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An Absolute Git

by Hollow Dell Media
June 7th 2021

Rob has gone loco in the new wave of sun and seems to be banging on about something called football this week, which might explain why he managed to manoeuvre his choice of film this week to 2001's... More

Hi, I'm adam and I'm rob and welcome to a brand new episode of the Holiday Media podcast. Here we are on a very special football ish Euro 2020, except 2021 because it was too expensive to rebrand special where we won't be talking about the actual game of football at all. I can hear the vuvuzelas celebrating. That's so 2000 and 10. Come on, that's the last time I cared. Well, it's a bit uh for those of our people, I'm sure they know that the english, they love their football there. Kick about and I'm very excited. We haven't had an international tournament for three years. Oh my stupid virus. It feels like it's every year, it doesn't feel like it's every year. It feels like it's never, it feels like it's never and it's finally here and I can't wait.

We're gonna win. It's coming home. Oh the poor, you poor lamb. It's gonna go, it's fine. We're gonna win. Is it? Yes, we're gonna win. We're gonna win. We're gonna win. Would you bet doesn't matter part of your life. Would you bet that we're gonna win your leg? I would bet nothing. Your hair go bald. Every every we lose you go bald. Everything every two years. I have to bet my mental health because the crushing agony of being knocked out again and again actually damages my heart. I have a very serious depressive week after we got tactile and I know it's not gonna happen this time because the boys won't let us down. We're going to win the euro. Okay fantastic. I think you should shave your head. I'm not going to shave my head because we might go out but we're not oh we might go out but we're going to win it. It's a sure thing, it's fine we're gonna win. Well yes I've been not going to be talking too much. I won't allow it. There's gonna be other things as well.

Things such as well. You're gonna do you're gonna do reviews and there's gonna be news. Yeah. I watched a Disney film live action at the cinema. Oh, I don't think I've ever done that before. What what what was it called? Cruel? Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah. That's what is sport is it's really good spoilers of the review. Okay, okay. It's very interesting. Very punky. That's all Vivienne Westwood. Westwood denies Carella. I like that. I like that. I think that of all, you know sometimes they pluck someone like the whole nurse ratchet thing. You think do we need a backstory for nurse ratchet? But with like Carella Deville. Yes, we need a back story really. I Want one. It depends how big the characters, I don't think nurse ratchet particularly she's iconic, but but but you don't think, I wonder what she was like because he represents the system. Like you don't need to know why. That's the thing. That's what gets me.

That's absolutely true. She just represents the system that's broken. Whereas Krell Otisville is one of the most evil characters in the history of Disney. You know, she's iconic. That's all I can say is the song in it. A kind of a good kind of in there Florence machine did a proper song which is a kind of based on it. I wonder if Florence was skinned in the movie. Yes, yes. And the machine did it? The machines Florence was skinned by her own machine. Which one is the machine? Is that the drummer? I just bought the machine was the band, which is a bit kind of that could be wrong, cause that sounds a little bit condescending. I'm Florence. Your machine, you're collectively, I do all of this and you hit record. Yes, so maybe that's not the case. Maybe the machine is the recorder, Maybe the machines, the mike. And you know what's worse is if you get the band of rage against the machine because they just come in and yell out a machine and not like you're good, so Florence, you're fine, but a machine like you are useless, You stand at the back, can you do nothing?

So I just managed to binge all the taskmaster. Later steps, later series, miss so many episodes and there's a brilliant bit where mike, Wozniak, the best guess since bob mortimer has to undermine evolve. Great. And I imagine that's very similar ratings machine running point at the band into you. You've got no chutzpah, you're nothing, you've got your nothing. Also work the other day. Read someone type owed, they want to say, someone embraces the technology, but they mistyped embarrasses the technology, which I thought, I thought you you're really saucy, you know your keyboard, I can see your wires. No. Are you embarrassing me? I've been watching uh just to take it away from football. I've been watching the documentary. Never given about Sir Alex Ferguson, the famous football manager.

It's incredible. Amazon Prime. Um It's about like he's like McGovern boy, he starts off as a little boy in Scotland. He's looking back on his life and it kind of coincides with a brain hemorrhage he had two years ago and he's trying to um it goes to him like desperately trying to cling on to like his memory. He's becoming really worried that the brain hemorrhage is going to cause him to forget everything, all of his memories his wife has passed. Winning with Aberdeen and Man United. Oh that's important. It's very good. It's very important but now it was very touching documentary. Um And there's a lot of like life lessons in there I guess about management and about the psychology of motivating people. So if you're yeah if you want to be motivated by one of the greatest motivators in sporting history Miss the motivator yes himself then just type of mr motivator on Youtube. But then if you want to go to the second best one type and never give in on amazon and watch hulk Hogan watch hulk Hogan what's the hulk Hogan, he's the greatest american.

No, no he's not, I don't know about hulk Hogan, I don't really know enough about him but he looks like, I don't know Hogan was my hero, he's the best. Just look sweaty and yeah in a bad way. I don't like his town to sweat right? Anyway. Anyway. Anyway, Hogan knows best. Did you know that? Yeah. Um that's what they say. They wanted to call Wolverine hulk Logan did you? But they couldn't get rights for the hope that the movie Logan lucky was going to be called a Hogan Lucky. Yeah. O jobs. Sorry, it's very warm. Can I just point out it's very warm. You might be able to hear some noises from outside because the window has to be opened or we'll die. Yeah and there's use outside and it was horrible. But anyway, I want to talk about our film for today. Oh yes, Yes, indeed. So last time we had raw we had raw 2,016 French cannibal fun times.

