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Coaches Corner: Adrian gives examples of how he sets himself up to get the most out of every day

by Shaun Kober
January 21st 2021

I've had so many great conversations with friends and colleagues about what we see happening in the fitness industry, and thought to myself, "I wish we would have recorded that."

what does it mean to live life to the fullest train to your potential and perform at your best, leave nothing on the table. That's a non negotiable is that I I strive to be better every day because if I'm not on top of my game, how is anybody else gonna follow me down the road? Keep demanding more of yourself to, to live up to that potential and to stay hungry. Training is progress. You know, when I look at the word training, I think of steps, baby steps to get somewhere that you want to be and that is basically your life journey. That's a mindset itself, man, it's like, it's not just about, I know that for you, a lot of that's about the physical, but we're constantly in training, whether it's growing our skill sets, whether it's growing our physical bodies, whether it's growing our relationships, whatever and all of that is a training ground and that kind of goes back to the mindset that we just talked about, You underestimate yourself and you don't even start, but then once you start, you often surpass what you thought you could do performance your best mate. That's that's sort of what life is all about. You don't have the knowledge and have the fitness to healthy ambition and drive that no matter what comes along.

When that next phone call comes, I can just say yes, I don't have to worry, just go and do it. Hey guys, welcome to this coach is gonna episode with my man Adrian, Alan, this was a roughly 90 minute conversation that have split up into three installments. Part one was all about his journey into the fitness industry and becoming a coach and then from transitioning from Thailand through bali back to Australia, the second episode was diving a little bit deeper in some of the lessons that he's learned during that transition, where he changed locations, change demographics and how he had to change his coaching stole. And in this third episode he gives a lot of examples on um what that transition look like and how he's implemented all of these tools that we speak about in the first two episodes into his life. Currently let's get this episode underway, values were never anything from a couple years ago that I would have had even the tools to know about this, but true, doing the 10 day marshall, of course it came up, we were told about the values, I let it skip, I heard it again, I let it skip and then one day a girl asked me what my values and I was like I was giving her like this idea in my head and she was like you haven't written down and I was like, I don't want it.

So I went away and I was actually john d martinis, one has a free find your values and its in depth and yeah, so I did that again and you know, again you have to do the work, you answer the questions, the awkward difficult questions and you know, even if you had three values and you you lived with those values and you know, and it's yeah, you can you live by those well did everything else around, it will flourish for you. And it was something that I like, it was only through this year and I've had the chance to do this kind of work that I would never have had those tell you the truth, you know? So it's never too late for people don't think just because we're talking about it, that we've been doing it for years, you know, you're you're not missing out what, you're just being given a chance to do it now, you know? So what's here is is is that like, you know, it's never too late, just write it down and yeah, that goes for a lot of things really, you know, it's never too late to start, 100% man. Um you know how many people can sit in a room alone in silence and that's what it takes, bro, that's what it takes man, you need to be comfortable in your own fucking head and we live in this society where we're constantly distracted, you know, and until you are able to sit in silence and not reach for your phone or not have music playing or not have a podcast going or you know, have these external fucking distractions that is drawing your attention like until you're able to do that or willing to do that, like nothing's going to fucking change in your life and having those values is extremely important, so powerful man, because when you know what your values are, then every fucking decision that you make is going to be in line with those values.

You say yes to the things that fit with your values and you say no to the fucking things that don't fit with your values and that just makes and that you know it takes that takes hard decisions, but when you make hard decisions it makes your life easy. When you make easy decisions that makes your life hard. Oh yeah, and like this was the one thing that say, well just on the values thing there again is like being a people pleaser for instance, a friend of mine rang me the last day and he was like, you want to go to this event, that's on thursday night, me and the boys are going and straight away, I said yes again. The next 20 minutes later I was like that's that's a drinking session, it's on the middle of the week and it's gonna set me up for failure. And I was like you're not living to your values of like showing up every day, like I said it would know what to start to the year for myself and for others, and I rang him back 20 minutes later was like look I'm not going to go to that, I'm sorry, you know, and it's as if you avoid your friends over everything. But if it's not going to line it's it's a hard thing to do to tell your friends, you're not going to go to an event that they want to. But I'm getting good at saying no, no, that's the truth.

