The Marissa Rehder Show

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Ep. 61 Giving Yourself Grace

by Marissa Rehder
June 9th 2022

In this week’s episode, Marissa is talking about what it means to give yourself grace AND how to actually do it..

These aren't just generic suggestions either, they are 8 tips that you can s... More

Hey there, welcome back to it. If you enjoyed this episode, leave it if I want to know is truly icing on the cake, you felt this episode, I want to know exactly how I've been able to take your balls per se of entrepreneur life the importance and dive into how you can build a life scaling without sacrificing your selling like your family or your business in the press for your family to keep going. You're listening to the marisa raider show, I'm a mom of three farm wife and creative entrepreneur who thrives on helping dreamers endures make the most of their God given talents. You can consider me your newest BFF who will be in there to cheer you on and give you practical tools to use in your business and your life all while empowering you in your faith, providing you with hard truths and motivation to get you chasing your dreams. I am bringing you actionable tips to uplevel your life and business as a busy mom and believer, I'll share laughs and encouragement with you as you chase after your God given dreams, I believe that you've been given this one life and purpose for you to live out and if you're ready to be the rock star you're meant to be, then you're in the right place.

Let's get started. Hey there, it's Marissa here and I am a mom preneurs or if you're anything like me, you probably find yourself feeling guilty a lot. You might feel like you're not doing enough or that you're falling short in some way, but did you know that giving yourself Grace is one of the most important things that you can do for your business today? I'm going to share with you exactly what it looks like to give yourself Grace why it's necessary and how it has personally changed not only my life and business, but the lives of all of my priority people. For today's episode, I want to reintroduce myself before we get started. Hi, I'm Marissa, a mom, wife and an entrepreneur. Oh yeah, and I'm also recovering perfectionist. What's that? You're a perfectionist too? Well, welcome to the chaos that is growing a business and raising a family. And I want to start off by chatting a little bit about what it is to give yourself grace and how this one thing has changed not only my life in business, but the lives of my entire family.

Grace is an amazing thing. And it's one of the things that makes Christianity and my beliefs so unique. Other religions teach you that you must earn your way to salvation or to heaven, but Christianity teaches us that salvation is a free gift from God. Grace is what allows us to have that personal relationship with him and it's something that we should be thankful for every single day. So we know that we freely have God's grace. So why is it so hard to extend that same grace to ourselves. Well, I'm gonna be honest here, that's because we're human, it's hard for us to truly comprehend how God can be so gracious to us in turn making it so much more difficult for us to even fathom offering it to ourselves. It's not always easy to offer yourself grace, but it's so, so important. Remember that you are human and that you are doing the best that you can allow yourself to make mistakes and then to learn from them.

Be patient with yourself as you grow and change and then extend the same grace that you would give to a friend. Be kind to yourself, give yourself the space and the time that you need to heal. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself and move on, offer yourself grace and watch your life transform. When I started looking at my imperfections as areas for growth and learning and not as mistakes. My whole life changed. I used to have so much anxiety over things I said or didn't say or did or didn't do, I wasn't sleeping well. My mind was literally a living breathing meme. You know that one that's like sleep what sleep three am hits my brain is busy rehashing the last 20 years of conversations I've had Where I was completely awkward or had made a mistake like that time and 5th grade where we made posters for the hallway and Mindset Heat attack instead of heart attack.

Like really brain I'm 33 years old and we're still concerned with that. I know it sounds cliche but when you catch your brain in cycles like that, all you need to do is say Brain, you need to stop. We don't care what spelling error we made in the fifth grade. What stupid random fact we regurgitated out of awkwardness at a funeral 10 years ago or how I yelled at my kids last week and then proceed to tell yourself the same advice you would give a friend who was in that same thought cycle. This will not be something that happens instantaneous. You may have to have this conversation with your brain time and time again because you're literally rewiring portions of it that have been eroding since childhood. But guess what? There's good news. It can be done and I am living breathing proof of it. So what else can you do to give yourself Grace? I'm going to share my top eight ways. So let's go first things first. You're not perfect and that's okay.

You're not supposed to be perfect, you're supposed to be authentic real honest. You're supposed to be flawed and vulnerable. You're supposed to make mistakes and learn from them. You're supposed to be human and being human means that you will never be perfect. But that's okay because perfection is overrated. It's boring. It's not real and it's definitely not attainable. So embrace those imperfections, embrace your humanity and know that it's okay to be imperfect because when you're imperfect, you're also perfectly you and that is something to be celebrated not hidden away. So celebrate those flaws on them and love yourself imperfections and all. As long as you're showing up every day, learning from all of those things that you may see as imperfections and trying to make yourself better. That's all you can do. That's what human being human is all about. Next thing you do not have to do this all on your own.

You can ask for help. I say this in almost every dang episode because it is that important to your sanity. It's okay to delegate tasks. You can build a support network whatever you do, just do not try to go it alone. Trying to do everything yourself is a recipe for burnout. It's important to accept help when it's offered and to be willing to ask for help when you need it. When you're trying to juggle too many balls, it's okay To let one drop. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to do everything perfectly. Just do your best and ask for help when you need it. Whether that is sharing drive time with a fellow parent or paying someone to come in and clean your house or laying boundaries with your spouse of where you need them to pick up the slack because you can't continue to do it all. Or maybe you start teaching your kids independence have episodes to talk about all of these things. So if you want more information on how to do that, hit the archives because they are there, the next thing I wanted to do is to set realistic goals for yourself.

