The Marissa Rehder Show

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Ep. 69- Woman to Woman: Networking, Friendship and Fun!

by Marissa Rehder
August 25th 2022
00:31:35
Description

In today's episode, Marissa is interviewing Rebekah Scott, one of the speakers for the upcoming Woman to Woman conference. She is an inspiration in business, faith and motherhood. 

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Hey there, I am so excited for you to be listening to this episode of the Mercer writer show, it is being brought to you by the first annual Woman to woman conference, I am so excited to be putting on and co hosting this event for women in the Northwest Iowa region, it's going to be fantastic. But don't worry if you don't live in Iowa we are offering virtual tickets as well, so stay tuned and, And I'm going to be introducing you to one of my mentors that I've looked up to for almost 20 years today, so be sure to stay tuned and learn all of the amazing things that Rebecca has to share with us. Oh and did I mention she's going to be one of the speakers at the conference. So if you are totally vibing with this episode, make sure that you check out the show notes at the end and get your ticket. You're listening to the marisa raider shell. I'm a mom of three farm wife and creative entrepreneur who thrives on helping dreamers endures make the most of their God given talents.

You can consider me your newest BFF who will be in there to cheer you on and give you practical tools to use in your business and your life all while empowering you in your faith, providing you with hard truths and much motivation to get you chasing your dreams. I am bringing you actionable tips to uplevel your life and business as a busy mom and believer. I'll share laughs and encouragement with you as you chase after your God given dreams, I believe that you've been given this one life and purpose for you to live out and if you're ready to be the rock star you're meant to be, then you're in the right place. Let's get started. Alright, you guys, I am here today with someone that I have known for many, many years. I was in middle school when I first met her and I have looked up to her ever since. It's kind of surreal having her on the podcast here today. But I want to introduce you to Rebecca. She's an amazing woman and she's got so much going on in her life and she is just a light to all women. And so Rebecca, go ahead and introduce yourself to everyone listening.

Well, I am Rebecca scott, but I do have to pass here because Marissa, now I'm like, oh my gosh, that is how we met. We met at church camp. Yeah, engaged. It was like, This is like an ongoing joke for everybody in my business. Especially those that work for me. They're like, Oh, you must know her from church camp. Oh, you must, I'm like, yes, we counseled that camp for 16 years together. So it's a really special place for that. But that is, that's awesome. You were there this summer? We got engaged. Okay, so I'm sorry, I had to pause that moment there. Um, I'm Rebecca scott and I get to do all kinds of fun things. I'm owner and designer of Rebecca scott designs, we design purses and accessories that are really fun and we allow you to get to design your own or there's plenty of ready to ship. And then of course, as I was doing that, I wanted a little bit more. So then I thought, um, I need to do podcasting because I have some systems that I use for my own family, which I'll tell you about my family second. So I thought, well the podcast will help me just tell everybody what I'm doing and just help give ideas that we can muddle through this awesome life together.

And then I wrote a book based on that. And now I have an academy also, which is just awesome digital course so that I don't want people to feel chaotic anymore and I don't think it's awesome to feel hustle and chaotic. So I wanted to make sure that people knew that God didn't create chaos. We do. And so too, just like live into that. Um, but I have four kiddos, I'm married to a farmer and rancher who is awesome and he owns his own construction business, We're managing quite a few things there. And four kiddos, Gus is one boy and three girls and Gus is 15 Iverson, 12 Rosalind nine and six and jane is seven and they're all in three different schools in the same school district as I'm sure listeners can relate to like, okay what, all the things and um they're just awesome and we, we really love farm life, so we like to just linger in the evenings if we can not run into activities and just embrace all the beauty that God gave us right here. And that's a little bit about what I'm doing and I love to do speaking in podcast with Marissa and other people as well. That is amazing and I can relate to that so much because we have three of our own kids and we're not quite to the ages where we're chasing them every night of the week yet, but having them, we're in two different buildings already and we're only in second grade in kindergarten and farm life and just having big dreams and that was part of the reason why I wanted to have you as a speaker at our upcoming Woman to woman conference because you are kind of like the epitome in my mind of a woman who has dreams who goes after them, but you're not hustling yourself to death doing it.