We did indeed. So now from BBC Studios Raw is a film about a french girl of a hereditary urge for eating human flesh and is a cannibal, much like Sir Anthony Hopkins character Hannibal in the movie, Hannibal Hannibal also stars Gary Oldman who starred in 1988 football Hooligan film. The firm. The firm also stars steve Mcfadden of Eastenders fame, who plays Phil Mitchell in the iconic british soap opera Eastenders he sent us has been shoved onto BBC I player in a few weeks when the euro's kick off the euros is a football tournament that usually takes place every four years and involves the best teams in europe, battling out the top spot. The England squad includes carbon phillips who is currently playing for leeds among leads, past players. A certain Vinnie jones who is renowned for his violence on the football pitch, which is somewhat convenient as this week's movie starring Vinnie jones involving a massive amount of violence on a football pitch is mean. Machine wow. Really let into your knowledge, didn't it? It was right out there with po commands and Mario, well, someone's got to be the sports journalist and this cure and I guess it's me.

Very good. So mean, Machine Mean Machine 2001. As we said, Vinnie Jones. Yeah. Looking forward to talking about all this football stuff. Makes sense now. Yeah. Now we know the rules well, that it didn't, they've had a bit where the goalkeeper pastor the defender and it was blown for offside. So, come on man. What's that about during the game? That's anyway, go on to the review review. Come on. England Adams. Film Reviews, Cruella. 2021 from the very beginning, I realized I saw the world differently than everyone else.

Mhm. Yeah. That didn't sit well with some people, but I wasn't for everyone, I guess. They were always scared that I'd be a psycho. A new day brings new opportunities. A I was ready to make a statement. Yeah. How does the same girl I am woman! Hear me roar. Originally announced way back in 2013. Carella is the latest in a long line of live action adaptations created by the omnipotent Disney rather than a straight remake. Carella marks a slight shift in tone as it moves to tell the origin story of Carella Deville. Specifically the Corolla Deville scene in the 19 nineties live action adaptation of 101 Dalmations ish. After many, many years behind the scenes drama, it eventually failed to I Tonya director Craig Gillespie to direct the picture with writing credits eventually falling on Dana Fox and Tony McMorrow.

And I can safely say this is the first Disney live action film but not only was I interested in seeing, but that I actually got up and went to see at the cinema no less, but anyway, opening in 19 sixties Britain we meet estella Miller, played by first Billy Gadson and then tipper Seifert Cleveland, a creative genius with an eye for fashion and extremely short temper instead of mean streak was enough to earn the nickname Carella told to rain. Carella in estella could not resist her urge to play up and take the world on with clenched fists. He doesn't take long before Costello is thrown out of school and without any options left, she's taken by her mother, Katherine, played by Emily beaching to London to try and cater to her abilities. But first a stop see Catherine doesn't have much in the way of well anything and provide for her and her daughter. Catherine decides to roll a hard six and drives her and her daughter to the vast Helmand estate debate for money from a mysterious benefactor some hijinks later, and instead of finds herself on the run from material of slobbering, vicious dalmatians from hell.

When we hit arguably the most controversial point of the entire film, it may be a small spoiler, but an important one, and one likely you have had spoiled anyway to spend any time on social media lady the dalmatians in pursuit of a stellar redirect their attention at the last minute to the sweet Catherine, while she argues with an older woman, levy and Catherine, the dalmatians hit her and aesthetic can only watch in horror as her mother tumbles over a wall over a cliff to her doom. Now, instead of quickly flees the mansion and more by chance, and still finds herself in London orphaned, terrified and alone, though not for long with a pet dog in tow, Estella finds herself in the company of two pickpockets and thieves. Jasper and Horace Badman, played respectively. At this point by Ziggy Gardner and joseph Macdonald 10 years later, and Estella, now played by Emma Stone, along with Jasper and Horace, now played by Joel fry in the quite wonderful pool, walter Houser, uh huh.

Quite literally thick as thieves from their home in an old abandoned factory. The trio earned their trust through acts of petty thievery river Stella's natural ability for fashion, earning her the role of the Skies maker for their numerous schemes. While the group have developed a correspond for estella, it just isn't enough for a dangerous mixture of alcohol and resentment. Estella earns the attention of the sinister baroness von Helmand, played predictably by Emma, Thompson, and Estella is soon drafted into the baroness fashion empire as an aspiring designer. Now the baroness, narcissistic, shrewd and powerful woman. In many ways it's smart enough to spot genius where it exists and Costello is soon her right hand woman. But when, instead of spots a familiar item of jewellery, she begins to find that her history and indeed her mother's death are more tied into a new boss than she first expect, Estella begins to allow Carella to once again show herself. But as her earnest desire to retake what she believes is, hers begins to develop into an unhinged lust for power, Carella begins to truly earn her name, isolating her friends, an adoptive family while she declared open war on the baroness.

But how far will Kralik go to destroy her competitor And what dark secret ties them together? Now? Cruella is a true breath of fresh air and unexpectedly unhinged, set firmly in the 1970s. The film takes a heavy influence from the growing punk culture of the time, taking the character of creditor bill out of the furs and flapper dresses and firmly into the leather buckles and boots of the era, transforming her into a Vivienne Westwood type rather than the familiar look and feel the audience might be used to. This is an extremely positive change. It turns out the costumes were in fact designed by jenny Bevan, who many will recognize as the costume designer for the peerless, Mad max, Fury Road, which explains a lot. The soundtrack is almost exclusively made up of bangers, the happy tapping my foot, particularly the incredible use of Iggy Pop, I wanna be your dog for a regions park fashion show that was pure sex pistols. The story, all its worth as well told though, there were some serious pacing issues around the middle of the film, escalating action and the downfall of Corella were both there in abundance, but there seemed to be this weird need to drag in emotion and family values, which just fell unnecessary and also helped pad the runtime to an almost unforgivable 2.5 hours, the true strength.

