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Ep. 6 - You Hold The Pen To Your Life - An Interview with Brenda Underwood

by Hearts Rise Up
April 30th 2019
Rejection was a big cloud over Brenda’s life for a long time. It was like a pillar from the time she was born. As the youngest of 5 children, for years she allowed rejection to shape the way she saw p... More
Welcome to the Hearts Rise Up podcast. I'm Ansari, your host for this episode rising up to life's challenges is hard work, especially in today's world with so much stress, chaos and fear all of which can pull us down if we let it, we don't have to let outer circumstances or others dictate how we feel and act or define who we are now. More than ever is the time to awaken our own inner power, dig deep and rise up to our best self are loving, heart centered, higher self and that's what Hearts Rise up podcast is all about. When we tap into our own inner power, we elevate ourselves, our life and the world around us. It's that simple. So let's get right into today's episode, We're very fortunate today to have a friend of mine and a life coach, Brenda Underwood, Brenda is a mom, a professional leader, a lover of jesus, a game changer and a mover and shaker, who is she?

She's a single mom that has defied the odds and achieved what others have always said was impossible. She is a daughter of the most high king, a child of royalty. She is the business owner of breakthrough for life, where she helps others breakthrough difficult barriers in unique ways. After 25 years of corporate level management for companies like unisource worldwide Mitchell, Williams law firm and Toshiba America Brenda is reaching out to help others break through to their next level of living Brenda is a certified growth coach, trained by jenny Turton via life forming leadership coaching and professional coach, trained by life forming leadership coaching, She spent the last decade mentoring and coaching people from every walk of life, helping them to win at life educated in both accounting and Biblical studies, Brenda has a worldview that touches hearts and balances budgets literally through her corporate career and ministry service.

She has a unique understanding of the dynamics of both corporate and personal breakthroughs. She understands that the most successful business is required successful people. The reality is the two are intertwined and happy people make happy employees when people are able to discover their purpose and walk in their destiny, they're happy factor increases. Brenda has the capabilities necessary to coach individuals into personal breakthroughs that lead to successful lives. She has an astonishing knack for helping individuals reach out to the heart of the barriers they face every day by tearing down the road blocks and breaking through the blind spots. Her clients are able to win at life, Brenda says, my passion is to help people craft a winning life. We do this by equipping people with the tools necessary to face off with fear, build confidence and develop strategic life plans to achieve their dreams. My 20 plus years of management and ministry leadership provides me with the experience necessary to identify blind spots and break through barriers that prevent individuals from winning at life.

My certifications and life coaching and business growth development are the anchors that set my clients up for winning results and your personal motto, Brenda, keep it simple and get it done. Welcome to Hart's rise up awesome, It is such a great opportunity to be here today, thank you so much and we are ready to hear more and learn what you may be a little bit about what you tell your clients, that helped them and also just your own life story, how you got to where you are today. Are you ready to rise up to your best self today? To inspire our listeners. Absolutely! This is such an honor to come and inspire other people to live a life that is worth falling in love with every single day, every day and I know I have been inspired by you already in some of your coaching as well as meeting you through a speaking engagement and every time I hear you speak, I'm just fired up. So I hope our listeners will feel the same, so please share with us, I did that one quote, but please share a personal mantra, that means a lot to you.

I think the mantra in which everything that I do is built upon outside of jesus being my fabric is either you're going to happen to life, for life is going to happen to you. Mhm And if you are not intentional about your time and your resources, then you fall into life happened, but when you get very intentional about how you spend your time, your resources, your relationships, the activity that brings productivity and not just being busy, then all of a sudden you happen to life and you begin to shape what you're in, craft what your life looks like, and you had your own personal experiences with this that made you want to help others, You know, in all honesty, I was um working at a very big ministry here in the Southeast and I was a bible college teacher there and I would have great engaging classes.

My classes were taught on transformation, so there was a foundation phase of what's it look like to just this is who jesus is then it was the transformational phase, okay, how do I let go of the old and pick up the new? And I taught that class, and so in that class, I taught that for eight years, I would have tons of people come up to me and they loved God, but they were living broke her frustrated lives and they were struggling with what does life look like now, and I've been doing this for a long time, or I'm just gotten into it and my life is not exciting and I dread waking up in the morning and I don't want to go to that job again. And if I have to talk to my wife one more day about X, Y Z, I'm gonna to lose it. And I thought, you know, helping people come to a place where they can take ownership of their reality, know how to craft it and get excited about every 24 hour period of time?