No, no, I mean there are seasons when I had to pull it back in but I just promised myself I would never, I shouldn't say never right, but that I just, I knew there had to be a better way because you know, we watch people that climb the ladder to whatever their goal is and then when they get there, they're burnt out. So I would rather have the scene where you climb the ladder and you're cheering and brought people along with you and they're cheering as well. So that's why I try to keep that visual going. I love that visual and you you don't just like talk the talk, you walk the walk. I mean you have, what is it around 20 employees that all work from home so that they can continue to serve their families and provide an income and follow their purpose in life, which I think is so amazing. Yeah, I always want to give permission here to everybody. It's a team of 20 not all our employees just so we frame it up right? Like their contractors and get to work in their own homes. But yes, I do have a team of 20 and our biggest focus is family. So we're extra flexible for the things that really matter because in the end I think God will not ask me like how many persons did you make and how many people were on your team?

He will ask me how I showed them, jesus. And so that is like an ongoing conversation I have when people ask for permission for days off or whatever it is, it's like, okay, yes, absolutely, let's be flexible. Yes, I love that. I what you just said there is when you get there and he's like, how many persons did you make? Like that sounds absolutely ridiculous, but in our hustle culture, that's what we're ingrained to think is like how can I get there the fastest, how can I make the biggest impact financially and how much can I push or how many courses can I sell or whatever it is that our businesses, you know, entail. But in the end it's all about that journey of getting there first off and and how are people going to remember you? Are they gonna remember you for the amount of persons that you made? Are they going to remember how you made them feel and the impact that you had on their life? Yes, it's so interesting. So I did a I love to take courses. I obviously created my own but one of them was writing your own obituary and I highly recommend anything called Business Made Simple University of this marisa.

Fantastic. Oh my gosh, just really fantastic marketing. Everybody will love it. Um One of his courses, would you write your own obituary And I do stuff like that since I was little. It's a little bit weird and probably morbid but I'm always thinking like, okay well what do I want people to say about me when I've got? So I wrote this and I read it probably 3-5 mornings a week depending on the week and one of my things in there is I want people to leave with a renewed sense of what they too want to accomplish. So they're not accomplishing what I told them, you know, I gave them some life hacks and some productivity things. All valuable things, but what I want them to do is take the course or listen to me speak or have an experience with the person, they're like, you know what, I think I can do something and then whatever it is they want to do and then they'll have joined that too. So that is my ongoing line that I'm reading to myself frequently so that, that is what I'm aiming at the top of the hill. Yes, I love that. I have, I've made friends with a fellow coach. She used to live in Iowa now she lives in Wisconsin but she worked in nursing homes, she managed some of the largest nursing homes in the area, you know, in Eastern Iowa and she said that that's what made her want to leave corporate and go into coaching people because no one ever regretted, you know, like I didn't work enough days, I didn't make enough money, I didn't, you know, do all of those hustle things.

It was, I didn't spend enough time with my family. I didn't have enough joy. I didn't do the things that made me light up and be passionate about what I'm doing and I think that that's so empowering for women to think about, you know, we talk about when you set goals, you have the end in mind, right? You see, start with that end goal and it's hard for us to think about the end. It really is. But you know, so many of us start our own businesses because we want freedom. We want either financial freedom or time freedom or to be our own boss and make our own decision freedom and we are all working towards that, you know, generational wealth that we can pass on to our kids so that they can do even more great in the world and and that kind of thing. But I always have to remind myself that we're not just passing on generational money, like what is wealth really mean to me as a person and I always have to like classify and clarify that to my clients.

