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S3 E19: Freedom through Decisions!

by Clifton Pettyjohn
February 16th 2021

In today's bonus episode, Clifton shares from his heart after an emotional breakthrough. 



I remember a space in my life where I was now I encourage you to always work on you and improve you and being the best version of you that you can be but make sure that in you being you and you being the best version of you, you're not losing you. And I know with me there were times I found myself in situation ships and even in relationships where I was losing me because I began to realize that the person that I was with did not want me but I can't put that on them. I can't put that on them. I can't put that on them. Thank you. Cliff. I can't put that on them Because the reality is I didn't show them me in the beginning. Now that was a situation I did show me in the beginning a whole nother situation because sometimes you show you in the beginning and people think they can change you to make you to be who they want you to be and the reality is they can't change you. And I used to do the same thing I thought that I could me being as awesome as I am and as great as I am and and as encouraging and as strengthening and empowering that I am and as loving as I am.

I can make somebody want me man And then here's the thing too. If you don't want you, why do you think somebody else is gonna want you mm Yeah. Many people define stagnation as not producing or being at a standstill. I get it. However, I would like to add a little weight to the definition and say that I may be producing, I may be moving however, my production and my movements are disrespectful to the purpose that's inside of me, to the greatness that's inside of me. If that's going on that stagnation as well and that's okay, guess why? Because I have developed a tool, I wrote a book called from stagnation and transformation and that book was written specifically for individuals that feel stuck, that feel lost, that feel like they're just wandering in the wilderness, that feel like they just need something.

It's just missing. It's okay. I want you to hit over to www dot clinton Pettijohn dot com forward slash transformation there. You're gonna find a complimentary portion of the book. That's right. A complimentary portion of the book. I want you to read that portion After that it's gonna ignite such a fire inside of you that you're gonna want to purchase, the your personal copy of from stagnation of transformation. So I want you to do that as well. Why? Because I believe that it will give you a 21 day jump start to fulfilling or re identifying purpose and whatever core area you find yourself stagnant in. So again visit www dot clinton Pettijohn dot com forward slash transformation. What's up? Everybody you are listening to the what now podcast where we discuss ways of effectively addressing life's most difficult moments.

What is up everybody welcome to the What now podcast. That's right. The What now podcast where we discuss effective ways of facing life's most defining moments now. If you've been listening to the podcast, you already understand that we started out calling these moments difficult moments but then we matured through our conversation and that's how powerful conversation is. That's how powerful conversation is that you can matured through your conversation and it helps unlock some things inside of you and what was unlocked was the reality of that. These moments are not difficult. These are defining moments in our lives and because they're defining moments in our lives, we have the right the authority and most importantly the responsibility to define those moments and not allow the moments to define us nor allow ourselves to be defined by those moments.

All right. So I want to thank each and every one of you for joining us on this morning, this afternoon, this evening, late night, whenever you're listening to this, my name is clipped in petty john I am your trusted voice of transformation. I teach individuals how to revolutionize their lives through purpose identification in execution. All right, so what are we gonna talk about tonight? So glad you asked y'all listen. So I put this on the night because I thought about going to the gym. I did not make it to the gym but I thought about going to the gym so I said, hey, you thought about going to the gym. What not recording this. Alright, maybe if you're recording this, this will make you a little more excited about going back to the gym. Some of you may not know. Um after my divorce, I was going to the gym like two or three times a day sometimes. Um I'm really getting back to saying that um again, y'all, y'all got to help me with that because when I say it, I hate to say it, you know, so we're gonna try not to say um okay, if I say um then I have to give away a prize to those who recognize that.

I said um after this point in the podcast. Alright, so starting right now. Okay. Yeah, I used to go to the gym two and three times a day, loved it. I had lost weight. Um I lost fat and put on muscle. My body mass index was where I wanted it to be. It was great. I was eating healthy, I was doing all of those things and then boom, I started picking up a healthy habits. Once again, I stopped going to the gym. I use not going to the gym as an excuse not to work out when clearly we can work out wherever we are, but I'm picking that side of me back up. Guys right now, I weigh 2 35. Okay, 2 35. My target weight is 1 95. Okay, I was down to 1 97 But down to 195 with about 23. Excuse me. My B. M. I around 23. 24.5. Somewhere around there. So that's my target weight. I want to put this on camera because I want you guys to help hold me accountable, to help hold me accountable.

