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Ep. 11 - Human DOing vs. Human BEing

by Hearts Rise Up
August 26th 2019
00:41:59
Description
In this episode, Concetta and Carol talk about what it means to be a Human Doing vs. a Human Being in today’s world. It’s a question all of us must ask ourselves as we live in an increasingly complex,... More
Hello to all of you Hearts Rise up podcast listeners. Thank you for tuning your heart's in for another episode of this podcast. I'm carol chapman, your co host for this episode. Rising up to life's challenges is hard work, especially in today's seemingly chaotic world, all of which can pull us down. If we let it, life doesn't have to be hard, we don't have to let our outer circumstances or others dictate how we feel and act or define who we are now. More than ever is the time to unleash our own inner power and innate wisdom, to guide us to experience more joy and happiness in life, because true power lies within not without, and when we go within, we tap into our loving heart centered higher self and the more we tune to our higher self, the more we elevate our state of being, our life and the world around us.

It's that simple. So let's get right into today's episode. I want to introduce my co host today for this show and that is Concetta antonelli. Concetta welcome. Thanks carol. I'm really excited to be doing this. Yes, this is gonna be an awesome conversation that we're going to have today and our topic today is all about human doing versus human being. Why don't you go ahead and give our guests just a little bit of a sense as to why we chose this topic today. Well, I think that it's important in in our lives to find some sort of balance between action and rest. And it's it's been something that's been important to me for probably my entire life of trying to figure out when to do something and when to just simply be someone and it, it can be a play on words of course, but it came up a lot when I entered corporate America, well actually I should say it came up a lot when I went to school and I tend to be, I was, this is nothing, I'm not trying to brag about myself, but I tended to be a straight a student, so there was always this level of achievement.

Um and then when I got into corporate America, it was about climbing yet another rung on that proverbial ladder and it was always go, go, go, go until that go, go, go, created a man autoimmune disease for me and I had to make a big stop and learn a lot about the interesting, I was going to say the action of just being um so basically that's it, it's been something important in my life and I know there are a lot of people out there who are, I mean, even the phrase trying to find a work life balance, Which I think probably got created somewhere in the late 80s, early 90's um about how can we do it all and yet find some sort of balance? Well, I, I hear you and um I've been there too, I can certainly relate having probably grown up pretty much in the same timeframe that you did, you know, we're about the same age and um it was really all about, pushing, pushing, pushing and doing better and acquiring more doing more, being better, you know, working the way up the corporate ladder and um over time it does take its toll on you if that's all you're doing and it affects us health wise, if we're not taking the time or the necessary opportunity for self care and um and that's why we wanted to talk about this topic today because so many people in the world are so busy doing that, there's probably not enough being and we want to talk a little bit more about what being is.

So I'm going to put that back to you Concerto, what is human being from your perspective? Yeah, and and I'm over here shaking my head up and down with everything that that you're talking about. So yes, for me now there's uh there it's an individual, I think there's an individual take on what being is um in general, I can talk about, for me, it's it's, it can be reading to me that's being because I'm generally not in motion if I'm physically reading a book or a magazine or some an article even online um and that means that there's a certain amount of stillness in that being and um to me also being is mindfulness and mindfulness is being in the present moment, noticing life, experiencing the senses for me? It's, it's going to my senses. What do I see, What do I hear, even what do I taste?

And and you know, what can I touch? Those sort of things to me are about being um you know, it's interesting I when I was thinking about this knitting for me is being, there's a certain so anything that that is that we with our hands that has somewhat of a repetitive motion actually in our body and it's been proven scientifically proven that that it actually balances both sides of the brain. So um you know, I said it already, but silence some when you meditate when you're in prayer. Um and it it there's a certain amount of being in some form of aligning our mind and our body and our soul now that could be dancing even if we're really paying attention. Um So what about you? You know, I gave this list, but what what for you is being, I think being is um it's about being aware of how you're feeling um and it really does go back to the census that you are referring too.

