I couldn't believe it. Welcome to the River of Suck Podcast. Episode seven. We're recording live here at the creative strings workshop in Delaware. Ohio, I'm your host Andy Reiner my guest today is Cedric Eastern drummer, percussionist and magical being welcome cedric, Thank you for having me. I'm happy to be here. How are you feeling? I feel a lot of things. Mostly calm now. A storm of the day is complete. Let's talk about Cedric Easton, Who are you? I am a son of Emma and Charles Eastern. I am a brother too, Charles, Jr and Colin. I am a lover of broccoli and applesauce, but not necessarily at the same time, I am a true story I believe and the good of people.

Uh and I certainly love and support community. So that's who I would say that I am. I guess I'm a musician as well. That's one of the things I do have to ask. Have you tried the broccoli apple sauce? No, not yet. Not yet. But it's a true story that I guess there are two items that I have eaten ever since I was a child since I was a baby. My mother told me that. Oh really? So I used to think lima beans were cool because they were shaped like ovals and that was my favorite shape. I don't like lima beans. I didn't like them then. I don't like them now, but I did call broccoli green trees. So which I guess they are. Well, they're like miniature trees. Mm hmm you play the drums and you're also a percussionist. What made you want to do that. I'm not sure. Honestly. I was told that I was around four when I began playing and I guess it was a shock to my folks, my parents that I could play and I don't have a recollection of starting.

So I'm, I'm not sure. So you've been playing, you've been hitting things as long as you can remember, As long as I can remember definitely playing playing the drums. I actually thought everyone could play an instrument for a very long time until I was informed. That was not the truth. Yeah. And that was about by middle school, I knew for sure that everyone couldn't play an instrument. But I thought it was something all people could do. So let's get right into the river of suck suck. So the river of suck is a mythical river and you're standing on one edge behind you is your comfort cave. That's your comfort zone where you do all the things that you already know how to do. No risks, no chances easy on the other side. You can see future versions of yourself who can do the things you wish you could do today And there they are. You can see them off in the distance. There a little like fuzzy and blurry. But there they are in the middle is a raging river of suck full of white water rapids, rocks and thought piranhas, I've been talking about negative thoughts as piranhas for about a decade and then I met someone named Sarah go rock and she figured out that they were called Thought Peronnas, which is thank you Sarah and Sarah's for those of you listening out in podcast.

Land Sarah Garak is here. Yeah. Great. Yeah, super cool. I mean I don't think thought piranhas are that cool because I don't want them to sabotage my life strategies. But no matter what, they always seem to be there. So that's the, that's the river of suck. So I guess I'm wondering how do you see the river of suck in your life in your music or otherwise wow. Okay. So let me go back a little bit. Let's go already inquired about my family, but I'll jump back and speak of them a little bit more. So my, I grew up as what we call a P. K. That means my, my father's a preacher, he was a protestant pastor and my mother was heavily involved in music and she was the musician of the, the local assembly. And if you grew up as a P.

K. You are consistently drenched of biblical stories and information a because obviously if your parents are wearing you and with within what they believe, then they would give you that that context. You know that uh, philosophy. But also I think there's an expectation that you should know certain things. So I bring that up because when you, when you speak of this river of suck and the place of comfort and all that, it made me think of one of the earliest stories that I can remember of, where was this guy named lot uh in the bible and the whole deal was like he was supposed to leave where he was because this place was being destroyed and the whole deal was like the Angel of the Lord told him, do not turn around and if you turn around you'll turn into a pillar of salt.

So in my mind, it's almost like once you make the decision to go toward the river, forget getting inside of it, but just going towards the river and leaving your place of comfort, I would immediately say never look back. Like let it go because the moment you turn and look back, you become stagnant, you get fixated on whatever that thing is or wherever that places, when you look at it. I think the thing that makes you stagnant is that you, you make it greater than what it is, Right? Normally you're not that comfortable or you, why would you leave in the first place if it was truly comfort? I mean you're uncomfortable in a place that's familiar, but that's not comfort. So I like to say comfort zones are for wimps, that's okay. I mean the cool thing here is that this week at creative strings workshop, we're really trying to get people out of their comfort zones, try new things, take risks and that's hard to put yourself out there in front of your peers and people older than you and people younger than you and people you think are better than you, even though that's, that's not how it really works.

