E! with Naomi

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by Ngbede Naomi
November 9th 2021
This episodes give details about the first fight fight in a relationship. What comes after the honeymoon phase. In this episode I give points on what to do after a fight, what a first fight does to th... More
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Yeah, yeah. Mhm Yeah. The first fight in the relationship, What do you expect in a relationship? What do you expect from the first fight in the relationship after the honeymoon stage. Now, that's what we're talking about today and this is my podcast. Welcome to a with normal podcast and I remain your host now on me and before we go on the song you listened to before the podcast began is Salome by Zealot. I hope you enjoyed that song. So, Back to Today, Back to our podcast Today. Today's episode, like I said in the last episode, this is a series about long term romantic relationships and I'll be dropping episode Stage. This is episode two of that of this first season that we are dropping and today I'll be talking about the first fight in a relationship that fight you get few months, you start dating your partner?

What expect about it? What to expect from the first fight, That's what I'll be talking about today. So the first fight in a relationship, when does it happen? It happens once the honeymoon period starts to wear off. When you stop feeling that butterflies and it can be quite a painful experience both you and your partner, you're so emotionally connected. And the first fight brings in loads of tears and hot. The first fight brings in a lot of pain. It is the first time when the bubble of those high expectations. When all the things you expect from your partner begins to post stand up and begins to post the first argument in the relationship followed by the first fight is always emotionally challenging, especially if your relationship is still new and your partner, you and your partner, you guys are still working on your foundation.

Let's not get it twisted, arguments are healthy. But there's nothing like the realization after your first fighting in relationship, there's nothing like it because it's after your first fight. That's when you both realize how much you love each other, that's when you realize how much you can do with each other, it will be the first time that you learn to think about each other when things become bad, renting Stones are bad for you now when the couples have their face fights, when the couples went, does that first fight or cause if you are dating for around three moons, the fighters, The fight can come up after three months. Okay. It If it happens before the 5th dates then it can be a bit alarming. Although fight in the relationship is a kind of inevitable because you don't know when it will happen, it could be because of uh a small issue, but most times it happens after the first removes of a new relationship.

How does a relationship change after the first fight? How what happens to the relationship after that first argument? It can never be all roses in the relationship. I want you to know that there are times where you and your partner will disagree on an issue and surely surely google it to the first argument. It will lead to the first fighter you guys are not even prepared for? Okay. Yeah, they do. They prepare for argument. They don't prepare for fights, but it's gonna be a small issue and at least their face fight and before you know the pain and the heart, everything. No, but I want you to know, I want you to know that argument will surely happen. And most times the arguments give its way to fight.

But think of the stink of it as a way. Think of it this way that the fist fights, that first fight in your relationship, it determines how strong your foundation is. I know you're confused, but let me just break it down. Let me let me give you an example. Now, now, after your first fight with your boyfriend or your girlfriend, he might hear she might've turned you a gift. You know, she might commit one of the favorite things you like to cool you down and you might forget that you guys are fighting in the first place. Mhm. So, an argument after your first fight, an argument determines how strongly foundation is. It's all about how you choose to come together after it, surviving the first fight in the relationship is all about priorities, compromise and forgiveness.

Forgiveness is the essential thing in a relationship and surviving a fight in. It's all about this trip things, priorities compromised, and forgiveness in the relationship. Fighting fighting in a relationship, especially the early stages can actually make your relationship make your bond even stronger. Although the first fight while dating might not be very pleasant, it may not seem like it, and you might be wondering what is my relationship looking like? I don't understand what's going on. You might be wondering you might actually be on the edge of your seat wondering if your relationship is going to move forward, but your first fight with your partner does not determine your lack of love for each other.

So it is important to talk to your partner to work this out, arrive at a decent conclusion. Keep your relationship the priority. Why solving a fight? And understand your partner's needs very well make sure to talk to your partner after I fight or before the fight. Why you guys are arguing? You slow down talking away that your partner can understand. Then you arrive at a conclusion. This is just keeping your relationship a priority because you have to solve the fight. Understand your partner's needs more of a the sex after your first fight. The sex after your first fight is guaranteed to be mind blowing. You know, that makeup, that makeup sex now is always mind blowing. So hit the fight, not the person hate to fight. Not your partner resolve conflict as quickly as you can. Don't let it still long. Don't let it don't let it stay for a long time.