That's where it was birthed out of my heart just broke for people, and even in my own life dealing with different things, um rejection was a big, you know, cloud over my entire life for a very long time and I allowed it to shaped the way I saw people and things and how I interacted and craft attitudes and I had to get to a place where I let that go in order for me to have a winning life. And so through those two things, I decided, you know, I want to help other people win, you know, well we will hire a coach to um help us with becoming a better tennis player, a better basketball player, but then we say, well life is supposed to just happen and it just is what it is, you know, it's what you make it to be. Really don't like that phrase, it is what it is. Yeah, it doesn't have to be, no, it doesn't have to be so many people are running around.

I know when I was coming up is the big thing to to not go to college and go to europe and find yourself, right? And then I may have dated myself, but now I'm like and I thought go and find yourself on the back side of the wilderness, I'm kinda, you know, I wanted my idea of camping. It has a heater and electricity. Right? And so I came to the place where why do you have to go find yourself? Why don't you create yourself? You create who you wanna be? You define you and embrace all of your unique fingerprint of what you've been created to be embraced every bit of it and live life to the fullest. That is beautiful. And it is what our mission is here to our hearts rise up really to help people realize they can do it themselves. They just have to give themselves a chance and have some direction in their life. So, thank you for sharing that. That was a big answer to that question.

Thank you. And now could you share a time maybe in your journey where you encountered a challenge in rising up to your best self? And what is it that maybe without getting too personal, You doubted yourself or you were conflicted. What are some of the lessons you learned that you were able to overcome and hence help other people now through breakthrough for life, that love doesn't hurt rejection. Does that was probably the biggest thing for me. You know, um when you allow other people to define who you are, you will always be disappointed. Mm hmm. And I think that going through what I went through in my home life growing up. You know, I'm the baby of five kids. Two older brothers are much, much older, busy living their lives. I was just a coincidence in their world. Uh the baby who the sister above me, she was the baby before I came along for eight years in his icon.

There's a lot of that sibling rivalry going on and a rejection was like a pillar from the time I was born and I had to get to a place where I didn't let it define me anymore and that I wasn't seeing myself through the eyes of my critics that we all have plusses and we all have minuses and guess what everybody has them. So don't let your weaknesses define you and don't let your pluses make your head big learn to love who you are authentically and live out of that true identity so that you can have the confidence to conquer whatever life throws your way? Confidence is a big, big thing, isn't it? And when we I also think that the other part of that is we look at people and we assume no, they must have had an easy life, but they may have also gone through the same or even worse. And so we just should not make assumptions and just start a conversation and share that that love that we should have for each other.

Great, great. And so you had now you have a son and how is his is he one of your clients or is he on his own and inspirational to you. You know, it's a little bit of both. I put out on social media the other day. I'm so thankful that I have a son that I can trust with my wallet and my heart and you know, because not every parent can trust all their kids, you know, I know parents who, they don't leave their wallets around or their bedroom door has a deadbolt lock on it, you know, and I'm thankful for that. Was he my guinea pig? Yeah, he was my guinea pig. I wanted him to live a better life than I lived because I had been in the drug game. I had sold drugs, use drugs and you know, a variety of different things, trying to find my place where I fit because I felt so rejected at home. And um, I was determined, my son wasn't gonna live that. And so he was my guinea pig. He was the look, read, rich dad, poor dad read think and grow rich, multiple streams of revenue.

Don't rely on just a job, you craft your own life. And you know, I remember when he got ready to go into high school, I told him, I said, look, um, you're gonna take care of your academic career because I believe as a single mom raising a young male, you, we need to not coddle our male Children, my opinion, my two cents, but we need to not coddle our male Children and makes them weak. What we need to do is give them responsibility while they're still in the framework of our homes so that they can, we can see what kind of decision making abilities they have. And while they're still at home and under our authority, we can help craft that. So when he got ready to go into freshman year, I said, Hey, guess what your academic career, I'm gonna let you make the choices. I'm here to help, you're the primary on the secondary and you need to make good choices because you're paying for your own college. And and he was like, what?

