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Ep. 45: How To DP While Getting Screwed by Your Partner

by The Minds of Swingers
June 2nd 2021
00:56:33
Description
  1. We go to a hotel takeover, scare some guests with a public blow job. Lauren gets her wingman game on with the perfect playbook move! Leaving Richard out of her perfect public threesome to si... More
This podcast contains explicit content, language and sexual situations. It is intended for adults, 18 years of age and older. These thoughts and opinions expressed are not those of any specific employer groups or individuals with the rat race. We decided to sell everything and move to Cancun Mexico. Now we do it, we love party And play in the middle of paradise after 18 years in the lifestyle. We thought we saw it all. But we were so wrong, So wrong. Oh my God, so wrong. Now. We want to share the fun that we get to have every day. So come to room 77. Let's play. Alright Lauren welcome to my humble cave. I will always enjoy being in your cave. That doesn't even make sense. Why did I try and make it in a new window? I don't know, just trying to connect with you on a level that most podcasters do when they're alone together in their closets. Sometimes I just try and be cool and hip like the kids. How is your heart? How does your soul, what are shock was doing? I'm sorry.

They're fucking what? No, I am. I'm actually good. We, it's good to be back to work. We have a little bit of a vacation and we'll talk about all those kinds of things. But physically I'm over being sick with food poisoning. Yeah, disgusting. Yeah. The tuna fish sandwich in the Miami Airport, which at the same time all listener said, why would you do that? Why would you eat a tuna fish sandwich at the Miami airport? Yeah. In fact, that's why they were stacked so high because no one else taught them. She even said to me when I said to this, she was like tuna tuna. She tried to warn me, I'm feeling better and I'm back. All right. Well, first and foremost to everyone. Uh, most important person out there, you know who you are. We are super duper, sorry about texas and that. We had to cancel that amazing pool party there. We want to really apologize. That is however, why this episode will be called how to D. P. And get screwed by your partner.

We want to extend our apologies. Can't go into details right now because we gave our word that we would not do that until some things were sort of flushed out settled. And uh we are people who stand by our word. So we are going to not talk about the particulars of it for now and that is all I'm going to say about that. And on a completely separate note, if there are any event planners out there looking for work, please contact us at room 77 life dot com. We're hiring now we're looking we will move on, we will figure out a way we always do and when in doubt we can always bitch and moan about that tiny little italian Gm doubt. Yeah, I'm so stressed out bro. I just want a big refrigerator like they have in the United States. Well do you have like 88 rooms here? How stressful could it be? I've been in motels bigger off route 66 than this.

My life is so stressful bro. You're also very dramatic. Uh go have a little expresso and a little cannoli look a little slice of pizza. You're angry. First of all we want to thank all the patriots out there. This episode is for you will announce the new ones later. We had a lot this month because we fucked on camera. That's our role tends to get us more more Patriots were like, hey we have this thing where we fucked on camera like joy, I'll spend 15, Watch you guys, fuck, we'll get to those later. This wouldn't be possible without you actually set up a telegram group for the patrons. Yeah. So we have a telegram group that is for the patriots and for the antigen people. And I have to tell you that the antigen people, there's a dirty ass motherfuckers. That group is out of control. I don't even go in that group to avoid stay off the island. I don't even know if I'm going to go on the trip. You just stay open. I'll supervise The Children. Yeah, it's just a bunch of memes and dicks. 10 fucking yeah. And then just today's underwear is just all this weird underwear, 100 people in there.

And yeah, it's a lot of fun. Great place to share. So speaking of Antigua, it is sold out. I'm sorry everybody, but I think we will do another one. Figure out a different building system over there. Huh? This all leads to stc, the sex experience, hotel takeover, hotel takeover, in Mexico. All of this will end up in a road at DP town, which is you getting a penis smashed into uranus and to your vagina at the same time. Did you enjoy that? It was a lot of fun actually. I mean, it's not like I haven't done it before, but it was a super hot couple and I love the whole thing of getting, picking someone up who just happens to be laying the pool next to you the lead up. Yeah. That I really enjoyed the broad strokes here. SdC party at Haven. We were there because a couple sponsored us actually back in 2019. I mean, they just were like, hey, we want you to go in 2020 and we bought your tickets.

Yeah, we adore these people. There are some people and we hung out with them there and we made it through a vacation. They didn't fire us as friends. Thank you guys so much. You know who you are? I don't even think they listen to us to be honest with you. I was really impressed with the resort that just the rooms, the layout, everything was really much nicer than I thought it was going to be. Yeah, It's a couple of years old in the closet space. Had me sold at space for your shoes. We spent at least 20 minutes going, look at these closets. Are you kidding man than the shower? We had a great time. We danced a little dance with robots. I have a hard time talking to people there though. I really did. I was overwhelmed for the first day and a half. Easy. Getting back into the swing of things. I didn't mean to say that, you know, talking to people when you've been sitting in a house for like months. Yeah. It took me three solid days of sort of breaking out. Was one of the reasons was the resorts. It's like 400 and 200 room. Yeah.

