doing what you love doing authentically is always a perfect equanimity within you and equity between you and others. Equity theory proves that the only thing that's sustainable that builds relationships is something that's a fair exchange between people. Here's the question, what's going on inside the minds of top achievers that caused them to make extraordinary breakthroughs both personally and professionally. My name is tim sure. And I invite you to join me as we take a deep dive into the unconscious mind and discover how to transform your biggest dreams into a reality. Welcome to the how to be mesmerizing podcast. Hey everybody welcome to how to be mesmerizing its temperature and oh my goodness, I've been looking forward to this interview for a long time. Dr john DeMartini is with us, john welcome to the program. Thank you for having me. It's good to be here. Oh, this is so exciting for me to have you on the show because I've been following you for years. I love the work that you do, I love how you've looked at all the different areas from psychology, sociology, business spirituality, you've blended them together. There's very few people on the planet that can take a bunch of complex ideas and bring them together and make them feel simple and easy to understand and you're one of the masters of doing that.

So, so let's jump right in. Okay, so You've been studying human behavior and since like 1973, I think you first opened your practice and so between the two of us, we've both been studying this for about 73 years combined. So, So what are at least you have your hair? I'm jealous. I had a lot more when I first started. I still got a bit. But it's definitely going back. Yeah. So what are some of the things that have held the test of time? What are the some big idea? Moments that you've discovered or that you've learned over the years that you feel are the core ideas that you're trying to get out to as many people as possible. Well, every human being, regardless of gender. Age. Culture lives moment by moment by a set of unique values, priorities. Things that are most to least important in their life. And this set of values or value structure or higher give values dictates how they perceive, how they decide and how they act.

Mm hmm. And therefore the hierarchy of their values, impact and in a sense, determine their destiny. Mhm. Now this value set changes over time. Every decade. You can see tweaks or sometimes cataclysmic events can change it significantly. Yes. But whatever's highest on the list of values becomes more intrinsic. And we spontaneously are inspired from within to fulfill what's most important to us. Yes. But as we go down the list of values, they become more extrinsic And they require more punishment, reward, motivation systems to get us to do it just like a young boy loves his video game. Doesn't have to be reminded to the video game. But certainly has to be reminded to do the chores and homework? Yes. So identifying what's truly most important to us, not what we fantasize, not what society injects projects, but what is truly life is demonstrating inside that individual that's most important to them.

And structuring their daily life according to priority and filling their day with the most highest priority actions. They can identify and structuring in such a way that they're filling their day with the highest priority actions. So it doesn't fill up with low priority distractions which devalue them, scatter them, distract them, disempower them and incrementally building momentum, pursuing that, which is most deeply meaningful and inspiring and fulfilling in their life. So they can emerge spontaneously as the inborn leader and great individual and Magnificence that they're designed to be. So, identifying what's really most important, not what they think it is, but what it really is demonstrated in their life's expression is really an important principle for living a fulfilled life. So that's very wise. Let me ask you this. If it's so important to live by our values, that we should prioritize them so that we are getting the most out of our life each day.

Is it fair to say that we need to take a look then at what our values really are, because I think that well, let me ask you this in a question. So there's two questions, right? The first one is do you think people are consciously aware of their values or are they just running based on the values that were absorbed in them when they were little. I've been asking people in doing value assessments for 43 years of my 48 years of teaching and only one individual has been congruent and then gradations of in congruence er are pretty profound. I mean that's extraordinary 43 years and you only found one person that was congruent with a lady who is very dedicated to her mission. Yeah. And they can grow and what does that mean? Just so people that means that her clarity of what her mission was and her daily actions of prioritization were congruent. She delegated everything else and did what she was here for her and she had impact on millions of people because of it, wow.

So most of us, most people are subordinating and conforming and living in the shadows of the external world is Ernest Becker said in his denial of death. Most people conform instead of a norm. They fit in instead of stand out. They don't give themselves permission to truly make a difference because they're too much like everyone else and they inject the values of those they subordinate to unconsciously and have internal conflicts and cloudiness of mission. I've been teaching a breakthrough experience program one of my signature programs for 32 years, I've taught at 1116 times, wow and every week people come in and they say, I don't know what I'm really dedicated to know what my purpose, I don't know what my missions inside in the core of the essence of their being. They know, but the cloudiness and unclarity that emerges because of the subordination, you know, ralph Waldo, Emerson warned against this, he said envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide the moment we try to envy somebody else and put them on a pedestal thinking they're more intelligent or more successful or they have more wealth that they have more relationship stability or they're more socially savvy or they're more physically fit or more spiritually aware.

The moment we live in their shadow at the moment. We are too humble to admit what we see in them is inside us. We're too humble to admit it will attempt to be living vicariously through other people's values, will attempt to purchase their reality instead of building a brand of our own. And we'll subordinate and disempower ourselves and self depreciate ourselves and offload decisions onto the herd instead of empowering ourselves as an individual and wake up our natural born leader, which is our birthright. We have inside us a yearning to express what is most meaningful to us, but were afraid to do it for fear of rejection. For fear of not fitting in the fear of abandonment abolishment, you know, exile from the hurt. Yeah, we want to be loved and accepted and we're afraid that if we go against the grain that we won't be. So, can you I mean, this is very exciting. And my audience is very aware of what you're saying because I talk about it all the time.

So could you help us understand then how you help people find their values and gain that clarity? Take us through your breakthrough experience. You know, what are the steps involved? Well, I don't know if I could do the whole breakthrough because that's a 26 hour experience. But wow, the value determination process which I have complimentary on my website, Doctor DeMartini dot com has a free private value determination process. I'll give a brief summary of it here. Okay, I'm not interested in what you tell me because your actions speak louder than your words. I'm not interested in your fantasies. Because if you ask people how many want to be financially and everybody puts a hand up, but only 1% achieving. I'm interested in what your life demonstrates. Mm hmm. My life demonstrates. 48 years of researching and teaching. So, I'm not interested in making up something I'm looking at. I want to look at what my life says. So, I asked people what do they feel their space with their personal and intimate space with? Because anything that's extremely valuable to you keep close to approximately.

And anything that's not valuable. You make distal you pushed away even babies in a crib If you put something in there, they'll toss it away if they don't want it and they'll stick it in their mouth and explore it if they want it. So one of those indicators of what you value is your space. This has been two Nobel prize winners. Got insights on what they call the place cells and grid cells in the brain and there's a social hierarchy and there's a positioning of things that we value based on our space. So space is one. The 2nd one is time. We find time, make time, spend time on things that are really valuable to us. We figure out how to get that filled in in time And we don't take time for things that aren't. And when people tell me, well I'm spending 8-10 hours of work and I hate my job. No, you're going there for financial security and that's important to you. And people don't understand that. The decisions they make is based on whatever they believe will give the greatest advantage of a disadvantage at any moment in time according to those values. So how do you spend your time, how you fill your space?