And stop being a people pleaser and that's what a lot of people need to do as well to stop trying to live other people's values because that's exactly what it is. Everyone has different values. You want to align with yours. Yes, there needs to be a middle way if you have a partner, if the two of you have different values, you need to find that middle that middle section where it keeps you happy. But I think yeah, something so simple and understanding your values will will take you a long way. Mm Let's dive into that a little bit deeper man. Because I think this is a very intriguing conversation um how has your life changed since you actually wrote down your values? You sat down with yourself and you had a look in the fucking mirror and you said what what are the values that I want to live by? How's your life changed? Yeah, it definitely has improved it, you know and there is a lot more work to do. But like I said, yeah, you get this written down and then you see you see what it is that you're doing and like like we said, we keep getting those same messages and the more you live by the values? Like we said, it will be, you know, it is all new to me as well.

So like, you know when people say, oh these guys have been doing it forever, We haven't, we're just still trying to figure it out what works. And you know, we do have the difficult conversations with people when when our values aren't being aligned and it is difficult to say no, but I know what's not making me happy, you know, at the last year has the last nine months have taught me what it is that makes me happy. And if something doesn't make you happy, you shouldn't be doing it. You know, for yourself that is And like I said, when it comes to relationships, there has to be a middle ground. Obviously I'm fortunate if I am single. You know what I mean? I haven't had much relationship experience. I put it that way, I've had a small but I've touched on it a small bit. But like Yeah it is. But it's it's just great to to hear when you do hear other people speak about relationships and you listen to them, You know, because they are they've been through it already mm, let's tie back into what we're talking about with the vision board and creating those routines and habits around that. So you touched on your morning routine, can you give some examples of what your morning routine looks like and, and potentially how, you know, how it's changed over time?

Yeah, well how it has changed over time as there was never a routine in the first place, it was always the case. I would get up out of bed and I would go straight to work. You know, I would never do, I would never do anything for myself. Tell you the truth. Like I thought going to do the job I loved was me doing something for myself. But since I've come here, no, like you hear the analogy of filling your own cup up or fill your own cup before you can fill other people's and that, that has honestly stuck with me because there has been times in the last year, plenty of times really where I just haven't felt myself, my happy bubble itself and I'm like, what is wrong? And again, that's me not living by my values and being done at the bottom of that peak. So what I realized was that okay, I need to do stuff for myself before I do anything in the morning. So Getting up that a little bit earlier, you know what I mean? You have to get up that little bit earlier. I'll drink, I'll have a 500 mil bottle of water beside the bed. I'll drink that first thing in the morning because like all good engines, you know, need, I'll, you know, your, your car needs to be your, well Tesla's might have a different story they might use.

But uh, yeah from before. Like, you know, you just like drinking water first thing in the morning because you know, we've spent eight hours in bed. We are dehydrated, have that bottle of water first thing in the morning. Then I'll do my journaling, journaling in the morning is very quick. It's just, what, what do I need to do? What, what will I do today? That would bring me happiness. That's one thing. Did my tree priorities and treating, I'm grateful for. So again, the treating, I'm grateful and then our, the priorities we touched on treating, I'm grateful for a simple, like I'm grateful to have in a bed like a bed to sleep and I'm grateful for having a toothbrush. Should I can brush my teeth like again, it's just becoming grateful for the simple things that we, we take for granted. So that's another thing. And then then I might just drop down any thoughts or ideas that I kind of have in my head that I need to get out of my head and then I use inside timer. I got inside time. I actually paid for it this year because I had done, I felt I had done enough the last year to be like, okay, I can be a little bit more serious now. I understand the value of it because before, if I had bought it last year, just be another subscription that I need to pay for.