Um It's being in a state of of just um flow, um not thinking about the past or the future, but it's really about being in the present moment and having time to indulge myself in that present moment, whether it's maybe I'm in the kitchen washing dishes, that's something that I actually enjoy doing, don't I think it's because I love the warmth of the water and the feel of the soap and just just the movement of washing dishes, it's it's it's almost therapeutic and it almost is a form of meditation for me because I just so totally focused in it. So that's really um one example for me that is about being and I think that we all probably have our own experiences with, with being and but just don't really take the opportunity and and I think sometimes later in life, you know, people do tend to slow down a little bit more and take a little more time hopefully, and I know for you that you do a lot more of that for instance, I know you you love to get out in nature and nature is a way of just being for you and being in the moment and enjoying what nature brings to you, right?

It is, and it's I was reflecting as a little bit on what you were saying is that um you know, we want to create moments more moments to be a human being for one of the reasons I spoke about is that's what will happen then the downside of not being is that it will your body will force you to just be, and that's one of the things that happened for me with, you know, the classically it's called burnout and you can burn out your mind and your body in essence if you're not being enough and I found that going out into nature when that happened um was really one of the things that helped me heal is just connecting to that rhythm of, as you've said, nature being nature and and how that can help. Well, it did help me and I know lots of people to that they it puts you back into some sort of rhythm of just knowing that for example, a tree doesn't have to really think about doing anything when it's growing and there's a certain amount of growth going with the flow on that one.

What's, what's there that just happens. Exactly. I'm curious. I'm curious what I didn't mean to interrupt you, but um there was a real thought there there there had to have been a point in your life where you recognize that um and became more aware of what was happening and so share a little bit more about what that moment was. And how did you turn things around? Mm hmm. Um mhm. It's often that when we're in crisis that we are well and I did when I was in crisis is when I was able to find more solutions and perhaps in an odd sort of way that's one of the benefits of doing too much is that it leads us to some solutions. I'm not advocating over doing it, but it was a moment when I had been longing to actually spend some more time outdoors and actually go hiking, but because I was so busy, um I didn't make that happen.

And then when I was going through separation and eventually divorce, I made a conscious decision that I'm gonna go do that now. And it was largely because um I was I couldn't just stay inside, I couldn't stay with um the angst I was feeling over overall that that I was going through and I finally said, what, what can I do to help with this? And then I realized that I'd been longing to go out into nature. And so in some ways it was as if nature called me out and said, well come on, I've been here all along. I love that. What were the things that um precipitator that were prior to that, like, for instance, what was it that you were so involved in that was just just doing what and what is doing basically from your perspective. Yeah. And you you know that when I thought I thought about this more um human doing is simply being alive.

One of the, if I put it in simplest terms to me, it's being alive on the planet because we have to, when I say this, I know there are people out there who perhaps would argue with me on this one, but we have to earn a living somehow. We I had to pay my bills because I wanted to eat, I wanted a place to live and and those kinds of things. So some of it is basic. I would say that we've um, it, we have to do things like move our bodies if we're stationary for too long. There's so much now. They're bringing out the research is showing that we're, we actually, I'm laughing because it used to be over doing it meant that you would have a heart attack if you, if you were to active, you could have a heart attack. Now they're telling us that if you sit too much, you, it's proven you can help you, you can hurt yourself more. You can actually cause damage and, and perhaps increase the risks.

So, um, now it's, it's not that it's more important, but it is true movement. We have to move around. Even even things like it helps the, the circulation in the body. So it's good for you just to be moving. Um, we've got to raising Children, being a member of society, having friends, interacting with friends and family and colleagues. This is all about doing and myself. What happened was, is that I got swept up into achieving in corporate America and I have to admit as um, I, I love achieving, it feels really good and there's a positive aspect of achieving, um, it's great. I think it's, it's a great um, For me anyway, it feels really great to check things off my list or reach my goals and uh, that's okay except that I was working 80 hours a week.

