wherever it leads. Don't be distracted by less worthy needs shelter it, nourish it! Help it to grow. Hold your dream deep down deep with dreams grow. Here's the question, what's going on inside the minds of top achievers that caused them to make extraordinary breakthroughs both personally and professionally. My name is Tim Sure. And I invite you to join me as we take a deep dive into the unconscious mind and discover how to transform your biggest dreams into a reality. Welcome to the how to be mesmerizing podcast. Oh, we've got a legend in the house. Dr willie Jolley is with us. Dr jolly. Welcome to the program. Tim is a privilege and a pleasure to treat and a treasure, a joy beyond measure for me to be in your presence and to be with all of your mesmerizing incredible folks and I'm grateful. But those who know me know I start my X. M. Show my speeches. Everything I do with a single minute. I have only just a minute, only 60 seconds and it forced upon me.
I can't refuse it. I didn't seek it. I didn't choose it. But it's up to me to use it. I must suffer if I lose it. Give account if I abuse it just a tiny little minute. But our eternities a wrapped up in it. So I'm grateful for this minute, this moment. This opportunity to be on with you and have a great day today. Oh my gosh! So ladies and gentlemen, this is why dr jolly is one of the top five most successful speakers in the world. This guy. I mean that was the best introduction that I think I've ever heard, thank you, thank you. I'm joe, I'm just honored. I'm grateful, I'm grateful, wow man. Well I'm grateful that you took time out of your busy schedule to be with me today. So let's jump right in because I have so many questions for you, How All right, So what would you say is the secret to your personal success? Wow, that's a great question, tim I think the secret to my success is twofold. It's a dual, I guess a dual pronged two pronged positioning one successful and the secret is faith.
My faith is a major part of my success because I have an expectation that good is gonna come from my efforts. I got a great faith in God, I got a great faith in what the possibilities and so faith is a part of it, and the other part of it is a commitment to excellence. I made a commitment years ago to excellence when I had been comfortable with mediocrity, but I realized that mediocrity wasn't getting me anywhere. So I made a commitment to excellence and I said I'm going to outwork out hustle out struggle out everything everybody and I just see where it ends up where it takes me and has served me well. So my faith mixed with my excellence and I think there's a way to say that, that I love a lot, It says, you must pray like it all depends on God and then work like it all depends on you, you must give all you've got on a daily basis and you do your part, God going to do his part. And I found that to be truth.
So I'm very grateful. I'm very honored that I've had some success and yet tim I think sometimes I'm just getting started. Just getting started. I know for something though, here's what I know, tim Here's what I know. Yes, that the best is yet to come. That's what I know and I know that for not just for me though, for everybody who is listening, watching any part of this, that their best is yet to come. If if they stay faithful and they stay focused on excellence. There's a little piece in my book. It only takes so many change of life. Follow your dream wherever it leads. Don't be distracted by less worthy needs shelter it nourish it, help it to grow. Hold your dream deep down deep with dreams grow, follow your dream, pursue it with haste. Life is too precious to fleeting to waste, be faithful, be loyal and all the day through with a spirit of excellence, your dreams will keep coming true.
Can I have an amen, I got tingles. I got tingles! Oh my gosh! And for those who are just listening to this, he has this all memorized. It's all in his mind is coming out of his heart, you know, he's not reading from anything. I mean, wow, dr jolly, It's amazing. I mean, really? Well that's you know, it would be honest with you, tim thank you for saying that. But let me even even discourse on that in my book, a setback setup for a comeback, I say there are four levels of thinking. That's the impossible, the unconsciously incompetent, the consciously incompetent, the conscious competence and the unconscious competence. Now unconsciously incompetent, I don't know that, I don't know what, I don't know. Okay, there's so much stuff, I don't know, I'm unconsciously incompetent on so much of that stuff and so much stuff in life. So when I was in graduate school, one of my professors said, you know, you got a lot, I said he said you're gonna have a lot of ignorance, you got to get rid of.