Sure. It's those thought piranhas, it's like they're whispering into your brain, you have to figure out how to swim with them and make them your friends because they're actually trying to help us. You're talking about the bible, how about good and evil? Can you have one without the other? So you actually need to have all kinds of different thought possibilities like, oh man, I'm hungry, I better go eat some food anytime these thoughts pop into your head, it's your brain trying to like communicate something from the rest of your body to that weird conscious thing. This is you. No, I mean, maybe it's as you're speaking, I'm, I'm just wondering maybe there is, there's some relationship between how you view something versus what it truly is, right? So what you're talking about, I will call awareness if you're hungry, you get signals that float through your mind that says, hey, it's time to eat. But sometimes you, you may magnify that sensitivity if you say I'm starving.

So to me there's a significant difference between, I'm nervous about not knowing how things may or may not work out versus this is never gonna work. I shouldn't try it totally, but they're, but they're very close closely related I think based on how we perceive things. So as far as crossing the river have, do you feel like you've crossed any rivers of suck relating to music and you're drumming? Yes, I do. I think, wow, am I dreaming in particular? The thing about starting something uh, at an early age is that you're so ignorant to everything that you don't know how, how, how strong or weak you are at what you're doing. So for me, like I grew up listening, you see, these were still like a thing, tapes were kind of a thing. And if I heard something that I couldn't play, my thing was always, if, if one person can do it, I can do it.

That was just kind of my mentality. So if I heard something and I couldn't play it at first, I would just continue to try. But I didn't have any evaluation of myself based on the fact that I didn't do the first time or the 12th time or the 100th time. And I think that's the benefit of maybe starting a little early. So I probably, in terms of my playing, I probably crossed crossed that river quite a bit. Yeah. Did you have a teacher or were you self taught to begin with? It's so, it's so interesting. I was thinking about this in the, in the shower earlier today, this dynamic of having teachers and self talk. I perceived music as language. So technically of course, right? You have people who teach you languages and, but they might not be your teacher, it's going to be whoever is rearing you like being your parents or older siblings, you sound like them. So did I have a formal teacher? No, but I had a lot of people around me who could play music. Well who I would say I was learning maybe by osmosis from those individuals.

At first when I was a little kid, I had a formal teacher for the first time When I was 18, I think 17, turning 18. There was a guy at the school that, that I was at and oh, prior to that time I didn't own a drum set. So it was kind of, yes, I guess it was like a part of the deal. Y'all would like just practice like my imagination, like a bed and pillows. It's the same thing. It's kind of the same like your heel, you're hearing like your favorite drummers and you're trying to copy them on the pillow with drumsticks. I mean, not trying, that's what happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're trying to figure it out because it's like this in my imagination is the same thing. So, right, so you can hear it, You hear more than just the pillow sound? It's making. Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely. But around as a high school graduation gift. A bunch of friends of mine rally together and purchased a group percussion drum set for me.

And, and so I started taking lessons because I felt like that was the next most reasonable thing to do. I don't know. It seems pretty reasonable. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's kind of the opposite of my experience in some ways where I had a fiddle in my hands as soon as I was five and I'm pretty sure that I couldn't conceptualize anything on the violin with a pillow and have got to where I am right now. Like, well, I mean, again, we would go to church, you know, you had opportunities to play on drum set. Yes. Okay. But always, yes, always not at home at church. Yes. And certainly not as much as I wanted to. Yeah. How did church influence who you are today in terms of your music? Who um, and in a lot of ways, uh, for one, let's, let's go back to the idea that I would only get the opportunity to play at the church because there was already two drummers who were, they were adults and they were stronger than I was.

