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How Emotional Wellness Can Help You Lead your Amazing Life. Episode 97

by Dr Orlena Kerek
October 27th 2020
00:18:01
Description

Emotional wellness isn't about living the "perfect life" where nothing bad ever happens.

Emotional wellness is having the tools and self awareness to realise how your emotions are effecting ... More

if I had a miracle cure that would guarantee you and your family living to a ripe old age whilst feeding vigorous fit and fabulous, Would you be interested? Well I do, It's called healthy living hello and welcome to fit and fabulous with me. Dr Alina Carrick. Healthy living for families, made easy Hello and welcome to fit and fabulous with me. Dr Lena Carrick, I hope you're feeling fabulous. We are talking emotional wellness today, but before we dive into emotional wellness, just a quick little announcement, I am doing market research, which sounds super technical and super. Oh, I don't know businesses, but actually it's just an excuse for me to chat to you and find out a little bit about you and what you want, what you'd like to get from this podcast. So I would love to chat to you. Just think of it as a cup of coffee with a friend virtually now, if you would like to chat to me. Well, firstly, thank you very much, because it is really super helpful for me to chat to people.

Secondly, you can either reply to one of my emails if you're on my email list or you can just reach out and email me at Alina at dr Alina dot com. So that's O R L E N A at D R Alina dot com and we will arrange a time to chat and thank you very much on with today's show. Hello, Hello, welcome to fit and fabulous with me. Dr Alina Carrick, I hope that you are feeling fabulous today, I certainly am today. I want to talk a little bit about emotional wellness because people always say to me, oh you always sound so cheerful on the podcast and I want to dive into this idea of emotional wellness a little bit more so what it is and why it's so important. And does it mean that I live in this life where my life is full of daisies and rainbows and unicorns and I can assure you, I'll tell you about my morning that that is not the case. So let's just recap a little bit and think about the place that you want to get to what I call your amazing life, where everything is running on autopilot and I teach people the four healthy pillars, so nutrition, exercise, sleep super, super important.

These are the bits of their nourishing the physical side of your body and it doesn't matter what you read, where you go for your information. Those are the three main things that we're looking at And my Pillar # four is emotional wellness and that includes our emotions, our mindset, how we think of things and I love emotions in that I find them absolutely fascinating because they are really the driver of all of our behavior. We like to pretend that we're logical people and we do things because it's a good idea, but really and truly we don't, we do things because we're driven by emotions. And another really interesting bit is that we actually have quite a lot of control over our emotions although normally it doesn't feel like that, so that's thinking about the structure and the balance now, why do I say that pillar number four is really important. It's really important because it is the foundation of all of those pillars because if you haven't sorted out pillars number four it doesn't matter if you try and make changes, its not going to work, you're going to end up going back to how you were because your mind is just going to have those same habits of thoughts and emotions and thinking about you know how you used to do things and just going back, taking you back, we are creatures of habit and I guess I should say my fifth pillar is habits but this is where we really want to break the cycle and think about how we can do things differently.

Let me tell you a little bit about my morning, I walk my three Children to school Dante who is 10 now and the twins Celestine Sebastian who ate Sebastian always starts the morning going I hate school, I don't want to walk to school and we had a conversation about this and I said I know I know you don't like going school but you know here's the thing, you have to go to school and you can choose you can choose to go to school and enjoy it or you can choose to go to school and not enjoy it and I know that's a really difficult concept for an eight year old to grasp, but it is totally true and he was just like, no, I can't do this. And so until he becomes in that place to be able to listen to what I'm saying, you know, I'm kind of talking to a wall, it's not going to help. So we end up walking to school and at the gate, it was about one minutes past nine because it took Sebastian, 12 whole minutes to put his shoes on. He suffers from anxiety a little bit, you know, like some Children do, he's learning to tie laces, we had to buy shoes with laces.

He's got to the stage where his feet are too big for the shoes with velcro, so we had to buy shoes with laces and obviously that's taking him time, but it did take five whole minutes for him to put his socks on. Um, so you know, we get a little bit pushed sometimes in the morning because I don't always factor in 15 whole minutes or 12 whole minutes for putting shoes on and in the end I had to tie his laces for him because I know that if we don't leave on time, we don't arrive on time. So we get to the gate and I let celeste and Dante go ahead and Sebastian is busy talking to me about um he's got his mask and so I can't quite hear what it is he saying masks here in spain or obligatory. He's got his mask on and he's talking about whether do some people make the words when they say zoo with said and you know my brain is not really aren't focusing on what he's talking about. And as I approached the gate I can see the headmistress talking to a policeman and I'm approached by one of the dads who talks english so most people talk Catalan and spanish and this gentleman likes to talk to me in english and he was saying how selected run across the road the zebra crossing without looking.

