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S3 E24: I have to get this out!

by Clifton Pettyjohn
March 23rd 2021

In today's bonus episode Clifton leads a conversation about a revelations he recently had concerning a framework that no longer fits nor serves him. 


sometimes you have to free yourself enough to explore some of the things that your core is telling you to explore. See you don't think that it's your core telling you to explore because you've identified it as something that's bad or something that's negative because somebody else told you it was bad and negative. Somebody else told you it was bad and negative. Well what if that's the solution that you've been searching for? What if that's the answer that you've been searching for? And I'm not saying that you just let everything hang all out and just you're now you're just over here believing this and believing that and believing this and believe in that. But what I'm saying is you have to play with a little bit and play with it a little bit. And I used that word play loosely but you have to allow yourself as I tell everybody to go door. The explorer a little bit because if you never step out and explore anything, where's the growth come in? All you're doing is swelling. You look like you're growing but you're gaining fat. You're not even gaining muscle. Trust me, I understand that, gaining fat but you're gaining fat, not gaining muscle anything that's gonna benefit your spiritual, psychological, financial family.

Whatever your core area that you are looking to grow with. Yeah. Yeah. Many people define stagnation as not producing or being at a standstill. I get it. However, I would like to add a little weight to the definition and say that I may be producing. I may be moving. However my production and my movements are disrespectful to the purpose that's inside of me to the greatness that's inside of me. If that's going on that stagnation as well and that's okay. Guess why? Because I have developed a tool. I wrote a book called from stagnation and transformation. And that book was written specifically for individuals that feel stuck, that feel lost, that feel like they're just wandering in the wilderness. They feel like they just need something, it's just missing. It's okay. I want you to hit over to www dot clinton petty john dot com forward slash transformation there.

You're gonna find a complimentary portion of the book. That's right. A complimentary portion of the book. I want you to read that portion After that it's gonna ignite such a fire inside of you that you're gonna want to purchase, the your personal copy of from stagnation of transformation. So I want you to do that as well. Why? Because I believe that it will give you a 21 day jump start to fulfilling or re identifying purpose and whatever core area you find yourself stagnant in. So again, visit www dot clinton Pettijohn dot com forward slash transformation. What's up everybody you are listening to the what now podcast where we discuss ways of effectively addressing life's most difficult moments. Yeah. Hey, what's up everybody? Welcome to the what now podcast I'm laughing because I sat here and it's been a good 10 minutes y'all and I was in, I was going in, I'm telling you and it was so good it must have just been for me.

I must have really needed that because I had never unde muted my mic. Anyway, welcome to the What now podcast That's right. The what now podcast where we discuss effective ways of facing life's most defining moments now, if you listen to the podcast before on any other episode, you already know that there was a time we define those moments as difficult moments. But throughout the convert come throughout our conversations, maturity begin to set in and as maturity begin to set in our language begin to change our language, begin to mature, our language begin to expand. We became more aware and conscious of our language and we begin to understand how powerful our words are that we put out there and we realized that the only reason why these moments were difficult in our lives is number one, we define them as difficult and number two we were fighting the process so we begin to mature and we said ok, so where are we going to go from?

From where where where do we go from here? Where exactly do we go from here? So we begin to cross that word difficult out, scratch that word, difficult out, erase that word used white out, do whatever it is you have to do and replace that word with defining why because we have the right the authority and most importantly the responsibility to define those moments in our lives and not allow ourselves to be defined by any moment in our lives. Our pause here to remind you that you are greater than any moment in your life. Everything that is happening in your life is but for a moment. But what we want to do is we want to make sure that we are focused enough to take advantage of every moment in our lives, live our lives. Why? Because there are there are tools, techniques, strategies, resources that we can gather together to use in our favor when we are present in our moment.

