The Marissa Rehder Show

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Ep. 57 Dreaming Big and Still Being Present in the Little Moments

by Marissa Rehder
May 5th 2022
Do you ever get lost in your big dreams without even realizing it? When you're mom and business owner, you wear so many different hats. It's hard to take them all off to appreciate the little moments ... More
Hey there, Marissa here and today I want to talk to you about something that's been on my mind a lot lately. It's something that we all experience from time to time but it can be tough to stay mindful of it when you're a dreamer scaling your business. I want you to know that I am a huge, huge supporter of chasing your dreams and they are so important but you can't forget to live in the moment to if you're struggling to wear all of the hats and still be present. This episode is for you, you're listening to the Marissa raider shell, I'm a mom of three farm wife and creative entrepreneur who thrives on, helping dreamers endures make the most of their God given talents. You can consider me your newest BFF who will be in there to cheer you on and give you practical tools to use in your business and your life all while empowering you in your faith, providing you with hard truths and motivation to get you chasing your dreams.

I am bringing you actionable tips to uplevel your life and business as a busy mom and believer, I'll share laughs and encouragement with you as you chase after your God given dreams, I believe that you've been given this one life and purpose for you to live out and if you're ready to be the rockstar, you're meant to be, then you're in the right place, let's get started. Welcome back to the first official show of the Marissa raider show, I am super excited to get this rebrand going for the podcast. It's been on my mind a lot lately and I just really wanted to get away from classifying myself as just self care. I wanted to be able to talk to you about more things and today is one of those episodes. Listen we all have dreams and we all want to achieve them but sometimes we get so wrapped up in the big picture that we forget to enjoy the little moments in this episode. I am going to talk about how to stay present and still achieve your dreams without forgetting what's really important to you.

When I talked to mom Preneurs that is one of the biggest struggles they have, juggling all of the hats wearing all the hats and knowing when to take which one off and where it went and it ends up being a jumbled mess but it doesn't have to be that way. I want you to know that you can dream big and be passionate about your dreams and still make time to be present in those little moments. Honestly, there is no limit to what we can achieve in life. If we are driven by our passions and allow ourselves to dream big, we can do it whether it's starting a new business or working towards a personal goal, it's honestly essential to be fully committed and confident in your abilities. You need to push yourself past your comfort zone, take risks and just learn from your mistakes along the way and above all else you have to believe in yourself because when you put your heart and soul into something, anything is possible. So I want to just start this episode off by telling you dream big Reach for the stars and never underestimate the power of passion and determination.

I do not want you to be deterred from chasing those dreams and conquering every one of the goals that you set out to. So for those of you who dared to chase your dreams, you're gonna find yourself rewarded with happiness, fulfillment and success. So get out there, do what you love because the sky's the limit. Okay, this is the narrative that every coach is pushing in the online space including me because I do want you to dream big and I do believe that you can reach for the stars and that you shouldn't underestimate the power of your passion and your determination. But what about those of us that are raising families and dreaming big, it definitely looks a little different for us. A question that I get so often is how do I juggle it all? How do I stay present and enjoy the little moments when I'm trying to meet deadlines, have meetings scheduled and growing a business managing and building relationships on social media and actually having to work at my business and make it profitable.

Okay, take a deep breath, it's all gonna be okay, I promise, I am going to teach you right now how to stay present in the little moments of life so that you can compartmentalize when you need to be wearing your business hat and when you need to be wearing your mom hat. So what we generally call the present is really just a small slice of time that we focus our attention on. But if we're not careful, life literally will pass you by while you're stuck focusing on either the past or worrying about the future. And that's why it's so important to stay present in those little moments of life. It's easy to get caught up in our day to day routines, forget to enjoy the simpler things. But if we take a step back and savor the small moments, we're going to find that life is actually quite beautiful. The next time that you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed, try to focus on your breath and just be present in the moment. You may be surprised at how much better you feel.

