Welcome to positive minds only podcast, This is your host, ken, Kenneth or Kenny and we're back with another episode. We finally back with another episode and I know it took me a couple of months or almost a couple of months, but I've been taking my break and you all know me, I'm always with my taking breaks and I've been on youtube, so it's not like I haven't been doing nothing. Also, I haven't even told the podcast that I've been doing this cybersecurity school, so that's been taking a lot of my attention. So yeah, I've been pretty busy. I haven't just been sitting around doing nothing and going to school, like I'm going to home school, so it's online, so I don't have to go out my house or do nothing, but it's a lot of information I'm taking in, it's a lot of information that I'm learning and it's taking me back to when I was a kid and like just being so interested in computers, like just late night on the computer, just typing up me going different searching different web sites and all that.
Like I was curious kid, luckily I didn't get in trouble, but I was always interested in hacking, I was always interested in like technology computers to per se. But now I'm back in it and this cyber security is like, it's like the awakening of the spiritual awakening, I had a couple of years ago, like it's bringing back memories to that. So yeah, from the looks of the title, what I'm talking about now has nothing to do with the conversation. But of course I'm just letting you all know where I've been because I know it's a lot of people that listen to the podcast but they don't, they're not only Youtube or maybe not on my facebook so that all you'll have is the podcast. But I would like for you all to go check up some of those out like go to facebook, just add me on facebook or whatever, instagram, Kenneth l I am Kenneth l so it's not Kenneth brady but still just reach out. I know those people, I know y'all listening, whoever is listening, I know you're listening so reach out and I'm gonna always hit you up.
Like, I'm like, I'm gonna always respond like, so don't ever be afraid. Whatever you're going through whatever it is, you don't even have to be going through nothing but just reach out, I'll be needing it for my journey. So yeah, let's get to the topic, you know tonight. And what's crazy is I'm back on my Mac book. The one I was started when I actually started on my phone, but when I first started, first couple episodes was on my phone and then I started doing it on this Mac book that I'm doing it all now lately. I mean in the past few past year I was doing it on my back computer and now having issues with that. So I'm like, okay, back to the beginning. At first I was just like, I ain't gonna, I didn't have a topic, I'm like, I'm just freestyling, like I used to, but I'm like, nah, the dog came in polygamy, okay. And I've been seeing this a lot lately, so follow me, Let me just start from the beginning.
Of course, like, I've always been into polygamy, I didn't always know it, but even before I was like, I had myself a wearing this journey or like, I was a cheater, like, so, and even I just feel like I was cheating, but still I cheated before I cheated on women. I loved the women that meant so much to me, I cheated on those women. And I would always ask myself why, why was your cheating? Like why, why you can't stop and I don't cheat today, like, so that, that's part of the self war in this journey. I realized why I was cheating and I had to do with a lot about my past life and who I was in different lifetimes. So uh let's take it back to past lives and we're going to take it to robert johnson, but man who tapped to third, I don't know if I ever said that publicly on my podcast, who I was when I was in Egypt, but I was a pharaoh name Amenhotep the third and I had multiple wives.
Like there was, I had several different wives and then I have my queen who I shared everything with it. I gave like, have I basically gave her the power I had because I'd rather build rather just have fun. I didn't care about ruling Egypt, I didn't care about responsibility and that was the lesson I have learned in this lifetime. Like I couldn't put on, I was very co dependent. So I have, it's, I Had like I said, I had seven wives, but my main wife was queen T and that's why I shared everything with and not to say any of the other wise that I was with. Like, I treated them any lesser. But like my first wife, she was there from the beginning When he was 12 years old when we got married. So like, we grew together. So all the other wives, they came along the journey and it was offered some was for political reasons, someone from beneficial reasons.