I was um also involved in extracurricular activities where I was vice president and president of associations as part of my work. I was um, I had an active, um, well there were things I was doing outside of work, I was cycling, I was involved with creativity group and so I don't know when I slept, to be honest with you, it wasn't much, I didn't sleep enough obviously. Yeah, I hear you now. I well, I hear you because I've been there too. I mean, I can relate to it and there was a time where I was just constantly working and just focused on my, my my work, my career and I didn't have time for anything else. And, and it did take its toll on me as well. You know, I've I've found myself in a bit of a health crisis midlife when I had finally pulled the corporate plug and left corporate so I can, I can certainly relate.

And it was that point in time that I started really reflecting on my life and why I was so busy doing so much. And I did take the time to get to know myself again and get a better sense of what my priorities in life were, what my purpose or, you know, in life was. And so obviously there are benefits to both, right? But if if we're if we're one extreme to the other. And I think it's like being on the same continuum because it really is the same quality, but it's just extremes right? And yeah, so how do how do we, I mean, so obviously there are benefits to both. I mean, you were able to turn turn your health around, um I was able to turn my health around. Um are there any other things that that that you could share around those benefits? Well, I think that living life on purpose is a value to society.

It helps people if my purpose. Um if I'm if I'm doing what I came here to do, if I'm I'm giving my gifts to the world, then that's a good thing that because we're helping others as as well as ourselves, um you know, I think about there's obviously a book written by Rick Warren, it's called the purpose driven Life. It's interesting to me that the word driven is in there because that might be a bit too much. However he said that in there, um you'll find the answers to three of life's most important questions. The question of existence, why am I alive? The question of significance does my life matter? And the question of purpose? What on earth am I here for? And so I think that that's the benefit of doing. And it's fascinating to me because in order to answer those questions it requires requires us to be and sit and be silent and reflect and those sort of things.

So even in answering those questions we have to balance out the two, we have to take the action of answering them, but it might require us to just be in order to do that okay. And another benefit is we connect with others when we take action when we're human doing it, we can stay at home and or be in nature or we can be on our own is what I'm saying. However, in order to interact with others, we we have to do something, we have to have conversation, even if you want to sit in silence with someone, it requires some sort of action. So I think that's a benefit is of being a human doing and actually if we can find, if I can find the balance, this is what works for me, is that balancing the human the human doing with the human being means that I'm recharging my batteries in some ways because my connections with people um allow me to do that and if if I'm doing something that I love to do, like if I'm doing art, it requires some action and that brings that helps recharge me.

So those are those are some of the benefits for me. What about you? Well I think um a lot of the benefits for me are um quite, you know when I, when I create a balance between the two, I find that I am more in tune with what is important to me and I know that there are certain things that I have to do to just, you know, exist as a human being, right? You know, you just, you have to, you have to get up, you have to brush your teeth, you have to go to the bathroom, you know, you have to pee, you have to do all the normal things that we do as people as human beings, we have to eat, you know, we have to have food, we have to fuel our bodies, we have to move and so and we and we want to self actualize, you know, we want to feel like we are doing something meaningful. That's that's very important to me and a lot of that is the practice of doing, but I think that the practice of being when particularly when I'm either meditating and meditating is a really good practice for me for just being because it it really enables me to just get in touch with myself, just be with myself and and figure out um you know, have some self reflection, have some time to, to focus on on something that um I may have had an issue with or I'm struggling with and sometimes just being and just allowing, you know, doing the meditating, just allows you to get into a zone basically where you can allow the answers what I what I want to refer to from the universe, the larger universal consciousness to come through and help me deal with something that I'm dealing with So Oftentimes when I'm just too busy doing trying to figure something out, it just gets harder for me.