Like wealth is not what wealth means to the world. To me wealth means that we had a wealth of love and I had patience with my kids and all of these things and I, I just feel like that's kind of what you're talking about here is leaving that legacy behind and setting that example for our kids because more is caught by them than what we verbally are teaching them and we have to be that example, not only for our kids, but for other women in business. And so that's why I'm so excited to have you be a part of this event. I'm excited too. I think it's always fun to remind women, you don't have to do all of it and just like you said like the end result should not be like on paper and a spreadsheet with an accountant in a room after you're gone. It should be about like the Children in the room and the family and friends around. Like she made a difference. Like Yes, yeah, that's what it should be about. It's not about the actual wealth and the money exchange. Absolutely. And one of the things that I have found and I'm sure you have found the same, but success for me doesn't necessarily come through like how much income I'm bringing in or how much revenue I'm bringing in, but it's about the people I'm surrounding myself with and the friendships and the relationships that I've been able to generate by running and owning my own business.

Like the relationship with you like, yes, we knew each other 20 some years ago, a completely different life, but you know, now we're getting to connect on this on this other level and were able to come together and create this event for women to come to and learn from and and make friends because I used to pray to God and people like, really, that's what you asked for, but I asked for friends. Yes. Yes, Yes. So interesting. Yeah, I just wanted like minded women that had big dreams that didn't look at me like I, I was crazy when I was trying when I was doing all the things and and here he is providing in tenfold things and people in my life that I never would have imagined. And so I can you talk a little bit about some of the relationships and things that you've been able to develop throughout your time in business. 100%. This makes me really geared up to actually because I have the same prayer for myself and for my Children and I think this is a unique time in history. I want them to have, I've been praying for them to have friendships that are that are deep but that also challenge them.

You know, like they learn to get upset with a friend and then repair with a friend and and learn what they're learning from this friend because they can't see it for themselves and that sort of thing. Um, I can't help but think when you put on events like this, what kudos to doing that because it does require so much but the trajectory if you will of what an event like that happens when you pause as a woman and you get the ticket and you go and you're like, wait a minute. It reframes up what your legacy is going to be just by spending however many hours it might be, it's such a beautiful thing when women events are having because you might need these friendships that can deepen that were just random at the moment. But that can deepen and that you find like minded people there where you're like, wait a minute. I don't have to like, you know, I think of the uh the negative part of it, you know like starting your own business, you're like, well you're gonna have to stay up till four in the morning, you're gonna have to get up at four in the morning and you're just gonna have to really retired maybe, but maybe just for a season. And so to see other women there, they're like, here's what I did and it worked and for you to have different examples of how women are doing it that more aligned with what it is for you personally.

I think that's great because I do think there are seasons when it is gonna be nuts, but it shouldn't be an ongoing thing. Season means that there is an end. Um but the friendships can continue and so the people that you will get to meet at the event are ones that might be in the middle of it at the beginning or at the end of it or like me still developing things, they're like, wait a minute. But you did try this. How did that go? So anybody that's putting on these events right now, especially post 22 20 is so valuable because we are starved of human connection. We think we have it. You know, we think we're like, okay, well I have X amount of friends on facebook or you know, I have so many people on linkedin or whatever, but you don't you don't really truly have connection with them or an in depth conversation, you just have content that you're reading, right? So when you go to events and you meet the woman and you shake your hand and you relate, there is a connection that happens that can never happen on a facebook live like or an instagram real like you are not going to relate, it's still back to humanness and so I love that the events are coming back and that we're like not necessarily blowing them out with 500 women but we're collecting 100 and 5200 women that go okay let's let's go back to how we make friend in middle school, like you make eye contact, you learn their name, you learn about their families, you learn about what drives them and what their passion and maybe you can collaborate together and not collaborate for the sake of content, but collaboration for the sake of building one another up.

Those are what I'm really craving and everybody is so kudos humorous have put in an event that will nurture that and then um like I call it the 1% 1% like you'll be like okay I met that one gal and I did grab a card and I'm going to get to know her, so it's gonna be amazing for those sort of connections that were so starved from yes I could not agree more. And I have been to a Few in person events just in the last, you know, right before 2020 and then just in the last couple of months and every time I walk out of one of those events, I have a completely different energy level than I did when I walked in the door. Like there's excitement and there a little bit of nerves as you walk in the door and when you walk out it is like a confidence of you know what, I was just surrounded by 100 and 50 women who are, we don't necessarily have the exact same goals or the exact same mission, but we're all doing one thing in common and that is striving to make the most of this life in the best way that we possibly can.