Now, some of you looking you say, well you don't look that big target is the stomach. Yo it's the stomach and these love handles. Do you love? Well, I don't really calm. Love handles these handles here. These handles here that I do not like. I just don't like it. So we are about to go on a transformative experience through with our physical body as well. Because when I gain weight, I gain it in my stomach and I gained it in my face. You'll see my face and then I start to lose my neck. I was looking at some pictures of me from a couple of years ago, y'all, I was like, yo what is going on? Because I had a whole neck and I didn't have the five chance that some of you might say you don't have five chance. That's why I keep this here. I do not like facial hair at all on me. Um I just don't like it on me. It looks nice on a lot of people. But I never have liked it on me. Maybe because I had it in like fourth grade. I've had excess 4th grade. So I really don't care too much for facial hair.

That's why you see a lot of times I keep all this shade, all this shaved down. I just don't like it. Um, But this stays here because I got 17 chins and I'm trying to hide my 17 chins. All right now, I want to address something. Somebody asked me, doesn't want to address it. Somebody asked me why did I stop using the back black background and I went to the white background. I want to explain that. Okay. Yeah, there's probably gonna be one of the most vulnerable episodes of the podcast I've ever had. Okay. Because I'm gonna be talking about some things and we're gonna go there today. We're gonna go there. Okay. Um, but I want to explain that. I used to have a black background, which was actually a blanket. God has really blessed that show. I mean, I have beautiful lighting now the lighting is actually professional lighting, but when I started, I didn't have any of this stuff. You know, I didn't have, I didn't even have a tripod. I was snacking my jordans boxes up so that I could use that as a trial pile.

I didn't have the microphone. I started without him mike. I had my head said then I used uh one of my friends mix and then I got the blue Yeti and then the blue yetI was great, but because I don't live alone, it picks up on a lot of background noise. So I had to get this mic because it's more of a condenser mic, but it still picks a little bit up on background. So anyway, we've come a long way off, I'm telling you, we have really come a long way, a long way. I thank God, but I love the black background and eventually when I get my own studio space, I plan to do some crazy things with our background. Okay, But the reason why I use this now instead of that, it's a confidence thing. Okay, the reason why I started with a black background is because I have discoloration when I didn't shave now. So you probably see the hair, but when I shaved my head, my head is still discolored, like it's darker.

This is darker than this now, you're too. But if I use a back black ground black background, you don't see it as much as you do when I use other backgrounds. So for a minute, I was only using back black ground black backgrounds because I was ashamed of this. I was ashamed of all this. So, it took me a while to get the confidence uh enough confidence to say, you know, effort y'all real talk. That's what I had to say. Like, forget it. See y'all, where would y'all mind going, I just had to come to a space where I'm comfortable on camera with you guys seeing me, even flaws and all. Now I'm not gonna say that I love it because some days I still feel like this, especially like tonight, it's one o'clock in the morning, I believe it is that I'm inspired to get on here and begin to share. So I don't like this, I don't, and then I don't like, I don't know what happened here. I got a bump, I tried to bust it, did it too early and then look at this.

So if you're out there and you know what I need to do, help me out with this because it will not go away and it's been here the longest gets on my nerves and it causes me not to want to record sometimes y'all I'm telling you, it causes me not to want to record sometimes. So anyway, that's why you see the white background. Now you see this background because this is me becoming more vulnerable. This is me accepting me for who I am. This is me not wanting to put on any front or airs this is me letting you see me far beyond what I was willing to share. So that's why the black background is gone. And you see this now, This is something for me. It's more of a confidence builder within me. So I hope that answers your question. Thank you for your question. And while we're on that subject, I want to give each and every one of you an opportunity to write and I'm going to start a segment Where I answer five questions each episode from our listening audience, you can write in.

Um, it can be anonymous or you can, we could was shot out your instagram names or shot Yeah, your instagram name that's always shouting out. We're not doing free advertisement on here. If you want to get an ad, you're welcome to do that as well. But I will mention your name. Give them your instagram handle. Read your question, answer your question. Excuse me, read your question, answer your question now, here's how we're gonna do it. I'm gonna draw the questions. I'll draw the questions. I'm not just gonna go and pick the questions so that I'm prepared for it. You know anything about the wood now podcast it is unscripted. It is very unscripted and unscripted and I want to keep that flow. I want to keep that flavor. I want to keep that style because that's me, it represents me and, and it's big for me to have gotten to this space because if you know me, I'm a Capricorn okay. Which is an Earth song which is a person who kind of likes everything structured and then ordered.