I said that's exactly right. So I'm unconsciously, but then there's conscious and competent. I know I don't know how to fly a plane. So if somebody gave me a little jet says your go flying, I say I don't know what to do, if you don't teach me if I don't so I know I'm consciously incompetent, but then there's conscious competence, first time you drive a car, you got to be consciously competent, okay, okay, let's see what did the teacher told me to do, Put both hands on steering wheel, put it in gear, make sure that draws a lot at my seatbelt on, turn the key, put my foot on the brake, okay? And you go through that retinue of things you're supposed to remember because that's what you just learned. But you get to a point where you're unconsciously competent, that you're driving a car, drinking coffee, talking on the phone, eating a sandwich and all of that at the same time that we all get to. Well, in terms of my speaking, You mentioned, I don't have notes. No, I don't have any notes. But this is from 30 years of me creating this reservoir.
And thank God, my mind still works relatively well. And it can draw up a point of interest are born of consciousness that I think will be of help to somebody. And you know what motivates my consciousness is when you brought that up how maybe there's somebody who wants to be a speaker. Somebody who has an interest in being a messenger of hope and possibility, but they need to know how do you do it? And and one of the things, you know, I have a boot camp every year and then we started a whole new program online, You can speak now dot com to get people some entry level just to get them started. And one of the things I tell them in in those programs is that you'll go through different levels of thinking and learning and expertise. So that at one point you'll be saying now, what is my speech about that? I have to read it. Maybe I can go to outline to a point where I've been on a stage, I tell this story often have been speaking somewhere I don't know. And I flew into national airport in Washington, D.
C. My wife picked me up and said, we've got to go right to my nephews, Eagle Scout commissioning or event or ceremony and it was a big deal and the church was packed out where this was happening. And so we got there in time for the beginning, but I forgot my camera, I left my camera in my bag. So as they were, you know, five or seven minutes into it before the activities, they were still having an entry level speakers and the guy who was moderating was standing up and I said, I'm gonna go get my camera. So I stood up to go get my camera to walk out and the guy said, uh look, Willy charlie's here, oh my goodness, willie jolly's here, willie johnny come up and say some words to everybody as we celebrate this Eagle Scout moment. Come up now, I got about 20 steps from there to the first step going up to the rostrum. And so I said, what am I going to say? I got 20 steps to pull this together. And that's when I started pulling these things from all of these years in my mind.
And so I get to the stand, I stand up, I get in and I say, I'm here today to celebrate my nephew brian and a great accomplishment that he has had for us today of becoming an Eagle Scout and he is a model of excellence for all of us. But you must understand how he had to make some decisions and over the years I've shared with people how powerful it is that you must decide whether you're going to be an eagle or not. Seeing. There's a story about an eagle that left had his egg up on the top of the highest mountain peak. A strong wind came and blew that eagle leg off the mountainside and rolled down into a valley and rode into a chicken farm. The mother saw the new little egg and said, I'm gonna sit on it. They must be a different kind of egg, it's different, looks weird. But she sat on it, it finally hatched how can this big big and these big wings and these big claws and she said, what a funny looking chicken. And even though that bird was born with eagle jeans and eagle chromosomes, it was born in chicken surroundings.
It thought like a chicken walk like a chicken talk like a chicken dream. Like a chicken, Its biggest chicken dream was to get up on top of the fence and crow like a rooster said, if I can do that, maybe, maybe, maybe they won't laugh at me no more because I look different. But one day it talked himself out of it. It's it. But you know, I can't get up on top of the fence. I'm a chicken, chickens don't fly. Oh well, and one day when I checked in the chicken yard picking for corn, like the other little chickens looked up in the sky and saw the most amazing sight I had ever seen in his life. So the site of an eagle flying majestically across the sky, like the king of the sky said, wow, what are you? An eagle with the powerful hearing and powerful eyesight, saw the little bird and food straight down and said, what am I? What are you? And a little bird said, I'm a chicken, can eagle said, look at my face, you look just like me, look at my wings, you look like me, look at my claws, You looking at me and said, you're not a chicken, you're an eagle, You were not born to be pecking for corn. You're an eagle flap your wings and fly like the eagle you were born to be.
