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S1 E29: HOW SUPPORTIVE OF YOU ARE YOU?

by Clifton Pettyjohn
February 2nd 2020
00:28:25
Description

In this episode, purpose strategist, author, transformation coach, radio host and spiritual leader Clifton Pettyjohn discusses the importance of (1) supporting your own dreams, aspirations, goals, ... More

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What's up everybody? My name is Cliff and you are listening to the What now podcast. That's right. The what now podcast where we threw conversation discuss ways that we can effectively address life's most difficult moments, so sit back, relax and enjoy tonight's episode. What's up everybody? My name is Cliff and you are listening to the What now podcast. You already know what now podcast is where we have conversations about effectively addressing life's most difficult moments and those moments I put air quotes around that were difficult because sometimes what we view or have identified as difficult are simply defining moments. They were defining moments in our lives where we are connected or we clash with purpose and as we begin to clash with purpose, there's a maturity that flows outside of us that sometimes we don't even realize is inside of us for my life experiences that produces greater content or greater purpose in our lives.

So again, thank you for joining me. Thank you for your support. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. I cannot express how much I really appreciate each and every one of your support to learn more about myself and the everything that we're doing with Clifton's Pettijohn, With the ministry. That was crazy. I said with Clifton, Pettijohn, with everything that we're doing with the ministry, everything that we're doing business wise, coaching services with the radio show. Even with the podcast, you can visit www dot clinton Pettijohn dot com. All right. You're gonna find everything you need to know right there. But let's hop into the subject on tonight. I want to talk very candidly on tonight about the subject of support. Okay, now, those who listen to the show, I do want to say this, these are not where these sessions are not where I go in depth. Uh, statistically or anything like that.

Um, if you want that, you can visit our, attend one of my webinars or seminars or workshops, you can book me baby book me and we can have those type of conversations, basically what happens with this show and stuff pops in my head whether I'm laying down, walking around, sitting thinking, having a conversation with someone else. There are subjects that pop in my head and as they pop in my head, I begin to think about those things and I ponder upon those things and as I ponder upon those things, I think whoa, this might be cool to share. So that's the same thing with tonight's subject. I really, I have a lot of conversations about this subject, a lot of conversations, I have a lot of conversations with entrepreneurs about it. I have a lot of conversations with those who are in ministry about it. I have a lot of conversations with friends and family about this because I believe that this is something that is very important to all of us, even though sometimes we may not always express that is important to us.

Some of us have built a defense mechanism and we say no, I don't need it, I don't need this, I don't need this now, there are some that have gotten to that place in life where that's not a top priority in their lives, but there are some who haven't quite got that all depends on how you're wired as well, you know, it depends on how you were brought up, how you were wired, even how you were created, you know, it all ties into it, but what we're going to talk about tonight, we're gonna talk about support, okay, Support S. U. P P. O. R. T. Support. Support. Support, have you ever felt not supported? Like come on, let's raise your hands, I can see you guys out there, I'm I'm looking in the, in the spirit, I'm gonna be deep and profound. I'm playing guys, I can't see you but raise your hands if you are a person that has time, you felt as if you were not supported, I've been there, but you know what else I realized too, I realized that sometimes it wasn't that I wasn't receiving support, but I wasn't receiving it in the way that I desired it.

And sometimes if we've become so close minded, we will be, we will only sleep support in one way and if we don't see it in other ways, will think we're not being supportive when we're actually being supported. It's just not in the way that we desire. That's a that's kind of like, you know, learning your love language many times when we don't know what I love languages and our partner doesn't know what our love languages, even though in their mind they may be expressing their love towards us. We don't see it as love because they're not speaking our love language and we all have a support language as well. Some people view support from a financial standpoint and guys and business and ministry, uh, we need that financial support. You know, that is a blessing. That is a blessing, but the more that you grow and develop, you will understand that sometimes the financial support doesn't come from those that you would expect the financial support to come from. Sometimes the ones that you want to support you financially will be there to cheer you on.

Sometimes the ones you want to cheer you on will be there to support you financially, you have to learn everyone's role in your life. And one of the things that I've done before is I tried to make somebody else's role, what I wanted it to be versus what it actually was. Now, we could talk relationship wise with that too. How many have been caught up in that before? Relationships? You wanted something different from the type of relationship that you had with a person. You try to force that relationship to go in that direction. It seemed to not go in that direction. Now you're mad because you feel as if all they don't want me, but I wanted them and we were heading down this route, we weren't taking time to listen to the route that we actually will hit it down. You know, just something to parallel with relationships through that thing out there for free. Uh stop trying to force something in every area of our life. Stop trying to force something and let it organically be. Some of us are trying to put we're planting seeds uh in in certain areas of our lives and we're throwing a whole bunch of manure manure manure and manure and steroids in that thing too, cause that thing to grow faster.

