How To Be Mesmerizing With Tim Shurr!

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How To Crush Self-Imposed Boundaries! | Steve Sims & Tim Shurr

by Tim Shurr
December 11th 2020

In this episode, we’re with a true legend, Steve Sims. Steve is the visionary founder of Bluefish: the world’s first luxury c... More

nothing is impossible, Okay, It's only impossible until someone does it. So there is absolutely nothing impossible, There is nothing that can't be achieved. Here is the question, what's going on inside the minds of top achievers that caused them to make extraordinary breakthroughs both personally and professionally my name is tim Sure. And I invite you to join me as we take a deep dive into the unconscious mind and discover how to transform your biggest dreams into a reality. Welcome to the how to be mesmerizing podcast. Everybody welcome to how to be mesmerizing its temperature and oh my gosh, we have a true legend in the house although he won't call himself that which is what makes him truly a legend. Steve Sims is with us steve! Welcome to the show. Hey thanks for having me. Uh so I am so excited to have you. So for those who don't know steve and unless you are a billionaire you might not have ever heard of him. But if you are a high powered ruler of the earth then you know steve Simpson steve is the guy who creates exciting experiences for the wealthiest people on the planet.

And when you listen to what he has to say, you're going to understand why that is so steve. What would you say is the secret? One of the secrets to your personal success? Two of them, one of them is aggravation. I believe all entrepreneurs are constantly aggravated and it's aggravated oysters to make pearls and the second one is I've never given a client what they asked for and those two things wrapped in. I find that when people used to come to me when I ran the concierge business, they would give me a request that aggravated me because I thought of myself, hang on, you're dreaming because they could certainly afford it. You're dreaming of the most magical thing in the planet. And this is what you come up with. So I was always kind of aggravated. So I learned very early on to keep a client and forget loyalty points because that's just bribery. But to keep people loyal and coming back to you and talking about you and referring to you are referring, you ignore what they asked for and give them what they dream, desire and lust for.

So I would take what they said and then go, okay now how can I put my twist on it? And my aggravation would create amazing experiences. Could I give you one please? So we had is probably one of the most well known ones that we did. Yeah, we were running for 25 years still going on. But you know, join my period with it because I found it like 25 years. I had a client contact me because he knew I was in Rome at the time I'd actually been asked to get a couple married in the Vatican by the Pope and I was up there in Rome organizing that he found out I was in Rome and he said to me that he wanted to throw a dinner party for with his fiance and the future mother and father in law, you know, please, you know, do something for me in Florence, make me look good. So you know, he had already known me long enough to give me as little direction as possible. Okay. And so what I did was I actually closed down the academia de galleria, which is one of the most famous museums in the planet.

Maybe you've not heard of the museum, but you're, you definitely know what the museum is famous for. It's the museum, the house is Michelangelo's David, the world's most iconic statue. So I closed down an entire museum until two o'clock in the morning and I set up a table of six at the feet of Michelangelo's David. And then while the clients are eating their past to, I actually had Andrea Bocelli coming and serenade them. So that was my idea of an italian meal. So as you can appreciate, I gave him far much more than just going on the italian version of open table and booking a cool table with a view. That's extraordinary. How do you even come up with something like that? Go for stupid. No, it's, it's, we came up with this context through my wife, I was having a dinner party a few years back with some friends of mine and you know, I believe you are the room you're in. So I always try to associate and communicate with people that I revere and I admire and I want to be part of and I want that genius to bleed somewhat into this dim light bulb.

So I had a dinner party and at the dinner party we had, you know like jim quick jay, abraham, a whole bunch of other really cool creative disruptors as I call them and jim asked a question, he's very much into marvel and superheroes and he did this dinnertime conversation that if you were a superhero, what would your superpower be? And there were people going like communication and problem solving and you know, I can make you a billionaire. There were all these kind of statements coming across and it got to me and I had heard about nine people in front of me giving me a chance to go, okay, what's my, what am I? You know, I'm, I'm the man that makes things happen, I can create the impossible to pasta and I'm trying to come up with this and it gets to me and they said, so steve, what would you wash your superpower? And my wife turned around and butted in and she went ignorance and I thought to myself, well I'm getting divorced, you know, we've been together, she was 16 and I was 17, so 35 years this year, I think it is.

