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Confidence to Overcome Fears

by Vanessa De Jesus Guzman
September 13th 2021


The lack of confidence can hold us back from doing hard things and overcoming our fears. This episode of the Free to Be Mindful Podcast discusses how mindset, body a... More

you're listening to the free to be Mindful podcast which provides bite sized tips for busy parents, educators and anyone working with kids. These real talk conversations focus on mindful living, mental health and personal growth, helping all to learn, grow and inspire with mindfulness in mind. I'm your host Vanessa to jesus Guzman educator licensed professional counselor, entrepreneur and mom. I'm passionate about helping folks live life with peace of mind and ease of heart while not losing their well, you know, here we go. Have you ever tried to practice meditation but have no idea if it's working or even if you're doing it right, wouldn't it be awesome if there was something to let you know when you're in the zone to let you know to do more of that? Well, there is something that does exactly that it's called muse muse is a brain sensing headband that helps you find more calm, sharper focus and better sleep.

It does this by measuring your brain waves and lets you know exactly when you're in a meditative seat. It's an awesome tool for kids and for adults alike. You can get 15% off any muse product by clicking the link in the show notes below. Check them out at choose and again, don't forget to use that link for 15% discount at checkout. Hi and welcome back to the free to be mindful podcast. I hope that you're feeling good looking good and doing better in this world than you were yesterday. So my friends, guess what if you're an iphone user or if you listen to podcasts on Itunes or whatever that app is on the iphone or on the ipad, you no longer subscribe to podcast. You actually follow podcast, which is interesting just like how you would follow someone on social media. So if you listen to podcasts on there, make sure that you follow me now. We say instead of subscribe.

However, if you listen to podcasts on anything else, deter I heart, radio, Spotify, Pandora, Alexa, google anything. It's still subscribe I believe. So I greatly appreciate if that is the way that you found me and if it is, I would even more appreciate if you took a second right after the short episode and left me a review. It would really be beneficial not only for me to know exactly what you appreciate and what you like about the podcast, but it would also be helpful for those who have not yet found the podcast and look up reviews before they listen in. So they could know if this is meant for them. So thank you in advance for taking the time out to do that and when you do I shout you out on the podcast. So thank you now for what you're going to do later. So the school year has already started I think across the nation, all kids are in schools and all educators are in schools and I wanted to share a question that one of the kiddos that I work with Actually asked me right before school started.

So this kid all asked What is your number one piece of advice for starting school? And my number one piece of advice, not only for starting school, but also for starting a new job for how to do things, when things feel hard for trying something brand new, whether it is a hobby, a new doctor's office, um going to a new organization, anything new in your life, my number one piece of advice is having confidence within yourself and yes, it sounds super easy and I think really we make it be this insurmountable type of thing when it is a little easy, however, we need to make sure that we know the exact steps on how to feel more confident and oftentimes we've heard the phrase fake it till you make it. And when I tell a lot of the kids and adults that I work with, it's not quite faking it, but it's really psyching your brain out so that you start speaking confidently and acting confidently and walking confidently so that your brain will eventually catch up.

So I have a couple of tips for you on how could help you and then in turn your child or the kids that you work with and how to become more confident in life. But first, why is this even so important? Our brains are set up and half the experience of looking out for negative things first and it doesn't all mean that we're Debbie downers, but what that means is that we are used to looking out for danger because it's really like survival of the fittest. So thank caveman days, if we didn't look out for those lines and tigers and there isn't for whatever have you, then we would not have survived and throughout life it's also the same. So being that our brains are always looking for the negative first, we kind of have to prime it to shift to look for the positive, but we also have to work on the way that we show up in life because if we look for positives awesome, but if we don't feel positive within ourselves, then there is a dissonance there that doesn't quite work together to help us go in the direction which we want to go in and that is in this case being more confident.

So when our brains finally catch up with how we're showing up in the world, we have the courage to really overcome things that are sometimes hard and when we really think about it, everything at one point or another was unknown, all of the events that we go through, everything that we now have overcome was at one point unknown or at one point challenging. At one point we thought, oh I can't do that or I haven't done that yet and in order to try something new, that's where the confidence and the courage comes in so that we can try something new and more often than not surprise ourselves in what we're trying and this works in the face of adversity. This also works in the face of anxiety. So sometimes it is nerve racking to try new things, but when we do, we can prove to ourselves that we indeed can overcome some things that at one point we saw challenging, maybe we'll continue to see them as so, or maybe our mindset will shift and we'll think it's not as hard as I thought it would be and these are conversations that we want to have with our kids when they're entering a new year in school or a new level of school, whether it be kindergarten, middle school, high school college, but there are also things that we can tell ourselves, as I stated at the beginning, when we try new things when we go on a first date or when we go on an interview or when we're meeting up with a friend in person that we haven't seen in a long time or when we're going to try out a new organization or hobby, we too must also have the courage to try new things because if we don't then we kind of stay stagnant and then we don't grow as people and of course, you know, my personal motto is to learn than to grow and then to use everything that you've acquired in the learning and growing stages to inspire others.

