The Marissa Rehder Show

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Ep. 38 Self Love is Happiness

by Marissa Rehder
February 10th 2022
In this week’s episode, Marissa is back with another solo episode to talk all about  self-love. We live in a society that pushes self-love, but do any of us know what it actually means? Marissa shares... More
Welcome to the self care with Marissa Radar podcast. I'm your host, Marissa and I am a certified life coach and self care expert. I'm making it my mission to help busy women build a self care centered lifestyle because self care is so much more than just pampering yourself. Society leads us to believe that basic rights like taking a warm bath or having our hair done is self care. But I'm here to change that narrative. I'm going to teach you how I went from overwhelmed, stressed to the max and burned out on life to thriving and loving the life I'm building. And it all started with making a commitment to myself. So what do you say? Are you ready to commit to your own personal development journey? Let me lead you to the path of happiness and contentment. That's right. The one that leads you to a life you truly love. Let's get started. Hey, welcome back to another episode of self care with Marissa raider. Today we're talking all things self love. And so we're gonna start off with my self love checklist here that I want you just to answer yes or no to these questions.

I move my body regularly to the best of my ability, yes or no. Do you do that? I eat mindfully, I prioritize sleep where and when I can I make sure to stay hydrated throughout the day. I have fun regularly. I pay attention to my finances. I prioritize my comfort and I spend time in stillness and silence daily, which would be like meditation, breathwork, journaling any of those types of tasks. So the reason why this checklist is so important because we are diving into the importance of self love this month of february here and I I want you to pay attention to these different ways that you can show yourself self love and a lot of times when we think of self love, we need to wake up in the morning and look at ourselves in the mirror and just feel like, gosh, I love myself, I am amazing, I am a boss like okay, yeah that would be amazing but I don't wake up like that but I have self love in my life and I have self love because I do those things on that checklist, I might not do all of them every day, but I try my hardest to make them a priority in my life.

And so self love is less of a feeling and more of a way of life. So it's not that like you wake up every day and you are just so overjoyed with yourself, you can't help but love yourself, I mean that you know we can call that narcissism a little bit maybe and that's not what we're looking to create here. Okay, so go less about the self love feeling and more about a self love way of life and so things like having strong boundaries, partaking in self care activities intentionally taking part in self care activities, paying attention to your comfort to your environment, all of those things show yourself self love, they make yourself a priority, they show intention and you start showing up differently when you start doing those things so one of the number one things that you can do to start showing yourself love daily is keeping your promises to yourself, so if you say I'm gonna wake up with my alarm every morning so that I can start my day off on the right foot, keep that promise to yourself, do not break it, wake up, turn that alarm off and just get out of bed that is showing self love to you, so setting limits and establishing healthy habits matters every single day because it shows yourself that you're going to show up for yourself and guess what the more you love yourself the more you trust yourself and I can guarantee you from personal experience as well as my coaching clients that when you trust yourself, life is so so much better because you have your own back and nobody else needs to have it for you then you know and you believe in yourself enough that you can show up every day and make those healthy habits and those healthy choices to better yourself and live that dream life to chase those dreams to become that elite dream follower and so this is your life and you need to have your own back and you need to come first and I know that you get tired of hearing that cliche like, oh you're in an airplane, you have to secure your mask first before you help the person next to you?

It's true though. They wouldn't say it if it wasn't true and if you can't show up for yourself and keep your promises to yourself and make healthy habits and make better decisions, then how are you expected to do it for everyone else in your life that you love, that you are supposed to show up for every day and I hate the word supposed, but I feel like you might resonate with that word and we have people that we choose to show up for every day, our kids, our spouses, our partners, our coworkers. Um, when I was a teacher, I showed up every day for my students and I had to take care of myself 1st before I could properly take care of them because a burned out wife entrepreneur mom, teacher, business owner, whatever is not going to be successful in the long run and we want to build lasting changes, We want this to be a lifestyle, a complete way of life, not just something that you do for a little bit of time to get by only until the next cycle of burnout sets in.