We wanted to go faster instead of allowing, you know, it to grow organically just from the minorities in our lives. We don't need artificial manure. We have enough manure in our life to produce purpose in our lives. And what I'm saying is that sometimes purpose comes from those situations that that, that are just crazy. I always say that purpose is found in chaos. So allow your manure to organically produce that what you are looking for. And stopped attempting attempting to um what is it called? Stop attempting to develop artificial manure and steroids to call something to develop and grow into what it may not been designed to grow into or would it may have been designed to grow into, but it's just gonna take a little time slow down a little bit, enjoy your life even with success and I well, it seems like I'm all over the place, but just flow with me. Okay, you will be blessed even with success, slow down a little bit, enjoy your process, enjoy your process, enjoy your process.

Many times we miss moments in our process because we're so focused on the end result that we're not enjoying the right now. And I'm not talking about maximizing you now. I've talked about that before on the podcast. So hopefully you listen our listened listened to some former um episodes so that you can hear me talk about the maximizing your now, but let's get back to what we were talking about because y'all just took me all over the place and try to get me to start a whole another subject and I'm not doing that on today. Okay, so here we are. Let's get back to where we were. And we're talking about guys, we're talking about support and we're talking about trying to force support from somebody. Just that just isn't why you're to give us that support. Well, if you don't understand, I've seen them support other people financially and that hurts sometimes. That does her. It hurts when, you know, um you're the one that seems to pour into them, whether you're pouring into them spiritually naturally, financially emotionally, you're putting that time, you're putting that energy, you're putting that reach those resources into them.

And in your mind you're thinking because I'm supporting you here, you're gonna be my number one supporter there. And sometimes that just does not happen. It just does not happen. And you have to look at one or two things one, number one, are you supposed to be supporting to the degree that you're supporting or is there something inside of you that's causing you to over support and then causing you to have greater expectations than you should have? That's number one or number two, is that your role in their life? You have to begin to realize that sometimes some of the things that we do are not connected to our purpose and more connected to our Brokenness. They're more connected to our need to be accepted, that more connected to our need to be liked, our need to be wanted. So what we will find ourselves doing is we will exasperate ourselves for individuals and we'll find ourselves in relationship with them. We'll find ourselves in situation ships with them and not even just talking from boyfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, boyfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, husband, husband, whatever your setup is.

But even in life, we will find ourselves doing that because there's something inside of us that's trying to tell us, I need to be healed. I need to be focused on right now. But instead of me wanting to focus on it, I'm gonna exasperate all of my energy on what you have going on. I'm gonna help you build what you have going on. And I'm not going to take the time to give me that support that I need. And I'm glad we want that because that's the type of support I'm talking about tonight. I'm not talking about your support for everybody else and that is important. It is important that we learn to support each other. This is Black History Month. I'm not a racist person at all. I believe in supporting everybody, but for the sake of Black History Month and this is something I say all year. I do believe that we need to learn how to support ourselves our kind a lot better. We need to learn how to support our kind a lot better into our kind.

We need to make sure that the content, the product and the services that we are putting out are done so in excellence and excellence and excellence. We have to make sure that we're not trying to produce quality over quantity, over quality, it must be a quality that produces greater quantity. Okay, so it has to be something we have to examine all around. Okay? We have to examine that thing all around. So I do believe in support, I believe in being there for your brothers, for your sisters, for your mama, your daddy, your family, your friends and your associates, you know, fellow entrepreneurs, fellow authors, I'm very big on supporting authors. Why? Because I'm an author, you know, um entrepreneur ministry, every area you we need to be there to support, but when we arrive to support, we need to make sure that we have supported ourself enough so that we can be a greater support to others, because when you begin to really support yourself, support your dreams, support your vision, support your gifts, support your talents, support your abilities.