I like to know steps a through Z before I make a move. So me doing it unscripted sometimes helps me relax a little more and kind of let just let it flow and me go with that flow. You feel me All right? So I want you to mail your questions and mail your questions. I'm taking it back in the day. Y'all? I want you to email me your questions. Uh Admin A D M I N at the transformation center dot life. Now center is spelled C E N T R E. You can email it or if you're you follow me on any social media platform, you're welcome to DM me your message and we'll make sure that we get it in the pot for it to be drawn out of the pot. But that's a new segment that I'm going to be um uh premiering here on the show. Ok. I want to do a couple of segments, uh not going to talk about the other ones and tell, you know, we get that all mapped out.

So tonight and also want to apologize guys, here's what's up. Okay. I'm recording at 1:00 AM. I do not live alone. It is cold. The people who live with me have been very supportive of my podcast of the purpose empowerment sessions. We record the radio show, we record every time I record, we turn the heat off or in the summertime we turn the air off. So you guys don't hear the system, which is right outside of the window of the room that I recorded. They've been very patient with that. They I mean they have really, really, really been patient with that and I'm forever grateful for that. But I decided tonight it's too cold to be cutting it off and I'm not gonna do that anymore. You're just gonna have to hear that background noise until I'm able to get something um something to block it a little more. And if you want to assist with that, we welcome you to sponsor the podcast and I'll put that information in the show notes as well.

If you're looking to become a sponsor, you know, we we have great packages that I can also get you information about with that. But I just wanted to explain to you why you're going to hear that background noise and sometimes you may not hear now those who listen to the audio version of the podcast, you may not hear it because I may be able to strip it out or I'm gonna strip as much of it out as I can through editing video. I have not learned how to edit audio and video. So if you're out there and you know how to do that and you want to reach out because you wanna collaborate. Talk to me. Let's go, you can reach me at cp ventilate at Clifton's Pettijohn dot com. All right. So let's move now uh last week by um Shawn parcel and I talk about that in a later episode. If you're interested in what that is.

I don't know if you guys know this, but a few years back I wrote a book called from stagnation of transformation. It's right here. I want you to take time to visit www dot the transformation center. No, no, no no, no. You can visit that to www dot transformation center dot life. But here's what I want you to visit for the book, www dot clinton Pettijohn dot com forward slash transformation. There's a button at the top, a little tab at the top. You can push look, look, I'm gonna show you how to push it, push it like that, push it like that like that right there. If you push it like that right there, it's going to give you a preview of the book. Y'all? I want you to preview the book. Right me tell me what you think about the preview preview of the book preview of the book. Then I want you to go and purchase your copy of the book. Then I want you to read it. I want you to apply it and I want you to watch what begins to unfold out of you out of you. Why? Because everything that you need is already in you.

This book is simply a tool that's going to help navigate you to everything within you that you need or that yeah, that needs to get out of you because there's some things that are entered in you right now that want to get up out of you to help you be you baby. All right. So I want you to go check that out. But my um Sean pasta I was talking to me and um he had I want to say this Alright, okay again. Okay. I'm not editing this out either. And you know, if you see me keep looking away from the camera is because I'm using my phone for the first time in a long time because I wanted a better quality video. I have a great webcam, great webcam. But it's been a while since I used my phone and I just want to see the difference in quality. Okay?

But anyway, so he was talking to me and he had, he asked me to do something. He asked me to do something and I was I'm gonna do it because you know, that's just me. I love opportunity, being given opportunities, especially being given opportunities to do things that I may have never done before or that I may have done before, but I'm doing it in a new space and from a new new space. Um So here that just said, um he asked me to do something and when he asked me to do it, I said yes. Um yet there was a hesitation there. And uh, the hesitation was because of an experience I had before doing something similar. Okay. Now the person I was going to be doing this with was not the person that I did it with before.

There's nothing like the person I did it with before, however, I had not let that situation go, or I hadn't let my handling of that situation go. Because when the situation happened, that there there is uh something within me sometimes, that just is like, yo whatever, I don't even care, like, I'm just not for it, like, and that's a good thing sometimes, and then sometimes it's not a great thing, okay. Uh so I did not want to do it, but I did want to do, I was excited about doing it. And uh so I ended up doing it and it was great. It was great, we're still in the process of doing it as well. But it was great. I was so excited. It was like, yo, this is what's up, This is what this is really like, yo I could do this again and again and again and again, you know, if it's going to be like this, and I was talking to uh Mash on pasta, excuse me, Aquafina, if you're looking to um sponsor our podcast, hit me up.

