Everybody Loves Everybody Loves Raymond

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1.3 I Wish I Were Gus

by Post-Fun Podcasts
May 11th 2022
01:53:47
Description

A man is dead. In this episode, the hosts infiltrate an obsessive ELR fan group, make plans to perform an episode of Raymond at Carnegie Hall, and jealously guard their intellectual property. Then,... More

uh for the last two episodes now I've been listening and being uh and and have been envious of Adam's Raymond Barone impression, oh you're too kind adam, will you give us a Debra? Can I need I need more to get into it than just Debra, I need some emotional, tell me what's just happened in Ray's beautiful living room, raise kids, run through a muck. Ray does not help Debra is offended because Ray is very interested in the game. He doesn't care about the kids because he's in the game, that's his job. Deborah's really upset with him for, for not helping out and she storms off and Ray realizes, oh ship, this means I'm not getting laid tonight, Deborah, it's really good, it's so good. Can I tell you something I was doing and that we'll get to whatever you were going to say in a second Alex, but can I tell you something I was doing?

What's up doing in in the shower? What were you, what were you doing in the shower adam that this reminded you of? Okay, so you know, hey Soul Sister by train, Of course. What if it was what if it was Ray Ray right month, New theme song, new theme song, everybody, wow, So that's my Raymond. Yes, well, no, okay, I was just like, you know, now, now my thing is not gonna be, we're interested, That's that's great, I love that. Well, regardless um yeah, I know, I've been envious, so for the past for the past week, I've been working on my Raymond exciting and um I I thought what a better, what better time to debut it than the episode about death. So this is my Raymond Barone.

Hello, my name is Raymond. Please watch my show. Everybody loves Raymond. It's about me having Goofs with my wife, Debra. I have three, I have three Kids, a girl one And then another boy one. My parents live across the street. That's right. It is the root cause of all my problems. I made a blood pact with the devil. My brother robert is a fascinating young man. Anyway, that's my Raymond. That's fucking you didn't, you didn't? Oh my God, beautiful. I closed my eyes for a second and I thought I was back in the theater watching Belfast. It's just an old irish woman. What are you talking about? That's Ray romano. Did you see Belfast in the theater? Yes, I did. Yeah, I'm going back to theaters.

In fact, I never stopped. I'm one of those guys can't catch code if you're the only one in the theater, You know what? There you go. It's the cheapest private showing we've ever had. Oh well look, that's that's awesome. I thought I saw it on streaming. I thought it was very good. Anyway, welcome back to everybody loves everybody loves. Raymond. Are we not doing an Oscar Talk segment, is that not where this is going? Yeah, we're going to do it now, We're going to do a last year's Oscar talk and make predictions for last year's Oscars. I have a prediction that somebody is going to get a little upset about something that somebody else said. I bet it's Amy schumer. Yeah, well, welcome back to uh welcome back to everybody loves everybody loves Raymond. Uh my name is Adam Rudy, I'm joined by Michael dormer and Alex Shir sorry about all that. And we are the only active. Everybody loves Raymond rewatch podcast.

As of this recording, hopefully that doesn't change, and if it does, you'll be hearing from our lawyer who does not exist. Exactly. We got to go down to the patent office and trademark this format right away, this format, which is literally nothing. So, so um Alex Great Ray Barone impression. It was, yeah, very good. So I'm hoping that as we go on through this, we can each develop impressions of every member of the cast and then maybe at the end we do uh I don't know, we go in front of a live audience. Maybe Carnegie Hall, and we do a table read, we do a whole episode. Table read of the best episode of everybody loves Raymond. That would be a great way to do this. Yeah, we could have, we could have our our listener vote on who based on uh the uh based on the, based on the performances.

We give over the course of the next uh next season, we'll edit our hopefully and we can only hope that we make it, we go the distance. R 200 plus episodes of this, we can edit them down into a demo reel, send them to our listener and have them decide have them cast us basically much like the great performers on everybody Loves Raymond were cast in a very interesting process led by Hollywood's favorite Hungry man Phil Rosenthal. Can you tell? I didn't know where that sentence was going until I got there. I think I drew on all my resources. Yes, but today we are talking about an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. I don't know about you. I definitely would not say this was the best. I enjoyed it. Don't don't don't go into it like just like that.

Like don't don't set the Expectation three that we have watched. I'm I might cautiously refer to this as the best of the three. It's I would say that generally speaking, it has gotten progressively better though, in very very marginally. Um but yeah, I mean it was fine. I we'll talk about it when we get into it. I thought, I don't know, I wasn't uh I didn't exactly think this was as big a comedy masterpiece as some of the as as we would have hoped. But anyway, this was episode season one, episode three, the name of this, I wrote it down, what's the name of the title, I wish I were that. Seriously. Is that a joke in the episode? That is indeed. Before we progress to the next part of this podcast, which is just the sentence after this one I wanted to establish and ask you guys if you would be cool with adding a third uh element for the barometer.

Uh as far as judging ray. And it has to do with this episode. That is judging him firstly on how he is as a father, how he is as a husband. And I think we should consider adding how he is as a son son son because the way he uh what he did for Marie in this episode, I think in my book deserves to get him up on the barometer and I wanted to establish that before we talked about it. Okay, I mean I definitely think that like this episode we have to talk him as a son. I so I have, I don't know if I love the way that he went about it to be perfectly frank with you, but we'll get there when we get there. Uh if you want to be frank with me then just complain until I cook you something. There you go. Yeah, that yo I felt walked right into that one. Yeah. Um Okay, I'm on board with that. I think thank you for registering that for you know, statistical validity ease and reliability.

Xyz sake Our thesis at the end has to be like flawless bulletproof. So we got to establish all this as we go. If we don't we don't successfully defend this thesis to the doctoral committee, then we're fucked. We'll have wasted years of our lives. What is, what is our thesis again? How good of a person is Ray Barone? Okay. I have like a stance yet. Or so far our stances is in development. It's our hypothesis is that it's not looking good, It's really not looking good much at all. Yeah. Our hypothesis is he should be divorced and have his Children taken away from him if not put in jail. Not yet. I don't think that there yet. No. Okay. All right. You have a more optimistic outlook on it than me, admittedly, probably. Uh Yeah, but you're right. He's not exactly gonna win any doubt of the year awards. He's not uh not Danny Tanner in the situation.

Yeah. Anyway, uh we were so well established. So we want to talk about, we would typically here go for remembrances differences of course, are clips of Ray or any member of the cast of everybody loves Raymond. If you are listening and you love everybody loves Raymond or you love us or you hate us. Send us clips of these individuals either out in the wild on like a TMZ interview or in another another movie or tv show and we will watch it during this segment and uh talk about them. Uh and but we do not have anything in the Raymond mailbox yet, do we? Especially because for a couple of reasons. uh the episode where we established this segment came out today and has been heard has a has been according to the latest up to the minute statistics has been heard by three people and I'm one of them and also one of them is me.

So whoever you are out there, thank you. And I hope you're enjoying this and please send us the phrase I used in last episode's description was Ray Jasen artifacts. If you find any out in the wild, please send them in. This can be a picture article, video clip, a t shirt, a tattoo. What are other examples, what's the weirdest thing that you would think would not be featuring the visage of ray romano that you would like to see a mug? I you know, I was thinking of like random trinkets, random knickknacks, there should be a mug that says, I wish I was Gus, and then that would be like one of the biggest inside jokes of all time because no one's gonna get it unless you're a true everybody loves Raymond hardcore fan, unless you're in everybody everybody everybody.

So you heard it here, that's our call to action for this episode. Uh if you are out in the wild, maybe you're at a diner on Long Island even and somebody hands you a mug of coffee and you turn it and you see that it says emblazoned on the side, maybe in a comic sans or another fun fun quote unquote fun font. I wish I was gus steal that and send it to us in the middle. And our address is our P. O box is number one. I think we flawlessly executed that segment. I think we nailed it. Um it's it's rough too, to have to not only have the listen to like two hours of podcast, but then you leave with homework. It's not, it's voluntary, it's it's enrichment, it's not homework. Um Okay, so what's our next segment? We'll, our next segment would be sports, but there were no real sports in this episode.

Right, So I have something to, to talk about if, if it pleases the court. No pun intended sports. Um so in my efforts to promote and make successful this podcast, not only do I take my precious time to record the jingles I mix and edit the episode, I've also taken to working as our personal pr uh marketing guru. And the way I've done this is through a little something you might have heard of called viral marketing, you're going to have to explain a little bit further into it. But yeah, tell, tell, tell the other guys. So I took maybe 25 minutes out of my life, you're welcome to join uh five or four rather. Everybody loves Raymond Fangirl groups on facebook, go away.