So like, I've always been into polygamy. Like, and I don't know if it's because I'm tapping into my past life, but like I said, even before I was into past life, I was a cheater. I was always dealing with multiple women. Even when I wasn't cheating, even when I wasn't in a relationship, I was still talking to multiple women and I was always able to fulfill each woman's whatever their fantasy or whatever you want to call it out. Always able to make it work so Fast forward to 2000 18 will not get on my spiritual journey. uh I'm talking to my wife and I'm like, yeah, I'm into polygamy like and she was like already knew like I didn't even have to say nothing. Like she had already knew just from the type of person I was and like I said, I didn't always know what polygamy was. So I would never say I could relate to that because I just knew like I love, I love women like I love, I can't explain it and I wonder if it's because it has to do with not just my past life, but when I was a little kid getting molested by all the woman that was when he being preyed upon.
But I didn't look at it that way. I look at it as like a badge of honor. But in reality psychologically that messed me up. It is that may have something to do with why I love women so much. But Back then in 2018 I was telling her, yeah, I want to be uh we should do that. Like that's something that we would be good at. I mean that would, I think would be perfect and back then I wasn't taken into consideration like her side like how she felt like she was my or orange even though she knew or like she hinted or had her intuitions about me like still for me to come out and say that out loud like that I didn't have no what type of effect that had on her but at the time I was just like all my spirit spiritual journey. So Just imagine the year before I was cheating like and even in 2018 I was still deeming other women early 2018 I was still DM and women, I was still like talking like trying to have conversations with multiple women and like I said, I never thought about polygamy.
I mean it was always in the back of my mind but Like I would never say nothing until like the end of 2018 and this is when I stopped them and chicks like it was one of the last time it happened, I got a sign from the universe from my ancestors and I'm like okay, I need to stop like I need to cut this off because my karma keeps coming back quick and it's happening very fast. It was like, and I had just started the podcast, I don't know if he was right before the podcast. It probably was, but no, I think it was right after the podcast because I was telling myself, I'm like you can't be called positive minds only and you like you live in a negative lifestyle like you cheating on your girl, you can't even be faithful to your girl. So I'm like, I need to put my foot down like I'm not going to cross that line again and I didn't like from That November 2018 to now like I've been on the straight and narrow and yeah polygamy came up once again.
We had like I said we had the conversation in two 1,018 but like I was cheated like so that's what she's seen me as and she's like well you think I'm gonna give you that like when you can't even be faithful to me. So like I understood what she was coming from when she, I don't know those wasn't her exact words but I understood like okay that ain't something we should chase. Like I need to focus on myself first. Like I can't be asking for another woman. They like we're not even have like 100 like we're not even good like we're good today. But back then like it was still like I was on the edge so I had to fix that. I had to gang her trust back and it didn't happen overnight. Like I was asking for a polygamist relationships like right after I was doing my dirt. So it's like how is that going to work out? I mean I thought in my head at work, I always think in my head and it worked but I don't always take into consideration with how other people think and that's because I know that that's because I think I know I create my reality.
I know thoughts create your reality. I know I could have anything that I want in his life. So all I gotta do is manifested. So back then I was trying to have a plague miss relationship with my wife, she was my girl fiance back then. But what a with another girl that I had messed with in the past and it was crazy about that like they, my wife knew who she was but she ended up like I found out she was a karmic partner so I'm like oh snaps thank God it didn't work out when I was asking for it back then because that would you would have just ruined everything because she was a climbing partner. Partners are there to teach lessons. So like and then them out the most positive lessons you want to be learning to sew. Anyways. Yeah I did a podcast about Comic partner so you can go back to one of my previous, I don't know which previous episode it was that I did but I did want so Fast forward 2021 putting it, give me pops up again like the whole time I proved that conversation we had.
