after the family presents food for thought with Pastor Kevin and Vicki close your eyes begin to pray Father is we come to you this morning. And as we get into your word, we ask you Father God that you administer very deeply to our hearts. Father God through your Holy Spirit, Please guide us. Please teach us. Please show us and help us to live our lives according to your word accurately. And so far the let your holy spirit many very deeply into our hearts right now as we hear your word and we look at the world and at our lives through the lens of your word Holy Spirit, show us and change us. We ask you this in jesus name. Amen This morning. I'm going to read from Romans Chapter one.
We actually started reading this last week. Um Gavin read it from the message version and it was very powerful and um sort of everyday poetic language and it shows us what we are living in today. And so an opening. I would just like to start by reading romans chapter one verse 21 to 32 it says this. What happened was this, people knew God perfectly well. But when they didn't treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know at all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand. So God said in effect if that's what you want, then that's what you get. It wasn't long before they were living in a pig, 10 smeared with filth filthy inside and out and all this because they traded the true God for a fake God and worship the God they made instead of the God who made them the God.
We bless the God who blesses us. Oh yes, worse followed, refusing to know God. They soon didn't know how to be humans either. Women didn't know how to be women, men didn't know how to be men, sexually confused, They abused and defiled one another. Women with women, men with men, all lust, no love. And then they paid for it. Oh how they paid for it emptied of God and love. Godless and loveless riches emptied of God and love Godless and loveless riches. Since they didn't bother to acknowledge God, God quit bothering them and let them run loose and then all hell broke loose rampant. Evil grabbing and grasping, vicious backstabbing, they made life hell on earth with their envy, wanton killing, bickering and cheating.
Look at them mean spirited, venomous, fork tongued God bashes, bullies, swagger's insufferable wing bags. They keep inventing new ways of wrecking lives. They ditch their parents when they get in the way. Stupid slummy, cool, cold blooded and it's not as if they don't know better, They know perfectly well, they're spitting in God's face and they don't care worse. They hand out prizes to those who do worse things best. And so this passage talks to us about the fall of society. The first mistake that people made was to fall into a state of unbelief. And this really is a warning to us as believers. You know? We start by doubting and we begin to doubt and we begin to doubt. We doubt God will answer our pre maybe he'll answer other people's press, but eventually we can get to appoint his believers where we doubt that even God will answer other people's present doubt for long enough, and you will fall into a place of unbelief.
We ourselves can treat God like he doesn't exist by the way that we live. The choices that we make truly, we are supposed to live separate to the world to be sanctified, means to be set apart. If we do not desire to be set apart, we will desire to be just like the world in speech, in dance, in dress in the way that we think in our actions where we go and what we spend all our time doing as well as in our opinions. The thing is, this passage tells us everyone knows God, but they don't treat him like he's God or they treat him like he doesn't exist. People like to refuse to worship God. And this results in a life of confusion as a christian the bible if you read the word of God, it tells us we cannot be in a state of confusion if we are a child of God, but when we refuse to know God exists or we refuse to worship him, the result is a life of confusion.
Therefore, there is no sense of direction in our lives As a result, point number two is people then do things they never thought they would do. You know, our creator is our father God. We are made in his image and we were made to have a relationship with him. That is why God created you. If you're wondering what on earth God put you on the earth for he created you to worship him. That this passage tells us when we refuse to know God, we soon lose the ability to know who we are, we lose the ability to be in our humanity. Women don't know how to be women. Men don't know how to be men, people are unhappy with themselves. And they search for change. And it's interesting because when we search for change, you know this, you've had that wobble in your life where you think I need to move, I need to change my address.
I need to move where I work from. I need to change my own body. But the problem is they change all the wrong places. The only change that is needed is to return to God. When we're in that wobble. Were in that messed up state, we have gotten into that place where we have totally looking at ourselves totally looking at our circumstances, totally living in our mess up. We have to return to God to get back into that place where we know who we are, we are his. And point number three. Finally everything falls apart in an upside down world. This week, we are going to look at a documentary that will really minister to your heart and then we'll close off the service eight. Okay, so the Lord God and caused the man to fall into a deep sleep While he was sleeping. He took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with Flesh seven 65.