Do any of them go into the double digits? They all go into the double digits. My friend, everybody loves Raymond is a popular tv show. Just not among the primary demographic that listens to pop but like here's the thing right? Like everybody loves Raymond but like who who who actively loves Raymond I guess us but aside from us I'm just curious. I personally am ambivalent towards Raymond. I more love everybody is ambivalent towards Raymond. Um I joined four groups. I joined. Everybody loves Raymond obsessed which has 21,000 members. Damn I joined everybody loves Raymond fans which has 4.5 1000 members. I joined the yes these these groups are going to go to war one day fans obsessed. The official the official everybody loves Raymond fan group which only has 1.6 K.

So if I was you know like the elite E. L. R. Fans like you think they draft from the obsessed and the fans. Yeah like they have to like they pick they find the like the best moderators of both of those clubs and then they give them interviews to join the official E. L. R. Club. It's a five stage process and for the last stage you have to cook something for Phil Rosenthal and then he'll probably with one of his famous friends. The last one I joined was everybody loves Raymond tv series parentheses created by Sandy and that guess how many that has. No it has to say I wish it has 5.9000 so more than both the fans and the official not quite as much as the obsessed, but sandy is really knocking it out of the park for Sandy. God, dare I say it. Sandy, come on the show.

Yeah, we should. Maybe we will invite Sandy on the podcast. Honestly, I don't think we have the numbers for her. I think Sandy is used to playing in the big leagues and Sandy would, would put up numbers for our podcast. We have reason to invite Sandy. Wait, you did viral marketing in these. Everybody loves Raymond fan groups. I did what I'm choosing to call viral marketing, which is I posted once in each of them and I did a little A B testing here. So I had one where I took ownership of the podcast and I said my friends and I just started and everybody loves Raymond rewatch podcast and I put that into of the groups and the other one I said check out this new, everybody loves Raymond rewatch podcast to sort of be like, oh wow, I I'm like you, I'm a mere mortal like you, I'm obsessed. I'm created by Sandy, I loved, I love stumbling upon this.

And then the other one, I was like, you know, bequeathing it much like the Good Lord would bequeath, you know, jesus unto the Earth, is this right? I don't know, you know, I don't think the word bequeath is ever used in the bible. Exactly. Hands them out like coupons. You know, I'm gonna say that is not canon, but you know what? All right, it's gonna be fun to to hear from people who came to this podcast, per your anonymous recommendation here. You say that. And then No, they got swindled, but it's too late. They're in this now, you're with us to the end, you know this right? Exactly. Well, I don't know if we'll have to worry about that at this point because of the four posts that I've made, I I got a total of four likes cumulatively. How many of those were you? None. That's great. But they were all in everybody loves Raymond obsessed.

So, clearly, it's like there's a function of the passion of being obsessed with Raymond and you know how many people are going to be converted? Everyone hates self promoters as well, like, a lot of people on the internet go out of their way to ignore or like thumbs down them. So when you said everybody. So was that the check out one or was that the I made a podcast one? I didn't I I took ownership in this one. This was self promotion and they responded to that. So is this a facebook group? Yes, join it. And then you two don't take ownership. In fact comment on my post and bump it, yo this looks awesome. Alright, cool. Alright, so we'll keep you all posted on and by all I mean, we'll keep you posted on whether I get removed from any of these groups, whether this uh leads to us, you know climbing the charts and being number one on Spotify and Apple podcasts.

I didn't I didn't realize that to join everybody. Loves Raymond obsessed. You have to take a little quiz. Exactly the same thing. Oh my God, this is really cool, remind me what the questions are. Number one, who is your favorite actor on this show? I think I said Doris roberts, I'm gonna say Peter Boyle. Yeah, same here. What is your favorite episode? I wish I was gus I think I said I love you. Say I love you. Oh actually no no no I said the pilot. I'm gonna. Then I'll say I love you. And I'll finish out the and then the last question is what must robert do before he he eats obvious answer for us in the know chin with his food. Or apparently in this episode we learned he must also organize his nuts, but we'll get there when we will break down. Hey nuts. Hey nuts. So our impressions are not quite there.

Yeah, it takes a while to I think I think I actually asked to join a couple more but I still have not been approved. So you must not have passed the test. They must have been like Peter Boyle. Who the is this guy? They are legit. It seems they don't they don't accept any old schmucks. Hopefully we we get in before the episodes out like we're done. I meant for the day. Not for the forever. All right, well, we've been talking now for 20 minutes so let's actually start talking about this episode. We Gotta Break 1st Mike. Oh right. Hey everybody, if you're looking for an email marketing tool, look no further than moose and moose End is an email marketing platform that's used by organizations like Sony Domino's Pizza and UNICEF to create highly engaging responsive newsletters moose and provides you with segmentation tools, powerful personalization features, campaign reports and advanced A.

B testing options to power up your email marketing strategy all with their free forever plan upgrade to the pro plan for unlimited visitor tracking, landing pages, integrations and much more go to post fund dot info slash ads to sign up today and let them know Raymond sent welcome back, I hope you enjoyed that break. I hope you support our beautiful sponsors who make none of this possible. We haven't made any money yet from our sponsors. Once obsessed. Once those obsessed fans get ahold of our affiliate links for the make some every single one of them uses that link, then we can just retire. Yeah. And we could watch Raymond full time. If every single one of them, let me do some quick calculation here nine times. Oh my God, we stand to make so much money if we convert every member of everybody loves Raymond obsessed.

Speaking of goals. I think we all want at the end of our life to have such a beautiful moving eulogy delivered at our funeral as the one featured in this season one, episode three of everybody loves Raymond. I wish I were gus. This episode. This episode was I said it in the start, I think this is the best one we watched so far, but I also had a lot of problems with it. What is your guys overall impression? Um Holy sh it sucks. That's that's number one. Um Number two. It was, yeah, that beautiful eulogy, which they, I will say the writers patted themselves on the back for a number of times. I don't think there was any way for Raymond to follow up that, that eulogy more, I think that that was atrocious.

Um one of the things I wrote down a lot in my notes was a man is dead and yeah, nobody seems to care. And now it's about Raymond, I would be like, see here's the thing, right? Like I'm one to enjoy comedies about death. Like waking ned Devine, I've said this to you adam before Waking ned Devine is one of my favorite movies of all time. They yeah, I'm with you. They just kind of acted like this was just a normal get together. Yeah, at all the States were like, oh yeah, we got to go to this funeral. I just I didn't, they talked, they all talked about how important Gus was to them and I did not believe it, I because okay, this was the first episode that we saw that I remember watching on tv um and when I was younger I got the impression that Uncle Gus was just some random dude that was kind of related to Raymond, that Raymond didn't really know and it was weird that he asked him to do the eulogy at all now that I'm rewatching it, I'm not so sure.

It kind of seems like they actually had a connection because Raymond talks about like, uh Gus at their wedding and I just reading his articles and all of these different things, in which case this thing becomes so much fucking worse because it's just like, he didn't care that his beloved mentor. Yeah, I don't know. It was I also thought it was a distant relative that none of them really cared about, but it does seem like it was like somebody who was involved in their lives and nobody seemed to really get the ship beyond the initial like, oh, that's sad, genuinely. Question was he Marie's brother because come down from Canada a great uncle is your parents parents sibling sibling. So it was like, it was like, Marie's uncle Yes, or, or frank No, you're right.

It would be Marie's because all they came because okay, that makes a little bit more sense to me. I was like, did your brother just freaking I didn't Yeah, okay. And they Did say it was 92. Yeah. Which is really, yeah, I would like to submit this episode with, I think the quote of the series so far, the most memorable one and it was said by frank can Hitler have a juice box. I also so let's, let's break so many questions I had. So let's start breaking the episode down because we'll get to the whole Hitler arc. And that that's honestly why this is my favorite episode of the three that we've watched so far. So the episode opens with what is a shockingly short cold open and simple. Very, very, I think it's two lines.

