Soul Growth with Jade Stoner

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Ep 2: The Truth About Forgiveness And Why You Need It

by Jade Stoner
March 31st 2021

No doubt you're familiar with the idea of forgiveness, but have you really harnessed its superpower to help you elevate and have it all? In this episode Jade's getting into the truth abou... More

that life, you've been secretly dreaming of the one that keeps whispering to you reminding you that you're meant for more. It's meant for you and it is possible your part in making it all really is to get your inner game on point and I'm here to help you do just that. I'm jade stoner, host of soul growth, the podcast, transformational life and soul coach, online, content creator and entrepreneur. I've spent over 10 years studying living and breathing personal and spiritual growth and I'm here to help you elevate so that you can live the life you love inside and out. You are worthy of more and your time is now. So let's do this hello and welcome to this episode of soul growth where I'm getting into the truth about forgiveness. I wanted to create this episode for you because understanding the power of forgiveness and more importantly, put an interaction in your life can be a game changer for you now I get it, you might be thinking that you already understand forgiveness.

I mean, it's not like you haven't heard about it before and no doubt you've had to forgive someone or something in the past that's a part of life, right? Perhaps you've even asked someone for their forgiveness to at some point in your life and maybe there are some things in your life right now that you think are just unforgivable. Well, by the end of this episode, I believe that you might shift your perspective on this and you'll be looking at forgiveness in a whole different way and you'll be ready to forgive everyone and everything that needs it in your life. And this might sound a bit out there, especially as we live in a society that is so hell bent on blaming others for all of the things. Everything is always someone else's fault. It's his or hers. It's because of the kids this and because my parents that it's my boss, it's because I don't earn enough money. It's the government. It's because I don't have a degree blah blah blah. It's all blame, blame blame. I mean, how often do you hear a person taking responsibility for their part in a situation and looking at how they co created it rarely if ever and to an extent it's not their fault.

It's because they've been programmed to look outside of themselves for so much and because at most turns in life there is something to reinforce the blame. Culture we live in and make people feel justified in their blame game. I mean, just think about some of the ads that you see online on tv and hear on the radio, things like had an accident that's not your fault where you mis sold PPI Tv programs, especially soaps are full of blame and somewhere a lot of the songs that are streamed and played that we listened to. I mean talk about a blamed pandemic, right? So the reason that I share all of this with you is to give you some context of what we're up against and to share that you are way more powerful than all of this crap and it's time for you to take back all of that power. And forgiveness in the way I'm going to share with you is one of the best ways that I've found to do this. Here's the thing about forgiveness. Most people believe that you either forgive or you don't and that's it. And when most people do forgive, although the words have been said somewhere in their body, they still hold on to the pain and hurt around whatever the situation was.

And then that pain, whether it's conscious or unconscious, becomes the lens through which they lived their life for others that forgive it can often be reluctant doing it for the sake of it type of vibe. You know, the ones where someone thinks or says I forgive you, but you can tell you can feel that they don't really mean it, it's half fast, and they know it too, and on the flip side too, forgiving is those people that are straight up are not forgiven that situation person thing and they feel very justified in their decision. Very rarely does someone forgive. And then with that forgiveness, let all the energy attached to the experience, they're forgiving go with it. And that's partly because we've never been taught how to fully forgive. It's also because most people believe that forgiveness is about whoever and whatever else is involved in the situation and that's why people can sometimes have such a hard time fully forgiving someone or something, there's a saying that I love by buddha and it beautifully sums all of this up.

Holding onto anger is like grasping onto a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else. The only person it's hurting is you, Ooh, now that puts a different spin on things, right? So here's the truth about forgiveness. Forgiveness is for you. And when you open yourself up and understand that forgiveness is always for you, and it's about choosing to free yourself of that old energy that changes the whole game. In choosing to forgive you're saying I'm letting go of the old stuck energy that lives inside of me that is attached to whatever it is that you'll forgive him, You're cutting the energetic cord that keeps some part of your being tied to the experience and at some level, replaying that experience over and over again inside of you. You're not aware of it, but that's what happens, holding onto the energy of the ghost of christmas past, It blocks your energy and by extension, that blocks all of the amazing things that you want, all the things that your soul desires, all of the things that you're asking the universe for, from coming into your life.

