this podcast was created on messi, create your own show today at messy dot FM. Welcome back everyone to that christian and recovery podcast and I'm your host, vernon L. And this is that podcast where we talk about life's problems and we also talk about the solution to those problems, but if we don't know the solution, we talk about our role in the problem because I do believe that everyone is recovering from something. Mhm. What are you going to do differently? What are you going to do different? That's what I want to talk about in this episode, because if you want something different, you must be willing to do something differently. Okay, see a lot of times we sit there and we think that we want something different, but really we are not willing to put in the work, you have to be willing to put in the work you want to lose weight.

You have to be willing to put in the work, You have to be willing to be open minded, you have to be willing to believe that God wants the best for you. Whether it's your relationship rather it your finances rather it's your weight. God wants the best for you and see we have to stop leaning on our own understanding, we have to stop leaning on our own on our own self and belief systems and ideal. And we have to start walking through some things. Yeah. You know, y'all heard it. If nothing changed, then nothing changed. If you keep doing what you're doing, you're gonna always get what you got. So you might ask yourself because remember we are experts and self deceptions, right? We we deceive ourselves all the time. We lie to ourselves all the time, man.

We think we really want to stop using drugs. We think we really want to stop gaining weight, but really we just we just want to ease the pain, man. We just want to ease the pain, you know? So ask yourself, what are you willing to do differently? What are you willing to do different now? We can talk, we can talk about doing something and you know, I hope that my listeners man, you know, I'm building relationships with your old man. So I just gotta keep giving y'all the game man because I don't want you all to keep thinking that you have to stay where you at because you was raised in an environment, man, that that's what they did and you know? Yes, our environments have an influence on us. But once we become aware of of ourselves, once we become aware of how much power that we have, we have to stop allowing our conditions to control us, man, you can do something different.

I know you was raised in a poor environment, but you can get out out of the hood, you you can begin to love people, you don't you don't have to do what your mother and father done and you you don't have to do that to your Children. You don't you don't have to abandon your Children. You don't have to talk to your Children. You can actually learn how to talk to your Children, but you have to be conscious. And a lot of times we are not conscious. We're just doing things out of impulse, man. So I want you all to ask yourself and do an inventory right now and just ask yourself as you listen to this as you're riding in your car and you you're thinking about this. Just think about where do I want to see change? You know, that's why I want you to ask yourself, where do you want want to see change? See, because when we talk about doing something different, we have to realize that our minds right, are conditioned to go back to what is familiar with.

See a lot of times all what we're really doing, we're looking for safety and we're looking for for what's comfortable and a lot of things that we are doing. You know, it's even though it's not healthy, right, smoking cigarettes is not healthy, you know, gaining weight, it's not healthy, but it's what we're familiar with. So when we be trying to go to the gym and we'll be trying to change our diets, what happens, y'all is that we're getting out of our comfort zone. And whenever you're out of your comfort zone, fear sets in now, remember, yeah, that we don't serve, no god of fear. Okay, we don't we don't serve no God of fear, you know? So that that ain't our story as christians. Uh that's not our job. Our job is we we we we walk by faith, right? We walk by faith. We we believe that this is what God wants for us. So now you you tell yourself you want to stop smoking cigarettes, okay? You tell yourself that you want to begin to save your money.

Now ask yourself do you think that's guys will for you? Okay? Alright. This you know, I'm just giving you some tools on how to do some things differently, right? How to do some things different. So, so, so you ask yourself not only do I want to stop, stop gaining weight, right? God wants me to stop gain away. So we always got to put God into it, right? We never forget. We can never forget about him, okay? Because he's he's the ultimate authority. He has the authority over everything. So we have to tap into him. So now when we tap into him, what happens man? He begins to put people in our lives to help us reach the goals that are lining up with his will say we we have to begin to to to lean on him and always remember that we are being cared for. Okay, they always remember that we are being cared for that he have he have a group group of angels looking after us see so so he would give us he would give us the people and he would give us the inside courage, right?

See a lot of us not willing to do something different, right? Because we have an X for the wilderness. Yeah. Because we under this this false ideal that in order for me to do something differently, I must I feel like doing it. Yeah, I mean, think about how many times man that you you say you wanted to go work out and you just woke up and you you had already told yourself now listen, listen what I'm saying, You already told yourself two days ago. Look, I'm going to work out monday. You've been told you've been told yourself that you you're feeling good. You charge like, yeah, I'm about to go work out monday. Do you have told your spouse, you have told the kid might have told even a co worker, I'm tired of looking like this. You know, you're getting excited. You charged you charged up, you ready then monday comes and you just don't feel like going to the gym.