And I think that there's something for that energy when you walk out that motivation, because we both know that motivation is not something that you're just born with or you know, like some people and you've always, as long as I've known, you, you've always been a highly motivated person, but it's like a muscle, it's not, you didn't just wake up one day and be like, guess what guys, I have motivation all the time. You use it over and over and over again. It's that self discipline and those habits that you've built and I think that that's that beginning motivation that you need to get started and that excitement that's gonna start coming back when we have these events and I'm so excited for women to experience it. Plus it's so much fun now because everything is like google, you know, like you can google how to be more productive, how to build it, like you can do all of that, but again, it's missing the human part of it. So like we're two or three or more gathered, I am near like the bible verse, I think oh my gosh, if you go to this event expecting like motivation, like spell out for yourself what is the feelings you want to usher in?

And because it's a goal when you get there, you'll start attracting the people that are like, I just really need healing. You know, some go for inspiration and they want to be really energized on the way out and some will go for like I just need connection that helps heal all the damage that in the missed connection and they may walk out with two or three friends. So like what you aim for in the feelings that you want at this event, you will attract that and then you get to walk away with those feelings and hopefully a lot not, hopefully I'm positive. Lots and lots of connections That aligned with what you're trying to aim for two. Yes, absolutely. When you were talking earlier about how, you know, we have this idea when we start a business or we run a business that we need to, you know, we've all seen the books like the five a.m. Club or you know the things that tell you like you have to be up at five a.m. And you have to follow this strict schedule and this is what the most successful people in the world do and it becomes just more things to do, like more boxes to check every day and more overwhelmed. And I love how you said that there are times where you know, you have to hustle your heart out to propel yourself forward, but it can't be a constant and that it just needs to be a little bit of a season and I think that our society is trying to convince us of work life balance so much that we just think that they need to be completely separate.

Do you notice that in your businesses and the endeavors that both you and your husband do because you both own your own businesses and and work from home a little bit and you know, all those kind of things, do you find that there isn't really separation like that you have to, you know, I feel like your work is being part of your life. How are you supposed to separate that out? Yeah, I think it's more about harmonizing rather than balance because remember how there's, I fall so many podcasts and listed so many things, you know, like balance means that one is up and one is down and yes, like I said, there are seasons for that, but I like to think of it more as harmonizing the roles together. So it's really communicating with Nicholas about like, okay, what is? So tonight we're gonna have a lasagna meal and usher and we start school tomorrow, like okay, what are we gonna talk about? Like what is this season look like? And this season is a hairy season. So we're actually just going to say that like, okay, it's gonna look a little hairy because three kids, three different sports.

Um so like uh framing it up for them like this is what the season will look like, then they are aware of it. But then also saying, but you know what sunday's or like I frame up because I'm a farm and ranch life, like we need to have three meals at least three. I always aim for five, but it doesn't happen because this is a season, right? Three meals at the table because I need to connect with them. I need to make eye contact and find out like, wait, how is school going? And so that's one of the ways that we harmonize all the things, but also just remind yourself, like, like we talked about earlier, it's like, what do I want these kids to remember when they leave this home because unfortunately they have to leave at one point. Um will they remember the meals at the table, Will they remember writing the car to all the events, nope, they will probably remember the meals together and how mom and dad did like love each other through it. And um when I do a new business thing, I will say okay this season, I am going to have to be up super early and this is why, so I explained that to my husband.

So I get a permission if you will, even though it's not actually permission, but it's, it's just telling him like this is going to be this season because I need to complete this course or I need to complete whatever it is. Um it's just important to like open up all those lines with everybody in the family about what the season is and then it's easier to harmonize them because when they're frustrated like mom, you were supposed to be whatever I could say, we talked about this and then I can frame it and like here's the why. So I work life balance is definitely, I don't think they can be separated. I just, I don't want to live like that, I don't want to be in this brain in this brain and I know there's a lot of for why that's better, it didn't work for me, but harmonizing does work for me where I can say I need to concentrate for this next hours for whatever and then when I am done we will go for what girls and we can talk about it but let me have this hour to concentrate on this. So while that is separated it's still together because I'm reminding them afterwards we'll do this. Is that answering the question, do you think?