And a little bird flapped his wings and sword above the clouds. That moment that my nephew decided that he was not gonna be a normal kid, but pursue excellence as an eagle was a minute that his destiny was changed. Thank you very much and I walked off, got a standing ovation. So now I got that, but that was the impact. I'm conscious competence, Wow. You know, I've heard that story 1000 times and listening to you tell it, I feel like I just heard it for the first time. It was so good. Yeah. It's what you say and then how you say it. And if somebody wants to understand what mesmerizing means, they just need to watch you in action because you really know how to bring a story to life and evoke emotion. Yeah, it's just awesome. Thank you. Very, very Good. Yeah. So that's really amazing. I'm sure, wow. Well you really delivered.
I find that you know, I could go give aquino just about anywhere, but if I had to give one in my hometown, that's all of a sudden when I felt like I was 12 years old again and uh right, right, right, right, right, right. We know you absolutely, wow. So, you know, I love what you said about faith and you know, I, I can't tell you how many times I've said God, please take over this business because I know you're going to run it much better than me. You know, I say a prayer every time I get on a stage or anywhere else. And so I love that. And then the idea that you decided that you are going to be excellent, that you are going to strive for excellence, that you weren't going to settle, you aren't going to be complacent and so many people struggle with that. In fact, especially these days where there's so much uncertainty if people are struggling to find their focus, their motivation before they're really hurting now and you are the go to guy when it comes to handling a crisis or you know, I quote your book all the time setback is a setup for a comeback.
It's one of my favorite quotes. In fact, I think it's actually in the new book that I just wrote, I quoted you in it, Bless you. Thank you sir. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. And so I just love it. So how did you figure that out? How did you figure out how to help others? It's hard enough trying to figure out for ourselves, but how did you figure out how to help other people go from a setback to uh come back, You know, I've been always intrigued with how I come up with my books and really each one was a result of some life experience, I believe that it's hard to teach what you don't know. It's hard to lead where you're not willing to go or haven't gone. And so my book, I sat back setup for a comeback as a result of me being a nightclub singer who won awards for best jazz singer, best entertainer, best male vocalist, best inspirational vocalists, I want all these awards as a singer and then when I was in a nightclub where God built into the number 1/9 spot in D.
C. People are lined up seven o'clock, eight o'clock show, nine o'clock for the 10 o'clock show. Things were going great. I bought a house, had a sports car and went in one night and they said we made a change, we love you, people love you but we got to get a better return on investment and the only way to do that with a full night clubs and lower the cost of the bands, the biggest cost. So we bought a carry Okay machine. What about my bills? And I learned that night, nobody cares about you but your bills but you and the people you owe. Yeah I was stunned but it was out of that setback that someone blessed me with a cassette tape, motivational cassette tape. I never heard of motivation, motivational tape before then day tim and it was a guy named charlie, tremendous jones. Oh yeah and charlie jones said in five years you'll be the same person you are today except for two things. The people you meet who inspire you in the books, you read that empower you. And I started reading books, read think and grow rich rich power of positive thinking.
Read the richest man in Babylon, read the magic of thinking big and I just thought I'd read one self help book after another, listening to self help tapes and going to seminars and my chain and it changed my thinking. I took a job with school system and it was as a drug prevention coordinator. And part of my job I had to give little speeches to kids and I found what I was born to do, speak to people, inspire them, use my musical gifts as a as an asset to add to it from the kids. The teachers would say can you come to my teachers group someone, they would say can you come to my church, someone in the church would say, can you come to my company? Someone in the company would say you, can you come to this or that Les Brown, our dear friend, heard about me and invited me to be on tour with him and Gladys Knight the music and motivation dream team tour where they were looking for someone who was a speaker who could also sing music and motivation as the opening act. And I got the spot and they introduced me to radio people. I got a little radio show from there.