So I'm looking at her, I'm a table of peers, she just called me ignorant and I was mildly starting to simmer and she turned around and she said, he's never been frightened of going for it, you know, while everyone else has got these parameters, steve's ignorant to the fact that he could possibly fail. So he takes his passion, his drive and the ignorance that he can't possibly be declined or turned down. And she turned around and she looked at the table, she said, how many of you here and you all know him? How many of you here have seen him do something And then gone, how the hell did you pull that off? And she said, and I think it's because nine times out of 10 he can't see all of the parameters and the roadblocks and the obstacles that may be overcomplicated people do. So I think his superpower is ignorance to that. And so for one it rescued my marriage and I didn't divorce her, but I suddenly realized that I've never been frightened and I've gone for the ridiculous, how far can I take this now.

I told you the story about the museum in Florence. Yes. over 25 years of me trying to do these amazing, ridiculous experiences. Well beyond what the client asked me for probably about a good 90% of the time I failed on what my first stretch was. I would get turned on, you know, Buckingham Palace, can I throw a party in Buckingham Palace? No. Alright. So what's the next thing that what you notice is when you go for the stupid, when you go for the ridiculous never Go for the impossible because impossible is a dead end and you just acknowledged it as a dead end by class and it is impossible. So go for stupid. Go for ridiculous. Go for the amazing. And then when you fail, you may fail 10 times. But where you end up is meghan miles distant from the original goal. So the client doesn't contemplate you failed. He just looks at and goes, hang on, I asked for this and he gave me this and I'm just amazed at how many people when they dream, how they dream with parameters and that kind of is an oxymoron to me when you dream, I'm slimmer in my dreams.

I'm better looking in my dreams and I float around on a floating carpet in my dreams because that's what dreams are about, wow, brilliant, brilliant. So all right, so let me talk about this real quick. So first of all, your wife is brilliant. It sounds like you married up the same way I did. Yeah, we have brilliant wives that have helped us to become the people that we are today. So bravo for her because I know you and I understand you and how you think when she said your ignorance, I knew exactly what she meant by that and the genius of it, which is extraordinary. I love to figure out the how you don't get scared, you know where that came from because most everybody is scared. So, I got two questions for you first, how did and I know you say it's ignorance, but there has to be a part of you that somehow figured that I might as well go for it, right? And so how do you in your mind not be afraid to ask for something? And then the second question is how do you know if something is impossible because you have done the impossible so many times?

All right, so give you the easiest answer to the shortest question. Nothing is impossible. Okay, it's only impossible until someone does it. So there is absolutely nothing impossible. There is nothing that can't be achieved. That's the first thing I literally have that I've sent people down to the titanic. I've had him on stage with their favorite rock star, I've had him doing walk on roles on movies, playing drums with guns and roses. Yeah, I've done so many different things. There is zero, that's impossible. Okay, so that's the first thing, So that actually gives you a little bit of power knowing that secondly you asking me, how am I not scared? Okay, and how am I not frightened of these things and my fear you're wrong. Okay, I'm actually scared and frightened a lot like I do, I used to fight kickboxing, okay, not because I wanted to beat anyone up, but it challenged me and the funny thing is when you're in a boxing ring and you're doing kickboxing with someone, you can't be thinking about your laundry and your gas bill, so you have to learn how to focus and operate at maximum potential.

I also race motorcycles and I'll tell you, I sit on the grid before the green light goes down and I'm petrified, okay, but when you're scared you only have two options, go for it or back out. What I'm find of is me and the man I could have been, so for me, the fear propels me, you show me something that's scary and I openly tell my coaching clients what scares and intimidates you is probably what you need to be doing three times as much of we walk away, we run away. Now here's the difference for today, the people that meet that roadblock and go, who would, that's a bit scarier back off, that's the entrepreneur community, that's the group that are now during this covid times binge watching on netflix, but the entrepreneur is going, yeah, that's scary, I acknowledge it's scary, so let's grow from it now when I do something that's scary, I achieve something, I grow from it, I'm now empowered and my new normal is higher than what it was before I tried.

I've got to a point now where I am not going to miss out on an opportunity, I am not going to miss out on a challenge, I am not going to miss out on being scared. So I invite the fear. I invite the scare because also at that moment, Every single hair on your body is tingling. You are at max flow, you are at 10,000 revs per minute and ready to explode into whatever you're gonna do. Why would you run away from that emotion? It doesn't make sense to me. Oh my God, I love it. That is so good. So, I literally wrote this book about you during the pandemic. I just got a pre release copy is called one belief away. Your one belief away from anything. And I wrote it with jove italian. He's been saying for years, anything is possible. You know, well, you know, men can't have babies. Actually, Male seahorses have babies. So there is an animal on the planet that's a male that can have babies. All right, anything is possible. And you're just one belief away from that.

