The Community Strategy Podcast: The nexus where online community strategy meets intentionality

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Episode 58: Find Calm mastering your mindset with Jackie Cote

by Deb Schell
November 28th 2021
Okay. Yeah. Hi all and thank you for joining me here today on the bank on your podcast, I'm your host, Deb Schell, I interview uh community builders who offer tips on what's worked for them and resources that have helped them find calm in the community building process. If you're a new community builder or just considering a community to bring your clients, customers or audience together, but you don't know how or what to do. I'd be happy to help you gain a little clarity during the Discovery call. Um also you can sign up for the common community newsletter to learn more about the resources and tools to help you build a paid online community. Uh in our show notes, there will be a link to sign up for the newsletter and also to grab the Discovery called scheduling page if you need support and accountability with a group of community builders. I'd love to invite you to join the fun. Come here podcast community. I'm sorry, I didn't come here community, not the podcast community, although there are podcasters in the community. Um you'll receive support tools and resources to help you in every stage of your community building process um from launch to growing your membership and to tackle any challenges with the support of peers and it's a space that's affordable and enjoyable.

Got tons of awesome things happening inside our calm guides to support you at any stage, including the com guide to onboarding the com glide to launching and the calm guide to tech integration is actually currently being built and I'm gonna have a workshop in november about the com guide to tech integration. So excited about some new things that are happening inside the community. We also just kicked off the muddy mastermind, which is super exciting. Um gonna be working with A group of five people for a few months for three months. We're gonna just set some 90 day goals and and have some accountability calls and get excited for 2022 because oh my gosh, it's already the end of 2021. It went so fast, so, um, just wanted to give you a heads up on all those awesome things in developments and we're gonna get right to today's interview. So I'm excited to introduce today's guest, Jackie coat is a leadership and mindset coach who helps clients discover time, money and adventure by freeing themselves and creating a life they desire.

She helps her clients awaken in power and own the leader within That is dying to come out After 30 years as a leader in the restaurant industry, Jackie has learned firsthand that struggle doesn't have to be real and that life can get easier. Um, after her dedication to her team, she's led, she's helped staff members achieve promotions, go through, get through a family crisis, get through the first uh, their first job out of college and when coming to the US from another country, she helps them learn how to save money so they can achieve their goals, connect them with learning english tools and resources and getting out of debt and the gift of belief that they could do more than they ever thought possible. Jackie hosts a private group on facebook and shares tools and resources to help her community members transform from vision to reality welcome Jackie to the Fine come here podcast. But now it's like, isn't that the 2021 like that since Covid famous line. Amuse yourself on mute yourself.

I'm on mute. It's the number one line now, I'm so excited to be here Deb and thanks so much for the invitation and I love hearing all the stuff you have coming on going on and it's super exciting to hear all of that amazing stuff you've got for your people. So congratulations, thank you. So I want to hear what you've got going on, tell us a little bit about, you know, how, what you do and, and and who you are, you know, uh in the world Awesome. So um just kidding. We won't go that far back, but I did 30 years in the restaurant business like you had mentioned and in that industry since I was 14 I was handed the keys to be a manager and lead people and it was illegal then, but that's okay. Um, but they, and, and just kind of gravitated to me, I got my teaching degree, realized that that's really not for me in the long term, but it did help me um in a whole bunch of areas, but what really took me along my life journey was the restaurant industry and being in leadership and management and my absolute favorite passionate thing to do in that industry was to really help people see that they could achieve more than they ever thought they could achieve and really called that gift of belief for them until they reached it and then as they reached it, I'd always raise it higher and challenge them and keep going.

Um and this was I this also gave me the opportunity, I traveled the country, um wanted a cross country trip for a bunch of years and worked for some major companies like Starbucks and Outback and potbelly and um oh gosh more but Long story short that ended in 2018, but it ended in a perfect positioning of when I had just started exploring and learning what this coaching thing is, I don't know about you but three years ago I had no idea what coaching was except for like a football coach, soccer coach, whatever that kind of coaching, but I never knew that there was this world, this magical world out here of people, supporting people in this, in this form and fashion. And when I started going to the school and I was two months into getting my like health certificate, my life coaching certificate, stuff like that, it was two months into the process, no clue how to build a business and the job that I was with Which was the first time in my 30 years that I had stepped out of like that mentorship and leadership role and coaching people and helping people in the capacity that spoke about, I wouldn't put myself into a corporate office position and it was two years of like I would really now looking back, it was just really unhappy but I don't regret it because there's so much I learned from those two years about myself and that I needed for this next career.