So we want to make sure we're always present in our moment. How do we do that? I'm glad you asked. We're gonna do our breathing exercises, Take a deep breath in hold it breathe out. Mhm. one more time. Deep breath in hold it breathe out. Yeah. Now if you were able to complete the exercise, number one, that means that there's breath remaining in your body. Therefore as long as breath remains in your body purpose yet remains as long as breath remains in your body, you are still here to do what you were created to do. Then I have to say number two is sometimes we devote devote so much of our energy towards things that have happened in our past and we think I wish I could go back and change and I should have did this and I could have did this and I would have did this. You know, we need to scratch all of that and breathing helps us pull the energy we have dedicated to our past and then pull the energy we dedicated to the fear of the future or the possibility of the future Hear me?

I'm not saying that we don't make plans for the future, but we gather all of that energy, bring it to the present with the energy that we have here in the present. And then this is when our future comes into play. Why? Because now we are here, we are present to gather those tools, techniques, resources together, everything that we need. The strategies that we need to apply in order to produce a now that draws and connects and is attracted to that future you dreamt about and even the future you've never even dreamed about or the future you may have stopped dreaming dreaming about. We are here now and I was so glad to have you here with me. I'm so glad that you are present with me. You are beautiful inside and out. I can't see you physically. But I can feel your energy. I can feel you pulling. I can feel you are embracing this new. I can feel you just desiring to be positioned for purpose.

So, I thank each and every one of you for joining us on tonight because I want to make sure you are subscribed to our podcast. You can visit www dot the what now podcast dot me is at the bottom of the screen and it's gonna take you to a website that will lead you to all of your favorite listening platforms. Now, if you're listening now, chances are you're listening all your favorite listening platform. I encourage you don't just listen, I need to hear back from you. I want you to leave star ratings and you can be honest, if you don't like it, that's fine. But give me that feedback about what it is that you are getting from the podcast now. If you on a platform that doesn't allow you to do that, here's what I want you to do. I want you to email us at admin at the transformation center dot com. And remember I'm gonna put that in the description for you because it's the it's a whole nother matter of fact, here's what we're gonna do, scratch that email address, email me directly at cp ventilate at Clifton's Pettijohn dot com.

Again, the letter C, the letter p V E N T I L A T E s at Clifton's Pettijohn dot com. Let me know what you think about the show. If you have any subject you would like me to talk about on the show. You are someone out there that has a what now story that you would like to share with our listening audience. Send that in now. I do want to say this just because you submit a story does not mean that you are automatically booked on the show. I have to read the story. I have to have a conversation with you. Make sure our vibrations or aligned and everything is in order with what it is that the purpose of this show is and you know, I've been talking about making sure that I get back to the purpose of this show. So I have to make sure of all of that. But I want to hear you guys this story. If you listen from the beginning to now, I want to hear how this podcast has helped you in your life. Okay, so I want you to reach out to me. You can also, if you need coaching services you might say cliff.

I just need to have a conversation. That's great. I offer a complimentary Purpose power call, I believe it's called, I can't remember what it's called. It's 30 minutes. All right. It's an introductory call. There are no strings attached. That does not sign you. I will not sign you up for any coaching program if you desire to continue after this conversation, that is wonderful. That is great. But what I wanna do is I want to help get you jump started. So that's you. I want you to text transformation to 302 6485544 and we can have a conversation. I love conversations on conversations changed my life, conversations changed my life conversations have changed my life. Alright so let's get to today's show because someone you're probably like well what are you even doing on here? This isn't even a day to day that you normally release a podcast and you don't hear without a guest. It's been a while since you've been on here without a guest.

Yes, I am on here without a guest on today. I made you guys a promise when I started this podcast and I made myself a promise that any time that I felt something strongly in my spirit or I felt something strongly in my heart or in my mind and I just could not shake it that I would get behind this camera and get it out of me And that's what I'm doing on tonight. Okay that's what I'm doing on wells about 12 almost 12. So you probably hear my voice started to change because a little late I'm a little tired. So um I just want to get this out though before I go to bed now um mm I hope that nobody ever hears me and feels as if I say things from a space of judgment, I will never say anything from a space of judgment and if it sounds like a space of judgment you can come to me and we have a conversation.