You know, and I'm not make use of it. So inside timer they do, they have 600 courses. I'm on a 30 day mourning mindfulness challenge at the moment, which is great. So every day, you know, 10 minutes and you know, it's only 10 or 12 minutes. So it's kind of like, it's not setting yourself up for failure To keep you accountable, right? Because you said you're like a 30 day streak or something. Yeah, exactly. You know, so you want to, you want to keep it alive and it's just a good way of doing it. And then yeah, the journaling and then basically I'm very fortunate we have a group here called the Human Excellence Project, which I tried to get down to every morning that's at six a.m. I was down there this morning, we're a group of people that meet up uh down in this place called Hillary's, we go swimming, jumping in tomorrow. Now the water is very warm and warm. And so the challenge is only trying to get up out of bed, tell you the truth. Uh they do great work and meditation on monday and Wednesday and in the weekends it's like very family orientated. We had like floating down the river, we do things together, we're in a group and like it's a group of people outside of the gym where everyone is different and it's great just to go there, have a hug hug each other and then have jumping to see and have a coffee and have a chest be there to maybe eight o'clock.

I'd be there longer if I could some people head off to work and it's great to see those people that are working full time jobs being there for themselves before they go and do anything else, you know, because they do have jobs and yeah, that kind of basically sets me up for the morning not having the phone in the room, don't shake anything. I'm very fortunate, I don't really have to answer to anyone at the moment, so I don't look at my phone until after 10 o'clock, which is great. Um so yeah, the inside timer is joining that gets turned on and then everything else, the apps are off, the wifi can be off, but the inside time is joining, I leave on. Uh so that when I do bring the phone in that that's it, like and uh yeah, you know, have your breakfast, eat well, and then that just sets you up for the rest of the day basically Dude, what an awesome way to start your day man. And that's something I talk about a lot. Um I post on social media, I've spoken about this numerous times on the podcast is, you know, so many people um their alarm is or their phone is their alarm and that's sitting right next to their fucking head charging. Um and you know, their alarm goes off in the morning, they reach over, they turned the alarm off.

They or they snooze snooze, snooze snooze. I'm like, I've never understood that and just get the fuck out of bed. Um but you know, and then they, they scroll through social media, they answer emails and it's like you're literally starting your day being reactive to other people shit rather than being proactive and like you said, filling your own cup. Yeah, and this is like opening your phone first thing in the morning is like letting 10,000 people into your bedroom before you even had a chance to think. And when I heard when I first heard that I was like, imagine open your door and you have 10,000 people, like 10,000 people, You might not like, trust me if you look if you get one person into my bedroom. But like, yeah, it's like having 10,000 people in your room where you haven't even walking up yet, Like, oh my God, So like, yeah, I have. I'm probably, I'm not joking or float my own board here, but like, about 60 days of having no phone in that bedroom. And like you said the alarm clock, my sister had an alarm clock in her room. She wasn't using this. I was like, give me that alarm clock and it's set for the same time every day. So there's no playing with us, There's no this news button like you're up and you're done like Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What a great, great way to start the day man. What about like a nightly routine? Do you have a routine that prepares you for bed as well? Yeah. Well I suppose my nighttime routine, it is not as good as my morning routine, which it could be better, you know, So I tried to turn my phone off at eight o'clock because I'm, I try to be in bed, try to be in bed for 10 o'clock. So it gives me turn off the phone, whatever I have to do if I'm watching television for an hour or something, I might do that. But I always try to call one person in the evening time. So again we're in part time. I'm eight hours ahead of Ireland so if I make a phone call at eight o'clock at night time it gives me, it's 12 o'clock in the day at home. So I always try to make one phone call home to family or friends. That's something I've really become a lot better at doing as well daniel having the phone off, leave the phone and charge not in the bedroom, make sure that everything that you have, the journaling in the evening time PM for my PM promises like what work today want my tree winds tree winds whose I called because the call is a big one and then what did I learn or what was, there's another section in that and it's like, what, what was today's magic moment?

So every day is filled with magic moments and it's just good to remember like for every day you might feel like you've had a bad day but there is, there is one part of that day that would have been good, you might have got something done again. You don't have to knead. It doesn't have to be life changing. It just needs to be something that fills you with like, okay, I had, there was a magic moment in today and they are everywhere. Mm Yeah, 100% man. Like you will find whatever you're looking for and if you're looking for shit in your life, you're gonna find shit. And I think it's important for people to um look for positives in fucking everything. And I did a 30 minute podcast on reflect to project um where I basically reflected on my 2020 and I, you know, I had some people in my life die and um, some other, you know, unfortunate circumstances that that happened throughout the year. Um but you know, I talk a positive out of every one of those and I had to fucking look for them. I didn't just, you know, those things didn't make me feel great, but I had to go and find something that I was like, all right, well that's really shit, but you know, there's got to be a lesson in this somewhere, you know, what can I extract from that?