And I'm like, yeah, so make good choices. And you know, in my mind, the only way I can make a man out of him is debt, debt to make a man out of somebody and I said, let's go in your way. And so now he's in his sophomore year in college, he passed his entire way, he chose his classes. I'm to the point now that all I do is give him my tax return and he does all of the paperwork, all the scholarship applications, Everything he is totally independent of you empowered him, totally independent. Making wise choices. He's a third generation entrepreneur. Um, he has multiple streams of revenue, you know, and this was at 18, you know, now he's 20 he'll be 21 this year. And so when you ask me who my first client was, it was, it was him and everything relied on it because I'm his only living parent, his grandparents on both sides are dead and his father is dead.

So I'm it, if something happens to me, I need to know that he can stand on his own two. That's an inspirational story. Thank you for sharing that. Can you give us another Aha moment or an awakening that you had. And before you started breakthrough for life, Before I started breakthrough for life, I had 11 different, I've worked in 11 different industries totally against the norm right until you get one in one industry know it well master it, stay with the company, retire, be loyal, get the pension. Yeah, I didn't do that and that's before we knew it was changing. Um I kind of went where the money was And I've worked in 11 different industries and I think I was on my last post, my last um I was the director of staff development over to for profit companies, companies and one non profit. And um I had been there for seven years, I had a very comfortable situation there and God kept whispering, you know this isn't your dream and like yeah, but do you see the bank account, you know this isn't your dream?

Yeah, but you know I got a parking spot with my name on that corner office guy. I mean this is kind of like this kind of sweet, I like it, we're good, you know, and he's like you know this isn't your dream and I was like, yeah, okay then he made my dream uncomfortable, he made where I was where I felt comfortable, he put thorns and pin needles and he was like you're gonna fly this coop. If I got like an eagle make you up and drop you off and see if you saw or not, you gotta fly this coop because this isn't your dream and I need you to live your dream because your dream is connected to other people's dreams and I need you in proper position and that was a big deal for me. So you weren't serving others necessarily the way you're supposed to, I think that we're all and I'm gonna borrow something from the minister that I have a great deal of respect for, she says we are all diamonds perfectly cut for a particular setting.

But so many of us have allowed our cut to be in a setting that's not fit for us. Do we still shine? Absolutely, but do we shine as bright as we could Absolutely not and we might get nicked or fall out of that setting. And so leaving corporate and coming into um my own business and being an entrepreneur, you know, and not number two in charge, but number one, which was scary all in of itself, it was that moment to say, okay God it's me and you and I'm walking on this water with my knees shaking and I hope you got me. And he's showing me what I call kisses from heaven over and over again, honey. I got you in ways you don't even realize. And it was a beautiful thing to really begin to see how God will take this and bless the steps I take, as long as I was sitting in that comfortable place, I didn't know what blessings he had out there for me.

It wasn't until I got out the boat stepped on the water and he said, I got you look what I've been waiting to walk you into and and you did it cold turkey. It was a three year. I'm a planner. I'm a planner. I've never thought of owning my own business. My mother owned her own business and she told me one day she came home and plopped down in the recliner, she said, baby girl, you don't, never owned a business. The business always owns you. And I thought I won't be doing that one. So I never thought it was actually my last employer who really inspired me to become a business owner. And when I look at this journey, when I stop and I think about it, it was probably always in me to do, but I always liked having somebody else to blame if it went wrong because I can blame. Hey, that's what the president wanted it like that. I'm just a flunky. I just do what he says, you know, But now the buck stops with me and that became a whole another.

I got to determine what's the quality of the product that I provide, the services I provide and how I'm going to provide them. I don't have anyone dictating to me what to do. That's a large responsibility. And for me it was one of those things where I literally planned it out. I mean it was a three year workplace exit strategy for me. And then even then I get to what you wanted to do. You knew what the services that you want to talk about. well at 40. So I'm 47 now at 40 I come home from, I come back from Bahamas and um my staff had decorated my office. My boss bought me a 40 inch tv and there's a story behind that had never purchased a tv in my life, literally I've never purchased a tv in my life when he found that out, he got me a 40 inch tv. I literally had a tv from when I was 13 years old that we would watch at 13. I mean at 40 years old. So he buys me this tv and I come in and I should be happy and excited and my staff is like wow you're 40 yay and I shut the door and I start crying.