It was one joke. It was not a it was not a full cold open. It was literally a one liner and then cut to the theme. It was 30 seconds, but Actual like dialogue and like meaningful content was only like 10. Like they did a lot of like long lingering shots on everyone in the kitchen, but nobody, you know, it didn't it seemed like an afterthought for the episode, but it was funny. So Deborah is in the kitchen with the kids and they're like, she's like, dad is going to be home soon. And then Ray comes home. He's got fast food and Jeffrey is or Michael, I honestly can't tell they're twins. One of the twins has fallen asleep and Ray just looks at him and says, what has he been drinking again? And that's the whole thing. It's funny line. It's a good line weird that they do a whole cold open for it though. Like it should be a throwaway line that feels like an establishing joke for like a scene.

Yeah, that would have. I think they didn't have a cold open for this and they just chopped off the beginning of the scene that follows like the first proper scene is what it looks like to me. But after we see the classic playset opening for the third time, uh still fine. Uh we see Debra and Ray in the living room now. So the already starts off on a bad note for me because Debra is using well, first of all, Horny Count, She's using sex to try to cloy Ray this episode again, A man is dead. Yeah, I think it's arguably Well, no, it's got to be more, I was gonna say it's tied with the pilot, but there, I mean, we'll talk about it.

But at the man's funeral, a man is dead. So anyway, she's trying to get ready to do the dishes and she says like something to the effect of there's nothing sexier than a man who does the dishes. Ray replies and this is a a 12 punch. A woman who does the dishes is the sexiest thing to him. And then he pauses with another woman. So we take this this winding road from misogyny to queer fetishization, which is problematic in and of itself. It was very big in the nineties. So you know, uh I'm glad we've moved past that because that's a weird, very weird thing to say to somebody. I think it was a weird interaction just right off the top. Um Yeah, I mean I guess it was probably funny when it first and that was first came out, but when I watched it was just like, that seems odd. And then like I feel like that would be that would feel more problematic if it was not immediately followed by something else.

So ali comes into the room holding a pen. What Deborah refers to as her laundry pen? I don't know what that means. What does that mean to you? Does that mean? Good question. I was actually hoping that we would find out. It's just strange because like when I think of a laundry pen, I think of like the tide pen that yeah, that's what I thought it was. Yeah, but this this one like it looks like it's meant to draw over stains. But anyway, it could have just been a marker and not confused us. But uh laundry and fabric markers are permanent markers that help you sort and do laundry easy and inexpensive way of labeling or placing a tag inside any clothing. I see. So I guess it's just like for notes of saying like, oh, dry clean only or something survived the wash super marker. That's, you know what? That's probably it. Okay, all right. We got to the bottom of that. Drew a Hitler mustache on Jeffrey. How is that not what we opened?

That's a good point. That's a good question. And the reveal killed me. He comes in. Debra brings him in with the classic Hitler slash Michael Jordan's in the Hanes commercials, mustache. The line. It's bad news for europe ray. I thought was really funny. It was a good line. I think that each of the three Hitler jokes that they land in this. Each of them, each of them were very, very good. I agree. Honestly I did, I did laugh I think in all of them, they were my biggest laughs for the episode for sure. So robert and frank then enter and this actually gets to something that we talked about last time or on the pilot, why they never locked the door because robert and frank come in and yell at them for locking the door, roberts says something like, what does he say? Something like evil doesn't respect locks or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Um Ray says frank asked him why he locks the door.

We respond something to the effect of, you know, to keep people out roberts and uh, the cop that is robert says evil doesn't, doesn't respect or something. Something that affect evil. Evil doesn't knock, something like that. Yeah. What I found interesting though is like 30 seconds later the door is still unlocked because Raymond opened it, but Marie doesn't just barge in. She knocks continuity. No, it's a continuity error. Yeah, that's, I think that's just an error, wow, good catch, I didn't notice that. Um so frank announces that uh great uncle Gus has died um of a heart attack and this is our first show of the big test of, are you a psychopath? Do you have remorse for somebody who is dead? I think across the board, all of them fail.

Wait, Okay, first of all, body count is now two body count is two leo Gus, but but also here, here's something I have to give, like a small break for frank and robert as they may have already known about this for anywhere from like, like half an hour to a couple of hours and then have come over to tell Ray. So maybe they, I doubt it. Maybe they have been mournful array and then they decided to kind of be dicks on the one hand I want to give because you know, gallows humor is something that people respond to like tragic news with, that's something that happens. But also I didn't get the sense that that was a reaction to tragic news. Deborah shows the most uh grief for Gus, I think she asks, she says, oh that's a shame, how did it happen frank says it was a heart attack, but then they all kind of move on pretty quickly and uh it isn't until frank announces that Gus wanted Ray to deliver his eulogy, that Ray has a strong emotional reaction because it's about him.

Exactly the moment in which they make fun of gus for his baked beans habit. No, that is in the following scene. Okay, Because I also thought that was, you know, a little weird to rip on, rip on him. What a polite way to say that his baked beans habit. Yeah. Um I also said, I said, I meant I did like a little gag about it earlier, but like, I do love Ray saying like, uh, uncle scott. That's a real shame. And then robert goes, you know who we missed notes? Yeah, I just I loved that. Like, I just love this deliberate. I thought brad Garrett got a chance to actually deliver jokes in this for like the first time. Like, they really let him not just be the butt of jokes and be like the weird guy that they're laughing at. He actually got some good zingers in. I thought he sure did. I also will say at this point it was after Deborah came in and he announced that Ray like, actually shared some very kind memories about Uncle the Golden was exactly what was going to bring up the golden pen of how he gifted that he gave Raymond, which clearly meant a lot to him and like his support and stuff like that.

Which we're gonna get there but just saying like what the hell, arguably he gives a better eulogy in the living room in this scene than he does at the actual funeral. How could you even argue that? That's objectively true. Anyway um I thought it also I thought it was funny that uh when frank says that Gus wanted Raymond to give the funeral robert is give the funeral, give the eulogy, robert is on the couch counting his nuts and he says even dead people love Raymond which I thought was a funny little twist. I don't know, it shows the deal the sadness of robert, Barone. I think that like really is he wants to be like he wants to do things like Ray does. He probably would do the eulogy if someone asked him. And then like Raymond in the same scene is like why doesn't robert do robert do it?

And then they cut to him and he's going like not counting the nuts. I thought there were two. I thought there were two ways to read that of like he's doing that to deflect attention away from him or we're supposed to be laughing at his O. C. D. I choose to read It the 1st 1. I choose to read it the first way. I think that I think that that will be hope. I think the writers intended. Yeah I'll cosign that. So why do I keep scrolling the notes when I'm not proceeding in the episode and I keep having fun. My place. I'm kind of fucking stupid. So Marie enters and she at first appears distraught about gus is passing, but in fact she's just upset because Aunt Alda is coming to the funeral and they have a long standing feud going back to Ray and Debra's wedding seven years ago.

Okay, so we're gonna talk about, can we talk about the feud now? Like I want to see if we can work out the actual details of what happened? Good question because here's my understanding. They at the at Ray and Debra's wedding, Aunt Alda was seated somewhat far away from the main event. I think the dance floor from the, from the main thing and she got pissed but also she got so pissed that she started a riot because apparently Debra said that she ruined the wedding and got everybody to leave early and no one was dancing And so my question is, first of all, she blames Marie for that. It's like as though Debra and Ray had nothing to do with. It also seems like you forgot a couple of details. Old buddy mike firstly, apparently she never sent a wedding gift, gave a wedding gift and also according to I think literally everyone at the funeral, the food sucked.

We have got to talk about that scene because that was insane. Holy Ship Holy Ship a man, a man is dead. His body is literally 10ft away and they instead decided to ship on a couple seven years ago, just like the duck is wrong. Does no one actually give a sh it about Gus That's my question. Apparently he was an NPC for fucking everybody. Like jesus, Oh my God. Um I think that is what the feud boils down to is Marie, I don't know the chronology of it and it seems to go back and forth. Either IDa ida Alda didn't send a gift ahead, which she later claims is a table that she had made for them or she got mad because of where Marie sat her and then didn't send a gift, which I think also how appropriate is it?

That there's just this subtext that Marie planned the entire wedding. I was too that's a good point. That's why she's mad at Marie because rape probably Ray was like, you know, just let Marie planned the entire thing, probably over Deborah's objections to Yeah, like, like she probably jumped in and started planning it and then got Ray to not stop her because he is afraid of confrontation and that's probably what happened and that's why this feud started because she was the planner. The fascinating thing to me is also that like later on we finally were spoiling spoiling the episode, I'm so sorry for everybody that's listening in real time. Yeah, exactly. But eventually we have this moment where Deborah goes up to Alda and says, I forgive you too. And I'm just like, basically, who the funk are you? Like, she doesn't even process the fact that it was Deborah's wedding to begin with and I just, like I said, it's so interesting to me that Marie is such a powerhouse, that like even the wedding, like that's not, there's a quote about, I think it was, I forget if it was about a past president, I forget if it was about JFK or if it was about teddy Roosevelt, where they talked about that, that president needed to be the couple at every wedding and this and the body at every funeral basically meaning that you're the center of attention no matter what.