And I think that's really important and doing that every day. Um I think that's really fucking powerful man. Um the stoic philosophers talk about um you know, people, people aren't affected by the events of certain circumstances, they are affected by their reaction to those events and not knowing how to deal with those things. And you know what you just said about um reflecting on the day and looking for things to be grateful for. I think that's really fucking powerful man. Is there anything you want to add to that? Or can you talk about, like, your experience adding that into your life and how that affected your mindset 100%. Um like, and it is the reflecting, like reflecting on these things and for instance, say I gotta speed and find a couple of weeks ago and what do 99% of people do when they get the speed and finally, you get, you get it in the mail, it goes on the fridge for like, affected month until the last day that you have to pay for it. And I'm like, you just have to tell yourself that you were speeding, you shouldn't have been speeding, you pay the fine because it might actually be a lesson to you that, you know, you could save yourself or someone else's life, you know, and that is the truth and like as bad as it is to pay a $200 fine here in Australia compared to 10 €10 for not wearing your helmet and island maybe, you know what I mean?

It's like, yeah, you do have to take the positives from that and like I've seen as um, like I've just seen people lose their absolute shit and we're all guilty of it, you know, where we absolutely freak out over a certain situation that happens in our lives are happens to us. And it could be something so small and you know, it's how you react to those things. But if you, if you just take a deep breath and relax kind of processes for a second or two, hopefully that we can you down because overreacting to something, whether whatever the situation is, you know, it's not, probably isn't going to turn out the way you want it to turn out and probably just going to lead to a bigger argument with someone or whatever the case may be. So just taking a step back, understanding why this is happening to you, you know, because things happen to everyone is and it is how we react to those situations. And yeah, it's, it's hard to do, but again, it will stand to you once you do take a step back and if it comes to the case, if you come back at night time and you write about it and something that happened during the day, you probably see that, like maybe it could have been your fault is why that situation had happened in the first place, and you kind of have to sit back and go, oh shit, I'm sorry, and like it does, it happens, like I say to myself here, to give you perspective on it.

Like me and my sister living together, we're the same age and at times over the year, it's been very difficult and I realized after a couple of a lot of arguments that maybe I just wasn't a good active listener, I wasn't actually listening to what she was trying to say to me sometimes, and that was pissing her off, and I always thought that she was the one that would be that had the problem when it was actually a fact that I wasn't listening to her when she was probably trying to say something told me or make conversation. And once I realized that, like I was based as you would be like shit, what an arsehole I am. But like, you know, it's like we all you have to learn from these lessons and you know, actively listening to someone when they're speaking to you has been a big help to me over over the year and I will hopefully continue to be a better listener, whether it's family or friends, whatever the case may be mm that's a great point, man, and this is something that I'm realizing the more I'm doing this podcast and I'm doing this podcast for selfish reasons. Like I'm not monetizing, I'm not selling anything. You know, it costs me fucking you know, A couple of $1,000 to get this podcast up and running up and running and you know, it takes me hours and hours every week to record it and upload, et cetera.

But what it does for me is it allows me to grow and I get to speak to people like you and, you know, it forces me to listen because I want to fucking understand what you're saying. So then we can dive into, you know, um, you know, extract lessons from certain things and things like that. And, you know, there's a difference between hearing something and actually listening. Yeah. And that that goes for I suppose well, when we think about multitasking, you're like, oh, I want to listen to an audiobook. A lot of people will say, oh, I listen to an audiobook because it's a lot easier than reading a book. But the truth is you listen to your audiobook while you walk down the road and there's cars coming past you and there's distractions. There's people you're saying hello and like Truthfully as much as I love audio books, that has made me realize that I can't be doing this two things at once. If I want to read, I need to be sitting in my bedroom with my book. You know, and that's probably one thing I do before bed is read as well because even if it's just five pages I will read us and I will take, you know, I'm not having the phone in the room. So that's that distraction gone. But definitely like for me and you know what you're saying about podcasting, you're you're a host of a podcast.