And the policeman comes up to me and says celeste has done this and you know you have to take her right to the very gate and here's my heart thinking oh my goodness that child, you know she knows how to cross the road. She just clearly doesn't do it. And you know I'm busy saying yes of course I will take her to the road to the gate from now on. And that really answers that question that she keeps asking, can I walk home entirely by myself. Well there we go, we have that question answered for the next few months at least Sebastian is still going on about this S and this is Ed and I don't know what and you know it's three minutes past nine now and he's supposed to be in the gate by nine o'clock and I'm trying to usher him into the gate and he's just not interested. He's still going on about this s and they said, and my brain is just racing. And I would say underneath as well, I, you know, at the moment my life is a little bit stressful because we are at the stage where we finally got to the stage where we're applying to the bank so that we can do a huge great reform for our house.

We're hoping, hoping, hoping that that is going to go through and they'll say yes. It also means that if that happens, we need to find somewhere else to live for a year. And I have searched the town and there are not houses that are suitable for us to hire for a year. So that's a big question mark. You know, that's sort of in the back of my mind, not that I'm thinking about it, but all of these things add to, you know, that straw that breaks the camel's back. So I going back to my morning, I pushed Sebastian towards the gate and say, look, you just have to go, I'm sorry, we'll talk about this at lunchtime to which he responds, I hate you and runs off breathe. So that was my morning. It's not that my life is all unicorns and peaches and cream and easy going and I think this is an analogy of emotional wellness. It's not that when you have the tools and the understanding of your emotional wellness, it's not that life just happens wonderfully and everything goes right all the time.

Oh, I wish that was true, but it's not true. But what does happen is that you have the self awareness to understand. So I understand all of these things going through my brain and I start walking back from home back home and I know that I'm not feeling 100%, I'm not feeling cheerful. I'm thinking to myself, I need to do this podcast and I'm not in that place to feel cheerful. I can feel frustration with my daughter and slight upset. And part of me is going, it's not just her fault. There's a lot, you know, there's that area of school, there's been a lot of contention about the cars that go past there at school time, but it's still acknowledging that, you know, we have work to do on our part, but all of these things thinking about Sebastian and how I didn't really want to end the morning with I hate you. I know that I don't want to take that personally, but it's still disappointing for me. I want to say goodbye. I love you have a lovely day. I don't want him to be upset going to school all of this just sort of piled on top of me.

And that's when I realized I just have to breathe. So I know what's going on and I think I've got the walk back from school so you can use this time to really get on top of of all of that stuff that is going on in the way that I think and those emotions and really intruded. This is where emotional emotional wellness is is amazing because instead of saying, okay, I'm going to boil and let all of these things tumble and turn and just stewing them and then basically right off my entire morning because I don't want to do a podcast. I don't want to do all of those things that I've got on my list or I'm going to sit there and feel grumpy and not quite, oh my goodness, I can't help people. Which is essentially what I do. So I have that self awareness to understand that I am not in that place, that I need to be in order to create my podcast and all of these things and I use that time and I say different people have different tools. There are so many emotional wellness tools out there.

You just have to pick the ones that work for you and I have some that I use. So one of the things I did was just allow the glitter to settle all of those things that are going on in my brain and just allow it to settle a little bit. Another really funny thing that I did today, I was walking back was I know that if we start making signals with our body, so if you smile with your mouth actually, that helps you to calm down and helps you to feel a little bit happier. Now, one of the things you can do is you can put a pencil in your mouth and they've done experiments to show that if you put a pencil in your mouth you and you know, and that makes your mouth smile up, you feel a little bit happier then if you sort of growl, if that makes sense. Now, I have tried this before working back from walking back from school, but I did find that I felt a little bit stupid, sort of grinning as I walked through town. Now, however, we all wear mosques walking around towns and nobody can see me sort of grinning inanely making this really sort of forced smile into my face. But I did that and I breathe slowly, just let my brain settle so that by the time I get home okay, I can still feel a little bit of that was still the anxiety about the house, I've just spent the last 10 minutes right into the architect, so that's still going on for me, but it's not something that really knocks me sideways and I think this is where emotional wellness really comes in, it's not about creating a life that is perfect and that everything always goes well, what it's about is creating those tools that allows you to deal with life in a way that is constructive and that you can manage that you can go ok, I can pick myself up from this, whatever this problem is, I can manage it and I can move on to the next thing and I can say it's just life, it's just one of those things.