I'm giving his good advice to you as your podcast hosts, as someone is listening to and you assure you what I say is true, and that's why I'm giving this advice to you, my listener, that it is imperative. It is imperative to say that the first fight in your relationship changes, it changes the dynamics a little bit, It changes some things. So let's find out. I'm going to tell you how how does the relationship change after the first fight. Now, let's come to what a relationship looks like After the 1st fight. Now, number one, you learn to compromise from your first fight while dating the first big fight in your relationship teaches you a lot more than you thought you would. You know why you were both enjoy your honeymoon phase. I talked about the honeymoon phase in the last episode and I'm sure you lease them to read.

So you know what the honeymoon phase is when you're able to enjoy in that face, the adrenaline rush, the butterflies in your stomach. It didn't let you think about the things that can go on your relationship that fits fight. It's something you don't even see comment. All you're putting is how much I love with each other. But when, when that first fight, when their first fight in the relationship makes its appearance. You learn to think about each other's feelings this time and get to know how your partner reacts in tough situations. The first fight, it shows you, it shows you a new site to them, to your partner and maybe you even learn of a new side about yourself. You you might tend to discover a new thing about yourself, uh, something you don't even know about this is what the first fight does. You're going to put your partner's needs above yours.

And you learn one of the most important lessons of relationship, which is compromised. But there are things you do compromise on and there are things you don't compromise on, no matter how many fights you have, you learn this along the way to number two. The second point about what, how a relationship changes is you overcome your fears, why you are in a new relationship. I know there's always this fear of the future, Your health, your head is fielded. Questions related to whether your partner will be able to handle your temper, your behavior, your attitudes or whether you'll be able to handle you. When you put start fighting, you keep on wondering if you're in a relationship with the right person. If you guys are compatible, compatibility is a huge factor in a relationship. I'm sure before you say yesterday, man or that woman, no.

Before you say yes to damn man. You have to check your compatibility. If you, if you bought a compatible enough to be together. So where your first fight takes place. You observe how your partner handles these situations. More importantly, you observe how your partner's hand handle you as well. All your fears, all the fears you have related to. Whether your partner will be able to take care of you. When things don't go where we'll slowly start to vanish after you have, after you have observed how your partner handles you during the fight. This is when you if you tend to know all your fears are related to just if if your partner will be able to take care of you when it is uh, that fear will vanish. The 3rd point, you learn to respect each other's boundaries. Mhm. Now in a new relationship, you are both still in the process of getting to know each other.

Many times you may overstep or cross your partner's lines and even forget about the healthy relationship boundaries that you must maintain. Some things you take for a joke. Could even possibly be an insult to your partner. Yeah, you you unintentionally holds or find your partner and you don't know what to do. So when fight like this take place, you learn more about your partner's boundaries. This is when your partner will tell you what the things you do that he doesn't like you tell him the things he thought that you doesn't that you don't like. You tend to know more about your partner's boundaries, what our aggravates them and then that's when you start respecting them more. Like it is this day it is important to talk to your partner regarding what they consider, okay and what they consider route.

So you know how to avoid those things in order to make your relationship is full in order to make better decisions in the future. The fourth point is, your foundation gets stronger after your first argument in the relationship. Mhm. Your first fight is is also the test of your foundation. Like I said earlier, you learn to survive the first big argument together, show your face fight. You get to know how strong your relationship is. You get how strong you bought up. When the first fight starts in relationship, there is no clear answer to that, right? It could come any time. But perhaps most times it's after the honeymoon phase, the lovey dovey period, that's where all you do is few. This when all you do is feel infiltrated with the other person, right? But once that has passed, you start thinking about the buttons, you start thinking it's is this guy for me, like I said earlier.