I started crying and I'm like, I should be considering my background being a drug dealer, a user, living a very promiscuous, risky life. I shouldn't be here. And so I should be so grateful that I am. But this isn't it? And I said, God, what do I want to be when I grow up? I'm 40. My brother and my oldest brother told me he goes, you know, you're not grown until you pay the I. R. S. And so I'm like, I'm real grown, I'm 40 hrs a lot of money, Right? And I cried like a baby. And that's when God started to birth in me. Yeah, this isn't your dream, I've been telling you that, but this isn't your dream. And let's start to look at what your dream is. It wasn't until three years later that I found out it was life coaching. And even thought that I was like, why are you coaching? What is that? So there were other things you entertained as a possibility. No, that was it. I mean, I just, all I knew was what I was doing was not fulfilling.

Although I was still pouring into people, I was still using my gift to teaching, I was still inspiring and encouraging people to be the best they could possibly be just in a different capacity. This was a huge stretch for me. And when God dropped it in my spirit, I want you to look in a life coach and I was like, are you kidding me? Life coaching? What is that? Isn't that some new age thing? And I was like, that's enough to research it, Okay, whatever. I'm a hardheaded christian, I don't know about the rest of y'all in the world, but I'm one of those that you gotta pluck me on the head a few times. And so I started researching it and I said, well God, you don't even need, this is an unregulated field. I don't even need a degree for this, you know, like who wants to do this? And I argued with them for a little while and then it came to a place where I reached out to someone jenny who was my trainer and me and her clicked, You know how you have that God moment with somebody, like it's a match.

And she knew about authors because you know, I like to read a lot. She knew about authors that are not mainstream authors. You know, everybody knows about Joyce my hairs and you know, Dean Koontz and all those different, but nobody knew about some of the authors that I follow. And she knew she was quoting she had quotes on her website about them. Now we're gonna get really personal and I'm probably gonna embarrass you guys. But then she told shared some things about purity and walking in abstinence as an adult that just, I was like, I didn't think anybody else believed like that and it was a click and I said, okay God, and she shared a story with me about how she launched off and she never looked back. And so I went through her certification program and it was phenomenal. It was phenomenal. And I moved forward from there and I couldn't, I never looked back, I never looked back. So for some of our listeners who are contemplating that kind of change just because they've been in a career and they know that it's not the right thing for them.

What besides making your plan? Is there anything else you would recommend any book that helped steer you to what you're doing? If you want to walk on the water, you got to get out of the boat by john Oaksburg, Oaksburg. Yes. O R T B E R G or or bird. Um, that book has a phenomenal story behind it. My boss at the last corporation I work for, my boss gave me that book when he was a student of mine in the bible college. And, and he hired me shortly after he, um, he was in my class and I started reading that book back when I first started working for him. Now, I worked for him for seven years. I finished reading that book when I got ready to resign from the company. It was almost like that book was a seal to say, okay, now you're done.

Um, I would pick it up and put it down, pick it up, put it down, pick it obviously seven years and it takes seven years to to read a book for the slowest reader. However, it was a powerful piece for me and it made me really come to a place where do I trust God or not? We say we trust God, but really we trust the security of a job. What we think is security. And one day God just said to me, he said, you know, so now you're telling me that a corporate job is more secure than the hands of the almighty God of the universe. And I was like, okay, I guess I'm going to be a life coach, wow, wow. So I'm sure it took a process and a lot of planning to put it all together. Yes. And I work with clients and that's my specialty. When I worked with most of my clients, 50% of my clients are workplace exit strategy. So it's so I created a program out of it what what I encompasses a variety of things. It encompasses what you need to do before you quit that job.

And it also encompasses if you don't know what you're real purposes discovering it, but it also encompasses working the intangibles and getting financially secure when I left corporate. I was in a better financial position going into my business that I was when I worked in corporate because I did something that was called a snowball effect, which I teach my clients how to do is start working your, your your passion like a part time job, it's another stream of revenue for you instead of watching tv and go into the game and being entertained because the wealthy aren't, they don't, when they're trying to gain their wealth, they're not working to be entertained, they are working to gain money to invest and to learn and work the intangibles. And so my best advice to someone who's looking at leaving is really figure out what are those intangibles. There's so much that's involved with running a business that has nothing to do with getting a client to pay a contract.