Whereas in the characters of Carella, particularly Carella herself, also Jasper and Horace, who delivered the perfect blend Of bumbling idiocy and lovable road to the story. Also worth noting, is the dogs in the film who are just smart enough to establish the future hijinks of 101 Dalmatians that are yet to come. So in summary, Carella is way too long, but a fun story with some great character performances and a banging sound. That's live action. Disney films go, this is definitely worth the watch and don't bother watching on Disney Plus, for God's sake, get out there and watch us in your local cinema, They need you. I, okay, thank you the Sun, I'm crewing. Welcome to Fortnite Short night. Mclovin has turned 40. Seth Rogan has posted on his twitter. A shot of the now iconic fake I. D. From the 2000 and seven movie superbad. Mclovin was born on the third of june 1981. Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg wrote this joke when they were 14 years old, according to the Twitter Post, which is both admirable and somewhat painful to think about.

So this is not the news, easiest news I've ever used, but I wanted to bring up because I've just read Yearbook, which is Seth Rogan's very recently released collection of memoirs and it's absolutely hilarious. Um but there's a lot in there, you see how it's comedy develops inspiration for the movies. Um Yeah, it's very cool. There's a lot of horrific meetings with celebrities in there like Nicolas Cage and uh, tom Cruise and George Lucas, like very painful meetings with very weird celebrities and lots of hilarious drug stories. Yeah, very much recommend the book. If you hate Seth Rogan, don't go anywhere near it because you read it in his voice. It is the, yeah, he, he reads as he speaks, kind of his voice can do is laugh, do is have broken off. It's all right. I don't know. Uh, is there an anecdote to explain why he tried to assassinate the north Korea has a whole chapter on it. Really good. And it's fascinating that they had a letter posted them from North Korea, like to the studio saying this is an act of terrorism and an act of war, my God, and all of this.

And like obviously Obama had to get involved in stand up in front of like the world effectively and say like we won't like respond to these threats from north Korea. It's just a farce and all of this stuff is pretty crazy. And he had to, they had a scene in the movie where king jong un's head explodes okay. And in the original car they went full indiana jones. Seth Rogan literally said to the the effects people, they said, we want uh, Raiders of the lost ark meets scanners, right? The most glorious explosion. And uh, they, they spent ages back and forth, back and forth until one day Seth Rogan was at premier. He took a lot of M. D. M. A. And then he got pulled into a room and said, so if you need to decide now, what are we doing with this head without a massive international issue and he's rolling his nut off to decide that that's not good. Neither of those are good. I want to do neither of those things. Uh Yeah this ours like literally just laughing out loud the entire time was really very funny.

I couldn't recommend more. Yeah definitely. It's too short, it's too short. That's why I say write another one. Seth Rogan. Um Yeah, so moving on indiana jones four attempt to is beginning filming in the UK this week. Yeah that's right. Harrison ford fantasy kingdom. It's time to sniff the Old Codger out. Although reports suggest that some of the filming will take place at bambara Castle in Northumberland. Yeah. It's interesting we have a castle indiana jones since the last crusade. That spooky one in Austria. Yeah that's the second last one. Yeah. Yeah. The last one. Yeah. Yeah. The last field. Too many castles. Yeah. Leave it to the next one. But interesting. Yeah. So I didn't know Mads Mikkelsen is going to be in it. I heard that recently. Was that announced like maybe within the month? I think I missed it but it's too out july. What did you say? Nothing. What did you say? Missing the news? You know I'm sorry for missing your news.

Sorry for missing your news, July 29, 2022 in the UK is when it's going to come out apparently what 2022 starting to film this week, There's going to film this week and they want it done by january July 29 next year even so that's what squeeze. It's just gonna be one big green screen I think. Yeah, maybe who knows? Um moving on, Evil dead, Evil devil begin shooting next month in new Zealand the story is about to exchanged sisters whose reunion is cut short when flesh possessing demons frost them into a battle for survival. According to the Hollywood reporter. Um It's not gonna be in the woods this time, which we've known for a while, it's gonna be in a city. Um It's been so many weeks since Evil Dad's been in the news. This has been our longest thing. Yeah. Well we sort of did mention Bruce Campbell last year. So we're so we're keeping him. That's interesting. I mean we knew we kind of do that anyway, didn't we? We? Yeah. I wonder if tonally direction this country more like Ash first you did.

They are ignoring the remake. So it has to be sillier. I don't know if it will be sillier. I think it might be closer in time to 2013. I think I'll be in between 2013 and Evil Dead two. Well I suppose you did have some horror. Yeah. Have you finished that soon as yet? No, I know. I'm sorry I got used and alone and afraid. Do you know what it is? I lost what particular episodes from the beginning? No, because I've watched the school you know in serious readers, a school episode I watched I've accidentally watched that three times and we got my nerves now had to watch that girl get piano skewered face too many times. She's wired by the piano's Absolutely the heart, isn't it? Yeah, absolutely horrific, horrific there. Um Yeah, I love that show. Um Fat Four is no more house out for a TMZ headline. Sorry for saying that Fat Fat Four. As in th four, Fat Four is no more shooting on four.

Love and Thunder has wrapped right to celebrate this. We got a photo of chris Hemsworth alongside Taika Waititi. And Hemsworth looks like a complete beefcake. Yeah, he does. He looks like he looks like he swallowed up pianos ridiculously large. And someone I saw this on twitter and someone underneath put a picture of him on uh must be made to work Tony completely different man. He looks like he's eight because because he's got like a very good physique in the first ball moving and in Ragnarok you know, you're getting pretty shredded now man and now he's just Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah, like it's crazy. Yeah, I wanted to throw us in because I just wanted to mention that's old news now. But did you see the whole Taika Waititi getting reprimanded by marvel for being yes, snapped, enjoying some slightly frivolous company. I did hear about it. I haven't seen the pictures, I'm going to look them up. So yeah, so what you do? So type in like Tyco y T t rita aura and Tessa Thompson and it'll come up. But basically like this, there sat the three of them on a bench together.