We all have those moments though where we get so caught up in our lives that we forget to appreciate the present. These little moments are what make life worth living and we should take time to savor them. I hate, I absolutely hate when people tell me like, oh cherish these tiny years. They only last for so long, you only have a young kid for four years and then they become school age and blah blah blah blah blah, all the things, the reason why I hate them so much, it's because they're so true and I do not want to wish away these little years that I have with my kids because I only get them once with each one of my kids, but I am busy growing a business and scaling and chasing my dreams and I think that's important too to teach my kids that it's okay to dream big to work hard and to go after it, but we have to have that Fine line and no 1 to appreciate the people and the things that you have in your life.

So how, how do you do this? What does that look like? So the first thing is that you need to make time for your kids every day, you're like, yeah, I do that, I get them on the bus, I get them to school, I get them dressed, I feed them. But the key to making time for your kids every day is to approach this challenge with a positive mindset instead of thinking all of the things you have to accomplish during the course of the day or all the things you have to do to be mom, I want you to shift your focus to all of the ways in which spending time with your kids will enrich both of your lives, for example, taking them on, walks through the park or engaging in their favorite activities, like playing games or reading books together can help deepen your relationship and give you both a sense of joy and fulfillment. Honestly, nine minutes of intentional conversation at a time is all your kids really need. So if you are trying to meet a deadline For something, spend that nine minutes of intentional time playing their favorite game, reading a book and talking about it and then allow them to play independently while you are building your business, but cherish that time that you have with them be present when you're reading that book or playing that game.

There are some simple things that you can do to optimize this precious time, like setting aside a half an hour each morning before work to spend one on one with your kid doing whatever they enjoy most or during the day, if you're working from home and have your kids at home with you, you can set aside time at night. We really like to talk to our kids about what the best part of their day was. Let them pick a story, we read it to them. There are all sorts of different ways that you can be intentional with your time with your kids. And one of those ways is to put away your phone and other distractions, just pay attention to your kids for just a short amount of time. And I know that that's really hard when you have clients or staff messaging you and asking you things and needing things from you. But if you have not figured out or actually physically written down your priorities, because I talked about this a lot. So if you're new to the podcast, you need to know what your priorities are.

That is what is going to allow you to understand where your time is best spent. Are your kids your priority? If they are then that 9, 10, 15 minutes, however much time you're being intentional with them, it needs to be that priority and nothing else matters. Instagram doesn't matter. That Phone call that's coming in can wait 15 minutes until you can call him back. It will be okay. The world will not end for you to spend that time being intentional with your kids, the next thing is just paying attention to them and what they're saying and how they're feeling as a parent, it is so easy for me to just brush off. If I'm in the middle of something, yep, yep, just hold on a minute, mommy will get to it and there are times you guys, I'm not saying that every time your kid comes to you have to stop what you're doing and pay attention to them and hang on their every word that that creates entitlement and a whole host of other things that's a completely different show.

But when they come to you and they are upset about something, listen to them talk about how they're feeling, Try to understand where, where they're coming from, This can be challenging at times, especially if you have multiple Children or if your kid tends to keep their emotions bottled up. However, it's important to make this time and effort two regular to regularly check in with your kids whether that means asking questions directly or observing their behavior. And and there's what they're speaking to you or to other people around you by staying in attuned to your Children's emotional state. You can actually help them deal with their stressors and traumatic experiences in a healthier way. This is just one of the one of the major ways that it's easy to brush off and not pay pays close attention to when we're busy and we're stressed and we're dreaming big and we're trying to get all the things done. But this is one of the most important things that you can do for your kids. So the next time that your child starts talking about something that's troubling them, don't brush it off, listen closely and and let them know and understand that you care and what they're saying is important to you because eventually they'll just stop coming to you to share their problems and that breaks my heart as a parent to think about.