So now you sit there and begin to make up excuses why you don't want to go, you know, or or you just go off the fact that you don't feel like doing it many goals have not been reached because somebody didn't feel like doing it. Now. I know a lot of people who are successful. I know actress, you know, I know I know people engineers, you know, I know some people that just just prospering in life and they all have this one thing in common. Y'all they have, they all had this one thing in common, they do it on purpose in spite of what they think or what they feel and that's why that's why I'm getting my energy from, that's why now I go to the gym regular, I'm going today now do I feel like going, I don't feel like going what I really want to go in and play xbox all day.

That's if I get honest, do I be wanting to do these podcast, nope, but I'm helping too many people in other words, what I'm saying is it's about being of service and when you're being of service is not about how you feel, okay, it's not about what you think, See when you begin to take care of yourself and develop good habits. That is part of self care and it's also part of service work, you're doing service to yourself. It's hard to serve your family if you don't know how to serve yourself. I can't give you what I don't have, right? I can't give you what I don't have, right and you got to remember that people around us are watching us, okay, So and the best way to influence your wife, the best way to influence your husband is not by what you say, okay, it's about what you do, People are watching what you're doing your mouth.

It sounds real good, man, It sounds real good. So ask yourself, is you a talker or you adore? And if you want something different, you have to be willing to do something differently. That's how change works. Change is a process. Change is a process first. It's a mindset, okay, it's a man set. It's a mindset, it's a victorious mindset. It's not a victim mindset. It's not it's not a I'm gonna keep my foot on my on myself mindset. I'm going to keep, you know, my foot on my wife mindset, it's a victorious mindset. It's a it's a mindset of freedom. It's a massive set of abundance, you're like above not just money, not just wealth, I'm talking about Joy talking about, I'm talking about self control, calmness, a peace of mind, all of that freedom.

Freedom. You can do something differently in all your ways man, But you have to be conscious of who you are, right? You have to be conscious of who you are or you a person who always acting reacting on impulse. Are you a person who when you, when you're out of control, when you don't have control over people, when you don't have control over circumstances, Are you a person who worries a lot? You can do something differently in that area, but you have to be conscious. Let me ask you about this man, how many times have you worried about something and that situation that you weren't about got better. I want you to contact me. Yo man, I want you to email me comment in the comment below. Whatever. Just tell me that. I really I want you to tell me that. Tell me how many times have you worried about something?

And the situation got better, Right? And we recovered. We talk about this, we talk about insanity, right? And we talk about insanity. We say repeating the same mistakes, Okay, That's the key word, repeating the same mistakes, expecting something differently. Not not repeating the same thing. There's nothing wrong with repeating the same thing, You know? I mean, a lot of a lot of things get habits or repetition. That that's not the issue. It's repeating the same mistakes. So, whatever you're going through in your life right now, okay. Whether it's which it could be a relationship with your Children, it could be a co worker on the job, right? It could be your finances, it could be your weight, whatever it is, right? God has given you listen to what I'm sharing with you, every person who are listening to this episode. Okay? This this applies to you. God has given you the ability to get through it without causing harm to yourself or to someone else.

And that's just that's just what I know, because he has his spirit in you. Alright? So, and when God have his spirit in you, you have the power to do whatever their lines up with his will. Okay, it's really that simple right? So now we have to be conscious of what we're doing and we have to be honest with ourselves and ask ourselves do I really want to do something different in this area? And the reason why I say we have to ask ourselves that because we are experts and rationalizing, we are experts in self deception. We have been deceiving ourselves for so long now it's time for us to walk in our truth and I'm talking about walking your truth. You can you can make a commitment. That commitment. Spiritual principle commitment. You can you can make a commitment that you know what? Just for today, I'm gonna give it my best to stop smoking cigarettes.