Okay. So, I was talking to him and I was telling him, I said, you know, I didn't want to do what you asked me to do because when I did it before, that was an experience that I had I not getting into details of that, because it involves other people, okay. And, you know, here on the podcast, we focus on who ourselves, okay, thank you. And uh he told me that he addressed that and then he said again, I say be healed. And I said, mm okay, I got it. Now I'm a processor gods, I'm a processor. And I'm saying thinking, I started thinking I was like, man, I thought I was healed from that. I really thought I did. And then he wrote me back and he was talking about the intentionality of healing and healing is intentional when we were uh healing um some kind of weapons around intention, being intentional about my healing, being intentional about my healing.

And it really got me thinking that really got me thinking because I was sitting there thinking like, yo have I been intentional about it? And I started thinking and I realized um I may not have been as intentional. No, I have not been as intentional as I could have been. Should have been and would have been um well I can't say would have been, I'm gonna take that out. Should have been and could have been. So tonight I was riding and this is totally different. I'm telling you I'll tie it all together tonight. I was riding for those who do not know I door dash in uh my spare time, I guess you'd call it spare time a door dash and I was outdoor dashing. Um today in today's was about, well yesterday was valentine's day. So I was door dashing during valentine's day. Now I want to say something, I want to put this to screen right here. What I'm about to say is not because it was valentine's day, okay. I was not said because I'm not in a relationship, okay, that is not it.

So I'm riding and as I'm riding, uh I start to process a lot of different things and I'm processing what he had told me a couple of days ago and as I'm processing it, I stopped at a restaurant and I sat in the car and uh there's a song I listen to That helps get me through missing my mother sometimes and my best friend for those who don't know, my best friend died when I was like 22 years old. Okay, I don't talk a lot about that. Maybe I should, but there's a song that I listened to and my grandmother and grandfather uh passed when I was in what's a teenager, I think, Yeah, I think it was like a teenager, they passed away. So the song kind of helps me get through that the spot Carolyn Ramsey called, I'm Ok tonight, some kind of way.

I had my um one of my playlists playing that I listen to when I'm riding and it was mostly I think it was country music tonight because I love Tennessee whiskey. I kinda listen to all genres of music, but tonight was like a country um night and I was listening to Tennessee whiskey. I listen to a couple of times because I love that song, you know, I love the meaning of the song. Just the whole vibe of that song, but after Tennessee whiskey went off for about the fifth time after I played it, that song came on the radio, I'm okay and I always sing it and tonight it hit me harder though and I'm crying, I'm driving and crying, try and deliver these people food and I'm just crying, the tears are just flowing down my eyes and for the first time I realized my dad's goes and I realized I hadn't processed that I hadn't processed the reality that both of my parents have transitioned um and I've talked about it before but I had not internalized, so I um went off about an hour or so, I just was tears just flowing, just crying, just getting it all out and I encourage you ever get it out, do not hold anything in everything that you need to get out, get it out.

And as I was getting it out, I begin to talk to the creator and as I was talking to the creator, I was talking to him about relationships okay, and if you follow me on instagram, you probably think that I'm obsessed with relationships, but I'm intentional about everything that I do. I've been posting a lot about relationships for me and the reason why um I post a lot about relationships for me is because for years I have deprived myself of relationships. I think I talked about this on the podcast before, how I'm a socially awkward person, I'm laughing about it, but I'm a socially awkward person because sometimes I haven't built the muscle up now here, what I'm saying, if you think about working out and with how working out builds muscle physically, there are some emotional muscles that have to be built up, there are some psychological muscles that need to be built up and there are some social muscles that need to be built up and the reality is as it relates to relationships.

There's a lot of muscle that I did not allow to be built up. I had a conversation again, I think it was with my sean pasta again, where I was telling him that I realized I want to say this before I'm going to get this Disclaimer. My family has never shown or said anything negative to my face about my uh Mhm mm hmm. Me being a gay man, Okay, I was trying to look for the politically correct term, but I'm just not feeling it right now because early in the morning they've never given me that a vibe. Okay. Not that I can think of, okay. However, however, I kind of called myself being proactive and in my pro activity, I just did not date around them.

As a matter of fact when uh you can go back to the first few episodes of the podcast, season one, I talk about my marriage and I talk about my divorce. Um but when I decided to get into a relationship, get in a relationship, I separated myself from my family and the reason why I did it was because um I did this a lot with a lot of people. When I came out, I didn't give people an opportunity not to reject me. I just want to self preservation mood and fled. So when I came back to my family, I came back to my family as a divorcement. Um still gay. Okay. However, I didn't go door to explore. You know, I was now exploring, I just, hey, I tell people all the time, I'm just, I'm caught up in my work, I'm caught up in ministry.

