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Ep. 27 - Insights And Hope From The "Messy Middle" - An Interview With Elizabeth Miner

by Hearts Rise Up
June 15th 2020
Elizabeth Miner, successful Author, Life and Business Coach, Speaker and Founder and CEO of Thrive This Day, shares insights and hope from her own journey from poverty to self-sufficiency. In her conv... More
All right, thank you for tuning your heart's in for another episode of the Hearts Rise up podcast. I'm carol chapman, your host along with my co host and Siri and Concetta antonelli. We share our own personal experiences, tips and strategies along with powerful stories and compelling insights from guest interviews. We're here to inspire and empower your conscious evolution, help you tap into your inner wisdom and rise to your heart centered higher self. Together we can rise to a higher level of consciousness, an elevated state of being and experience more love, joy and freedom. Mhm Well, hello again and welcome back to the Hearts Rise up podcast on today's show.

I have the pleasure of interviewing Elizabeth minor after overcoming adversity, circumstances and expectations. Elizabeth rose from poverty to become a senior corporate paralegal and one of the most iconic companies in the world today. Elizabeth is the founder and ceo of thrive this day. She inspires people to challenge their ideas of what is possible in their lives. Elizabeth is an author, speaker, international business and life coach who believes impossible is simply an invitation to challenge expectations. Elizabeth, welcome to the show. Thanks so much carol. I am so pleased to be here with you. It is just awesome to have you on the show and I must say that I love what you believe in. It's like a philosophy impossible is simply an invitation to challenge expectations and and you know in essence that's sort of what our podcast is all about and particularly in light of the crisis right now that the world is going through as we're recording this with the coronavirus, we really do need to believe in ourselves and our ability to rise up and challenge what is possible.

So I'd love for you to share a little bit more of your perspective on that and how you have applied in your life. And then I think we can find a jumping in point for you to share more of your life, experience what things you've been through and the wisdom gained as a result, that will help inspire our listeners. Yes, sounds great. Thanks again for allowing me to share really what's been on everybody's mind these days about, you know, we are not currently in our new normal, we're currently as we're recording this in the middle the messy middle, I like to call it of this health crisis going across the globe, right? And and so everybody is sitting there and trying to plan about what our new normal will look like and just trying to figure out things so that they can move forward and you know, you and I just spoke briefly right before we hit record to talk about, you know what it's okay to just hit pause, possibly for a moment and really kind of just relax into this current moment first and foremost and just kind of let it be and spend a moment or two grieving of the life that we used to be in that was normal and then start to figure out for our own purposes what's important and so that we can decide how we want to move forward.

However this looks when we get to the other side. So I think challenging expectations in this moment is really struggling not to have expectations. And and that can be a struggle because we're just normally looking at what we presume the future will look like when we are really called to understand, we really have no idea what the future looks like, don't you think? Absolutely. And I think it's so appropriate when you say that we're all struggling to not have expectations because that's that's not a normal thing for people as human beings, we we tend to have expectations and I think once we get on the other side of this this will certainly be a new normal, We're not sure exactly what that will be. And so at this point it's hard to have any expectations about it, but I think it is a time for us to just take a step back and just reflect on where we're at as opposed to what that next step will be because right now we're all in this together and we need to, you know, write it out exactly and we're all in this together, but we're all in this together individually and I think that that gives us this beautiful opportunity to really look inward and and I know all across the internet there are a lot of life coaches really encouraging people to, you know, take this moment to look inward and make a decision on what's important to you as you step out of this.

And maybe my encouragement would be to the listeners today is to spend less time about what our future going to look like and spend a little more time Architect Ng based on what's critically important to yourself, what you want the future to hold in it, what elements do you want to take out of this, this isolation, this social distancing and what do you want to bring with it into what becomes our new normal? And I think that this is a beautiful opportunity to challenge expectations because in the moment there are very few expectations of us right now, right, our expectations are to stay at home mm hmm. Like like okay, gotcha, gotcha on that one. Exactly. And so how do people do that when you say Architect Ng basically, how do people do do that, where they're trying to balance the anxiety and there's so much information that they are being fed, you know, in the media and not taking in too much consumption.

