The Marissa Rehder Show

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Ep18: Is Your Self-Care Hard Work?

by Marissa Rehder
March 28th 2021

Is Your Self-Care Hard Work?


First things first, you should enjoy self care, so the message that taking a bubb... More

real life. We are surrounded by the idea that it's a tired life, the no time for me life. The life that chose us. We're supposed to love it, live it and settle for it all while paying our quote unquote best selves. We feel as though we should do what everyone else thinks we should instead of being who we truly are. We all want to be the best mom wife employee and we often get caught chasing the elusive perfect life. Although perfection doesn't exist, the idea that we can't or shouldn't want more for ourselves is something I'm super passionate about. I'm putting a stop to the idea that life dictates what we do instead of actually designing the life we want to live. The idea that we should accept life as it comes. Living with view boundaries and no balance paths to stop. I'm on a mission to help you lessen stress overwhelm and the guilt that weighs on you. I want you to not only live life but actually chase your dreams because you deserve it. Let me lead you to defining the life you truly want to live instead of just accepting the one that you've been dealt join me in conversations about self care, simplicity in all things, avoiding overwhelmed that will lead to a life filled with more joy.

Time and energy. I'm Marissa raider and this is the self care haven. Hey, so glad you're here today we are diving into what I classify as self care. I hold a very different opinion on self care than most. So buckle up because today's episode is about to go down. Let's start by defining what self care really is and what it isn't self care is any activity that you enjoy and will benefit your well being, pampering yourself with massages and facials can certainly be considered self care. That is if you enjoy them and they make you feel renewed. But if those don't appeal to you, there are many other forms. In fact, there are actually six different types of self care. Their emotional, spiritual, practical, mental, physical and social self care. Don't worry, you don't have to practice all six types to see the benefits start off by exploring just one area.

This will help you determine what you enjoy and what you don't. My husband offers some wise words when it comes to trying new things and finding the ones you do and don't like Trent says don't be a turn up. He's notorious for his little words of wisdom, but in this case he's exactly right if you haven't tried it, you can't really say you don't like it. I had no idea that I would enjoy meditation and yoga as much as I do. I gave it a shot and now I love it. My days are so much better when I can include yoga into them. Lately. I've been rowing on the hydro for 10-15 minutes and then doing a 10 minute yoga flow after it is seriously glorious. Now that we know what self care is. Let's chat quickly about what it isn't, it isn't a chore. It's not something to add to your already overflowing to do list and it most definitely isn't the same as self indulgence. A lot of people my former self included used to say that watching my favorite Tv show every night was self care.

The truth was that I was too exhausted to do anything but that anyway, do you feel better after binging tv night after night, nope. And if you said yes, you're probably lying to yourself, sorry but not sorry I'm not the coach who lets you lie to yourself. I can speak from real experience that the nights I take a bath, read a book, wash my face journal, plan my next day and get into bed before 10:30 p.m. Are the ones that make me feel the best. But what's wrong with watching my favorite Tv show? Absolutely nothing. But watching one episode of Friends is probably suffice. Take that hour and a half. You used to watch those other three episodes and do something that's truly going to get you closer to your best self. And I've been there yes where you are right now saying well I could change if I wanted to but I happen to love binging my favorite Tv show which may be the truth, but let's go back to those big goals we've talked about in previous episodes and that best version of you that were desperately seeking now that we're clear on that.

I want you to tell you a side note about a man with the last name of Clear. He's a very very smart man by the name of James Clear. And he talks about willpower in his book atomic habits. He says that super successful people don't have any more willpower than normal people. They just put themselves in the position to use it. Not as often. I mean that's obviously paraphrased but you get the point. This one statement has completely changed my outlook on my own habits and routines. I no longer put myself in the situations where my willpower might fail me to the point that we are starting to charge our phones in the kitchen at night. So I begin and end my day without technology. And we're even considering removing the T. V. From the bedroom so that I don't have to fight the urge to fall asleep watching a hallmark movie every night. Hello. Best self calling. We don't do that. All right, let's move on to some of the misconceptions about self care. The first being that self care is selfish.