One of my friends bless me the other day I am the go to person when you want to share something in your life that you just can't share with everybody else. I laugh all the time. I hold a lot of secrets. Some I forget because it's like, okay, I just forget it. Um but I I know that that's a part of who I am is a part of my, my makeup. It's in my D. N. A. To be able to hear individual stories from a place of no judgment, in a place of love and then be able to give an unbiased thought opinion or even direction when people are asking for direction because I never want to give direction from a place of pain. I never want to give direction from a space of control. I never want to give direction from a space of manipulation. I never want to give direction from a space that I say, hurt of hurt of disappointment of rejection, of fear.

I don't want to give cloudy Mhm Mhm Information or cloudy uh recommendations. I never want to do that. I never want to do that. As a matter of fact, there have been times that people have come to come to me, asked my opinion about something and I have to inform them. I'm not in a space to give you my opinion, but I will talk you through this and tell you connect with who you are and then who you are can communicate to you what it is that you need to do. I'm not a person to tell you to do what I tell you to do, No baby, that's not how I operate. I want you to get to that space where you can communicate with God within yourself and begin to move freely like that. Okay, so anyway, so I hope as I talk tonight, you hear my heart, I hope you hear this from a space of healing or a space of getting to a space of healing in a space of wholeness.

Okay, so first of all we, we all know this kurt franklin and his son situation and um everybody has a thought, everybody has an opinion about it. Uh and that is great and I love it because I feel like I always want to create a space where we all feel free enough to freely express our thoughts and opinions without being judged. Okay. Um but I haven't been able to shake this thing, I really have not been able to shake this thing and I'm gonna, I want to say this in the beginning, I do not think that kurt nor his son are bad people and we could have a whole conversation about good and bad. Anyway, I think they have great individuals. I really do. I believe they are very creative and I believe at the core they are loving individuals. Um so here's how I'm going to start this last month at the transformation center and I have not plugged the transformation center on here, but I lead a faith based community and I encourage each and every one of you that listens to the podcast, come visit us at the transformation center.

Listen, we have a facebook page. I'm gonna give you the website, you go to the website and take you to the facebook page and also give you some of the teachings that we've been doing and tell you the things that we believe because we are not a church. We are a faith based community with people from all walks of life that gathered together for the sake of growth and development so that we can go out into our communities and be that beacon of life for those who need it. Alright. It helps us tap into the more than meets the eye in our own lives. And if you were a fan of the cartoon transformers, you know that the theme song says transformers more than meets the eye and each and every one of us, there is a more than meets the eye. Sometimes we haven't been in a safe space or a safe place to be able to experience or expressed that more than me. See I that's what the transformation center is. So you can visit www dot T R A N S.

The number four M A T I O N. Center and center is spelled C E N T R A C E N T R E dot com. I know you said Cliff. That's extra yes. Um extra because I want you to understand the uniqueness of the transformation center. So I hope to see you there in the comment section D M and s just letting us know you know that you are being blessed by the conversations that are taking place at the transformation center. So I want to invite you there last month. I did a I call them teachers are more or less conversations about framework. We were dealing with framework and in the first session was called Framework Okay. And in this section we begin to talk about the extremities of our framework and our framework is basically how our life is shaped. Our belief systems are shaped. Okay? And this whole teaching, this two part series was dealing with what was really us versus what had been uh and placed inside of us offer others belief systems.

Um I got very controversial and I just want to give you a warning as well if you come over there to the faith based community because some people identified as a church, they're going to be times you're gonna hear some cousin. Matter of fact, the the title of the second uh part of the conversation was Funk Framework. I know that's very hard for a lot of people but I want you to go listen to it because of the acronym connected to it. There's an acronym connected to it. So when I begin to talk about framework, before I started talking about framework man, my whole belief system was being stripped down to the core or the foundation of it all. And as I begin to strip a lot of things down, I begin to understand that a lot of the beliefs that I had picked up a lot of the ways that I live my life on a daily basis were not me, they were not me, they were from the influence of mentors, from the influence of people that I idolized, from the influence I say this as well from the influence of people's perception of ideas that I gathered and pulled to myself for myself because I felt like I didn't have the capacity to draw conclusions about a matter without somebody else helping me draw those conclusions.