R to the third one is what energizes you the most because when you're doing something time, your values, your energy goes up. When you're doing things that are low in your values, your energy gets drained, you have more energy at the end of the day when you've been doing exactly what you love doing and you don't even notice time, You don't even pay attention to time when you're doing what you love. So how what energizes you the most and what is it? You always have energy for? The 4th 1 is money. What do you find money? Make money and spend money on most consistently? Because whatever that is, it's valuable. Yeah. When I was in my 20's I used to buy 40 to 70 books a week on average and I was spending all my money on books and on education today and a lot of its online. So I spend hours online with you know, reading articles. But now most of my money goes into investment. So you look at where your money goes and it tells you what you value? Your hierarchy of values dictate your financial destiny? The next one is. What is it that you have that's organized and ordered most? Because whatever is highly organized and ordered is valuable too.

So if you look carefully where you have the greatest degree of order, Is it your social calendar? Is it your physical fitness? Is it your spiritual rituals? Is it your business management? Is it your financial management? Is it time with your kids? Is that the way you cook and eat? Is it your clothes or arrangement your makeup? Where are you most organized and ordered? The next value determine. It is where you most spontaneously disciplined and reliable and focused. What is it that we can count on you to do because you're only committed to the fulfillment of your highest value and whatever that is is where your most disciplined. So I look at where are you most disciplined and reliable? What can I rely on you to be doing? You can rely on me to be researching and teaching. I do it seven days a week, but you can't rely on me to to be socializing or the party or you know, I don't drive driven in 32 years. You're not gonna see me driving a car somewhere And I don't cook. So that's been since I was 24 since I cooked anything that's low on my values. I delegate to specialist anything to time, my values. I do with inspiration.

That's just a basic law of life. So I look at what it is that I am most disciplined and the next one, number seven is. What is it that I think about about how I would love my life to be that's showing evidence of coming true. Not things I think about that aren't coming true and not things that I don't want to come true that I'm dwelling on it. But what is it I'm thinking about about how I would love my life to be. That shows evidence coming trip and the next one is because our inner most dominant thought becomes our outermost tangible reality. How thoughts become things as Doug says now the next one is what is it you visualizing about how you would love your life to be? That shows evidence of coming true and the visual cortex of the occipital region and the associative areas in front of it and the thinking areas are primarily in the prefrontal cortex and the parietal region. These are different regions of the brain. And so now what are you seeing? What is your vision about how you would love your life that is actually manifesting and coming true? You know I had a dream to travel the world and to teach, I've been 254 countries teaching, I have evidence of it coming true, but it's a vision that I've pursued.

So what is it that's in your vision that you're pursuing that is actually manifesting in your life. That's what I'm looking for. The next one is what is your internal dialogue, your internal conversations about how you would love your life and what's showing evidence of coming true. This is the temple region, insular region of the brain and this is a different area, this is side of the brain now and this is when all of a sudden you have non negative stuff talk because that's something you don't want to have happen. But the affirmative, confident internal dialogue about how you would love your life that you feel is destined you feel is certain that your life is demonstrating actions and pursuing and you're making progress on it? That's an indication of what your value. The next one is. What do you keep bringing the conversation to spontaneously in social settings? What do you want to lead the conversation to people who have a value on golf? Will bring it to golf? People that have a value on business will ask you, how's your business? People have a value in their Children? How's your Children? They want to engage people and converse about what they value most.

So, I look at what is the conversation most consistently spontaneously moving in the direction of that tells me what I value, minds on human behavior. I'm sure we both have similar conversations. The next one is what is it that inspires you? That brings tears to your eyes or built chill bumps to your back and spine, that when you're getting to do it, you feel it's destined. You feel it's impossible for you not to fulfill it. You feel tears of gratitude when you're getting to do it. When I go and study the great philosophers and great thinkers and the great Nobel prize winners and they make insights and discoveries on something to do about the universe. I'll get tears and minds and I'll know that that information I need to incorporate into what I'm doing. It's just part of the nature that's been my guide of all my research has been tears of inspiration. I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about? Yes. And so that tear of inspiration is a guide of authenticity. All of our physiology, our psychology, all our sociology, even all our theology is literally a universe giving us feedback towards our authenticity.

And these are the signs of it. That inspiration. The next one, number 12 is what is it that's most consistent and persistent on your goal book in your goal list. That's coming trip that you're consciously pursuing and not stopping and you're showing incremental momentum building, action steps and achievement in the direction and evidence of achievement. Not the ones that are coming through, but the ones that are, you know, when I set out to be financially independent, have a certain wealth capacity. I have incremental momentum building, you know, the natural eighth wonder of the world, compound interest proving the development of that wealth building. So it's there the evidence is there. It's it's manifesting is growing enormously and the last one is. What is it? You can't wait to get up and study, read, learn about watch on Youtube videos. What is it you spontaneously want to put into your brain and absorb were like a sponge. Were like a pac man we like to absorb that which is information that is going to help us maximize the potential of our lives.

So what is it that we can certainly constantly want to learn and what's common to the things we keep studying. If I look at those and do this exercise and I've done it over 100,000 people, you will find that each individual will have an answer if they're honest with their answers and not writing down what they wish, it would be, what they would hope would be what it used to be, what their fantasy is. But if they go and write what a drone would observe, watching them 24 hours a day right now and objectively what that is, they will reiterate the answer's the same answers will keep popping up and you'll have a confirmation on what shows up most frequently of what's really most valuable in your life. And then once you identify that you can begin to structure your life according to priority because any day you're not living by the highest priority, you're automatically devaluing yourself and when you devalue you so does the world holy cow, john wow, that was the most detailed answer I think I've ever received. That's incredible.

So you just provided and I don't know, five minutes, 10 minutes a master class. I mean that's extraordinary. All the steps. So now everybody that's on the website private if anybody wants to it just dr DeMartini dot com determine your values. I recommend doing it today, a week from now, a month from now and every quarter and to look at the evolution of your values, to see what incremental gradual tweak things occur and what cataclysmic events can shift them and monitor those and look at those because you will see that your life's journey is a summation of the hierarchy of your values over time. You know, I would say that hierarchy of values dictate your destiny, but your life's journey is a summation of all your destinies. When you're 0 to 10, you want to play when you're 10 to 20 you probably want to socialize your 2030 you want to find a relationship and some sort of job, you're 30 or 40 you want to have your own relationship and family and your own business, you know, each decade, you can see a slight tweaking of what that is and how it's emerging and knowing what it is, is knowing thyself and now structuring your life so you can be yourself and you'll love yourself, wow, you know, people talk about being your authentic self but I don't think that most people know what that is, that's what it is.

