OnTheCooL (OTC)

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by Alicia Mitchell
July 29th 2022
This episode digs deep into what it takes to be vulnerable and transparent not only with yourself but others.--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast.
So now we're on episode two and it's been a long, long time coming. Um and for me, I think it's just because I've been dealing with lots of loss and grief And I have to be in a good place to give good energy to others. So it's not to say that I am in the most perfect place to present this, but I think the title of this episode is also enough for me to do it. So season three, episode two will be called vulnerability and transparency. So this is one that I'm just going to freestyle and able to allow my emotions to spill over into the safe place of my podcast. Um so we're gonna get down straight to it and I missed you guys. I hope you miss me too. I'm always thinking of you and I always love the energy and the support that my podcast still does and it rose on autopilot.

So what is vulnerability? Vulnerability is to me is like nakedness being exposed, bringing out parts of yourself that you shy away from, that. You normally will not bring to the fore forefront because of fear of being judged. But you know, the root word of vulnerability is being vulnerable. So you have this like being open, being exposed. So that's part of what I'm going to talk about and relate to how I'm dealing with that issue. The second part of this episode is called transparency. So when I think of transparency, I think of something that I can see through, It's transparent. There's the root word, it's something that is visible, I'm able to make it out. Um but by the naked eye and and it also goes back to being vulnerable, Like being transparent is being open and honest.

So that's another part of this episode that I'm gonna dive into. So let's just get right into it. So for me to be vulnerable, I come from a household where my emotions were not displaced, not openly encouraged. So vulnerability to this day is really, really hard for me because I'm a very eccentric person. I'm very compassionate and sometimes I can be overwhelming or overbearing when I reveal my transparency along with my vulnerability. So what does it mean to be vulnerable? Like what does that look like? So basically vulnerability can bubble up in different ways. You have some people that are just super honest, they tell it like it is, they're always expressing their feelings and their emotions and they're just vulnerable and they really don't care who they tell.

And sometimes, you know, they feel a little bit too much, you know, the vulnerability and transparency. I don't need to know all that. And then the opposite side of the spectrum when it can be like as far as a negative notation is like they are telling you things that are not only their vulnerabilities for someone else's. So it's kind of uncomfortable and these two words are very uncomfortable for certain people that are not able to express their emotions fully or like have them translate into vulnerability. So if you are used to not speaking up for yourself, living your truth being authentic and being able to share your emotions because of being fear of being judged or being chastised for them in the past or just being labeled emotional, then it's hard for you to open up to people and let them know. And like I said, it can bubble up. So as far as, and they call it the microwave effect.

Like when the microwave hit zero and I think it's done, it explodes. It's kind of like you're holding things in and you can't take it anymore and you're able to just, it just bubbles out. It just explodes. And it's like an outpour of emotions and vulnerability and transparency, which in turn that's why it will become overwhelming and overbearing for someone else on the opposite end is because they're not used to you expressing yourself. And this is not to say that you don't need to sometimes that's what it takes. We have people like therapists and psychiatrists, which are some people that are not even related to the situation. And by law they cannot tell what you're being vulnerable and transparent about. So it's more encouraging to use these type of people in this profession, um to talk to about these things because guess what? It's really just getting it off your chest. And that's what we really need to do. Being vulnerable and being transparent is just getting things off your chest and you can do that with friends that you feel safe with.

That will hold your secrets. You can do that with family, You can do that with your church members or your past or like I said, a psychiatrist or counselor or anything. People of that profession that are encouraged you to allow your emotions. But the first thing that you really have to do is recognize what you're feeling. So in order for you to translate your vulnerability and transparency, you have to figure out what am I feeling, what is causing this emotion to be spared upon me. That is blocking me from being able to share my truth. So that's the hard part is being able to do that and trusting So trust goes hand in hand with vulnerability and transparency because not only do you need to trust others with this, you gotta trust yourself and sometimes we don't trust ourselves to be vulnerable. Sometimes we don't trust ourselves to be transparent and a lot of grief will come with that some things that I've been doing so since I've been grieving so much, I'm really trying to pinpoint what emotion is attached to the grief for the situation that is causing so much grief in my life that I'm not able to be transparent and be vulnerable to you.

And this is what this podcast is all about. So me having this podcast on self improvement and personal personal empowerment, I have to be vulnerable. I have to be transparent. This is a podcast all about emotion. I'm trying to improve oneself. I'm trying to empower oneself. And the only way I can do that is by being vulnerable and transparent. So let's go to transparency. So think of the thing at school, the transparency where you the projector. So you they used to put the little papers down and it will pop up on the projector screen. Think about it. So when they put these little papers down, they're really tiny, they're really small, you can't make out really what it is, but when I put it on this projector uh it magnifies the transparency magnifies.