I was Born a male. I started living as a female when I was 19 years old. Had a sex change when I was 30 years old. I've now been living as a woman for 28 years and I fully regret this. Valody can change genders. It's impossible. It's delusional. It's a mental illness. Okay then the Lord God made a woman from the rib. He had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man once I finally had the surgery, I went, oh this was the wrong thing to do. It was the wrong thing to do to cut off my male anatomy. The man said this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman. For she was taken out of man. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and his united to his wife and they become one flesh. The fact of the matter is That 40% of people who are attempting suicide are people who regret ever changing genders.
Mm hmm. Yeah. Wait My alarm for right there around 4:00 to get up. But usually I wake up beforehand as though God just wakes me up. I read the bible and then I pray and then I try to be still and and listen for his voice. His guidance. Hi, My name is billy burly. I'm living here in long poke in this house and I used to work for Nasa Y'all come on in and let me show you all around the house a little bit. So the weather over here in long poke is exceptional. We don't have air condition over here and so we keep the doors and windows open or a good bit. Throughout the year. I was a skinny little introverted kid had a speech impediment and tried to talk, but a lot of people didn't understand me.
My body told me that I belong with the boys, but my thoughts, my mind was saying and that I belonged with the girls and I didn't know which way to go. I wanted to be like my sisters. I thought I shouldn't be like my sisters and where my older sister started wearing makeup, I started uh playing with some of her makeup in the bathroom. And then in the sixth grade when I was on the summer league swim team and we had a new diving coach. Well, what he would do is when he had a chance, he would play with me, he would found on me and Mhm try to get me to have an erection and just continue to play with me Carmel e.
I'm gonna have to shut you into a room. Can we pause for just a moment. Come on caramel! Let's get you into a room back here. You are going to keep moving around. Come on, quiet. Bad dog, bad dog! Hold one moment, I will try to silence the dog. Dottie, Dottie, go, lay down, lay down, go lay down. First off my name is Renee Jacks, and I'm an author. I've written eight books so far, three of them to do with trans sexuality. I was born male. Uh grew up in a very conservative Republican family. My father was pretty much absent. Um most of my childhood, he was an alcoholic. My mother was mentally ill. The childhood was so troubled and so traumatic that in retrospect I was able to look at it and realized that there was no way I was getting out of childhood normal.
You go and you take a shower and you're there to get clean, but every time I had to take off my clothes, every time I went to bathe. You know, there's no getting around the fact that I wasn't a girl that I was a boy and that really is the one memory that sticks out is just how much I hate. Uh my penis hated my penis. Uh by the time I left high school when I was 18 I was cross dressing most of the time once I was away from school and a couple of years afterwards I ended up in san Francisco, which had a very small gay community And I started, I had made the decision by the time I was about 20 to start living full time as a girl when you start dating people. And if you pass well enough, the whole purpose is are you a transsexual or are you a woman? In my, in my mind I was always a woman I'm wanting to date and I'm not telling the men that I'm dating that I have a penis.
And so when they find out they become violent, they were couple instances where I was beaten very badly. I'm middle Georgia, which I'm a surgeon and urologist and I'm a leader of the belgrade Centre for genital reconstructive urology. Our center is very well known, especially for transgender surgery and we perform all types of transgender surgery. Male to female, female to male or into surgery, possible complications. And one of the very, very actual now reversal surgery in regretful after one of another. One way in, in transgender transformation, we try always to make it a little is to be first very functional and then to be uh more acceptable in aesthetic away view. If you discuss about male to female, our results are much better. Why? Because in one surgery we create a completely Uh normal uh female genital areas and this person is usually can have a sexual intercourse, can enjoy in sexual activity according to our experience.
