Redefining Success

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#6 Distractions aren’t the problem, THIS is

by Ruta Stasiunaite
June 1st 2021

Although distractions and social media don't make your life any easier, there's something beyond the surface, that needs shedding light on.

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Hello and welcome to the Redefining Success podcast. I am your host mojo to And in this episode we are going to talk about why distractions are not really the problem. And I will actually explain what is the real problem because I'm ready to break the myth and you might not like it because I see so many people saying about social media is sucking my energy out and I'm always distracted by all these urgent things coming up and there's just too many things on my plate. And although I don't deny the fact that social media and any media and online shopping and all the rest are contributing to where our attention goes. Um and it all is not making it any easier to be more focused and concentrated. But the main reason you're so distracted is because you're afraid to look what's behind, you're afraid to look what's within and what do I mean with that?

Well, so our brains have been wired to go the easier route. The path of least resistance you've probably heard of this phrase and in this context it means it is way easier to blame distractions and dizziness and overwhelm and your spouse and your kids and your colleagues and economic situation and traffic and whatever. It's way easier to complain about how much work you have or how many things are going on in your life. It's much easier to add some more on top of it all. And then also go out with friends and have dinners with business partners and participate in networking events and basically the list goes on and on and on alarm and all of that is again way easier than facing the truth of what you've been actually hiding from again for decades. So looking yourself in the mirror and admitting that you don't want to continue living your life this way, admitting that you have no clue how to change that.

And especially God forbid asking for help. It's a freaking scary thing to do. I mean, it's not just scary. Even a thought of it makes you feel weak and vulnerable. And I can tell you, I've been there myself, um it's not the nicest feeling. And for example, in your world, in your reality, asking for help might mean that you'll have, you know, you don't have ships sorted basically, it means that maybe you're not manning up or maybe you're not being a power woman or maybe um you have taken this role of a caregiver, the leader, the one who takes care of everybody who takes the responsibility for everyone and everything around. If that's the case, you don't allow yourself to even think that there might be a chance of some health help needed.

So basically you are running away from yourself, you're running away from life and you are running away from what's been buried deep down and that is accumulating and accumulating and it's just, you know, it's like that, that little dark room somewhere in the corner and the attic where you just add some crap and clutter and clutter and clutter and that's exactly what's happening. So, and because it feels like it's a damn difficult and tricky path to take to actually face yourself and, and those, you know, let's say dark corners, you just continue taking the easy path, the one that you already know, you're familiar with it and you're going with the autopilot, even if you really, really, really dislike it, you really, really, really feel drained by it. You go to sleep miserable, exhausted and you wake up still tired and yeah, it just goes on and on and on the same day every day.

Um and so you're shoving all those emotions down and you ignore, ignore the emotions and you basically ignore and neglect yourself. So I'm telling you this because I've been there myself, like I mentioned, and um after my mom passed away and and then my then partner got ill, I didn't want to face the problems. Um I was basically ignoring that. I was not processing the grief properly and that I was taking up too much on my shoulders, so I didn't want to face the problem because it felt like the sacrifice was too large. I was scared to be perceived as a bad girlfriend, uh, as if I don't care and I was scared to hurt people. Um but I was paying that price.

I was willing to pay that price and to neglect myself, I was hurting myself and I was basically just completely ignoring and forgetting my own needs until until I literally lost myself, I was I just woke up one morning and I thought, wow, I don't even know who I am, what I want, what I don't want, like I completely lost my identity at the time, so and what happened as a result of it was that I was numbing myself with distractions, just to feel either super busy, so I was filling my schedule like crazy, uh meeting lots of people after work and at work, I would also be distracted all the time and taking on a lot of different projects and just mhm, not the best times really, and and just trying to make myself feel at least a little bit worthy, reaching some kind of success by being busy and what I really wanted deep down was to be strong Or two rather appear strong, you know?

So, you know, a young woman um going for career and having this amazing man in the house who was unfortunately ill and she's so strong and all of that, and that's such a deep love and yes, there was a lot of love, but there was also a lot of lack of love for myself. So one day I realized that asking for help is actually the truest sign of strength. So as I wanted to be strong and to appear strong, I realized that that I was in fact not being strong at all because um I didn't follow my guts to face my darkness and to admit that it's time to change something. So instead of running away from the lion, I decided to face that lion with courage. And that's what I mean when I say that it's not and never was about the distractions and I can bet that is the same for you because by giving your power away to the seeming distractions, you actually victimize yourself as if you have no choice.

But the thing is that you do have a choice and you are not a victim and your circumstances of life are not stronger than you are. They mean unless you give that power to it. But believe me, your circumstances do not define you and do not define your life. So by saying that distractions are something that's getting in the way you're just giving the power away, you have the power to turn it all around, you are the one creating your reality. So it only takes courage to face it to face that lion once and for all, because that's when everything else becomes history because once you actually find the guts to face your biggest fear, that's when you start the engine and and and the engine runs and it gets smoother and smoother.

So what I wanted to say with this with this episode and what I want you to take away from this episode is that you are not the victim and distractions is just one of the things that you might be uh victimizing yourself with. You realize that or not. And even if you are the most successful person, even if you are a ceo of a large company, even if you run this huge amazing business, even if you seemingly have this wonderful role as a father figure or mother figure, whatever it is, deep down, if you feel like all of those distractions are holding you back from actually facing what's deep within yourself, then I can tell you that's you are the one creating your reality and it's time for you to own it and to stop victimizing herself.

Because yeah, life is beautiful. And when you start finding that courage and changing your life for the better. When you no longer take your circumstances as you're identify, rare, mm I cannot tell you enough how amazing life can get. So that's what I want you to take away from this episode. And if you find it and the entire podcast helpful, please share it with people who will benefit from it. Because by doing so, you will also contribute to making the world a happier place. Thanks for listening and speak to you in the next episode

#6 Distractions aren’t the problem, THIS is
#6 Distractions aren’t the problem, THIS is
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