Okay now here's here here we want to use as an example. Okay so now you have told yourself, but now you you practice in the spiritual principle of commitment. Okay not just what you want. I want you to commit to it. See the game changed once you commit Oh yeah. Oh yeah once you commit to some of the game changed, right? So now you're using an example, let's say you want to stop smoking cigarettes so you're doing what you need to do to try to stop smoking cigarettes, you can stop buy cigarettes. Okay now you try to go right what you don't want one day without you don't want to days. So now the 3rd day now the third day now you're craving, okay now you're craving a cigarette, okay? Especially during the times that you usually you don't smoke one, right? Like after dinner, after sex, after using the bathroom or doing using bathroom, whatever. We all have our times that we want cigarette, right?

Because I used to smoke cigarettes. So I I know, but I knew I had to do something different. Right? So anyway, long story short when you know these cravings are going to attack you at certain times, you have to be prepared to do something differently at that moment. Okay, now how did I stop? I tell you how I stop my wife. She you know that's why I love my wife. God always using her. Right? She said I buy you these um e cigarettes, not the vapor things everybody doing now, right? They eat cigarettes. They had like they had nicotine and the tip of you screwing in the tip and it looked like a cigarette. But all it was was just nicotine. Did I? I said, you know, she said if I buy you this, would you try him and try to stop smoking? I'm like, yeah, right. So she bought me something, right? So I started doing my homework, That's what I do, I do my homework. Okay, they're supposed to help me stop smoking cigarettes.

How does it supposed to help me stop smoking cigarettes? And then I began to learn that. Really it helps you because really your body is just craving nicotine. And when you when you when your body crave nicotine, what we what I was doing, Okay, I'm keep the focus on me what I was doing. I was going by a whole pack of cigarettes but according to these studies and I began to read like I really didn't need a pack of cigarettes. I just need a shot of nicotine. Right? So that was the whole purpose of it. So my wife bought Meadows and so I'll be playing my game doing what everything I want a cigarette. Then I go to that little e cigarette and I take a hit and instantly, soon as I took a hit, y'all the craving stopped, right? So I put it down. Then I just go on about my business. The hours later I want to I have a craving for a cigarette, take another shot, a nicotine. Then what happened? I began to see it's going longer and longer through the day is going longer meet wanting to have a cigarette.

Then maybe. Then it turned two days. Then one time I was doing, I think I'm playing my game and I had ran out of because you got to read, you gotta read up on them. I had ran out of them. Right. Then I was going to buy me some. Then I said, man, forget that. I went this long without forgive it. And that's how I stopped. Right? And so so I say that to say this. I used that same approach. Watch this, y'all to losing weight. Okay. Use the same approach because now I got something you gotta remember once you have a victory in one area of your life and I try to share this with all my clients, Right? I try to show them when you have a victory in one area of your life, you have to learn from that and you can take that same strategy and begin to apply it in other areas of your life. It's the same thing. You just apply it into something different. So now watch this now. Okay, my wife, she bought me those and I noticed that, you know, nicotine, that's all I was doing. I was just craving nicotine.

Now I take it to losing weight because I lost over £10. Right? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. Right? I go to the gym, but also I don't eat as much. Okay, I don't eat as much. So now when I want something safer, like I want a soda. Right? So instead of telling myself, I don't drink pop, don't do that. Right? Here is what I do. I try not to, but if I crave it, here's what I do, I go in there and don't even get a cup of soda. I just get a little bit and guess what happened. It takes that craving away just because I learned it from the nicotine, okay. And it can be the same way with food save. I'm craving a big Mac, real, real talk. That's how I eat now. Craving a Big Mac or something crazy, right? There's something I know I don't need a whole whole lot because you don't really need that whole burger fries double, you don't need all that, you know, You know, you don't need But see, I've been conditioned my mind, really think I need all that and really, I don't Right, so, I take that burger, I'll take a bite and I'll take another buddy.

And I put it to the side and the next thing, you know, somebody comes and say, who fruit sandwiches, y'all can have it. All right, I don't I don't eat the whole thing. I just And what I'm doing a weaning myself off of it. I remember years ago, my doctor, right, my doctor is saying you have to win yourself off of stuff vernon, don't just stop. I mean, a lot of people can't stop like that go cold turkey, but win yourself off of it now, because I'm going to the gym now now that that I'm eating more healthy, guess what's happening? Yeah, real tall. My body is actually craving healthy foods and also my body is actually craving, going to the gym, I don't went from hating going to the gym tonight. I can't wait. Like today I'm going today. I can't wait. You know, I was just telling my nephew who was my personal trainer, right? And my daughter, she's my accountability partner. You know, so I got I got nephew. He's my personal trainer. My daughter. She's my accountability partner, my wife, she's my accountability partner, my kids.