So if I take a break, I get away from it. Uh sometimes even if I sleep on it the next morning, the answers will come voila. It's just it's it's amazing. So, I guess there's a lot to be said for. I think each individual finding their own flow to create um to create a balance. But the I guess the in today's world, how do people address the hindrances? The things that keep us from creating that balance? How have you done that? Wow. You know, sometimes I find myself being too attractive to what society says that I need to be doing. You know that I need to be achieving. Or I have As a, as a matter of fact, I've had um uh, an opportunity to mm hmm. Be less pulled in by that to be less. Um hmm. It's a little bit like a shiny penny.

It's like being drawn to it. I must have that. Uh So I think what I've found often is that if I am I guess the word I want to use, It's a strong word. But if I if I feel obsessed to the point where I cannot rest meaning that I cannot just settle um that I feel like I've got, I've got kinetic energy in my body and I need to keep going and doing something that's usually a good signal to me um to take a breath and ask myself what is making me so driven to use that word again um to to keep moving, what what what what is there behind all of that? And sometimes it's fear, it's fear of of not feeling what I might be feeling. It could be actually, it could be a positive feeling, it could just simply be a moment where I'm I just don't want to look behind that veil that I must I've put up.

And it sometimes though, it's especially if I've spent a little time looking at the um current news or what's going on in the world. And and I may have seen something that it's upsetting, It's a lot easier to get up from there and go do something than it is to tap into those feelings. Um So I just stay aware if it's if I'm being again driven to keep going um you know, that that that can be a hindrance to finding my way into being um sometimes I need to have some physical activity. So it can be as simple as I've got all this extra energy and I don't want to stop. Maybe I need a bike ride. Maybe I need to go do something as simple as I read something today, as a matter of fact about the benefits of doing housework to to help with feeling depressed. And I thought, well my goodness, I've been doing that just about all my life in that, you know, when when all else fails, you can you can clean a desktop or you can you can wipe down the window.

And it's it's this moment of being able to say, okay, I can do that, I may not be able to solve all my problems, but I get to uh clean the window and now everything, it looks a little better that way. I love that. That's a great example. So I think one of the hindrances um to to finding a balance for all of this is is not trusting myself in some ways that it's it's okay to feel whatever is coming up and that another hindrance is that I don't think I have enough time. And so that big word there for me was try, I I think you've just hit on a couple of really key points is trusting yourself and time. You know, we're all just because it's such a fast paced world these days that we're all just sort of chasing the clock. And I even find myself today, um I was at the gym and I was trying to get through it so I could get back here and make sure I have plenty of time to prepare for this.

And then I had other things that I that I had to deal with before I could get into this and um you know, our our call here and and and then you just sort of feel like you're so focused on that, that you just lose touch with just the just being uh in in the moment and I know for me the hindrances are that just like if I allow life to get in the way versus making a conscious choice to say, okay, stop reflect, do I really need to be doing this right now? And um and then I think about, well there's plenty of time. Um I can just why, why do I even have to worry about time? I only have to worry about time if I've made a if I have a hard commitment, right? So it really is another thing for me is trusting my my emotions, my body, what is my body telling me?

Or my muscles tense? I can, I can tell that that's a hindrance for me when I feel tension in my body, my neck, my shoulders, my upper back, those muscles, they just tense up. So for me, a lot of it is paying attention to my, my body and my emotional state and when I noticed that my body is out of out of sync or out of, you know, doing quirky things. And if I notice that my emotions are kind of off, they're not where they where they should be. That's when I say, okay, wait a minute, I need to stop And take a moment a few moments, even if it's 10, 15 minutes and, and I think that there's a lot to be said for that. I think many people go go through their day that they don't take the time to pay attention to the red flags are the things that are happening within them.