More than 90% transgender surgery starts to be a very popular for both persons doctors. And you can you can find that too many drugs on this field. Oh, I'm going to make my dignitaries will be different like now and I will be very nice lady or I will be a very strong man or something like this. And after that after some some event like alcohol or drug abuse or something like this. Get away from receives you with a new opportunity of us. The main milestone was uh finding a doctor who would give me the hormones if I get the hormones, female cross sex hormones. Um my life will be perfect. And then you think, well if I can only get my voice, get my male voice up here, then that that will make me, you know just happy. And then you think the next thing is, well if I can get breast implants, um that's all I need, it's never enough.
And finally if you've gone through the therapy and you can convince a doctor to start cutting on you, You go and you have a sex change. I had my sex change in 1990 and in the back of my mind I didn't think I thought it might be like all the other stuff I had done but I was hoping just hoping that that would make me feel complete. Uh huh. I don't want to get in there. So why would you tell your neighbor that you did something that was so stupid. It's absolutely ridiculous to tell the neighbor. Hey, I was a transgender and a D transition pretty embarrassing to go through a gender change. Uh to be that stupid two. Believe that you can actually change genders. You gotta be pretty um ill equipped to handle the truth.
I was born in Los Angeles to a good family, good people. I was taken to my grandmother's house quite frequently as my parents like to go away on the weekend they'd like to camp and fish. I somehow became interested at my grandma's house in cross dressing and I had mentioned something to her about that. So she decided to make me a purple dress and allow me to put it on and wear the dress. I finally got so interested and excited about wearing the dress that I got tired of waiting till I was going to go to grandma's house to secretly cross dress. So I snuck the dress home. Well my mom found the dress and so then dad got upset. I was never allowed to go to grandma's house again. Hi. The first step was I changed my name uh, secretly when I was about 13 years old to crystal. Probably in my late twenties, I started to talk to doctors about hormone therapy and I began to take hormone therapy 35 years ago.
There wasn't much information and we concluded that based on everything that was available at the time at undergoing hormone therapy, Further hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery would be the answer to resolve this quote gender identity disorder. That's when I in april of 1983 I underwent to gender reassignment surgery by dr a Beiber in Trinidad colorado. It was amazing. I felt like the world had been lifted from my shoulders and it was all really wonderful. The only thing I don't know is was it all the medication from five hours of surgery that made me feel this way? Or was it because I had gone through the surgery? Because you're pretty heavily medicated. My uh, female name at the time was Laura Jensen lamp.
Okay, is a nice town. It's quiet and it's small. I was a little bit apprehensive going into surgery, but also a little excited to finally, we're at this point and after going into uh surgery and then coming out of surgery and being in the uh elevator. I asked somebody, is it gone? And they assured me that it was gone. And I was very relieved. I was losing a lot of blood through the surgical site. What they did was kept Puttin Gougne's into my new vagina. But mm, I was excited. I was excited that finally this is done. This is now behind me. So now I'm starting my new life. I never had the full ability to have intercourse because the vagina that they make is so small.
So any time I tried to have intercourse, it was extremely painful and and it wouldn't happen. So, these surgeries are nothing more than plastic surgery. They don't create the phallus, is that they create for female. Two males are really hideous looking. I've had several female to male friends. And you look at it and you just go, oh, God, you paid for that. It's horrible. The sex change didn't solve my discomfort. The doctors who were honest will say that the gender dysphoria is always there. And it's because the confusion is it's not so much, it starts out being about your anatomy. But really what you don't like yourself being a freak in society being, I call it in my book, a social pariah is not the way you want to live.
The isolation drives you to despair. And so yeah, suicide is a big, big thing. Maybe you can remember that day when you thought about committing suicide and probably you stop yourself Yesterday. I don't know. Um, the first time was right before the surgery in 1990. And the only thing that kept me from doing it quite honest is I'm a coward at heart just was so deeply disturbed at the time I wanted in my life and somebody I knew had some cocaine. So I attempted to use it to kill myself. And it obviously it didn't work. But uh my heart was pounding so hard after I took it that I thought it was going to come out of my chest. Mm I feel safer having done that and not staying in one place very long where people might find out what I do and who I am.
