yourself because that's really gas lighting your own emotions. That you're not acknowledging your emotions because you're telling yourself that oh, there are people in the world who have it worse than me, so I shouldn't be feeling bad. So please don't do that. That's one thing that please just it's totally fine. It's totally fine to feel great. Sometimes. It's totally fine to feel sad. It's totally fine to fill off. It's totally fine to feel anxious. Um So some things that really, really helped me when I'm going through this time and to be honest, I haven't had this time in a very long time. We're like this deep and this long because yeah, of course I will have like, okay, maybe great, 32 days, three days, okay.

But this time it was like three or four weeks, you know? But I was just feeling kind of off kind of feeling like weird and so here's some things that I did um throughout that time, first I was like first few weeks of that period, I was really meditating every day. I was like, okay now, no excuses, I'm gonna meditate no matter what. I'm very good at meditation says meditating every single day. And I was like, um I'll just YouTube it 10 minute meditation. And I was like, you know, and then I was doing everything in my power to kind of fight it. Like the whole time I was like, no, I'm going to get ice coffee or no, I'm going to hang out with my friends know I'm going to go out, I'm going to, I'm going to go out to like a loud environment or like things like that, you know? Like I was trying to kind of feel better, but then I okay, so obviously because I wanted to go away so badly that I was doing all these things but my lesson was kind of that I have to kind of let it be and kind of be very patient with myself and sometimes when I'm going through these times I get a little frustrated or annoyed because I have so many things to do and I'm like I need to do all those things, you know?

But then I've been learning to be very, very patient with myself and to be kind and I've come a very, very long way in my life for that to be very honest. Um there was a time when I was so hard on myself, but now I'm like very, very, very, I love myself so much like I'm not even joking um it's like real true self love out here and um if I'm feeling certain kinds of way, like I know what I need, I will, I will let myself sleep longer. I will skip on my workouts, I won't, I won't feel bad about it, I will, I will order out my favorite things to eat always, I'll be like no, that'll make me really happy. And so yeah, so when I'm feeling like kind of grayish, I always kind of asked myself the first thing that you can do is really sit there and ask yourself what you need right now, and this is something that I've been doing for a very long time and I actually made an episode about this um long, long time ago where I said if you sit in silence and when you're like feeling all these things rather than pushing them away rather than fighting them rather than avoiding them.

Because literally it does not help, it literally does not help to avoid these things or to distract yourself from your cell phone or like other things. So sit somewhere, be with yourself, go on your rooftop, going to walk. I have no idea whatever you want to do, but just ask yourself why am I feeling this way and what do I need right now? And I think every time you ask yourself what do I need right now there will be an answer just from your heart literally. And you know, usually my answer is um either I need to like hang out with a good friend or either I need to be on the couch and just watch a really good movie, you know, like good movies really give you like that warm, fuzzy feeling in your heart. So that um but anyway, so I was telling you about my friend who was here and she was going through like a grace period of her life too, okay and so she was she was talking to me about it and she was just like so so positive and it was just like a really I don't know, I think again like I'm telling you it's always a perspective so one of the perspectives to remember when you're going through a hard time is whatever meaning that you give it, that's how it's gonna be like so for example you could be going through a hard time or a dark period of your life and think that the world is against you or think that oh my God I'm so unlucky or oh my god this is what's happening blah blah.

However if you turn it around and think that it's happening to teach you something because in pain there are a lot of lessons you know and in discomfort we learned so many things in pain, you learn so much empathy. I think if we were never able to feel any pain, we would be like animals of some sort because we would have no empathy for other people, you know for example, I know how it feels to be sad, I know how it feels to be anxious, I know how it feels to be heartbroken, I know how it feels to be like a lot of sad emotions or bad emotions that people don't necessarily want to feel or talk about, and this is why I have empathy for people, like that's why you wouldn't be kind to people and nice to people. So, you know, there's something that it definitely does provide for you. Like pain always has some sort of purpose. Like if you think about it, even your pain Um makes you so much stronger. 1st really second, if you didn't have any pain in your life, or if you didn't have down days, you would never feel the highs, really.

If I didn't feel the pain, the hurt, whatever, I wouldn't be able to feel the pleasure or the joy, because I would just be numb, you know, I would just be going through life just like that, and I guess that's the beauty of human emotions, right? Feeling all sorts of emotions love it. But um, yeah, so, first remembering if you're going through like this, some kind of, some feeling, some type of way, asking yourself what you really need, second kind of thinking, or shifting your perspective and your mindset around pain suffering, whatever you wanna call it, to know that it's serving something for you. It's actually teaching you something about you yourself, and I'm really a firm believer in that, that everything that happens to me is like really teaching me something and I just get better from it every single time I've gone through a painful experience, I've always always always gotten so much better and um okay, and the third thing that I wanna remind you is that you're not alone, you're not alone in feeling this way, if you are feeling, you know, kind of like, or something, a lot of people feel that way all the time.