You know what everybody my accountability partner partner. Because I messed up and and I'm sharing that with you all that you need people to hold you accountable a lot of times. Okay. A lot of times we want to do things but we keep it to ourselves. We want to stop stop smoking cigarettes. But we don't tell nobody. We want to stop eating late at night, but we don't tell nobody. And why is that? That's because it's called reservations. And if you don't tell someone you're not being held accountable. Okay. I want you to listen to this man. We're talking about what are you going to do differently. We have to start telling people write faster one who believes in you and want to help you. Not going to beat you up. Not going to keep scrutinize you and and and and taking your inventory. No. You don't need no person like that, right? You don't need no person like that.

I mean, you know, you don't need nobody counting your calories bro. That's what I'm trying to share. You don't, you don't need nobody. You need accountability partner. That's going to hold you accountable and you know, and when you fall short, they're gonna tell you the game like that's okay. Get back up, keep going. That's what accountability department is. Do they don't beat you up. They don't they don't step on your neck. They don't do all that. You know? Sit there judging you why they over there talking about, they talk about you but they over there ain't telling you the truth about them. No, they when you have accountability partner, y'all tell each other the truth. Okay, tell each other the truth. They say how you doing with your diet? Oh, I'm doing great. How are you doing? Stop lying man. Why? You gotta burger in your hands? Stop lying. Tell the truth. I'm eating a burger right now. I put some extra sauce on. You gotta tell him yourself because in order to do something differently, you have to live in your truth. That's what I'm trying to get you all to understand. You have to live in your truth. You can't you can't lie to yourself.

Okay? And think you're going to change. Remember? Change starts from the inside. First of all, it's a mindset in order to do something differently. It's a it's a mindset you must have and and it's a victory mindset. It's a mindset that, you know, we talk about recovery, we we say act as if, okay. Act as if you act as if it's not. Fronting No, it's not perpetrating, it's not lying. Acting as if it's that you're going to act now notice what I said, y'all I didn't say think as if I didn't say feel as if I said we're saying recovery act as if, okay, So if you want to start losing weight, right? And you want to start going to the gym, that's what you trying to do differently. You're trying to go to the gym on a regular basis, right? You don't have to worry about losing weight. If you go to the gym regularly, you're gonna lose weight okay?

Don't worry about the results. Just put in the work. Okay, now, here's what you do. That's how you act as if you wake up, you would have told yourself well I want to go monday to the gym and you wake up monday and you don't feel like it jay now because you have told yourself I'm acting as if right? You you begin to think. You began to think, well I can just really start Tuesday doing something differently. What do you use to do when you feel not like going to work out, you usually what don't go, what do you do when you begin to rationalize, see there's a time between you, you're thinking about doing something and actually doing, you have to you have to make that very small, right? Because if you got the time that you want to do something At the time you actually do, if that window is too big, nine times out of 10, you're going to do what you always have done. right? So acting as if, because you have told yourself I'm gonna start acting as if.

So you act as if you've always been working out. So people, and that's why I share with you out, people who work out, you might see him go to the gym regularly, but you might don't understand sometimes their minds tell them not to go, but they do it anyway. Why? Because they know the results, it comes from putting their work. So now tell yourself I'm going to act as if, okay, act as if I don't feel like going what's happened now, you begin to go, you're going anyway, go anyway, okay, you can do that with your money, you can do with your finances, you can do that in relationships, You can act as if, okay, I'm gonna use this as an example. I'm going to love my spouse, no matter what. Again, spiritual principle commitment, commitment. When you're committed to something, you're always looking for something to keep you in the game, Right?

Right? You keep you keep it to make it work. You're looking for things to make it work. You're looking for similarities, you're looking for the things that are good, right? Because remember I always say that we judge other people the way what we judge ourselves. So if I'm critical of my wife nine times out of 10, I'm super critical of myself. So in order for me to do something differently and I'll stop, you know, get my foot, you know, keep my foot off my wife neck, I have to start saying things different li about her, okay, so instead of looking and folk finding which is I'm real good at, I can tell you all, I can tell you every defect my wife have, that's what I wanted to. Why? Because I've been conditioned, I've been doing it for so long, but now that God has got me loving myself now, he got me being patient with myself, he has me being being compassionate with myself and giving myself a break, right?