Which would take a very talented GM. I would imagine. You know, you're not naturally smushed together. You have to actually walk up to people and that's where I was like, oh, I haven't done this in a while, I'm just going to not. Yeah. And it's a lot of people that sort of already knew each other from the last trip in the last trip. Because I think this trip is like 150 years old. I think they've been, I think it started at Stonehenge where, uh, they had two pools there. They had like a pool that was kind of just a rectangle party pool, right? Like an elevated DJ stand. And we went there, listen, you're at a rave with 300 other people that you don't know. And all you're going to do is dance. Thanks the music up when you are at a lifestyle event and people have to talk to get the group on, lower the music for me and I met a few others. There were not spring chickens anymore. You get to a point where you get about seven minutes of doing what? Say it again. And then after about seven minutes you're like, fuck this. I just started, I just stopped listening to everybody might, makes my throat tickle, just thinking about screaming over the music.

So we left that area. But in the other section of the hotel, they had this ginormous gargantuan as you would say. Expansive pool. There was like a beach and trends all around it, all the way around. And no one, I mean no one was there the first day. So Laura and I looked at each other and said, tomorrow we are going to that pool, we're going to go lay out all by ourselves. There was no chairs available at the other pool. There was only two chairs left. So we had to sit next to these two people who look like innocent puppy dogs. Right? I was like, hi, their clothes on. Yeah. And that's another thing, like no one had their clothes up there. I mean, I'd say maybe 20, of the women had their tops off and Maybe 5% of the guys. I don't even think that on the first day, none. There was absolutely no, we had to ask someone. Hi, Hello, is this clothing optional? Because we were told it was clothing optional. So it is so I can just take my pants off and you're not just playing a cruel joke on me. I'm not going to get naked and get arrested.

Yeah, we have to ask. So I took my pants off and I was like, usually this creates some sort of synergy for everybody else to drop trout. They didn't know they're not on the first day. Now I know we never went back to that pool again. That was the end of it. So we went to the beach entrance pool, the really, really big one. I'm getting naked. Yes, I'm gonna do sexy stuff. This is ridiculous. And this is what the vacation's about to me and I, we get down, we sit down next to the exact same people we were next to at the pool the day before, so now it looks like we're stalking. Yeah. And we just went outside our room and they're just, they're cute as a button and I'm like, they're going to think of stalking them. I mean, I will gladly have sex with them. They're really, really cute, but I know I'm gonna scare these people. I know they're going to hate us by the end, but I enjoyed sitting next to them because they were smart and they were funny, cute and her tits were for fucking fantastic. She had piercings, piercings and I just saw those piercing and I'm just like slap those days, but I knew she wasn't going to know what the hell I was talking about.

They weren't, I don't think they were listeners, but I don't doubt they were. But I just like, you can't just say to people, hey, I gotta slap those titties. Yeah, I know. I love that. You noticed that she had her nipples pierced. Yeah, I can see it just before I did. Yeah. You can see it through bikini. Yeah. No, I love that you were looking. That's my point. And she didn't have a top off first and I was like, do you have your nipples piers? Yeah, She lifted her top up to show me her nipple piercing. I'm like, well, the top is pretty much off now. You might as well just keep it off. She got out of it soon. But her husband, they were, they were really, really sweet, but there was a couple that it's really, really pretty couple fit like that couple that makes you feel. I'm disgusting. Yeah, maybe I'll skip lunch. They had talked to you. They didn't talk to me. I was like, I want to talk to them at some point. They're just sort of hanging by the back of their room because they have one of the swim up pool. They were varied to themselves before they came to the pool. They went out on their patio, which is like right in front of our chairs, sort of.

I mean I line and they start doing naughty stuff. I think she's blowing them on the patio. She starts blowing them. I'm the only one that can see everyone is facing me because of a messiah. And I'm like, oh she's blowing them every single head turns around at the same time and they all lock eyes with the person getting blown and making them feel so uncomfortable. I'm like what the fuck is wrong with you people? Why would you do that? And they walked inside, they left. We chased him inside. I was like, well that's the last time we're going to see them. So it was not. So they came out to the beach area and sat next to us but kept to themselves. By this point, I had been naked and drinking a little bit. I had already robbed you done like a little oil hand job. So the nice, sweet couple, that's what I call them. They're right behind us. I said, look, if you want a sex show, don't stare at other people in their rooms, I'll give you a sex show right here, that's right. Right? So I was like, you start rubbing oil on me and you have a pool full of people that's a little more full today, right?

Because everybody decided everybody, Richard and Lauren's idea. Yeah, they did. We're going to go to the big pool today. Get away from that loud mess over there. I'm like, I'm going to lay down and you're going to get my car car. Okay? Now there's a lot of pressure because not a lot of people are naked. Not a lot of people are being very sexual. So I'm like, you better get hard fast, but you better get hard fast. I don't know how you do it professional. That's how it's so much pressure. I got. It's a lot. So I'm like, you stroke it. You make it hard to hard, like most important, make it look big, make it look big, okay? How you hold it in your hand. But you make it look big, make it look bigger. And that's what I'm actually saying to you while you're jerking me off. Make it look bigger, make it look bigger. But anyway, I got turned on enough once it gets through that threshold where I'm like, all right, I'm hard now. Then, then it's game on. It's so funny to understand that men are very easy and complicated at the same time I turned my head and the couple that had been quiet into themselves and that we caught giving a blowjob.