It's not that I'm a bad person, I'm a bad mother, I'm this, I'm that so that in a nutshell is emotional wellness and that's where I want all my clients, everyone who listens to the podcast to get to that understanding of how our emotions impact us and how our emotional life is essentially our internal life. So, I have this analogy which I love of emotional wellness, imagine that you are on a river, a big river and you're swimming in this river. There's loads of currents which are the emotions and those currents throw you from side to side and you're being tossed and turned in this river, perhaps crashing into the bank and then the other bank. Now, imagine yourself on a little raft and that's having the emotional tools, the emotional wellness to be able to go down that river, you still go down the river. But instead of being tossed and turned and thrown from side to side, you have the ability to be able to steer a little bit.

And so it's a much smoother ride and you probably enjoy it a lot more. I hope that just clarifies some of the work that I do with people. I would say that if you want to do this work by yourself, you can do it by yourself. It just takes a little bit longer and that's perfectly fine. But the first step is to become aware of what is going on to become aware of how you think about things and your own emotions and think, okay, so this happened. So I know that mornings are stressful for me, particularly when my Children are doing things like running across the zebra crossing without looking or you know, getting fussy about shoes. I know that that is a stressful time. So that's an area for me to work on now, how can I help you? Well, at the moment I am offering doctor or Lena's wow talks and these are just talks where we chat about where you are, get some clarity on where you are and help you make some steps towards get into the goal that you want to get.

Now, obviously I offer one on one coaching and if you want to talk about one on one coaching at that time, we can definitely do that or we can set another time to do it, but it's not about one on one coaching, it's about just helping you move further. So if you're interested in having one of those chats then just email me at Arlena at dr Alina dot com. So that's O R L E N A at dr Alina dot com and people find them really, really useful just to have a time to chat about your life where you want to go and how you're going to create that. Obviously I am a health coach and I talk about your health more than anything else, that's the thing that interests me. But obviously it can have other implications as well. You can have other goals that aren't health related and it's really useful to just have a talk about those. So if you are interested then just email me and we will set up a time in the next few weeks. And the other thing that I have is my super simple system, Dr a lina, super simple system to healthy living for families and in that it is super simple people say, wow, it's super simple.

Um I just go through the four pillars and explain how the system works and what you need to do to get to your healthy living and loving your healthy living. So, if you would like to sign up for that, it's a little pdf dr Alina dot com slash simple dash system and you can sign up there, put your email in and then you'll be on my email list and here all the amazing things that are going on. So come and have a chat with me. Open invitation, really and truly, it's just an amazing chat that will really help you move the needle, sign up for the simple system and just become more aware, just have a look at your thoughts and your emotions. And I just one last thought for you when you become aware, it's about becoming away with curiosity and thinking all that happens when I do that or when I'm in this situation that happens when I don't want you to do is be judgmental on yourself and start that harsh, critical voice of You can do better and aren't you awful?

It's just curiosity. It's just thinking about how your body and your mind works. So have a fabulous week. Seriously, in all honesty, come and have an amazing chat with me. I would love to chat. Places are limited. I don't have heaps and heaps. I have two or three that I can do every week and for the next three weeks I'm offering those. I don't know if I will continue to offer them throughout the autumn, but if you're interested, come and have a chat. Have a fabulous week. Bye bye. Thank you so much for listening to this podcast episode. Remember you can sign up for dr Alina's simple system to healthy living for families at Dr Alina. D R O R L E N A dot com slash simple dash system. If you have enjoyed this podcast, I ask that you share it with somebody else who would also benefit so that I can reach more people and help more people live healthily. And lastly, if you are interested in working with a coach, then just email me at Alina at dr Alina dot com and we can set up a time to chat.

Absolutely no obligation. I love chatting. So come and chat with me. But by.

How Emotional Wellness Can Help You Lead your Amazing Life. Episode 97
How Emotional Wellness Can Help You Lead your Amazing Life. Episode 97
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