There are so many people in the world, you know, whatever circumstances that you're going through right now, or for example, if I think about it, I'm like, oh, I'm going through a breakup and I'm really, really sad and oh my God, the world's like shattered or whatever, then you think about it, that there are so many people in the world, and there are people who are currently exactly at this stage, going through the same thing that I am. You know, it kind of makes you feel a little more supportive. It kind of makes you gives you like, a little peace in your heart that um you're not alone, you're never alone and feeling whatever you're feeling, no matter what um thing, you're going through, what human feeling, you're going through what you your what your past has been anything, nothing that you're going through hasn't been gone through before. Okay. This such a weird thing that I'm saying, but I'm trying to say in like in a easier way, but I hope you get it. I hope you get what I'm saying, because it's like nobody, somebody has already gone through the thing that you're going through.

You know, somebody has already felt this way that you're feeling or they're probably going through it right now, your circumstances or your problems aren't like only for you in the world, there are a lot of people who share the same kind of problems, same kind of issues that you are so don't feel alone, you know? Um I hope that makes you feel better, but definitely, you know, thinking about the fact that there are so many people who might be feeling kind of down on themselves today are kind of feeling insecure in some way or kind of feeling lonely in some way or something and you know, I think that's something that really, really kind of inspires me, I don't know if I want to say inspires me, but kind of makes me want to be a better person because I know there are a lot of people going through a really hard time in their life, It's just human, you know, we have feelings and they get hurt and all these things and I want to be a good person, I want to be somebody who can kind of make their day brighter.

I've always wanted to be somebody who who can kind of be a difference in the world, you know, like I don't want them to feel alone, I want people to feel really uplifted around me, I want people to feel happy um and if I can take a little bit of their suffering away, you know, we'll gladly do it because why not? What else am I here for? And um so anyway, I just wanted to kind of conclude it and I just want to remind you that it's totally fine to feel whatever you're feeling, you know, it's totally good to feel a little off. Sometimes we're humans we're supposed to feel off sometimes. Like come on, if you didn't feel off sometimes, like I would be afraid and worried that there's something wrong in your system because you're obviously not robots, so you gotta feel something, but anyway, um so my three reminders for you um for feeling, if you're feeling that way first, you know, ask yourself what you need rather than looking for distractions, I know how much you want to fight it off and be like no, I need to get away, but try to avoid going on social media because it's just going to make you feel worse.

Um And if you're already feeling negative, going on social media just don't do it. Um don't avoid it, you know, like when you avoid the feeling, it's not going anywhere, you literally keep going to keep running from it rather than just facing it, just like sitting somewhere facing it, asking yourself what's going on and what do I need right now really? And second is you know shifting your perspective of that situation, so always thinking that any negative situation, any painful situation anything. So it's always teaching you something, if anything is teaching you a lot of resilience, it's teaching you a lot of you know willpower um resilience and so many positive things that can come out of it, you know? Um I don't know I guess you know, but I just want to say you know um A lot of times like when you see people who shine the brightest or who are the strongest people or who are the most magnetic or very positive, very like sweet, you know when you walk around them and they have this really bright aura, I think those are the people that have been through a lot because they worked so hard on themselves and they have this inner strength that shines through, so you're really building all your inner strength and really with time you learn a lot of um mechanisms obviously this feeling will not just go away, but something that positive that comes out of it is that you learn patience with yourself, you learn accepting life for what it is.

You know, a lot of things can be solved or just acceptance because pain or suffering is just really caused by resistance of a lot of things that we do. So for example, we would know the right thing to do. Like for example like I know that I should be doing this because this is what's best for me. But um I don't want to do that because it's going to hurt and that's like the resistance in between that I don't want to take that action, even if it's the best for me that causes, like, a lot of suffering. So if we were just able to accept, you know, some things in life things will be great. So anyway, you understand, like, acceptance, you also kind of become, you kind of change your perspective around these things, you know, because obviously life's not always going to be ups and you find your own narrative to kind of make life better for you.

You know, for example, one of the narratives that I found is that um I try to make the best of my days, like, I'll try to make the best of my days, even when I'm having a really, really bad day, I'm going to end it with something that makes me really happy. So, for example, like, if thai food makes me really happy, I'm going to order thai food and I just want to make the best of this day so and do good in the world and yeah, that's pretty much pretty much all that's going to happen and um the last thing that I said was I know that you are not alone, you are really, really not alone in feeling all these negative feelings because none of the negative feelings that you're feeling are not valid so they're valid. You know, they're totally valid if you're feeling them, other humans have felt them to or are feeling them right now or we'll feel them in the future. So remember these are all valid feelings and just be patient with yourself and um yeah, that's pretty much all all I had to say today.

I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope it made you feel a little better if you're feeling if you were one of those people feeling a little weird for the past 34 weeks, um And I will catch you next time. Bye.

Listen to this if you're in a funk
Listen to this if you're in a funk
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