They had come down to the pool and they were completely clothed. Right? Then you started doing your thing to me while you're trying to make a dick hard. And I look back over and it was like a magic trick. I looked over them, they had all their clothes on, I looked over at you and you were blowing me. Then I looked over there again. They were completely naked and she was jerking him off. I'm like, when did that happen? So I look over there, I'm looking at them and they're sort of looking at us and who asked for oil? That was when I came in as the ultimate wingman and I said would you like some oil brilliant? Do you need some oil brilliant? So Lauren stands up and says do you need some oil? And I think that's my fucking wife on if that's my wife now, the look on the husband's faces, yes, yes, I need some fucking oil, I need some fucking oil right fucking now. And the wife looks over and she's like, no, no, no, do we need some oil? And he's like yes, we goddamn need some fucking oil. So she's like, oh okay, so she starts sort of walking over for the oil and you hand her the oil.

And then my wife as if you didn't knock it out of the park right now, right? You gotta run around all the bases. I don't really know how baseball works, but but you knock it out of the park and then you go, do you want some help putting it on? So now this is good and bad, right? Because one you get to go over there and have a tiny little threesome which lasted a little bit too long and I wound up alone direct in a chair. I was standing back with nice, sweet couple. Like I feel a little awkward now, like at first it was hot and now it's too long now I'm just sitting here hard in a chair. You're doing really good. Well it wasn't really a threesome either, it was me and him some and I was feeling her out some, that's why I was like, you know, either you could walk over and just whatever. I don't know what you would do it for me, I was going to do that. Yeah, that would be a typical gameplay. Yeah, but they intimidated me a little too much later we go over to the thing and he's asking actually about antigen like what's the deal with Antigua?

I said um if you go, you get a free fuck from us or something like that, he just sort of laid into the comment before I knew it. I'm standing there with a hard on it. We're both like feeling you up and it's just three of us and his wife is over on the phone. Just give me one second, I'm on a business call, but I'm going to get, get freaky with you guys. Just give me one second to make a long story short. We wound up deep in the fuck out of you. So we did a DP in your heinie hole, your vagina hole, and we got the whole thing on video and we cut it together in a way that we cut their faces out and threw it up on Patreon if you want to go see that. And we did a little narration to it to show you how not to do DP, but it was a lot of fun. It was a really, really hot couple. I will say this about myself, this doesn't happen often. I hate condoms, you know that I think our listener knows that she was so wet that I could not feel a thing. I just keep thinking to myself every night before I go to sleep. God, I made her so well.

I mean, I made her too wet to function. That's the level of hotness that I am. Yeah, I'm sure she's not like this with every guy. I know that's her level of attraction that you did to your pheromones and what you did to her. Yeah. Whatever I did. Yeah. Fuck her shit up. And you go tonight, you go to bed every night thinking that I was so good. She could not function sexually, but in a way that was like, she's overflowing, she's overflowing. She's overproducing fluids. I didn't want her to get dehydrated. Be honest. I would have loved to have had sex with her more. I really would have. But she was so wet and my condom was, it sucks so bad. And that was about it. I mean that was, that was our take away from that were kind of emotionally exhausted from the entire debacle that happened with us in texas stayed low, We did a podcast while we're there just briefly called sex whisper. And it's a mexican podcast. Mexico city. Yeah. I don't know how anyone is going to understand us. I mean we said like four or five words in spanish when they started the music started, it was so loud.

There were no headphones. There was, I don't know how anybody heard anything. A nightmare. I'm locked up, I'm locked in a padded room. I know. And he had asked me, he was like, oh, you're not talking that much. I'm like, who could, who could talking to these conditions and like, and then I go edit for like nine hours or whatever. Crazy shit I do. And we had asked him and we're like, well you got a lot of reading. He's like, I have one word, I have to cut out like that. Let me just take a second and say like, you know, we joke about Patreon and this wouldn't be here without you guys. But the amount of the amount of editing and stuff that he does is it's you know, well I wasn't I wasn't going to come from that. I was just going to say to the people out there who do listen, I'm sorry, I can't do that. I could bring you on every single week, but I can't do that. Like I can't just go live. No, I can't I can't hand that out. People listen to a lot of stuff. That's awesome. But in that particular situation with the music playing and it was like four people talking a 66 people, six people talking into like four microphones.

I can't do that. So I'm sorry. It's funny watching you squirm though, a little in your chair. Very cute. That's what I was trying to say. Anyway, I'm sorry, we can't bring you on once a week. I'm sorry. We pretty much left after that. There was a man who kept knocking on our door who lost his wife. That was hysterical. We had asked. Our friends were like, hey, do you any medicine? We needed a particular type of medicine? Our sponsors, by the way, I'm going to run that up to you right now because I am the nicest person on the planet. You know, we're expecting him to come up with the medicine. And there's a knock at the door And I opened the door and it's a man standing in a towel, just a towel kind of wet. And I'm like, hi. And he's like, I'm sorry, I'm looking for my wife. I'm like, yeah, 300 more room. So then I go back to waiting for the guy to come back with medicine. And of course, I opened the door. It's him again.

I'm so sorry. I still can't find my wife. Like in that time did he make it through the entire hotel? I think he tried like one more door. Just came back. I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna go back to those people. So we said, if you want to come in, come in. We didn't even stay the last night. We ghosted out of there like spies the night we packed up our shit. We were like, let's go home and get a really, really good night's sleep. We get home and there's a fucking wedding. There's a wedding reception happening like 15 ft from our bedroom and we're like, motherfucker. Why? Well, such is life and as life is about learning. I don't know that. I hope you learned something in there. All of that was brought to you by these amazing patriots who keep us going. Lauren names some of the people that are responsible for our funding. All right, thank you, paul, brian G and M H Roland brad racing rev 00818 Toni and Natalie john H 20 is Mac john Tony dusty Antonio Zamboni, jeremy fred and incognito.

