Soul Growth with Jade Stoner

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Ep. 1: How Your Positive Vibes Could Be Holding You Back

by Jade Stoner
March 26th 2021

In this episode of Soul Growth, Jade's getting into positive vibes and positive thinking and why all of the positivity *could* actually be holding you back from elevating your life an... More

that life you've been secretly dreaming of the one that keeps whispering to you, reminding you that you're meant for more, it's meant for you and it is possible your part in making it all really is to get your inner game on point and I'm here to help you do just that I'm jade stoner, host of soul growth, the podcast, transformational life and soul coach, online content creator and entrepreneur, I've spent over 10 years studying living and breathing, personal and spiritual growth and I'm here to help you elevate so that you can live the life you love inside and out. You are worthy of more and your time is now. So let's do this Hello and welcome to this episode of soul growth where I'm getting into positive vibes and positive thinking now I'm all for positivity but like everything else in life it has its place and the problem that I've started to see over the past two or so years is that it's being used as a band aid away to mask over people's true feelings and I know that I've definitely done this myself in the past and maybe you can relate one of the problems with this is that it's unhealthy at best and at worst it can even become toxic and in some situations dangerous.

You know when I think back to 2010 when I first got into personal growth and back then it was better known as self help. All of that is mostly about mindset and by extension positive thinking and it was something that many people thought was just some idealistic aka unrealistic way of being that was a bit out there and didn't relate to real life and the ship that I would get for saying anything that gave off Pollyanna vibes. Well you think that I just told someone to go fuck themselves, take your head out of the clouds, you're living in a bubble, I'd be told and how times have changed and now it's like the pendulum swung too far the other way because positive thinking and positive vibes only and think positive is a huge trend back in 2000 and 10.

Positive anecdotes were really only shared by gurus and the people who followed their work and now it seems that everyone is a self proclaimed guru, Social media is full of quotes that people share on their feeds. We've even got selfies with cute quote captions that most of them probably have no idea where the quote came from or how to actually live by whatever it says because let's be real sharing positive quotes doesn't make you a positive person and don't let the interwebs fool you into thinking otherwise you can buy a positive thinking ball prints, mugs, t shirts, greeting cards, I mean you name it and there's probably somewhere that sells it and let's talk about positive thinking books, they're not just being offered by the self help gurus anymore gurus, the name that they were once known by uh now you can pick one up, written by a celebrity, a business owner or anyone who wants to write one basically and no longer is positive thinking.

Something that's shunned? You know, it's now seen as cool and sexy and much more accepted as the norm. So in the grand scheme of life this is amazing. Did you know that you think over 60,000 thoughts a day and most of those are the same thoughts from the day before and for the most part, they are likely to be low vibe faults. Why? Because of something called a negative bias and it's something that we have and it's a form of protection and self preservation. So you're actually wired to look for the negative in things. It's a survival tactic, it's hardwired into your brain and it's been there since the days of the cave people. And whilst you may have evolved from living in caves, your brain's still have some upgrading to do so every day, you're recycling the same negative thoughts which create the same crappy experiences that you have in your life and your thoughts they compound over time to create beliefs and it's your thoughts and your beliefs that create your feelings which direct which action that you do and don't take in your life and all of that amounts to what shows up in your life A.

K. A. Your results. So the question you're probably thinking is if positive thinking is a win for us overall, what's the problem and how is it that these positive vibes could be toxic and actually keep you stuck and not able to elevate and create a manifest all of your soul's desires. And the answer to that is because many people are using their positive vibes as a distraction from what's really going on inside of them. It's becoming a way of spiritual and emotional bypassing. It's allowing people to delude themselves that they're okay when actually they're not. And denial is another word that comes up for me here. Maybe you think that positive vibes are the way forward. You know, everyone's doing it. You don't want to seem to be a life hoover and a burden putting all of your ship on someone else. So you just smile and pretend like everything's okay, even when it's not.

And whilst that positivity may appear to look good on the outside, you know, on social media and to your family, friends and coworkers, If you're using it as a way to block out what's really going on for you, then it's not going to look so good further down the line, stuffing negative feelings and emotions and memories and experiences down inside of you and trying to ignore them and pretend like they're not there. It never ends. Well, the negative emotions always come out somewhere along the line when they're left unchecked suicide stories are the epitome of this? You know, often when you hear statements from the family and the friends of the deceased, you'll hear them say things like how that person seems so happy and so full of life and how they genuinely thought them to be okay and never did they think that they would do something like that.

Put another way that person was using positivity to hide their true feelings. Here's the thing, no matter how good of a job you think and believe you're doing at hiding the feelings that you consider to be negative and pushing them down inside of you. You can't run from yourself. Holding in all of these negative thoughts and feelings is unhealthy and over time it can manifest into addictions and mental health issues and they're also stunting your growth masking over what's really going on for you doesn't deal with the root of the real issue. And so the same cycle of full and feelings continues inside of you, creating the same experiences of your life over and over again, remember it's your thoughts that become your beliefs which directs your feelings and your actions which all create your reality and you'll find yourself stuck in that same loop and wondering why the same things keep happening to you.