So I love how you know the universe works. Um and then when they let me go, I had to make this like pivotal decision in 2018 do I go back and get a job which in that industry, anyone who's ever worked in the restaurant industry, it is super easy just to go back and get a job and I got three offers within like four weeks and I turned them down because it was a point in my life where I was like you know what, it's time to bet on me, it's time to do what I love and what I am so good at but in my own business I had no idea how to do it, like no idea, but all I knew is that I experienced when they let me go, I experienced some time off and I really don't, you don't get a lot of time off in that industry. It's like if you have a job, it's like 1 to 2 weeks a year and, and if they have enough space for you to take it and all sorts of stuff. So I was very, I very much lost my, I didn't have my um time freedom money, freedom. Um stuff like that. So when I tasted it and, and I stepped out on my own and and took some time off after getting let go, I was like, huh?

I really liked this. I took like seven vacations and like a nine month period. I like went where I wanted to go. I, I I just just breathe for a bit Fast forward. Um in February of 2019 I decided you know what if I'm going to coach others. Like I need to walk the walk and I hired my first coach and from that point on there was no looking back my, why was so much that I wanted to keep maintain my time, Freedom be able to make what I'm worth and the money, money, freedom is getting to the point where you get to make whatever level of money whether like that you believe and it's a lot about thoughts and beliefs and all that other stuff that you can get to and then that location, freedom turned into something totally new and different, which is I currently now live in an RV full time, I don't have an address, I don't have a permanent address, I have an address in South Dakota very random but I, I get to travel the country doing what I'm doing because I created this time location, money freedom business and so now I work to exactly what you talked about, I really help people explore and see what kind of freedom and adventure do you want more in life and um it doesn't mean you have to jump in an RV and travel the country like I'm doing but it's an option and I can tell you all about it, especially internet, I can tell you all about how to get how to prepare yourself for internet if you have an online job and you're traveling through anywhere.

Um it's, it's an interesting concept so that's where I'm at today Deb and I'm super excited to be able to help people step into that vision that they desire and stop putting it on hold like stop making it something that, oh once the kids graduate or once the kids get out of the house or once once I, I get to this point in my, my job then I'll consider doing something different and I work with both people who are entrepreneurs and employees of companies but the, I work with employees of companies who have an entrepreneurial spirit who own what they're doing and they want more time freedom, Money freedom and have multiple clients that have moved into higher levels in that freedom and all those areas because they changed, you know their mindset and their communication and their boundaries and all sorts of stuff and so they really got to step into this leadership of themselves like the leadership within that leader we have within of us within us really it has to come out so that you can achieve that freedom and adventure that you desire and and stop putting it on hold.

That's all I can say. It's it's time to make that vision a reality. It's so beautiful. There's so many things that you just shared there and I was, I was just thinking um I feel like we're in a time period where we're creating the new american dream. You know the old american dream was like you know have that white picket fence and the house and the and the job and the and the and the car and you know the vacations and the new american dream to me in my eyes a new dream of not even just american dream but there's just a new lifestyle dream for me and it sounds like you and a lot of other people is time freedom. We don't, we don't have, we only have a limited, the only thing that we have is today we don't know And even in this moment we don't know what's gonna happen after this moment, there is no guarantee that we're gonna make it to retirement age of 65 when we're saving up to then live our life.

And one of the things that I just really connected to a couple of years back was that message of just why, why am I working so hard? And I was in the restaurant industry for many years, I did housekeeping, and I did waitress, I was a horrible waitress, waitress at like eton Park when I lived in Pittsburgh. And I, you know, I did a lot of different, you know, odd jobs throughout my career, because I went to school for journalism and journalism, painting money, but it's just fascinating that then I was in a sales job for five years and similar to yours a little bit, you know, I just was like, I need, this isn't what I want, like this is just not what I want in life. And it's it's scary, right? It's scary to um to step away from this idea. And I was talking to my sister yesterday about this time, I was just like, once you work, like, you don't have to work all the time, so when you're like, not in survival mode, then it's like, now what?