And those have been so far the best Patreon is we've had yet nothing against the old ones. They're amazing. But this batch really, really good. Yeah, they brought me coffee actually, this dispatch, Thank you so much for your support. Next story is going to fit in quite nicely to what we have to say. This part that I have to say now is going to tee up the story. Really nice. What we have to say is what are we going to talk about? You know, tell me you have no idea what we're doing. Do you just point to you I have a whole thing going. I know I'm literally like I have no idea what what do you think we're talking about right now? The DP No well maybe not. Egypt which actually DP and antigen. It is time that they're doing their six weeks lead up to antigen naked in antigua. They are doing the six week course, lose all of your body fat before you get to antigua thing that they do.

They did it before the peak cap thing. Now they're doing it before antigua. I don't know if I heard correctly but they had said that they believe that they can shed £93 in six weeks. Yeah, that's what I heard. I mean I think that's average weight loss. Yes. Average. That's burning like 50,000 calories a day. Yeah, that's totally possible totally. If you run to Tokyo. So here's the thing they send me a thing what to say to the people. Right. Right. So I just want to read it really quickly because I'm too lazy to make something up on my own. And they're going to make a QR code so you can just go there. I don't know how that works. Sounds fancy. QR codes to me are the closest we've gotten to teleportation to me. Pixelated dot. That's how I see it. You see something you like beam it to me. Uh What you get with six week program being offered to also exploration attendees. At a special discount from the normal rate. Individuals will pay $15 for the entire six week program, couples will pay $20 naked in Antigua.

It says at the top here. Naughty gym. In cooperation with room 77%. The six week naked in Antigua program. Naughty gym is the hottest new community in the like. Hold on hottest. Do look they are hot. They are new. I don't know if they're the hottest new community in the lifestyle. I'll give them both separately but bring it down or not. They put together a program that will have you looking and feeling your best just in time for Antigua or maybe just too late. Whether it's about shutting pounds or not, the least you can do is accelerate your cardio so that you can stay up longer and dance longer and fuck longer. Yeah, it's true. I'm going to end with and you can do that. There actually is a couple that posted on the antigen telegram group. They showed their results from the naughty gym program. Did you see those phones? Yeah, they were awesome. That was really good. It made me feel like shit. I got lazy, lazy ass. Alright, so go check that out and now on with the content which which has to do with a gym and you are wearing your workout clothes.

Still I recording in my workout clothes. Yeah. We have a lot to talk about. We don't have a lot of time and we're running a little bit late because I suspect you went back to the gym to look at the really beautiful guy that was there today. That's my suspicion. It claimed it is leaving my phone there. You did. Oops. I left my phone there. I have to go back to the gym now let me explain to our listener what I saw today. I've seen this guy before, right? I see him walk in, right? Usually we're leaving when he's coming in. This gentleman, there not a lot of men in this world that can turn me instantly into a 15 year old girl, but he turns me into a 15 year old girl, I imagined him and Zac Efron. So every time I see him write, his body is perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect spot on. I stare at him to try to find a flaw and I can't, His stubble is scruff, little bit patchy, that's as far as I got. His fingers seemed maybe a tad short, maybe not so symmetrical.

I don't know that, that's, that's much as I got everything down to the way his hair is, his smoldering eyes. I saw him again today and I thought God damn it, I just don't want to work out near him because he just looks like a machine. He looks like if you said, hey, bring in the playgirl cover model of the month, right, right, In a man version. Playgirl? Oh, is that what? Yeah, playgirl, That playboy playgirl, you're like, oh that makes sense. He looks like that person who won the cover. So today we were there and I said I'm going to work out legs today. He has uh he has legs that are the size. If you put both of my legs together, that's what one of his legs looks like. It's amazing. Like it's almost like paint buckets or something. Like his calves aren't huge, but it's just the way that he's really put some mass on there. No, it's and it's all proportionately perfect. It is, it goes right into his butt and everything and it's just sorry I wasn't staring. Yeah, well everybody else was including myself.

So you were sitting right next to him right now. Most men in this, I wasn't sitting, I was working out in the squat rock next to him. You are and he was next to you. Most guys would like sort of run over and be like hey baby how you doing everything, everything cool and I'm off to the side like pretending, I don't know you hit on my wife, I want to see you stick it in or go flirt with her, I'm like Lauren flirt more, do something better, start doing some stretches. He was he was doing lots of stretches and I was doing these bridal wings jumping sort of into his area but he was just I just wanna tell everyone you cannot enter the gym and just start doing stretches unless you look like this dude, he starts you start doing stretches and you're like whatever you're doing is working. So I had a moment where I was like I am not going to do legs today. I am a boarding that plan because I have to go into his section and I don't wanna embarrass myself. But then I thought to myself, richard this is wrong, you have to do your thing like stay on your path, do your legs even though you use like £5 when you squat go do your thing man.

