Soul Growth with Jade Stoner

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Ep. 4: Why The Law Of Attraction Isn't Working For You

by Jade Stoner
April 14th 2021

So many people watch ‘The Secret,’ read the book, listen to the audiobook and all of the things and they're hyped...Que all of the amazing desires, dream boards and expecting desires to just f... More

that life you've been secretly dreaming of the one that keeps whispering to you, reminding you that you're meant for more. It's meant for you and it is possible your part in making it all really is to get your inner game on point and I'm here to help you do just that. I'm jade stoner, host of soul growth, the podcast, transformational life and soul coach, online content creator and entrepreneur. I've spent over 10 years studying living and breathing personal and spiritual growth and I'm here to help you elevate so that you can live the life you love inside and out. You are worthy of more and your time is now. So let's do this Hello and welcome to this episode of soul growth where I'm spilling the tea on the law of attraction and why it's probably not working for you right now. So the law of attraction really rose to fame through the 2006 movie, the secret and using its own principles.

It really became the catalyst for many people, including myself discovering this thing called The law of attraction and that in a nutshell, you get what you think about you, attracted to you Honestly, the first time I watched the 20 minute trailer of that movie, I wasn't having a bar of it. I thought it was a load of nonsense and at the same time, looking back, I can see that a part of me got it and that I ignored that part of me. It wasn't until years later when I got into the world of network marketing and was introduced to personal growth that I really began to get what the secret had been trying to get me to see all those years before and for a really long time I used to think about how much easier my life would have been if I just got it in those early years instead of going on a long detour. But life happens in the way it does for us and for me and understanding what I do now I know that it all had to happen that way.

And if the law of attraction had worked for me in the way that it looks like it does in the movie then I wouldn't have learned all of the lessons that I have. My soul wouldn't have grown in the way that it has and you wouldn't be getting this episode right now. So it's all good. Many of us watch The secret and we read the book, listen to the audiobook and we are hyped you know, we start to think of all the amazing things we want and desire in our lives and then somehow we expect our desired outcomes to just fall into our laps and we kind of treat this law like it's magic, you know make a wish and then poof five minutes later because we live in an instant gratification world, expect our wish to be granted and for it to show up loudly and obviously as in it's there and we can't miss it or deny it type of way, you know, I've done it and I still do it now sometimes and then when we don't get what we want immediately in the way we thought it would or should happen, our ego gets involved and it starts to spin us the story of This stuff doesn't work, it starts to tell us if it did work.

If the law of attraction was real, then we would have had the £3 million 11 minutes ago we'd have the relationship with desire. We have the perfect man or woman and we'd have the body of our dreams and all of the other things. And here's the thing because the law of attraction is a real thing and it actually does work our thoughts of this stuff isn't working actually attracts more thoughts with the same limits the same low vibes, the same dis beliefs and on and on it goes. And before we know it we're back to believing that our soul's desires are nothing more than a figment of our imaginations and will never happen for us. So all of that to say that the law of attraction isn't working for you for us because more times than not we're actually using it to work against us Well, ain't that a bit much yup.

So before I get deeper into the law of attraction and why it isn't working for you, I want to share a couple of truths about the law of attraction with you to put it into some more perspective. So number one, It is a universal law just like the law of gravity and whether you believe in it or not, it is always at work in your life. 24 7, 365. No days off. Number two contrary to what most people know and believe it is not the only universal law. There are multiple other laws at work too, such as the law of polarity, the law of cause and effect and the laws of vibration to name a few often when the law of attraction isn't working for you in a conscious way. So when you try to use it to manifest something specific. It's usually because what's in the depths of your mind and in your inner game is contradicting what it is you say you want based purely on the science of how the universal laws and the universe works as soon as we declare our desires, they are done.

And if you're familiar with any of the Abraham Hicks teachings, this is essentially what it says, what you want, that possibility that reality, it already exists energetically in the non physical and the reason it doesn't show up in your life in the physical straightaway if at all is not because these laws don't work. But because of your human which has all of these thoughts and beliefs and stories and rules and the like of how the world works for you and what shows up for you in your life is a reflection of your deepest and innermost thoughts and beliefs and stories and rules. So basically what is stored in your subconscious mind, all of this makes you out of alignment with your desires and therefore they can't come to you. And this is another reason it is so important to work on your inner game and clear the crap programming that's keeping your desires from you so that you can get into alignment with what you want.