I didn't bring it up. Like I try not to bring it up. Like I didn't even focus on it but I started getting these signs. I start seeing polygamy everywhere. I'm like well why am I seeing the side, why do I keep saying it? And I wasn't thinking about it, I wasn't trying to manifest it at the time like because like I said, the person who I thought I wanted a polygamous relationship was a Karmic partner. So I'm like, well, I'm not about to go try to find someone new. Like, I'm not about to try to learn somebody else knew. So 2021 come around, I go home and I don't know, good thing. My wife don't listen to my podcast, but it would be just so it would be just my luck. She does listen to this one, like, because she usually do like, she don't listen to every episode, but it would be just my looks like I'm gonna listen to see what he's saying on this one. But anyways, this is my personal journey, my personal journal. So I'm gonna say my truth, I'm gonna speak my truth. I'm not going to hold anything back, I'm not gonna tell you know, lies, like, I don't care, I don't ever do that. So, and that it would be just lying to myself because at the end of the day, I'm only talking to this computer.
So 2021 Come Around, I go back home with me and my family go back home to Indiana and I could see my son K. J. And I mean, KJ's mom, uhh at least I meet her, like, while I'm uh with KJ and all of a sudden everything kind of came back from everywhere, Like all the things that from that relationship came back all the past came back all the judge. It wasn't, we really only had one issue in our relationship and that was when the relationship ended. But all of that came back and let me just get I'm not going to say her name like at all, because it's a complicated situation to what we're going through. But I would just be honest, like, I'm going to tell you the whole story because I need to stretch this out anyway, I ain't told your story and I ain't gave you all know t in awhile basically.
And this is like I said, my personal journey, my personal story. So how y'all judge me off this. Like judge your mama. Like, because y'all go through some shit. I go through some shit. I ain't the most. I ain't perfect. Or actually I am perfect because like, I'm living my life, I'm living my truth. I'm living my story. But back to this, Back to the story, all right, So communicated to his mom like we dated was high school sweethearts. Uh She got pregnant early. I was in the military. So we broke up. No, I broke up, I broke up with her for the simple fact that this one day she wasn't picking up the phone, like, and I was in north Carolina at the time she was back home and she was still in high school. So I was 18, she was 17. So, this whole time, okay, I'm calling her and like, she was like, I felt like she was blowing me off. So in my head I start over thinking like the worst situations that you can possibly think pop and then I'll meet this girl.
I think her name was pretty. So Brittany, was it dot? That's what I'm going to call her. And she didn't like, she, I knew it like she, she was a melon, she was in the marines and this is not to degrade her, but like she told me this, like she told me she was open with it. So in my head I'm like, damn, like this girl real like she and I gravitate, I don't know why I gravitated myspace at the time. So I gravitate to her, me and her talking and she like, well if she's treating you like that, you should just break up with her. And I'm like, you're right because we get to different two different states. I'm in North Carolina, she is in Indiana. I'm already cheated on my baby mama once when I was in cook school. Uh, so I'm like dang already messed up. Already tainted this relationship. I don't want to do anything more. I don't want to like mess up things even more.
I love her to death. Like even today, like I always told myself, like if you really love somebody like that love never goes away. So I only thought about one person when I, well I would think that thought and it will be KJ's mom. So back to the story. This girl Britney, we hang out this one day. Like if we go, we both in the marines at the time, both due to the things like accident. She was in a couple of months before I was, but she was, she was telling me her story and she was like, yeah, I would sleep with everybody and like that was in my squad or I would sleep with a lot of dudes and like the marines already. And I'm like, I'm thinking I'm gonna get me something like I'm like, shit, I'm uh, that's what my thought, something like I'm trying to get it. I'm trying to hit the next. But what's crazy is we end up going to this uh, hanging out at this marine clubhouse. Mm The magician was there funny stories like this dude had this card, I think he had like two cars and we wrote our names on each one and he turned it into one card and that had both of our names on.