So I go over and I start doing my legs and stuff. He's also wearing like perfect workout clothes like an L. A. Wardrobe stylist, put them together. You did a lot more observing. I was trying not to observe. Could not stop watching. Not only was I watching him, I was watching everybody else. Oh my God watch him because all the girls in there are glancing over at him right? You could see their soiling their pants. He reminds me of that actor in a movie that they cast pretty. But he probably couldn't act so they didn't give him any lines. That's the look he has. So he was next to me, right? And I had gone to my little I can't squat because I have a back problem. Right? Which I wanted to explain to him while he was watching him squat. I think £1000. He was squatting. £1000. So, I'm over on the sled, right? Because I also want to tell it's easier on my back. I want with a belt on. I would squat like you. I would sir. I would put back as we had surgery.

Yeah, I've had surgery at my scar. Yeah. So I put three plates on. That's what, that's why max right on my sled, pathetic. And I know it. But again, I'm like, I have to because I have weak little legs. So six plates total. Six plates total. Right? But then it's a little too much. So I take two plates off down the to right? But this is where I'm having a thing where I'm like don't be embarrassed, richard, just keep working out work out those legs get that good but just keep working right? So I get up I get finished and I get up I started walking around like I had a really good workout so almost like a limp. Yeah like wow, it's really sore. Yeah. Yeah store tomorrow we did legs today bro. You and me, we should go get some protein way. So at that moment he looks at me I get nervous because he's looking at me, I start shaking my hand like a gymnast. Like like I'm like I'm loosening extra. Yeah like I'm loosening up my wrists for something, right?

But while I was while I was doing that, my thumb caught my headphones and violently ripped my headphones off of my face. It startled me. So you really did start it too? I did girl, you walked over to me and he's like, are you finished with that machine? He was like, are you finished with machine? Yes, I said, I imagine you want me to keep these two pleats on. So, so I go over to that. I gotta do hamstrings. I don't know why I just have to I don't usually do them, but I'm going to finish this up so he sees that I don't just do one leg workout and leave the gym. So I go over to the hamstring machine and now I'm watching him on the machine, On the sled, on the sled that I was just on, I had two plates. He put on 77 on each side. He put on seven on each side. I didn't even know her jim had that many plates. He went around the gym and took every available plate and put it on the sled by the time we were leaving I looked over at him maybe once or twice, just before I left, I'm looking at the girls, some girls are starting to stretch, doing like thigh stretches and shit.

But looking over in his direction at the same time there was that one girl next to you on the treadmill that would seem like she was just waiting for him to come over and say hi can I help you with your stretches? Then I start talking to the guy who works in the gym. He's looking at him too because everybody's looking at him, you can't not you cannot, he's sweaty at this point because he's lifting £1000 of weight. And I noticed that his white tank top got very, very wet and became see through it became like the winner of a male wet T shirt contests. I wish I hadn't seen. You didn't see that. And I was like, that's enough here. I need to know who he is though. I got to find out because this is like the third time we seen him, he has to be an entertainer of something. No one looks like that and has a body like that and just happens to live in revere. No. My new mission is to find out who are you and where do you come from? And to are you into having sex with people's wives? Maybe for only fans?

You know, I'm just going to ask casually. It's going to be the second thing out of my mouth. Okay. Anyway, that is why we're running late today because you had to go, you forgot your phone, we got back and you're like, I left my phone at the gym. I'm sure you did. You want to go back and see drago whatever his name is. Anyway, back on track. Oh God. Yeah. It was really hard trying to work out to him next to him. Were you staring at him? No, I was really trying to focus. But you couldn't but I couldn't. So I would wait for him to sort of finish his set and then I would start my set, but I was also on a timer so I didn't really have a choice. You were wearing extra short shorts today, like half of your ass was hanging out. And then another girl came in, Her ass was hanging out. But she was super young. She's got, you lost that contest. Sorry. Short shorts were great until the teenager came in. So now you're screwed. You gotta leave. The next update will be, we'll find out who this mysterious man is. I'll talk to him. I don't know why you talked to him today because I don't like to talk to people in the gym when I'm working out and I know that he is probably the same.

I gave him my personality trait, I projected it onto him like I'm going to project my body onto him as well. Well, hello. Lawrence. Ma Gatto mr Roboto. What is the, what is that song? Demo domo arigato. What does that mean? Did you just say? See yes thank you traveled fast. Elon musk is underground tunnels. Oh my God, you're using so many languages. What is marguerite? Cotto? I don't know, thank you very much. Money. Did that sound like like you were listening to a recording? I was really good. How are you by the way? I'm great. That was the last time you heard or sang mr Roboto. I actually just started it because our friend was like, do you remember when you did this live karaoke that was fucking ought to be like window stage, he turned around backwards and the knee fun around like all show. I was thinking, God, I must have been really drunk that night.

I remember you singing it, He might have been talking about someone else's wife. So this weekend we had a little bit of a foursome, you have a black eye because it's not a black, a black guy. Everyone's like, what's happened here? I Richard, what the fuck? I told the guy at the gym, the true story, you know, you didn't, I know you did not, you real actual and the teenager was was going backwards on the treadmill to listen. She's like, you can say it in english and I'm like, um it's sexual and she's like, I was going to say that girl is underage that you're telling sex story to. So I didn't make it a sex story. I just said it was a girl and she wanted to kiss me and she was like very excited and she had butted me uh, and she was like, oh see, and then I looked at her and I winked, you did know with my black, we had been with this couple before, right? And this is a story that I want to tell the listeners because this is a story about redemption and growth.