I'm caught up in what God has called Created and designed me to do ***. Mm I got lost some sponsorship there. Anyway, I told myself, you know, like yo um one of the reasons you have it dated anyone or allow yourself to pursue anyone is because you didn't want to face that with your family, your familiar, you didn't want to I want to make sure this is okay. You didn't want to have to to put yourself out there like that as you know, support air quotes. Um and all of that started running through my mind, all of that, started running through my mind and I started thinking about relationships and I started thinking about myself and uh some of the people that I talked to on a regular basis and some of the people that I tend to attract in my Dm my God, jesus someone entertaining something.

I don't some some I will entertain and some I won't you hear me? There are some that have said I've entertained them that are liars and I have receipts to show that you are alive because I'm a keeper of receipts as it relates to the D. M. S. Okay. But um I realized that a lot of times the people that I entertained, I was only entertaining because I knew nothing would become of it, nothing will become of it. Now you said Cliff, you were talking about the loss of your father, you're talking about your mom, your best friend, your grandmother, now you're talking about relationships. Yeah. It all ties in together, It all ties in together because it took all of those emotions to build up to cause me to get to the space where I just let it all out baby let it all out. So I am, it was really sitting and just thinking you know about the people that I entertain now I'm not attacking anybody.

I want everybody to understand that the people that I entertain, they are um beautiful individuals. They we're just gonna keep it moving cause I'm not done. I want to keep it asserting my podcast asserting certain rating are certain rating. Am I saying that we're right, certain yeah, certain rating. Um, but those that I entertain, I entertain for entertainment value, um or entertainment reasons and you know, most of them like that because that's what they want. They want that type of entertainment, but who I am, that's not enough for me. You know, um that's just not enough for me. It's not enough for me.

And I really was, I've been processing this thing for a while. Okay. I've been processing it for a while and I realized that until I was willing to face the reality of I do want a relationship and I'm able to say that and I'm putting this on here for accountability purposes that before I put that energy out or if I never put that energy out, I'm not gonna attract anything that wants to relate. Well, not anything. Anyone. Well, let me say this a man because some of y'all women, I don't know what it is. I just want you to understand. You do not have the antidote. It's an antidote. I think that's what it is. You do not have that to turn a gay man straight. I, I know that might be a fantasy of yours. I know you might think that you can pray and travail and do all of that. I want to encourage you to value you enough to leave the gay men alone.

Let the gay men be, get pastors pastors, Pastors, pastors, I encourage you. Leave them alone. Leave them a little stop force encouraging them to marry women. Now, some of you might say it ain't forcing because they got they can, they got a mind of their own, they can make a decision on their own, but you can be so persuasive and so influential in somebody's life that you will end up encouraging to them to do something they know they should never do in the first place. Some are brave enough to break free for me. It took me a minute. Yo it took me a minute to stop trying to live my life according to other people's expectations. Now hear me out. Hear me out because I I already know how that's gonna go, but I don't even care anymore. I'm going to tell my story. My story is going to be told. If you misinterpreted, that's on you.

You chose to because if you want to know, then you will come to the source. All right, Okay. Or you'll seek the source and the source will tell you. But you we don't seek sources like that. We never mind cliff. Here we go. Anyway. Um, don't give gay men all tomatoes. Don't give them all tomatoes because your feelings might get hurt. I'm telling you now because people are understanding true freedom And it is not true freedom to attempt to create somebody yourself. And that's what happens a lot of times in church culture, uh you try to create or recreate somebody as somebody you wanted to be. I talk about that in my book a little bit and I'm doing a rewrite of the book as well guys and it's gonna be, it's gonna be far, I'm telling you. Um but I talk about that a little bit.

I talk about how mentors have to be careful that they are not infusing infectious identities into individuals where uh you didn't get to live out your dream. So now you're trying to force them your dream upon them and now they're becoming many versions of you. Now I was blessed with with an apostle. If you hear me talk, if you hear him talk, you will know that. You know I was there, you will know that. You will know it. Okay. But you I'm not walking around trying to be a little him. Okay. I matter of fact, I'm not trying to be nobody. I struggled with that before because I used to when I first started in ministry, I'm not a hooper and I can help a little bit. I'm not a hooper. Well, sorry, all mom ESPN notified me or something. I am not a hooper at all. Okay. You know what I'm saying? That's just not me, that's not my flow, that's not my style. I used to play like that when I pray sometimes it kind of sounds like I'm pooping, but when I teach that's not how it is, I always wanted to be a teacher because a preacher because I was like, yo people get high, people get excited, but when the teacher come it's like people don't want that and that's how I program my mind to think.

