Hello and welcome to rock rants your podcast where we talk about all the stuff that happens right at the intersection of life and business. My name is Stefan tearing er and I am your host, I'm an angel investor. I'm a serial entrepreneur. I'm a dad, I'm a fool and a heart attack survivor connect with me on social media. I'm on instagram, I'm on twitter, I'm on facebook, I have a website or connect to Our community number at 617313-8-7. Let me know what you think about this episode or any other episode you'd like to chat about. Give me some of your thoughts, let me know what you'd like me to talk about. Let me know how I can help you. My name is Stephan tear under your host here at the raw rand's podcast, Grateful you're here and we're ready for the next episode.

Listen in here we go, Hey, my name is Stefan to anger and you know where you are. You're right back. Edra rats. Great to have you back. If you're a newcomer to rourans, welcome welcome to all the new friends and most certainly welcome back to all the old friends. As you know, you can find us everywhere where you get your podcast fix on all major platforms and that's probably how you found us and please do connect with us on social media as well everywhere or wherever you get your social media fix. We also have a website at rock brands dot com and I always love to hear from you if you are thinking about particular themes, particular people, particular guests that you think that fit into our podcast or even if they don't fit well make them fit or they bring something brand new to us.

We'd love we'd love we'd love to hear from you. Well, we'd love to hear from you about them or them about you. Whichever way. Just connect them to us. Yeah. Today I want to talk about something that we all have every moment, every day, every second. Okay. Mhm And its reactions, I think oftentimes we think of reaction simply being triggered as a form of a reaction. Right? The trigger it triggered me and I want to start asking you a foundational meaning of reaction versus action. What do you think? What's the action and what is a reaction personally? I see actions versus reaction really in the cause and effect that then has an affect to follow me or you're already confused. Let me explain and let me find a way to go deeper about the topic.

A little bit. One thing and word of advice we all have given and we all have heard is this pause, take a break before you react. You've heard that I have and I've given that advice many many times. Well they say eat your own dog food. Mm It helps us shift energy so we don't get sucked in. Well, the truth and reality is this outcomes shift and outcomes change when we do just that and when become a master at it and we can really then truly speak about that we're able to influence the outcome. And I've had that many times in my life. The experience, the essential circumstance of reacting in a way, a manner that was less than ideal and in the formats that comes in this and it may have been in a sentence. I overheard someone else saying even though not even directed at me or even meant for me to hear that may have been upon hearing bad news or being or even remotely feeling unfairly criticized treated or maybe even being told something I did just not want to hear.

I was hoping not to hear. Yeah. And the important piece is that what that was or may have been what I didn't want to hear has really nothing to do with the validity, someone telling me and give me feedback about a behavior that frankly in the first place didn't serve me and most certainly may have not been appropriate for the situation. Sometimes the feedback on how others may perceive us based on our own behavior and especially that if it was not aligned with what I wanted people to think of me and how I wanted them to experience me was not aligned with what picture was giving off at that moment and what became their memory in their impression of me. Mhm. Mhm. When our emotions are triggered, those emotions tend to take center stage and they completely shut us down. Their inability of our ability to pass before we speak, before we make that next move, take that next step, whatever that next thing is, I found myself compelled to release tension.

Sometimes the tension that comes from fear, anxiety, simply being afraid, maybe even shame by then expressing myself in some weird, unacceptable, belligerent, intolerable way. But justifying that I was right. Maybe not the fact of my perspective, but justifying my actions. That was more reaction than a conscious choice of inappropriate act. I think regardless of what we do, regardless what I may have done, if it's yelling back or responding meanly at a person who is even yelling at us or rushing to deliver words of comfort to a friend's in trouble. In both cases, I think it's important that we need to be able to stop, pass and be able to come from a point of reason and choice. I think teaching ourselves the lesson to stop and pause is not easy to take at that particular moment.

That deep breath slow ourselves down, reflect and really truly. Look at the options we have at that moment. At that second. Let me explain. If you're a skier, you'll understand the way I look at this at times, there's no maybe powder or hard packed ice, you have no influence on that. You can choose which trail to take, in which line to ski. You need to respond with the best skill available to you to make it through the tough terrain and adjust the speed and the swing and the approach to a mogul versus a corduroy flag run. You look at it and you know, you choose uss respond with containment and hopefully with the appropriate amount of power and energy at that moment reacting versus acting is kind of the same. Yeah, the first instinct level responds to knee jerk. The prompt we allow ourselves to feel is not always what's best for us or for that matter, for the other people involved reacting to childish actions and triggers with even more childish rage will only escalate the negativity in any situation.

It'll make things more undesirable and for that matter a lot more unpleasant frankly. The same happens and I felt it often when we react defensively or thoughtless. We may say things that we more often than not regret. And that regret is about words as well as actions. Think about what moments of triggered reactions are you recalling at this moment? Thinking of an experience or to where you reacted and later regretted that reaction. What's the reaction caused by a person? An environment a spoken or written word? Maybe smell? Maybe music? Maybe by a touch over the years. I have learned that I can save myself a lot of pain when I slow myself and my puts it possibly initial instinct and my need to react down. Take a deep breath, try to listen to myself turn into my feelings, my truth at that moment and ask myself what I truly want the outcome to be okay.

Remember not being the first to respond does not let you appear less intelligent or less smart. Some situations and circumstances may require an immediate rapid response. But even just a moment of slowing down, grounding, pausing right before you respond can help tremendously tremendously in protecting yourself and even finding your own clarity, your integrity and alignment with your personal values. Yeah. And it can help create magic in the dynamic of people trust me. I've been many times the recipient of words that afterwards were forgotten by the speaker but ingrained into my mind and memory and the same applies to me and remember that for you. There are people in moments I truly wish I could go back to and do different. Say different and simply be and do better. And that is not for me.

But because of the impact of my actions and words, because I know I left something for them in their experience drawer. That is not a pleasant recall of an interaction or a kind moment of a memory of me in the exchange at hand in that particular moment and the pain and the trauma that may cause not just for yourself, but also for the other person. See words have power. Words live on actions are memorable and actions are rarely ever completely forgotten. My mother used to say one thing that's helped me to let go of some things and those things being words and actions. I'm like an elephant. I will always forgive but never forget today in memory of my mom I drive a vanity plate That reads after 26 years elephant.

So I want to leave you with those thoughts. Mhm I'm sending you love and light I'm hoping and wishing you to strengthen power to pause and be able to choose your actions and words so they may serve you and the people around you in the most powerful and most input full away because remember this the reason we're all here and the reason I'm inviting you to be here because I desire for you and I desire for myself and I strive to leave people better than I found them. Yeah, My name is Stefan surrender. I am so grateful that you were here again with us here at rock France. I hope you got an inspiration or two or three out of this. The reacting versus acting.

Making that choice and slowing yourself down as you know, we're on all major platforms. Apple, Spotify, Pandora, wherever you're looking for us for, connect with us. Follow us subscribe to our podcast. Uh huh And I am immensely grateful that you were here and this is the moment where's Stefan is I hoped Yeah. Mhm Yeah, yeah