If you can get up in the morning and you're doing what you're inspired by and you've delegated the rest away and you're filling your day with things that you can't wait to get up in the morning and do, people can't wait to get that service, whatever that is and doing it in a way that brings fulfillment. We have a sensory cortex and a motor cortex, the sensory cortex is for taking in and receiving the motor cortex is for disseminating and giving out service service and reward. If we try to live with one without the other, we don't have fulfillment, making a contribution to the people and getting the acknowledgement back that we've made a difference is an essential component of fulfillment and money without that meaning, that meaning leads to battery, but money with meaning doing a service that gives meaning leads to philanthropy just so beautiful and eloquent, how you phrase this. So everybody should definitely go to dr DeMartini dot com and check out that survey, just go look at your website because I love your website, it's so good and do that values assessment because it's extraordinary.

So if we want to have an authentic life and we're going to go through these steps and we start getting clarity on where we want to be and where we actually are, how do you get help people get through the resistance because there's huge amounts of resistance with this, which is why over all those years you found one person who is really being authentic. So so how do you help? Well, I've thought through that many years now, so we have seven primary areas that I categorized into life. We have our spiritual quest which is our inspired mission. We have our mental quest which is creating original ideas and creativity that bring to the world, we have our vocational quest to make some sort of a service product and idea that brings to the world and get commence recompense it for some remuneration for it. We have a mission to have our money working for us instead of us being a slave to money, financial independence. We have a quest for love and intimacy, some sort of a relationship dynamic that allows us to reflect and discover ourselves and to procreate.

We also have a quest for social influence. We want to make a difference and want to be remembered and we want to think that we have something to contribute. We also have a physical quest, we want to be attractive, we want to feel vital and energized and well and we have a desire to be inspired and empowered all those areas, any area of our life that we don't empower, we will get overpowered him and that over empowerment is not because we're victims of history but because we're just not empowered. And all of those disempowered responses and overpowering of others is a feedback to us to let us know and to nudge us into empowering those areas and we empower those areas by being authentic and seeing how each of those areas that help us fulfill what's deeply meaningful to us now. If we subordinate to people on the outside and think they're more intelligent than us, we're going to think we're not, we're gonna think we're too humble to admit what we see in them inside us and we're going to limit ourselves and play small and we're going to constrain our belief in what we have is knowledge and then we'll offload our decisions to them.

And if we think that they're more successful again, we'll offload our decisions will have a dysmorphia of our perception of ourselves as a result of that. We have body dysmorphia, but we also have a spiritual dysmorphia. Mental dysmorphia. We have dysmorphia is in all of these areas, as long as we exaggerate others and minimize ourselves or exaggerate us and minimize others. Either way, we dis morph ourselves and we go into too proud or too humble to admit what we see in others inside us. We have deflected awareness, not reflective awareness and as a result of that, we're not being authentic. We say we want to be loved for who we are, but we're not willing to be who we are. So how we're going to be loved for. It starts with us. So the second, we subordinate to people and put them on a pedestal, we inject their values into our life, an attempt to live in their values, which is futility. Any time we try to live in other people's values, we have futility anytime we try to project our values on others and get them to try to live in our values. We have futility because we're not here to judge, we're here to love, we're not here to put people on pedestals or pits were to put them in the heart and all the symptoms of our life in all those areas are nothing but a feedback mechanism to try to get us to left and to be authentic to ourselves.

The older philosophers of the of the ancient Greeks, the love of wisdom and the wisdom of love. I think that still stands the test, whether your stork or not. It's really good. I like how you said, pedestals and pits because sometimes people are putting others on pedestals and feeling jealous or envious other times, they're putting people in pits, right? So everybody else is so dumb or stupid. I why do they have that success? And I don't I'm a lot smarter than them. You know, I'm a lot more resourceful or whatever it may be. You know, are they just luckier than me? Is that who they know? You know? And then we tend to put ourselves in a pit and disempower ourselves? You're not sure a story. I love to Yeah, please. So, I had a gentleman a number of years back approached me after a talk, I did presentation. You said dr DeMartini, I'd like you to help me become successful. And I said fantastic. I said, so where are you successful? And he looked at me where the puzzle, he said, but I'm not, I want you to help me be successful.

I said, great. So where are you successful? He seductively martin. You're not you're not hearing me, I'm not successful. I want to be successful. And I said, I have heard you and I'm asking where are you successful? And he goes, but dr DeMartini I'm not that's my point, I'm trying to be successful, I'm not getting myself clear. I said, listen, my certainty of your success is greater than your doubt. I'm asking you, where are you achieving what you set out to do? I do not ask you, where are you not seeing it? I'm asking where are you doing it? And he looked and he stopped for a second. He goes, where am I actually doing? And achieving something I set up for? He says, okay, I have an incredible relationship with my wife. We've been together for 10, almost 11 years we have the most were like two peas in a pod, We have this amazing relationship. And I said, can you see that you set out to do that and you're achieving that? He goes, okay, yep, okay. Yeah, I will acknowledge that our relationship is exceptional. Okay, where else you have successful? Where are you achieving something? He goes, well, Okay, I have a son who's 12 years old, Probably 10 years old at he and I are in baseball and I'm the coach, and we are probably going to win the pennant this year for the summer, and we're working at that and we're achieving that.

I said fantastic. So can you see that you have an incredible relationship and you have a quality relationship with your son in baseball, you're going to win the pennant because Okay, yeah, where else you're successful? Well, now I think about it, my mother in law lives with us and most people don't like their mother in laws around, but she is unbelievable. And we really appreciate her being here. She really helps with the kids. And we have this great relationship. I said, great, that's three. What else? Well, we all work in the yard, all whole family and we have the most beautiful yard, and I think we're gonna get yard of the summer again, and we all work together. Is this this yard? I said, great, where else you're successful? Mhm. Well, on Wednesdays and Sundays, I do some ministerial work and I do some teaching at the church I'm at and that was a goal of mine, and I'm doing that. And yeah, I guess that's a successful. I said, let me explain to him, we went down to this list of things he was succeeding at that he hadn't paid attention to. I said, now, the only reason you're not thinking are successful because you're comparing yourself self to somebody you think is more successful than you. So who is that?