I don't want people to know that around me. I don't want to be um, outed by the people around me. I was leaving church one day on sunday 34 years ago now. And I got an email. It said I'm ready to commit suicide. Can you help me? And it was a transgender who had lived the life, transgender life for two or three years and was totally discouraged with it. I was actually exchanging information and talking with him on some level up to five times a day to keep him from committing suicide. He eventually restored his life. He did the transition back. This is my entire office right here in my computer, my desk, my chair, My slippers. And this is where I sit and work. I don't need any more than this. Um, everything that I do is right here on the computer or on the phone talking to people. I've d transition now for 25 years a little longer.
And so it was when ID transition that uh everything began to make sense to me. And when I realized that how important it was to de transition to become psychologically emotionally and socially a healthy person that I wanted others who wanted to de transition to have a way to come back to that same experience that I have and if they have regret and want to de transition, I have built a website for them. It's exchange regret dot com. How are you doing good? Doing good. How about you? And yeah, we're doing we're doing good billy contacted me by email like most people do and we began to exchange information and I talked to him on the phone. His story was just like mine. Um he was sexually abused. I was sexually abused and that was kind of the trigger point of changing genders. Come on kids, come on, come get your clothes on, come on, come on honey.
seven years after transitioning to a woman, a woman, I started thinking, okay I've been doing this for seven years now. My problem should have gone away from by now but they hadn't. And I actually had more problems at that point. Another problem is just trying to pass, trying to do my hair just right, trying to do my makeup. Just right. Trying to look just right to where people would not be uncomfortable because you can see when people identify you as being transgendered. I was like, this isn't life. Uh, nothing has really changed. I'm still struggling. I was better off as I was before the surgery before the hormone treatment. So it was at that 0.5 years after the surgery there about that I started to have thoughts about changing back.
That's my student id from LSU. And for now it's swimming at LSU. I had a really big adam's apple heavy brow ridge, a pretty big jaw. This is the idea after I had Srs surgery and then when I was transitioning back to mail in Louisiana, that's the driver's license. I got I had a lot of other pictures from that period. But one day when I was sitting in my office looking at the pictures of me back during this seven year period, 7, 8 years as being female. It was so discouraging that I wasted so much of my life in this particular period doing all of this. That just in the state that I was in, I raised all of the pictures that I had off of the computer and destroyed the pictures of me from that period.
To try to erase that period of my life with God's help, I went through the change and I went back to being male. So I went through that surgery and on the bag side of it, I was in so much pain and so much discomfort and read a gret it then surgery more if than the first srs surgery that I had. And then when he took the bandages off of my stomach to show me the skin graft, I was almost horrified at it. To me, it was gross. But it was by that surgery and the paperwork that the surgeon gave me saying, uh, when I had the surgery done, initially, he gave me the paperwork and said, okay, I've been surgically changed to mail. I'm 60 years old. There's no reason for me. After a lifetime of being in transition to go and start living dressing as a man anymore.
Um, there's there's there's no, there's no there's no benefit in it. But there is a benefit in my standing before an audience of young kids in college who are considering this path and saying to them, okay, I'm the real deal. I started living when I as a woman when I was 20 I've lived 40 years of my life. I've had breast augmentation. I've had genital surgery. I've had 40 years of hormones. All of it has not made my life any better. It's never solved the problem. You break your left leg, you go into a doctor's office and under the transsexual rule of medical treatment, they say this is your new normal and we're going to break your right leg to I think it's safe to say that when somebody has been crossed dressed and affirmed physically abused and sexually abused, that psychotherapy is the most needed therapy, not hormones and surgery.