And when people would receive the teachings, I couldn't even receive the fact that they received the teaching because I programmed my mind to believe you aren't receiving nothing. Y'all want these preachers so that I used to want to be a preacher. I used to want to preach like this person preach like that person. Well who do I sound like who do I look like when I'm preaching, why did that? I was trying to figure man, listen, hold on. And one day I realized cliff, you're you yo you are you just be you homie, that's all you gotta do your enough, you are now. And that's that's even in relationships as well because that's another hold back for me and relationships hold on, blow crooked there, okay hold back for me and relationships too because I remember a space in my life where I was now I encourage you to always work on you and improve you and being the best version of you that you can be but make sure that in you, being you and you being the best version of you, you're not losing you and I know with me, there were times I found myself in situation ships and even in relationships where I was losing me because I began to realize that the person that I was with did not want me but I can't put that on them.

I can't put that on them. I can't put that on them. Thank you cliff. I can't put that on them Because the reality is I didn't show them me in the beginning. Now that was a situation I did show me in the beginning a whole nother situation because sometimes you show you in the beginning and people think they can change you to make you to be who they want you to be. And the reality is they can't change you. And I used to do the same thing. I thought that I could me being as awesome as I am and as great as I am and and as encouraging and as strengthening and empowering that I am and as loving as I am, I can make somebody want me man. And and then here's the thing too. If you don't want you, why do you think somebody else is gonna want you? Mm Because see I used to I used to be one of the biggest Lars I don't hear yo let me tell you, I could convince myself that the lie I was telling was the truth and I would have been there to experience it with myself.

I was just that good. I was a compulsive liar. I was an impulsive liar. I just loved man, and I would create stories about me because I just didn't feel like I was interesting enough I was and I didn't feel like that Yo, I didn't feel like it. I didn't feel like it. I didn't feel like it. I would even in my mind create scenarios wrapped around relationships because I just didn't feel like I was enough for the person that I was with and the reality was I wasn't enough for them. I wasn't enough of them. Because because because because because because because because because, because because, because, because, because because we both was lying about who we are. No, I'm not talking about any specific person. So all y'all run tell that's because I'm telling y'all, sometimes I get phone calls cliff. You said such and such on your pocket. Listen, if you're gonna listen and run, tell that, can you at least give me a five star review on uh, what is it on Apple podcast or if you watch the video Youtube run my Youtube up.

Don't just go tell them what I said. Tell them to subscribe to my channel as well. I'm trying to get to at least 1000 by the end of this year. So I just need you to help me run it up while you were out running your mouth. Can you run my number's up baby. That's all I really want to know. Okay, so yeah, so we just was lying to each other. Or lying to ourselves and then the other one being forced to deal with the lie that we're telling ourselves. So I really had to come to this space, as I said, to understand that I block, block out a lot of relationships. Um, because there's times and moments, I still don't feel like I am enough, like the stuff that I'm interested in, I'm not interested in a lot of stuff that a lot of people are interested in. And when I say a lot of people, I've met, a lot of people like ma, my shade. Yeah, Michaela, I'm not interested in some of the things and I remember growing up being like that, like, it was just some of the things I'm just not interested.

And, you know, I remember one time, yo I'm telling y'all now, don't make assumptions about people that you say that, you know, I remember one time, it was a basketball tournament or something and I didn't want to play. Now, I told this story before, I don't know if I told it all here when I was younger, I was made to play basketball. I personally feel that they thought that uh making me play basketball would alter the trajectory of my life, some of y'all catch that some of y'all catch that a little bit later. But I really thought they thought that that was gonna alter the trajectory of my life. So I was made to play and I hated it. Do you hear me? I hated it. I hated I hated it. And I love watching it. I love to shoot around. I love to play, you know, a little pick up game. But I hated playing it from an organized sport perspective because I was made to do it.

