mm mm Hello. Good evening from Lagos Nigeria. You are welcome to another exciting episode of intimate. Mm My name is blessing her That records in life with me is blessing Afolabi Together we are going to be your host tonight lessons. Say hi to everyone. Good evening everyone. Thank you for having me on the show. Once again, I'm excited to be here. Uh Oh, you're welcome. You're so welcome. Now, if you don't know blessing, how can I help? Okay, this is episode nine of intimated blessing. Now, that's the only way I can help you. So tonight is very special because we'll be asking ourselves questions and answer. We need ourselves. Now we have one minute to answer each questions.
Let's go to the business of the day. So tonight's discussion is african parents and discipline. So I'll ask the question 1st. Then let's say we go second. Let's go. All right. So baby tell us how was growing up like in an african home? That's a big question. A very big question, your device that we will not renew this podcast today. But then it was strongly a disciplinarian set strong one. It was a typical No african who he was standing a lot of rules to abide by man. You went up in an African home, I would say it was amazing. It was interesting, wonderful. And it was good. It was good. Um dystrophy here. So I don't compute my home in it. So over to you. Powers growing up in an african home. Like, was it sweet?
Was it, you know, vita or they're interested? Uh Word of the African home was quite interesting and adventurers and it was filled with rules like don't do this, you don't have to do this, your girl shouldn't do this and that and so forth. So, it was quite interesting and I'm the only girl, you know, with two Children's parents born like all eyes on you. The huge level it's I, so that's how great it was like no freedom. Just do as you have said that we've been talking to do. So it's your turn to ask a question. Yeah. Okay. We look perfectly because I'm also the only job so I can imagine well over to the next question in your opinion, would you say the parents were strict with apparent things that are you say they were building the in? Yeah. Mm I will start with this brace. I did not disgrace my parents. So you will not disgrace me.
Uh straight straight. The strict level was stop notch like really talking about and you know when you go out to your parents, especially with my mom in blessed memory man, she literally communicates with her eyes like we don't talk like she looks at you and oh Lord you know exactly what she's telling you about. Are you general Miss B. Or you're done for? So yeah so you're a street mm They were mostly strict. Yeah very strict. So over to you the parents really strict on you while growing up my sister if there's any word mother strict uh that's all she gives to them. Anyone that can be used to qualify that strict thing that's all she gives them the way strict, very strict you know but the fact that you're the only girl there's no room for me is believing not like you want to go and see a friend that wasn't there then if you just came at the gate everybody has two main things that they watch tv before you're watching tv.
Everybody puts off the tv arranged below if you drop your your bad somewhere or you just had that. I didn't split second as I knew that African Children we have the power of flash in a split second we're done. Uh Everybody don't inspire um you already reading book or bible if not good anti inside you watching tv by what time we go yo your assignments have you read your book? Uh You don't even want to start. So strict was among the statement. They were very strict at the point. I was asking myself by the superb experience because you know there was this big there they can go out with me if I want to go. Oh just you want to become a boy. You want to drink the boy? I don't know I don't need to hear the statement again. I'll just spend by the way is that I didn't contact you know is particularly attached to african parents.
They are good at that. So I would say they were strict, very strict. So the next question is going to be from okay, okay, so tell us are in support and how they always do. Did you really like it? How you were me? Well not totally in support. Not totally in support because no fine. I was in support of the fact that they were able to instill good values in me. You know, you brought up a good confident lady so as a support of that. But then the fact that you know there was no this there was no cordial relationship, you know, easily expressing yourself to your parents. That avenue was not there when we were growing up and then the fact that they try to force a particular coach or not, they wanted you to follow this pattern. We and there was Children for you to ask questions and negotiate. Yeah. You want to do what I think, what you should do. They don't want to I don't care if you understand or you don't understand or you want to just do as we say.
So that part I was in support of that because me, I would like to create that room for my kids around in support of that. But then to a large extent, I would say, uh, the princes. That wasn't bad because we came out there. So over to you A you were in support or you are inter port of um, your current experiences that you are you are you okay? We did perfect 100%. Or you leave some out. Okay. Um, you know when you hear that is coming, literally you just arrange yourself like I don't care what you're doing. Just arrange yourself because it becomes and find you doing contrary to what he said you should be doing and there's going to be a problem. I would say partial support. Not fooling. I like the fact that at the end of the day, I mean look at us, we're good there. Beautiful.
We have sent, you know, give it up for the african parents, but I didn't, I didn't really like the fact that you know, it was just at the mention of the name, like you just have to travel like you have to forget and you know, like, nah, I think I want my Children to be very close to me and to see me as their best friends first. Yeah. My house back. Not a two people raising Children in the future. Okay. So No, no way. So it's your turn to ask a question. Okay, so do you intend to use this exact style your parents used for your kids? Like the exact that your parents used to raise you? Would you like to invite it also in training your kids? No, no, no, never. No way. No way.
Like I ain't doing that. No. My kids have to love me. You know, they have to be 100% safe with me. Okay. So no way. No, I don't intend to do that or I will make sure that and they are absent. Yeah, there are good both in the house and outside, you know, I'll make sure that instilled good values in dumbo. That's why we say mommy's criminal and bus boards. You arrange it. No, no, no, I don't intend to. So what about you? Do you intend to it? You know, it's the same way too. I said remember a week, I don't know what to say. Um I can imagine. See that's, you know, that fear, that here fool. Um what's the word? What's the word? I can't get that one right now. You know that fearful aura that our parents carries a great, very great one. You wouldn't there you even if you're doing any outside Tacoma to like this to go where you come home, go maintain.