When I met Rachel, I was already legally a man again. Yeah. Hey baby darling, how was your day? Her and her daughter came over to my house for fellowship of christian athletes meeting. And it was there that I first met her And that was in 2010. And from there I invited her for coffee and I didn't know what that meant. So I asked one of my classmates, what does that mean? One of my younger classmates. So, um, so she said, well, that's a safe way for asking for a date for trying to meet up with somebody I shared with her my path and what had happened and how I was. And at that time she said, okay, let's be friends. We shared the same interests like what I was saying, we both like doing especially swimming, but triathlons, we liked hiking.
I don't know, I can't. I know he will say he remembers one time we went on a hike and we sat down for a rest and on a bench and I just kind of sat close to him and put my head on his shoulder and it was at that point I knew our relationship was changing and that it was okay for me to start pursuing Rachel in a romantic way and I did. True. Excellent. You're good. Yeah. The intimacy the between Rachel and me, with me being surgically altered, I cannot come to an orgasm. Um So Rachel and I we enjoy intimacy. Isn't that wonderful? Fresh air? Fresh air is good. It is beautiful. And I'm praying for a little bit more rain. Because if you notice up here, the green is starting to turn back to brown. He asked me pretty soon after a few months if if I'd marry him and I think I thought about it for not too long, maybe a week or two and responded, yes, my older daughter said it probably best she wanted.
They wanted me to be happy. I knew I was gonna change back. But the big moment came when I was praying and uh the Lord jesus appeared to me as a vision in the bear as though I could touch him just like I could touch anybody here. And he came and reached down to me with his hands and picked me up and said, you're now safe with me forever. And it was at that moment that my life changed in a split second. Look at this, I'm healthy. Uh many of the people who have gone through this before me are dead. They're alcoholics. They're still struggling with their identity and I'm alive and well and healthy and married for 21 years to my wife. Uh that's that's redemption restoration And I'm helping other people.
What other thing that's better in life when you're reaching out and helping other people with their life. Mm. Mhm. Do you, babe? I love you. Did you taste it? It is still pretty. It's still pretty tasty. I am so happy. I am the way I am now. Even though I have problems, I have a choice to let my problems I burdened me or to look up to see each day as a beautiful day. And just to enjoy life in his hands. He's got you and me, baby in his hands. He's got you and me, baby in his hands. He's got the whole world in his hands. Some decisions are not reversible. When we make decisions that go against the word, there are often life long consequences and they can sometimes be eternal.
But right on that road to hell stands the cross of calvary. The precious blood of jesus. Christ always pleads for us that all who turned to him and repent will be saved. I needed that cross. I still do. We are the walk in condemnation and we walk or we walk in forgiveness. Just as small doubts can lead to more doubts and eventually can lead to unbelief, which leads us to a road of eternal damnation. We can become more and more deceived as a result the same. The blood of jesus does exactly the opposite. We are instantly cleansed and forgiven. And as we walk the christian faith daily, we become more cleansed, it's a continuous cleanse. The cross points us to the love of God, the resurrection of jesus christ points us to the power of God.
In closing this morning, I want to remind us because in the passage already in the beginning it speaks of how these people live in a pig pen. It was a story in the gospel where jesus told about a practical son who left his family to go and live in a distant land and eventually he lost everything that he had. The spiral had gone all the way to the bottom and it was in that place in the pig pen where he, the bible says came to his senses and he cried out to God this morning as we look at that, you know what a powerful, powerful picture of how we as human beings can be deceived and we keep believing and I'm sure as you watch that you have that stuff in your life where you thought, if I can just have that, if I can just get that, if I can just be there, then I will be happy and we get it and we realize we're not happy and that is the deception of satan that we will go to the next step and the next step and the next step and it may not be in a gay relationship, but sexual immorality can be like that being slaves to alcohol or to drugs.
it is the same. And the point is, unless we encounter the cross of jesus christ. If you look at those men, they all came to a point of repentance. They all came to a point where they understood the way God created them originally is the way they should have been. And I want to speak to us this morning, the way God created us originally is the way we are meant to stay. That is the way we are meant to be. That is the place where we fulfill our purpose. And so this morning, as we go into an ultra caller, just want everyone to close their eyes and I'm speaking, I'm speaking to you, I'm speaking to us. If you've gotten into a place where you realize you have lived as though God does not exist this morning, I want to give us an opportunity to return to him. I want to tell you that unless we repent and it's as simple as that, we don't need to change ourselves.