Sirius XM was came part of my life and now I got the number one self help show in the country on Sirius XM from their book publishers started calling saying, I heard you on the radio, I want to talk about a book and I wrote a book. It only takes a minute change of life setbacks setup for a comeback turned setbacks in the greenbacks attitude of excellence make love make money making last with me and my wife d marriage book. And then in 1999 I was named one of the top five speakers in the world by Toastmasters. 2000 and five inducted in the speaker hall of fame 2013 named the legend of the speaking industry and all of that happened to him because I got fired and had a setback. So that book was the first four or five pages about my story in that book. But then I quickly deviate from my story to other stories people some of them famous, I'm not who turned the setbacks in the comeback and the lessons I learned from all of these people that helped them turn that setback in the comeback and then this book comes out it becomes a national best seller than a global bestseller and now it's got a resurgent people are buying it like crazy now because this is a setback time.
But as a result of that book, Ford motor company had an exact who read the book and when Ford was on the brink of bankruptcy they said we need to come back and when they said we need to come back this guy said we need to come back there's a guy, I read his book, we should be using him and I got the call from Ford worked before in 2006 2007, 2008, 2009 Fords able to reject a government bailout. the Detroit free press, writes the big article about ford's amazing comeback. And from that day my life changed general motors called then wal mart cart, then johnson and johnson Dubai, then coca cola, South africa, then first bank of Nigeria, then one after another, all over the globe. So I said if you can help forward, you can help us. So it has been amazing the whole process and that. And so to go back to your question, the book came out of my experience from book forward. This book setbacks turned setbacks in the greenbacks came out of my experience when I was struggling financially and learned from some mentors how to become more mindful of money and how to turn those setbacks in the greenbacks, an attitude of excellence came out of the work with ford.
And so Alan Mulally from ford wrote the foreword and then it only takes a minute change of life. Came out of my being able to do those jingle singer when I was a singer who became comfortable selling a product so powder, whatever was coca cola whatever in a minute singing it in a minute. And I said why don't I write a book of one minute messages and of course the marriage book, how my wife and I together 35 years, haven't had an argument in 33 years and the first couple of years were like World War three where we learned some principles from some wise mentors. The two ways, write this down folks, two ways to get to any goal mentors and mistakes. Both will get you there, wouldn't just get you there with less headaches and heartaches. Well I learned from mentors and my wife and I learned from mentors, stopped arguing, got to love and been married for 35 years and we put those principles in a book and now people are calling from all over and saying, Hey I read your book, my marriage was we want our way to divorce court. Now we're doing great. So uh the answer to your question all of these books, all of these messages are born out of my experiences, my message, I like to say it like this, my message is a result of my mess, the mess I've had in my life, the challenges that I had, the struggles I've had, the setbacks attempt many years ago, Oh I was in this whole self development thing and I said, I, I thought of reading books and going to seminars, I went to this seminar and the first guy got him, he talked about how great his life was, how great his family was, how greatest kids were, how much money he made, how his life was perfect and if you want a perfect life, like I got a perfect life, I can tell you how to do it and of course I'm taking notes because I want a perfect life, like he had a perfect life and I'm right nose.
The next guy comes up on this rally and talks about his struggles. He talked about how they had turned off his electricity and how his little kid, three little daughter said daddy, why the lights out? He said play hide and go seek. I gotta make a quick run and went down to the electric company and found someone who looked sympathetic and said, look, my lights just went off. I've got three little girls at home. I gotta check coming out. I'm, I'm, I'm working on a big project and the money should have been here by now, but it's not. I just need a few days. And the lady looked him and I said, okay. And she said your lights on. You got a week. He went back home and within a few days the money had come in now to this day, I remember that guy, his name is Dr Dennis Kimbrough. He wrote the book mm The Millionaire choice that he wrote the book, What makes the great great. Mm The first graph, I don't remember who he is because I couldn't relate to him.
I can relate to two lights turned off. I can relate to struggles. I can relate because that was my story. And so all of these books. Talk about the struggles. I wish I could tell you that I had it all together folks. I wish I could tell you all that I'm Aphrodite and scholarly and everything falls into place. I wish I could tell you that every word that I say is perfectly put together, that the Verbund now all work together. I'm working on that. I'm working on becoming a good speaker one day. Really, really, one day I'm gonna be good. I'm gonna really be good if I keep working. But here's the lesson. Here is the message back in the greek Senate. There were two speakers, dia phonies and Paraclete. Now, para claims was a great orator. He would get up and people with here is his words. They were always perfect. Everything every word was perfectly pronounced and articulated and everything was perfect. When he finished, people would stand on their feet and go bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo dia Anthony's though. He was like me a country board trying to put this stuff together, trying to get it together. Sometimes strip over my words.