I've been saying for years, you know, your biggest breakthroughs are hidden in the places you don't want to go. And if you go there, if you have this motto, if I can't, I must you're going to have a shining life. And I was riveted when you said steve that you know, I would be terrified to meet the man that I was supposed to be or the woman that I was supposed to become, I could have become and I didn't because I held back because I was shy or I was afraid that someone would say no how we hold ourselves back. This just riveting. I'm tingling right now. It's amazing how we've grown up in a society. And I'm very fortunate here That being the ripe old age of 53, I grew up in decades where I didn't have social network and social networks and instagram to tell me how inadequate my life was. And so I didn't have any of that. So now I grow up when I look at instagram and I see someone leaning up against the car that they don't own and I don't care.

So I'm immune to that pressure that is only accepted. You are the ones that accept that pressure from those social feeds and then acknowledge it by going, well he's prettier than I am. She's sexier than I am. You know, I'm inadequate here. Why are you accepted it? You know, it really doesn't matter. At the end of the day when you're dying, no one's going to refer to how many likes they got on facebook no one's gonna care. Your life is going to flash in front of your eyes and as far as I'm concerned when I'm on my deathbed and my life flashes in front of my eyes. I want it to be so jam packed that there's an intermission for popcorn. That's what I want. You have to take a break because you literally explode. Oh my gosh, I love it so much. That's so great. So you wrote this book called Blue Fishing, right, just took off went crazy international best selling book.

So tell us the story about how you put that book together. Again. I said earlier that you are the room you're in, the benefit of knowing powerful people is the wheels get to move better for you. So I was in a party in new york and someone introduced me and they had told this person what I did and they were with Simon Schuster, one of the biggest publication houses in the planet. And they came back to me a week later and when hey, you remember our conversation and bearing in mind no pitch. So anyone out there writing a book, I'm sorry, but I didn't do any of that. And they contacted me and they went, we'd like you to write a book. Now, if anyone has ever received an email from me, they know I can't write for ship, but again, never allow your writing ability to get in the way of you producing a book, you know, that's what ghost writers are for. And you know, proof readers. So I got asked to write a book naming the people that I worked for and the amazing experiences that I did for them. Now if I was to do that, I would be dead before I stirred my old fashioned tonight.

So I literally said can't be doing that and I did about two weeks later I was doing a speaking gig with a guy called joe polish a genius network and apparently I've never been able to validate this, but someone in the audience knew someone in Simon Schuster that had mentioned my name and I was on stage talking about impact marketing, how to focus on your R. O. R, which is your return on relationships, held a brand and how a you know, a big built british lad with piercings and tattoos riding around on a motorbike is now working with Elon musk and the Pope. So I was doing this whole speech on this about getting rid of all of the other preconceived ways that you should brand yourself. And they told Simon Schuster about it and they came back to me, I don't really declined the book, they came back to me and they went, hang on a minute, we would like you to write the book on how a bricklayer from London was able to do this, not mentioning clients names, if you want to mention the experiences which we do.

We mentioned a lot of stories like the, the Andrea Bocelli story in there, but never mentioned the client's names. So I thought to myself, this is a good way for me to actually write a book that will hopefully change one person, it will hopefully change someone to do something different and help create the world that I want to live in. So it's very selfish reasons I got paid very well for it. But so I wrote the book with a ghost rider because I can't write very well and we released it. Now here's the dumb thing As you know because you're an author, you're supposed to do marketing for the book, you're supposed to go on a press tour, you're supposed to go on TV stuff, you're supposed to do all of that. Well I was probably the most connected unknown guy for about 25 plus years. I didn't want to do any of that. Okay. Plus the fact had already been paid for by the book and I'm gonna, if I may I'm gonna direct people to go and check out a video.

The video doesn't sell anything, but if you go to steve d sims dot com and scroll down to where it says book, you'll see a video. I'm not asking to buy the book, don't do anything else watch the video because what I did was I actually got a check sent to me which was weird because the publishing house had always wired me the money for the book and they wired in installments as you know. But they sent me a check and it was 2.5 grand and I was like what the hell is this for? And they said you need to do a book launch and I said to worcester's for and they said this is and they had found my local Barnes and Noble here in Los Angeles and they said we want you to rent a table by champagne and sit down there on a saturday afternoon and signed the books as people come in. Now for anyone that is lucky enough to be watching the video of this, I'm not the kind of guy you want to walk up and start having a conversation with. I don't look warm and fuzzy.