You hold that low vibration inside of you which sends out an energetic signal which draws things on the same frequency back into your life. So before I get into the dough pass technique that I'm going to share with you to kick all of this crap out. I just want to share a few other things about forgiveness because I know a part of you is already twitching and all the questions are swirling inside of your mind. So number one, forgiveness isn't about condoning someone else's behavior or agreeing to continue tolerating a dysfunctional or toxic environment relationship or dynamic Number two as I've shared forgiveness isn't about other people. So when you choose to forgive them, you don't actually have to get them involved. In fact, if you never want them to know that you've done this clearing work, you don't have to let them know. This is more about the energetic six. It's energetic clearing like taking out the trash number three to take number two even further.

If it's a person you're choosing to forgive, they don't have to be alive in order for you to do this or for it to work. Number four, forgiveness is for you. It sets you free. So how do you forgive in a way that clears your energy and frees up the space within you to allow high vibe and supportive energy to come in. Well it's an ancient Hawaiian practice called pono Pono. It took me a long time to figure out how to pronounce that one properly. How a pony pono is a process of letting go of toxic energies within you or more simply put it helps to clean the unconscious mind, which is where all of your memories, thoughts, beliefs, programs, assumptions about yourself and others patterns of behavior and the like live. So if you want to make a change or a shift in your life including going from where you are now to having your dream life and having it all whatever that looks like for you. Then this is where your attention focus and work needs to be on your unconscious, your subconscious mind and this is exactly where how a pony pony gets to work.

It helps to make right and Malcolm eyes the things in the subconscious that very simply put are not of the highest vibrations. Using her opponent pono is a real act of self love. So take the time to make it work for you. Set aside half an hour or an hour, make sure you won't be disturbed and have something to write with. And if you're into it you could use some sage some Palo santo to clear the space you're working in, you could light a candle, have some florida water on hand. Whatever works for you, turn your phone off, turn all distractions off and when you're in your quiet and uninterrupted space and you're ready to go. Just take a couple of really deep breaths to get yourself fully connected and grounded into your body and then what you're going to do is write down all of the things that come to mind. When you ask yourself these questions, who do I need to forgive? What do I need to forgive?

What situations haven't I completely let go of? What am I ready to release? Just a reminder that this is a recording. So pause, rewind, come back to this part if you need to and as many times as you need to don't let your ego trip you up here and start telling you things like I can't remember all of these questions so I'm just not going to bother. Your ego can be very sneaky and it likes to keep things as they are as much as possible. So it does things like keep you from looking at what's really holding you back in your life. When you ask yourself these questions, your mind will instantly go to work to find the answers for you. They may not all come to light straight away, but they will come trust it, your job is to listen and to listen to what it brings up for you. And also to trust that this isn't about judging whatever your mind said, even if it sounds silly, even if you think that's not a thing for me, If it came up, it's a thing, trust it, write it down, keep it moving to forgive something, you don't need to know exactly why you're pissed, understand the situation fully need to remember every single detail of what went down or even remember exactly what the person did write it all down anyway when I first used the pony pony I took myself through similar steps and I had all sorts come up and one that really surprised me was the memory of being around seven or eight years old and not getting the Little Mermaid movie that I wanted for christmas and getting fantasia instead.

And if you've seen that movie then you understand the pain that I was carrying. Then there were there were what would be perceived as more serious memories such as having been cheated on in past relationships, being in abusive relationships and not being where I wanted to be in my life. For example, all you need to do when writing your own stuff down is keep it simple. So just write a short phrase, something that when you come back to it, you'll know what that memory is about. It doesn't need to be an essay or even a paragraph. So you might just write down not yet being a parent or not yet having started my own business, think back over your life both recently and further back even back to childhood. What comes up for you think about your relationships, your health, your desires, your life, your career, your money, even the seemingly laughable things remember don't judge it and to use my example of not getting the movie that I wanted for christmas whilst to my adult self that seemed completely insignificant.