We don't want that we want this to be your life wang you, you want it to be sustainable. Okay, so some things that you can do that would be really easy to implement into your day is pay attention to your clothes. Do they reflect your style? Are they comfortable? Do you feel comfortable? Like you're in your own skin when you're wearing them? That's a big part of how you show up as a person, if you're not comfortable with the way your hair is styled or the clothes that you're wearing, your confidence isn't going to be there and that's when negative self talk creeps in and all these other things. So something as simple as making sure that you're comfortable in your own clothes is self love and getting fresh flowers for yourself, picking up, you know, at the local grocery stores, sometimes you'll have $5 little bouquets to have on your kitchen counter just to bring a little life and color and vibrancy, if that's your thing, do it, don't wait for somebody else to do it for you do it for yourself. There's nothing wrong with that.

Things like decluttering and organizing. It may not be your favorite thing to do, but oh, does it feel good when you can walk into a room or open a closet door or walk into your area where you work and have it be organized and declutter dude. And I know some of you are like, I can't do it, I have to have the messy? Okay, I'm not gonna argue with you, but this is definitely one way that a lot of my clients have found peace and calming is by discovering and being more organized, you would be amazed at the effects that it can have on your mood, on your attitude, just your overall life. The other thing that you can just implement into your normal day is adding peace and calming and relaxation and I don't mean binge watching 18 episodes in a weekend of your favorite tv show, like that's a short term high. That is not going to set you up for success for the rest of your week or the rest of your month or towards your goals or your habits or your routines.

Okay peace and calming and relaxing things that reflect self love are creating a morning routine that allows you to um read journal, meditate. You don't have to do all or any of those things but try them out. See what actually brings you peace and calming. What actually makes you feel relaxed. I have to turn the tv off and put my phone away a half an hour before bed. I have started listening to sleep stories or meditations to fall asleep at night because I know that that sets me up to be able to turn my alarm off the next morning and just get up and be ready for my day, find out what brings you those feelings and then do more of it. Okay, so I have three quick wins for you today when it comes to self love. The first thing is try your hardest to be present as often as possible. Living in the past, his guilt tripping and you know, it's not a good place to be living in the future is amazing when it serves a purpose, but spending too much time focusing on the future and not being happy and in the present now is gonna make it even harder for you to get to that future that you're dreaming of.

So try anything you can to be present in the moment, feel the chair underneath you take the deep breaths, do all of the things that are going to keep you in the present moment. Notice the little details, Okay, know your true feelings and desires, desires is my second tip for self love. If you don't know how you truly want to feel or what you truly desire to get from this amazing life that you've been given, it's going to be really, really hard to be present to feel that self love and to put in the effort and the, the work it takes to do all of these things. And the third thing is is who are you? What do you like? What do you just like sit down and actually make lists of things that you like, of things that you dislike, movies, music, um places, things that you want to do, places you want to travel, places you've been that you could care less if you ever go there again because you just really didn't enjoy it.

Get to know yourself, who are you deep down because that is going to help lead you in those other areas of establishing healthy boundaries of creating healthy habits and being comfortable in your own life. And that's the main goal. And just the last thing I want to leave you with today is that self love, just like self care is not selfish, it is necessary, absolutely necessary to live your best life, to chase your dreams and to actually achieve them to go from that daydreaming status to that dream achieving status. That's what we want. And self love is the absolute foundational thing that I teach every single one of my clients because often times we just don't even know what self love really is and how to implement it into our daily lives, but that's what I want you to get out of this episode and so feel free to comment below something that resonated with you in this episode, make sure if you're listening to the podcast, leave a review.

I love to hear from you, come check me out on instagram and I don't mean like check me out, but like do slide into my DMS because I know that that's not something most people like, I love it when you hit me up on instagram because I truly want to be a part of your journey and so come hang out with me and I would love to be your biggest cheerleader other than yourself self Stay tuned! Next week we're going to continue our self love discussion with an interview with a self love coach. It's literally the only thing she teaches, Rosie can't wait for you to meet her. So be sure to come back next week and join us again. That's it for this week's episode of Self Care with Marissa raider. Thank you for joining me and listen, if you enjoyed it and thank your BFF or any other woman you know, might benefit from it, send them a link, share this episode or screenshot it and share it on instagram and tag me at marisa dot raider and hey, if you haven't already come, hang out with me on the gram where I share all things, building life you truly love in order to help you be the best version of yourself.

Until next week I will be here, cheering you on

Ep. 38 Self Love is Happiness
Ep. 38 Self Love is Happiness
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