So the idea of me sitting in Barnes and Noble at 2 30 on a saturday afternoon as you're walking around with your kids, you are not going to turn around and go, well that man looks interesting, let's go and chat with him. So I didn't do that. What I did was I went down to my local whiskey bar and I said to him, here's the deal, I've got to do this book launch. So we're gonna to make it a book launch. I had to shove a bunch of books on the end of the bar. I'm gonna sign over this 2.5 grand. Check to you. I'm going to invite a bunch of buddies when we blow out the 2.5 grand, you know, rattle the bell, turn the lights on and we're buggered off. And they were like, yeah, fine. So I did the book launch with no publication, no marketing. I literally just invited a ton of friends and of course I've got some pretty cool friends. So we did it in this whiskey bar now, there's a couple in there called Coal and Sanya Honda and they run one of the largest events in Vegas called thrive and they were guests of this party.

And cole was actually doing a sizzle wheel and knew that I would have some, you know, influential people at the party. And he said, do you mind if we get some like b roll for cole's new scissor wheel? And I went, yeah, knock yourself out. So they had a friend of theirs with this tiny little camera because cameras are quite small now in any case and I thought they were filming for coal. So it turns out the following day or maybe two days later, they sent me this video and without me realizing it, they had done a video of my book launch and a whiskey bar in Hollywood. Now, I want you to watch the video because for one it's a fantastically done video. They did a beautiful job and a very appreciative at the beginning of the video, everyone's saying nice things about me because they're all sober. And then as the night goes on, if you're worried about foul language, do not watch the video past halfway.

But everyone suddenly starts getting drunk and its support. Now when I was sent the video, I didn't even have a website because I thought to myself, this isn't going to go and the publishing house contact me. And they said steve, you've got to do a website, you've got. So we put this website together and we the website started just with this video. And I thought to myself, hey, if you want to know who you're dealing with, there you go. And I put it and it took off now, the websites a lot more elaborate now. But the point is, would I have done as well if I was aware that I was being filmed that night, or was the magic in the fact that it was the raw, the rawness of that evening that exposed me and the connections I had. And I've always wondered that, and I think it's probably the latter, the rougher the better. But take a look at the video will make you laugh, especially knowing what you do now. Oh my gosh, I'm running to that. So, steve dee Simms S I M S dot com, We'll have that in the show links, watch that video.

And I am suggesting that everybody watching and listening to this by this book, Blue fishing, because the stories are so extraordinary and so mesmerizing that it causes you to think way bigger then how most people think that most people think very small because they think about what they believe they could afford, or they could reach, or what was possible. And so we shoot small, you know, we don't shoot for the moon. You know, we barely shoot for the atmosphere, you know, and so you know, but people who shoot for the moon, that's why they say shoot for the moon if you miss, you're still among the stars. And I think that you're exactly right, you not knowing your friends, making such a classy move of putting together that real for you. And then the fact that it was so genuine that, you know, the relationships that you fostered so that people wanted to do that for you. You know, one of the blessings about this and you said it many times is you don't have to know how to do all these different things. You just create so many amazing experiences for people that they know how to do it and they'll do it for you and they'll do it gladly.

Right? So it's the relationships that you build, the friendships that you create and then, you know, I love how you think because whenever I'm working with someone, I'm always thinking what can I do, You know, it's like almost like we're in a competition to provide more value. I want to provide more value for you than you could ever provide for me. Which if I was doing that with you, I'm not exactly sure how I pulled that off, but there's it's just possible there's a way, right? Yeah. And so, you know, the other thing too is that when I first started asking for big, you know, reaching for big dreams, you know, I put together this legend summit where all these people that I grew up listening to their audio books because I didn't like to read, but I listen to audiobooks right from the library cause I didn't have any money. So I go to the library and listen to audiobooks and cassette tapes. And now, you know, I have all those people on my phone, all these legends are my friends. I'm like, how in the world did that even happen? Right? And it happened fast And it's because of all the things that you're sharing, you know, go for it, ask when you get an idea, trust it, it's like the universe is saying, do this, do it now.