How do people balance that and get things in perspective? It's a really tough challenge in these moments, especially where we have that 24 7 news coverage and and the news coverage is pretty darn grim. Don't you think? I mean, you know, we're just getting death numbers and such. And it was interesting when I had a discussion with my son, I said, you know, why aren't we really promoting the number of recovered cases? These are things that actually provide more hope. And that's not to discount the numbers of people that are dying from this. And that's a horrible thing. And I'm not trying to discount that. But as we move forward, you know what, looking at the positive spin about the number of recovered cases being almost quintuple, the number of deaths. So there is hope, there is the understanding that what we're doing is helping save lives.

And I think that's first and foremost, a way to reshape perspective and And helped quell some of that anxiety. And the other part I used to teach a class and clearly it might change now. And it was called living your 9-12 life. And it was really based on the historic event that many of your listeners, I'm sure have lived through of 9.11 right? And and with such an amazingly poignant event and time, it brought rushing to the surface what was clearly important to us. Right? And so I think this is the opportunity to use this time and we have a longer drawn out period of time to really reflect on what is important to us. Is it important to be part of the P. T. A. That mm to the boob pop up and you know, all these organizations that were all involved in? Is that where our importance lies?

Or is it in family? And is it in your phew, places that are feeding you in these times of trauma and anxiety? Do you have a a number of people that you turn to? Are those the people and the relationships that you have been giving time to? Or is this something that upon further reflection, you understand, I'm not giving the time to those things that are actually sustaining me in times of struggle. So maybe I can do some change in that maybe I have let work get in the way of, of spending time with my Children whom I am really enjoying, even though it may be too much in this moment of stress, but you know, rekindling some of that time that you've lost during commuting and such and and maybe seeing how you can reframe that going forward, How you can change some of your scheduling, how many these you're involved in and organizations you're involved in so that you can really, as I said, architect, what you take what you what you let in to your day's going forward.

Does that help give you more boundaries around that? Yeah, I think so. And I think it's really about asking yourself the right questions. Always. Right. Yeah. I mean, if you ask yourself the right questions of, you know, what is important to you and how do you want to feel? How do you want to live your life? One of the things that have meaning and heart for you versus just going through the motions that we all seem to tend to do. It's very easy once we get in our routines and hopefully that won't be the case once we get on the other side of this, that everyone will just go back to the routine, because what will we have learned from it? Right, Right. And I think you bring up a really good, important point about how do you want to feel? And it's not only that point, but how can you make more of that feeling in your life? And so it's taking that opportunity and maybe it's even taking the opportunity for those who do have families or kids to spend time with their kids getting their kids to think about that as well and as a family talking through what is important and I love, you know, the concept that you were talking about earlier about the people that are recovering and what we're learning from that and the experiences that they've been through.

I mean, just some of the people that I have seen some of it in the media, some, some people who have recovered and they shared their story how how tough it was, but we need to understand and learn more of that and get a better perspective on it. Yeah, I agree. And I think that coming out of this, the story sharing for everyone, I think is going to be really important, both in learning, but also in healing, what we have now is a global scar that's forming that were all bonding together through this is a shared experience. No matter whether you've you've lost somebody, whether you've actually encouraged the illness itself, whether you've watched somebody incur the illness or whether you've just witnessed through you know, social media or such or whether you've just sheltered in place to avoid getting this illness, we all have this one common space and we are all going to need to heal from this really traumatic event in our lives and as young as infants all the way to the elderly, we're all going to have this shared opportunity to bond together and really come together as one humanity and one story and 11 healing and I think that opportunity is huge for us as a, as a world.

Yeah, I love that one story, one healing and the opportunity for us as a world and you know, I think it's timely at this point to maybe talk a little bit about where you're at in your life, because this has thrown significant for lack of a better term wrenches into your life and your lifestyle and the way that you have lived your life the last several, many years, would you like to share a little bit about that? Yeah, this is part of the messy middle and I'm actually living what I'm preaching, right? Yeah. Well for those of you who don't know, I'm what's called a digital nomad or a location independent worker. And for the last four years I've been living abroad in various locations, traveling the world meeting and putting myself into other cultures just to learn how they deal with certain things and just how they go about their daily routines and their lives. And a lot of that is stuff that helps me create more broad ranging solutions for people as I'm doing life and business coaching.