Somewhere private and like they're giggling and hugging and like having a little kiss and having like a frivolous time that completely harmless and it's all like everyone's going mental. Alright studios. I don't get grown adults. They're grown adults. But yeah, so like marvel, what did marvel say? Marvel said something strange. So I mean, so okay, let's try the picture. I'm looking out in front of me. Title, teeth is the written Torah and what's the name? Tessa Thompson test, Thompson just sat around a small table and it looks like they're having a freeway kits. Yeah, but they were all giggling. Yeah, we're just joking. Probably a bit tipsy is I don't know like, I think the Australian Daily Mail or something got a hold of the photos and then like marvel is like you crossed the line, you crossed the line with your, with your strange non, you know, for missed relationships. I thought they were all about promoting different sexualities. Yeah. Do what you want? What's wrong with the frontal? Are you saying you have an issue with a couple?

Yeah, marvel. Yeah. What's your, what's your problem marvel? Yeah, spit it out. three people can enjoy a freeway kids. They said something online. This is hardly something we want to promote it or something. It's not like he's doing kids films. No, he's doing, he's doing like, wow these kids with adult. Yeah, but it's not like he's not like he's a yeah, the host of Blue Peter. No, that's that'd be different because he'd be a role model. He's just a guy man. There's no one here and he's a known bit of a party animal. Yeah. I don't know. It's very I mean I mean he's just living the life isn't What a what a man what a what a brilliant genius. Filmmaking. Comedy. Gold Women kissing git. Absolutely. Yeah. Took the word from my mouth. What an absolute fetid pile of bastard. Anyway, so good for him, good for him for him and good for Tessa Thompson and good for retail.

Yeah. It's good for some concludes for nice fortnight. I'm doing some coffee at London Crown Court this morning. Ex England football captain Danny. Mean was jailed for three years. Not dangerous. Are you mr footballer? If you've got the fullness Governor wants you to coach my football team. Yeah. I just want to do my time and get on my life. If you don't play ball, you could be with us for some time. Listen, tell the governor the best way to train the guard is to play a really tough match against a team of cons Could be win, win for everybody. What we need is 11 men applies a team, right? Yes, it's lovely, don't it? Will it? What's that? I'm your manager. Since when is your man? We still need a goalkeeper. A legendary monk. That dude is beyond mental. I heard he ate Hannibal the cannibal like Mr monk. Can you play football? We're playing the guards with let's win and let's win.

Well it's getting hot out there bob. Oh yeah, but very rioja Nerio lose and now never let you forget it daniel cream for unless you want to be nothing Numbers prisoners, that's fine. Run your guts out and you'll have something in here they can never touch. We'll give you a match. You'll give us a game with you can match us. Just look at our boys decked out all in black. Very hopeful. You know, it's definitely black Club boy Mr sykes. You look the pop. All you need now is a I think it's in everyone's interest. If you lose this, I can't do that. You're unbelievable. Still nil nil. But if this was boxing the main machine, well ahead on points. So, you get out there and hurt some people. What's happening? You said you said you start and then you do a football pan. No. Is that what you said? I said, let's take us off football. Right, Okay.

So I don't have to do a football plan because my mind just went blank. I don't have any of the football boy I said before I start recording. Kick yourself rope. Yellow card. All right, shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Everyone mean machine, wow. Okay, so this is a this is in a time where so football's as, as far as I remember football in 2000 and one was massive remembering them flags a lot more. Obviously. 2002 is when the World Cup was, Is that when the Italians 1, 2 $1000 in brazil one? Well what's one 1002 was when David Seaman got lobbed. I believe It was just a year before they were in Italy €1.2000 and they was it. That all I remember was suddenly we were very aware of the hitch and had a lot of italian people in because they were things that people driving around honking the horn. They wonder is we've got okay, they won the World Cup in 2006, maybe. That's yeah, that's probably it.

Um, but yeah, so this is, this is interesting because this is a football redemption story and I think redemption was quite heavy in the eyes of the british public and footballers at the time because it was a couple of years before Beckham words got us out of the World Cup, I was going to say so. Danny Megan. All right, Danny Meehan. Yeah. So he's a distress football and played by vinnie jones. Obviously football in the past. Um, for Wales. I'm Wimbledon. Uh, he's the stress football because he took a die, essentially took a dive, but he, he deliberately missed the free kick. He hacked and gave Germany a penalty of silly, very suspicious looking foul. But there's talk about free kicks and penalties throughout the early part, which is exactly what everyone felt about. Beckham, Yeah. Beckham, that might have been the moment I stopped liking football. By the way. It's very I was heartbroken. I cried my eyes out. Yes, sir, Beckham, he was happy that never again flicked his fix his foot up.

The argentine player went down like a sack of poo. It was never a red card. They can all go to hell. I digress, digress. But then Beckham had a redemption story went on and won the trouble with United's made history. So this is very much in that kind of ilk of disgraced footballer has a chance at redemption. Yes. So yes. Mean machine in 2001 film directed by like someone straight out of film school as well as we can tell. Barry Skolnick never heard of him. And he's done to stuff two things on imdb, yep. A boy it I think he did tv commercials. So you might Have done something around football, which would make sense because of the end football game was very well edited and short. But anyway, yeah, so mean machine, it's an adaptation of the 1970 for American film, the longest yard with but Reynolds playing american football and yeah, and same concept, dye goes off the rails, A celebrity off the rails, there's drinking, there's punching ends up in prison.

If so I've seen the longest adam Sandler, longest yard um If it's anything if it's the same as the original and they're absolutely identical, but they're just apart from the editing of the sport because it's a different sport. Yeah. Um Yeah, machine, I've got good memories of the machine. I think I had it on tape. It was around the time I watched it. I don't know if I watched it this first or euro trip first. I think I watched his first because I think you're a trip was 2004 but is around the time where everyone for Vinnie Jones was hilarious and called him really scary because lock, lock stock and slash snatcher just come out. This came out, he was in euro trip as an angry football Hooligan. He was around a lot at this time. Post football career. Mm He's one of those faces just saw everywhere for a while. Do you know what he reminds me of? Quite obviously he reminds me of when you're in school and there is a school bully who is so insanely terrifying, you wouldn't do anything to anger them. There's just, there's a kid from that rough part of town who's got that look like he's right. He knows how to fight.