I would only have brief opportunities. So in a church service you will have the portion where they passed the plate offering, right? That was like the low stakes. That's like the opening. Even though it's not at the beginning, that's when I had the chance. Right? So you have this sort of 5 to 7 minute window. Whatever people are done walking around when, when they're not really listening. No, they're not listening at all. Well, I mean, yes, well they're listening, but it's not as captive as when the choir is singing or something like that. So one I think is set an expectation that was pretty high because in my mind I probably didn't have these words, but I was thinking I have to deliver like I've got to kill it. I got one portion throughout this, you know, to our experience that I get a chance to do my thing. So I definitely think it set a certain expectation for excellence and the fact that I was playing with adults, it aided in setting that expectation because they don't care if you're a kid.

I mean, it's kind of, it's rough. Well it used to be, I don't know what it's like down, but but they want you to deliver no matter what. So there was so there's that there's the expectation of excellence and then like the spontaneity being able to respond quickly on your toes as a part of the culture as well, because I went the church that I was reared in was what they call a Pentecostal Church, that means people catch the spirit, they jump up, they start running, they start screaming the whole nine yards. So the other opportunity I would get when I was really young is if the drummer got what we would call happy, like happy in the spirit, he'd jump up and take off running and then you then you gotta you gotta jump in there and just pick up where he left off. How many measures does it take? How many measures? I don't know. It's so exciting though. It's like, I don't know if you play basketball, but you know, the shot clock when it's at 3-1. And you and you can see it's that level of excitement though. You get like an extra boost of endorphins of course, because it shocks you first of all, but then you're like, you can't really respond to being shocked.

It's like, oh man, go and you do your thing. So I think certainly the, having a high expectation of excellence and performance. And then also just being spontaneous. And because it wasn't it wasn't very formal people also, they weren't as patient. I think like when I think back about it, they weren't as patient about you, sort of knowing your part and being able to deliver it. Can you give me an example of how they're either constructive or negative feedback, how you responded? Yeah, I'll tell you one of the most traumatic experiences I had I was I was playing at this church in Dayton and and it was one of those high Pentecostal moments and I don't know what I was playing to date. I'm not sure. But I was like 15 or 16 and the preacher said something, maybe he said stop.

Maybe he said that, you know, he gave some kind of instruction. I didn't hear him. And you ever seen those big family bibles that sit on the middle of people's tables? They don't typically read them. They just kind of keep them open. He threw one of those and hit me in the back. It was out. Mhm. I'm still not sure why I didn't ask. But, but he was like trying to get my attention and he remembered that he was pretty aggressive. I mean you didn't, it wasn't enough that like everyone else stopped and you're the only one else. I don't know if I heard everyone else. That's the thing I, it just, you were in it. I was in it and then all of a sudden it was just like, boom. Oh, and I saw the book and I was like, okay, I've been hit by the word, I got hit by by the word. Yeah, mm hmm. Well let's talk about emotions. We have them, we can't always control them, but we can control how we respond to them.

So that's what I'm really interested in. When I started this. I thought, oh, we need to overcome fear, but right off the bat, we can't overcome fear. We will have fear and it's part of who we are as part of our old brain. So how do we kind of hack our attitudes so that it doesn't cripple us. And so we can, you know, have our goals and move forward towards them when it seems impossible. That's loaded. Also also just like the fact that generally speaking men have a tendency to like bottle up our emotions instead of talking about it. So I found that talking about it helps. I would say at least one principal thing is acknowledgment and not just being able to identify acknowledging what it is and then being able to identify if it's what you are calling it because sometimes it's not fear. Sometimes it's laziness that we may call fear, you know?

So for me I would I would say, let me let me try to acknowledge what this is first and then I can deal with whatever it is. Can you think of an example? Sure, sure, sure, sure. So for a long time I thought that some of the things that I'm doing now like singing and playing drums and I thought that I didn't enjoy it, but that's not exactly the case. I enjoyed quite a bit what made me feel nervous is whether or not the people who were hearing what was happening was like they would enjoy it. So at first, so I was calling it something that it is not right. I acknowledge the feeling that I had, which was uncomfortable, but I thought it was, it was uncomfortable because I don't like doing it, but it wasn't uncomfortable because I don't like doing it.

