Free to Be Mindful Podcast

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Ep: 46 Consult a Counselor

by Vanessa De Jesus Guzman
October 29th 2021
00:05:23
Description

The “Consult a Counselor Series” is a segment of the Free to Be Mindful podcast, which answers parenting related questions to help caregivers live life mindfully. Today’s question: “Why don’t peopl... More

Hi and welcome back to the consultant counselor series in the series, I answer parenting related questions so that you can be more present and at ease with your child and live life mindfully today's question is why don't people understand my special needs kids around holidays like Halloween? I empathize a lot with this question and I will share with you that before being a mom, I would give side eye and raise my eyebrows when I saw kids misbehaving or what I thought was misbehaving when it was just that I didn't understand and took things for face value as opposed to looking at things a little deeper. So instead of answering this parent question directly, I'd like to take this opportunity to really educate other people on what having a special needs child dislike. And first and foremost, this is with the understanding that no two Children are the same special needs or without special needs, but perhaps having the special insight will help people understand how to look at special needs Children differently.

And this can be true even for parents who do not have special needs Children themselves. So in terms of Halloween, specifically, when it comes down to costumes, costumes can be quite uncomfortable, itchy, the whole mask thing, it can be challenging for any child, especially for Children who are on the spectrum or kids who have sensory issues. So just be mindful that when you see a child who perhaps doesn't look dressed up, it may be because of different types of sensory issues having to do around costumes and or mass some Children may look like they're having tantrums on Halloween and it can be confusing because it's supposed to be this fun holiday. However, think about all of the different auditory and visual stimuli that we take in. That's different on Halloween from every single day. There's a lot of different costumes, a lot of different mass. We're hearing ghosts and scary things as we go door to door. There's just a lot of different things that impact the child that is different from our day to day living in terms of trick or treating or even trunk or treating.

Be mindful that not all Children have the same physical capabilities. So if you have stairs to your home, kids who have gross motor difficulties may find that very challenging. Also, just waiting online and being patient going from home to home or perhaps from car to car at a trunk or treat can also be quite a challenge for Children who have various types of disabilities. Sometimes we leave bowls out for kids to make their own type of choice. Or we present a child with a bowl with a lot of different types of candy inside that can be over stimulating and overwhelming for kids who may have a hard time making decisions special needs or not. So just be mindful of that as you have a variety of candies or chocolates to choose from and maybe Hold out two or 3 in your hands so that the choice election can be a little easier. Also, it's natural to expect kids to say trick a tree or thank you once they come upon your door or car or wherever it is that perhaps you're handing out candy.

However, kids may have speech delays. They may have selective mutism where they just may be overwhelmed. So sometimes it's not that a child is being rude. It's just that it's too much to remember it all in between the stairs and the mass and the costume and everything that's going on with them at the same time. And finally we also expect with saying thank you that some kids may look happy to receive this free candy. But remember that some Children have limited facial expressions or they may have severe allergies or diabetes or celiac or some other type of something that perhaps they know they can't eat even the candy that they are receiving but they're just going through the motions because everybody else is doing it. So I hope that shed some light on different types of situations that Children and families may live that perhaps you're different from your own. So whether it is giving out candy or walking in front or behind your around a child who perhaps is having a hard time or it doesn't seem like they're enjoying themselves.

I asked you to just please have an open mind because every child and every family struggles with different types of things. And perhaps Halloween is one of these things. Remember that patience, understanding and compassion for all kids of all ages goes a very long way, especially on days like Halloween. So I hope this helps if you think that a mom, dad or caregiver friends can also benefit from this. Be sure to share it with them and subscribe to the free to be mindful podcast so that you don't miss the next one. And if you have any questions for the consulting counselor series, you can always email me at hello at free to be mindful dot com or dM me on instagram at counselor V to jesus. And remember in a world where we are free to be anything that we want to be, we are always free to be mindful. Thanks so much and catch you next time.

Ep: 46 Consult a Counselor
Ep: 46 Consult a Counselor
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