So think about this, so your emotions when you are being open magnified. So that's the scary part for people is putting yourself out there first because like I said, you fear of being judged. Ultimately, you have to not really deny rejection, just know it's there, but feel better about getting these things out into the open once and for all, whether it will stare up something with somebody or whether it will close out something that's been lingering. So what I noticed with grief is it will never go away. And so with grief I have to constantly be vulnerable, I have to constantly be transparent, which is a part of one of my episodes, I did seven stages of grief. So within those seven stages, everything that those stages talk about have everything to do with about being open and allowing yourself grace at the same time, which is another episode of mine.

So season three to me is really everything tying into one. Every other episode that I've ever done in my life is coming back into one. So for me, I thought season three will be this great big jolly time where I would be just ready to share my energy and be really positive and this and that and it actually got dug deeper into some of the issues that I was previously speaking about that, I thought I dealt with by being open, but I barely just scratched the service. So for me this one was a way different tone and I think it's why it's harder for me to do episodes, not that I'm questioning myself, but I want to be able to be open and talk about the things that is really going on and not just what I think people should hear. So that's what we'll be prepping for season three is is it's gonna get really nitty gritty and it's gonna get, I have to get super vulnerable.

I have to get super transparent with my listeners and my star seeds because this is the season where it's the twist, you know what I'm saying? We had our first season which was like an introduction of my feelings. We have, the second season where we hit the ground, we were planting my feet, was planted in my emotion. Season three is me actually revisiting my dark in my life size. And another episode I wanted to do was the ying and the yang um where we explore our darker and lighter, more feminine masculine signs um and how it relates to the ying and the yang energy. So I think that to close this out is we have to allow ourselves vulnerability, even if it's not with others and it's just with ourselves. So if we can't have this talk with others because we feel judged or don't want to put it on a spotlight, sit down with yourself and be vulnerable with yourself and ask yourself, what are you hiding from?

What are you hiding from? What is making you feel the way you feel? Um we have to be transparent with ourselves. So normally if you still want those introverted people don't worry about trying to be an every vert or trying to become an extrovert and sometimes that will never happen. You will have moments where you're like I said like me, I'm thrown into these social situations like my podcast where my extroverted this will come out, my amy vertiginous will come out but I still retreat to their shell because I have a hard time being vulnerable or after I'm vulnerable and transparent, I feel exp exposed so I will go back and retreat and there's nothing wrong with that. It's a fact of not tapping into that energy at all. So openly encourage you to today after listening to this episode to be vulnerable with yourself, if you can't with others to be transparent with yourself with others and kind of express your feel feelings to yourself, navigate them, figure out what is causing you to be so close minded or you to be so closed off, where you don't feel comfortable enough to be able to express their a lot of these things will always go back that I speak of on childhood trauma as being a child, our minds are the most idle.

We learn the most we absorb the most information and able to retain it. And what happens in our childhood would affect us in adulthood everywhere, adolescents everywhere all the way up into you are middle aged and older. So when these things and you're building the character of your emotions as a child and traumatic experience are happening, it will more than shape how vulnerable you are or how transparent. For instance, if you have a parent that continuously shuts down your emotions, then it's gonna be hard for you to open up and that's in relationships. That's in your jobs. That's even the way you communicate with people and your Children yourself. If you have you know, parents that were never transparent as far as one of them were having an affair. Um you learn about other shocking troops in in the meantime and it's just because it became exposed because remember was done in the dark will come to the light.

The transparency wasn't there. So emotions, it's huge on pretty much every episode that I do and being able to patrol them contain them and recognize them. So that's all I have to say about this podcast today on season three, episode two titled vulnerability and transparency. So let's just open ourselves to be invulnerable. Like I said, if it's not with anyone else but yourself, let's be transparent. If it's not with yourself, I mean with others, let it be with yourself because until those things will bleed over, once you learn how to do that for yourself, you're able to kind of maneuver through life and know what to reveal and what to hold back. But sometimes you don't need to reveal it all, I'm gonna be honest and some things don't need to be said and some things do need to be said so we need to figure out what it is that is blocking me from speaking my truth.

Another episode, like I said, all these episodes always will tie into each other that I'm learning. It's a chain link. Remember we used to make those little chain links so they're connected and interconnected with each other. I love you guys and I always miss you guys. We have some really huge things. Remember when I'm really quiet it's not that I'm not doing anything, it's like I'm really working on huge things behind the scenes, we just finished the coca lab with the Nigerian podcast. Grace unlock the girl podcast that will be coming. So very beautiful and smart girl, very courageous and I was elated when she reached out to me to do this collaboration. So I love you, my star seeds Until next time. Stay graceful

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