It was and still is uncomfortable because I'm not sure how it's being judged by the people who are hearing or watching me do it. Yeah. I think it's also really common to experience feeling like you're being judged when the people watching you are not really trying to judge you there, rooting for you. They want to see you succeed. Take these people. Are you judging us right now? You just want to like listen and you want me to be Andy Reiner and you want cedric to be cedric. Sure. But like if it's so easy, I mean they look really intimidating. Oh and now they look friendly except for that guy. But I mean I guess it depends on how, it depends on how you, how you look at judgment. I know the context that we generally use it in means has like a negative connotation. But but judgment if something if you cook food and I eat the food and I say this is good. I have made a judgment about what I taste.

So it's not necessarily a negative thing alone. Uh In terms of judgment. So it's something to be conscious of. Uh And and I don't feel like you acknowledge it enough to become comfortable with whatever that judgment is. Mm hmm. Mhm. I don't know if you've ever seen someone who can play every note better than you think you can. But I believe when you see these people who are just so virtuosic. It's easy to think I'm nothing who am I what do I have to offer the world with my music when these people are so great and they know who they are and they know what they're doing and they've got all the gigs like, who am I? Why should I even bother? Has that ever been something that you struggle with? Yes, and no, I would struggle in my mind before I got to the individual, you know, so it will be less about how strong someone else can play versus how I think about what I can or cannot do.

So, yes, I've I've experienced a little bit of that. But normally most of my fear or negativity for some strange reason comes from inside of my own criticism of myself, more or less than it does. Seeing someone else who's good at what they do. I get inspired generally when I see someone who's good at what they do, that's where we take charge of our emotions and you have a choice to be deflated and depressed and feel the heaviness of the world or you can be inspired, steal their ideas, steal their best ideas and then run away in the opposite direction and be yourself. What would you say to someone who's struggling with that though, they see you play the drums, they're like, man, I wish I could play music like Cedric. Sure, but I'll never be him. Sure. Sure I would agree with them that, that they can never be me and but and and followed by. But you can definitely be yourself. Yeah. You know, because that's man, you're you're talking about this river of suck.

I mean, I guess I hold the philosophical position that it's it's all internal, right? So it's not this sort of space that you're trying to get through. It's what's inside of you that you're trying to sort through, you know? So I would encourage them to sort through that figure out who or what that is inside and what or what that person has to say and how can you get past that? Because I feel like that's truly what it is. I don't know if it's Maybe if you would've asked me this 10 years ago, I would think of it in different terms, but now I think I would charge them to to deal with what they're hearing if they played drums and they were a great drummer and they said, hey man, you know, drummers, we talked gear probably like everyone else and was like, hey, what ride Cymbal is that and what heads are you using and so forth? And so on. I would ask them the same question like, what right do you have? What heads are you using to encourage them to get inside of their sound. One of the things that I think a lot of people struggle with is advocating for themselves and further art and you're wearing a shirt right now, that says creatives hustle harder.

So, should people advocate for themselves or should they just sit there and wait for the phone? And I, well, in general, I think, yes, but you have to give me more context. So, advocate for themselves to do what someone out there come up here and say one way that you feel like you want to do something, but you've gotta block. Is this a familiar feeling that anyone's had? Yes, okay. Austin here, let's trade. Well, I guess I feel when I see other musicians that, to me are light years ahead of where I am, I feel like I can't advocate for myself, because I feel like why should I have this gig when this person is in my community and, you know, they could be, or even joining a band, there's this other, there's a lot of opportunities that have come my direction and I should think, why should I be the fiddle player in this band when there are people out there that could have much better ideas or can execute on their instrument, have better tone, all those sorts of things, those sorts of comparisons.

So, I'm guessing this is what you're talking about Andy like advocating for yourself, um, how to do that when you're kind of wrestling with the fact that, you know, that there are people out there who can play more notes, who can have better tone? Who are, you know, more creative or at least that's how you feel. Well, I guess my first question would be, do you want the gig? I do. That's the number one reason to advocate for yourself because it's something that you truly want, it doesn't matter what someone else is or what someone else does. That's a variable you cannot control, but you can partially control the outcome and maybe not even the outcome. You can fully control your activity, which may be as simple as asking a question, Hey, do you guys need a fiddle player? Maybe I can audition for you and be that person. So I guess this stems from just eliminating those feelings. Well, I don't know what we're talking about acknowledging feelings before, Right? So I don't know if I want to say eliminating, but you don't want to at least you want to train your brain to not make those comparisons right?