It would have like a little hard on it. So I'm thinking this is like the sound like, oh snaps like bank. But I think I was trying to date the girl. Honestly it was great. I'm 18, 19 trying to date and I'm like wow, crazy. I messed up what I had back home over a girl. I didn't even touch, the only thing happened was this magic card trick with both of our names. Like it was crazy is after I broke up I sent this long text message to my kid and his mom and like just saying like how we couldn't be together because like uh basically like saying I wasn't shit, I wasn't man enough for her at the time. And of course that broke her heart. Like I'm pretty short crushed her at the time. Like we just had a son to at the time so and we didn't even get to spend that much time together as much as I wanted to because I was in boot camp, I was in cook school, I was in MTC not MTC but C.
T. That's the marine combat training school. So I was always gone and most of the time we will write letters when I was in boot camp for we were texting stuff so. Mhm. The times we shared like was very meaningful and they were very powerful like even to this day like but what I will have a memory like it ain't like I purposely trying to like have thoughts about her but they just come like I can't stop like you I think like some tools the time I've seen her like it seemed like the universe was crazy as y'all wanna know was crazy. I was telling him being funny with the universe. I'm like y'all can't surprise me, y'all can't uh I do this like it may sound crazy, but I do that to my ancestor. I try to like bait them into like giving me surprises or like giving me things like, so I was telling like, yeah, yeah, y'all can't surprise me. There's nothing you can do that can surprise you already been through everything. So as soon as I said that, boom, uh, KJ's martin to come back into the picture and I'm like, it took me by a stern for the simple fact the way we ended things and what transpired after that.
But no, like you would think like why would you go back to your son's mom? Especially when you got a beautiful wife, my wife, uh, entrepreneur, like perfect. Like my wife is perfect. Like you wild what like, and then my son's mom, like she's the president of the A. K. A sorority. Like I don't want to mess it up, but she is the president of her sorority. She's in college of course. Uh like she's on her stuff like and she has like my first son like and then like our relationship was perfect to me. Like I messed that up because of my like insecurities, like me having a less for women at the time? Like me thinking like I wasn't even mad enough to be with her like and I want only with a drug cover through the worst if we had to stay together. Like if I was in north Carolina the whole time and she was still back in indiana because she had to finish school, it wasn't like she could just move to north Carolina like she still had a whole another year.
So I would have been cheating like. Like there's no, there's no other way around it. Like I would have probably had another kid on her but like I thought I was doing the best thing by letting her go and thinking in my mind, hey, once I get my stuff back together, once I Get at least one she graduated or whatever, we'll be back together one day. Like I was wasn't thinking when I sent her that text and I wasn't thinking this was forever. Like it was gonna be broke like but that's what it ended up being a sales have been forever, but It's been 12 years since that situation happened and I had let it go. I mean and then there was times without the year like before my wife like I would, you know the last time I made her even had a conversation, I told like express my feelings was like in 2013 I was in college again. So that was the last time I had said anything Broke up in 2009. So uh 2021 comes rolling around what is surprising to me thinking I'm being funny thinking about the universities are like, Hey, they're gonna get me something, they gonna surprise me with something like money financial wise or something.
I wasn't thinking it was going to surprise me with like the truly thing that I really miss the most. Like, and then I had to, of course, be honest with my wife and tell her about this life and to know like, hey, there's no possible way that I could say that uh break this down in a positive way. That would make her feel like, okay, I understand that. But she end up understanding it like, so that's good on me like that. I didn't hold it. I wasn't holding anything in and I wasn't lying to her. Like I made sure I told my wife everything. I'm like, yeah, I still have feelings for it. Like and what's crazy like why didn't you, why did you marry me then? And I'm like, this is not saying I didn't want you. Like I'm trying to say to my wife like, no, I love you. Like you're my number. Like we're life partners. Like, uh I'm only telling you this because I love you at the end of the day. Like if I didn't care about you, probably just broke up. Yeah, I wouldn't have married you for one, but still like I understood why she asked that question, but I'm like, it would be wrong for me.