There's so much more there. I mean it's a mountain that is just the tip of the iceberg. Getting someone to pay a contract. People that don't really plan ahead, then they end up struggling and giving up sometimes That's why 50% of businesses go out of business within the first two years because they don't know, I just need to go get clients. I'm a great salesperson. Okay, that's great. You got an infrastructure retention legal and there's a ton of things that must be surely crafted out before you step out and so I help people go through that process. I helped them blueprint. What does that workplace exit strategy look like? What is it marketing, what what are you going to catch them with? What are your, who are your ideal clients? I go through that whole thing with them and then we go through a financial grid, you know, how do you actually make that transition and don't take a financial dip. Yeah, because that's another factor that makes people stress and give up. And you're all about taking that stress away to make us live are fully as fully as possible.

Well, thank you. So what are some things that excite you right now on your journey where you are now you've been in your business for for six years? Wow. What excites me in my journey is the same thing that excited me from day 1, 1 on one coaching. I like, you know, I like that one on one dynamic. People don't share their true barriers with you in group settings. They just don't, especially the type of clientele that I work with. Um they're usually have lived some years, they've lived someone else's life, script for them. You know, Daddy said you should do this or hubby said you should do this are wifey wants you to do that are mommy is really adamant about having a doctor in the family, you know, and they lived that and they're halfway through their life and they're like, you know what? They're having a A midlife crisis. Like I was at 40 saying there's got to be more to this life than this and you get there and you're like, now what I don't even know, how to to script my own life and coming to that place where you just take a moment and you really define who you want to be.

That's a key. Taking a moment and finding so for our listeners, what are some things? Little tips? I mean, they should all come and find you as a coach. But what are some tips for helping people realize that it is you got to take time to think you've got to take the time to make the plan. I think the number one thing is coming to the realization that I can really craft my own life. I really get to define me. Um coming from a christian setting, we're we're just, we're, I don't want this to be taken the wrong way, but we are very passive about our relationship with God sometimes and we're just okay, God, I know you died on a cross from me and you saved me from my sins and all that. Okay, now tell me what I'm supposed to do in my job, tell me what I'm supposed to do here, tell me what I'm supposed to do there. And God, we are made in his image. He created us to create. We're multifaceted. The world wants you to be one dimensional, you know, you're just a teacher.

No, you're not. You may be a teacher and a saxophone player and a ballet dancer. You are so much more, we need to realize that we get the opportunity to define how we use what God has given us. Now, he's the fabric to everything. But from that fabric you get to decide what type of tapestry you want to use the gifts and callings are without repentance, very all within us. And that goes back to your diamond analogy, the multifaceted. So yeah, wow, okay. And then you're, what are some things you want to achieve? I imagine maybe a book or something like that Brenda, that's what God wants me to achieve this. The book, Um I've had a book for 10 years that that God has been like, I need you to write that and and I almost had some scarcity is like gonna have somebody else write it if you don't. Um so yeah, a book, but I think my heart passion is to see one million people get breakthrough in their life through coaching.

So I keep having this thought of, what does it look like for the entire population to be living their lives on purpose, operating in their gifts, talents and abilities, What would the world look like? What do you think you'd ever run into a rude person? We'd all be elevated. Yes, because I really believe that our wealth is in the gift God gave us. And when we when we are willing to take steps to walk on the water with him, he will bless the steps we take when we hold his hand as our security and not our four oh one K. S and financial status or jobs or titles as our security. He is more than able to bring wealth to our life, wow so well we're almost to the end of our very interesting talk here.

I want to ask you a few things in a quick lightning round. We call it where you can share some tips and amazing insights and resources for others. And then we definitely want to get your contact information for our listeners. So right now today what helps you feel grounded and centered my daily devotion? Okay I don't see clients until 10 am because I'm going to spend time with God because otherwise I'm no good for them and you told me before you intentionally get, it doesn't mean you get up at six a.m. But you get a good night's sleep and I think that's really important for people to and any kind of other exercise, whether it's meditation, prayer journaling any of those things. Well prayer is paramount. That's part of my devotion time. I have a dream party where I physically, you know that's the eric thomas um statement but I physically go into the future and see myself living my dream and then I come back into the present and I walk it out and I have that visualization every day and as much as possible.