And he paused and he says, I think I know who that is. I said, so, who is it? Well, there's a doctor up the hill, he's got a 6000 square foot home, he's got a big three car garage, he's got a big practice, He makes millions of dollars and yeah, I think I'm comparing myself to him and I said, great, do you know this guy very well, yep, how's his relationship with his wife? He said uh it's interesting you ask their volatile as hell, they separate to get back together again. It's like a volatile ping pong match. I said okay, so there's a lot of challenge there just yeah, I mean sometimes they're screaming matches and I said and does he have any kids? He said yes, you have a son? Yeah. How's his relationship with his son? Well they're having problems in school and he's doing drugs and he's not going to school a lot of times. And and I said, okay, I got a question. What about the yard? Do they work in the yard? No, they got people to take care of it. And I don't think they even pay attention to the yard. I never see them even look at their yard. And what about the mother in law? Oh that's interesting. Yeah, they moved out of the country to get away from that crazy lady.

And what about ministerial work? Because he involved in the church at all? He says, no, he's not interested in that, that's not his thing. I said let me just give you my first principle about this achievement thing. You're calling success. This man is not more successful than you. He is living according to his values, which is business and finance, which is higher on his list and lower is spirituality and family. So he has his chaos in the family and spiritual world and he has his achievements in the business and financial world. You have a higher value on your family and on your social and your spiritual and less on your business and finance. So you're like a cat trying to swim like a fish and whenever you try to be a cat trying to swim like a fish, you're gonna beat yourself up, as Einstein said, or if your fish trying to climb a tree like a cat, you're gonna beat yourself up. You're not any less successful than that man, he's probably ending your relationship in your spiritual question, your beautiful yard and you're not even aware of it. So don't end the other people don't imitate other people, realize that you only compare yourself not to others, but to compare your daily actions to your own highest values, the ones that are true to you.

You're on a spiritual mission, you're on a lovely family mission. Now if you'd like to change your values and rearrange the values that's doable. But until you do, if you expect yourself to live outside the hierarchy of your values, you're gonna frustrate yourself, you have a different set of values. So don't try to compare yourself to people with a different set of values that will be futile and that's what you've been feeling. He said now I understand why you asked me what you did. I said my certainty of your achievements because nothing is the essence of your soul. Nothing's missing in you at the level of your senses. Things appear to be missing in you because that's where you're comparing yourself and judging them and you're too proud or too humble to admit what you see in others inside you and you're not honoring the magnificence of who you are. You're living in your insignificance and study your magnificence. So let's not compare ourselves to this gentleman. Let's compare our daily actions to what's truly meaningful to you. And when you do, you'll be grateful for yourself and appreciate your family. That's one of those tears, full body chills moments, john Oh my God, that was like the best story I've ever heard when it comes to freeing yourself from envy and jealousy.

Oh my gosh! The people, what's interesting is you, I'm sure have done the same as me, Met some amazing people in the world. We've, we've met people and sometimes we have this illusion that they're heroes without villains or saints without sinners or virtues without vices. But you can't really love yourself as long as you're trying to get rid of half of yourselves and you're not going to honor yourself. As long as you compare yourself to fantasies about who people are. Yeah. I went through the Oxford dictionary 35, years ago and went through every single page in this vast big dictionary. This big big Oxford And I circled every known human behavioral trait that I could find in there. I found 4,628 traits in that book. Wow. And then I I thought of who is it that I know that it expresses that trait to the most fullest degree. And I wrote their initials to the side. And then I went through my life and I thought where and when have I displayed and demonstrated this specific trade behavior to the same degree as I see in this most extreme example. And I went in there and I kept looking in my life and scanning through my life and I discovered that I had all 4,628 traits.

I was nice, mean, kind, cruel, considered and considered honest dishonest, pleasant, unpleasant, peaceful, raffle positive, negative. I was everything. And then I started thinking okay, I'm now polarizing these as some of these are good and bad traits and the traits I thought were good. What are the downsides of them? And the traits I thought were bad. How are they there? Because if not they would have gone extinct. They would obviously serve how do they serve? And I went in there and and kind of level the playing field on those traits and realize that they're there for a reason. And I finally realized that I had them all and there was nothing to get rid of and until I can embrace my hero and villain and my two sides gracefully and embrace all of it. How am I going to love myself if I'm trying to get rid of half of myself and I'm trying to get rid of half of people and half the world and I'm futility because none of those traits have ever been gone there in my life and they surfaced throughout my life. So I don't waste my time trying to get rid of half of myself to love myself. We're trying to get rid of somebody else's half. I'd rather go and find out how both sides serve because you're going to find that we have both sides just life.

If I if I went up to you and I said, you're always nice, never mean you're bullshit. Meter would go off and say, uh no, I can think of. Sometimes I've been really pretty, pretty tough and I said, you're always mean, never nice. You go, I'm nice. But if I said sometimes you're right, sometimes you mean you go, yep, we have certainty when we're objective and we can embrace both sides, we have uncertainty and we have this intuitive whispering inside us knowing that that's not to complete us and we only see one side. So why try to get rid of half of life. That makes sense to me. So when you embrace it and you're okay with it and you're yeah, you're staying intentional you're staying present. You know, you're monitoring what's going on. You know, at every moment of the day. It gives you influence over that because you're right. I love that idea that you can't get rid of half of yourself. There's always gonna be this part of you and if it's there it must be serving. That's right. Even if those feelings that or behaviors that we describe as negative are there? Probably too because, you know, in a way to protect us?

Well, the negatives, I did a survey, I, you probably think I'm a bit neurotic, but I did a two year survey. I went through 300 bestselling books and the positive thinking genre, right? And I circled the most positive words that I could find in him. I live, we went through the books neurotically as I am and I circled every positive word I could find. Yeah. And I came up with 2000. In fact, if you go online, you'll find my book, 2000 quotes. The wise a day by day guide to inspiration living because of those 2000 words. I found studying that and I made a book With 2000 words and I thought of the most positive quotations, inspirational affirmations that you could think of with those words and I create this little book is still out there. It still sells, I think. And I wanted to fill my day with that. So I decided that I was gonna I studied the eastern mysticism of the job of beads and the western rosary beads and I thought I'm gonna recite these 5 to 6 quotes. I divided 2000 of those into 365 days.