Like I would be hard. I'm wrong on myself, not even about my wife. Like to not say to not speak up, you know, like to not be honest to not say how I felt and I think the heavens think the universe, I have a woman who understands it, like she understood and then of course it didn't happen overnight, but she had her dream, she had got her epiphany and like, we had our conversation, we had multiple conversations about polygamy and my child's mom and who's to say like, my child's mom would even be interested in polygamy. Like that's the crazy part about it. Like it would probably never work. And that's what my wife said. She like, why worry about it. Probably never happened anyway. So like, I'm like, you at the end of the day, you're right because for me, I'm just telling my wife what I'm going through. I'm just being honest about my journey. I'm not trying to hide nothing from her. I'm not trying to cheat on her. Like, and I'm not even what I'm telling when I'm talking to my son's mom.
Like I'm being honest with her, I'm being open with her. I'm like, letting her know, like, hey, I'm not trying to be funny, I'm not trying to sneak behind nobody back. Like I'm being fully who I am like, and if those, that's on my social media or facebook, like in particular, like y'all probably seeing me posted a lot. I mean share a lot about polygamy and that's because I'm not in it, but I'm interested in it and most people think, oh, well if y'all gonna be dame is your goal to be dame both of them. And they did each other to like, no, that's not, that's not my intentions. Like for one, like they're two different uh, alpha women. Like they had, like, they don't even like sharing that. Like, so that's why I said, who says this even worked out in the first place? But I still have my dreams, I still have my goals and that this hasn't became a goal of mine. And now I'm just telling y'all because this is what I'm going through.
Like literally for the past since April April nine. I think that's what my last seen, like I've been dealing with thoughts what about this every single day. So for now I'm finally letting this go and not letting me go, but I'm finally being open, I'm finally talking about it other than somebody between my wife and my son's mom and she's in a relationship. That's the crazy part about it. That's what makes it all, like if there are so many obstacles in between what I want and like the gold, like, but y'all know I'm a person like, shit, I don't give a fuck about no obstacle. Like I'm going and I'm gonna jump the, like, I'm ready to run this race. Like I'm a track star I'm a marathon running, like, I don't care because I realized, oh, like I did till I did make her promise hey, when I get myself back together, like I'll come back around.
Like, like I told her before, I told my son's mom when we first broke up like that, this is not forever. Like that ain't the case, but she ended up getting married to the person and they've been still together for a while now. So me, I'm like, I told him like, I'm not trying to break y'all up. Like that's not my goal. Like I don't, I would rather me be honest with you, tell you how I feel and let you either say no cut me off, block me or whatever. But I just have to, I have to tell my story, I have to tell my truth, I don't know what it is, but I just have to say it. So it may be seen as a bad thing. It may be seen as a good thing, but still this is my journey. This is my story and hey, I'm impacting a lot of people, a lot of people. So who's to say there won't be somebody else behind me that's kind of like interested as well. So like I said, she's my son's mom is in a marriage, but my intuition tells me like it told me like a lot of stuff.
Like even though she doesn't say a lot. Like she says a lot by not saying a lot and I'm referring to my son's mom right now. So I don't even know she might listen to this. That's great part about it. But once again, I'm just telling my story. I'm just speaking my truth. I'm just being honest about like, what I've been going through what I've been dealing with internally. And it's not purposely, like I said, I'm not trying to ruin nobody relationship, but I'm not trying to just uh break nobody house. I'm not trying to break my household off because but like I said, my wife is a powerful woman. She could have instantly left me when I told her, hey, I still got feelings for KJ's mom. Like she could have left plenty of times. So I'm like, I know she's like, we've been through everything. Like that's why I can't hold nothing back from her. That's why I can't lie to her. Like it's impossible for me to a lot of time. I probably lie about little stuff to say, I did something or I didn't do something around the house, but still like, other, like the big stuff like the things that I'm dealing with internally, I don't deal with picking up or something or I don't deal with that internally.