And I think that this clearly applies to freaking Marie as well. I agree. That is a very um, that's a very good read on her. Yeah, I can imagine that all the viewed Ray and Debra's wedding as that party that Marie through more than exactly we have to interrupt because mike and I have both been accepted. Everybody loves Raymond obsessed university. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God, they post so much holy ship, It's very active. It is the most active one. Oh my God, I was looking for your post. I have to scroll. Yeah, jeez Oh my God. Um there is 11 of these groups by the way only has one person posting clips in it. Oh, that's amazing. That is amazing. Get that person on this show, you know, that's how, I think we're I think that's how we have to do it. We have to start our own Raymond faction on facebook and Garner members that way and then spring them with the podcast.

That's a good a good approach. We can create a splinter group and you know, radicalize people within that. The time is now subscribe and start a war among the obsessed. We'll get them all to an argument going, we'll get them all the bomb funerals with criticisms exactly about stale food or whatever. Sorry, sorry to completely derail No, this is good news. That was important. Go ahead and go ahead and bump my comment a little bit with some wow, this this was a really great show. I'm going to listen to every episode, believe it or not, I am still looking for when we find that we are going to do that search, search my name in the group. That's how you do it. Alright. But anyway, let's get back, let's get back to the feud. Let's get back to the feud. I think we can agree it was shitty of all the not to send a wedding gift. I think we can also agree that the overwhelming consensus is that Ray and Debra's wedding sucked ass.

It sounds like a terrible time. It was not good. Apparently the portions were small. The called everyone was apparently sitting a mile and a half away from the ceremony. Maybe it's like they handed it a, you know, an arena or something where the principal people are down on the football field and then everyone else is up in the, you know, top row of the stands. I don't know, I don't know the scale that we're talking about here because everyone at the funeral seems to have been invited to Ray and Debra's wedding. So how deep does this go is my headcanon that they had it at Shea Stadium and they got married on the pitcher's mound. But Aunt Alda was up in the nosebleeds, remember where we were sitting for jerry Seinfeld, that was where and was sitting. I also have to, I mean that would be funny, but also we're dealing with a family of people that consistently overexaggerate.

It is true. It is also a common, this was probably honestly, the wedding itself was probably fine and everyone remembers it horribly because it's been seven years of just ragging on it. Absolutely dunking negatively trash wedding planning. Just because Deborah was involved, it was just Raymond marrying himself. It would have been the best day for all of these people would have been a state holiday Or at least a local one. As, as we've discussed, everybody loves Raymond, but asterix unless Deborah's involved. So, so true. Deborah ruins everything. That's just how it goes. Everybody hates Deborah spinoff spinoff? Um oh, I meant to ask you in the first segment or maybe it was this segment, can we do a bonus episode where we do commentary over waking ned Devine?

I would absolutely love that. Oh my God. I love that movie so much. I know you do alright anyway, so that establishes uh Marie explains the feud and then frank pops in with the very funny, can Hitler have a juice box line, best line. I love the choice to continue him having the Hitler mustache through the entire episode. It Ends up becoming not even like the top 10 problems with the funeral. That's true. Honestly, as far as I can tell, only one person notices at the funeral. I also, I have to give, I have to give special props for putting the twin with the Hitler stache in the front of the double baby carriage. It's his spot. What do you mean? I mean, couldn't have traded it just this one time. Can you put a scarf on him or something? It's like, she didn't even, it's like she wanted to, maybe she wanted a little bit of that spotlight. Like, I mean that's true.

Well their usual babysitters are at the funeral. Still, maybe they could call. Well they can't call leo, he is unfortunately deceased. Also we would not trust him. He would leave them in a heartbeat if there was a, he would make them into a pizza, but There's got to be like a neighbor that has like a 17 year old kid to come over and watch the kids, you know, it's not, they're there for a couple hours. And also like I said apparently no one gives the ship about Gus anyway, so like maybe one of them could have Deborah could have stayed home. I mean, it doesn't seem like anyone at the funeral care that she was there, you know, except except as an accessory to Ray and during the roast, during the, can you get convicted for that being an accessory to Raymond if that's a crime lock us up my right. Anyway, so Marie announces a funny line as well was when uh, she, she was telling Ray to do the eulogy because he's sensitive.

He's got a way with words and all that. And robert asks, aren't I sensitive? I just thought it was funny when she pets him on the shoulders and he's like, you don't have to be sensitive dear, your big, which is just, that's kind of my sense of humor, you know? Yeah. You know, I, I wrote that one down as well. That's that's another great quote and it's kinda, it's kinda like a rag to both of her sons at the same time. Yeah, Raymond is small but sensitive, robert is not sensitive but big. Very period period. That's just how the world works. Yes, that's our, that's the name of our thesis. So Marie announces that she isn't coming to the funeral and this sets up the big conflict in the middle of the episode. But first we cut to Ray down in the basement office. This is the first time we're seeing raise basement office. I'm sorry, can I just with we also have that really weird moment where robert notices that there aren't as many as there are almonds and peanuts and kind of has a conniption, has a little bit of a little panic has like these are dark times, kind of moment.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The emotion he showed in missing that that nut was greater than realizing his uncle was dead. Actually. True. Yeah. Okay, so I just wanted to point that out that that was, you know, one little thing that very good acting by brad Garrett. Yeah, but maybe Has an aged 100% as we've learned more about and become more compassionate towards mental illness. There you go. That's sort of the story of robert, I think we're finding for this this season. Like if you look at it for more than a second, robert is very he needs help. He's dealing with a lot and you know, God bless him. Anyway, we go down to raise basement office and he is attempting to write the eulogy doing a very poor job. We get the Deborah comes down the stairs and we get this little nugget of information and backstory about Debra Ray says you were in pr you can help me with this.

So we found out that yes. So apparently, and we have zero details about this at least seven years ago. Deborah worked in public relations maybe. Yeah, maybe. Maybe even sooner than that. Maybe she only quit when she had the kids. That's yeah, that's married for four years. Yeah. Do we ever learn how they meet before? I think I think they could have met through work. There's an episode where eventually we I'm pretty we get a lot of flashback episodes in the later seasons. I don't know if we ever do a thing on how they met, but definitely like our story. I remember one where they are discussing moving to the house. Yeah, I remember when they find out they're pregnant with Allie. I remember that. But yeah, I don't know if we find out how they met, but that's an interesting I'm curious to see if we will get any more information about that.

Um I'm not confident that we will. But yeah, so she then goes to help Ray write the eulogy eulogy eulogy and she does a really great job with it. She does a really great job with it. And it begs the question, I know we keep jumping back and forth, why, what happens to this draft in between this scene and then Ray giving the because this all sounds great. This is all like, great, well not great, but it all sounds like a fine like boilerplate eulogy saying nice things and putting a positive spin on this man's life. Deborah leaves and then Ray falls asleep on the backspace key. I guess so. And this was before auto save of course, 1996. But then after that, uh, in a truly glorious frank moment, hold on right before they right before frank enters the process of writing the eulogy, a man is dead.

The process of writing the eulogy gets Ray and Debra all worked up and put another, you know, notch on the horny meter because they're about to fuck on this literally on this man's eulogy. I don't like, it's just like I get that they were trying to what they were trying to go for, right? The writer said, oh, would it be funny if frank? We we kept up the bit of the parents not having boundaries, but having frank interrupt a romantic moment, but they didn't realize like what the are you doing banging on a man's eulogy? That's like, it's not exactly an aphrodisiac. Maybe not for you. You know, what do you get worked up? No, I'm not talking about me, Michael, I'm talking about Ray and Debra. Yes, Ray, Debra insatiable Horn dogs rain that we don't have any confirmation by the way that they have had sex at all from the pilot, Right?