So I was just a couple of weeks ago in Colombia, Living there in my location that I was planning to be at for quite some time and I saw borders around the world closing down and I thought I wanted to be in the US where the majority of my family lives. And so I within I think 15 hours made a decision from hanging up the phone with my son to thinking about maybe I'm not going to stay in Colombia. Maybe I'm going to go back to being on a plane and on my way to austin texas, which is where I am currently and now for the foreseeable future as travel as we know, it may not be the same. There may very well be a lot more restrictions that will be in place in the in the coming months and possibly years. So because I don't know what that looks like. I sit without expectations and try to decide what is important for me and how do I move forward while still maintaining as much of the lifestyle that's important to me and yet understanding that I'm going to have to do that in a different way.

Any insights at this point, that revelations for yourself. Yeah, well, I mean the first and foremost is dealing with what I believe to be the facts from my life. And so as these are just still developing, I think this is a, is a good framework for everyone, right? So we take the facts that we do know and what we do know is that we don't know enough about this disease to understand how these shelter in place orders and how these border closings are going to open up over time. And because there's so much that we don't know, I'm making the presumption that will be in the United States for quite some time the foreseeable future. And so with that I have taken that little knowledge that I have and said, okay, if I'm going to be in the United States, what fits my my needs in terms of mental health for environment, in terms of proximity to family, in terms of where I feel like I can do the most in my business in terms of making my network connections by serving people.

And so that's what I'm in the process of doing at this point, is trying to figure out what does that look like and what locations can I find in the contiguous United States that might suit that. So that's kind of my process and I'm taking those things that I know to be of utmost important to me based on my values and based on my own personal needs, things that make me happy is something that's very important to me not to be in the cold. So that's going to factor into my decision and you know, superficial to some. But for me it's really critical. I know this about me. I'm not trying to change me. I'm trying to find how I can move forward with these known things. My family is a high value. That's something I need to move forward in my future. Knowing that proximity to family, ease of getting to them is really important. So I will not be leaving the unit us in this moment until you know, we really have a handle on on how this this virus takes hold over the next year or two.

So I'm choosing to stay even if borders open up, I'm choosing to stay in a place where I'm, you know, able to get to my family quickly if I if I feel the need, isn't it interesting how things circumstances can shift our perspective. We're kind of on a for lack of a better term a trajectory. You know, this is like you were on this digital nomad trajectory for, you know, the last four years and and you're just really going with the flow right? Yeah. I was I had chosen not to be on the other side of the World Bali Thailand Fiji all those areas that I'd love to explore. But I have a father who's 82, I have a stepmother who's 75 just turned and I have, you know, my sister's on this side of the world. My thought process was if something tragic happened, I did not want to have two days worth of travel to get back to my family.

So intentionally, I have been staying on this hemisphere. So it's just, I'm just taking that that next step further. So because family has always been a priority while my elderly parents are alive, I have decided to stay on this side of the hemisphere. So I'm just taking that one step further now that there are things that threaten my entire family. Now, I want to be even that much closer. It's really just an extension of what I have decided on my priorities. Mhm. Well, and you are certainly no stranger to adversity because you've been through a lot earlier in your life and there's just no doubt about it. One of the lessons that you have learned with overcoming adversity or as you were going through it. What what were the lessons when I was seven? My mom had her first of four bouts of cancer and one catastrophic illness.

So early on I learned that a our tomorrows are not guaranteed. And then watching her challenged things that should have killed her early on multiple times. I've watched her decides that now this wasn't the time. You know, she challenged that expectation has stage three cancer diagnosis. She's like, yeah, I'm not going down. This is not my time. I have, I haven't decided to challenge this now. That does not mean that that's that's the only way you beat these things. She went through all the treatments. She was very, very fortunate. But what I learned about that is that not to accept foregone conclusions or not to expect the expectations others have on you. I remember being seven years old, sitting at the top of a staircase that led into the kitchen in my house. My mother was in the living room after having treatments and all the church ladies were in the kitchen, bustling around and making meals for us and doing all sorts of caretaking for my family.