So I had to be stripped down to my framework and and to to the core to the naked nous of it and the intimacy of it to where I was exposed now and looking at myself and this exposed nature and now having to fall in love with something that I may have run from for years and that being the core of you know of who I am, the the me minus all that extra stuff, Me minus all that extra stuff. So it really began to help me understand and begin to reconstruct my framework, One of the things I say on there is that many times we spend our life minimizing ourself and maximizing others when that's not what we were created to do. I say this all the time. The creator of all creators created you with him and dwelling inside of you. Do you think that you are supposed to minimize God in you think about that, really begin to think about that, and if you can begin to think about that, you can begin to see yourself from a different vantage point.

And when you see yourself from that vantage point, you'll understand why I said Funk framework, you'll understand it because now you'll begin to deconstruct those frames that have become prisons to you because framework is not designed to become of prison. Matter of fact, I'm looking at Wild that is powerful. I never looked at it that way. Sometimes you need a uh elastic framework which means as you gain weight, you know what I'm saying, it's not a specific size, it can be stretched that can be brought in, it can be taken out. Sometimes we get so stuck in our own ways and and belief systems that are not ours. And then we said, no, that's what I believe, that's what I believe here's what I'm saying. And I said this in the framework series as well. Sometimes you have to free yourself enough to explore some of the things that your core is telling you to explore. So you don't think that it's your core telling you to explore because you've identified it as something that's bad or something that's negative because somebody else told you it was bad and negative, somebody else told you it was bad and negative.

Well, what if that's the solution that you've been searching for? What if that's the answer that you've been searching for? And I'm not saying that you just let everything hang all out and just you now, you're just over here believing this and believing that and believing this and believe in that. But what I'm saying is you have to play with a little bit and play with it a little bit and I use that word play loosely, but you have to allow yourself as I tell everybody to go door the Explorer a little bit because if you never step out and explore anything, where's the growth come in? All you're doing is swelling. You look like you're growing, but you're gaining fat, you're not even gaining muscle. Trust me, I understand that, gaining fat, but you're gaining fat, not gaining muscle, anything that's gonna benefit your spiritual, psychological financial family, whatever your core area that you are looking to grow in, that's not what I want to talk about my framework, My framework got stripped down to the foundation.

I talked about how good sometimes it is to get stripped down to the foundation because sometimes when the only thing that's left is the foundation, you will begin to find some cracks in the foundation, you'll begin to find out that the foundation may not be as level as you thought it was. And you may find out that the foundation isn't as strong as you thought it was and it can't support that what you are attempting to build on top of that foundation. So you have to go back re secure that foundation? Re secure that foundation and guess what, you may have to build on to that foundation because that's what you're supposed to build is larger than that foundation is larger than that foundation framework. That's what we were talking. So let's talk let's talk framework because this curve franklin thing with his son has really uh brought light to some things for me and I said I'm not judging him or his son. I hear a lot of people talking about this custom thing like, oh my God, I can't believe he cussed y'all can we grow up just a little bit and I was on facebook and is really what bothers me and on instagram and I see all these church people and pastors talking about him cussing and how wrong it is and many of them I've been on the phone with and we've both been cussing.

So it's what he did wrong because it became public. So it's okay to do things privately. So that's another deconstruction of framework that has to take place because that bursts guilt, that burst condemnation while they're telling you. There is no more guilt or condemnation. They are conditioning you for condemnation, conditioning you for condemnation conditioning and we're going to take the responsibility on their hands. You're allowing yourself to be conditioned for condemnation. And it's own no judgments on here, baby. Because for years I was conditioned for, okay, I was conditioned for there were many things that I became ashamed of about myself because I was I've seen people do it privately and I was doing some things privately that we were crying aloud against publicly. Now, whatever your belief is concerning custody. Hey baby, that is you. That is between you and your creator.