And if you listen then the universe says, oh, we got a live one, let's give him some more, let's give her some more. Let's see what else they do. And then if you keep doing something good with it, it's like miracles show up every single day. Exactly, You're totally right. You get what you put out and if you're ready for greatness, it sounds corny, but it'll show up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not corny. It's just that we have so much insecurity and judgment and worry that we always have to preface what we're about to say with. I know this might sound corny, I know this might sound silly or doing stupid and that's our old fear, that's our old way of kind of pushing it down instead of saying this ain't corny, there's brilliance, right? And I hope you get it and if you don't, that's okay, it's okay. Alright, so wow. So are there some experiences that you would like to have? I mean, it sounds like you're doing so many amazing things and and the most powerful experiences that you're creating them for other people so that your vicariously living through them, which really is awesome.

But is there something, I mean, do you want to a seat to the moon or what is it that that would light you up? Well, the funny thing is I'm actually quite dull. I, you know, I live up here in the hills with my family and my dogs, I ride motorcycles, I don't have a car, I barbecue, I knock up my own cocktails, I don't need to do anything and you're right vicariously, I'll get a phone call and then I'll have to be in venice in three days and suddenly I'm in this experience, which is very cool. But since the book came out, I'm now doing a lot more coaching. I'm now working with a lot of entrepreneurs to get them disrupted and get them into a state of being able to do greater things. I found that that is more exciting and more rewarding. Maybe not financially like closing down the museum for one night, but you suddenly see the knock on effect because when I was a concierge, I was giving someone a great cocktail story. I always said that I made your cocktail stories more interesting and I would charge you a million and a half dollars to do.

So now I'm working with entrepreneurs on how to develop and I've got entrepreneurs like dentists, plumbers, realtors, real estate investors, these are all entrepreneur clients of my coaching, where I'm now working with them to stop them thinking small and to stop them feeling inferior and to discover what their unicorn is and then go out and creatively disrupt their marketplace. So that's where my excitement is now in being able to get people out there, get them uncomfortable and then get them out. I mean you have really figured it out And to know this at 53 is really extraordinary. Some people never figure this out, but you really have figured it out. You've you've discovered the secret to what life is all about. You know, finding out what your gifts are and then sharing them with others and coming back full circle to your roots, starting out, you know, a bricklayer and trying to figure out how to make things happen and not coming from a lot of material wealth and to now, hanging out with people that have all the material wealth, right?

And and for you not getting caught up in it, realizing that those are experiences, but not getting addicted to it right? Coming back and figuring out where can I add value, where can I not just the next high, the next adrenaline high, that often gets people taken out early because they just need to have that next rush, I'm gonna jump off a mountain next and so I just love how you've taken it back full circle and now you get to help people with you know, having Bocelli sing to you while you're having a meatball in Rome as is extraordinary. Also having somebody who has a small business and who realizes that they actually deserve to be happy and could do something extraordinary for their wife or their kids, I don't know about you, I bet that it's equally exciting for you. No, it's more exciting formats because as you're developing that business and as you're developing the mindset of the entrepreneur, it doesn't just affect them, it does affect our wife, it does affect their kids, it affects the workforce that they've got and then subsequently into their family.

So it's a much greater reward to help people establish businesses, established futures and identify what they're great at and then optimize it, optimize it, monetize it and this is the thing, people get scared of monetizing things when you charge someone to do something, You're saving them the five years that it would have taken for them to get as qualified as you to be able to do it in those 10 minutes, so you're actually doing them a service a favor, you're solving their problem. You should always be happy to charge when that's the situation. That's such great advice because time is the great equalizer, right? That's the one thing that we all have the same amount of and there were a few. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah. If you can save him five years you know, of, of running around in a circle, it's worth whatever you charge. Yeah. Yeah, wow. That's extraordinary. So uh steve amazing. So can you share another story, wow.

Like what happened with the titanic? I won't share another story because that'll just maybe sitting here telling you how brilliant and wonderful I am and that won't help anybody. So let me give you a lesson that I learned from Bocelli. Okay. That can help you. This isn't a story I tell many people. So I set up the table at the feet of Michelangelo's David for nine o'clock at night and the client came in, had the entire museum to themselves. And then as they were in pastor, there's a string quartet playing and a pianist and I bring Andrea Bocelli in. Okay, phenomenal evening, phenomenal. I had goose bumps. I couldn't believe this amazing experience that I had created. But something happened during that night. There was actually more powerful when I had got the approval to get everything done from the powerful people that looked after the museum. They put me in touch with the curator and the curator was the guy that had to oversee it.