I talk about this a lot. Also one important key thing to success is setting realistic goals. Goals that are too high are going to leave you feeling disappointed and discouraged while goals that are too low won't challenge you to reach your full potential. So how do you find the happy medium start by taking a close look at your current skills and your current knowledge. If you're just starting out, your goals should reflect where you are now as you gain experience, you can gradually stretch yourself further. The key is to set goals that are achievable, but that also require effort and perseverance with realistic goals, you'll always have something to strive for which will ensure that you stay motivated and focused on your long term objectives. You can do it. I know you can. This next one. Mm this one's, this one's a doozy for the overachievers in the crowd. You need to know your limits and stop over committing. We all have the Same 24 hours in a day.

But how we choose to spend that time is what makes us unique. Just as important as how you spend your time. Is recognizing when you need to say no, say it with me, no Practice It one More Time. No, it's easy to fall into the trap of over committing whether it's saying yes to every social event or taking on too many responsibilities at work or within your business? However, spreading yourself too thin can lead to burnout. And worst of all resentment. Instead of trying to do it all, we need to learn to focus on what's truly important. Honoring our limits doesn't make us weak. It shows that we are strong enough to put our own needs first. So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, remember that it's okay to say no, your time is precious. So use it wisely and run your commitments through your VIP method. Does this align with my values? Does it fit the intentions that I have set?

And is it part of my priority list? Go from there and form your boundaries? You've got this all right. Next thing you're probably tired of me telling you this too. But once again I can't say it enough. You need to celebrate your accomplishments. This is how you give yourself grace. You are probably your own worst critic. You focus on everything you did wrong and you beat yourself up for no reason at all because we've already discussed how being perfect is not a real thing, but that's not healthy and it's definitely not productive. So today I want you to take a moment to celebrate your accomplishments no matter how small they may seem. Did you get out of bed this morning? That's an accomplishment. Did you brush your teeth? There's another one. Did you make it through the day without snapping at anyone? Amazing. We all have big dreams and goals that we want to achieve, but it's important to remember that life is made up of a series of small successes, so give yourself a pat on the back for everything you've accomplished today, no matter how big or small and tomorrow do the same thing and pretty soon you have a long list of accomplishments that you can be proud of.

Alright, next tip. Stop comparing yourself to other mom preneurs, so easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others. You see another mom crushing it on social media, You can't help but feel that twinge of envy, maybe you start to doubt your own abilities or question whether you're really cut out for this whole entrepreneurship thing, but the truth is that comparison is a dangerous game. It's only going to lead to feelings of insecurity and self doubt. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own journey, celebrate your own successes, find inspiration in the women around you, but do not compare yourself to them. You are on your own unique path and you have everything you need to create something amazing, trust yourself, believe in your own abilities and that is the surest way to success and when you're not comparing yourself to them, seek out support from those other mom preneurs, there's nothing quite like being an entrepreneur, you're constantly juggling a million different things trying to maintain some semblance of balance in life.

Mhm We've talked about that, we know that that's like some mystical unicorn, but it can be tough, but know that you're not alone in this, there's plenty of other mom preneurs out there who understand exactly what you're going through, so don't be afraid to seek out their support because when you're looking at them, crushing it, they're looking at you and thinking the same thing. So join forces and create momentum together. Don't be afraid of other moms online. There are so many women out there, you're going to find the right the right ones to hang out with. So whether you're joining a local Mom preneurs group or connecting with other moms, you can find that group of women for encouragement and support and who knows you might even make some lifelong friends in the process. I know I sure have some of the best friends, I prayed for these friends for years and they are showing up one x 1 in exactly the way that I need them to and I love getting to wake up every day and be that same person for them, so don't go it alone, reach out, find the support you need from other mom preneurs, you'll be glad you did and if you're like, man, I do not even know where to start with this.

I literally feel like I'm on my own island, reach out to me, I got you, I will find you the right people, I will hook you up and they will become your friends and we will all be happy successful women together, it's going to be great. I can see it now. All right, my last tip here is the hardest one for me. I still have not fully embraced it, but I'm I'm working on it. It's embracing the chaos. I am often asked, how do I do it all? How do I manage to juggle being a mom and a business owner and a wife and this and that, and still have time for all these other things. And the truth is it's not easy. There are days when I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions, but there's also something incredibly exhilarating about living in this constant state of chaos, because it means that I'm constantly pushing myself to be better to do more and to be more present in each moment. It's challenging, but it's also incredibly rewarding and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

So if you're feeling overwhelmed by the chaos of motherhood and entrepreneurship, know that you're not alone and know that it's okay to embrace the messiness of it all because out of that chaos comes some of the most beautiful moments of your life, Give yourself permission to make to make mistakes, give yourself permission to make mistakes and embrace that chaos and know that that is part of living. It is such a great part of living and I used to get anxiety just thinking about that and now here I am living in the midst of it and honestly I've never been happier. I really hope that by sharing my own story and struggles that I've shown you that you are not alone. The most important thing to remember as an entrepreneur, you don't have to do it all on your own. Ask for help when you need it, set those realistic goals for yourself and know your limits. Most importantly, celebrate your accomplishments. Do not compare yourself to other mom preneurs.

They likely have their own set of challenges and stresses and seek out support from other women who are doing what you're doing, not necessarily the exact same thing that you're doing, but share that same desire and fire for living a life bigger than yourself, they will understand what you're going through and can offer invaluable advice and encouragement, embrace that chaos. It's part of being a Mom Preneurs, so give yourself some grace and know that you know what, no matter what you're going through, I'm going to be here cheering you on Alright. If you enjoyed this episode, have on over leave it a five star review, it's truly icing on the cake and if you felt this episode deep in your soul and want to know exactly how I've been able to juggle all the balls per se of mantra your life, head to the show notes and book a call with me. I can't wait to meet you and dive into how you can build a life of happiness without sacrificing yourself, your family or your business in the process, right?

Ep. 61 Giving Yourself Grace
Ep. 61 Giving Yourself Grace
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