All right. All I'm saying is we're making a big deal about the wrong thing to me, the cussing part as a distraction to the entire thing. Here's nothing the church that's supposed to be a private matter. That's the that's the problem with many of us now, many of us are struggling. Won't go to therapy. Won't seek help. Won't have conversations with individuals that are in our families that we call friends that we call loved ones. We won't communicate the truth to them because that's a private matter. That's how we need to handle alone. This will not be made public. How about it was made public? So now we can begin to deal with some of the things that we're manifesting that are in both of them. How about that? Maybe that's what it is. Maybe this is the shine light on what's going on, not just in the body of christ but going on in the world that we all need to heal. We all need to come to a space where we can reconcile.

We all need to face some of the things in our lives that we face, right we ran from and I'm not telling you to face it because a negative thing because many times what you're going to understand is the thing that you are running from will be the thing that you are used the most for like yo I uh that's a whole nother story and the whole another story. So yeah, the custom thing that's a distraction y'all can we just let that go now? Here's where I did have a problem with because I love me a good cuss, I'm telling you now, I love me a good cuss but I don't like curses and I feel like some of the things that were said now I don't know, I don't know the whole conversation so I can't deal with it with what would push him to say some of those things and even in that he has to take responsibility for why he said some of those specific things called him poor called him skinny. You know those things like that, you know, here's how here's how I looked at it.

Okay and here's here's while I'm talking about this because I'm not talking about, as I said to tear anybody down. I'm still gonna listen to curves music and I'm gonna check out some of his son's muse. A matter of fact, I'm trying to get his son to come on the show. You know what I'm saying not to talk about kurt, but I want to talk about him. I want to talk about what now, what is he gonna do now? What is he going to do with his life now? But anyway, okay, so as I am, um listening to them and I'm gonna say this and I'm gonna be sensitive about this as well too. And I know that they're going to be some people that's going to take this and run with it. There'll be some people that's going to take this and misunderstand it. Okay. I I realize all that that's okay with me as I was looking at their these two interactions and I begin to think about my dad and my relationship. But I went a little deeper than that. Yeah, that's why I talk about your framework, what's important to do this self work because those two's interaction and what they have going on now reminded me of why I never wanted to have kids.

Oh man, I never wanted to have kids because I didn't want to face me, I didn't want to come into come into face to face with myself now, here's how powerful that is. I have kids that have called me dad. Uh I remember I started working at Richard Island when I was 19 years old, okay. And I had kids that were 17, 18 and somewhat great turned 19, same age as me. And Richard and I had to that called me dad, okay. To now we are year two years apart to this day, they still called me dad, okay, went to other programs and stuff. And I have some boys that I raised and still called me dad today, you know? And I remember one specific instance, I'm telling you this young man, Ooh, uh, he's still my heart, but I remember one specific instance, he was doing something at, at the uh, program I was working at, and he did something and I was bringing the class back in from outside and I said, boy, I don't even understand why you would do something like that.

And he turned around and looked at me and said, hey, I'm your son. And uh, I act just like you, yo there was so many emotions that were going on with me. Uh, number one, I wanted to go kurt on him. Uh, but I understood at the time I couldn't do that because I had a class full of kids. Um I understand, I said, I didn't go Kirk on it because I had a class full of kids, that that's what saved him that day. But I remember I went and talked to my pastor, he was laughing about it. Um and he was saying how he was telling his wife. So some something on the lines, like I don't get cliff and some of the stuff that he does, and she was like, well, remember that's how you were with your spiritual father as well. So I was laughing at all of that has all the pieces were coming together. And I remember that day because that was like one of the defining moments in my life that really made me face some of the things that were in me.

But I remember reaching a stage and I just had this conversation with somebody as well. And I've talked about this on here I think, and I've talked about it on other podcasts. Um getting my charge. When I, when I got my charge after I got my charge, I kind of isolated myself from everybody And I caged myself up. I caged myself up. Not just physically, I have done time in prison, physically. I did 18 days, 18 hard days. Okay baby. So don't, don't come for me because I got some time under my belt. I'm playing. But physically, emotionally, psychologically I begin to live life in a box. Okay? And I started to slowly get free slowly get free and slowly get free. But I did not realize that one of the things that I still was rejecting was the father in me. The father in me now, Hear me out about a week ago, a uh close family member.