And then there's this idea of when I get to x, you know, when I make my first, you know, six figures or when I um you know, lose this amount of weight and the problem that I feel like I've been having a lot is just why, you know, when we get to these places then what, like, okay, so now what And it's just been fascinating. I'm curious as to what your thought is around, You know? How do you, what was there a moment that you just like realized like this is the thing that I need. And then what was the steps maybe a step by step? Do you take any specific steps that you can recall that you could share um in how to transform that, how you transformed your life? Mm hmm. That's a great question. And definitely it's definitely part of my passion. Um a couple of things that popped up when you were talking, like one is about the life that we create. Like we don't know if we're gonna make it to this age or that age. And so what I'm really passionate about is creating a life that I desire and fitting like the business and the career into it.

Which is so the opposite of what we were ever taught, right? It was like you said, like, get a good job, get benefits, security safety. I call them the golden handcuffs, you know, whatever you want to call them. And so stepping into like creating the life you desire and then like the money and success and fitting that into it versus the opposite because a lot of people shoot for that money and success, but they don't shoot for the the life that they want to live around that and so what's the purpose of having all that if you don't have the life that you're really enjoying and loving and stuff like that. So that's one point to another point that came up and I'm going to get to your question. But another point was that whole thing about discomfort you said, like you had mentioned it's it's it's hard to like jump out and risk on your own and like take leaps and and and all those risks and stuff. But we're going to have discomfort no matter what. So we're either going to have the discomfort of not living the life we desire or discomfort of living the life we desire either way, there's discomfort, right? And so why not choose the one that the uncomfortable itty and discomfort that comes along with having your dreams and your vision which leads me to what like what clicked for me and the kind of the steps that I took was I would have never thought to be honest.

I would have never left the restaurant business if I didn't get fired at that point and I I probably would have stayed in that like safety security. It was a six figures. Um it was and I got offered that to like to replace it pretty quickly cause you're like a piece of meat in the restaurant business. But um so you, I had this like epiphany that was like, oh my gosh, this is my like this is the universe smacking me in the face, which I didn't really get the whole energy universe all that stuff back then, but it was this big old sign that said it's time to go and it's time to like bet on you and do your own thing cause I always thought I wanted my own restaurant. So anyone who's been in the restaurant industry is like, oh, I'm gonna have my own one day. Yeah, that's like signing like a check for a lifetime, like signing your life away to the industry now, I'm not saying I won't do it one day, but I'll do it when I can have other people run it part of my dream, but I was like, okay, one step one was to really figure out like honestly find out where am I in today. So I took the six months that they were giving me unemployment, a little severance package and I took that six months and I really like worked on me and healed me and went through my program that I was in and I had a lot of stuff that I realized didn't realize I was like calling back, so really paying attention to me and making myself the priority.

So that is the first step in any growth that you do, stop putting everyone else first and stop putting yourself on the back burner and put yourself first and really get honest honest with where you're at and take that time that you need for yourself. Um Whether it's in small increments each day or whether it's like completely taking time off and taking time off in 30 years of my life and I took like six months, where I just. and I had saved money and I had some backup and had credit cards and stuff like that that I swore I'd never use and I used them because it was so important for me to take that step. Step two was get the support you need. I got to this point where I was like, I could try to build a business and figure it out on my own and do all the little, like things that I see online and like, like, like this little course here in this little course and try to piece it all together and figure it out or I can invest in myself and get the support that I need to help me get there with somebody who had done what I'm desiring to do and that's exactly what I did.