Well, I guess not from that point, but they do have kids, they've had sex. Yeah, I know, but like from the point where we're introduced to them, they are horny and at least one of them is horny in every episode but we don't have confirmation yet that they've done it. I think we will at some point. I hope we do. And when we do we'll do a commentary bonus episode over waking ned defined for that. Um Yes, so then yeah Alex your classic frank moment frank enters. Yeah, he uh so yeah Ray and Ray and Deb are getting frisky uh you know by the computer where they're supposed to be writing a eulogy for a man who is dead and uh who else interrupts them but good old frank. He just waddles down the stairs, not waddles, he like barges down the stairs I think is a better way to put it and just quietly just walks from the bottom of the stairs to the the lazy man chair on the other side of the basement and just sits down and says nothing, look straight ahead glorious.

And Ray has to be like dad, what are you doing here? And then we find out that Marie is so upset by the feud that he has stopped. She has rather stopped cooking for him. Which is the impetus for frank to confront this issue, which you know, let's not even get into because if we were to if we were to interrogate every time frank says or does something problematic. This podcast would go back to being 2.5 hours long and we're really trying to avoid that. Yeah, true. You know what? That's very, very that's a decent, but I do wanna do want to say that this continues the trend of this funeral being a very big concern for everyone based on how it affects them, not how it affects Gus again, a man who is literally dead, I mean it doesn't really affect us much anymore. I mean what does Gus care about?

Like, you know, a man is currently as this scene is happening being pumped full of embalming fluid. We're moving the, removing the organs, formaldehyde can set, you know, he's being made up by the coronary. Uh what do you call those? The corner. No, the people who do the makeup, that's a job, that's like a specific job. The people who think it just might be the mortician was not the case on six ft under. They hired a person I think to do the for a second, I have a friend that that does work in the funeral business and he has stated to me before that he's thought about doing, you know, doing his own his own funeral directory, starting his own thing and he says that, you know, this is a real part of it is making relationships with the hospitals. So you know that when people pass away they get contacted and get the, get the deceased corpse is sent to them and it's just kind of like stuck in my craw, just like, wow, there really is competition for everything.

Even after you die, there are people fighting over who gets the remains and who's got dibs Exactly, It's just kind of like, like listen, morticians and film directors do a very important job. They do a job. I sure as hell could never do, I'm very thankful for them, but holy crap, the business side of that is not something I think I was ready for. I, I was imagining you were going to say when you said like when you first have to start, when you first get into opening your own funeral home first and then I thought you were gonna say you gotta get some bodies, which is, but apparent they do it in a way that is less creepy than the way that I envisioned in my mind when you started that sentence true Frankenstein type where I was like, oh my God, this guy's died, I'll call the ambulance. You know, I got him, I got kind of like kind of like how when lawyers, lawyers are starting to follow me and bring your checkbooks, is that a show, can we pitch that of like a guy who two paths a guy who is starting his own funeral home and kills people to have bodies so that he can have funerals or like a better call saul type of like skeevy funeral director who's out there chasing ambulances only if we can come up with a really clever title for either of these ones a comedy and you won't guess which one.

You don't think that that's that's the that's the tagline for the double feature for the double feature. Yeah, let's let's cut this out. So nobody steals our idea. Let's write it up. We will every like important word every now and in those sentences. This how about we we do this whole section is just gonna be and then we clip the unedited version and we just send it to Lauren and here we go. Oh Lord. So anyway, you get to the funeral home right skipped over the hugely important part where drake quote unquote tries to help. I got Ray comes into the kitchen by the way, this is our first time seeing the kitchen in the reversed orientation from the pilot, which it will be for the rest of the show.

Which is interesting why they made that choice. I don't know, maybe it looks better on camera I guess so, I think you can you know what it probably does is it works for the crosses to the living room better. So I bet they only had the kitchen set for the pilot and then they built it out to the full house set, not the full house set. I would, I would love And everybody loves Raymond Full house crossover. I really would. Anyway. Yeah, exactly. So the so the mom walks into the kitchen, Yes, he walks into the kitchen, I keep calling her Deborah, I don't know what that is. They're basically mortal enemies. That's a horrible mistake. I know Marie is cutting Marie is going through pictures of Gus and her and Alda and all of her family from growing up and she's going through and as we find out she's cutting all this face out of these pictures. But uh Ray comes in, he looks at a picture of Gus, he holds it up and he says, wow, he was a good looking guy and then he says, guys can say that now which is the equivalent I think of saying no homo and in fact Homophobic, but it was the 90s.

So we're not gonna take it there, Ray, but you took it there for us. Anyway, uh they go back and forth about Ray sort of very feebly trying to get Marie to give up the feud. Uh not to, you know, unpack the emotions behind it or you know, process what's going on in that relationship. But basically just by saying, can I just get along and that's it, that's it. And then his last gasp at this, by the way, is asking her, she says something to the effect of what is what does she say? Something like what's the purpose of getting of mending fences with all the and he says, why don't you cook dad a steak? There's a purpose. Which even as a joke, which he tries to pass it off is a shitty thing to say, fuck you man. Yeah, it's not cool. I do want to say, I mean after after this scene Marie cry starts crying and runs to the other room.

Ray calls out like feebly like ma it was just a joke and then he turns on the tv and watches the game. Yeah, yeah, They're fucked up man. I want to say because look, I I thought that was kind of funny even though it is fucked up. But I also believe, and I'm gonna defend right here just a little bit because I think he knows his mom well enough to know that like she's like being like, she's like baiting him almost to like come into the other room and Ray, I think he's like at this point in his life he's not he's not dealing with that. So I think he in turn baits her to come back. Okay. So that would make sense. As a that would make sense, right? Because he's like a 30 something year old man. He knows his mom very well and I would agree with you if when she came back in he wasn't so completely baffled as to what to say, You know what I mean?

He didn't have a plan. That's true. Yeah. Um also, I mean to your point, they do go over, they have that moment where she is going through her like guilt trip thing about going out behind the dumpsters and scaring the crows away and Ray is sort of repeating the script along with her as if he's heard this before. So clearly this is something that they've gone over before where Marie is upset and you know, trying to get some emotional resolution from Ray and Ray is not providing that and is mirroring the guilt trip and sort of passing it off as if it's not important. It's all very manipulative and and weird and honestly, you know, I get that it's played up for humor but this is you know a family that is really in need of some counseling. You're not wrong about that, you're not wrong. Everyone and everyone in this family, the whole family system is just completely fucked up here.

Let's check in with the barometer here because I think this is a good point. Good Lord dude, what? I'm gonna give him a two because he is not actively murdering anyone at this point, but okay, no genuine justification. Give me anything that gets him above a one at this moment in time, he is in his most feeble way and whether it's out of obligation or anything else, he is at least going over there and trying quote unquote, trying to resolve the situation, even with, even though, I mean it's with less force than he tried to resolve the birthday thing and the pilot, he, you know him trying to deal with the um the whole I love you thing in the shower in the second episode. This is the least amount of effort. I feel like we've seen him put in but he is going across the street and for that I give him that one additional point.

That is my best justification for giving him a two. I'm giving him a one and the reason why is because genuinely no bullshit. I genuinely think him going over there caused more harm than it did good. I think that it pissed all it accomplished was making Marie feel less appreciated. Which is the exact opposite of what she needed. Which I mean sure. I mean the argument of like it was seven years ago you should put it away. There is there is an argument to say that Marie needs to be a little bit more mature. I am not absolving her of that at the same time. I also think that her son clearly not giving a single solitary funk about any of that did the opposite of helping. That's a good point Down to one. I have like no sympathy for him at this point. Not in the least. It's funny you say that we're in season one episode 3. He's already taken a nose time.

I have no sympathy. Less left for this. We're going to have to end up putting negative numbers on the barometer. That's what I just want to know. I don't think he could go zero zero still exists is him, is him doing like active physical mental harm to the people around? Yes. Okay. Not just, but actually he's currently at a true neutral of just like absolute notion given I am, I'm going into this with the mindset of we're starting where we left off last episode, we were all sitting around a four. I believe. Either you mike or you Adam had about a 4.5 to 4.5 because I was being very optimistic. Yes. Yes. Um for me personally, throughout this entire episode, like the selfishness about the funeral, like yeah, like maybe a little bit lower, like maybe like 3.5. Um and then like going throughout like kind of like the weird horny nous when writing the eulogy, I mean like, I mean at least they were both like on the same page, so like a little bit down and then yeah, I agree.

When he gets to his, to, to Marie's place, he he does it and I know he absolutely does this because his dad won't leave him alone until it's done because his dad won't get food until Marie's not feeling shitty anymore. So I, I feel Comfortable leaving him at a two right now. I feel comfortable leaving at A two because he has shitty motivations but those motivations are motivating him to do the right thing. Bad execution, bad reasoning for doing it, but you're still doing, you're still trying in a weird way to do the right thing and I think he failed miserably, but I I feel comfortable leaving at a two at this point in the episode. I will come in at a 1.5 just so we average out right there if I'm doing the math correctly. Yeah, very, very literally. Yeah, yeah, That's uh well let's see, that's 4.5.