So it is true fights like this that you get to know your partner at a more concrete and emotional level. You both talk to each other emotionally. You connect with each other through the pin, you go through the fight together. The first fight makes you both emotionally stronger and you get to understand one another better. Your foundation grows stronger as you start understanding and Uncovering newer layers of one another. The 5th point you get to know each other the first few months of the relationship about impressing and more in your partner. Now at this point, maybe you still don't feel comfortable enough to reveal the real you in front of your partner to reveal that Goofy side. Because if you things will change if he finds out the real you, but please change after your first fight with your girlfriend or your boyfriend.

The first fight unveils the real you. Like I said, you get to know whether your partner like this version of you during the first fight to get to understand so many things about your partner. So if you are arguing any relationship can't be scared. This is in fact a massive excuse to peel those layers to discover what's on. The needs you to discover how you behave, to discover the real you. This is a massive excuse. This is a massive eye opener. You learn about the things that hurt your partner, how your partner feels about you and the relationship, and also get to know their affairs. This helps you to understand your partner's feelings which will stand you in a good spot in the future. This this point you grow together now after you've had your first fight, immediately, you feel so much sure and growing up in that relationship, you know.

Now before that fight, you're both foods just like two love struck teens going and adventurous going on dates, having fun, having sex, making love, whatever the case may be. But the first argument in a relationship really teaches you a lot, it teaches you that there is so much more to being together when you are with somebody in your serious relationship. Like I said, I placed emphasis serious relationship, not a casual, not a situation ship a serious relationship Yeah. After your first fight, you learn how to be with your partner. Your first fight teaches you to think about each other first and keep this sunk tittie of your relationship approve every other thing, not about to go through, but above everything. You realize that this is no longer about me, this is no longer about two or four separately, two separate individuals.

But it's about us. That us is the fact that the realize that this is about us. This is the group, a majority about our relationship. Uber realize the importance of us. So this makes the two of you work on your relationship together as a couple a new boards go together and come out stronger through your differences and arguments. You would tend to build intellectual intimacy. It tells you how strong, vulnerable and supportive you are to each other in the relationship. Now, what can you do after the first fight after the first fight? What can you do? What are you supposed to do? The first fight? White Dayton is always the most memorable one. Yeah, it is the fight that it is the fight that sets the foundation for all other fights to come.

Should the first fight already gained the experience on how to handle the other fights that is going to come. It's not just a fight. You're not just going to have one fight in a relationship, there's going to be more as you guys go together. So if you don't handle the fair fight, whoa. This fight will also be used as a reference when things don't between you and your partner. It is important. It is very, very important to communicate with your partner when you have your face fights. It is very important to communicate rather than giving attitude rather than feeling proud rather than rather than giving into ego clashes, you can apologize, who can't apologize. It is important to communicate than doing that. Even if you are arguing any relationship, these ego clashes, we just make these worlds this attitude giving weakened the foundation of your relationship. So what do you do after the first fight with your partner? Don't wait too long to make, oh don't wait too long to make up.

How long should they face fight last in the relationship? Now the answer to that question. It lies on how fast you can resolve it, especially if you are fighting in the early stage of your relationship. Yeah. Sometimes you may feel tempted to give your partner the silent treatment open to make them realize their mistake this way. But the truth is that the longer you take to make up, the longer you take to go apologize, the longer you take to go and communicate, the higher the chances for negative feelings to multiply in your heads. When we are angry with someone at that point, all we think about the negative aspects of the relationship. So these negative thoughts just keep on increasing. If you don't start talking to your partner to make up. So don't wait too long to make up or else it will become even more difficult to resolve the matter. # two You have to show compassion.

Yeah after the first fight you have to show compassion. You need to be compassionate towards your partner. No matter whose fault cities, you need to remember that your partner is also hot because of that fist fight. You're not, you're human hearts. So instead of playing the blame game, it's your fault. It's my fault. Just show compassion towards your partner. I understand he's our feelings. Mhm. Mhm showing compassion will make your partner realized that you care about their feelings and at the end of the day. But if you end up saying sorry sorry to each other, she kina that's all sure compassion. And it ends with I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry baby. And you put back to talking things number three come yourself faced. Uh you need to first calm down before talking to your partner.