The little girl version of jade still lives inside of me and she was still very much pissed and you're in a child lives in you too and you might be surprised about what he or she is holding onto remember the bottom line is is all energy and anything that you have a distaste around or for has got to go clearing out the junk is a part of how you elevate your life and a quick sidebar. Although I'm sharing all of these different areas of your life to think about and different timelines. The goal here is not to remember an attempt to heal everything now, healing often happens in layers, meaning that you might remember something now clear it and then next week or next year or whenever you might remember something else related to it to clear and that's okay. The first time I did this work, one of the things on my list of things to forgive was my dad dying when I was five and I cleared whatever was there at that time and I thought I was dumb.

It wasn't until a few years later working with one of my coaches that something came up and I saw how it was connected to my dad's death. I recognized that I wasn't ready to heal at that deeper level the first time around and now I was so I share this with you so that you know, it's okay if you don't get everything at once and maybe you're not supposed to either. This process that I'm sharing with you is another remedy for your energetic first aid kit. Something to use as and when you need it as often as you need it. So Now you've got your list. It's time to read back over each of them, one at a time and as you read over each one, spend about 30 seconds feeling into the energy of what it is that you've written down. That's why the words of what you wrote down and the exact details of whatever it is aren't that important. It's all about tapping into the energy of the situation when you're in the zone when you're connected with that energy, those feelings.

You're very simply going to say, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you and just say those over and over a few times and you'll feel in your body when you've said it enough times because you'll feel a shift. You'll feel the energetic charge of whatever it is that you're forgiving, release those statements make up the whole opponent pono prayer of forgiveness and you repeat that process with each of the things that you've written down like I said you may want or need to repeat the prayer two or three times and you'll know what to do when you're in the moment again, trust yourself and let your soul lead. It knows the way the goal here for the chart is the goal here is for the charge in your body to minimize and ideally to be completely released. And that's it. It's relatively simple but don't underestimate its power, jalapeno pono can transform your life, your health, your relationships, your finances and all other areas of your life.

You just have to get out of your own way and let it work its magic, commit to it and be patient. Another way to make the most out of this process is just to repeat the statements to yourself over and over again throughout your day. Whether that's in your head or out loud when a situation arises in real time that triggers a negative emotion in you or a memory that doesn't feel great. Again, use these statements over and over and trust them to do their thing. It doesn't matter which order you use these statements in just say them and if you only remember to use one or two of them, that's okay too. One of the founding teachers of pono pono dr Hugh Lynn often uses just two. I love you. Please forgive me to give you a very simplified understanding of what each statement means when you say, I'm sorry. It means that you are sorry for holding on to whatever it is for so long and allowing it to affect you and to hold you back. Please forgive me is basically asking the universe or as the ancient Hawaiians refer to it, divinity to term whatever it is that you're holding onto back into love.

Thank you. Means that you are grateful for all the lessons the situation has taught you and remember that everything that you've been and are going through is to prepare you for what it is that you've asked for and I love you, means that you are sending love to the situation to allow you to hell understanding forgiveness in the ways of shared throughout this episode, allow you to be back in control of yourself, to take back your power and not be at the mercy of someone or something that did you wrong in the past, or even at the mercy of yourself and all the times you believed you flux it up and I trust that you can now see or at the very least, are starting to see why nothing should be unforgivable. Holding onto the past and wearing it as a badge of honor, is only holding you back, clogging up your energy and holding you back from receiving all that you desire. Remember forgiveness is for you and forgiveness will set you free. So, who do you need to forgive right now?

And yes, that can and absolutely should include yourself too. Remember this work is self love. So, forgive yourself too. And if you want to turbo boost this work when you're going through it. When you are saying that forgiveness. Prayer, do it in the mirror. So, what is it time for you to let go of and know that it is safe for you to let it go? So that's all for today's episode, share your biggest takeaways with us on social at soul growth podcast and use the hashtag Soul growth podcast. So, until next time I'm out, Thank you for hanging out with me today on Soul growth. I hope you enjoyed listening to the show as much as I loved creating it for you. I have no doubt that there was something in today's episode that you were meant to here. So whatever nudges and inspirations you had while listening, trust them and act on them. That's your soul speaking to you. If you haven't already, make sure you're subscribed and following the show on your favorite platform.

So you'll be the first to know when the next episodes dropped and if you're wanting more of the good stuff, follow me on. It's stuff that I am jade stoner

Ep 2: The Truth About Forgiveness And Why You Need It
Ep 2: The Truth About Forgiveness And Why You Need It
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