Came up with five or six quotes per day. Memorized them each morning, recited him a minimum of 108 times a day. So it's 600 basic on average to 1000 affirmations day specific every single day. And then I create a chart a day by day cycle forecasting for him to monitor how I was doing spiritually mentally, career, financial, family, social and physical through each day four times a day, 7, 11 and three and seven To find out with a beeper every four hours and people would go off and I would ask myself, how am I doing in these areas of my life? Right this minute four times a day while I'm chanting these affirmations 108 times a day minimum. And I did at least 600,000. And I monitored those and kept records of those for two years to find out what impact that would have because I want to know that this whole thing, a positive thing is real. And I did all the survey there and I did that on a Tuesday, two years into it. I then tallied all the numbers with a texas instruments calculator and I carried them all up and it came out zero shot astonishing.

I thought it was going to give me, you know, some sort of upbeat outcome. Know what it did Is it caused bipolar condition. I was the most bipolar in my life during that period. Trying to be one sided always say bipolar condition is a byproduct of mono polar addiction. The addiction to a one sided world splits you apart. Instead of integrates you embracing both sides of life, you're not gonna, you know, if you're looking up to somebody, in fact with them, you're presenting its opposite. If you're presenting something, you're in fact with the opposite. When you in fact with your conscious of the upsides unconscious the downsides. When you're resentful your conscious the downsides unconsciously upsides. Whenever I'm polarized, I'm unconscious of half of what's there when I'm synthesized. I see both sides when I saw both sides and stopped looking for one side and trying to be only one sided. I became centered, poised, present, very powerful. And I was mission oriented and I have found as Aristotle talked about finding the mean extracting meaning out of existence has been able to take the unconscious and make it conscious at the same time of the conscious to make you fully conscious and allow you to see both sides at the same time and be centered.

And I found it I shredded the fantasies of one sidedness and embrace the magnificence of the both sides. The desire for that. Which which is unobtainable and the desire to avoid that, which is unavoidable as a source of human suffering. And we keep trying to do that and there's until necessary. You don't need to get rid of any part of it. But the moral hypocrisy is that traditions and conventions and mores of the many and the conformity try to impose traps you in the pursuit of a one sided world instead of embracing the magnificence of who you are. Uh now I don't know if how many people followed what you just said, but I just fell in love with you and your neuroticism because it's pushing all of my neurotic buttons right now and oh my God, that was awesome! All right, So I'm gonna break this down into a very easy to understand example that happened last night, right? So I'm with my wife and you know, I'm constantly trying to have a peaceful attitude, right? And keep a sense of ease because when I started this field I was riddled with anxiety. I have a hair trigger amidala, you know, And so I'm always trying to be the whole reason I devoted my whole life into this is really so that I could have a sense of ease inside instead of feeling anxiety, although I've been learning to love the anxiety and the fear and the stress and I tell myself that intellectually, however, last night my wife we were talking and she was bringing up some issues that were really upsetting for her.

And I wanted to just shut that down and try to help her have a more positive outlook on it, not realizing that I was one, shutting her her down and not being a good listener. I wasn't validating her so I wasn't being a good friend in that moment to her and to I wasn't allowing myself to feel that uncomfortable nous that feeling of envy all those feelings on the other side that I've been fighting so hard to get rid of because you know, and it's exactly what you're talking about. If I would have just sat in it and been okay with feeling envious or feeling angry or feeling scared or feeling, you know, all those other feelings that we try so hard to suppress and get rid of. If I would have just been okay with it and recognize that it's a natural part of life than I could have been a better friend to her. And I might have grown through that. And that's how you get through your anxiety. Not avoiding it, but growing through it. So the purpose of marriage is to find somebody that expresses the parts that we design. That's the whole purpose. Yeah.

Which is what causes all the all the fighting, right? But it's why we come together, you know, I heard someone say a long time ago and I was dumb telling my wife hey honey, I just found out that we're not soulmates were wound mates right And we're coming here to balance each other and she didn't like that. But you're right, it could be amazing soul mates have hell mates to when you're infatuated, you walk on the tips of your souls when you're resentful, you stomp them with your heels, the sole and the heel makes up this perfect stance. I have never heard of hell mates before, john john john oh my God, you are my new best friend. This is incredible. I've never oh, that's so good. Okay, so again, we want to make sure that we are recognizing that if you're having anxiety, if you're having stress, if you're feeling unhappy or unfulfilled that instead of trying to figure out how to get rid of that, how do we become friends with it without people feeling like I'm going to get trapped in this because I think that's what people want from success or money or, or you know, the perfect house or perfect spouse, you know, is that feeling of finally, I don't have to deal with those feelings, which is not the case.

No, when you finally appreciate that your negativity ease, which I call anger and aggression, blaming betrayal, criticism and challenge despair and depression, desire to exit and escape frustration and futility, grouchiness and grief, hatred and her irritability and irrationality when you finally appreciate that they're reminders of whenever you have an unrealistic expectation on your existence another. If you expect another human being to be one sided. Not both sided. You have an unrealistic expectation. If you expect them to live in your values, not their own, you have an unrealistic expectation. If you put those two on top of each other and expect them to be one side and live in your values, you have a double unrealistic expectations. If you expect yourself to be one sided or expect yourself to live outside what your values are or expect those combinations. You have again, all these stack up and make depressions depressions in comparison your current reality to a fantasy about how life is supposed to be instead of how magnificently is. So all these unrealistic expectations give us feedback through our negative thinkings to let us know whenever we are projecting unrealistic expectations on our existence.

When we finally realize what's actually there, a human being is going to be both sides. If I'm nice to my wife, she's a pussycat. If I challenge her, she can be a tiger, She's not going to be one side. She's not a human being. Those are personas masks that we wear nice. Mean, the human individual is undivided its whole, it has both sides and you need both sides. If somebody comes up to me and says, well dr Martine, You know, we've somehow we know you have 20 million miles of flying and you have millions of miles with our airlines. But somehow we have double booked and you won't be able to go today, maybe next week. I don't go, oh, you know, I say, I want Richard Branson standing here in six seconds, That's right, that's right. I'm not a nice person, I'm not a mean person. Those are personas that I put on when necessary to get what I want in life. Welcome to life, that's so honest.

But I'm a human being and I have all that and I don't want to get rid of any part of it because I need those different parts at different times. And when I'm playing out whatever role it is, I'm part of a matrix of other people playing out complimentary opposite roles to make the world work. So you don't need to get rid of any part of yourself to love your stuff is that we're if we compare ourselves to idealism and fantasies, we're gonna end up self depreciating because we can't live by one sidedness and we can't live in other people's values, not gonna happen only when we're temporarily infatuated. We think we're going to when we're really infatuated somebody, we sacrifice what's really important to us to try to live in their values for fear of loss and fear of rejection. So we go and do that. But within weeks we go, you know what I want my life back. I'm not living authentically here so that we end up starting resenting that until we get those balanced again and then we end up being ourselves and so many people put on facades and start relationships and then have to discover who they are and work their way back to authenticity. Just be yourself. It's so true.