And just think that I'm me and I want this gig. That's sort of where you're aiming at, right? I I think comparing steals joy period on any level. Any subject matter, any discipline campaign, stills joy period. Yeah, I'm a teacher. I actually have that. I wish I could take my own advice better. I do have that on my wallet. There's this quote. I think CS lewis actually this comparison is the is the thief of joy and, and I think being a teacher, that's where, you know a lot of the things that you feel most strongly about are things that you really want to believe in yourself and so you try to project that onto your students. But I think that's probably something that a lot of us struggle with. Sure. And again, I go back to the idea that the river of suck is internal. Obviously we know that right? And these things are in your mind. So when I hear people, I live in new york city, right? So when I hear particularly students or musicians younger than myself, when they say things like, well, no one wants to hear that people won't come out.

I want to remove the ambiguity. Who, who, who is the no one who are the people named them. And if you can't, that means you're talking about this figment of your imagination. Mm hmm. So again, I think it's how can you, I think I know the answer to how you can do it. The only way that you can conquer this is by practicing the same way you practice playing CN tune over and over and over and over and over again. So I feel like the more you would ask that band leader or whatever the position is, the more you audition, the more you do, the thing that these people or whatever the figment in your mind says, you can't do it will it will actually help you do it better and have less concerned. You may always have a little concern. I'm always a little nervous every time I play every single time, particularly in front of people. I mean, I'm nervous by myself, um Because I'm in my 30s now, so I feel things within my body that I never actually felt before.

Like right now my wrist hurt and I don't know, I'm not, not my wrist with my forum. I think it's because I was playing too heavy for a very long time and I was super excited, wasn't paying attention and I had these big heavy sticks because I wanted to make sure that people can hear me over the DJ. It's kind of like this weird thing, But that's something I never thought about. I'm 33, I didn't think about that at 23, so I get nervous now, even alone, you know, can I do what I think I can do in my mind and I have to get past that. Honestly, I think we have to remove the figments and our imagination that don't exist. Do you have any strategies for if you get stuck in a pattern of negative thoughts that spirals so much so that you kind of are stuck in a point where you can't really think rationally. I mean, I know that that's because I've studied what's going on in the brain and I know that you hit a certain point and you actually can't make those rational judgments, You can't say to yourself, who are those people, you can't, I mean someone might try to help you out of that, but there's a point actually where your brain until you can get out of that pattern of thought, you can't make rational judgments that happened for me last night and that's why I was happy to jump right up because I was just more negative than I had been.

I mean, it was like the darkest time for me. I felt like a teenager again, you know, in high school where I just had no awareness and I got stuck there. It took me hours to kind of talk myself through. I'm really big on scripts like what, what are some things that I could say to myself or repeat and you know, I tried a lot of things and I mean I have my own strategies and and you know, it took me three hours and eventually I got to a good place. But you're you know, older and more experienced than me, maybe maybe you have something that you do if you ever find yourself getting into that or if you have, you know, younger people in your life who might get stuck there, I guess, I guess three things that that I've used and maybe not in this order and or in this sequence every time, let me first tell you that, I used to have, I used to think so hard about certain things that I would get stuck for four or five hours and I would be sitting in a position and I would not move. I I mean I would just be thinking about something that I wanted to do and thinking and thinking and thinking and it would paralyze my activity, which I do not recommend for.