And so in the back of my mind, when they come to me, even if I'm in the middle of something and they're really upset. I that's a priority for me. I want them to be able to handle stress and handle their emotions and that's when I need to be present for them. The next thing is, is that I'm sure you're already all doing this. But just being involved in their lives going to those soccer games, reading them bedtime stories. This comes down to knowing what your non negotiables are for me. I will, I'm okay with someone else taking my kids to dance. I'm ok if my husband goes insists to dance or sits to gymnastics and I stay home and I'm working on something that's okay, but missing a dance recital or a school event. Those are non negotiables for me. Those are not happening. I spent a lot of years teaching and my mom going on field trips with my kids while they were in preschool. They got to go on a lot of field trips and my mom or Trent went on every single one of them because I could not leave my classroom to go on a field trip with my own kids, which was heartbreaking to me.

I remember tears in my eyes as I watched them get on the bus and that's non negotiable for me anymore. I will be the one that gets to do that with them because that's important to me and building that relationship with my kids. The last thing here is this isn't the last thing. I just lied. There's a lot of things here. This is going to be one of our longer episodes and I apologize for that, but just showing your kids that you love them unconditionally. There's nothing more important than showing them that that you love them and that you demonstrate unconditional acceptance of them. This means that you're always there for them listening when they need to talk, supporting them in their fears and insecurities, But it also means being willing to show your kids that you are not perfect too. And by that, I mean, not judging or criticizing them if they make a mistake or fail at something, but rather embracing them exactly as they are and encouraging and nurturing your kids individuality, their inner light and helping them grow into being confident, resilient adults because that's going to equip them with the tools and wisdom that they need for their own success.

And if you want your kids to know that you love them unconditionally, you need to start by loving yourself and showing them how to do that your authentic self deserves nothing less than unconditional love. And neither neither does your kids and that all goes along with this, having these big dreams and chasing after them, that's part of it teaching your kids that that that is a life worth living. You also like I just said, we just really need to focus on the mistakes are okay, they need to they need to know this because in this life we're all going to make them and sooner or later our kids learn and embrace it, they're they're going to be so much better off because of it. So I have four ways here that I just want to touch on really quickly on how you can do that because as a parent myself, this is really hard for me to do because we all want to see our kids be high achievers and go after their dreams and have great worth, have great work ethic and all of those things, but being a good role model for them, if you're constantly berating yourself for your own mistakes, guess what your kids are going to pick up on that.

So instead try modeling, being calm and accepting of mistakes and willingness to learn from them and having that conversation with them is important. What did we learn from this today next is just encouraging open communication with them, making sure that they feel comfortable coming to you with their mistakes, assure them that you're not going to judge them, but that you'll be there to help them learn from whatever mistake they've made, help them see them as opportunities when your kids make a mistake, help them see how to grow and learn from it, emphasize that they can use this experience to become even smarter and more competent in the future and then reward their effort, not just the results, it's important to praise your kids efforts even when they don't achieve the desired outcome. I think that this is this is huge to do this. That is one of the missing pieces that parents often don't get in. We are so good at saying you did it. That's amazing, great job. But what about the effort they put in when they don't get the results that they want, you worked so hard.

I am so proud of you for doing that. It maybe didn't end the way we wanted it to. But you know what you putting in the work that you did and the effort and the heart and the passion. That's what really matters. And guess what? Next time we'll try, we'll try it again and it'll be okay. We also need to encourage our kids to just be themselves. They're naturally curious, creative and full of potential and it's our job as parents to help them uncover their gifts and passions and use those gifts to build a happy and successful life. one way to instill this sense of confidence is by setting a good example. It all comes down to so many things for kids are taught no, so many things for kids are caught and not taught. We think we need to teach our kids how to do all of these things, but they're catching what we're doing and what we're saying and how we're reacting. I see it all the time with my own kids.