We think oh that other person has changed now. But no our infatuation has now undergone hedonic adaptation and adapted. And it's no longer factored the first night when you're infatuated with somebody, you kiss them for 45 minutes lick their microbiome and their esophagus to get an evaluation of all the bacteria. I mean you really go for it. But after the next night it's 43 seconds. The next night 41 seconds and eventually go. So I have to do a long kiss. Or can we just you know. Yeah. He done it, adaptation adapts those dopamine fixes and allows us to just be ourselves. And if you start out just being yourself, you can go farther in the relationship. Oh wow. So personal question. How have you learned to balance that then with your wife? Well the first thing I tell people do is first determine your values both of you. Because that the only thing that she's committed to, she's not committed to you. You may think so. She's using you as a utilitarian object to help her fulfill what her values are. This doesn't sound romantic but that's really what goes on.

You don't find that out till the divorce and then what happens is you're doing the same. You selected her because you thought there'd be more advantages being with her. You looked at her for beauty. You looked at it for intelligence. She looked at it for resources. You looked at it for social skills. You looked at her for all these different things. She did the same thing to you. You're doing an assessment. You're matching search image and anti search images. You're going to think this is probably the best you're testing around. And if you think there's more options, you wait, you stall, don't bless this marriage. If you're really desperate, you want to hurry it up because you know, you're a loser and you don't want them to find out too quick. And so, you know, you work your way up until you get this marriage. But finding out what their highest values are is what we can know they're committed to. They're going to be disciplined on and they'll be reliable. First, knowing that then asking a really important question, how specifically is whatever that is, what's deeply meaningful to them? How is it helping me fulfill what's most important and deeply meaningful to make? If you can't see it, you're gonna be damn sure, gonna be trying to fix them all the time and change them and nobody wants to be fixed.

They want to be loved for who they are. It's not gonna work anyway. No. So you need to find out how what they're dedicated to is serving what you're dedicated to and vice versa. And the more you make the links, the more you have dialogue instead of alternating monologues, and it's the alternating monologues that gets stored in the intel chip of a woman's brain that she'll never forget everything that you screwed up on and it will download somewhere down the down the line. Yeah. Oh, I love that these independent monologues instead of a true dialogue, that's really good. So, if you come together and you have a mission statement and a set of values for your marriage, well, we won't be you're going to have what is the vesicles pisces, the center of your circle is going to overlap the circumference of theirs and vice versa. So you have your mission, you're gonna she's gonna have her mission and then there's going to be an overlapping piece. You know, you have a common focus, but you don't want to be, if you get exactly the same missions, you got smother, if you get no common overlap, you got another, you've got to match the smothers and then others and get the best practices to create creativity.

Uh That's fascinating. Yeah. And then what if you are overlapping but these outer areas or what it seems like all the fights are about, you're going to have differences, you wouldn't want to be with somebody. It's been shown at the edge of chaos theory, in chaos theory, that maximum growth and development occurs at the border of order and chaos support and challenge cooperation, competition, nice and mean positive, all pairs of opposites. So if you went in there and you're wanting a piece relationship, you're gonna be bored. You saw the lady in Asia recently that dumped her husband because he was wouldn't fight with her, I didn't see that. But yeah, too many similarities and overlaps. You get bored, too many differences and non overlaps. You get burned out. The balance of boredom and burned out is what's called a healthy relationship where you've got enough differences to keep each other in check and enough similarities to relate to each other. But you don't want a perfect overlapping thing because that's totally boring. So that's interesting. So it's all how you label it right and reframe it.

So some people say, oh well, you know, we don't want to argue, we want to be in this relationship where we're not fighting all the time because that would be toxic. Well what you're suggesting is no, that's actually where the growth happens. Well you don't want to do it all the time. You don't want to do it. None of the time. All our nuns are subjective biases of infinity over one and one over infinity, which don't exist in reality. So those kind of perceptions are false positives and false negative biases, confirmation this confirmation biases of awareness when we actually see what's actually there, we're gonna have a nice blend of support and challenge. She's going to support you. She's gonna challenges, she's gonna hold you accountable at times, she's gonna make you authentic because if she did nothing but support you you go and build up pride and that's an authentic and if she holds your challenge you you'd end up in shame and that's an authentic. But she gambles you a balance of support and challenge. She keeps you authentic, you go home, you know what's interesting? You want to do a fun experiment. This is an easy experiment. Okay I've done this in the seminars many times to make a point, let's say I walk into my seminar coming into the room and there's a bunch of people there and somebody says oh dr DeMartini, I really liked your podcast, I like your things and they start praising me uh huh and they say something nice, okay whenever I see that I always look for the skeptic and who's got their arms crossed because there's always a balance in the family and the relationship of the room yes.

And then I go, you know if I go to her, let's say a lady says that and I go and I say well thank you but you know I'm just a guy and I put myself below where she wants to put me, what would she do? She'll keep praising me. But if I walk in and she prays, oh dr DeMartini, you're amazing, You're this this that and I go, you know, I'm more amazing than you can even comprehend. It took you long enough to figure that out. I'm so calm, I'm so amazing. It's almost hard for me to even be with you guys. If I puff myself up above what she believes, I am uh know just start cutting me down immediately because any time you go above what they perceive, they're going to design to criticize any time you go below they're going to do this. And so when you're authentic they don't have to do any either. So how do you be authentic in that moment then? Well if you've got buttons stored in your subconscious mind that they're bringing to the surface, you're designed to get in contact with that and learned how to go back to those original events that you had a lopsided perception about and get it back into balance and ask questions that balance out your perception because your subconscious mind stores all the judgments that you never had balanced in your first place.

And those are all your buttons and impulses and instincts. You're going to keep having run your life if you don't go back and balance them. That's why I created the DeMartini method to methodically ask concise questions that balance those perceptions, all of our phobias, all of our fantasies, All our anxieties are coming from that we balance them. They're not there. Yeah, yeah. You call them perceptions. I call beliefs going back and upgrading our beliefs that were in our mental computer that we did not choose. We absorb. If we perceive something that's imbalanced, were infatuated with somebody. We're consciously upside and unconscious downside. And we think there's pleasure in dopamine there as long as we have a memory there and we are unaware of the glenn close fatal attraction, behavior that's coming, were unaware of that, then we store that in our subconscious mind and anything that reminds us of all that pledge, you can bring it right out and we're hooked again. Yeah, yeah. We see both sides were not hooked and they can't throw us off our accountability to bring our own misperceptions back into balance.