Don't go and talk to your partner in an angry state. Because when you do that, you say things which you don't meet your first fight with your partner. My making review an ugly side of yourself. It is important that you obtain it. It is important that you control it. Otherwise this this will need to more heartful words being exchanged between you and your partner. So it is important. Don't let your anger do the talking common. So first before talking to your partner. It is only when you are calm and collected, it is only when you come that you'll be able to see the real problem or the fight and resolve and resolve it. Number four communication is the key. Like I said, your first fight doesn't need to end up with your partner and you're sleeping in different rooms, avoiding your cause, snapping each other. You need to communicate with your boyfriend or your girlfriend, talk to your partner and try to calm them down.

Once they come down, then you can't talk to each other about what I told you the most. You tell him what or two she tells you what about her and that's all. Talk in the camp state. You will both be able to tell each other your perspective and talk about the issue in the podium on you. The 5th point is after your first fight work things out together. It is important. Very important to think about your relationship rather than having ego clashes. I've mentioned ego clashes before, attitude giving attitude. You don't need to sit together. You need to sit together and identify the triggers that cost your first fight the causes of your first fight. What what made you guys fight? It will help you in understanding each other and avoiding those issues in the future. Think of a mutually acceptable solution and end the fight with the whole hogs are magical.

If you don't know, hawks are really magical. The first fight isn't about winning or losing. It is about how much you both value relationship. It's about what you are ready to work for it. So Work things out together after the fight. # six learned to forgive. After the first fight in our relationship. It is important for you both to forgive each other saying only sorry and nominate a nominee needs will need to another fight. Don't just say sorry, sensory and forgive each other for the mistakes made move on, move on from them, forgiveness. We help in lifting the body from your heart and you will be able to focus more on your partner and the relationship. The first fight, like I said, sometimes it feels as painful as dealing with the heartbreak or you break up It is because you start feeling these negative emotions that your fears related to the relationship come to light.

The truth is that the first fight with your partner is a positive team. You can ask each other, what are you building from our first fight? Well, you got to know your partner better and in made you realize how much you love your partner. I said this earlier. It is like a wake up call where things are getting real after the honeymoon phase, after the no video of the stage and you both start working on your relationship. Don't hear your first fight since after you bought resolve it. You both will end up laughing about how it even happened after a few years. You keep remembering, you'll be happy about how you resolved it. Take it as a positive step towards making your relationship stronger and with this we've come to the end of this episode. I hope you name the lords. I'm sure I've enlightened you enough about our fight in your relationship. If you're new, if you're just listening to this podcast to understand it better, you have to listen to the previous one.

So you can, if you have any comments, you have suggestions, you have questions. You can leave them in the compensation. If you have voice notes or written notes and also keep listening. You can following us. You can follow us on social media platforms. It would know me on instagram. It would know me on facebook. And lastly, you can listen to our podcast on our website, on our offshore website W W dot page dot com forward slash It would know me. You can also listen to our podcast and uncle on Uncle, Spotify radio public and any other platforms, Apple podcast, google podcast. Keep sending your questions. Keep sending your suggestions as it will be played in the next episode. Thanks for listening. I remain your beautiful host with a beautiful voice. Not only Nina with double E. I ought to see you guys in the next episode by next week.

Stay tuned. Keep listening, shared link, share to your friends. I'll believe you with a song as usual. Like I said, I can't leave you. I can't leave you without doing a song. You have to survive too. I can't just come and talk. Talk and entertain you with something pleasing to the ears. So I believe in yourself from Zealand's chocolate chocolate. Me Lo I've never even choking me now. See you all next week. Same time. Love you all. Thanks for listening. Bye. What? Mm. Mhm. Yeah. But my Yeah, nobody.

I say what do you like me? Yeah. And again, nobody. I mean what do you like me? It's on the bed on mix.


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