And I think those can be that can be a hindrance if you don't take the time, you don't listen to your body, you know, if you don't listen to the warning signs of the signals. So I guess, you know, the question is, what, what are the things that people can do to actually create that balance or to, you know, I think for most of us and I really believe this, I think the majority of people spend more time doing. And the reason I I say that is because meditation is a really strong influence In, in my life as far as being or just taking a walk or taking a break and there's only like eight precise. I read somewhere recently that there's only like 8% of the population that actually uses meditates regularly, you know uses meditation as a form of just you know, being, wow, I didn't realize it was that let that low, It's 8% of Americans.

So I don't know whether that's a global population because you know that might not apply, to you know, um other parts of the world, but Americans. that's a low percentage it is and it doesn't mean that that's the only way that you can you can be in the state of being and because you know, you you you had rattled off that you like to knit and there's other things that you, that you do that keeps you in the moment and keeps you in that state of being. But I guess the question is, what actions do you think others could take to increase their time just being? Well, one of the things is both being and doing is to see it as a choice because it's easy to to trick ourselves and that's what I did into saying, oh well I can't stop. I have to do this. Um, I have to go to work. Well, no one really said I had to work 80 hours a week consistently.

No one said I couldn't take a day off or take a vacation, but I had that in my head that I had to continue doing. And it's a choice. And so first step is to see it that way is the way I look at it. And it it and also, second for me is what you were talking about is it's not that you have to go. It's simple. That's the word I want to use. There's a simplicity about it in that you don't have to go away for a month long meditation retreat. It can be as simple as you said, of taking five or 10 minutes when you notice that you got your indicators, my neck is tensing up me, it's if I get really speedy in my, my thinking and in my speech I'm like whoa, that's a that's a red flag for me, what's going on. Um So I first and foremost is to see it as a choice and then from there I say there's there can be some awareness around it and even be a little playful with it and and decide well and you can even be more structured and say, okay, I think you've told me that you schedule time in your day, you actually schedule um an alarm, right?

Yeah, I used the um my my phone to schedule mindful moments, so I, you know, I take a break for five or 10 minutes and it, you know, Yeah, it's it's a it's a great reminder and actually I had um I've scheduled more now, I have at least three during the day, one in the morning, one in the afternoon, one in the evening. And what do you see as the benefit from doing it, doing that, What have you noticed? Well um the benefit from that is that um that I um I made it, I made a conscious choice that it was important that I do that, but it's not always easy to do that if you're in the middle of something and you're caught up in it, but I will have to say the benefit from it now has been that I anticipate that mindful moment reminder coming up. And every time if I haven't anticipated it, I um whenever it does come up on my phone and I notice it because sometimes I won't notice it because I'm I'm doing something else.

And my phone isn't always there. But it just brings a big smile to my face. Mm hmm. And and you you reminded me that that's also there's been some research about that and having, you know the meditation, the mindfulness and even compassion is that it actually increases endorphins. And and there you are smiling. Which is sending, sending the message which and in turn it's going to reduce your stress hormones. Uh So that's pretty cool. That that now you you just have an indicator that'll, that'll it's like you've created a habit even without hearing the alarm. I think that that when we spend time or being we are nourishing our mind and body and allowing ourselves to be more connected to what's important and be connected to taking care of ourselves and even maybe more connected to um our heart, our our soul and being better alignment if we do that more often.

And and I believe that we need to do it daily because the more repetition if you do it just sporadically. I don't think it's um that's not worked for me. I have to have a rhythm and a schedule for that time. And there's always going to be days that that, that, that are going to be crazy and they're going to test test you and they test me. Um but I do believe that I'm, I'm better off because I am nourishing my mind and body when I take the time to just be and there's a lot to be said for, you know, um really being focused on creating some sort of balance. Um There's always that give and take depending on, you know what your daily activities are. But I think the reality is that we do need to to have both. Right? I think so. And you've just brought you, you've touched on something else is that to schedule your, your time in and and to keep your schedule even if others can be more flexible, which is an interesting thing because there needs to be some flexibility.