I just didn't want to do it. Well, it was a mentor of mine one time. Uh uh I told somebody else that I was lazy because I didn't want to play basketball, but the reality was, y'all don't want to play the sport I want to play. I'm anybody know me, I'm a baseball. That's that's anybody that grew up with me knows that that's what cliff was. I lived, breathed and that was my only thing that mattered to me. That was my first love outside of my familiar, my first love was baseball, that was my boyfriend and my girlfriend. Yeah, it would have been my girlfriend back then because I was afraid to say I was gay back then. So yeah, it would have been my girlfriend back then. So uh Yeah, like just don't make judgments about people because sometimes we just think so crazy stuff instead of taking the time to find out.

Okay, what is this person really interested in? You just assumed that the person's lazy because they don't want to play basketball. No, I don't want to play basketball. I was made to play. I hated it, okay I hated playing. So no I don't want to play. Also I want to say this and I'm getting all of this out. This is kind of a I want to encourage, I did this somewhere else. If you're going to be a mentor, a big brother um big sister, whatever you want to label yourself as please make sure that you're not talking. And even I'm gonna talk about from a spiritual level to spiritual coverings, make sure that you have enough decency that if you are going to talk about the person that you're mentoring or that is your son or your daughter or whatever you're calling them however you identify them as your mentee.

Oh if you're gonna talk about them in a negative sense make sure they're not able to hear your conversation. one of the most um God is so good. one of the most hurtful. Yes. Yet healing things for me was hearing multiple mentors talk about me and then hearing other people in the room defend me versus the mentor being the one like after other people were talking about being the mentor, defending me, I could understand it but yeah and I'm not gonna lie. It took me little while get used to even oh man, I'm gonna stop right there, I'm gonna say this real talk, I'm laughing but I'm very serious if you are going to talk about them, please do it not around them or to somebody that's going to get back to them.

Um because there and I must say to you, mentees exercise wisdom don't be so needy all the time. And what I mean by needy is and this, this all comes through healing and making healthy choices and I haven't always been in that space and that's why I'm encouraging you to do it too. I keep your eyes and your ears open because sometimes people's behaviors show us more than the words that they say, You know, wait a minute, y'all let my hands be asking this whole time. Yo trifle yacht. I just washed them before I got on. I thought I'd put lotion on, but y'all could have told me of. That's crazy. There you are talking about me behind my back. No. Yeah, but if you're gonna do that, please please please Oh yeah, Mentees keep your eyes open. Don't be so desperate to fit in that you will allow anything to go.

Don't do that baby don't do that. God is not going to kill you if you leave. Okay, I just want you to know that God is not going to kill you if you leave. Especially if God has been dealing with you concerning it. Okay. Um yeah. And I realized in my personal life as well, there are relationships that I've rejected because of, you know, my framework is I'm teaching all framework guys in the transformation center uh on the transformation center facebook page visit www dot the transformation center dot life, get the first edition of it. I'll be back next week with another edition of it. But I realized you know how I allow that stuff that I said I was healed from to keep me locked up baby locked up.

They won't let me it won't let me out. I don't know if any of y'all ever been locked up baby, but I've been locked up for real baby and it is not a comfortable situation at all. So if it's not comfortable to be physically locked up, why do we allow ourselves to be emotionally spiritually psychologically locked up when we have the opportunity to free ourselves to how do I got to see this all that come to buy B Farid, That's why Seoul your head past the head but seriously don't allow yourself to be so needy and so desperate and wanting. So and I know I'm going to tell you this, I know what it's like to search and search and search and search and you think that you fit in here and you think that you fit in there and you make an adjustment to yourself here to fit in and an adjustment here to foot it fit in and it feels like a minor adjustment and yet everybody still seems to fit in but you don't fit in there.

I know what that is like. I know what it's like. I know what it's like to be told. Or you don't fit in because of you. Eventually. If you just sit back and embrace this thing you'll fit in. I've been. I know what all of that is like. But one thing about it very simple. You cannot fit a square peg into a round hole. Nor can you fit a round peg into a square hole. You cannot do it. You can not do it at all. Tonight. I got my release. I did. Mm hmm. Mhm. It really hit me. You know that my father is is gone. And now my mother and my father uh both have both transitions. Mm hmm. I'm glad tonight happen. Very glad tonight happened because it took getting all of that out to be able to embrace everything that I need to embrace.

And now I can communicate or vibrate at the frequency necessary for covenant relationship. See we Uh huh. I teach a lot about covenants I do. But the reality is my patterns and behaviors were attracting everything that contradicted covenant. And I'm putting this on here too as an accountability for myself. So I make sure that when that not that lack of covenant attempts to contact me probably when I get right off this record that I don't lower my frequency that I keep vibrating here. If I keep vibrating here before. I know it. Oh if I vibrate at that frequency consistently. Mhm. Than that which need. Which is desired and needed will show up, or may have already showed up, My eyes would just be open to it.