Yes. 100%. Because I agree. I think I think my brain does not work that way either. I even as a teacher could not separate my school life from from my home life either. Like it just did not work that way because my kids needed to understand that yes, they were my most important kids. But I also had 24 other kids that were a major part of my life every day for an entire year and then the next year we were going to repeat, we were going to do it all over again. And so you know, I think that our businesses, our jobs, whatever it is, are they're part of our livelihood. They're part of the reason why we get to do the things that we get to do and I think that it's important. Um I also think it's kind of a midwestern like work ethic thing that we instill that in our kids where they say see like my mom hustled when she had to hustle but she was also there to drop me off on the first day of school every year and she was there to pick me up afterwards, you know and those kind of things so that they can see that there's not necessarily that balance, but there are things that you know that we were going to, they were merging things were like you said they were harmonized and I think it's important to that they see whether it's your spouse or your Children, whatever stage of life that they see the joy you have in doing the work.

Like if you're complaining like, oh I gotta work first of all, maybe evaluate that and I could I could talk to you a lot about that. But like they need to see the joy that you have when you're working, that you're humming or that the review that they left, let's say you wrote a book you're starting to see and they're like this person, I ended up changing something for them. Read that to your spouse and your Children. So they also know what you're why is behind it because like, oh that's why mama does that. You know, I'll just frequently remind them like, oh my gosh or they'll get to see a customer's reaction when they get a fun purse or whatever. They'll send me a video and the girls think that's really cool. Like oh you did that mama like yes they did and that's why that's why I do this and that's why I encourage people and yeah, I think it's important for them to see your why behind what you're doing family the way you're doing it and you're why behind why you're doing work and the way that you do your work, maybe you do get work from four a.m. To eight a.m. And then you break great, tell them why and why does that work for you? I don't think there's a right or wrong way other than I don't recommend the separating them, but that's a stage of life for me right now.

So maybe that's why I'm saying that and that's subject to change. So maybe when everybody's out of the house I can like then really do all my work here and then I'll do all the family, I'm not sure yet, but for right now they just have to be emerged. It's just, yeah, I have clients that really struggle with that when they worked with other coaches first or they follow certain people on instagram and I'm and they are trying to implement the things that they are telling them to, you know, you gotta wake up and hustle before your kids are awake or you've got to stay up late and hustle after your kids are in bed and they're taking advice from somebody who doesn't even have kids who's not married, you know what I mean? And I think that that's that's part of that's part of our mission with this conference is like getting women who are in similar stages, you know together and to understand that maybe you can have that separation like you said, when the kids are out of the house and they're grown or if you're not married or if you know both you and your spouse are super career oriented and you don't have any kids involved and you're just have to walk the dog in the morning or whatever.

Like it does, it looks very, very different for different family units. And I think that that's a important that you mentioned that, that for your stage right now that you're in with the ages of your kids and just the size of your family and the amount of, you know, irons that you guys have on the fire because there's a lot of them. But I guarantee you that you thrive that way also. And the fact that you have systems in place is the key. I think to, first of all, I would say this do not take advice from anyone you wouldn't switch places with. Yes and just sit on that. So yeah, if you're getting coached great. Find out about their family life, find out about anything you can, would you switch places with them? Okay then you can take their advice and then, uh, the other thought, oh, that you said, I think too, like I like to merge the two of them, but I definitely have guidelines that I follow for myself to keep that. So you know, we don't let the kids enter things until they're nine years old. We messed up with our first one.

Like we always do, right, poor guy. Um, but wait, right? Yeah, we make them wait. And that's just what I call our family system, which is also part of my course. Like we just set up some rules and guidelines that help us keep that kind of merge, but yet also like, okay, this is why we do this and this is why we do this. So like set up guidelines for your family that work. But yet don't, I don't think that it has to involve the word hustle. Also, I think God bless you with every role that you have. Like there's a purpose that you're a daughter, there's a purpose that you're a wife and mother if you get that privilege, um an employee or maybe it's a boss, all of those. Do you not think that he gave those to you and will help you orchestrate them? Like it doesn't have to be chaotic. He gave you these roles and wants you to honor them. So just get organized and how you do it. But I don't think it has to involve a ton of hustle in seasons. I do always want to frame it up because if you currently our season for a big goal, you go for it sister, like you do the things, but remember it needs to have an endpoint in a celebration as well.