We need to get to the one who can change us from that place of mess up Brokenness and pain and maybe you've been living a life so far away from God in your sin. I want to tell you that is the only reason why Jesus went to the cross to save us from our sin, jesus went to the cross so that he could bridge the gap between us and a Holy God. The distance between us and God is that he is holy. But Jesus came to bridge that gap so we could get to a holy God and I want you to understand as you've watched that this morning, God has made a way for you to get back to him and God will help you to live a life that will bring him glory. I don't know if you saw the part in the on the video where they are sitting together under the cross. Isn't that a picture of what the cross of jesus christ does for us? He truly restores us.
He truly fixes up what's actually impossible in our human standard in our human way here on earth, it is impossible to fix up the standards of mess up. We can take ourselves too. But the cross of jesus christ does a supernatural work that he can get us out of the mess up and he can restore us, only God can do that. And so this morning, what ever situation you find yourself in? If you want to give your life to jesus christ, perhaps you want to recommit yourself? I would love to pray that prayer of salvation with you. If you want to commit your life to jesus today, won't you raise your hand. We're gonna pray together. If you have it site, please raise your hand. If you are online, please message us so we know to be in contact with you but there are hands in the auditorium Thank you I see your hands. Is there anyone else Anyone else? Thank you. I see that hand and I see that hand. Anyone else. Is there any thank you? I see that hand.
Is there anyone else this morning? You saying Lord, I want to commit myself to you. I come to you. I want to repent and I know you will save me from the mess up I'm in If that's you, thank you, I see your hand. If that's you won't you raise your hand, it's actually you just surrendering to God and saying Lord here I am, thank you. I see that hand, If that's you this morning we're going to prayer. When I remind you at this site, you can raise your hand because the leader there will actually acknowledge you. And if you're online um respond email us. The email will come up at the end of the service but actually responded, we will be in contact with you but we're gonna pray together right now. I want you to pray this with all of your heart. Let's put our hands on our hearts, right hand on our hearts and say father, God, I come to you and I surrender my life to you. Father, forgive me for the mess up that I found myself in.
I thank you that I can come before the cross and lay myself down and allow your blood to wash me clean jesus. I believe in you. I receive you as my Lord and as my savior and I thank you that today I am a child of God Father I lift up every person to you this morning who has responded for whatever reason I thank you father that you are such a holy God and you are our creator, you made us, you made our bodies, you know us intimately. You know what we are thinking and as we have responded this morning Father God you are able to heal us. You are able to help us in exactly that thing that we have cried out to you thank you father. That addictions are broken. That we are not a slave to anything but we are Children of the most high God.
And I pray father God that your holy spirit would begin to do a powerful mending fixing work. Only you can restore father God and we thank you that this morning you haven't just restored one person but you have restored generations as a result and we thank you and praise you for your goodness and your mercy. Father, we love you, we worship you, we honor you and we praise you and we pray this in the precious name of jesus christ. Our Lord and savior Amen. Yeah, no longer broken. I'm walking a stone spoken word evil overthrown. I'm walking in victory mm I'm destination is heaven been leaving for so much more.
Heaven use everlasting the place that I call? Oh Mhm. Okay. Mhm Yeah, yeah, jesus the one and the only kim doesn't for Heaven, I'm going to heaven is real.
It's not a thing carrying on a limited basis. The basis I'm gonna win this race is marking. Yes, I'm on the team working improper. Some jumping in your Holy Spirit is guiding me into infinity. Heaven is our destination. Jesus is the only one. Heaven is our destination. Jesus is the only one. Yeah. Uh huh.