You have to actively listen to what the other person is saying or is the communication will be lost and that goes both ways. And that's something I have learned as well. Certainly when I have more of a conversation with people is that, you know, you do become a better listener. Mm And that ties into becoming a good coach as well. Like it's all about communication, but communication is not just speaking. It's not just telling, it's about listening as well and going all right, what is this person telling me? Because what people say and what they actually mean might be two different things and kind of going way way back to what we're talking about earlier with um you know, as you get more and more clients and you figure out that, you know, different people need different things like this is one of the reasons why did my NLP um practitioner course, my neuro linguistic programming was because you know, I would get these clients come in and they would tell me one thing and then I take them on that journey, I'd structure a training program, I would give them nutrition plan, I'd start taking them down that path and then I soon realized that you know what they were saying and what they actually meant weren't quite the same thing.

So I had to educate myself on, you know, these other modalities that was actually going to help make me a better coach as well. Is there anything like that in your coaching journey that you've noticed? Um, you know, working with people and then realizing that there might have been a gap somewhere that you needed to fill? Yeah, well certainly I feel, you know, as well as my journey that over, especially with, since we've got into the whole situation with the last year that this is definitely my time where I felt most growth, you know what I mean? That's like as I said the money in this last four or five years, but definitely with people me, I feel that I'm in a place now that I'm, I would be a better coach through what I have learned as well and you know, that's where I hope that I can pass this on to people in a lot better sense over the next couple of years and that's the road I feel that I am going down, but definitely doing the work that we've been doing, puts me in a better place, that I feel a lot more comfortable to share this passion and exactly why, you know, you've seen this on instagram the last year, I felt like I'm leaning into this discomfort, like it's not easy for me to talk about certain such things, but I believe now there's so much value in them that you're, you're, you're kind of like you're doing yourself here, but if you don't do this and you don't let people know about what you're doing, then you're doing a disservice to the world basically because someone out there is listening to what we say, you know, and that's definitely being the number one thing I will take away is that I want to add the add value to people's lives before it was always about the training, always about the nutrition and you know, I was comfortable to talk about, that is comfortable to give people workouts, but to show them how much this work will do for them now is definitely what I'm looking forward to the most to to get this out to other people and you know, by you sharing this podcast.

Again, like, you know what more people will hear us and hopefully more people will benefit. So again, it's all about, you gotta help yourself before you can help everyone else, so that's hopefully what is happening at the moment, man, this is why I started this, this coach's corner segment, right, was because I have these fucking amazing conversations with dudes like yourself that with friends and colleagues in the industry and they're always fucking great conversations and everyone thinks that they're special. Everyone thinks that they're you know different to everyone else, but ultimately everyone goes through the fucking same stuff, including us, you know, the difference is we've educated ourselves on certain aspects of, you know, improving health and fitness, and health is not just how you look, you know? It is everything, it is, it is, you know, your mindset, it is your health, it is your um just the way that you fucking live your life man, there's so many aspects of that, I want to start winding up the episode, makes them wary of your time and I have held you a little bit longer than anticipated, so sorry about that bro, do you need to run?

No, I'm good, I'm good, I'm easy Yeah, Alright, a couple a couple of minutes, make a couple of minutes so I want you to um can you reflect on 2020 and talk about some of the lessons that you took away from that year and what you're looking to move towards in 2021 Yes, so the lessons learned from 2020 was that giving your chance, giving myself that chance to slow down. Like I knew I was running around in circles what run around the circles is one thing but I was, I was doing what I loved, like and I still am doing when I loved, but to be able to come back to part, take, take a seat chill out to kind of get my head together again and see the vision that I want to portray for the future, you know, like for instance, I would have been working in two or three gyms at a time in bali, I was doing it here at the start, I'm like, no, you've already been given that lesson and like I have certainly learned from that Yeah, going towards the future, I suppose it is from our, sorry, the lessons learned from 2021 has definitely been just slow down.