You know, your soul calls you towards your desires as the bait to get you to do the clearing work to elevate as a person so that you and your soul can expand and then become the person you need to be to effortlessly attract your dreams into reality. Another reason the law of attraction often doesn't work in the way people expect it to is very simply because they spend more time focused on what they don't want and while focused on what they don't want based purely on this one Law only more of the same can be brought into a person's reality. You know, it's easy to learn about the law of attraction intellectually get excited and go make a dream board, but making things a reality comes from the experiential side of life, not the intellectual side of life and that again means getting into alignment with what is wanted.

And a part of that is getting the mind right. You know, it's no good. Someone saying they want to manifest their dream relationship with the man or the woman that embodies everything on their wish list. If they spend more time focused on what douche their exes and what he or she did to hurt them and how every man or woman is the same. I'm wondering if they're not just better off alone whilst focused on what they don't want. Their sending out vibes and signals of those very things and they can only attract more of the same into their life. Do you see the mismatch and no doubt you're doing something not too dissimilar to this in the area of your life that you're trying to manifest in and having trouble with. When I first learned about the law of attraction. I did all of this and more. And it's only really been in the past few years that I've seen this flip side of the law, the law of attraction and how I've used it to work against me in the past.

You know, I've lost count of the number of times. I've watched the secret listened to the audio, but read the book and every other book that the author created and with each time that I couldn't make the law of attraction work for me in the way that I wanted and in the time frame my human wanted. I recognized that all I did was build a bigger evidence bank of why the law of attraction didn't really work. So basically I created more crap to clear through as though there wasn't already enough junk in my trunk to clear what I've come to learn is that my soul isn't in a rush and neither is yours. Everything happens in divine timing. And my job was to clean. It was to identify and delete all of the contradiction thoughts and beliefs that were in the way of what I wanted it was and continues to be changing the habits that keep me stuck in old ways of doing and being it was and is to break the cycle of focusing on what I didn't want and preparing for the worst case scenario of something and not fully believing that what my soul desired could actually be more than a figment of my imagination, believing that I am worthy deserving and capable of manifesting what I want in my life and learning to have to have faith in myself and life and the universe.

And this is all part of the inner game. Work until you start to clean these inner workings of who you are. You're going to continue to use the law of attraction to repel what you want in your life versus attract what you want in your life. The law of attraction is real. Your soul is real and it is limitless. It's only our humans that are limited and our job is to identify and delete anything that's contradictory. And this is how we elevate ourselves and all those around us. Another huge piece of the law of attraction. Working for you is the misconception that you don't need to do anything other than declare your wishes to the universe and then kick back and relax. And this is definitely something that I struggled with for a long time and there are absolutely times when all you need to do is think of something that you want and it shows up. But in my experience, this is more the exception than the rule and it usually happens with simple things that we don't have much junk around.

So like in the secret, when they say manifest a cup of coffee, this is usually a lot easier because you're not carrying around a whole subconscious file of how coffee is bad and all the times that you do wrong. I can think of times where I thought to myself, I really fancy a glass of Prosecco and then someone has gifted me a bottle that very same day theoretically, that's how all manifestations should work. But again, the textbook way of doing things is rarely the actual experience because of all our internal junk getting in the way, but generally trying to use the universe, like a cosmic bellboy doesn't work and is another reason it can trip people up by using the law of attraction, you know, just declaring what you want out loud in your head writing it down or putting it on a drain board more often than not is not enough for it to show up. That's only one half of the equation, Usually some action is required, the universe is always conspiring to bring you what you want within reason and our job is to take the inspired action and this is actually another universal law, the law of action.