And I remember hearing them talk about, what are they going to do when serena dies since serena was my mother. And you know, what are we going to do with the Children? And I thought to myself, you know, my, my expectation that everybody thought that she was going to die. And I thought one as a child. Your mother just doesn't die, right, That's just a thing. But it was it was knowing that that was the expectation and and she was just not going to accept that she had Children to raise. There were things that she wanted to do and, and she chose not to, to take on that expectation again, with the help of medical Assistance and all of that. I don't take anything away from that. And that does not mean that everybody can beat it just with mindset. But we all do know that mindset is very critical to the past that we end up taking from there. I watched her do that on multiple occasions and as I became a single mom at the age of 19 and everyone expected that, you know, with a high school diploma, I was really going to end up on public assistance and there wasn't really much path for me.

I decided that was not an expectation I was willing to accept. And so I went on to challenge that in many, many ways. Um, I went on to challenge the fact that I didn't have anything to offer, that I wasn't somebody because I didn't have a college education that I couldn't be a successful business person and I just continued to build skills and become everything I could become regardless of what people I thought I could become. That's really important, challenging expectations just because somebody thinks you can't be do or have something doesn't mean that it's fact. And it's, it's you accepting that truth or not accepting that truth that allows you to rise above that. Exactly. I think there's a lot to be said for what you learned in your early years, just watching your mother and seeing who your mother was and how she defied the odds, but challenged those expectations and how that somehow imprinted or had an influence on who you are.

I'm, you know, I'm really curious. I'd love to just fast forward a little bit with, you know, you were at the height of your career as a senior corporate paralegal for one of the largest companies, iconic companies, was it google or Apple? Apple? Apple. And yeah, so what, What happened, because that's almost like a total 180 of challenging all expectations and rising to that level of accomplishment and then you chose at some point to do something different. What, what happened, what triggered that? Well, I had, um for years I have been doing some life coaching on the side. It was something that called to me, it was something that actually found me. Somebody had come up to me and said, hey, I know your background, I know your history, there's no reason why you should be this happy and this successful.

Would you teach me? Um, and I thought, wow, that's, that's crazy and he's like, I will pay, you, will you teach me how to do that because I'm struggling here and that's really what started my life coaching career. I had been doing some blogging prior to that, but but this is what kind of started that process um in the meantime I had been an international corporate paralegal for a very large company and decided that all right, if I could go and do this job anywhere in the world, what company would I ever want to work for? And the two companies that came up for me were Virgin an Apple and I thought I want to run my own company someday and I want to learn from the best of the best and what what they do and the best thing I know how to do is go from the inside, learn from the inside be an employee inside one of those companies.

And so I just set out um to to get into one of those companies. I started making sure that my network knew that that was my goal. I started, you know, perusing their openings all the time and such. So I worked really hard to actually put myself in a position to take advantage when the position opened up an Apple to apply for it and get that job. So when I went over there, that was my first experience with being location independent because I told my clients in boston that I was moving across the country. Apple had moved me to their headquarters in California and I said, you know, so I can help you find other coaches and they were like, yeah, but no, we want to stay with you. And so I learned I could do this in a different manner. So I started doing video conferencing with them. So when I was at Apple and I was still doing my, my coaching in boston and then I was doing coaching in California and then everything was growing and the time came where it was a matter of I want to do what I'm doing because I, you know, being a paralegal and a prestigious company is is absolutely fabulous.

But all that glitters is not gold. I can do all these things in in a company and and make stockholders millions of dollars or I can meet with people one on 1 and help them organize their thoughts, really make changes in their lives that make their lives that much more hole that much more fulfilled. And you know when it comes to is it a bank or is it feeling fulfilled? There was no question there. So it was an easy, easy change for me. Mm hmm. Well, you you obviously set the intention to learn from the best and and two and and there's a lot to be said for once you set an intention eventually, you know, if if you are really clear and take the appropriate actions to manifest that it will happen and you did that. It wasn't long term. It was just that step that you needed to help you fill the gap for what you're doing today with thrive this day and I think it's just so interesting, I'd love to know what you're currently working on.