Well, I have to say. I thought this certainly The film will get onto the plot, but the film is a film of 2/2ves for the first half, Vinnie jones's character, Danny. He's kind of rubbish. Like Vinny doesn't look like he wants to be there no energy. He's a far cry from what we know from Lock Stock. Yeah, he really, because this is Billy Jones 1st leave role before then he was just supporting you just turn up as a hit man or something. But the first half he just looks sullen. He looks like he doesn't want to be, there could be acting because that's what the character is feeling. But at the same time just look at him and you're not the leading man. Yeah. What I know of the American one, but Reynolds is the leading man. Oh yeah, straight from the off from what the trailer we just saw. Burt. Reynolds is a charming, charismatic, fearless character who kind of gets the better of people in conversation with wit And yet Burt Reynolds the quarterback who will tackle anything driver's license.

Well look what we got here. A miniature cop, the superstar. I feel so good for me. It's good. The, the all America be all amazing. A joker of a jock who laughed all the way to prison. The one saying that you're going to have to remember is to protect your quarterback go. It is not what me han is. It's all my hand is kind of, I'm gonna keep my head down and occasionally given what you comment, but kind of looking like I just want to get in and get out and get out and doesn't have any real witty, snarky comments really, does he? There's there's one or two but I can't remember barely uh, what's, what's, what's more interesting is the characters around him. Yes, So there's various characters. Danny dyer has a nice showing as billy believe olympic, Billy, Billy, olympic.

Uh most Danny dyer of all Danny, you die roles. He's played, we've got David kelly is the old Wise and doc is a former bomber. Got Vas Blackwood who play massive, he's the comedy sidekick in a way, which one was here? He's the he's the guy who gets beaten by the guards and say, yeah, of course, most recognizable from lots of two smoking barrels where he's brilliant. Yeah, you've got all these interesting characters and of course, there's Jason steffen playing Monk, the Scottish madman who steals the show absolutely steals the show. Every, every scene. The monk Monk. Can you play what you say? Because I turned pro before he turned mad. How mad is he? He's the job that even the shots are afraid of. What do you do? Something very jack up of Glasgow to enable the cannibal listen, let me tell you something. Not even the pope could get him out. Special is the best thing in the film when he's in it.

Yeah, there's just a look when they first meet him and the manic stare he gives them just and then he has these weird day dreams during the game where he pictures himself like destroying everyone, brutally beating the living daylights out of them. Then maybe Ron is just like having a great time saving the day. All right, big man. Sound um done him in. It's all right now, what I mean? It's gonna be a favor. I ask you. Hello, Mr Monkey, Can you play football? All right, good mm. Would you like to play with us, man? Right, we're playing the guards. Hi, I'm with you. Sand. Thanks a lot. Mr Monk. Yeah, Jason suggested this was again before Jason Statham really became a leading man and I suspect this is this is a big step in. This was the risk. That might have been the one that took him out because obviously he was in the lock stock and and then snatch and then this and then I guess I don't know when transport came out because that would go from this to transport.

Mm threats. Find out Jason stay firm. Let's look at Jason state because there's so much in this movie to talk about what he went. Yeah, you're right. Mean machine transporter and then italian job as handsome rob playing me. What do you I uh and yeah, just kicked off from there. Really? I still need to watch some of these mechanic resurrection. Do you know what we need to watch? Is the Midnight Meat train. Oh yes, we're talking about ages ago. So we, we, we've, we've been talking about watching the Midnight Meat train for ages. If anyone has seen it, messages make us watch it because it's Vinnie jones is a psycho killer on the London underground, isn't that right? Yeah. So that's something along those lines. We were recommended to watch that by the butcher who supplied the guts for Kroger's. Yeah, fun. That was a fantastic. So you see, vinnie jones is integral to the making of followed. I mean, it's very true. What a guy we, but get back on subject. There's not much to talk about on paper of this.

No, you guys is the only thing really with this film, there's, there's, there's, there's not much like, there's a plot, he goes to prison, the guards, there's a bad, like prison warden who is a gambling addict and he wants vinnie jones to train the prison warden at the prison guard team to be the best so he can continue to win bets and trophies. And he's David hemmings played the governor. Well the smoking voice actor, smoking voice actor who looks like an owl. Don't look like I've got our eyes, I've got the eyes of a tourney out. I'm in gladiator yelling at slaves. Yeah, he's, he's quite a presence. But tell you what the, that, the chief guard, you've got ralph Brown who plays a prison guard, the sort of head guard. He's one of my favorite british actors of that era. I think alien free particularly good. Again, there's sort of angry warden man, Yeah, grumpy, intimidating man, no nonsense and all that.

And one of the more interesting characters in this film because he actually has an arc. Yes, he does. And he's an honorable man. He's an honorable, honorable man. Yes, so very quickly. I mean that's 11 positive having I'm sick of long convoluted films. One of the best things about this is it gets pretty much straight into it, doesn't mess around, it sets up my hand getting arrested for drunk driving and then he's in prison and then the story starts and almost straight away he's in prison and he's sent to the governor who says, I want you to coach my football team. Yeah, literally, yeah, but lets you have a couple of minutes sometime tomorrow. Governor wants a word, he wants you to coach my football team. Little word of advice, You're gonna smile nicely and say no. So right away you've got the conflict, You get an idea of the world.

Then a massive approaches me and says, why don't you suggest the guards play a team of prisoners? Um, and this is like within 20 minutes. In fact, I paused at the point when they start getting people applying to be in the team, the tryouts, I guess. That's 20 minutes. That's just crazy. She's crazy film I review this week that didn't even stop the credit at that point. Honestly, if this film had that, if this film had an extra 20 minutes on it before it kicked in, it would have been unbearable. It would not have been a good film at all. It would have been very painful. And by the time we got to all of this, we've been bored. So well yeah, that was one point I disagree with because So the 20 minutes in, they kind of starting to get the team together and they're having no luck because they're being sort of pushed down. And there's a guy called Sikes played by john ford.