Yeah, that's that's one point five. We're gonna have a beautiful like line graph. Oh my God, In like 10 years. I got, when you said that I got physically like excited, like this is gonna be so fun, cool. And we're going to be like on our slash data is beautiful 10 years from now, like we did a Raymond podcast for way too long and this is how good a father Raymond was and the inevitable are slash everybody loves Raymond obsessed. They will have some things to say about this. Honestly look, here's the thing, if we start getting like dedicated listeners, we should have like, like a way for them all to like vote on like giving ray a score every episode that we compare against our scores. I love it. I just want to say, I also just looked it up uh R r slash everybody loves Raymond is 2.5000 followers on Reddit after the podcast is over.

I'm absolutely going, I'd like you to do it right now and then we can check in at the end of the you know what I will do that. Let me see if I can figure out how to do a Spotify link. Alright, So uh we then cut to the church and it is indeed Gus funeral. Can I just say this is, you know, some great extras in the background of this scene, some great background artists, the multiple army men, every possible variety of old, italian person. It's just great stuff. Well, quote unquote representation. Are there is there any diversity do you remember in this scene? Well, no, but it's it's the Barone family. That's true. It is the Barone. So like if if there's gonna be a reason for lack of diversity in one scene, I I give this one the biggest break so far because it's literally just family and they all appear to know each other and be related.

It doesn't seem like Gus had very many friends outside of the Barone's. So still alive. Who knows, he could have been buddies with leo rest rest in peace. Leo, actually one of the army veterans is a black man. And so I believe that is our first non white person to be on the show in a non speaking role in the background. So that's some class. That's almost friends level, lack of diversity at this point, but we'll keep track of that. Is that it's way too optimistic. Yeah, let's Live here, Mike wrote. So the title is new E. L. R. Podcast explanation. Point flirty found this awesome new E. L. R. Rewatch podcast. Check it out https colon double slash pod dot link slash 16 to 0984160.

I think it's all it's missing is a winky face. Put it like completely passionately. You don't want to open yourself up to, you know, reddit people with that kind of emotional vulnerability. This this feels like you're you're selling way too hard, my friend. What do you want? You want to write it instead? Just put new, everybody loves Raymond Rewatch podcast, colon link done. Yeah, I agree. Or let's do some A. B. Testing and Alex post the normal one and then Mike do the do the flirty one. See how it goes. I shouldn't I should I should, I should maybe, you know, it'll pay off in ways that you didn't even expect. Like somebody flirts back. Yeah. I'm gonna that's that's gonna be how I find my next girlfriend is through the through the comments of the CLR podcast.

Do I hear wedding bells? Here's something that sounds a little less sociopathic. Uh Yeah it's very basic. I knew everybody loves Raymond podcast. This E. L. R. Rewatch podcast has just started its run you misused the wrong. It's you sociopath. That was auto correct. It's just started. Alright, okay. And we'll check back in with that at the end of the episode? I'm excited to see it have one night and it's gonna be me. I love the way we uh inflate our numbers. I think it's really gonna pay off for us in the long. Well Yeah, with the three of us are our ratings go up 200% at least. Okay, so we're in the church. Deborah comes in with the twins in the stroller or Ray and Debra come in rather with the twins in the baby Hitler in the front. No attempt to cover it up. Um, we see that he still has the mustache.

I thought when they go past the army veterans and the old guy points at Jeffrey and his mon is just so I lost my ship when that happened. I thought that was the funniest joke in the episode. I love how strong a reaction they had him due to it like ah also, it's revealed that apparently after the four minute attempt to cheer up Marie, Raymond said, I'm done for the night and did absolutely no work on the eulogy, he threw everything out. He's got nothing. So they come into the, I don't know what you call it, the place where the body is and robert comes up to them. I thought this was a great 12 punch with the Hitler joke and then robert's bride side or groom side joke was really funny. That was a very good line and then Ray asks him um, if he's going to do the noise and classic setup, robert brushes it off such such like a, like a layup.

I know there's so much intrigue with that line. Like you're gonna have to do that funeral noise. Like what Ray may as well have freeze framed like zack from saved by the bell and turn, turn to the camera and been like, you're gonna want to remember this because this is gonna pay off in in this scene. Okay, we're setting up the pins and then we're going to knock them down. I thought it did, by the way, um, I thought the, the choice of what the noise was was really funny, like it wasn't a sob, it wasn't like a whale or anything, it was just like a weird noise and I thought it really, I bet on the script, it just said like robert makes weird noise and they just let brad Garrett do whatever he wanted. I like to think they did many, many takes of this and somewhere there's a super cut of him doing all sorts of different noises. So, um, after that robert goes and sits down, Debra sort of goes off to the side, We see an Alda get up from one of the pews and we get an applause break because aunt Alda is our special guest star for this episode is jean Stapleton who people who are as old physically as I am mentally well remember as Edith bunker from all in the family, a very classic, I did not know I've seen all in the family, but I did not know this was the same actress, I didn't put it together because when she's she has that really, really high voice, right?

Yeah, yeah, so I didn't, I didn't really put it together. So I was I was thank you for giving me that insight. Well, I have a lot of insights about jean Stapleton and I'll run through them pretty quickly. Um she played three different Helen's and four different ants including this one, she also played Eleanor Roosevelt and she played a character called Nagging Wife and then she was in a movie called a tv movie called Ghost Mom, which is also known as Barry me in Niagara, the synopsis for which is a mother returns from the dead to help her son a surgeon find a stone with magical powers before he is killed by a vicious japanese gang looking for the same stone. Let's do a bonus episode where we do commentary over waking ned Devine for that, not over that, over waking the divine just the same. Yeah, we'll have it playing in the background and then we'll talk about this movie. Every special episode that we have, we talk over waking the divine the new fast and furious movie we're gonna watch, we're probably gonna out, we'll figure out this bonus episode thing, I'm feeling like as a break between seasons, probably that's a good idea that time.

So Marie then approaches after an alder and Ray have caught up for a solid four seconds and the feud sparks off pretty immediately. And I love the dynamic that they have in this episode where they're just going back and forth roasting each other. Like it's a very like, you know, nick Cannon's wild and out energy. Um, so I'm gonna just play a couple of clips. Hello Marie, this isn't this nice, you two, you're back together, You can kiss my son, but you can't send a wedding present. Your lips should dry into raisins too late. The present will be here in a couple of years. I mailed it from where I sat. The only reason you're angry about that table is because you were at the center of attention. Hey, lots of attention here. How could I be the center of attention while you're doing the limbo in a sequin dress and a push up bra. Maybe if you had something to push up, you wouldn't be sitting there with a sourpuss.

How could you see my sourpuss where I was sitting? You'd need binoculars. Stop it, stop it. We're at a funeral, Ray, we're ready for you now. So first acknowledgment. Yeah. Honestly some great roasts. Uh, and first acknowledgement that a man is dead since they've been at the funeral. I want to talk to you for just a second about the funeral director who is played by an actor named Hubie Holub and I just want to show you are you familiar with the sort of genre of headshot for actors which is the composite of many different looks. You know, you might have the nerd or the chef or the guy so you like send it with like your acting profile. Okay, so you get cast as a certain type of person on the show. I want to run through.

This is Hugh whole abs image gallery on I. M. D. B. You will see, I just wrote down a list of his uh which I cannot see is his various looks. So you've got priest, doctor, nerd bum, casual guy, Freud, modern cowboy, classic cowboy professor, businessman, army guy, doctor again and victorian. So he's got listen, you know what? This guy is a looker. I believe him in all of these roles. He looks very friendly until he puts on the cowboy hat honestly and he looks friendly again, the two cowboys. He's got like the tall dark stranger cowboy and then he's got like the fun cowboy wearing the bandana and I don't bring this up to roast him because even though you could conceivably show somebody a Hubie Holub picture for any occasion. Clearly this is work that one's just him at a Dodgers game. It's not even him acting, he's just at a Dodgers game and the caption is Dodgers Dodgers hire me.