Now the curator of any museum looks as these artifacts as life and religion themselves, especially in somewhere like Florence. Okay, so this curators looked at me on. One thing I forgot to tell you, I had two days by the way to get this ready. So from request to pulling it off, I pulled it off in two days. We didn't have a lot of time. Every time I spoke to the curator and I went, hey, we've got the chef's coming in, we've got the decorators coming in, we've got the people with the table coming in is okay at this. He would look at me and he'd be like, yeah, we'll see what they can do. He would never say yes outright. He would always kind of stress me out. And so this was actually annoying me and I'm gonna give you, it's going to be an immature story. But there's gonna be a point to it that can help your people. So please stick with it. So, as the whole thing came about over the two days and this curate was annoying me, annoying me, annoying me.

We got to the Wednesday night and it was about seven o'clock in the evening, the client wasn't turning up until nine. So I had like about four or five hours in the whole museum just on my own with Andrea Bocelli. So as this was being done I was looking at the table andre went over to the piano because his son was actually the pianist. So they were chatting and warming up his vocal cords. And I was chatting away with veronica Bocelli on jay's wife. And the curator was leaning against the wall on the other side, just looking at everything going on in his museum. And so I had realized that I had now pulled it off. The chefs were in here, the staff to cater in the table. Everything was done. Everything was there. We were good. The only thing that had to happen was the client turner. That was the only thing at that stage that we felt could have gone wrong. And I, in my immature state, I wanted to poke this curator for basically making it very aggravating because of all of his superiors.

Hey, they were all on my side. You know, all the big people, They all believed in me and they will, yes steve, let's get that done. He didn't like the fact that I was this guy from another country that just flew in and could by my way and talk my way. And then he looked down on me, Yeah. So I said to, and I'm not gonna mention his name. So I'm stood there and I'm like, hey, you know, come here a minute. So he looks at me as I'm beckoning him over to me and he came over and he stood next to me with his arms crossed and he's looking towards the table. And I said to my winter, look at that table, If you were going to have a meal, can you tell me it would be on a better laid out table? And that is that not beautiful? It was all gold and there was a candle sticks and it was stunning. And he's like, no, it is beautiful and I apologize about the italian accent, but it's, it's for atmosphere. He's like, no, it is beautiful. And I said, and look at the view because bearing in mind It was 10 ft away from the feet of Michelangelo's David, okay, the most iconic statue.

And I went, can you believe that they're going to be eating their pastor tonight with that as that view, Can you believe that? And he's like, no, it is, it is wonderful. And I said yes, but let's not stop there. Can you believe that? We've got the maestro himself, the world's most iconic italian singer Andrea Bocelli is actually going to serenade them while they eat, They did it, Can you believe that? And he's like, no, it is mind boggling. It's amazing. So I'm getting these confirmations and I thought to myself and I told you I was immature this was the time I was about to give him a slap. Okay? And I turned around and went, so how come you think I pulled it off and this was where I was expecting him to say something like, well no one's as connected as you steve or no one can do things like this steve or no one says, you know, whatever great negotiation or greater dream. I was expecting any one of those things that would have basically clarified that it was all me and he shouldn't have tried getting in my way, you know, I don't try and fight with me in my sandpit and all he did was he looked at me and he went, No 1's ever asked and it killed me, I suddenly realized and I literally bent over him saying that, acknowledged to me that people don't ask for things and they're fighting to ask.

So guess what, they don't achieve and in this situation we had asked for everything. He had just given me a smack in the genitals when I was the one trying to basically be little him. And as I stood up because I literally folded over as I stood up, this annoying little man was now looking at me with this massive, great grin on his face and we, after the event, we went out and had a steak florentine, we've stayed in touch and we've been really good friends ever since. That's why I won't mention his name, but you know what happened? I flew back to L. A a few days later and I went on a splurge because that flight could not get me back to L. A fast enough because I had a mission. I started phoning up the studios, the celebrities, the singers, the pentagon all of these places that I had worked or been involved in and I said to them, hey great to chat with you. Do you remember when we did this two years ago, 12 months ago?