But when he finished speaking, No one would jump to their feet and say Bravo. They jumped to their feet and say let's go to war. And that's what I want people to do. I want people to go to war on the, on the things that have stopped in their fears, the things that have kept them from being all they can be. I want them to go to war on the limitations that they've set for themselves or someone else. I want you to go to war. So I wish I had it all together? I'm working on it one day I'll be good. But in the meantime I want you to go to war mm and live with you were born to live, do what you were born to do be what you were born to be. That's what I want. I can't remember what any of my other questions are. I'm ready to go to war. I just can't remember. Anything else are Oh my gosh, that was, wow, that is, I'm like taken aback. That was really mesmerizing. Wow, so good. And so relatable.
Yeah, it's authentic. It's real. No one wants to hear about how somebody's life is perfect because we're all struggling no matter what we have, we're, we got some things that we finally figured out how to get together and then something else unravels and that's kind of how life is. And if you can have a sense of humor about it and continue to say, all right, well, what are we going to do with it? And what is the outcome that we want and how can we take one step towards it? Try to make it better. You know, that's really at the end of the day, what it's all about. That's what personal development is all about. I think so many people don't really understand what self help is and so they don't trust it or they think that you're just lying to yourself and and that's really not what it is. So do you have a couple of tips or ideas if somebody is struggling right now and they're not sure what to do? They maybe they've been on furloughed or lost part of their income or they're not sure what's going to happen next in the world. What are some tips for how to make that come back? Yeah. You know, you're absolutely right.
This is a very challenging time that we've all been impacted. And even Michelle Obama who had the biggest concert speaking tour in America last year filling up arenas and former first lady in kind of a number one selling best best selling book. And yeah, and even, and even she would say I'm suffering from low grade depression with all that she got going on. And so think about the people who've lost their jobs are wondering how they're going to pay the rent, who want to work for can't because the jobs have been, you know, not available or people who are going through a time where somebody might be struggling with with a illness. So here's what I lost somebody through the, whatever your setback is, I want to go back to a couple of things. One about your faith. Um my faith is powerfully powerful part of my life and that in the sense that I expect good to come from my actions.
So that means I gotta act, oh, faith without works is dead. And so you must act on your faith. You must pursue with faith and get up with the expectation that how do you do that in a time where you might be depressed? Well I'm encouraging people to do a couple of things. One you've got to get some routines. One of the things I encourage people to do is one every morning. Here's my routine. When my eyes opened up tim. When my eyes open up, I'm in the bed, I literally verbally say thank you, thank you. I got another one, I got another one, I got another one I don't take every day, I don't take a day for granted. So I wake up and say wow, thank you. Okay, okay, okay now now go to the bathroom and I come back and have a moment of prayer and thank God for life and strength. I asked him to bless me today and bless my family, put a hedge around him, keep her out of danger and then I take some physical activity tim something I gotta do something I've whether either take a walk, take a bike ride, do some kind of activity even if it's raining, install installment, I walk up and down the steps, get some physical activity because that releases endorphins into your bloodstream and you need those endorphins because they are like but in natural uppers they are natural positive pills that are inside of you but you gotta release somebody your activity and then I read or listen to something positive every day.
I listen to something positive every day now, thank God I'm not gonna say is gonna sound crazy, but I'm on radio across America on the radio one network every morning at 8 20 on get up mornings with Erica Campbell. I said a 20 I turned on the radio and listen to me talk to me okay, but let's say you're not in the market, you go to win with Willie dot com. If you just go to win with willie dot com, you'll be able to sign up because now since the pandemic in the last six months every day, not only do I have the daily radio on radio stations across America, but I got a video version of it that I send out on instagram on linkedin on facebook and on my newsletter. So if you go to win with Willie dot com, you get signed up and you get it sent to you and say one minute motivational message, it will inspire you, it will encourage you, it will uplift you. So now you got your you get the physical activity, you got some positive for your body, you got some for mental activity, you got some spiritual activity has had a word of prayer, thank God for the and then you got some mental acuity activity and then I go back and revisit my goals, why am I doing this?