Yes. Oh, and I love that. You mentioned celebration because pretty sure my listeners get tired of me like pointing that out because I'm like, you have to celebrate all the things, not just the big monumental things at the end of the season, but like even those little tiny wins and I'm pretty sure that I can see their eyes rolling even though they're just listening to a podcast, they've heard it that many times, but every time a guest comes on and says that I'm like, see we're not lying, this is a real thing. Yes, and it's true too, because if you do not mark the success, the milestone or whatever, I don't care if it's potty training or if it's like we survived whatever it is, if you don't market, you're telling your subconscious you haven't arrived. So then there's that hustle muscle, it needs something to rest and go, okay, complete celebration and then you can restart again. It's that seasonal change like, okay, we made the goal, we're here and then advance to the next thing. But you have to have, you have to have celebrations, you're totally right and yes, people roll their eyes, but you need to have celebration. I agree. You need to have people that are going to celebrate it with you and not just feel like, yay good for you.

Like anyway, what I was talking about, you know, because I feel like those are the kind of friends that I had before and they didn't quite understand the, the celebration, like what are we really celebrating here? You know? And that was when I started making that prayer and it just all comes back to that like networking and finding those women that are like minded and understand that just because you're having success doesn't detract from the successes that I I'm having and then we're celebrating completely different things. But if you're celebrating, I'm right there with you and I will celebrate it just as hard. Like I love, it reminds me of something to say. Friends, bob goff quote, He's one of my favorite. Oh my gosh, I love everything about him. Um He says you won't be distracted by comparison if you are focused on your purpose, something of that effect. I think yeah. You know, if we're like, well I'm not going to celebrate it for them if you have, that would be a crummy friend. But um if you're concentrated on your purpose, everybody will want to celebrate with you the milestones along the way.

Yes. Oh, I love that. Is there anything else that you just are like, I need to tell them before we end our conversation or I'm gonna be really upset with myself when I get off this call. Uh No, just that, thank you for letting me, come on rusty, but I would just encourage everybody to just have just three minutes. Even if you need to set it on your timer. Uh set three minutes aside and decide what is the trajectory you want over the next six months. I'm not even gonna say a year, just over the next six months and why an event like this will help frame up for you Because if you sit in that three minutes and you're like, I have no idea, I'm so overwhelmed, I have no idea. Then get the ticket so that you can get refocused and something will click for you some some speakers, some person next to you, some person putting the welcome stick around you. Something will click of what you want. The trajectory over the next six months to happen. So take the time to think about that. And then of course the call to action would be, you need to get a ticket because there are not enough of these events happening.

It's going to take us years to heal from 2020. It is going to take us years and everyone's like we're back, we're bouncing back. Yes, but that was a thing. And so we need the healing and we need the connection and we get that through. Humans only podcasts are great. Books are great. Digital courses are great, but human connection is what will heal us and get us bounced back if you will. So get the ticket and do that. And then if you want to visit the encourage your academy dot com, that's my awesome digital course. I'd love to help you get organized in your systems in your home. So you don't feel that hustle. But you in fact can do both work and family life well. So that's what that the whole academy is about doing both work and family life well and it can happen. Oh my gosh! Well, thank you so much for being here today. A complete pleasure getting to have this conversation with you and I just know that you're going to resonate with so many women and I am so excited to continue to work together and for our upcoming conference and we will keep you guys all updated on all of the details but we hope that you will join us there.

Yes, thank you everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in today. I hope you enjoyed my conversation that I had with Rebecca and once again, if you loved today's episode, make sure you share it out with your friends and get your tickets for our upcoming Woman to woman conference. We can't wait to see you there.

Ep. 69- Woman to Woman: Networking, Friendship and Fun!
Ep. 69- Woman to Woman: Networking, Friendship and Fun!
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