It sounds like you, I have always kind of had this direction of really helping and coaching others, but I'd love to find out a little bit more about what you're currently working on right now and what do you see yourself doing more of or less of in the future? Yeah, it's it's it's fascinating this time we're living in because as things are falling away, new things are coming into play, so again, it's releasing expectations and holding goals tightly, but the process loosely um that I am being reminded constantly to do, I had multiple international speaking engagements set up for this year and day by day, each one of them is falling alongside their either being postponed or being canceled altogether. So, you know, in in the fact that my speaking career is now hitting pause, there are other things that are coming to the to the forefront, you know, because we've spoken about it, that I'm in the process of writing my second book about the mindset that goes into entrepreneurship, because there's lots and lots of education regarding the process of being an entrepreneur, how to read a p and l statement how to how to create a business structure and all those things that I did as a as a corporate paralegal, all of those pieces of it, there's lots of classes out there now that are, that are providing people that information, but what I am finding there's a big void in is that entrepreneurship is not for the meat uh and it is not for everyone and there are many people getting into entrepreneurship and and they didn't realize some of the hardships that go along with it, some of the mindset that's required, you know, some of the understanding of oneself and how one's personal stories actually play out as they moved into their business and, and that's a lot of the coaching I do.

There's a reason why I do both life and business coaching because oftentimes as people are moving along in their business path, some stories come up from their life and how they show up in their business has a lot to do with how they've shown up in their life, or some of the things that have happened to them in their life. So we have to take a pause and go through that because if we don't, it's going to show up later again and again, it's really important that those two things get dealt with together. And so that's what this next book is about, is really about dealing with the mindset that allows for you to be a successful entrepreneur and how to take, you know, some of your experiences and make them work for you and take some of those and digest them, so they at least don't work against you, so that I'm super excited about and your first book entitled The flipside of failure share a little bit more about that Yeah, that is a goal achievement success system, it is really based on a workshop I used to give and I have given it in multiple circumstances, I've, I've given it to a number of people moving from poverty to self sufficiency, I worked a lot in shelters that were helping people move into self sufficiency and so goal achievement was a new concept for them, but it was the same process that took me from poverty into self sufficiency and then into further success that I've been using all my life, I have been teaching that for years and as I was developing the course so that I could ask somebody else to actually give that class, I realized I was writing a book and so I was like, oh, this is a book, well, let me talk to an editor and see if he thinks so too.

And he looked at me and he said, you got yourself a book there, and I went, oh, how about that? Whoever thought I was going to be an author, amazing, um the first book kind of fell out, This one has taken a lot more work and focus, but the flip side of failure is a success system, this is the mindset of entrepreneurship and who knows what the future holds and I myself maybe going into the podcast world in the future to as my circumstances open up and allow this, that's something that has, has come across my plate as a, as a possibility in the near future. Well, that sounds awesome, I'd love to see you do that, it's a lot of fun, there's a lot of lot of learning involved in it, but I know you would be great at it and I'm so thrilled for you, particularly with the second book because there's a lot to really be said around mindset and it seems to be getting quite a bit of attention these days and and I think about it a lot myself just in terms of, you know, the work that I do and helping others to really kind of shift their mindset and, you know, mindset can, can take many different forms in terms of the different things that we use our minds, we cultivate a mindset for certain things in our life and I love the fact that you're focusing on what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur and I'm assuming a lot of that is certainly based on much of your experience, your own personal experience as well as the experience you've had with the individuals and business owners that you have coached, correct?

Yeah, definitely, it's based on, you know, eight years of doing life and business coaching and certainly my own journey, you know, this is so important, I think because I find it is important and, you know, this entire podcast is all about this, right? It's about rising up to do our best and there's so much out there with the whole hustle thing and the whole follow your passion thing and all these things and then when people, you know hustle themselves into burnout, then they feel like they failed and when people are following their passion so diligently and then it doesn't work and they're like, was it not my passion or did I do it wrong or what have you? And then you have the people who, and I get this oftentimes they get this and they're like, I'm not sure what my passion is and they get all stressed out because they're like, well, I like this, but I don't know is it my passion? Like the board passion.

So like there's so much information out there and trying to sift through that and understand that a hustling until you burnout is not the answer. And I think it's a poor prescriptive for a successful business and if you're not hustling every moment of every day, does that mean you're going to fail? No, it means that you're sensible, it means that you are doing what's best for you and if you're not doing what's best for you, your business will be a difficult thing to maintain because it will become a job that you've purchased or created for yourself instead of the business that you wanted to create and build, right? So I think it's really important that that we help people understand that a they're not failing their learning and be that mindset is just so important to have clear so that you don't worry about what's failing and what success that you just be naturally organically authentically who and what you are and that will build the success.