What am I up for? Why am I here? And I said, okay, I got some goals, I want to make sure here's what I want to make sure. Someone asked me in an interview interview on a radio show, willie Jolley, what's your biggest goal? I didn't have to think about it, tim. I didn't have to think about it. I have to think about it. Not one minute I said my biggest goal, Oh, that's easy. I know that clear Isabel my biggest goal is that 100 years from now, 100 years from now. Some kid will walk into a room and see a picture of me and my wife and walk up to that picture and kiss it and say thank you, Great, great, great, great, great, great granddaddy, great, great, great, great, great, great grandmama for what you did back in 2020 2021 2022 23 to make it possible for us to have a business, a home opportunity to go to college, a legacy that you left. That's my biggest goal. Now, here's thank tim. I never see it, but that's my goal. And say scripture says, a good man leaves an inheritance for his Children's Children's grandchildren. That's my goal. So I reread my goals. What are my goals? How do I make it possible for that for that kid, 100 years from now to have a home. Okay, I gotta work, I gotta go to work, I gotta go to work because it's really not about me.
See, I read somewhere that the great ones. Plant trees that take 80 years to grow when they're 80 years old, okay, they'll never sit under that tree. But they they plan it at 80 years old. And so that's what I'm encouraging the viewers, the listeners to people who are on this, if you're gonna make a difference, don't think just today, don't even think tomorrow, think 100 years out what kind of impact you can have. Because it's important. It's important because many people don't know much about their grand, great, great grandparents. They know they were here, they might know their name, but I don't know much about them, I want to make sure that they know who I was, what I did and how I was thinking about them, I was loving on them 100 years earlier. So that's my goal, that's what I'm thinking. That's what I do every day. That's how I get going. I need to my goals on, come on, I will tell you what I'm gonna subscribe to that win with really right now and with really Dot com as soon as we're done, because I would love that.
I mean, oh my goodness. Well, when you go there, by the way, you get to see the song I put out to call, we'll get through this and people can see that during the pandemic. I just decided to do a music video, I've never done a music video before, tim but when I was in the music video was no such thing as the Internet, there was no such thing as the music videos. I was in the music business 35 years ago. So I did my first music video while the pandemic on my iphone and my ipad, that's what this was, the whole production, my whole music video, those two things and that's what that goes back to. Is those principles of being creative, being proactive, taking action before you're ready. Just go with what you got, go with the best you got and keep trying. So I'm excited about it. Oh, that is very exciting. I remember the last time you and I were in the same room together was in Indianapolis and it was a few years ago and he was with us as well. And and I remember you were teaching a group of speakers how to thrive in the business and then someone asked you if you would sing and I'm like, oh no, it was kind of audacious, but you know, you're kind of famous for singing and so, and you did, and after you were done every one of us in the room was like, well I hope we don't ever have to compete against this guy.
That's just ridiculous. That's too much talent. He's cheating, Bless your heart, thank you tim, It was so good. So, you know, you've been around the world, you have impacted so many people. I always like to ask these questions. What was one of the coolest experiences that you've had, man? Let me tell you one that really impacted me tremendously. I was in Japan second told Japan for the U. S. Marines. It was a high security time. So they were doing extra special, extra level security checking. I'm with a group of people. We're going through a security check onto the base, do this building, we're going to building and you've put your everybody put their passport through and a way to 30 seconds, 60 seconds. And the the okay, you're good. His past everybody. And then I get to me to get to me. I gave my passport, they push it through and I'm ready to go and they say, excuse me sir, we need you to stand to the side.