Um He was kind of the he owns, he runs his prison. He's the mob boss who's been locked away in his yeah, he owns, he owns the guy and he's got his doctor guys who he's kind of in the pocket of the governor ish. And his guys are stopping people from from trying out. But me and gets everyone's respect when he steps in and helps massive was being beaten to a pulp by one of the racist guards. But that happens with a sting of really sad, sappy music and slow mo and dreaming and I just felt that came too soon. I mean, nothing happened before that really. But by this point, no one care about anyone, really don't even care about me and you need to set up. And I wonder if massive, maybe should have died in that scene. But I guess he needed to be the manager was I guess it was him winning the respect. I guess if you want a more emotional punch again it'll be too early. Yeah. If you have, if he was later on, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah.

To I mean if you had about 10 minutes of him looking out massive looking out for me and yeah, being his only friend helping him out, if there was more of that, that it would have felt it just it just felt too soon for a big epic sad. Yeah. No, you're right. You're right. I agree. Um but yeah, after that, I mean me and wins the respect of uh Roz Trojan and Jerome, one of them played by the wonderful um it gilly. Yes. He's been having a bit of a regular on the show. Yes, but he's got more of his films in Danny boy, we're coming in star, they're saying thanks for saving massive. Where's your manners? What would your old mum say? Why? We should matter. Well, let's see how good you are, sort yourselves out, skins, V shirts. Yeah. What's that? I'm your manager since when? Look, don't bother giving no orders.

Yeah. Stop bitching bitch. Then I have a word. Shut it, massive toilets. Can we go cool. Come down plenty of them over there. Um Not to mention that Sally fields, isn't it? Sally lovely. Sally phillips playing Tracy. Sally phillips, Tracy, the most boring secretary name ever. But she's wonderful. She is wonderful. And she's not an accent. Yes, she does. She's got a carmela cornish accent. It's a bit like it's a bit sort of hot far, it's a bit hot. Yeah. Yeah but stuff yeah stuff continues to happen but you get the gist of it to match it culminates in a big match of football. Yeah, basically. I mean that's where the whole film is taking you. There's a bit of intrigue with a dodgy man. The only man in the prison to be wearing a red Nazi s armband is the body which is literally a red flag. Yeah yeah quite literally. Um he's in the working with one of the racist guard.

In fact he was being a massive uh to stop it happening. So rigs a bomb we take out me. Does he does he get supplied the parts or is he just part he's got like uh the only thing you really see of it is a mousetrap still scavenged bits. You can't you can't scavenge explosives in a prison county. That very bad. Very bad security. very, very bad. I mean probably doesn't take that much if you know what they are, it wasn't that big an explosion, I always would have blown out the true, but there's so there's intrigue stuff happens. Um But yeah, the main figures, the game, the game the beautiful game and from literally from the halfway mark, the energy just jumps up becomes much Winston. You've got instant use of music and upbeat. You've got the the difference between the guards and the prisoners and the guards. It's not no, no, no, no, no.

Oh yeah, it was very scary, intimidating and then come to the prisoners and uh and then like during the game there's like there's hallmarks of football in there, there's like Robbie Williams, let me entertain you as on there. Which I just associated with their song snapping every other recording calling, who did I call? Mhm. He was like, who? Never mind. Hello, lock your phone. It's always normally look, why is it not locking at the moment rob just found someone that about this. We kept in. But what are you doing? I'm trying to look at the football match was great. I really enjoyed the football match. I thought, yeah, like you say, Well edited. Well, cut so many edits, So many cuts. Yeah, we were curious how they filmed it. The one Yeah, I like, I think what it was was they actually had them play as much football as possible and I think you were right in saying so maybe they did something where a ball almost went in but didn't then you probably picked up some shots to support that master shot.

Yeah, yeah, that's how I imagine it. And there was there was obviously bits that had to be in it. Like the goals. Yeah. And once again monks played it to Trojan who's again switched to the left bob. Must be ambidextrous bob. I don't know about that, but he certainly can use both feet I'm talking about. Yeah, it's I mean yeah, it's your 1970s rough and tumble football what dad's used to play. Yeah, very much so. The the one yeah, elbows in the It's 1970s long haircut and like tiny shorts football starts on the N. F. I. That's sort of wonderful stuff. The one kind of bit of comedy violence that really jarred it for me was the aiming the football at the nuts. Um So there was a bit where vinnie jones has to take a free kick and the racist prison guard is lined up in the war and he kicks, it hits him in the nuts and then they get another free kick straight away and does the same thing.

And it's very I don't know, it's like a kid's movie with the rest of you. You for standing split on my run. I want a choice. Me and to take it looks like it might chip this one book. Right and ratchets, Crown jewels. Take more than magic spots to take this thing out of that bob. Hey, Right, tight grip that was bloody deliberate. Free kick and fall protect yourself at all times. Also, why didn't he turn Yeah, you do. It doesn't matter how hard you kick a football and if you're holding your hands, yeah, you're fine, you're fine. Train. Train a bit silly. There's lots of use of sound effects that are very uh caucus. So when it gets hit in the balls there's a there's a tree. What some stuff got you? All right? All right in his carrots and onions? No nookie for mr ratchett. No nookie for mrs Ratchet. Never playoff. Yeah it's fun. I'm not a fan of it but it was done really well and there's like spots of music to match the tone. Yeah. Of what's going on.

There's a great deal with jilly pump. Just punching a guy straight, punching him getting sent off and No no no no it's fake. It's faking what punch? Um Yeah but we got to say about Obama Jilly's football skills. He's definitely played in a few playgrounds in his time isn't he? Like he's got touch Well assume unless it was a double but it didn't look like a double. No no definitely not. I mean he's from London she's not a kick the ball around Phil there were some actually there's a note here, there are some match what football is in there, charlie Hartfield. I'm not gonna know they're going to Sheffield United. Ryan giggs was in there. What's heated in? Yeah, Ryan giggs then playing for manu and well and Wales uh yeah, so there's there's some people slaughtered in there. There's also a very, very out of place looking old man cheering in the prison. Oh yeah, the story down, another Bad example of not telling your extras to properly after American part two.