Over and over again. You have to break the cycle. I want to share a different perspective with you. What if your negative thoughts, feelings and emotions weren't to make you feel like ship and keep you down. But instead what if they were feedback indicators. Signposts to direct you to where you need to lean in and do the work on your inner game to hell. Elevate. And with this in mind, it makes sense that by not using your negative emotions to your advantage, not only are you giving away your power, you're also holding yourself back and you keep yourself stuck and then you're left wondering why you can never catch a break and make things work in the way you want them to. And this isn't about staying in negativity, That's not the goal here. And it's not about becoming a victim of your own low vibes, this is about accepting your negativity, your negative vibes for what it is a part of life, a part of having a human physical emotional experience and using them to point you to where you need to lean in deeper hell and let old stuff go.

You know, start communicating with your negative thoughts and feelings versus ignoring and denying and stuffing them down inside of you start questioning their so called truth, you know, is what's coming up even in alignment with who you are anymore. What are your negative thoughts and feelings and emotions trying to tell you? So, for example, if you have some negative thoughts come up when you're with or think about certain people that could be letting you know that you've got some unchecked resentment there towards that person that requires some forgiveness. Or it could simply be telling you that you no longer feel good being around that person, you've outgrown them and it's time to take a step back from that relationship or even let it go completely if you've got negative thoughts about money and you feel uncomfortable earning and receiving more of it, it could be highlighting that you have an unconscious belief about money that you picked up in childhood that is in opposition to you becoming wealthier.

So maybe growing up, you always heard things like money is evil or rich people are greedy and so the more that your income and savings grow and knowing that you want to continue being a good and generous person, This unconscious belief you took on in childhood could be blocking you from elevating to an even higher income level, Whatever is in your subconscious mind, that's what will always win. You know, your subconscious mind is responsible for 95% of the way you show up in life. So those negative vibes around money are coming up to let you know, they're, they're, you know, it's like they're waving at you and saying, hey, I'm here so that you can see them and you can say, oh hell no bye Felicia, you know, from that place, you get to take back your power and you get to reprogram those beliefs.

In other words, you get to clear the crap so that you can open up the way for the money and the income to keep coming in keep growing and so that you can be rich and a really good person, everything in life has its place and your negative feelings are not any different and we need to stop ignoring them. And even though you might think you'll fall in the world with your positivity everywhere, energy doesn't lie. And what you put out is what you're going to get back. So it's time to start cleaning up your inner world and clear the path for you to elevate. And you know, just shifting this one thing can have such a big impact on your life and have you real life in your success in no time. There are lots of ways to process and work through your negative vibes and one that I want to share with you right now is journaling and journaling is just a fancy word for writing stuff down.

It's a tool that has been really powerful for me throughout the years and just writing down what's going on for you and just acknowledging what's really going on for you in this way and giving it the attention it can often take away so much of its charge and power and hold over your life. So the way I like to do this, I like to go old school pen and paper as I find it more effective. You could also do it on an electronic device. So whether it's a document on a laptop or the note section of a phone or a tablet, that stuff's not so important as just doing it, but I say find what works best for you. And do you be couple of questions to get you started? What are you resisting acknowledging in your life right now? What do you need to let go of and what will happen when you do? There are no right or wrong answers here. Just right and see what comes up for you.

Don't judge yourself, approach it with playful curiosity. I often find that as I'm writing something that I've been finding tricky to navigate or process, it suddenly becomes so clear and I'll get clarity and gain a deeper understanding of whatever it is that I'm working through and that is so powerful. So don't overthink it. Just give it a try and see how it fits for you now, before I wrap this up, I just want to share with you to remind you that it's okay not to be okay all of the time. Just like the cycles in nature, we have our own cycles and you know, we're not meant to be high vibe and positive all of the time. There's so much opportunity for growth when you're in the lower vibes, you've just got to learn to sit with them to listen to what's coming up for you because the answers are always within you.

It's just about getting still and hearing them and discover the parts of yourself that are wanting to grow and come through, you know, elevating your life and having it all isn't all love and light and glitter and rainbows and again, don't let the interwebs fall. You, it's about the dark and the light, the ying and the yang, the positive and the negative. You have to be willing to look at the parts of you that could be working better. The shadows call yourself out on your ship, break the cycles that are keeping you stuck and clear out your energy to make the space to receive all of your soul's desires and when you learn to embrace all of who you are and love you unconditionally. That's when you become a magnet for everything. So that is all for today's episode, share your favorite soundbites with us on social at soul growth podcast and use the hashtag Soul growth podcast.

So, until next time I'm out, Thank you for hanging out with me today on soul growth. I hope you enjoyed listening to the show as much as I loved creating it for you. I have no doubt that there was something in today's episode that you were meant to here. So whatever nudges and inspirations you had while listening, trust them and act on them, that's your soul speaking to you. If you haven't already, make sure you're subscribed and following the show on your favorite platform. So you'll be the first to know when the next episodes dropped and if you wanted more of the good stuff, follow me on. It's stuff that I am jade steiner.

Ep. 1: How Your Positive Vibes Could Be Holding You Back
Ep. 1: How Your Positive Vibes Could Be Holding You Back
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