Like it's dangerous. I mean it's great to have creative mind, but sometimes it could buy me up, you know, and and it didn't result in any activity. It would just be that moment of time that that passed and it's just gone. Um Well for one I would say go to sleep and the only reason I say that is because those women will happen to me very late at night. I feel like I'm the most creative between like I don't know, maybe like one a.m. And four a.m. I mean just lights, colors, shapes, they're shooting shooting all over the place. Um And I've learned to just turn the lights off and do my best to go to sleep. Um Another thing I love to laugh so I try to find something that engages my mind outside of whatever I'm thinking about or whatever I'm dealing with. So you know I might watch, I have like a couple go to movies that that they're ridiculous, but I think they're really funny.

Um So I would say like try to laugh and then I think I feel like community is so critically important, right? So the company you keep is important as well. There may be a time where I'm up at two o'clock in the morning or three o'clock in the morning and I have to just call someone that I love that. I know I'll enjoy speaking to them or I can actually lay lay, whatever I'm thinking about on them and they will sort of serve me affirmations or tell me to relax or or calm down and it may not happen in that instance, but I do think that fellowship and those words are are critical and they help. So even if you feel like being alone or trying to escape from that, you think that the best way to go is to kind of one of one of the strategies. One of the strategies, I mean if it's being alone is good unless you're hurting yourself while you're alone and at that point it's no longer a positive thing and you may need help from someone that can help you get out of that mental state. Even if it's just for a few seconds. Give you a chance to breathe a little bit come above water, you know?

Yeah, that's great. Thank you. Say. Thank you. Give it up for Austin skills. Oh yeah. What fears or uncomfortable feelings do you have that cedric or I could help you with strategies. Fear of asking questions. We've got Margaret coming over here. She's in my small ensemble this week. It's my fear of getting the style wrong so I can play something and I can also sometimes really enjoy it. And sometimes, and suddenly I get this, oh no, I'm sure I'm wrong with this style. I'm sure it's like this sounds like opera or not a classical thing and it's all wrong. And that takes my fun away. And my car actually, the first thing I would say is too, I'll tell you something that I tell younger students go where you are loved. First of all, right, so find a community that is familiar with the language that you want to play, but they also like you as a person because if if they dig who you are, then they're probably not going to deliver constructive criticism in a way that would discourage you.

So find a friend group that is more familiar with the language than you are and practice with them and maybe pushed the idea of performing for people away for a while. Does that make sense? Yes, totally. Thank you. I also want to say just because I've been listening to your solos all week because you're in my small ensemble that you sound great. Boom, I'm telling you, it's always in our head and as far as I can tell, all the stuff you're doing is perfectly within the style, perfectly within your own voice, no one is taking solos that sound like yours. They're really good. You have a thing and I love it and it totally works in the music that I play. So I don't know, keep it up, It sounds so good. I mean I and I think it's like the most important thing and what we're trying to cultivate here at creative strings is like developing your own voice because even if your own voice is not quote within the style, it's still your voice.

Okay. I only know the tiniest bit of french. But if I go to France and I try and speak french, they will know that I am not french. But if I can use those words to communicate with them, I'm still communicating. I'm still existing in that space. And that that doesn't mean that I can't do it. It just means that I have an accent. And I just think that in the interest of including all the people in the world and in whatever we're doing that should be seen as a positive, not a negative. And and and I would even add to that like being patient with yourself and your process, you know, being devoted to it because being devoted to a specific language just because you want to be devoted as you alluded to. When you first started speaking, you have extensive history of playing the language that you are very familiar with. Well, it it might take as much time to be as comfortable in this new language as it took with with the other and that's okay, but make sure it's okay with you, that your, your patient, you know along along the way and whatever the music is in your head that you feel like you can almost get out.

But not quite the thing that you're doing now, which is trying and working and progressing and seeking advice and approaching life with a growth mindset. That is the path that is the river of suck. You're doing it. You got this. Mm hmm. So the question is who or what inspires cedric past or present? And I'd like to add to that, What music are you listening to these days? I'll give you the music first. I guess I was telling my groups this earlier recently, I've been really into korean paul werth. I think she's Scottish composer and vocalist Laura and viola, um richard bona and in judo zoo Montecatini South African piano player, totally check him out. Um those are the folks that really have my attention now. I mean I always revisit the music that I love. You know, Miles Mingus, you know, I'm a big fan of, of almost any kind of grassroots folk music that that was born out of this land mass.