My least desirable traits come out in my oldest more often then I would like to admit and every time I have to stop myself from being angry with her because I'm like, you know what she's only doing what she's seen. This is what she's caught. No matter what I'm teaching her, I have to be that example for her in doing this, you're going to help foster these same qualities in your kids, the calm, the stress management, the dreaming, big, all of those things that we want our kids to know how to do. They're going to catch that from watching you do it. We also need to make sure to praise them for their unique talents, listening closely when they share their feelings or ideas and never criticizing them for simply being who they are by creating a safe space for your kids to be themselves. You can help pave the way for a lifetime of success and fulfillment for them and that's that's how we stay present with them. That is how we build a relationship that allows us to grow together as moms and kids and not sacrifice our dreams in the process.

Another thing that we have to do is to embrace change because it is a part of life and and while it can be difficult to adapt to new situations, change can also be an opportunity for your growth and your kids growth, accept the change, accept that change is inevitable. Don't try to resist or fight it and be open to new experiences, embracing the unfamiliar in it and venture outside of your comfort zone, You're going to be surprised by what you discover about yourself. Other ways to be present in the moment is to let go of the past. Change can be a chance for a fresh start. Don't hold onto old baggage release it, forgive it, move forward and have a clean slate. Keeping positive, see change as an opportunity, not a threat, approach it with excitement and optimism because as this changes taking place, if you're worrying about the past or worrying about the future, you're not present in these little moments that that could lead to big moments of happiness and you have to have faith and trust that everything is going to happen for a reason and that you're going to end up exactly where you're meant to be.

Another way that I really encourage my clients too, be present in the tiny moments is to show gratitude for what you have. It's one of the simplest things that we can do to change our lives for the better, and it's to be grateful for what we have, it sounds easy enough, but in practice, it can be challenging. Our natural tendency is to focus on what's missing in our lives rather than on the wonderful things that we already have. But if we make a conscious effort to shift our perspective and start counting our blessings, we can radically improve our overall sense of well being. There are so many benefits to practicing gratitude. I mean for one it helps us to appreciate the good things in our lives instead of taking them for granted. It has been shown to increase feelings of happiness and life satisfaction also while reducing stress and anxiety. And most importantly, gratitude helps us cultivate positive relationships with others.

When we take the time to express our thanks, we send a strong message that we value and appreciate others. So how can you start being more grateful? One helpful approach is to keep a gratitude journal each day, take a few moments write down things you're thankful for. They can be big or small from your comfortable bed to a great conversation you had with a friend, write it down Trent and I did this for at least 30 days, if not 60 days to make gratitude, be more of a focal point in our lives. And instead of having to write it down every day, we wanted it to be present in the tiny moments so that we could be more present during our day. And so every night we would write each write Down five things that we were grateful for throughout the day, like tiny things like that. He would remember to pack the salad dressing in my lunch for me so that I had the right salad dressing when I would order a salad at school, Like simple little things, but when I started paying attention to those tiny moments, I realized how often he or my kids or the people around me were doing amazing things for me that I was taking for granted and the same for him.

And now as we go through our days, we just naturally pick up on those tiny things and recognize them right away because we have literally trained our brains to focus on the good and the not so good, just kind of rolls right off because that's no longer a focus in our lives. It allows us to be present in the little tiny moments and it has been amazing. So that being said, we all want to achieve our big dreams but it's important not to lose sight of the present in the process by being mindful and staying in the moment. We can enjoy our lives more while still working towards our goals. I want to know what are some of your own big dreams? Think about it right now. What are some of your biggest dreams? Yeah, those, Oh so good. You can still chase those and be present in those, in those tiniest moments with your family, and your friends and the world around you. If you liked this episode, be sure to leave me a review.

Stay tuned for our regular scheduled episodes each Tuesday thursday and until next time I'm gonna be here, cheering you on

Ep. 57 Dreaming Big and Still Being Present in the Little Moments
Ep. 57 Dreaming Big and Still Being Present in the Little Moments
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