The Marissa Rehder Show

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Ep. 42 This is How You Can Love Yourself as a CEO, Mom and wife

by Marissa Rehder
February 24th 2022
In this week’s episode, Marissa is opening up about how to love yourself as a CEO, Mom and wife. She breaks down the foundational skills you need to do the same as well has her practical tips for prog... More
Welcome to the self care with Marissa Radar podcast. I'm your host, Marissa and I am a certified life coach and self care expert. I'm making it my mission to help busy women build a self care centered lifestyle because self care is so much more than just pampering yourself. Society leads us to believe that basic rights like taking a warm bath or having our hair done is self care. But I'm here to change that narrative. I'm going to teach you how I went from overwhelmed, stressed to the max and burned out on life to thriving and loving the life I'm building. And it all started with making a commitment to myself. So what do you say? Are you ready to commit to your own personal development journey? Let me lead you to the path of happiness and contentment. That's right. The one that leads you to a life you truly love? Let's get started mm hmm. Do you sometimes feel like you're not doing enough or that you're falling short in one or more areas of your life in this episode?

I'm going to share with you how I learn to love myself as a Ceo, a mom and a wife and how you can do it too. Hey, everyone it is me, marissa raider. Self care with mercy later. And if you are anything like me, you sometimes feel like you're not doing enough that you're falling short and it can be so daunting. But what if I told you that there is a way to change all of that away to learn how to love yourself as a Ceo a mom and a wife because it's completely possible. So, tune in for these next few minutes here with me because I'm about to share with you exactly how I did it. And it starts with these three important pieces and the first one is showing up authentically. The first step is just being completely honest with yourself about how you're feeling, what's not working and the steps that you need to take next, this comes from being authentic and sharing what matters most to you, who you are, beyond your titles and what you want in your life.

Number two is staying connected to your why being intentional with every single thing that you do is the best way for keeping yourself accountable and you probably are going to get tired of hearing me say these same things over and over again, but that how important it is and this isn't something that you're just going to hear once and magically be able to implement. So staying connected to your wife, being intentional, doing that is one of the very keys to being a success and to learning to love yourself in all of your different rules despite what your rules are, but just as you as a human being okay. And so that's where staying connected to your y comes into play because being a ceo working on your family life, whatever it is is going to wear on you okay and when you can stay connected to your y that's where your self discipline and your motivation come from.

So when you get off course or start feeling like you're not good enough or things aren't working out, you need to go back to your, why, why are you doing this in the first place? What's your purpose behind what you're trying to accomplish? And it's okay if when you start off, if it's just doing it for you because you are a human being, you are a person. Yes, you're a mom and you have tiny people that depend on you. Yes, your wife or partner, but you know what you are of value and I don't know how else to convey that to you, that you are worth doing something just for you. And that's what my business started off being was just a little bit of hope and a little bit of light in my day, something that I was doing for me, so that I could see the growth, I could feel the success in something and it transferred into a full on career eventually, but I would have never gotten there if I hadn't learned to love myself first.

So let's move on to the third thing that you need to do which is own every last bit of you. Okay. This step is all about owning your greatness and not giving up. In least it's taking the time to put yourself first, so you can love your life as it is right now and appreciate every little bit of what makes you you and I know you're thinking super yay, those are really abstract things and that doesn't just happen overnight. Okay, and I understand that and so I'm not gonna leave you hanging, I'm gonna give you my top eight practical tips now, but I want you to know that those first three or the Foundation and that's something that you need to constantly be working on. But these quick winds here are what's going to tide you over until you can truly get to that place where you have self love in all of those areas and just for yourself, not just for the rules that you hold And so my practical tips are first is that Number one, you have to love yourself first and foremost, you can't love yourself as a mom and love yourself as a wife and as a Ceo unless you truly have respect for yourself Okay?

And that starts with being not hard on yourself. We, as women are trained to pick out our flaws, our insecurities, our fears and to concentrate on those so that we can quote unquote fix them and overcome them, but by being hard on yourself and having those perfectionist tendencies, All it's doing is preventing you from loving yourself which then takes away from your happiness and your ability to be present with your family and your friends and in your job. So love yourself first and do that by not being so hard on yourself. Number three is to take some time for yourself every day even if it's just 10 minutes and I have lots of different episodes and lots of different blog posts on exactly how to do that, But find something that even just for 10 minutes, whether it's a yoga flow or a journal prompt or reading 10 pages in a book, do something just for you every single day Tip.

Number four is to find a support group of other moms who understand what you're going through. Um you know when you have small kids there's those mops groups and different things like that. But what I found as a mom of young kids was that there were very very few other women in my immediate area that had the drive and the desire and the want that like innate inside part of them, it's hard to describe to other people like how bad you want to grow a business and be a ceo and create an empire of your own and there aren't a lot of those people around. So stay tuned for some more details next week because I'm gonna be talking about how you can find a community just like that that I'm going to be creating for women, just like you. Okay, so stay tuned for that. But finding a support group of other people that are an elite dream follower just like you is my number four tip and the numbers don't really matter.

That may very well be like my number three tip right behind loving yourself and not being hard on yourself, but find your support and and stick with them. Number five is getting organized. Use a planner or an app to help you keep track of your schedule because we all know I used to be that mom that told all of those lies, I don't need to write it down, I don't need to have a planner, I can't have it on my phone, I don't like putting it in there, I need a paper planner and then I'd write it down and then I'd never look at my planner again if you are like me know that that is something that I had to work very, very hard to change about myself, but it was literally life changing when I got my ship together, when I can know that I am no longer having to rely on my memory to remember when the appointments are, when snack days are all the things that moms have to remember plus all of the things that a business owner has to remember, I had to, I had to delegate that to my planner, I just could not do it anymore.