This is often the narrative that we tell ourselves. But that's the thing, it's just a story we offer advice to friends telling them to take time to relax, rejuvenate etcetera. Self care isn't selfish by taking care of your own mental and physical health. You're actually more equipped to take care of others if you struggle with taking time for yourself, I want you to ask this question, who depends on me for me it's my husband, my kids, I'm a client. I now know that I am able to be the best version of myself when I take care of me. They will be the first to tell you that when I follow my morning and nightly routines and make time for other activities like reading and journaling, everyone is much happier not just me. So I want you to recreate that story. That narrative that you're telling yourself that self care is selfish and start taking time for you just like you would expect a friend or family member to do for themselves.

Another misconception about self care is that doing one or two self care activities a week is enough. The truth is that self care needs to become a permanent fixture in your life. Things like daily habits, schedules, budgets, mindfulness and the other thousands of self care options will not change your life unless you work from the inside out. It's so important that you work from within and do the mindset work first. This is the foundation and basis for all of my programs including my newly created life by Design course which is a D I. Y. Starter course that will allow you to create your own self care plan through designing a life you truly love. It's completely self lead and it is the perfect place to start. But the thing is is that without that strong foundation, the mindset work, learning mindfulness, developing habits, creating schedules and adding self care that's really truly meaningful for living your best life.

You're not going to see the life changing benefits that you could. Now earlier, I mentioned That there are actually six types of self care. Each one holds a place for us whether we want to believe it or not. And in the show notes, you can find the link to a quiz I offer inside that life by design course. It allows you to discover your ideal self care type. It's a super simple way to figure out what area of self care you should start implementing into your daily life. Okay, so let's break down the different types of self care. They are emotional, spiritual, practical, mental, physical and social. So we're gonna start with emotional self care. Emotional self care is all about taking care of your emotions. Okay, Marissa tells me that in the name. Yeah, I know, I know, but hear me out emotional self care is activities that help you connect process and reflect on the full range of your emotions. Things like therapy, journaling, creating art, music, playing music, there are all different activities that can benefit your emotional well being.

The next one I want to talk about is spiritual self care. It's anything that's good for your soul. It might be religion, going to church, praying, reading your bible or it could be meditation, yoga being in nature or simply self reflection. The next one I want to move on to is practical self care. It's just it's exactly what it says. It's all things practical daily life stuff, you might truly enjoy them or you might not and you might just enjoy the results that you get from doing these activities like budgeting, keeping a planner, taking professional development classes, organizing all the things. The key here to this is that you might not enjoy actually having to organize your closet or clean your house or pick up the clutter, but if it impacts your mental health in a positive way. Those activities are actually self care. So let's move on to mental self care. These activities are the ones that stimulate your mind, including reading a book, playing chess or other strategy driven games, solving puzzles, going to museums or basically anything that requires you to exercise your brain power.

The next one I want to talk about is gonna seem really self explanatory as well. It's physical self care. It's probably one of the most well known types. It's anything that gets your body moving. Nature walks, going to the gym, running, dancing, you name it, but it also includes eating healthy, drinking enough water and getting enough sleep. Physical self care is truly anything that benefits your physical body, not just the exercising part of it. The last type is social self care which has definitely suffered for most of us during the pandemic, but it remains just as important as the other five types. These are activities that nurture and deepen relationships with people you enjoy being around. They can include going for brunch, calling your BFF, going out for a drink after work, going on a date. It doesn't mean you have to surround yourself with large groups of people, but it is important to develop deeper relationships with those who are important in your life. Now that you've gotten a quick rundown in self care, feel free to check out the quiz.

I have created, it won't give you in depth information, but it is going to give you a place to start when you're creating your self care habits. They've also recently released my self care tool kit that you can find by going to www dot marissa raider dot com slash toolkit. It's the easiest way to start implementing self care into your daily life. It includes a printable planner bullet journal self care intention cards and a daily habit tracker. It's sure to help you get organized, stay organized and keep from having self care, feel like just another task on your to do list. Thank you so so much for being here today, I can't wait for next week's episode, but until then I'm gonna be right here cheering you on, Thanks so much for hanging out with me and just in case you didn't know there is a community that has been created just for you. It's centered around the self care Haven episodes and is designed to help you take action and implement all the goodness. I want you to be a part of it.

So head on over to Marissa raider dot com slash facebook group. Thanks so much for tuning in. If you would like to learn more about me and how I can help you stop feeling stuck and overwhelmed and start living the life you dream of. Head to Marissa raider dot com. There's free downloads, programs and courses to help you live your best life. I'm always cheering you on, see you next time.

Ep18: Is Your Self-Care Hard Work?
Ep18: Is Your Self-Care Hard Work?
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