You know, the U. S. Who has inspired me past present and okay, certainly my my parents inspired me uh simply because they have a certain level of integrity that is, I think it's unmatched. Um They've been with each other for 40 years, the level of devotion that means quite a bit to me. So my parents inspired me. Um, you all inspire me believe it or not. People who attempt things that they're unfamiliar with. I'm easy, I'm sensitive man, so I'm easily inspired. I'm serious. Like if, if I see the right constellation or something at this camp, I'll be like, whoa, you know, I'll get captivated and generally inspired, but at large kids who are learning how to play their instrument inspires me, you know, strong musicians. It's so much and I don't mean to, I hope I'm not being vague, but I honestly believe what I'm saying I'm inspired by by quite a bit people in general.

I'm not like in the middle of the party that kind of person, but if I watch you like this room and developing relationships and that gives me hope to try to continue to work hard. You know, if we want to find your music online or in the music store, how do we find it? How do we, how do we support you? How do we listen to your music? Thank you for that question. Um, I'm glad you're asking me this question on this podcast about the River of suck. I actually just put a song that I wrote like three years ago on SoundCloud so I can be found there, it's on Spotify, it's on apple music. It's under cedric Eastern and The reason it just now hit that platform is because I have been afraid for a very long time. I am also releasing music in October of 2019. That will be on all those platforms as well. So you can find me on those faces.

But that's a really good question, particularly now because I've just decided to be a little bit more courageous about putting music out. Yeah, Cedric told me after we were done recording that we could feature his song inspired me on the podcast. So I caught up with him later to ask him about it inspired me as a single that was written really for the McConnell Arts Center. It was a commissioned project and we wrote the single inspired me and also recorded a music video as well. We actually ended up winning an Emmy for the music video. That's amazing. I believe it's an Emmy for uh the lighting in the video. Sweet. Yes. Just this past year, This past semi season. No, this was in 2000 16 and I never put the song out until a few weeks ago.

And what does it mean inspired me as sort of like a prayer if you will or a request to be inspired. I don't know if you want to call it uh answering of the Call itself, You know what I mean? It's more of that kind of vibe inspire me, Help me to believe what my own eyes can't see, inspire me cultivating my soul sensation. Help me to be inspire me, Opening imagination, destroy each boundary, inspire me living out each brother I take as I run free and as I go to do great things and come into my own expressions from my heart and left untold inspire me.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mhm mm hmm. Mhm. And as you to do great things and coming to your own expressions from your heart inspire me. Mm hmm. Okay, mm hmm. Inspired me, helped me to believe with my own eyes. See one thing that I'd like to tell you folks who are here in the room and also out in the podcast listening universe.

Maybe you're in a bus, Maybe you're in a car. Maybe you're riding a bike If you like what you're hearing. There is a way to support this podcast. Make it more possible for me to spend more time having interesting conversations with such awesome people and you get a lot out of it too. So for $1 a month, you get all of my albums, extended interviews. All the things got deleted on the cutting room floor. Well no, not all of them. Some of them, you get extended interviews and full high quality mp three s of all the music created for this podcast, a whole ton of music will be available and it really makes me feel good because I know that I'm not the only one trying to work with my fears that we all have these feelings and share it and for the price of one hipster cheeseburger a year it would if you wanted to join that would be awesome. So that's it. River of suck dot com, join the river of suck swim team.

I want to thank you for being here. It's so awesome to sit down and get to talk about music in life and I really appreciate you opening up and answering difficult questions about your feelings, definitely. I'm glad to be here. Mhm Yeah. Mhm Special thanks to christian house and creative strings workshop credit to Liz Carroll for composing the team, lost in the loop, which we performed in front of our live audience in which you heard snippets of in the final podcast.

Thanks to our special guests Austin and Margaret for asking fantastic questions. You can hear more questions from Nick carter, Another deleted scenes from the extended interviews available to the River of suck swim team. Thanks again to my super special guest Cedric Easton tune in next month for a trip into environmental science. Until next time. Keep swimming. Mhm mm hmm. Okay father