Like that be some physical material stuff, but would I go through internally, I can't lie, but I can't a lot of anybody about, I can't allow to this podcast about it. So yeah, For the past four, it seemed like five months I've literally been thinking about polygamy. Think about how can this workout thinking about like, like not rushing anything because I told my wife, I'm like, this ain't something I'm thinking about today. Like I'm not trying to hop in their polygamous relationship today, but I'm saying like, this is what's on my mind, this is what's coming, This is what my soul is learning for. Like, it was crazy. The craziest part about it is I found out my son's mom was my twin flame and for the longest, I thought that was my wife was my twin plain, but I like the ancestors, my ancestors and spirits. I was like, that was a big surprise. Like I found out like KJ s mom was my twin flame and like, that's why all the flashbacks, all the memories came back, all the feelings came back.
All the, like everything came back and I couldn't hold it in. Like if if I had been, if I had held it in for my wife from even my son's mind how I felt like, I don't know, like I can't do that, I can't do that number are used to hold stuff in. So I'm thankful I became become this person, thankful stepped into my, my true self, my highest self because even though it comes with its ups and now, like really, like, it was stressful, like knowing like day my wife, like I truly love her and she probably taking his like dane this *** right in love with his baby mama. I mean like it so much you see on social media that's what makes it so worse. Like you see the means, you see like what certain stuff and it influences people. People don't understand how social media influences a lot of people's moms just off the viral things. So me I'm very aware of myself, I'm very aware of programming and that's why I love this uh cybersecurity is uh they say what uh what's the joke?
I will forget it but it came into my mind. Yes you say uh what do computers in him and have a like the joke is they're both easily program and I'm like it's perfectly true because people are programmed that programmed by tv music, religion whatever. Books, school parents, friends. So like we all being programmed. So a lot of people have their negative mind like they think of polygamy as what they see on tv like the most uh not the moors but the mormons people is in Utah like they see the T. V. Shows or whatever. Like you know how people internally see stuff they judge it because the majority don't think it's cool like me I've never been part of the majority. So uh you know they don't politically only makes sense for me and like I said I'm not trying to have them date each other like either it can be I'd rather have two separate households. Like but I would rather have my family together.
I would rather still my son K. J. C. Me and his mom together. Like I'd rather be able to raise him in a household where he gets the experience of a full family. Like Aaliyah got that experience Trayvon commission to now, even though I'm not with their mom, like they got that experience I was able to Raised him for, I've never raised KJ, I've been only able to raise him over the phone open, I moved back to Indiana for five and I think I was there for three years. So from 2015 when I moved in 2018. So for three years then I was able to be around him physically, but I've moved again. So I'm like, I want to be able to raise my son, I wouldn't want him to see if I have his parents together. Like, and it would only benefit us financially like spiritually. Like if you've got a three income household and even if it's, we got two separate households, just imagine all three people making money.
So like that's only going, we could take more trips like we can go more places, spend more time with each other. So like I only see the benefits of polygamy and I know there are negatives so I know there are obstacles but still that's life period. So me, I know what I want. I'm on my journey to getting what I want. Like this is just like I said, I never expected for my twin flame to be my son's mom, like, like I said, I always thought it was my wife, but she is my life partner, like, so I'm going to be with her for life no matter what, even if we get a divorce about like that's still gonna be my life partner, we're still gonna be working together, we're still gonna be raising our kids together, book my son's mom gonna be my twin flame. Like that's a whole another uh conversation that I have, we got to talk about because I mentioned in the field times, but like that's a deep discussion and that's a whole another time.
So thank you guys for tuning in. Thank you guys for listening. I noticed was kind of, it's only personal because I'm like, damn, I know my wife goes to this, like it's going to be the one, but still uh huh Yeah, I have to tell my story. I just gotta tell my truth and I took my time. Like I've been gone. So yeah, thank you guys for tuning in. Thank you guys for listening. Hey, and if you can't just make sure y'all hit that subscribe button or whether you're an apple music uh Spotify anchor, google wherever you listening to hit the subscribe button, make sure you reach out to me. Like I'm like I said, I'll respond a sap, I always got my phone in my hand. So yeah, thank you guys for listening. We out.