Yeah, we have to point out as well, the comedy really amps up in the dame as well because you've got two guys in the commenting both from Livestock. Um yeah, and they've got a little kind of report bob and they start fighting whenever all the players start fighting, they start fighting. Yes, overall is, it's a fun. Second half. The first half is necessary, but it's a bit of a slog. It's not it never really lifts up. No, but yeah, it's all up to the to the football game. I I think it's definitely like, it kind of reminded me of the Web Web Wolf Strippers. What was that film we watched a couple of weeks ago? Is that lads Mag kind of uh right, we know what you guys want, you want to get you wanna film about football and prisoners and violence or strippers, violence. It's just that that kind of thing will give a shit. It's not going to be very it's not going to be very pretty, but it's going to do the job. Well, I find it interesting.

That mean machine, because I've got fond memories of it. I definitely I probably recorded it off Virgin Media or something because I watched it. I probably watched a few times along with everything else. But the reviews are bad. Yeah, I mean first on both fronts, martyrs, which I don't really trust. Anyway. The 34% tomato meter and 72% audience. That's very telling, isn't it? So I would say it's not a particularly special film but it is fun and that's probably what that reflects its fun, structurally storytelling script wise. It's been near the mirror. Uh Well, I'll tell you one thing if you, if you do like football and you want to get hyped up for the euros, just watch it because I did actually get a feeling of like come on during the final game. Alright, that's true. So if you're a football fan and you want to get revved up, I would say definitely watch it. I do find some of the uh Detroit. The review quotes clinton by the final whistle. You're convinced that this mean machine was a decent tv outing but just doesn't have extreme magic.

Uh it's mildly entertaining, especially if you find comfort in familiarity, but my favorite one or some Jamie see a super reviewer, an audience reviews on rotten tomatoes who says a proper british film made only for us. I read a lot of comments saying oh it was terrible because it's tier english. Well yeah, because it's an english film. It's our version of the longest yard. These americans need to remember. They're not the only country that makes films. This film itself is very funny. Jason steffen was a psychotic Scotsman was brilliant. I thought the main football match at the end could have been a bit better, but it was still a good film with a great easy to like cast. Jamie C four stars but which is a fun one. Uh Phil hates describes the cast, the supporting cast as the happy go lucky guy, The raster type guy, the nutjob, the psycho, the fat Middle eastern guy, the wise old Irishman and the head honchos.

The raster type guy. Well that's just the that's trojan, isn't it? It's just it's just smoking cigarettes. The prison is your standard british board and lodgings. Tiffany looks like an old school. I said that it reminded me of school who was filmed in prison. Yeah, and I did it did look like his film is sort of an old victorian. Uh Yeah, no, it's uh probably better in my memory than it was watching it again. Yeah, Yeah, I agree. Yeah, it's certainly not one for the Hall of Fame but it was Yeah, we have fun, we enjoyed it. Yeah. No. Yeah, probably more of the nostalgia thing. Yeah. I just want to leave on review. Your hate from Jeff be first of all, soccer isn't football dancing around with his south roundball? Nothing mean about that. Getting hit head on by a guy who does a full.440 now. That's mean. I've heard the movie was funny, but 100 year old waterville jokes are not my idea of funny.

Let me know what's Burt Reynolds them that probably kid to this gentleman. Let me remind him. But it has a british man. I will not learn myself to say anything negative about his sport because there's no need the sport does it on its own like the 100 year old board will jokes that just hitting people in the balls. I don't know. Yeah, probably because border bills bottom, isn't it? So that really sort of Jeff B. We don't serve your kind here unless you're listening. Thank you very much for listening. Yeah. Move on. Adam's film Reviews. Army of the day 2021. So we took turns the staring out the window at the darkness to boredom overtook us. And he began to speak. He said, son, I've made a life out of reading people's faces. Think about one thing we did. All those people who say the way the hell they're right. Look what it does. You don't mind my see what if I can see you're out of a sense of just once Taste of you with we did something just for us.

Right? Mhm. You ready to play? There's $200 million dollars in the vault beneath the strip With a 32 hour window to get it out. Find the same. Mhm. This should be a simple in and out. Mhm. It's not too late to go back. You're going to play the game, you got to learn. You can right run what Army of the Dead is a zombie heist film straight from the Brain of Zack Snyder who both writes and directs, along with some additional writing credits for Shay Hatton and Joby Harold back to his zombie roots. There is a surprising amount of hype around Army of the Dead, which Snyder's described A spiritual successor to his 2004 debut, dawn of the dead, notably written by the incredible James Gunn. Before I continue, I have to point out, I am utterly sick to death of zombies. But I was recommended this film by many, many people who all summed up the film as not that bad glowing praise.

I think you'll agree now onto the film after a painfully long and unnecessary opening scene involving a pair of newlyweds recreating the film crash with a military convoy, code named four horsemen. A secure storage container is smashed open, allowing something that was once human to escape. Soon murdering and infecting the clueless soldiers here, a genuinely found and society montage of the fall of las Vegas, complete with topless zombie strippers chasing down men in smoking jackets, undead Elvis impersonators and bombing raids, all to the dulcet tones of richard cheese amongst his montage of death and destruction, we witness a group of survivors team up together to rescue other survivors and eventually escaped the desolation. This team led by the muscle bound Stop Ward. Play by play by Dave Bautista showcased a range of talents from mechanic to medic, too strong man. No wonder then, that a couple of days before the planned nuclear strike on las Vegas, scott, Ward is approached by casino owner Bly Tanaka, played by Hiroyuki Sanada with a proposal.