And it doesn't mean doing something for the sake of doing it. It means listening to the nudges that you're getting following the golden fred that life is throwing to you and taking the actions that feel aligned for you. And sometimes these actions that you're being called to take, they seem completely counterproductive. For example a common desire slash need is for more money and sometimes that money might be just because, and sometimes it's for a specific thing by a specific time and when the latter is involved, it's really easy for the ego to spin out and try to make you do anything and everything to get the money, but let's be real, most of us aren't about to go sell our body or our Children to get money and whilst your ego maybe telling you to go and sell everything under the sun to make the numbers work, you might actually be guided by that quiet soft inner voice, the sound of your intuition and your soul, the part of you that has a direct link to the university's headquarters, they may both be directing you to go for a walk or take a nap, ego is going to be like, say what now?

It's like how the fuck is going for a walk or taking a nap, going to help me make the money I need right now. And the truth is maybe it won't, but it will make you feel better and when you feel better and have a clearer head, you're better equipped to make the decisions that will help you achieve your goal and you'll be in a better place to hear the actions that the universe is guiding you to make so that you reach your goal. Also when you feel like you need something like money, it is also very likely that with that you feel desperation on some level and worry and fear and here's the thing when you're in a vibe of desperation, desperation rather worry and or fear, you can only re create more of the same, more feelings of fear and desperation which will manifest into more situations of you guessed it, fear and desperation and not just in the area of life that you're worrying about.

So not just in the area of money in this example, everything is connected. So those same feelings might overflow into your business or career, your family and just your life overall. The last area of life that I want to highlight is your health. You know when people have a problem, it's usually in relationships, money or health and so I often use these areas for examples and they're the areas that most people get. So how might you be using the law of attraction to work against you in your health? So let's just say you want to lose weight around your middle area or as my friend calls it, the fluff around your stomach. So your goal is to have a sexy mid area that's ready for anything, any time of the year, every time you look at yourself in the mirror, you have thoughts of, I must get rid of this fat. I don't like it, I don't want it blah blah remembering that you get what you focus on, which is the basis of the law of attraction and you're focusing on the fat.

What are you going to get more of or just not get rid of? That's right. The fact and this is such a subtle distinction and is exactly the kind of so small, you could almost miss it. Example that could be keeping you stuck and not progressing towards whatever it is that you want. So where in your life are you doing this law of attraction thing backwards? I'm right there with you and I myself have some kinks to iron out, remember growth isn't a one and done. You don't learn something, act on it and then you're sorted for life, nope, that is not how life works. One of the many things that I love about my work is that as I share this stuff with you, I'm also getting to teach myself and learn and integrate things at a deeper level. So if you want to make the law of attraction work for you, then it's time for you to start looking at what your predominant thoughts are around all the things you desire in your life.

What are you putting out there? What tweaks and changes do you need to make in your thinking and ways of being and in what other areas of your life are you showing up like that? If you regularly find yourself saying and thinking things like I'm busy, I'm tired, I'm too old, I don't have the money, I don't have enough, I can't cope with this etcetera, etcetera. These are all more examples of using the law of attraction against yourself and it's really time to flip the script, you know, try on things like I always have plenty of time, my age doesn't dictate my life, I've got this, I always have more than enough money, I can deal with this and to your own plot twist, let these be the things that you create in your life, you know, the law of attraction is real and it is ready to work for you if you're willing to make it work for you, so start focusing on what you want and stay focused on things working out for you, even when they look like they're not working, cultivate patience and faith keep working on your inner game and work to get yourself into alignment with your desires.

So that's all for today's episode. Is there something that stood out for you? I'd love to know, so share your favorite quotes and sound bites with us on social at soul growth podcast and use the hashtag Soul growth podcast. So, until next time I'm out, thank you for hanging out with me today on Soul Growth. I hope you enjoyed listening to the show as much as I loved creating it for you. I have no doubt that there was something in today's episode that you were meant to here. So whatever nudges and inspirations you had while listening, trust them and act on them, that's your soul speaking to you. If you haven't already, make sure you're subscribed and following the show or your favorite platform, so you'll be the first to know when the next episodes drop and if you're wanting more of the good stuff, follow me on insta at I am jade stoner, right

Ep. 4: Why The Law Of Attraction Isn't Working For You
Ep. 4: Why The Law Of Attraction Isn't Working For You
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