I was like, uh, well maybe you just, my dad, she was, she's processing some things within herself. And when she said it, that thing hit me hard. It hit me hard. It did. And I cry, I'm gonna cry baby. I I don't even front and pretend a lot of people don't think I cry. I will cry at the drop of a hat. I could be watching a movie, that thing get good. I could see somebody get a breakthrough or hear the stories. It's just so powerful to me. I will cry rape with you baby. I will cry right with you. I don't mind it. But it really began to break me down and I started thinking and processing some things and I realized, whoa. Right Since that whole situation, you haven't wanted to be a father because you didn't want to face yourself and not say that my child will repeat everything that I did. But I do know I do know from personal experience that it will be me looking in the mirror at myself.

And sometimes, although I've said this on here, I love to look in the mirror at myself. There are some days I don't like to look in the mirror and to whatever degree you can take that however you want to take it because some days I don't like to see what's looking back at me and I don't like to face what's looking back at me. I don't like to look at some, sometimes I don't look like to look at what some of my decisions have yielded. That that makes sense to you. And I think it does, sometimes I don't like to look at that, but I have to gain an understanding that it's okay not to want to do it, but I have to do it because when I do that, that pulls me to the present and now because I'm pulled to the present and I'm facing that thing, I'm facing it from a different position and I once faced it before because I have acquired new tools, techniques, strategies to be able to face and deal whatever whatever it is I need to deal with. So I was at the space just realizing like, yo, it's not that you don't want to be a father is that you just don't want to face you father son, you don't want to face you and that father son relationship and that father son relationship.

And when I begin to hear kurt and I begin to hear uh court, I don't know how to say his name. That just awaken something within me to face the reality of that's why. And I encourage you all, I'm reading some of the comments and some of y'all put, y'all save signified Holy goose feel far baptized people are putting on this young man's page and you know what that shows me, It shows me that because you have learned how to function and dysfunction. You expect him still to function and dysfunction. Now, granted, do I think he might could have handled it a little differently? I'm sure he probably did, but he did what he felt would get his father's attention. And sometimes we don't understand that we train people. The only thing that's going to get my attention is the extreme thing. So what did he do? He and his father, where it hurts?

What does it hit a lot of church people where it hurts your image, what people perceive publicly about you. And it's not just in the church. I don't want people to hear he is attacking the church. No, no, no, no baby. Because it's everywhere, but we all have to get to a space in our lives. What that image doesn't mean anything to us. What really means something to us is who we really are, our character, our character, our character really means something. So could it have been, I can play it on both sides because I, like I said, I see it from the father perspective. I see it from the sun perspective cause some of y'all hitting hard honor thy mother and father. What is saying, collages fathers provoke not your sons or your Children. Whatever translation you read. So, I see it from both perspectives and I see it from that. Now, you'll tell me this, Could kurt have a problem facing his son because he sees himself and his son.

Could that be the problem? Now I want you also to think about this, to think about this part too because it's waiting on both sides. It's waiting on both sides. Because here you have this young man is I mean he's 33 years old. He needs to get over. Some of y'all are 50 years old and you still are responding like you're in your twenties and your teenage years. You know why? Because when we experience traumatic experiences, we stop developing their sometimes so sometimes what begins to manifest out of us is not our age, but it's our development and we know this. But because you are a fan of somebody, you will not hold them accountable. I'm a fan and I will I don't care who you are. I will hold you accountable. Why? Because I expect you to hold me accountable as well. I don't need no fans. I want people in my corner that said that cliff. I love you. But you know that attitude right there.

That is nasty what you just did to them. People was wrong. I need people in my corner that can can help navigate me through those times. It's not my hype man all the time. Sometimes like yo get that together, change your language, raise your level of expectations. Stop making some of the decisions that you're making it look like yesterday's decision. I need people in my corner like that And I'm being honest with the apology. Kind of took me back because I know somebody else. He don't need to apologize to his son. I'm gonna tell you this. As I said, I don't believe he needs to apologize for the cousin, but for the cursing. Yes, but he did not do that. Matter of fact, in that apology, I never heard him take responsibility for his actions. Still not from a space of judgment. I'm just saying, let's be aware because these are issues in our families, but we have become products of what happens in this house, stays in this house and the reality is, it does not stay in the house.