You feel me because I'm vibrating at a new frequency. And as I vibrate at that frequency consistently in all areas of my life, I begin to see different things manifest in my life. So my encouragement to you is let it all go. Y'all I say it all the time. And you guys have been with me throughout different stages of my life, where I've let certain things go, but whatever is necessary to let go now that you are attempting to hold on to. I talked about this the other night. I'm not talking about people. Places and things. I'm talking about patterns, places and things patterns, places and things. Principles, places and things. That's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about letting all of that stuff go empty in that knapsack, empty in that knapsack so that you can embrace everything that you need to embrace. What now, what you gonna do with it now? What are you gonna do now? That's what I'm talking to myself.

What now cliff? What now? Yo you gotta man up or what you're gonna do? You're gonna continue in the same way that you've been doing or you gonna realize your value and your worth and not allow yourself to settle for anything less than covenant. You know, I don't have no problem. Put my business out on front Street, but it all comes down to what I really want. And like I said, feeling good for a moment. It feels good for that moment. But what then, what now? What then, what now? Mhm. And that's what I asked you all tonight. What now? We're about to take the podcast to the next level, but before we took it to the next level, I had to drop this. You know, I really didn't have to drop this. Uh Yeah, yeah. So, I'm on a journey of falling in love with me, even memorial, because like I said, there are some qualities and imperfection and flogs within me.

And sometimes I struggle a lot with y'all, you know, I'm not always as confident as some of you might believe me to be or have seen me to be. It's a work in progress for me now. Have I come a long way? Hell yeah, let me tell y'all have I come a long way? Yes, I have. But wait, I'm not gonna say wait until you see, I'm telling you to see it now. Yeah, C mail See now what what is unfolding? C Mail? What is unfolding and now be the unfolding in your own life. Listen, thank you for listening on tonight. If you enjoyed the podcast, let me know, y'all hit the love button or like button the star button, write us a review, email me, text me, whatever.

Just let me know that, you know, this is making a difference. I appreciate all the feedback we're excuse me, we are receiving currently and I just can't wait to love on some more of the feedback that you guys are going to give. I want you to text well I want you to text tax relationships too. 30-648554430-6485544. Sometimes in life too, you can begin to hate. Excuse me. Sometimes in life you can begin to hate the very thing. That is an essential factor of what you were created to do. one of the things that I've always been is a relationship expert And it has never been because I could keep one. Yeah, but I can trace it all the way back to school um and giving people relationship advice and helping them work through their relationships and helping them keep their relationships uh and I joke when I say not being able to keep my mind but I thank God that I wasn't able to keep some of you know what I'm saying, All of them really all of them because you know we were only designed to teach each other something and I've been in relationships with some great people that have taught me some very valuable lessons.

Um But yeah, you say that all the time, but I know now I can keep one but it doesn't I don't have to work to keep it. I don't have to work to keep it. I just have to be me within it, allowing them to be them within it and then us being us with that. That that makes sense. Alright, so listen tax relationships to 30 to 6485544. if you want to reach out you need a coaching session, visit www dot clinton Pettijohn No coach Cliff Burton dot com www dot coach Clifton dot com. If you want to visit my website to find out more about the services we offer www dot clinton Pettijohn dot com. You can find the book there as well. Don't forget get your copy of from stagnation to transformation. Alright. Subscribe to our Youtube page. If you don't listen to us on Youtube, whatever platform you listen to us all make sure you're subscribed to that platform so you receive notification as soon as the episode drop, make sure if you do listen on Youtube you're helping us run them numbers up.

Run them numbers up, run them numbers up. Y'all gotta get some new dance moves. I can't dance anyway but I'm I can dance a little bit but I can't have to be in an altered state. Their mind anyway. Random numbers up baby. Okay, I appreciate you, I love you. Listen you are amazing. You are wonderful. You are intelligent, you are brilliant, You are anointed. You are educated. You are empowered. You are activated and now I release you to go out and do all that you've been created purpose and designed to do as I always say, create a great day walk with purpose and by all means execute your vision peace. Mhm Yeah, today is a great day to start your own podcast. Whether you're looking for a new marketing channel, I have a message you want to share with the world or just think it would be fun to have your own talk show, podcasting is an easy and expensive and fun way to expand your reach online.

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S3 E19: Freedom through Decisions!
S3 E19: Freedom through Decisions!
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