Then when you show up, you will over exasperate yourself or you won't find yourself supporting in the wrong areas. Some people are frustrated because they feel that I supported them, I gave them my all. Were you supposed to give them your all? Was it healthy for you to give them your all now I know because we we usually take the side of the all givers. We take the side of the all givers and you know what? I've been all giver. I have been a all giver and the reality that I had to face when I gave all and it felt like they gave nothing. The reality had to face was you were doing that because you were broken and you didn't want to deal with the Brokenness that was inside of you and heal thy self. You did not want to heal yourself. So you kept pouring out and pouring out and pouring out and pouring out and pouring out and pouring out and emptying yourself to where now you were dry and now you're mad and you're frustrated because you're looking for support from somebody that it was never designed to come from.

Just because you were giving them support. That you were never designed to get to them because you were broken. And your Brokenness was not because of anybody else. Your Brokenness? Yes. It was connected to circumstances and situations that happened in your life. But the Brokenness that you were experienced and then the Brokenness that you're displaying now has become whose fault that somebody said, uh, no, no. My uncle. Because when I was in 10th grade, they pushed me out of that chair and they embarrassed me in front of everybody. Okay baby. That was in 10th grade. And it and it really was hurt, hurt you. It was paying for. I get it. I really do. I'm not downplaying it. But baby you're 75 years old now. You're 75 years old. That happened in 10th grade when you're like 15 by now, you ought to have allowed yourself now, hear what I said, allowed yourself to heal. Some of you won't even allow yourself to hear, you won't support yourself enough to allow yourself to heal because you don't understand, You don't understand.

And I'm talking to myself because these are the conversations I have with myself, I have these conversations with myself because you just don't understand. Oh I understand. And I also understand that I sometimes don't want to take the responsibility that I need to take as it relates to my personal healing and wholeness development, growth, and maturity. There's no reason why we are 75 years old and I'm not 75 I'm 40 but it's no reason why I'm 40 years old and I haven't allowed myself to heal from something that happened to me when I was five Now I understand there are some very serious issues in life and I understand Cliff. It's just not that easy. It's not but there are resources that are out there that we can take advantage of if you are 40 years old or even in your twenties go to therapy or get the help that you need talk through these things. Stop beating yourself up, stop punishing yourself.

Excuse me, stop doing all of those things that are negative as it relates to your purpose and begin to support you begin to support your wholeness, your health in all core areas of your life. You deserve it. You deserve to behold. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be appreciated. But the reality is, And tell you allow yourself to love yourself to appreciate yourself, to support yourself, to build your hopes to build your dreams to do all of those things and tell you, allow yourself to do it. Nothing will be enough. It will never be enough. So, tonight, today, I'm talking about support and I'm not talking about external support. I'm talking about internal support. How much are you internally supporting your dreams? How much are you internally supporting your services? How much are you internally supporting the ministry and the purpose that God has placed in your life and what are you doing with your free time?

This is one of the things that I really hit myself on. I'm hitting myself hard on this in 2020. It's a month in and I'm really still hammering on myself because what are we doing with our downtime? Well, because I just can't seem to get motivated man, you don't understand, like every time I go to get motivated, it just Hello, I'm talking to myself guys. The reality is you just were not sold out enough to what we've been created to do. Yes, you might be sold out to it a little bit. You get excited about it, especially if somebody else talks about it. If the only time you're really excited about what you do or the services you provide or your ministry or your business or you is when somebody else talks about it, that's not a good sign. That's a sign that we have to begin to search within ourselves and begin to do some healing processes within ourselves when we can get excited about what we have been designed and called to do when nobody else is around.

Nobody else is around. When nobody has purchased the book, nobody has signed up for the webinar. Nobody has signed up for the seminar. Nobody signed up for the conference. Nobody signed up for a talk. Nobody signed up to what we've been called to do were the only one listening to our podcast. We're the only ones watching our Youtube channel. And some people say, well, if that's the case, you just need to shut it all down. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no baby, no baby. Sometimes you just have to connect with it enough. So that now when you put that thing out, nobody is experiencing the hesitation in your voice or the hesitation and the atmosphere that is coming across the airwaves as you are speaking. Sometimes there's a hesitancy in our voice. Sometimes there's a hesitancy and what we, what we are presenting to people and we we don't even realize that sometimes now there are some of us, we just aren't, I'm not a person that is a, a very good verbal, I don't express myself verbally very well.

Sometimes I don't, I really don't, but you can still hear the passion in what I do there. Sometimes I still get nervous in front of crowds. I chose all y'all just I get nervous sometimes sitting behind the microphone in this empty room just talking to myself sometimes, but I'm passionate about what I do. I believe in what I do and I'm dealing with the parts of me that doesn't believe in it enough to invest the time to energy, the resources that needs it to uh needs me to invest in it so that it can scale the way it's supposed to scale my investment right now to it may be the reason why it has not scaled, I may only be investing and it's not, may only be I realized that I've only invested enough energy for it to produce sporadically for to produce sporadically, you you feel me you get what I'm saying for to produce part time, sometimes we want full time benefits, but we're putting for putting for a part time effort.