Too much? I just wanted to ask you, how can we manage to do it? How come it happened? I'm just trying to reverse engineer and analyze it. Every single one of them came back to me with the exact same answer. They went, well no one's ever asked steve, you know you and it was mind blowing how we limit what we want, We go for what we can settle, We go for what we think is achievable. Now if you've never closed down a museum and had an iconic singer come in, how can you know that's achievable but the second you do, that's your new normal. So it really did teach me a valuable lesson that people don't ask. They don't dream. They don't go. They sadly, too much time they settle. Oh my God, that might be the best story I've ever heard my whole life and ideal in stories that was just riveting and it illustrates why I asked the question of tell me another story because not so that you can just tell stories, although I love every one of them but so that people have ideas of how to dream bigger because we don't even know what to ask for you, Give someone a magic wand or a lamp for them to rub and they always say I want a million dollars, what would you do with that?

Well then I would pay off my house and I would travel right and then I give some money to charity and then what you know, you ask them a couple of then watch and then I have no idea, yep. Because we have no idea. We don't know and that's okay. You know, this is what makes me laugh. People people want to know and that's why they settle for the right there in there's this horrible line out there, better the devil, you know, Okay. And people don't like being uncomfortable and you are uncomfortable when you drive a car that you've never driven before. You're uncomfortable when you're in a city that you've never been in before, you're uncomfortable when you're having dinner with someone do you don't know and people don't like being uncomfortable, but here's a concept. Just imagine if you can get comfortable with being uncomfortable, what can you then achieve? We spoke earlier about the speakeasies. My whole role is to get people comfortable with being uncomfortable and they explode once they get to that state because all of a sudden they know that anything is achievable because they have already comfortable in a state of the unknown and then they can go from there.

So good. Okay, so we have to talk about that real quick. I know we're possibly running out of time but oh my gosh, so these speakeasies that you have put together, can you explain? I can explain for you, but I just love how you do it. So tell everybody what to speak easy is what your version of a speakeasy is and why it's such an extraordinary experience. So I've spoken at hundreds of stages all over the planet and I've attended a million events were actually not a million, but hundreds of events and they all seem to follow the same kind of flow. You know, it starts at this time, it's at such and such hotel and at 10 o'clock this person comes on and then there's lunch and at two o'clock there and you get all this information for you to quantify whether or not it's worth you going okay. And when you get there you may be going for one or two of the speakers but you're not going for all of them. And one of the other ones may be a good surprise to you, but the rest of them are like, I shouldn't have bothered or you don't even get up from out of your hotel room when you walk into the thing late and I thought to myself that doesn't make sense to me.

What's the difference between you doing that and maybe then just looking them up on youtube and watching the exact same speech? So I wanted to do something that was different. I wanted to do something that created an emotion and experience and a trigger. So I thought to myself, I'm going to reverse engineer these events and I then started okay, where is it going to be? Well I'm gonna throw it in and I would come up with a city, we've been doing it for 2.5 years now. We do three a year and next ones in january in san Diego. And all we ever do is we list the city and the dates And then give you the chance to press the button and pay $2,000 to attend. Now why should you pay $2,000 for an event? You don't even know the location of, you don't even know where it's going to be Now we only allow 40 people to turn up. We tried it with a fewer number and we also tried it with a bigger number.

We have 65. We found that 14 was still intimate enough to be able to communicate with everyone to go through the exercises. So that's our golden number. So we never go over 40 people. And what we do is someone will go on, they will purchase and then what we do is we contact that person and we go, hey tim thank you very much for registering to go to speakeasy san Diego Mino Los Angeles. We've done them all over America and we say thank you very much Tim for registering. Why did you do that? What's wrong with you? What's your problem? We ask that question. Okay. And then what you'll do is you'll go, well I run a real estate company. I'm looking to get more clients, more opportunities, more brand away, you tell us what's your problem is and then I can actually make sure that the people that are coming in to teach you, I'm actually there to answer your problem.

You're not just turning up because someone, so is there, I'm now going to put people in there that are going to talk directly to you and your problem and solve your problem before they leave that room. So we never have them in hotels. They're always in penthouses, lofts underground's base. We always have them in weird, quirky places and we bring people in to actually answer your problems. And we've had people on the rooftop of louis Vuitton. We've had um, and Cipriani's with surround and john we've had them in a Los Angeles penthouse with ken craig and jay Abraham and a prostitute, which was funny as hell that one. But the point is that because you've paid And because you've now turned up with 40 people not knowing who's going to be there What you're gonna do and what you're going to experience you're now in a room of 40 like minded people that are uncomfortable and perfectly comfortable about being uncomfortable and it changes you and that's that's why we do to speakeasies.