The mission scott is told, is to break into Knox's casino to recover $200 million from the bolt before it's wiped out. Of which 50 million goes strained to scott's pocket quick to. It sets. Not soon recruits a team of new and old faces brace yourself first there's mechanic Maria Cruz played by Anna de la Reguera Parasol specialist Vanderhall played by Omari Hardwick helicopter pilot. Marianne pieces paid by the wonderfully one note Tig notaro, Safecracker, Ludwig Theater played by mafias. She waited for a sharpshooter and Youtube star, Mikey Guzman played by Raul Castillo and his associate Chambers played by Samantha win. Also joining the team is a sinister associate of the casino owner martin. Bye bye. Garrett, Dylan Hunt who is definitely not a secret bad guy, but the team assembled the plan is simple sneak into the warden ruin city of Las Vegas, shoot through the surviving zombies until they reach the casino break into the bowl and extract the bags of cash inside and escape the city via the helicopter that's conveniently parked in the casino roof.

In and out in a matter of hours, they say. The first step of the plan takes the group to a refugee camp on the perimeter of the city walls. Here, stop finds his daughter Cate played by Ella Purnell who works as a volunteer at the camp kate direct so far was to lily played by Nora armies. Ada a tight lips rogue who earns a dollar guiding people back into the city ruins. Despite the fact they rarely come back out again afterwards, lilly is soon drafted into a team that guide them in with kate demanding she come along to, to try and find the last group of women that lily had taken in or something. On entering the city. The group is shocked to find that the horde of zombies have been mostly wiped out, mostly dying of dehydration as they were too dumb to find shade in the Vegas sun. This however, means the zombies that did survive are not only the toughest, but also the smartest and the fastest. As lowly explains, these fast zombies and their leaders, known as alphas, were the first generation of zombies bitten by the so called king of the zombies, later known as Zeus.

Not only are they smart and deadly, but they can also be reasoned with so long as the sacrifices offered. At this point, it's worth pointing out that the Army of the dead is essentially a remake of aliens. Not only do you have the red bandana wearing Latina woman dying in a ball of flame, but you've also got a sleazy corporate guy who is in purpose and actions at least identical to burke from aliens. There's also a very familiar relationship set up between scott and kate and a shot of the shop recreation of bishops abstraction of Ripley. I didn't even notice the connection until lily utter the line about zombies not screwing Tabakova and that is literally a line lifted straight from aliens. Now, to be fair, the idea of a casino heist meet zombie movie is actually pretty great, especially love. The use of zombie is the trigger, the increasingly cartoonist traps in place in the vault. There was some other fun to be had with some laugh out loud moments scattered throughout the film. It's just so damn long, completely unnecessarily long as well.

Off the back of his four hour epic Justice League seems like Snyder's filmmaking mission is to strip out all the joy and brevity of cinema and replace it with wannabe epic storytelling were bloated script that really deserves a hefty pair of scissors. What's more Army Dead marks. The first effort by Zack Snyder to abuse a completely digital film with himself. Cast as director of this might explain the obnoxious use of debt fulfilled used throughout the film. The idea was that anything out of your immediate vision is out of focus and hard to read. So it's more scary, I guess. I don't know what others are saying about this, but I hated this shallow depth of field. Zero's your attention on the character in the foreground, completely racing the opportunity for wider images and therefore completely wasting their possibilities for creativity in the setting. Opening montage aside, this could have been set anywhere. I'm sure there could have been much more fun to be had with the Vegas setting.

It just didn't happen. So yes, entertaining as a pinch but woefully bloated long army that they're delivers some mindless shooting up action, but not much else. Very rarely do I stop the movie mid flow. But for Army of the Dead, I had to get up and stretch my legs twice If you want to kill an evening, keep yourself on netflix and watch Army of the Dead personally and Brother. Mhm. What is this? Mhm goddamn zombie tiger. That's crossing the line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, when to hold, when the whole know when to fall down. Mm. That was the show. Yes, indeed. Thank you so much for listening. Everybody. Hope you are getting sun. Hope you getting sun. Hope you've got your flags at the ready and your locals not far away, you ready to support free lions or whomever team of which your country Helds from.

And don't forget the World Cup is just the christmas after this one. So we're only a year and a half away from the next football special. We're only free lockdowns away. Free lockdown. What's the World Cup film? Uh There must be widen bend it like Beckham bends it. Yeah, we can wash out. That was big time. Uh You know what we should have watched? There was a film about Denmark and then winning the euros and I forgot about it today and it was a danish film has really good but forgot about right now remember it's cool. Never mind another wasted opportunity. That must become a there's a film, there's an Aardman animation film about football. The caveman caveman playing football, which is very good. Um And there's uh what's the what's the boar at the Brothers Grimm? Oh yeah that's that's the World Cup. We'll watch that next time. Grimsby, grimsby.

Yeah, it's just, we called it grimsby. But I think now it's the Brothers grimsby. Yeah, because americans don't know what grimsby was. That's huge. F B todd, jeffy. Cool. Okay. Well, yes, if you like what you hear, do check us out on patreon at www dot patreon dot com slash holiday media. And do you follow our social media's at holiday? Hell media on twitter and instagram. I'm going to set up a tic tac soon. Oh, interesting. I figure we need to get with the times we need to get with those young kids. Get Snapchat. Yeah, snapchats come vine, Miss vine, but we're already two years late for Tiktok now. I know. What's the next thing? What's that? That time to jump, you can get instantly famous on Tiktok. So they say. So we'll do that become, that's probably a good idea. We can share some of our clips and things. I'm going to make a new quarters trail at some point with, with all the reviews. Oh, that's exciting. And the, the laurels from our film festivals, more news was the great review we had the other day, absurd and bizarre.

It was, I don't know what I just watched, but it was absurdly weird. Loving that. Oh, that that is us what we do anyway. Thank you again and we'll see you in a fortnight. Yeah. It's coming home. It's going higher or rob's going bald.

An Absolute Git
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