It is about growth and it's, it's a good story for people to hear. So they know that they don't have a pace. You don't have to go at any sort of limit, you know, here all the time. So what you say this all the time, we're new, we just want to take it slow. That's okay. But you're slow. Could be fast for someone else and you're fast. Could be slow for someone else for stop drinking, quoting Letterkenny for someone's else. This was their pace now. Their pace. When do we meet them? Four years ago? Four years ago. And I think we were their first experience. It was an amazing experience. This is again, does fall in the lines of doing bad things to good people. This is when we were working at that hotel, we admit them and they'd taken the workshop, we were still able to really play with whoever we wanted to. We wound up having a thing with them, right? And they were like, we want our first experience to be with you. And we said, all right, we will allow that.

You also both seem to be really hot. This won't be that hard for us. Oh God. So we saw them one more time. I think we're going to probably play with him again and he got sick. I think that was like two years ago or something like four years later. They're like, hey, we're coming to Mexico, we're gonna hang out for a while. We'd love to see you guys again. And we're like, name the place, we will be there. You know, let's just have a really good time and you didn't even know if they were in the lifestyle. Yeah. I kept telling you that I'm like, you were asking me what to bring to pack and I'm like, honey, I don't even think they're really the lifestyle because our experience I felt like was something that was their limit. Like that was enough for them. Well they did. They had the experience, it was not a hard swap situation. They had the experience, we played with them and gave them really anything they wanted to do. She had rules and she's like I want to make sure to not do this, I'm gonna make sure to not do that. And they had amazing time. They said you know this is great.

If it ends like this we never do anything again that's fine. Right? So I had assumed that they had sort of gone into a world of the lifestyle. You thought the opposite. Yeah, we got down there and find out they did. But they have only been with one other couple. They had only played in those four years with one another couple. And for them and soft and soft swap and that was fine. But they said Richard Lauren, we want you to break our virginity. We want to have actual sex and we wanted to be with you too. I think it's because we're so forgettable. Like we're like the safe camp. I don't understand what it is. Why do people wanna have sex with you? But we do have like we did really have an awesome connection with them. Like yeah I forgot how easy they were to be around there. Just so sexy and it was just a really fun time. But I always blows my mind when people do that. Yeah. So here so they decided yeah we want we want to have sex.

Do we pretend to be a gas? Well he said what could be Alright well here's the condoms and the lube. We probably, I didn't, I forgot the loo actually, which was part of my trouble. So she still had some rules. Just very specific rules. Some of them thinned out a bit. Yeah, he's a little more like me. Like his libido is a little more like me. He's just like, you know, if I can do it once a day, great, but twice it's going to be a little hard, three times not going to happen because if he comes, he's done. Which I'm kind of the same way. Yeah, Yeah, for sure. So I have this problem with, she's one of these gals that I would describe as like walking orgasm when she starts to have an orgasm. It just doesn't stop. It just doesn't stop, scares me a bit, I gotta be honest, but I wouldn't want you to be like that we too much for me, it's great to be with for a night but I'd be exhausted You like, so she's one of the, he's like yeah and she's like not the complete opposite of me where she just comes and I can have 11 orgasms and She's one of those people who wants to go for a really really long time, like she she could probably have like a 9-hour sex session.

Yeah and she's like don't come yet honey, don't don't she kept saying to me too, don't you fucking come, Don't come because for her she's like it's over. Yeah, everyone goes to sleep and I'm so wired and I'm still wired and horny. So we did the sex with them. She had a very very specific fantasy in her head. She wanted him him to place me inside of her, which I thought that's a hot fantasy to have. Maybe that was her way of sort of staying connected to him in a way. I was like, yeah, listen, I don't care who grabs as long as you grab it nicely, but I did say at that point, I was like, listen, I know in your head there's one way you're seeing it, but me, with all of my expertise, thinking it's going to work out differently because there's a condom problem. There's a time limit. Like, what's the right? We have this whole conversation about how I need to have them ready at all times. You're like, condom now it's opening and I'm still jerking off clowning down and it's just not play out like porn really?

So, you have to sort of be prepared if you want that fantasy, you have to think about the logical reality of that fantasy, how it's going to play out what can happen. Guys have to stay hard, you can't take forever and be like, all right, now come over here, All right. I place it now you do that. It's like, well now now I don't have a heart on anymore. So we have to start scratch and I hate wasting condoms by the way, I want to say that one of the things that took my attention when he was going to have sex with you, I handed him a non latex condoms because you have a latex allergy. Yeah, it's like a whole 23 day thing where you have to do this annoying and it's just the thing your vagina hurts for for a while afterwards, mistakenly I didn't say that before we had started like, hey, it's important that you use my condoms. I don't know what kind you have, but it's important that you use mine. So I tossed my condoms. I thought, no, it's not. Probably that. But he went off and got his own condoms.

Now this is because his gargantuan cock right to buy a supply of, we need, we need different sizes for this. Because then I'm like, oh yeah, why would I think that that condom would fit on that penis? That would be ridiculous. It would be like the crop top. Yeah, same thing here. I'm in a situation, a guy with a massive cop lets me feel great. I started to go into my head a little bit like sex, but I did notice and he had those magnum extra extra large, right? I and I started to lose my heart on. We'll tell you why, Because the packaging, right? If you ever look at them, they put so much extra packaging around the actual condom. So, fucking file fold. Yeah, they make the actual package larger. I mean the condom is bigger but the package is like three times the size. It's like an envelope. It's definitely a bigger bag. Yeah, laughing so hard.