I try to emotionally connect with that place. So having a dream party, I take 20 minutes a day and I just think I turned the phone off in a dark room with a hot tea and I just think I um I spend time allowing myself to embrace my now moments, not always be in the future, as little in the past as possible and embrace now the moment that would that is where we all need to be like in this moment right now, I feel that very powerfully. What are some of the people in your life that have been influential to you? Um Maya Angelou, very influential Colin Powell is someone I look up to. Warren Buffett is someone I really look at. Um and to life coaches that I love. Our Tony Robbins and lisa Nichols, lisa Nichols.

I don't think I've heard of her. I know the others. Yes, she's a she comes from Los Angeles. We have, she has an only son. Like I do, we have a story that's sort of similar. She had to come out of some hard places In order to live the life that she's living now and she is $1 million dollar publicly traded coaching company. And so I really love her message. Okay, so those are very influential. Is there any particular person that you have received some incredible nuggets of wisdom? You've shared some. But if there are any more that you would like to share on a personal level that I can go to their house and yeah, you know my friend victoria t she is the founder of um victoria's friends. It's a ministry that goes into the strip clubs and help strippers get out of the strip club. She gave me my first paid speaking engagement. She was my guinea pig when I was going through certification for coaching.

She allowed me to coach her pro bono. She also, um I mentored her at one time. She's now mentored me great. We encourage each other on writing our books and so she is like a warm cup of hot chocolate in my life. I mean she is just my comfy spot. She's always she's loving, she's caring and she's she's great. We all need a person like that definitely. And what are some tips you would give others? I mean you have given us a lot today. Thank you. But what are some things you would want to tell people to live their best self in the world? No. That you hold the pin to your life and you get to define you. I like that. Say that again, please. I know that you hold the pin to your life and you get to define you. Thank you. And are there some people in your life who have seen your changes in the past 7-10 years that haven't liked what they've seen and how have you handled that.

You know the beautiful thing and I thought I was going to talk about this instead of what I talked about. The beautiful thing about coming out of a family that rejected you all the time, that you were always not doing something right, made you get free from people pleasing and I had to gain confidence and so I think it's more so people will say Brenda Underwood, I remember when she used to sell drugs and we used to get weed from her and we used to snort cocaine with her and That has to be all that Jesus stuff. Yeah, that's fake. I think it's more of that than people not being pleased. I think there's a lot of people that knew me back in the day when I was selling, I've been 20 years sober, I hadn't sold drugs, you know, since my son was the pivotal point in that movie, but I think there's people that were back there that said thank goodness she got jesus because she was hell. Well yeah, I probably wouldn't be.

Um and I think that there's more of that than people who look at me now and say I don't like who she's become, so we just have to be proud of where we are in the moment to I think that's another we have, yeah, we have a one man audience. If jesus is happy bump all the others, I just, I have to get into a place because there's always going to be someone in the world in your circle that's not happy with what you're doing, but if jesus is happy with it. Yeah. And there was one more thing I know that you had shared with me previously, that I think would be helpful to our listeners to and that was about having a reference group of friends. Can you share a little bit about that Before we wrap up, a reference group is a john Maxwell term. I'm real big on giving credit where credit is due. Um john Maxwell is another person has been very influential for me. He believes that the people, the five people that pour into your heart most the five people that when they speak, you believe what they say, You know, because there are some people when they speak were like, I don't receive nothing.

You say? I don't believe that. But the five people who you believe what they say, they shape, who you become? It's kind of like that birds of a feather flock together. Show me the man and I'll show you his future. And for you to be involved with the five people who are closest to your heart, for them to be encouraging, uplifting and challenging people in your world when you think about them, do you think they challenged me to be a better person than I am to yesterday than I was yesterday? Or are they a drain? Are they a complainer? Are they a whiner? Are they always negative? Is there always something wrong then? You need to begin to distance yourself from that energy and begin to embrace energy that's going to empower you. That's going to encourage you. People will say to me Brenda, it's been raining in Georgia, aren't you? I said, look, it's sunshine in my world. The rain don't get to rain on my parade. I'm having a fabulous day. I'm on this side of the living healthy as an Ox.