So one of the things I know what as it relates to my purpose is that I'm refocusing myself or focusing myself on putting in the effort that produces what it is that I desire. So today I want you to become your number one supporter. Nobody should support you more than you support yourself. Nobody, nobody, nobody do. You feel me now, that's going to require you to get a little selfish and we've given selfishness, a negative connotation. Well Cliff, why do you feel I should be selfish? Because if you're not working on you, you're not actually helping other people not to the full capacity that you could help other people. The greatest thing we can do for people is to to address what we need to address inside of us so that when we're in their face or they call on us for help were present in whole or working towards wholeness in order to be able to support them or the greatest thing that we can do is and this is what wholeness will teach us when somebody calls us to support and we are not the ones that are able to support them either at that moment or what it is they need to be supported with.

We can tell them, listen, I know you need to support, I'm here for you, I'm gonna always support you. However, I can't support you in that capacity, I may know somebody that can support you in that capacity. However, I can't support you in that capacity right now because I'm just not either called or design or purpose to support you in that capacity and that's what wholeness does. Wholeness. Our journey for wholeness because I don't want you think it's just puff, it's just gonna happen. We we we journey to wholeness. We go on a journey to hold us, but our journey to wholeness will help us filter some of the things that join us. Sometimes we're so drained when it's time for us to support ourselves. Because everything we've done isn't connected to our purpose, When it's connected to your purpose, it will not drain you. It will not drain you. It will energize you and encourage you to fine tune your gift to sharpen your gift to to to do whatever it takes for you to position yourself, where you need to be your drained, you're tired, you're wore out.

Your burn out. The reason why is because sometimes our body is trying to tell us, I need you to minister to me, I need you to support me. And when we don't support our body, when we don't support ourselves in whatever area of of wholeness or whatever area of health, we don't support ourselves in our body has a way of requiring it out of us. It has a way of requiring out of us. So instead of us getting to that place where we break down, whether mentally, physically spiritually emotionally, financially cycle lot, whatever way before we get to that place of breaking down. How about we get to that place where we allow ourselves to become our number one supporters and then in turn we will attract the supporters that we need in order to further what it is that's inside of us. And then we can become the supporters that we need to become to one another.

So my encouragement to you today forget about everything else support you. And as you begin to support you, you will begin to see the transformation that you desire and knead and knead and knead and knead in need. Indeed In need In need. Oh yeah. All my fault. My fault. I'm sitting here behind this mike. I was great flow on here, but you're not ready for the music yet. All right. Listen, create a great day walk with purpose and by all means, guys execute your vision be black. Mm Can you identify any areas in your life where stagnation is manifesting Now, I know some of you might say no, I can't. I want us to look at stagnation for what it really is. Some people have identified stagnation as something that's not growing or that's not producing.

I don't believe that stagnation to me, stagnation can also be that yes, we're growing. Yes, we're producing however were growing and producing in a manner that's disrespectful to the purpose and the greatness that resides inside of us. And listen, we all have areas Well, we can identify that we could be doing a lot veteran, There's greater potential in those areas than we are experiencing. And guess what I have a tool that will help you begin to experience transformation in those areas of stagnation in your life. And that tool is called from stagnation of transformation. That's right. That is my book from stagnation of transformation. So I want you to hit over to my website www dot clinton petty john dot com. I want you to hit there. I want you to hit the transformation tab there. You're gonna find a free preview of my book. That's right.

A free preview of my book and I promise you after you read the preview, you're gonna want to invest in your personal transformation through purchasing the books or get hit over there, purchased the book. Let me know you purchased it. Here's what I always say guys, if you purchased the book you read the book you apply the principles in your life and yet you still are stagnant in the areas that you are applying them to and you're not experiencing any transformation and you can prove to me that you have applied these principles. I will give you a 100% refund. That's right. A 100% refund. Why? Because I believe in the application of the principles that are outlined in this book. So again visit www dot clinton Pettijohn dot com and purchase your copy of from stagnation to transformation mm

S1 E29: HOW SUPPORTIVE OF YOU ARE YOU?
S1 E29: HOW SUPPORTIVE OF YOU ARE YOU?
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