What? We need you to stand to the side. Why sir? Please, tends to side and out came these two security guards with guns and the helmets of hard helmets mps and he said, are you mr jolly yeah. William jolly well, that's on my passport. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We need to see you in the back. What did I do? What's wrong sir? We just need you to come with us to the back. Oh my so I go down a long corridor. I get to a run that has a sign on it, commandant. Commander of the base. Oh man. What's going on here? I'm you know, I'm fine. I walk in and a big leather chair was facing outside the window. It spins around and there's an african american guy kind of young But maybe in his 30s. Said sir, I was sitting here at my desk and I see the different people go by and I saw yours and he said, William jolly Washington D.
C. And I wonder, I wonder if that's Willie Jolley. Are you willing jolly? I said, yeah, I'm really charlie. My real name is William. But everybody called me William. I'm Willie are you? He said, are you Willie Jolley says from Washington D. C. Are you Willie Jolley from Washington D. C. Whose the motivational speaker? Yeah. Are you? Willie Jolley? The motivational speaker who came to Archbishop Carroll High School in 1993. No. And gave a speech to the young people there. Yes, I'm that Willie Jolley And you're probably the Willie Jolley from Washington D. C. The motivational speaker who came to Kashmir issue Carol 1993, who told a story About his two friends and how one made a decision Do you sell drugs? one made the decision to be being athlete and then go to college and how this one went to jail and this one became wealthy.
Yes. He said Sir. I was in that class that day. I was in 11th grade. I was in a gang. I was on drugs. I was doing bad stuff. I was from a single family, single parent household, I was messing up. And that message that they changed my life, he says sir, I never thought I'd be able to meet you. And I asked you to back here because I just wanted to take a moment to thank you from that day. I changed my life, went home to my mama, I was gonna change my life and I went back to school the next day, changed My grades came up for 11th grade year And in the 12th grade I got in the ROTC And by the end of the 12th grade I got a scholarship to west point and then I went to West Point and went to officers training school and now in the command of this base because of that one day and here's where it got really weird. Now it's weird already. He went and he went in his wallet, tim He pulled out a card that was plastic wrapped with the notes he had taken that day.
That was well that was one that will go down. It's remembered forever. Don't you ever? That is insane how impactful that is. I mean at that moment you've won. I mean everything else that you ever experience is just a bonus to have that kind of impact. That's correct. So I'm very grateful I'm grateful. You know town. I'm grateful to that guy who fired me in the nightclub, I'm so grateful grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful. I'm grateful for that fella. You know, I'm grateful for you. So wow, wow. So last question for you then. Although I could ask you questions forever because I love love, love your stories. So if you could go back with all the wisdom, you have all this experience that you have, if you could go back to when you were 10 and talk to 10 year old willy, what advice would you give him? Oh man, that's a great question, man.
That's a great question. 10 year old willy, I'd say willie listen to your mama. I really would. My dad. Do you believe my dad died when I was 13. So I will tell you of course we listen to you both your parents. But my mom, my mother, after my dad died, she really worked hard to put my brother and I went to college and she gave a sage advice. I didn't always listen to. And in retrospect, I should have listened to my mother ma. She was always my biggest champion. She was always my biggest supporter. So I would say listen to your mother. She's going to give you good advice. Follow her plan for your life. In my marriage book, we talk about marriage and the difference between Eastern marriage and and Western marriages and east indians. Their parents choose who they're going to marry versus Western marriages you choose. So you go to marry. Well, we got a 50% divorce rate in America vs in East India it's a 30% divorce rate.
Because they say that they start off cold and warm up over time versus us who start off hot and cool off over time now. Thank God my wife and I have not cooled off. We're still hot. I got the hot spot. But the majority of the people cool off. But here's the lesson to him. If the parents choose this because they know you better, then you know yourself now am I subscribing to that choosing? I know I'm not subscribing. I'm just choosing, I'm using that as a metaphor that my mother knew me and if I would listen to her, she would have given me wise counsel. She always supported me. She let me do my dream. But there were little things that she would tell me to do. Stay away from these type of people go, don't do that, don't don't hang with those types. So I listened to a lot of it. She was big on education. I went through college and then went on to my, I got my masters and she'd be very proud now because I seven years ago now I stopped speaking for a year. I shut it down and went back and got my doctorate and it was tough.