It's fun to just like flip through them because you got a priest and then you got army guy and then you got businessman and then you got other business man. He plays it all very well, cowboy. Oh wow. Yeah. You know what I believe him Like the beard mustache, like depending on how he does his facial hair. Like I can't believe in any of these roles. Exactly. Honestly, I bet he would and I would love to have him because he has been, he's like worked constantly for the past 30 years. Like it works so to all you young actors out there Take a take 44 different head shots of you in different costumes because if QB Holub is any indication it works a funeral. Um And a priest on other things. Um Yeah, so I respect him for that. Um So anyway, Ray gets up and he is delivering the eulogy, fucking awful eulogy.

What happened to what Deborah wrote? He just gets up there and gives the shitty Wikipedia version of gus is like he basically reads his birth certificate. Yeah, I like that he uses I I like he drops that. He's in a query Because he's running out of things to say already. It's been like 20 seconds back. £10.04 ounces. Yeah watch out ladies like goes into his stores, opening hours, goes into all this stuff. I thought it was funny the he had to retire because he had a bad break with his prostate. I thought that was a pretty funny way to describe prostate cancer. Probably. It's a very funny throwaway line, I will say. I thought that was a very, very funny joke. Also another funny choice in there was frank sitting in the pews with the juice box. I thought that was pretty funny choice as well. Yeah, that was a great background gag. I loved that. And then in the midst of all this, we see Aldo and uh, and Marie, like elbowing each other, you know, doing normal sister stuff and at one point Aldo has to get up and go to the other side.

The bride side in this case of the of the of the church. Wait before we get to that. I also wanted to mention that while Ray was giving the first part of this eulogy while before, he kinda like, does like the thing where he rips up his notes and then starts speaking from the heart where like I realized that like, this isn't yet another like point. Um in Ray's like, kind of fear of communicating emotionally. He lists facts about Gus and not much else because he just, I feel he feels uncomfortable to like, like, kind of tell, you know, others how yeah, what Gus means to him and we know that he had a meaningful relationship with Gus from the first scene, he's like, actively choosing not to make those open up those memories in this vulnerable way and share them with all these people, He's just choosing to go the, you know, cold fact based route because he's a coward and he sucks look at you guys psychoanalyzing Raymond, I didn't even put any of that together like where have you Been the last two episodes?

This is what we do, this is why the show is so long. I didn't notice it. Alright, I thought that was that's a good point. Can I say um the most disappointing tearing up the speech and speaking from the heart in film and tv history, it was not even, I guess he is, he, it seemed like it was gonna be good, it seemed like he was gonna tie it together, the the alda and Marie feud with Gus, like maybe he would take the lesson from that and maybe say something meaningful about gus share a memory or something. But no, you gotta give it to him that, you know, he, he tried his best to kind of, you know, let bygones be bygones bring everyone in that room together and he managed to do that, everyone in that room came together and destroyed him and Deborah's wedding. Okay, we're gonna get there in a second.

But before I just want to ask, are we to believe did the writers intend that tearing up the speech moment and the impromptu speech that did they mean that to be a good speech because for it, every first of all I knew was that it was the studio. Did the studio, were they prompted to applaud that or did they just feel the But it seemed like a weird like there was like they it seemed like it took a while to get going. Like it didn't seem like a natural applause which made me think that they did not intend for that to happen. Which is also like a clapping. It was pathetic. It was sloppy. He was just like, it almost seems like if you saw somebody do that in person in real life, it would seem kind of petty.

Like, again, a man is dead and nobody seems to care and he's using what should be the, like the final recognition of this guy's life, his eulogy, he is using to, you know, pathetically try to end a feud between his mom and her sister. Like a man is dead. Yes. And it's not about gus it's not really about gus Yeah, it really is. Yeah. God. All right, So then Marie and all the they don't remember if they make up at first, but then they start burning each other again, do they just go straight to I mean, well after the awful eulogy, that's when we get everybody standing up and collectively forgetting about gus shipping on Ray and Debra's wedding and then they go into the back room and that's when Ray tries to mend things up? So, a guy. So Marie and all the are sniping at each other about the wedding and then this fucking guy, this bald guy stands up and involves himself and says some shit about the wedding and then that prompts the entire funeral to erupt.

This is insane. Like what the fun, It's fun, What the hell is the funeral director thinking at this point, it's what you sort of see him in the background going like, you know everybody stop but he's thinking like this is the Raymond that everybody loves. It's just it's kind of like it's like trump rally energy, it's like someone lights the fuse and everything goes off and people are losing their minds and foaming at the mouth and what starts piling the on. Yeah, Oh my God, fucking weird dude. And then you see Marie for the first time I think we've ever seen her get flustered. I almost genuinely bad for Marie in this moment and it's just in a way I I honestly feel bad for Marie throughout this whole thing. Obviously the reason this feud is happening is that her and all the don't have the relationship where they can communicate what is actually going on and Marie doesn't have the emotional toolbox to communicate that to her family, to find a positive way to cope to it this whole time is just her having mixed up emotions and not knowing how to deal with it and then suddenly people are piling on her, I feel very bad for Marie in this episode, she's had a really rough break.

Really rough break. Yeah. And then Ray tries to save the day by grabbing Marie and Alda basically by the shoulders and dragging them into the lobby or the front room, whatever it's called and sits them down into random shares. And here is where he actually tries to mend the feud in the most basic terms possible, which is, hey Gus is dead, you're gonna be dead, stop being mad. And that was kind of it. And it worked. Yeah. And I got to give it toray in this scene because I mean, yeah, his communicative abilities to us are not great but and it seems that when comparing to the rest of the Barone family, he is probably in the upper tiers of being able to resolve conflict. It's amazing to me that that he he was able to kinda fix the seven year year long uh like issue in a way that felt real because I mean, he used the funeral to kind of coach them into burying the hatchet because you know, they're both, you know, in this episode very both like, you know, not young, they're they're old, they're like death is coming Yeah, that but I think it worked in this scene where they're in the back room using the funeral to sort of teach them a lesson and put things in perspective.

I thought that worked, I thought doing it during the eulogy and during the funeral did not work and is insane and ridiculous. So they learn the lesson and they make up momentarily this race solving this issue makes Deborah horny at the funeral again. Counter what the this is the horniest episode. You would think it's the first, it's the pilot where the, you know, good old sex and all that. But it's really this episode where they're fucking at their they want to look at the funeral, they wanna fuck writing the eulogy. It's ridiculous. Yeah, it's it's God, what's the Winston Churchill those guys were Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's man and then I will say Debra, Debra, Debra Fox it up, but only because all the memory do not have the skills to maintain.

Deborah still does not realize the insanity, the complete insanity, that is the Barone family. And that In Raymond's mind now that this conflict is resolved, he has experienced with this family, he knows never ever bring it up again. Don't touch it with a 10-foot pole for the rest of our lives and they will be good until they start fighting about something else, does not know this yet. It's kind of like a house of cards where Ray is just happy that it's still standing. Whereas Deborah, you know, the goal with the house of cards is to keep getting higher and higher. And I think Debra's impulse in this scene, let's add another layer to the house of cards and build on that so that maybe I can have a better relationship with Marie and Alda when really she should have just let them stay, you know, on the first level. It is, it's also very interesting that Marie that Deborah made it about her, which it should always have been, it was a cute about her wedding.

She should have been involved. Like, I'm glad that they weren't pissed at her. But it did feel very dehumanizing that it was just like, Marie slighted me when Deborah was the one that put it together. It's a little insulting. I think any time Deborah, you know, sort of tries to become recognized as a full person by this family. It's like, you know, she just keeps getting burned. She does, do we ask the question that is there potentially a resting resentment from Marie towards Deborah for taking her. Raymond away, taking her Raymond away, and then maybe also taking her sister away in this instance. If Ray and Debra didn't get married, there wouldn't be the feud, maybe that's going on as well. It's interesting if you, yeah, if you think about it, this feud has been going on the entire time Ray and Debra have been married. So maybe this has something to do with the way that Marie is maybe if she had a stronger relationship with her sister, she wouldn't have to barge into her son's life so much, I don't know, I don't think anyone but us have thought about it this much as usual.

So I mean we'll, we'll leave that to everybody loves Raymond obsessed to determine. We'll leave that to obsessed with everybody loves everybody loves Raymond. I do want to throw out there before we leave the funeral scene. We see baby Hitler enter the room with with his brother and sister. They basically disappear. We do not see them at all for the rest of this. We see Ray and Debra leaving without the stroller. Like I'm pretty sure they do. I'm pretty sure they do like they're just gone. Which is just continuity is just like disappear. Here's the question, right. Was frank had the juice juice box was frank and robert with the kids. I think we can assume that. But also is the funeral, is the funeral over? Are they going to bury the man people are leaving?