You might have a schedule for one day or one week, but then things happen, life happens or um there's unexpected things that show up. So there's got to be some flexibility in the schedule yet. It's important to say this nourishes me, whatever this looks like it can be um standing out in your backyard, looking at the flowers. It could be planting those flowers. It just depends on the person. But I think it's important that covers the other thing about um is getting out into nature is another way to schedule time for your downtime, so to speak. Um so you've touched on that and I can't say enough about how it recharges and it's, we don't have um were we can be like the Energizer bunny, okay, we can go and go and go and go. Um but that I think that's another myth at some point, there's there's got nature.

Does this, we, the seasons to me are a perfect example of, of nature. For example, we go to winter and in winter, nature is is um going dormant, gathering strength. It doesn't mean that nothing is happening. It's the same thing with us as human beings to continue doing. We've got to take some time and it may not be that every winter we just completely shut ourselves down. We've got to do that more like you said on the daily basis, Maybe a weekly, uh, it depends on the person again, but I do find that I need it on a daily basis. And that way I have more uh energy to spring forward, so to speak and then follow through on on all those seasons. Exactly, and you know, that that reminds me of a term that you used recently in a blog post. It was are actually most recent blog posts on pause.

Um and it's um it's up on our website. Um and well, we'll put that in the show notes, but something around the sensitivity cycle when you were talking about, you know, taking, you know, in winter, we take time to, to you know, we take that down time to reflect And you want to speak to the sensitivity cycle a little bit because it really is aligned with with our whole concept of the seasons. Mm hmm. And and that I did talk about that. That it is her Comey therapy um tool. And it starts with clarity. Then goes to action, satisfaction comes next, then rest. And it's on a continuous loop. And and and as I said in my blog post, I enjoyed that loop between action and satisfaction. Action and satisfaction. And still have to pay attention to the fact that if I rest and the whole point of resting, which we can use the metaphor of winter is to get clarity because in order to have the um so we I guess we could call it the correct action or the the best action.

We need some clarity before we go. And winter can be a little bit like I'll use another metaphor planning your trip and you might want to. The clarity comes when you look at your gps or the map on the best route to take. So it's important to do that before you head out. And I know there are some trips where it's very serendipitous and you go out and you don't have to plan at all. Um But in essence two I think to to balance between the doing and the being this is a perfect cycle for me. Exactly. It helps helps us navigate life if we think of um because everything is in cycles. You know, I mean you think about the tides, you know the ocean and you think about the moon, you know the sun. You know, they're always rising and they're you know setting and um so there's cycles for everything.

And I think if we pay attention to that and if we get out of just that loop of just action and satisfaction, we truly can by focusing on the clarity and then taking time to rest. It gives us the opportunity to think about what we want in life and how we can navigate our lives so that we are growing and evolving and bringing about the life that is meant for us that's going to be nurturing and nourishing. But at the same time fulfilling. Mm hmm. Well said so I think we have probably we could probably go on even longer with this topic. But I think well, I think we've probably covered enough today and I hope that we've left our listeners with something to ponder parting thoughts Concetta before you close us for our episode today.

Well, I would invite all our listeners to let us know, tell us about your experience as a human doing and a human being. And um let us know if there you have any questions and definitely comments. We'd love to hear from you. Wait before you go. We hope today's show helped to bring a bit more joy and happiness into your heart. We hope it inspired you to unleash your own inner power and to rise up to your best and loving heart centered, highest self. Just a few things before you go, we'd be so grateful if you'd leave us a review on Itunes, because those reviews are important to our show and we'd love for you to subscribe to our podcast and share the show with others. Finally, let us know what tips and strategies you use to rise up to your highest self by reaching out to us at www dot hearts rise up dot com.

Or email us at hello at Hart's Rise up dot com. Well, that's it for now. Until next time. Keep rising up and may love and happiness Always be in your heart. Bye for now, mm hmm. Mhm

Ep. 11 - Human DOing vs. Human BEing
Ep. 11 - Human DOing vs. Human BEing
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