What happens in the house now goes out creates another house, causes that to happen in that house. It has to stay in that house. They go create another house. So it just begins to spread like a cancer. It spreads like a virus, it begins to spread. And I'm gonna say this and this is, you know, this is me. It might be an unpopular opinion and I know how it is you if what was said, what if, what I heard said is true that the therapist is Bishop Jakes, I love Bishop Jakes show. I don't think anybody can walk us through the word greater than Bishop jakes can man. He can make you feel as if you are right there in the middle of the story, experiencing yourself, experiencing, you're experiencing it yourself. But they need professional counseling and I know some of you are not gonna like that, but that's what they need. They need an unbiased, not opinion, but an unbiased educated individual to help walk them through some of the things that they have yet to walk through.

I remember and listen and and this is nothing against because some of them, but he got the holy ghost and and we need to live according to the word, I get what you're saying baby, I get all of that and that is great and that is wonderfully Kanda Lavi shaky and alaba SIA. So you understand, I still got it okay, but there are sometimes you need to go sit your behind down on a couch that can help you process some of these psychological things that you have demonized. Is there something that's just not the devil? We have to take responsibility for them? We do, we have to take response and you know what I'm saying? We baby, I'm talking to me because I love my therapist, he retired. I gotta give me a new one now, but I love it. It helped me get so much out that I had carried for years and you know what else? He helped me realize he also helped me realize that some of the misunderstanding between me and some of my loved ones was because of my skewed perception of things and why was my perception skewed?

Because I was picking up everybody's belief systems, This is what I'm gonna believe this and I believe in that and I believe in this. So he's on because I have my own belief system. I bet you if I had a conversation with you within 30 minutes, you would realize that some of that stuff you picked up and say you believe you really don't believe and that's some of the struggle going on within you. Now. Your belief system is trying to mature and develop, but it's fighting all of the other belief systems that you have adopted in your life and now they're at war with each other and your belief system is just like, yeah, I just forget it. I'm not even fighting because you just keep wanting that old belief system that just does not serve you anymore. And I'm not saying be disrespectful, but I'm also not saying that, but I'm also saying don't disrespect. You don't disrespect your ability to hear God, don't disrespect your ability to form your own thoughts and opinions.

Don't disrespect the greatness that's inside of you. Yeah. Mhm. So this thing really had me thinking because I was like, no her so much man so much. And I could say a lot more about it. But like I said, it's not really about that situation for me as much as it is that it helped me come to an awareness of why it was that I just did not want to have as people called my own kids because I consider my my babies that I raised and our babies no more than men now, but I consider them my kids hands down and they know they know if anything goes on in their life, they need me there, I'm gonna be there whatever come past them able to be, that's always but I was facing something in me that I just did not want that responsibility. They want the responsibility and in this world, I'm telling you now the world helps, it makes the choice easy for you as well because who wants to bring an innocent child into a world like this right now.

But what I realize is that I have to deal with that because it's not wrong for me not to want to have kids, but it is wrong for me if the root of why I don't want to have kids, it's laced in something that's traumatic that I don't want to deal with. So the last thing I'll say about Kirk franklin and his family, I'm praying for, I'm really praying for them, I'm praying for all of them involved, every single one of them involved. I pray excuse me that they get the healing the clarity and the direction that they need and I pray that this will be an eye opener around the world that we will stop trying to preach over our problems, teach over our problems, prophecy over our problems, pray over our problems, outreach over our problems, connect with more people over our problems, save this family and that family over our problems and begin to face ourselves.

I know I am more than ever. I'm beginning to face me. So now I'm at a space where I'm saying, OK, Cliff, what now, where does this leave you now? Since you you come to a space of understanding why you didn't want to have kids. So now what you regard to make some babies? I didn't say all that. Now. Hold out. No, no, no. And I got a whole philosophy on kids, but I don't think you're ready for that. Yeah, I don't think you're ready for how I want to have my kids. I don't think you're ready for that. So we're gonna leave that alone. But you're out there and you can relate, you might not even know what's going on with Kirk franklin and his son. You may know what's going on or you may have already drawn your own conclusion. One of the things that I hope that we all can do is to open ourselves up beyond our personal biases, our personal experiences, what we were taught because some of you no matter this young man could be right, he could release a tape of kurt beating him up hospitalizing him and some of you will still say I, stand with kurt because you don't disrespect your parents.