So for me, I intend to use the eggs astor for my kids to yes, I don't want them to be scared of me. I want them. Um, I want them to know close to me, able to communicate with uh, they want to me. So I wouldn't use the exact and my parents that some in some way, yes, they did. You know, they did go and I would implement that what the other partners have been. No, I wouldn't use that. So you're asking the next question. Okay, so after all being said and done to your parents or do African parents do they deserve a medal after all? Yes. So they deserve and like they deserve more than a medal, They did a good Mhm mm. That does not look at me. They did a great job, you know, bringing up a strong confident to man.
Hello? Okay. Uh okay, so it seems I lost you guys allowing. Yeah, so I was saying that they deserve more than it made out because they did a great job, you know, bringing up a strong confident bleeding and the fact that they were able to do it flexible enough as we're growing up. You know, they were able to address their parenting style, try to get closer to us and who was going on with our life and then understand those better and they were able to negotiate with them at a.2 out there they deserve the understanding innovation. Let's give it to them. So over to you. Do you think your parents deserve medal? I don't think there's a medal called more than go to Madame. Yeah, yeah. Give it to them. So I would say give it up to african turbans.
Like at the end of the day, at the end of the day, you did a fine job. They did a smooth fine job again look at us BB, I mean look it up. We have sent We are beauty, We're fearless. We have confidence at the end of the day. Of course, exactly. Moved out. Yeah, you're tunney. So yeah, my turn to ask the question. So this will be the final question. Um, we'd all been john, what is the way forward? That's for we the upcoming no parent african parents. Those are already, there's the generation african parents. What is the way forward for us? What do you think you should? Okay and different. Um, the way forward is as a person, as a parent, you need to hear from whatever is doing you because there's very, there's a very high tendency that you're going to raise your kids the way your parents raised you too.
Because I know my mom told me similar stories on how am Reza. Like she always felt like you're going to enjoy it and see what my mom did and all that. So first of all, we have to deal with whatever, you know, what is going on with us for. So we don't transfer that transgression, the hatred and sadness to our kit. Okay. And another thing I would like to put out here is we should make our home is safe place for our Children. You know, even if the whole world dispatched patching them, let them know that they're coming home to a safe place. That mommy loves me to the movies. Yeah, regardless. And again in every home, in every home the thief came up from it, A prostitute came out from the pastor came up from everything starts with the family circle. So once we can take control of our family meter circle, then I think the world would be a better place for all the world.
That's my advice help Uber to you wants to leave for what what what do you have for that? D Generational. Yeah. Really I've learned a lot from what you just said. Really healing up from you know the past like because most times we tend to transfer a question whatever we've gotten, tend to transfer it over. So it's very important for me. I would say we should be deliberate this generation. We should deliberate traditional about parenting because whatever you don't teach your Children whatever you don't tell them the world is out there to tell them social media is out there to tell them, you know, a lot of out there to teach them in wrong way. So please let us be deliberate about parents. And as you said, every single person comes from a home. So if we don't start dealing with it from the home, that's what society is. But today, So if the home is good, do miss functioning well, then society will be perfect.
And then Corona has taught us that home should be in the best place to be. Really, as you said, he should, if the world is fighting against them, the home should welcome them with open arms of law. So we should be delivered in generation. If you need to read books, you need to attend seminars. You know, please do people who have traded that part for you know, they can help you out and then also should be a good room with Yeah, you want your Children to be, did you want them to think that we want them to ask the particular um situation please Youtube do the same other. Let them, you know, Children learn mostly from taking others so what they see you do, what they say is exactly what they would be doing. So we should learn to good room with their whatever. I want our Children to do the same and then we should learn to communicate more with Children. You know what that opportunity we didn't get my parents felt were growing up. We should create time for the indicate more. There will be open to negotiate with them, explained.
Let them understand the reason behind the part where trading, you know what we are trying to instill in them. You don't understand, I wish you reflect, but also with our parenting style because at every stage of life Children are growing and things are changing was evolving the way you, you know, you would train a two year old or a baby. It's not the same way you treat a teenager, it's not the same way you treat a youth one university. So you have to learn flexible, you know, adjust your parenting style at each stage. So go online, you'll get books, read a lot of materials out there that can help you. It's very, very important. And we should be saying, yes, it's good to be disciplined experience, don't be the carefree and I just, whatever they do, they should, you know, it's good to instill values, right values, you know, be disciplined and fully into the letter. You know, if you say you are not doing this, that would be that that's your stand, Not today. That I say, I know it's not good to lie. Tomorrow is another thing you're saying. You use yourself as a parent follows you to what you're doing the discipline, your regular, Let them see it reflected in you.
So did them. So be confident enough to trade that Pat, thank you very much, very insightful. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Since we are both hosting the show, you against you to us, you have not too close, you're gonna close the cutting for us. Okay, over to you first. Thank you all for listen, listen to my friend, close the show. Have good friends and get back baby ankle wrap. Uh, I'm so hard to like my my evil post telling me to close up the show. So thank you for having me on the show once again and thank you a wonderful audience. Thank you for listening. And I hope you were able to grab something because even as I was talking and we're conversing, no, I was able to spend some things down. So I believe you were blessed and you, we're able to pick something out of this podcast. So please do join us same time on intimate talk with blessing next week.
Sunday. Do we really know that hot? Just so please, We're ready. Thank you so much. Let's let's invite together. I yeah, no.