And if we keep having those misperceptions, we build up beliefs well that's what women do or that's what men do. So our beliefs are composites of imbalanced perceptions that have now proven reactions that we now believe our patterns. I remember the very first time that particular point was brought home for me. I was like 23 years old. I was taking an out patient person. I was working at a hospital and I took him to an a a meeting and the woman was tight. It was a very, very smart african american woman, She was standing at the front of the classroom and she said, you will idolize that last drink you had, you would just think about how it gave you high and got you away. She said, But you have to visualize on purpose, All the wreckage that's happened in your life, all the pain. You've got to intentionally associate all the pain to one drink to one drink. Because people in here will say, oh well, you know, one drink is not a big deal, Just one is not a big deal.

And she said that is false. She says you step people say, oh well I can drink 20 beers, I can drink 1/5 of vodka. And she said, that's not the point. She said, do not stand on a train track, let a train run you over and then tell me it was the caboose that killed you. It was the very first engine, the very first one. And you have to intentionally associate that pain instead of all this happiness to that drink or you will relapse and go back. Yeah. Well anything that you perceive pleasure without pain or pain without pleasure will run your life into their balanced. That's it. That's what the subconscious stores. The super conscious mind stores all transcendent integrated, intuitively integrated states. And the subconscious stores all polarized states. That's ancient knowledge. That's nothing new. And we basically keep running our racket out of all the wounds that we have that we are not getting the fantasies that were addicted to as long as we're addicted to our fantasies will keep attracting the nightmares to try to break our addictions.

Mhm. That's interesting. Alright, let me break that down. So in other words, you're saying that the more spiritual part of us is locked in our super conscious or maybe our unconscious mind, the part that's connected to the universe and all the magic within and our subconscious mind is the part of us that's addicted to the fantasies, right? Or that has the mixed programming in there. Our brain has layers to it and the forebrain the medial prefrontal cortex, the tellin cephalon, which means the end of the brain is designed for self governance modulation. There's a great article just this morning on acetylcholine modulation of the lower brain centers and than our lower areas are sub cortical areas. The amygdala is our desire center and our desire center has a nucleus accumbens in the striatum for habitual seeking and avoiding mechanisms. And this this pair of the brain has a desire for pleasure, pray, food anabolic and a desire to avoid pain, predator being eaten cata bolic.

And so it's constantly separating the inseparable. It's like taking a magnet and getting a positive and negative and trying to get a positive without the negative and trying to run away from the negative to get that positive. But life doesn't do that. The magnet can't separate the two poles. So wisdom is knowing that you can't separate the polls and you synthesize them with your intuition your intuition is trying to reveal to you the other side. So if you're infatuated with somebody and you're getting a dopamine high, your intuition is trying to point out the downside. If you're resentful to something and getting osteo calcium, your brain and your intuition is trying to point out the upside it is a negative feedback system to try to bring you back in the synthesis, to get you into the forebrain. So you can think logically. Mhm. But if you don't and you let the media run you, you're going to think there was a pleasure without a pain or a pain without a pleasure. And every memory that you have that had a pain without a pleasure, a pleasure without a pain that drink that you don't see the wreckage in is perpetually polarizing you to the subconscious impulse.

And that's the addictive behavior anytime. We're not living by our highest values and activating the blood glucose in action in the forebrain were in our media and the amygdala is striving for pleasure and avoiding pain. And that's our addictions or addictive behavior as a compensation for unfulfilled highest values. It's a result of a storage of illusions that we got one sided event. And as long as we got a pain without a pleasure, we're gonna try to escape it. As long as we think we got a pleasure without a pain, we're going to keep you seeking it and those are going to run our lives. Because anything we in fact where the resent occupy space and time in our mind and run us until we synthesize those and bring those together. So the lady is trying to show them the downsides and the wreckage of this pleasure and the upsides. The benefits of all the wreckage to try to get him as a feedback back on track. Yeah. That's amazing. So is that where then like stoicism is developed, where you're in a situation you're trying to be neutral. You know, you're not getting too high, You're not getting too low. Yes, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius are kind of known for the stock construct.

Tried to tell them the same thing in pictures. Said First you blame others, then you blame yourself and then you realized there was nothing to blame. It was your illusion in the first place, the people that blame things and think the devil is going to do it are going to be looking for something outside themselves to get the credit. You know, the savior to take care of them. And those are all dissociated, causal causal distortions, you're the cause of your own reality. That was your perception and your reaction. There's nothing to do with out there. The world has nothing to do with. It's not about what the world does as opposed to this says. It's it's not about our judgments the world about those things out there. It's about our misinterpretations of what's out there, We're accountable for our perceptions decisions and actions and we have the ability to bring those into equanimity and that is why when people say you have to own everything you've experienced in your life, people get confused by that because they think that well if I went through a horrible experience and you know, I was a kid, I had no power over that. You're telling me that I somehow attracted that. Like you're blaming the victim. Well, if you're saying that you had some sort of tragic, you didn't see where you are addicted to the support.

Whenever you're addicted to protection, you attract aggression. Whenever you addicted to the peaceful thing, you get the conflict whatever you're addicted to as an animal behavior, the other side comes in to maximize the growth. So you're not a victim of what's history, You're a master of destiny. If you see that when you finally realize that you stop blaming things out there and you start realizing okay, when that happened, how did it serve me and where was I addicted to the opposite and how is that a disservice? You bring yourself back into balance and then you thank all those people, those so called perpetrators for giving you your mission in life. Because your mission is going to be derived from that. Your mission is always whatever allows you to synthesize the most illusions in your life, wow, wow, I think this is the only interview I've ever had where most of my responses are because it's so there's so much wisdom in what you're saying that I can't wait to go back and listen, I don't usually listen to a lot of my interviews, but I'm going to go back and listen to this one over and over and over again because there's so much, so much depth and what's just pouring out of you.

It's incredible. It's so many different levels. I learned something about it. You know, my kids would come to me sometimes and ask a question yeah, in order to get them to go and look in the dictionary and look it up on the encyclopedias and learn it themselves right to teach them how to learn I learned a long time ago. Give an answer that takes 20 minutes. It's overwhelming to them and they'll go through it on their own. That's right, forget it. Dad, go google it. I'll go look up google, I'll drive down to the to see the encyclopedia thing. Just avoid you. Oh my gosh, that's amazing. So all right, last question for you because I could keep you on here all day long. So where are you at now? You know, you've acquired all this incredible knowledge and so what are you doing with it right now where you at in your journey? I spend every day, seven days a week researching and teaching. That's what I love doing. So I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing. So I do it and you know, I'd have podcast today, I'll have podcast tomorrow podcast the next day seminars I do teaching.