Everyone just needs to slow down without pushing it on people. It's a case of yeah, that's, it is a hard time for everyone, like we're all experiencing a hard time um we all want to help everyone to help one another and you know, maybe you're sitting at home and you feel that, you know, you don't have to be a coach to help someone, like it's something as simple as a phone call to your friend can really help people out and you know, we us as coaches, like, yes, we, we've just happened to go down the road of the health and fitness and like we're very lucky, like we feel that it's, it's a massive part of people's lives, you know, it certainly is a massive part of my life and a lot of people are a lot more health conscious and you know, want to learn from other people and the truth is, you know, if these people sitting at home, I feel like there's too much work to do, there is a lot of work to do, but just go easy on yourself, you know, it's never too late to start whatever it is, if they are in a job over the last couple of months looking enough to still have a job, maybe, maybe they had a job and it's now being taken from them and they can actually go and do something else that they really want to do because whoever's listening to this podcast wants to move forward, that's for sure, you know, and again, it's a case of yeah, okay, I have a passion working in an office isn't my passion, maybe I need to do that for a certain amount of time to make money so that I can go and live my passion, you can be doing a little passion project on the side, you could be doing a little weekend course, you know, and it's very hard to commit to these things that the statue like, oh I never, I don't have the time, but if it means a lot to you, you'll make the time and you do the work and you know, a year from now or two years from now, you'll be doing exactly what it is you want to do, if you, if you go do it, No, so like don't be afraid to start never too late.

And uh yeah, you know, ask the questions, don't be afraid to reach out to people, don't ever be afraid to ask for help. And like there's been plenty of times this year where I've needed help and I've, I've got an ass and it's hard and like I'm very fortunate to know people that can kind of guide you in that way. And uh yeah, you know, if I can ever help anyone or if you can help everyone, all they have to do is like give a shout out and yeah, you know, you have an answer for him, Hopefully man, brilliant answer, thank you very much. Um, to round out the episode, what does it mean to live life to the fullest, trained to your potential and perform at your best as well as to live to live with my potential is to just show up every day for myself and then to show up for others. That's one big thing that I'm, I was guilty of the last couple of years. There's days, I just didn't show up for myself and I again, I was given that lesson and I kept coming back up. It's like, you're not showing up today, you haven't shut up for a week and that's something I wanted to get better at and for anyone out there, that's like, you know, once they get back into the gym I've seen this recently and it's just stuck on me, it's like 66 words to describe fitness and it's like structure your strength, vary your conditioning and you know, if you just get a 12 week plan and you stick with your, your strength, your strength is, you know, I mean maybe it's only three days a week and then you vary your condition, it can be anaerobic, aerobic walking, running, whatever it is you enjoy doing, do what it is you enjoy doing and you know, don't complicate it, please, we've been doing it for years.

That is awesome, structural strength and vary your conditioning. Where did you get that from? No, I just thought I seen us on someone's instagram and then I tried, I couldn't find this, but when I hashtag the structure, strength no else and shows up, so he maybe has something to do with this. But yeah, when I seen that I was like right, like so simple, you know, and I'm going to steal that, but I need to credit someone, you're credited me. Uh yeah, yeah, it's brilliant, yeah, awesome. They, I appreciate your time man, where can people find you nice and simple a doe allen on instagram and then if you need to email me or whatever the case may be Adrian Alan coaching at gmail dot com and you have a lot of time spent on instagram. Too much time spent on instagram trying to curve ball that, trying to work on that. but uh yeah, if you ever have any questions please reach out plenty of time I can ask, ask or answer any of your questions that's no problem whatsoever love it may I really appreciate your time bro, I'll have all of those links in the show notes eight Oh thank you very much for coming on the show, may really appreciate it, Let's do this again soon, absolute pleasure sean, thank you very much Legend and that rounds out this 90 minute conversation with Adrian Alan.

Uh I really appreciate Adrian's time, I met a couple of years ago in Thailand when I was coaching at Tiger and he was coaching at unit 27 they were actually uh in competition with each other but it's been really cool to watch his evolution as a coach over the last couple of years, watch him grow um and maintain that relationship and communication. So uh if you listen and may I really appreciate your time brother. Um anyone who did enjoy this conversation and thinks that their friends and family can benefit from it, please make sure you send them the link for all of these episodes and if you enjoy the live transform podcast, please make sure you leave me a five star rating and review much. Love guys piece

Coaches Corner: Adrian gives examples of how he sets himself up to get the most out of every day
Coaches Corner: Adrian gives examples of how he sets himself up to get the most out of every day
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