One of the best thing God ever done for me to talk me how to love me and accept me, right? So yeah, I use drugs or whatever, so what? Yeah, I ain't crazy sometimes. So what? That's that's what God tells me. So, what I said, Yeah, man, I'd be mean, since I so what? You're just a human being, that's all you are vernon, somebody told you you something else, I don't know, but you're just a human being subverted, be human, it's okay to be human and once I learned it's okay to be human, what happened is the holy spirit inside me began to show me grace. So now I'm interacting with people, I began to have grace and patience and mercy, and now I began to see the good things in people. Why? Because I began to see the good things in myself. So when whenever, whenever you want to do something different, remember yeah, it starts on the inside versus a man set, okay, it's a mindset, you have to be locked and loaded and you have to be conscious, okay?

You have to be conscious and something else. We we say in recovery again, I use a lot of analysis from recovery because you can practice this in all your affairs, okay? We say we say keep coming back, right, keep coming back a person that they're using drugs, right? We tell my bra easy, does it keep coming back? We encourage them to keep coming back Now they beat yourself up, keep coming back. So finally they, you know, they keep using drugs. But what happened? We put that in their minds and their minds. So once they out there using dope and they're going through that, that self loathing and they're going to that degradation. They're going through all this stuff in the isolation. They remember us telling them keep coming back, right? So what happened? They come back in and they look worse than they did. And we hug them, they smell bad. We hug them. We practiced the spiritual principle are welcome, right? We practice spiritual principle, Welcome their family, a light goes off and they began to listen and the light goes off and they began to get it a little bit.

Right? So now we teach them to keep coming back to meetings now we have to teach them to keep coming back, watch this, y'all to God, you have to keep going back to prayer. You have to keep coming back to spiritual principles, you have to keep coming back to whatever, going to give you a piece of mind. So what I'm telling y'all that's listening to this, y'all might not be in a recovery, that's okay. You don't have to be in the 12 step program to get this okay? This universal bruh, this you love is universal. No matter how many times you fail, Okay? And trying to lose weight, I'm gonna tell you right now, not only act as if I want you to keep coming back, I want everybody that's listening to this episode to get them accountability partner and you become an accountability partner and y'all hold each other accountable because that what God does, right?

God said, man should not live alone. Right? So, so God had put us in relationships, right? Not just intimate relationship he put us together so we can help each other. Stop trying to lose weight on your own. Stop trying to stop smoking cigarettes on your own. Stop trying to get your finances in line and correct on your own, allow people to help you, Okay? I'm going to pray for each person out there. Right? I'm going to pray right now. I want you all to pray God sends somebody who's gonna, who can help you because this thing, this journey, I think this thing called life is a journey, man, it's not a destination, it's a journey, learn to enjoy the journey. Listen man, when you're stopping and you're trying to lose weight and you're falling short, guess what bro? That's part of your journey.

That's part of your story. So how many times you, you failed and got up, That's irrelevant. The thing is God is going to deliver you Okay, I want you to believe this God gonna deliver you from that. You're going to begin to lose weight. You're gonna begin to talk nicely to yourself, you're gonna begin to see the good in yourself, right? And see God is going to show his grace and his mercy over you, I'm claiming it right now in jesus name that you are delivered from whatever you're having problems with, Okay, and you have to be willing to do something differently, man, reach out to me, y'all, y'all can contact me on twitter, right at recovery, underscore that that's that's my twitter, y'all can get follow me on instagram that christian out of order, Y'all can y'all can email me okay, sick and tired, you can hit me, y'all can hit me on my business, email, sick and tired recovery at gmail dot com.

Okay, y'all can reach out on my website site, sick and tire recovery dot com. Mhm. Come on, man. Let's, let's, let's, let's start, Let's start holding each other accountable, man. Let's start doing something differently. But remember y'all, it's a mindset and no matter what, no matter how many times you fail, don't you ever ever give up, man. Don't ever give up on you. Ever, man. You don't care what it is, man. Listen to what I'm sharing with. You. Don't ever give up on yourself. Don't ever lose hope. God had gave you hope, man. He believe in you. I believe in you. It's time for you to start believing in yourself. My name's Vernon L And I'm out.