So here we go with some tips to boost confidence within ourselves and again, not only for kids, but also for yourselves. So I'm really being on positive self talk and sometimes we have to again psych our brains out and speak out loud to ourselves or out loud in our minds so that our brains can catch up with what we're saying, so using positive statements like I've got this or I can do this, or this may be a little bit challenging, but I'm going to conquer it or I don't have it now, but I will, I don't have it yet. So just talking positively to yourself goes a long way. The other thing is to remember self compassion, which means that if you try something and it didn't go as well as you expected it to remember to have grace with yourself and then to have the courage to try something again, something else that I always emphasize is trusting yourself that you can do new things and that you can do hard things.

We all have an inner intuition that kind of speaks some worries and fears to us sometimes, but that also tells us, you know what yeah, this is scary, this is new, this can be anxiety provoking, but you've got this, just give it a try and when we listen to that part of the shoulder, we can see that we can conquer new things, We also want to remember all of the things that have gone well up to this point, All of the things that we have conquered up to this point. So we want to remind ourselves of moments that we have been proud of ourselves, of things that we have already done, so that we can remind ourselves that we do have the ability and the courage to try something new. And after we work on the mindset sometimes working on our bodies also help in feeling more confidence. So the first is as simple as having good posture. We give off completely different vibes to the outside world when we are standing up nice and tall versus when we are slumped over, the vibes are completely different and again we want to do things and think things so that our brains will catch up with us.

So the more that we look more confident or look the part the more that we will eventually be the part and sometimes, yes, that can be scary. So reminding ourselves of mindful breathing techniques can really work on slowing down our heart rate and staying more calm so that we can stay present in our physical bodies and in ourselves emotionally, so that we have the courage to try new things and to feel more confident. Another tip that you can do when working with your body is a power pose. So, think your legs spread apart slightly, your hands on your hips can really give a more powerful vibe than again, your shoulders slumped over and turning more inward when we practice, even if it's slightly kind of hands on hips, even if its transition from one movement to another, it really screams confident to those who are looking at us, but also to our minds.

So we discuss mindset, we discuss body and the rest is what we are actually able to do, and that is being prepared to take on new things. So if you're going on a new interview, be prepared for that interview in the information and knowledge that you need to know before going in, if you're going on a first date, be prepared in practice in front of a mirror, practice having conversation and even speaking points that you may touch upon being prepared and practicing prior to trying something new whenever possible, really boost our confidence because we've already had somewhat of a dress rehearsal before going on the actual stage, so to speak. And something that I myself do when I bring the day to a close every single evening is expressing gratitude, looking for the positive things that have happened throughout the day, even if they are super small gives you a boost of knowing that the next day can be just as good or the next day can also bring those small little things that eventually amount to the big things.

So I always express gratitude, you can do it within yourself or to a higher power or whatever it is that you feel most comfortable with. So that again you're priming your brain to see the positives in the day. So that you can slowly become more positive yourself and in turn become more confident. So just practicing these tips, does that mean that we're never ever going to get worried or scared or just fearful of trying something new? Absolutely not. That's all part of life. But practicing these things and keeping these things in mind really will make a difference when we are faced with challenges. The main thing is knowing that we can overcome a challenge even if it's not the first time, the second or the third time. But the first step has to be at least in trying and knowing that we can try something new. Can give us the boost and confidence that we can eventually overcome with enough practice. So whether it is again starting the first day of school a new level of school or anything new, know that you have the confidence within yourself to be successful if you just give things a try.

So right now, regardless of where you are or what you're doing, take a breath in through your nose and exhale out through your mouth and working on mindset and positive thoughts. I welcome you to repeat after me out loud or in your mind. I am powerful. I am beautiful. Mm. I can do hard things. I have enough. I do enough and I am enough. Have a great week. I hope you enjoyed this week's show. It would mean a ton. If you took this moment to review the free to be mindful podcast on the platform, you catch your favorite shows that quick and easy act lets me know what you enjoy and it helps others find the podcast too.

And of course, don't forget to subscribe so you can listen along next week. In the meantime, I welcome you to catch me on social media at counselor V to jesus. And as always remember in a world where you are free to be anything that you want to be, you are always free to be mindful. Catch you next week.

Confidence to Overcome Fears
Confidence to Overcome Fears
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