So if you're not currently using anything to track your schedule, I highly highly recommend getting on the planter bandwagon now whether it's a digital or a paper planner. And speaking of delegating that leads me to my number six tip delegate tasks whenever possible. There's no need to do everything by yourself. The saying it takes a village, is it just some like cliche thing that people came up with, it literally takes a village to raise Children and then you throw in adding a business on top of it and being a wife or a partner or a co parent, whatever it is that you've got going on in your life right now and holy cow, it takes an even bigger village and I know I used to be that person that was like, you know what, I don't have one, My parents lived two hours away. I it was excuses, I was making excuses for why my life wasn't as glamorous or as cool as other people's or whatever, There is always a way, you just have to find it.

I love Marie for leo and her book, everything is figure out double is so true and that comes with delegating. So even though it would be harder to have somebody else do this and it would just be easier if I did it myself. Those are excuses, delegate delegate those tasks whenever you possibly can I have someone that comes in and cleans my house, is it because my husband and I are just have extra money laying around all over the place. No, no, we do not. We have three small Children who require daycare and other things and I'm growing a business, There's no extra money laying around. But what I can tell you is that the mental stress of having someone else be able to come in and do my deep cleaning makes it so that I no longer have to spend my nights and weekends doing it as an exhausted, overwhelmed mom. They can come, they can do it while I'm working and it frees up my mental space and my physical time, which is definitely worth what I'm paying them to come and do it.

So number seven then is to set realistic goals and don't be afraid to change them if you need to. I just listened to a listened, I just watched a Youtube video this morning that talked about your growth from even last monday to this monday or last month to this month, you are constantly growing and changing in your perspective, is, is shifting, you are learning new things, your brain is seeing the world in a different way and it's okay for you to set goals and then come back to them and be like, you know what, this gold does not serve a purpose anymore and I'm only doing it because I set this goal six months ago. So if you are the type of person that sets goals at the beginning of the year and in august you are just going through the motions and like yeah, I don't even remember why I'm doing this or it doesn't really fit my needs anymore. But I'm sticking with it. That is wasting your time.

It's wasting your brain space and it's okay to let go of things that no longer serve you. I'm gonna say it again, let go of the things that don't serve you. So make sure your goals are realistic when you see people on Instagram talking about growing their business and their amazing morning routine and they're working from a beach somewhere and yeah, they may have kids and they may choose to homeschool or they may make $1 million dollars a year and can afford to do that. And that that doesn't mean that you should set those as your own goals, set realistic goals for yourself. What do you really want out of this life For you, For your family, for your business? This is about you. It's okay to be selfish because this is about you. It is, it's you're the only one who matters in this, in the goal setting area that I'm talking about. Yes, we take time and we have obligations to our kids, into our spouses, into our co parenting parents, whoever it is that's in your life.

Yes, we do need to be respectful. We do need to be cognizant of them in our decision making. But when it comes to goals sat down for you. I have traveled goals that my husband cringes at because he hates leaving the farm. He hates having to have someone take care of his cattle and his cows and it's just not something that he enjoys being gone from. He has that excuse that it's just more work to have somebody else do it. And to some degree it is when it comes to farming, I will give him that. But that doesn't mean that I'm changing my goals too fit his desire to stay at home and be a home body. I want to travel and that's okay and we are okay at compromising at that. So set goals that matter to you that are realistic now. Is it realistic for me to say that my husband and I are going to travel the world for six months out of the year.

Absolutely not. That's not realistic. But can we go away for a weekend? Once a quarter, for a long weekend. four days. Yes, that's realistic. So think about your goals, think about your business goals, your personal goals, your family goals make them realistic. But don't be afraid to give up on them if they no longer serve what your priorities are because your priorities are gonna change and they are going to shift. And my final tip here is to believe in yourself and know that you can do anything. I for a very long time knew that I could do anything. I could learn anything. I could be anything. Things came naturally to me. And deep down though I wasn't doing them. I knew it in my mind, but I didn't truly believe it. I want you to believe in yourself so hard that you know that you can do Anything if you want to make $1 million dollars a year while you're raising your kids do it, you can do it.

That doesn't mean that there aren't gonna be sacrifices and it's not going to be hard work. But believe in yourself enough to know that all of these things that I've talked about here today, you can do it. You just have to show up for yourselves because when we show up for ourselves, whole and authentic everything in our lives changes, we become more present and connected with those who are around us, our relationships blossom into something that's just truly beautiful and owning who we are allows us to step fully into our power and live a life of purpose and meaning which I have a friend and a fellow coach who worked in Long term care facilities and she said the # one wish of the dying is that they had lived more. It wasn't that they wished they had worked more or that they had accomplished more. It was that they had lived more that they had done more things that they had been more present. They had had more experiences.

So live that life full of purpose and meaning. And so I want to know now are you ready to own your ceo title to be the best mom or wife that you can be because it all starts by simply showing up being yourself and staying connected to your y and I want to thank you today for listening and if you have enjoyed this episode, please please please share it with a friend and leave me a review or comment. And I will see you next time and until then I'm going to be here to turn you on. Yeah, that's it for this week's episode of Self care with Marissa raider. Thank you for joining me and listen. If you enjoyed it and thank your BFF or any other woman you know, might benefit from it. Send them a link, share this episode or screenshot it and share it on instagram and tag me at marisa dot raider and hey, if you haven't already come hang out with me on the gram where I share all things building a life you truly love in order to help you be the best version of yourself.

Until next week I will be here cheering you on

Ep. 42 This is How You Can Love Yourself as a CEO, Mom and wife
Ep. 42 This is How You Can Love Yourself as a CEO, Mom and wife
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