I love that it's not about failing because we're all learning and mindset is so important so that we can like to use this phrase do less and be more if we all were to focus on doing less, we'd have much more of an opportunity to tap into what really is important to us and maybe even finding you know what that true passion is and maybe there's several passions but giving ourselves the opportunity to just be, be with who we are, like you said and not feel like we have to just go go, go, go, go and isn't that what in coming full circle, isn't that what we're being called to do in this moment? This just comes full circle to where we started the interview. It is we are in this space of the messy middle and we're in this space of unknown where were being called and invited to be and to listen and to figure out what is important to us that we want to take going forward and I think I think that's just beautiful if we allow it to be beautiful and not focus on what we don't have, but focus on this moment, this this grace that we've been given do spend time in introspection as well as reflection.

Exactly. And I think this is a great moment to wrap things up and I just have a couple of questions for you before we get into you know, sharing how people can learn more about you. If you had a genie in the bottle and only one wish, what would that be? Oh gosh, it would have to be for peace. You know, I guess especially with all these these leaders out here grabbing on this and grabbing on that the genie would be very taxed in my one wish because that's really that's my my hope and that's my little piece of the world that I hope that I am affecting is creating little beings of peace by helping them feel fulfilled and following their passions and their dreams and creating the lives that they choose is creating little beings of peace. Because it's in those moments where we feel fulfilled that we are truly at peace. I love that.

I absolutely love that. That's just wonderful insight and I'd love for you to share any advice you might have for others at this point to truly rise up to the loving heart centered self. Yeah, I think take this time if you're if you're listening to this in the in the moments where we're all being called to shelter and in home or if you're not and you create some space for you to just quiet the world around you and and ask, you know, your heart rises up when you listen to what it's calling you to do and it's not calling you to be busy, it's calling you to listen to it. And in following that, I think you will find your sense of peace. And I think if that's the one piece of advice, it's it's that it's quiet some space for you. Listen inwardly. What fills you with joy? What brings you peace? What brings you light and add more of that into your world, even if you can't change the majority of your world, if you can just add little bits of that into your life to your days, I think you'll find more space for bringing more of that into your days.

I think that's just the perfect advice at this point in time to find that quiet space, listen, go inward and find what fills you up with joy and light. Thank you so much for sharing that. And Elizabeth, where can people find out more about you? I am on every piece of social media under thrive this day. My website has thrived this day dot com and my email is Elizabeth at thrive this day dot com. Um I answer all my own email, I answer everybody that that reaches out to me. So, you know, if you have a question, if you have a thought, I do complimentary discovery sessions. If you're thinking, jeez, I wonder if she could help me? There are no pressure, complimentary sessions. You always walk away with some action items. Those are always open to all of your listeners at any time. Oh and that is so generous of you. I will be sure to include all of this in our show notes.

And I just want to thank you so much for taking the time to join me today. This has just been a great conversation, particularly in light of just all the things that are going on in the world and you have had so much insight and true wisdom to offer. I so appreciate it. Thank you for being here. We'll carol. Thank you so much for all the work you're doing on hearts rise up and on the opportunity to talk to your listeners. It's been really a joy to share what I can about where I'm I'm seeing this, this world today and what we can do to really thrive in it. Thank you so much. Mm hmm. Okay, we hope today's show helped to bring a bit more joy and happiness into your heart. We hope it inspired you to unleash your inner power and rise up to your best and loving heart centered highest self. We'd be grateful if you'd leave us a review on itunes. Those reviews are important to spreading this valuable message. We'd love for you to subscribe to our podcast and share the show with others, visit hearts rise up dot com for heart centered courses, guided meditations and are popular notes from your higher self until next time, Keep rising up and may all that you love thrive.

Ep. 27 - Insights And Hope From The "Messy Middle" - An Interview With Elizabeth Miner
Ep. 27 - Insights And Hope From The "Messy Middle" - An Interview With Elizabeth Miner
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