I notice I'm Sarah and I'm trying to be sexy but I'm like, boy, that fucked up. You gotta put extra material on it to make me feel even worse do they? While you put a handle on it, carry it around like a fucking briefcase, Dicks. I'm well, we all had sex. Oh God. Oh, mercy And she wanted to keep going. She really did. But anyway, did I lost my heart on, I guess about 80% through because I looked up and you have some like, what the fuck happened to your eye? He had like this black eye. And I'm just thinking like, oh my mascara's running because you know, and I forgot Loop and Loop is important to you because even with the non latex condoms, it dries you out of it. So you just sort of need that loop to keep that little extra bit, right? Yeah. I don't know what's up with my lubrication, but I am, I don't think that different really. Like I get wet and dry, wet and dry, wet and dry. Like I don't just stay wet for 23 hours.

I don't I don't know how long uh Normal woman stays. Well, yeah, I mean we've met all different types, right? We met types that are like, I'm wet all day long and I'm like, oh my teeth and I'm wet. Oh God, I want to fuck you. That makes me horny just thinking about that. Like the thought of just taking a woman bending her over while she's pumping gas or whatever she's doing at that moment, just so hot to me. I'm getting the milk. Oh now you're getting fucked. Yeah. In my milk, checking for mail. Oh very awesome. It's just kind of a fantasy of mine. I like it. I mean my fantasy. I know yours is a house of mirrors with a bunch of men. My fantasy is women lying down waiting for me, playing with themselves, all soaking wet and then and they just lie there. They're not allowed to talk to me. I mean they can say dirty things to me, they say complimentary things to me, but they can't say like come over here, Richard and start a fight with the other bitches. I don't need that. Don't need drama mama.

No, I just need you all lying there. I gotta try out all your holes. But they're already and there are uh there whimpering a little bit. Yeah. I mean like puppies that need the milk from the teat. Uh Get to your sister. Just stop whining. There you go. Yeah, you like that. All right. I'll be back to you in a little bit. Yeah, That'd be cool. Just a room full of horse, all of mirrors room. Of course. That would be pretty fun. I feel like I can make your fantasy happened way faster than my fantasy will ever have. Depot. And my fantasies trip to home Depot. Get a bunch of mirrors. Get a room. I could throw a stone and a bunch of guys are like, what do I gotta do? I just fucked my wife in a room full of mirrors, smash. Cut to me asking. The women were like on craigslist. The women are like, you want me to what now? And you want to line a little bit and you're not paying me, you can go fuck yourself, that's what you can do. So I don't think my fantasy is gonna come true. But yeah, she was one of those people who could have kept going on and on and on and on what I loved about her.

She was a natural director and I don't know if that comes from her just she's so sexual and so horny. She knew exactly what she wanted and she had these fantasies and she wanted to live them out and she had no qualms about saying, I want you over here and I want to see you suck this cock with me, you get behind her, you go down on her, perfect love that so much and I want to adopt that more. She had a list in her head and she was like, I'm gonna accomplish these things. I want to see them play out for better or worse. She doesn't know. And she did them and she was like, one by one, she's like, now I want, and then I got to the point where I was even asking her, what do you want to see next? What do you want to do, what do you want to do next? And as long as you can sort of time it correctly, That's really great. Because most of the time we're all like, I don't know what I'm doing, what do we do next? Go over to that section over there, crawl onto this side of the bed. I enjoyed their connection. Always. I enjoy being with people who really connected to each other and giving such a safe space and I didn't have the heart to tell them I had a latex allergy.

I was like, you know what? Fuck it. And I even texted, I told I texted her, I was like, she was like, oh, and I'm so, so sorry about that again. And I was like, you know what? It wasn't worth it for me because I didn't want to ruin the momentum in the mood. Well, well your vagina is gonna hurt tomorrow because you will sacrifice sex with. It's been four years, right? You've just asked us to do this thing and we're going to stop by the time his gigantic penis gets a condom on and you're like, oh, here's this thing. That would be horrible, horrible. It would have the nerve to do that and I forgot the lube. So there was just a lot and you've got a black eye. So there's a lot that was happening. But the end of the story is we impregnated both of them magical. So we'll be nine months, have a bundle of joy that we all share together in a happy little family. So that's it. But that is a story again. They ended that one again. Hey, if you are the only two we ever have sex with, we're fine with that too. Well, we'll see you in 2025.

They are a classic example for those of you out there who are getting started or you're in the middle of it or whatever you're doing is the right time is the wrong time. You take it at your own pace. Do whatever you want to do. Don't force it, don't feel like you have to cross some sort of threshold by a certain point or, you know, you're not keeping up with everybody, do it at your own pace. That is something that is always going to happen if you stay in this lifestyle, sometimes you feel like you'll be in the lifestyle and sometimes you feel like I'm not really in the lifestyle right now, you'd be like, I'm gonna get back in the lifestyle right now, that's okay, that's all, that's all normal. You know, it's, it's what it is, it's extracurricular. It is, again, it is not a lifestyle, it is actually a hobby, so get used to that, It's not like you have to live it as a lifestyle, there is anybody else out there who's getting started and does not have a gigantic cock that can fit into our non latex condoms, Please give us a call and we too will have sex with you, but also sort of brings us to that next concept with twins, to have a Philip party for people who are just getting into our in it, but haven't really done much.