I agree. You don't disrespect your parents. I definitely agree there. I definitely agree. But at the same time everybody has to be held accountable and I don't dish that out without taking that end because accountability thing. And it's also a thing about what do you want for individuals, what I want for everybody. And I know some people say that is so unrealistic. I want everybody to be healed. I want everybody to reach their maximum potential matter. If I want everybody to exceed their maximum potential. I want everybody's eyes to be open to truth ears to be open to truth. I want everybody to experience true freedom. Now I do understand that freedom. Eyes being open ears Being open is an ugly process. Sometimes it's not a pretty process, but because I was willing to go through the ugliness of my situations, I'm willing to sit with you rock with you pray with you, push you encourage you get in your face sometimes through your rough moments so you can experience that and not just experience it momentarily.

Experience it sporadically. I want this to be a consistency in your life. Mhm. Mhm. But before we can get all that we got to deal with some of that stuff. We got to deal with the stuff. I always talk about how at the getting to our essence and and Michael Weston, he talks about the core who we are and Eliot talks about our divine intelligence informing us. And I always talk about digging past everything that we piled on top of it. And that's the reality of we got to get to it. We gotta dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and dig and be skillful in that digging because sometimes you don't need to dig for three hours this day. Maybe you need to dig for our today and then sit and eat on that and focus on that and work out a plan for developing, not allowing that stuff back anymore.

And then you dig the next day for hour and a half. And now you working and processing then as you're processing that is leading you to the memory of some things that are inside of you, some great things that are inside of you, some dreams, some hopes and ambitions that are in you. It's it's reminding you of some relationships that may can be repaired. Hear me out, Some may can be repaired and I'm not saying go back and start stalking people from that type of relationships. I am talking about family and friends and maybe some of those type relationships too, baby, But you got to make sure it's mutual. Now you can't just go MS parker on them, but you don't know and you keep digging and you keep digging in the more that you dig. Now you are creating space between what once completely smothered your core Now there are light shining through, light shining through and you can begin to hear even the more your core communicating with you and you dig a little more and dig a little more and the more that you begin to dig, the louder your core becomes all the stronger your core because if you think about working out right now, I can't talk about how strong your core come become because you hear this, that's not a strong core right now, but the more that you work that core out and work that core, how then it becomes stronger and becomes stronger, that voice within you becomes louder and louder and not louder in a demanding way, but louder in a way that you are more aware of it, you become more aware of it and the more you become aware of it now you begin to make moves that are beyond the memory of the things that used to influence you.

Whole new framework, whole new framework and that's how I'm moving because before I bring a child into this world, I want to make sure my framework is in a space where I don't start to attempt to influence their framework in a negative manner. Yeah, let's not love each and every one of you. I want you to text Framework to 30-6485544, that's gonna let me know, you've heard the entire podcast or the entire episode is also going to give you an opportunity to enter for the drawing at the end of the month. Thank you all for listening. Hopefully I did not confuse anybody. If you would like to have further further conversation about this episode as well, just email me at c p ventilate at Clifton's Pettijohn dot com and we can have a conversation concerning it.

All right, listen, I love each and every one of you. I appreciate each and every one of you. If you're listening on Youtube, make sure you are subscribing. Run that page up, you hear me? Run it up, run it up, run it up. Run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up. Run it up. Run it up. Alright, let's run these numbers up comment. Let me know what you think. All right as always, create a great day, Walk in purpose and by all means execute your vision peace. Mhm Yeah, today is a great day to start your own podcast. Whether you're looking for a new marketing channel, I have a message you want to share with the world or just think it would be fun to have your own talk show, podcasting is an easy, inexpensive and fun way to expand your reach online.

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S3 E24: I have to get this out!
S3 E24: I have to get this out!
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