We did a couple because I thought they would be funny. I did the first one because I really wanted to test my credibility, I wanted to say. Because many people go, you throw a good event and I'll come. Well, everyone loves the idea until they have to pay. So I thought to myself, I'm going to do an event $2,000, who's coming? Mm And I had, I think about 25 people sign up, Okay. And I was like, why are you signing up? You don't know anything? And they were like, no, but we know you're gonna do it. I was like, okay, so I've got a bit, so that's why we first did it, I wanted to test my credibility, but people talk about the last event they went to, so that's obviously helped us, you know, grow, but we never never tell people what they're going to get involved in who they're going to be with other than the fact that you're gonna be in a room full of creative rock stars, wow, I love that. I mean, it really encapsulates everything you teach, right, and it gives you an experience that, you know, going into a situation that you don't know anything about.

I mean, that level of uncertainty is hugely exciting. That's what attracts people, you don't want the same old thing over and over even with my Legends Summit, I didn't have people one at a time, you know, we brought them all in at the same time and then we had conversations where we got to be a fly on the wall, you know what if brian Tracy Les Brown were privately strategizing about how to grow their business and we could eavesdrop in on it. Yeah, that's how I did it and built it up. You took it to a whole other level, my God, I love it. Well, I'm definitely going to one of these, so I mean this is just outstanding. Oh my gosh, that's so, so exciting. You're just you are brilliant and I know you're already going to say no, I'm an idiot, but I learned through trial and error what works? You are a student of success? I am Yeah. And you know, you're one of those guys that people can really learn from because you are very comfortable talking about all the ways that you screwed up and learn from it. Yeah, we said, you know in our preamble that you know, your greatest success comes from those failures and learning what didn't work.

You know, your growth never comes from being successful, it comes from when things go wrong, whether it be dramatically wrong or a little bit wrong and then correcting that and tweaking it and editing it, that's what creates your greatest growth. So I remember someone saying to me and it's I hope you're not going to ask it, but I doubt if you would have done. But a lot of interviewers will turn around and go, hey steve, if you could go back to your 18 year old self and you know, what would you whisper in their ear? And the only thing I've ever said is I would tell them to stay off the crap whiskey, you know, I would not save them from any of the pain, the pitfalls, the wrongdoings, because that's where they became empowered. That's where they found their superpower ability, that's where they found their confidence, their education. Why would I be so rude to actually take that away from them? So I've often said that, you know, relishing those failures because that's what's going to give you a superpower boom! There it is, I don't think it could be said any better than that, wow, steve sims everybody, holy cow, extraordinary advice from a guy who has created extraordinary experiences for so many people on the planet and I'm so excited for what you're going to do with the next 53 years of your life.

Hold on everybody, it is gonna be quite a ride. Yeah, so steve, We want people to go to steve d sims dot com and then watch that video you were talking about about your book, launch event, grabbed the book, Blue fishing, sign up for one of his speakeasy events, he's got one coming up in SAn Diego in january, so make sure that you do something bold and sign up for that because it will truly transform your life steve. Thank you so much for being one of the most mesmerizing guests I've ever had on this program. It's been a pleasure to be here. Thanks for having me. Alright, alright everybody. Holy crap, that was incredible, right? Oh my God, that was so good. So make sure you check out his website, follow steve. The guy is really a genius, humble genius and just check his stuff out. It really is extraordinary. It's like going on, you know some kind of a Star Wars versus Jurassic park where you know and all the other blockbuster movies you've ever seen all into one and steve's right in the middle of it, where in uh you know indiana jones hat so actually he'd be sitting there with the leather jacket on a bike.

So check him out steve D sims dot com and grab his book and check out the speakeasy events because they truly will transform your life and use what you've learned today. He's dropped some serious wisdom, use it and make your life mesmerizing and we'll see you next time. Bye everybody. Hey, would you like more free tips on how to be a mesmerizing leader then check out mesmerizing leadership dot com and also hang out with me on facebook facebook dot com forward slash tim Sure, thanks so much and make your day assure success. Hey, it's Tim Sherwood. You like to learn my best secrets for how to be mesmerizing. Then head over to www. Dot surviving to thriving dot me. That's w w w dot surviving to thriving dot me. I'll see you there.

How To Crush Self-Imposed Boundaries! | Steve Sims & Tim Shurr
How To Crush Self-Imposed Boundaries! | Steve Sims & Tim Shurr
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