I think this year will be about 358 presentations, but I do presentations most every day, sometimes three or four days. Wow, That's what gives you the most amount of joy study I'm reading. I've knocked out today probably 19 research articles already and I've written probably four pages in articles so far just since this morning. Well, this is what you've been talking about your in your authenticity. You've prioritized. You know, I was looking at, I don't have to do anything else. I don't have anything else to do. I don't cook. I don't do administrative, I don't do marketing. I don't do anything else except research. Right? Travel teach and now teaching, traveling on zoom man, flying into it now. Yeah. So I don't have anything else. I've got, I found people who love doing what I don't and I delegate that and give them jobs and go do what I love doing, which compensates me beautifully to then pay for the people. So they have jobs doing what they love doing and has a chain reaction of a bunch of people doing what they love to do.

That's what it's about, wow. And you don't have to apologize for it. I mean that's, I think that a lot of people feel like somehow that would do, that would be they feel guilty or that selfish or no, no, no, I don't do forgiveness is and apologies. That's so far outdated, it's not even funny. Forgiveness assumes that you've done something in somebody else's values and they expected you to live in their values. And I apologies are assuming that that you've somehow lived in there. You didn't live in their values enough. All that is just an illusion about values. I'm interested in not not getting into the idea of of these ideals about how it's supposed to be, but finding out the magnificence of how it is much more like that. We see the magnificence of how it is instead of the fantasies of how it's supposed to be. I don't live in the should daughters got tattoos, have twos must need to use all the imperative languages of moral hypocrisy. I don't waste my time on that, It's not where you apply yourself. How do you find the balance then? Because I'm sure there's people are like, oh, well, I love that idea, I'm gonna do whatever I want. I'm not gonna apologize for it. I'm gonna say these are my values.

No, those aren't really what you love when you do something you love, you'll find out that you're not when you puff yourself up, you go narcissist when you put yourself down, you go altruist, you minimize yourself to people. You'll sacrifice for them when you exaggerate, you'll try to sacrifice them for you. Neither one of those are where it's at, that's not authenticity. Doing what you love doing authentically is always a perfect equanimity within you and equity between you and others. Equity theory proves that the only thing that's sustainable that builds relationships is something that's a fair exchange between people giving you the freedom to be yourself. Doesn't mean, oh, I can be a narcissist. You can't be yourself as an artist. That's not you. I'm not an artist, I'm not an altruist. I'm a synthesis of those two. Mm ah there it is. Yeah, you're a blend. We're all blend. Well, I play both sides. I know about you, but I certainly played both sides. Sometimes you challenge me. I can be a feudal, uh, what you call a autocrat, but you support me, I can be a pussycat. It's the key is to not let him get so out of extreme nature where you're just completely out of control, but to have the fluctuating, moderating feedback systems of who you are in its life.

Yeah, wow, that's amazing who again dr john DeMartini john this has been mesmerizing. I'm just, wow, so powerful. The message that you're sharing and it's fresh. You know, it feels really, I know just different from a lot of the stuff that you hear out there because people are, you know, acting like or just feeling like they're stressed and out of control and full of anxiety. And so then they're going to people who wanting them to feel positive and loved and authentic and everything else. And but you're saying. Yeah, but it's okay to have both. You know that you're the synthesis of both and don't pretend that there's one or the other and you're, you know, because going to the other side will just cause you to be out of balance again. Well the addiction to one side smacks it with the other side to make sure your whole, you know, that is true because I've met people who were addicted to going to seminars, you know, in personal development programs and they hadn't evolved at all. But they were always talking about how they were in this new program and but they never really had grown because they have a value, they have a value on learning but they don't have a value in applying.

There's a difference. Yeah, that's right. Some people that just want to learn but they don't run businesses with it. Yeah. I tell myself if I showed you how to create a business, compiling what you've learned and and show them how to structure that. Some of them take off them, they do amazing things. But if you're not doing something you love if your vocation vacation or split and you're gonna have money. Morning blues, Wednesday hump days. Thank God it's friday, it's a weak friggin ends. You want to do something you love on a daily basis. Otherwise, you know, your life passed you by, it's true. I rarely know a day of the week. It is when you're doing something you love to do, you don't care. That means nothing. That's an artificial division anyway. Yeah, when you stop and look at it, brian greene talks about it in this cosmos. You know, it's an artificial division thing a day. That's just a little tiny little planet in a in our solar system, in our galaxy, in our Virgo cluster, in our Lani K A Supercluster, That's a tiny insignificant, nothing. You know, we're much bigger than that. Oh wow, that's amazing. I want to have you on again just for another discussion on that, you know, and digging into quantum physics and all the fun stuff.

There is, I've written many books on astrophysics, cosmology, mathematics, all kind of things. I'd love to go there. Oh me too. That's amazing! So john oh my goodness! So you are absolutely fantastic. Thank you so much. Everybody needs to go to dr DeMartini dot com. Check out that values assessment because obviously this, you know, you have an extraordinary wealth of knowledge and you're applying it and you've put resources together so that we can maximize our synthesis and happiness in life. So any final thought, you want to leave for everybody. Just thank you for the opportunity on your show. It's been great. We have some fun, you know, kindred uh journey is we could say on our journey of, I would say that the evolution human consciousness the mastery of life the Awakening of awareness and potential in people where I think we both found on that path of just helping people and helping ourselves master our life. I learned from Zig Ziglar when I was 20, if I help other people get where they want to get a life, I get where I'm going to get life. So let's do it. Amen brother. Thank you for having me on your show.

Oh thank you so so much. All right, everybody, wow, that blew my mind. That was incredible. So make sure that you go to dr DeMartini dot com, download that values assessment and take it and then share this with your friends, share this with your family. Because this is just incredible. I mean, a whole new approach to how to live life from a place of authenticity and and enjoy and not constantly finding yourself in a struggle of either or but finding the and you know, finding the balance that is extraordinary. So thanks so much apply what john has provided for you today and make your life mesmerizing and we'll talk to you next time. Bye everybody! Hey, it's tim you ever wonder why so many talented hardworking entrepreneurs and business owners struggle with inconsistent self believe for high stress or procrastination or self sabotage. Well, the answer may surprise you and the solution is already inside of you. I've been searching for the answers to this for decades and I found them and I put it into a new program called the power of your unconscious mind, Mental secrets for accelerating success.

And because you're a listener, I want to give you a free V. I. P copy, head over to power mindset program dot com. That's power mindset program dot com and grab your copy today.