I'm assuming that Ray is catholic because we learned about it looks like I think so too eulogy happens before the mass begins. We have not done the funeral yet. The funeral has yet to occur. Well, no, here's the thing, right. Everyone heard Raymond. Now they can go home. Exactly. Exactly. Forget about the last they're celebrating their compatriot's but a means to an end. Exactly the pallbearers left. So they just have to leave Gus there and that, that my funeral parlor is just not usable anymore. I, I wish and this is a stupid idea. I wish that you know sometimes when a family member dies and they get cremated to keep the urn in your house. I wish they just kept the coffin in their house like they would and maybe robert could use some of his shower strength to like hoist us up in the coffin on his shoulders and walk it and then you could have a fun scene of him trying to get through the doorway.

So the funeral is a train wreck and then we go to our patented hot clothes. Which of course is the opposite of the cold. Open the end credit scene which again They're really rushing through it. I think it's 15 seconds long. It essentially is Ray and Debra on the couch in the living room. Ray says something like funeral was pretty crazy. Huh? You still wanna have sex and then that gets a laugh and then we fade to black and we wait a beat and then Debra's like maybe so there's still horny, so horny so so horny. I don't know. I I I don't want to initially dismiss it as horny Nous because depravity is also on the table again. Like you said adam, like you said like we don't we have zero confirmation that since the series began that these two have had time together to uh do this with each other.

So maybe it's at this point where they're just like they've gone for like a couple of months and they really just both need it. And they're just kind of like, we gotta we gotta get we can't discount that for sure. It's just Yeah, so that is this episode where are we on the barometer? How is Ray performing as a husband? Wife, husband, a husband, a father and a son. So we didn't really get much in the way of husband or other than which I will say, I mean, it's good to want to screw your wife. That's that's a that's a good quality clothes, like a very minimum. Yeah, you got um There you go, first merch. Um goddamn. Okay. Um But we heard a lot about Ray as a son this episode, we saw a lot of raise a son and I will say not particularly great At our midpoint check in, we were at 1.5, where are you coming out at the end of it?

I'm going to give him 100% the benefit of every doubt. Okay, I'm gonna say that. Okay, he's the greatest communicator in the Baron's. What a sad statement, I'm gonna say that, wow, he fixed it only for Debra's naivete to uh suck it up. Even considering all of that, of the we're even going to say that we're going to pretend that the eulogy was good because for some reason every character said it was good, the Studio said it was great. The most you can justify in my mind is a three a three, like because sure he turned it around, he still was atrocious and never apologized. Never once was like, yeah, yeah. He just kinda barges ahead and hope everything fixes itself in the background when clearly it doesn't point. I want to clarify something with both of you right now.

We are. I believe we talked about this in the first episode. We are using the barometer to determine Ray's ability as a husband, dad and son in relation to other fathers, sons. And so at the at the top, we've got uncle Phil and Danny tanner. We established as the best dads. And then down at the bottom, I think we had like, Don draper, walter white. Um, do we have anyone else? Okay, so we're so if we're getting down there, we're talking about violence. We're talking about violence. We're talking about, you know, complete disregard for the family, Complete, you know, disregard for your spouse. Actually should not be a family man. Yeah. Does more harm than good. Okay, I'm sticking at three. I'm just in this episode, I'm sticking at three. That's just like, just yeah, I gotta I can't I can't just because here's the thing, last episode we gave him before, he was so much worse this episode that he was last episode.

So I can't give him another four. That's Yeah, I gotta go with three. Uh, I see here's here's my hesitance because he handled this in relation to the other barons uh like pretty well, like he handled this in a way that he knew his family would react and receive the information which shows me that he understands how to get through to his family and that he can do it when he really needs to. I think he struggled a lot in this episode. I think he was very egocentric with this episode. I think he got hyper focused on his own anxiety about giving the eulogy and forgot what was like really important about the entire uh the the entire, you know thing, you know, a man is dead. But Ray has to give a eulogy.

Oh goodness. Uh And after everything we talked about and after after hearing everything, I I feel comfortable leaving Ray with the 3.5 this episode a little bit, a little bit high, I agree with mike that I can't give him the same grade I gave him last episode, but I don't think he's that much worse here. That's a good point about he can get through to his family when he wants to. It's just, it takes a lot for him to get there because he's so selfish. I'm going to come in. I think I'm gonna give him a three because I think if we're just considering the sun thing and if we're just considering objective human being. Um and you know, the quality of his funeral eulogy. He's a two, I'm giving him an extra point for the horny Nous because if we're waiting, I don't think we can weight them equally like son, husband, father um episode to episode, but depending on the context of the episode, husband is a pretty low weight kids don't even register, they're barely in, this husband is less weighted than sun in this episode, but I think there's so much horny Nous on the husband's side that it bumps it up a little.

So I'm going to come in at three Which I think averages averages us out to a 3.25, right man, three Three point yeah, so it says that's going to come out to a 9.5 divided by three. Yeah, that's gonna come out to about a nine 23 point two. Yeah, I'm so excited like when we get to like season six and like, one of us is giving Raymond a two and one of us is giving Raymond a nine and one of us is giving Raymond like, like a c like completely out of the sky all get so far away from each other. Raymond a poorly drawn picture of like, it's kind of it's amazing that like all three of us are still kind of like really in the same ballpark with each other. I thought we'd be kind of diverging even now. I think we're on his behavior, we're still on the same journey as far as how we're perceiving Ray, we only know so much about him at this point. And I think because we're all sort of, you know, we're all educated men, we all are tapped into our emotions and you know, like to know how to communicate properly with other people.

We can sort of evaluate him based on that. I think with some of the more controversial Ray moves moving forward. I think that's what we'll where we'll start to see some divergence. But I am looking forward to that. I think it'll make things interesting. We're all about 25 years old. We know what it's like to be a man at this point. We got it down. That's also gonna be cool to see where we have like the big line graph where like each of us has our own our own grading and then we have the average and then we have the fans scores. It's gonna be it's gonna be a beautiful graph because I feel like we're all gonna get to a point where either were so fed up with Raymond's bullshit or because like we said, there are over 200 episodes of this, we're gonna get like we're gonna be doing this into our thirties and we're like I get it, we get where we get used to him and start judging him based on his previous actions as well, like understanding where he's coming from more that might end us like help us become more sympathetic to him over time and maybe we'll get a little softer on the worst case scenario is that we start off looking objectively at Raymond and then at the end we have become Raymond.

Exactly. We're all we're all walking around like everybody becomes Raymond. Everybody becomes Raymond. I like. Yeah. Alright, so on that note, let's wrap it up for another edition of. Everybody loves, everybody loves Raymond. And uh please if you find any ray Jason artifacts in your travels on the internet. That's clips. That's articles, that's weird pictures, tattoos or everybody loves Raymond. Official licensed lego sets. Please send them our way to Raymond at post fun dot info. That's R A Y M O N. D. At symbol P O S T F U N dot I N F O. And we will talk about it on the show. Give you a little shout out uh send you some money. Um I don't know. What else can we incentivize people with? We don't, we don't have money.

We're not gonna we're not gonna give you that money. Um but yeah, we will. Thank you guys very much for listening. Make sure you send us your remembrances and your Ray ray to facts. Is that what we said? I was I was saying Ray Jason artifacts. Ray Jason artifacts. That's it. The pun is on adjacent. Yeah. And I use pun very liberally by the way. Uh if you find yourself listening to this on apple podcasts or Spotify. The best thing that you can do to help this show is click on those little stars and drop us some five star reviews. If even if you feel like this is a two star podcast, give us five stars and then right in your little room, you there? I hate this show. I hope all of these guys die in whatever manner. What manner did Gus die in heart attack? I hope these guys are as dead as leo and Gus, I hope Bad Break with the prostate. Here are their addresses. Anyway, love the show.

Great. So yeah, leave us a rate and review on Apple podcasts and Spotify. Make sure you hit that subscribe button. Check out our advertisers at post fund dot info slash ads. And I think there's only one last thing to say guys, Thanks for the four votes on the post and only one of those was me, Oh, make it five, baby. There we go. We're making it big. We're making it big on that triumphant note. I think we can sign off with a classic everybody loves and we love you. Thanks for listening, nailed it. All right.

1.3 I Wish I Were Gus
1.3 I Wish I Were Gus
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