I mean what more can I ask for? So when you distance yourself from those, maybe one or two that are in that circle, then you have room to bring in new, new, new and so you begin to seek out relationships that are going to be just that encouraging, challenging um that are going to shape you in a way that's going to be good for you in your world and you can do the same for them. It's not just about them pouring into you, it's you pouring into them. Iron sharpening iron. And that reference group is very important. I remember when I first read it and then taught on it, I looked at my reference group was like, I'm gonna be broke, busted and disgusted. And so I changed that out. I recently redid that exercise and I looked and I said, okay, there's three good in here to, to, you know when they call, I kind of look at the phone, like can I deal with the drama today and, and, and so now I have two spots open and I was very intentional who are already in my circle do I want to get to know on a better level.

And then one of them just called me out the blue and said, hey, you want to get together and go to dinner. I'm looking at the phone like, okay God, once you put it out there and then it happens happens a lot. Yes, Well, great. Thank you. Now one more tip and that is, we have talked previously on our podcast about vision boards and the importance of those and I learned another tip from you about those vision boards and I like doing the cutout paper ones, but it's a lot of fun and also very deep when you can do the visual ones, you can make on your digital digital digital vision boards. So you want me to share a tip like that. I have a digital vision board that has homes specifically in the area I want to live, which is santa barbara California. I want to have a beach house in santa. Barbara California has the color car. I want, it has the quotes that inspire the scriptures that inspire. It's very specific, very real because I can put on there exactly what I want because it's a digital layout and so I printed out in 8.5 by 14 and I have it in my workout room in front of my treadmill.

I have it in my bathroom where I'm beautifying myself every day. I have it in my office at home in my office, my physical north cross office that I have where I see my clients as well as I have it right next to my bed when I wake up. And so every day I look at that and I said the other day I said well it's about time for me to cross some things off of here because I've achieved them the power of gold visualization and now it's time for me to put some new stuff on there because there's some new, I've got some new things that I want to do and that makes it easier. The digital one. Yeah, I think it goes back to what we say a lot is that whatever you focus on really grows and that's where you have to be instead of looking back, especially whatever you focus on repeat. So if you're focused on the past and what you don't want the past, you're actually going to get more of what you don't want because that's where your focus is My final question.

If you were to leave this Earth today, what would you most want to be remembered for? I love Stephen Covey and in his book seven habits of highly effective people, he has you write your own eulogy and I want people, I want a room full of people and bright colored clothes. No black, no gray. I want some hot, I don't care if it's dead on winter. I want some hot pinks and fuchsia and purples and lavenders and yellows because I'm excited. Um and I want people to say because of her, I lived my dream because of her. She encouraged me to step out into what I was definitely afraid of doing because of her. I'm leaving a legacy for my Children because of Brenda Underwood. I'm living my winning life, awesome. Thank you Brenda. That just everything you've shared with us today really applies to what our audience is looking for on Hearts Rise up and we really appreciate you being here with us today and hope we can have you again on our show.

One more thing Brenda before we go, how can people get ahold of you or learn more about you? You can learn more about me at Breakthrough for Life dot com. All of that spelled out Breakthrough for Life dot com. I also have a Youtube channel called Breakthrough with Brenda or you can always give me an old fashioned phone call at 8559 to 3 Life. Thank you. Thank you again. And please listeners check out Brenda, see if you can get some tips and especially if you were encouraged today by something that she said put some time into it. Thank you. Hey there before you go. We hope today's show inspired you to awaken and unleash your own inner power to elevate yourself your life and the world please leave us a review on itunes because those reviews are important to our show, and we'd love for you to subscribe to our show and share this episode with others on your favorite social media channels.

Finally, are you rising up to your best self every day? Let us know more by reaching out to us at www. Hearts Rise up dot com. Yeah. Mhm, mm hmm.

Ep. 6 - You Hold The Pen To Your Life - An Interview with Brenda Underwood
Ep. 6 - You Hold The Pen To Your Life - An Interview with Brenda Underwood
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