She would be so proud. But that was one of the things I told my 10 year old willing other thing I tell my 10 year old Willy is to really work hard in school and I did okay in school. But I didn't do as best I could have done. But they're a benefit for scholastic achievement. And last thing I think I tell 10 year old willy is never compromise your integrity. Now I think I've done that. But there were times in a 10 year old when I got spankings because I lied. I lied about this a lot. Never compromise your integrity. Just never do it. Because that's the one thing that will always pave the path for you, your excellence and your integrity. And so I learned it over years. But if I had known that then I might have been even better. So I'm very grateful. But that's a great question. Thank you for asking that that made me think about my parents and my mom and and the lesson she learned she taught me. Mm That's wonderful. So have you taken that advice and put it into your relationship with D.
Because it's amazing that you said that we haven't had an argument in like 33 years and had to today, You know, we as I said, mentors and mistakes when we were struggling. We went to see People have been married 40 50 and 60 years and said, what's the secret? And they would tell us these secrets that we put in the book 10 principles for creating a great marriage. And they gave us those principles and we just started employing them. We started embracing them. And that's what really the secret has been that we embrace what we learned. And then we put in the book what we learned. And people now and others are embracing it and are striving in their marriages. So you have the answer is yes. Didn't come from my mother per se. The only part of the whole marriage book I talk about my mother is what do you do when you don't know what to do? Okay. And my mother used to say, well, you don't know what to do, pray pray for wisdom, pray for wisdom.
And God will give you the answer if you pray. And so that's one of the things I've done over the years. But other than that, my mom never remarried after my dad died and she was always a virtuous woman and someone who always put us first. So hey, you know, I'm very grateful. D and I doing great. We got the money. Look, I want to invite people to monday night nine o'clock facebook live willie dot jolly happily married monday with the jollies every monday night at nine o'clock and now we're putting it on, I G as well. You follow me on I G you'll get it on I g instagram. So monday night, nine o'clock monday through friday. You get the one minute video sent to you if you go to win with willie dot com or you can listen on radio. My exam show comes on every Saturday at 4:00 PMclock on channel 1 41 1 41. It rears Tuesday at six p.m. On thursday at six p.m. To it rears twice and every week I have the best and the brightest thought leaders. But let's say you don't have X. M. No worry, no problem, no problem.
You can go to my podcast where we take the X. M. Show, put it right on the podcast on I heart radio C suite radio, Spotify stitcher tune in and apple podcast. Willie Jolley, wealth Ways podcast. Then on saturday morning it's a jolly good news report at 10 o'clock Eastern time on my jolly good news facebook page where I give you nothing but good news for a half hour. So in a time of bad news, sad news, depressing news. I'm gonna give you nothing but good news. So that's my message. That's what I do every week. We got stuff going out. We got marketing messages, We got everything we're doing as much as we can to help people through this tough time. Mm And there you go. We will have all those links in our show notes. Dr Willie Jolley, I got a last message for you. One last message for lay it on me. This is my new favorite piece that I've, I've been sharing with my radio audience to get them through this tough and we go through this tough time. There are two creatures you can choose which one you're gonna model.
There's an ostrich and as an eagle now the ostrich and the crisis moments of life and tough times sticks his head in the ground and it says wake me when it's over. The eagle, on the other hand, does something very odd, it takes flight and flies right into the face of the storm. It struggles, it fights, it pursues to get through that storm and then it gets above the storm and is able to see the panoramic view of the environment and it says wow right there, wow, that's a big problem right there right now, wow! But I'm looking at the road, there's good up the road, there's good up the road, you keep going, keep fighting, keep striving, There's good up the road, folks. Tim is bringing the best and the brightest to you because he wants you to know to keep moving. Be mesmerizing. Don't stop. Make a difference because it's good up the road. God bless you. They haven't smiled upon you, thank you for having me on.
It's been a privilege of pleasure to treat in a treasure and a joy beyond measure. Hey, would you like more free tips on how to be a mesmerizing leader then check out mesmerizing leadership dot com and also hang out with me on facebook facebook dot com forward slash tim. Sure, thanks so much and make your day a sure success.