And they're just sort of that new, fresh new mentality and yeah, having a party here, villa party here where everyone is new, every couple is new. Very, very limited amount of experience. I think that we would be able to facilitate that. Well, why not have a party right. Where everybody feels like that, no pressure and we'll do it here in in Mexico. Again, only beginners. Only limited amount of sexual activity with others. We will have to verify that through with your friends and your family. So Just give us a number to call and we'll interview them 11 at a time. Hi, this is Richard calling from room 77 talking about your daughter. Uh, many sexual partners has she had, if that's something that, uh, first timers are interested in, uh, call me. It's just the thought we have. We're always trying to think of new things and new ways to do stuff and, and that was something came up with. Meanwhile we will be in this closet slash studio slash storage room next to my power tools.

That's my drill right there, right next to me. And uh, we're here to help. So reach out and touch someone. No one under 40. Got that joke. That one, I'll talk to you later. Lard. I just stay in the closet, you dirty cum slut. And all right, Lauren. That's going to almost wrap it up for us. Who were the other batch of names that are responsible for the second half of this show, We have Preston Danny, eric, mr mrs venom, john and Rachel David Jordan, D D. L. S. P. Keenan, Josue, dave sato that one. Low wife Toni cat, jed, curious. Ryan, O. J. M. Carl B. And set. All right. Remember what I said about the other patrons that we said before that were awesome. These are actually the best. They were a tiny bit newer. These are because they new car smell. They smell better. They do before we talk about bikini addiction.

Talking about what we're addicted to this month, Lauren really quickly. What are you addicted to? And I say quickly because your stuff that you're addicted to is usually random and sounds a little crazy. What are you addicted to Anyway? And Rice Cakes in the microwave for 30 seconds. This is what I mean. It's so good. You put your rice cakes in the microwave For 30 seconds and it's like, Oh my God, is it pop corn or rice cake? I don't know. It's the same. It tastes like nothing. Whether you microwave it or not. Just just a little bit better when you microwave. All right. So you've been doing this microwaving your rice cakes? Yeah. Alright. Also sexual in your window. I have been addicted to hurricane shutters. It's true. And I know what to blame too. When I was a kid. There's only a few toys that I can vividly remember playing. One of the toys I would always play with was a dollhouse. Oh my parents and brothers and sisters, they would always make fun of me because I always played with the dollhouse. Yeah, that makes sense. You like architecture? I was not a three year old prodigy child.

Oh well this is a great floor plan. That's not what was happening now. What I would do. I remember that toy vividly. Yeah. And I also remember Fisher Price speedboat. It was like a pontoon boat. It was green, it was a tough, yeah, used to it. But anyway, this dollhouse, what I would do is my sister's dollhouse and I put my cars in there was a big garage. But the thing that really, really made that interesting to me, it had a little garage door on it that you would open and close. And that was my favorite part is I put the cars in, I would open the door and I put the door down right? Ever since then. I mean you're talking like four or five years old. That's, that's as far back as I can remember. But since then and until now I am obsessed with gates doors and anything that will shut on its own like folding doors, hurricane shutter. Every week I come to you with the new invention. I'm like, hey invented a new kind of door, right? And they closed by themselves. We have hurricane shutters here but they don't work. And anything that has a button that doesn't work drives me nuts.

So I need to figure out how I'm going to make those go down up and down like my little dollhouse when I was a kid. Anyway, that's what I'm addicted to. Thank you. Richard, you're welcome. I may be bad but yours is like at least mine makes psychological sense. Alright, tell everybody about bikini addiction. If you want to support bikini addiction, you could get one for free and support us in books of travel for five nights or head over to the website, bikini addiction dot com and use promo code room 77 to get 10% off free shipping in the US and support us. Yeah, bikinis look really, really good. They have some new patterns come out but I think we're not supposed to talk about, but I know I actually gently leaked it on you. Did you go take a look at him wherever Lauren posts, photos of herself. I had to go get ready for my you have an only fans shoot. Yeah, I'm an only fans are excited about that. Yeah, I have a little nervous. You should be. She's a really hot hot female. I know. I haven't showered yet.

Well, I would my radio. She's not having sex with you. Get to a point in your life where you're like, I'm in the shower. I'm not gonna have sex with this person. She might as well just see me like shit because it doesn't make a difference. I can look my best. Still not gonna fuck me. That's really what I'm looking forward to you guys. Uh, doing girly stuff together, pillow fights, whatever whatever you're doing. I think we'll start with that just for only fun to be really fun. So anyway, I have to go put makeup on you also go into the bedroom, put away all my embarrassing stuff, creams, gels, and have time for that. Diaper rash, medicine, mouth guard my toe separators, put it all away. I will change into something that shows off my arms. Try a little bit. Alright, bye everyone. Bye. And that about does it for us? For more information? Visit us at room 77 Life dot com. Thanks for stopping by room 77. We had a blast now. Get your clothes and get out. Never. I've never down. Never. Mhm. Yeah.

Ep. 45: How To DP While Getting Screwed by Your Partner
Ep. 45: How To DP While Getting Screwed by Your Partner
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