And actually we're still coaching, we still coached together. She's still my coach three years later. Um, so it's important to get the support that you need and stop Thinking that you're not worthy of investing in yourself. So that would be step two. Step 3 kicked in for me when I was doing all the things I came from an industry that was very, very busy busy busy and I was doing all the things, I was like filling my calendar up and I was going to every networking meeting and meeting a million people. And I was complaining community, which is what you do so well online, you know, and you help people do. And I was doing it in person pre covid and I was like, oh my gosh girl, I was doing meetings and this and that and all sorts of stuff and I wasn't making any money and why? Because I was not in my mindset wasn't right on believing that I was worthy to pay for my service to help other people and here's the reality guys. If you don't fix that money mindset, like you can't help the people, you're meant to help in this world and you cannot expand your reach to help them make the impact that you're meant to make in this earth, if you do not believe that you're worthy of the money to pay you for your services.

So work on that money mindset. I do a lot of that work in my coaching. Um and so what one day my coach said to me was just hilarious. She said she's like, okay, I'm gonna ask you to do nothing that there was like september of 2019, she's gonna ask you to do nothing more in october And I was like, what? And I was like, she's like, don't fill your calendar, don't think she's like spend more time being you just being you and the point I tell you about this story, Like I ended up making more money that month and then we did it again in november and I like lightened my schedule and I had more money in november and even more in december and then increased from there. And that's the beginning of my journey. And here's the point to that is that I learned how to trust and surrender. I know that I'm enough, trust that I'm enough, trust that I'm worthy and surrender to the fact that we are not in this journey alone and boy did, I think I was in this journey alone, I thought I was in this journey alone and I had this like, like chip on my shoulder that I don't need any help and let me tell you that is not true and that's what creates the struggle. And so I learned that the struggle is not real lean, lean in, you know, take the actions and stuff like that, but then lean back and trust and surrender to what's meant to be happening in your world and knowing that you're enough.

So after that it's really, um just making sure that you maintain the support, work on the mindset daily, like we will sit there and and put so much time into like how's our nutrition, how's our fitness, how's this sort of, or like like, like focusing on everyone else. But yeah, the thing that we do not work on daily is this thing between our two ears and we get stuck in this thing called r head so much so doing the day to day rewiring of the beliefs and the thoughts and there's a whole whole lesson and the thing I do and that with my with my peoples and um and work on that muscle every day because if you want different results than what you have today, you have to think differently. You cannot like your thoughts that got you here today and your beliefs that got you here today. Got you here today to where you are today and what you see around you. But if you want something different, you got to think differently. You gotta believe differently and that's the work, you can do all the action in the world and that was proof of it. You can do all the action in the world and you will struggle and you will beat your head against the wall if you don't do the work between the two years.

So those are some of my main points is take the time for yourself, make yourself a priority, get the support you need and trust. Trust and you gotta, you gotta see it, see it, see it before you sees it. Like you got to believe before you achieve and then you got to be willing to receive it because I was not willing to receive it because I didn't think I was worthy of it. So mm my gosh you are so inspiring to me right now because I have just been going through so many of these feelings that you're mentioning um and and just struggling a lot with them really in the last couple of weeks and in this last week actually a lot. Um and I wanted to this point so I kind of did this similar thing I left in 2019 with from my corporate job thinking I had a plan and you know I had some savings and then it all went to crap with Covid and then I like change directions and changed my entire um career into this community space and I've just been so struggling with the mindset around money and I really wanted to put myself first in the first year and Tony Tony and I didn't and then you know I was just I was doing what you were talking about networking all the time, trying to like get out there, trying to scrambling around basically just trying to figure out how I can survive so that I don't have to go back to a corporate job because I was like on this teeter totter of like should I go get a job, should I not get a job, Should go get a job, should not get a job And I felt like I was giving mixed messages to the universe almost in a way of just saying you know, and somebody even said, well Deb if you're wanting your business to work and to be successful, then why are you also like applying to these like part time jobs?

And it was out of fear and scarcity of like, okay, what if I'm not good enough, what if I'm not, I'm just not going to get enough clients and Um, and just spending so much time of like digging into like what I really want and what? So this year in 2021, I've really been digging into like okay, um, what do I really want? How can I really support myself best put myself first having that better money mindset of like believing I am worthy of this. And, and, and you know, there's no, and a lot of these life, a lot of people think that you have to have certifications and qualifications and women come up a lot of times when they say women come from a stand, so we have to prove that we're capable when men, you know, and, and this is a, you know, sexist statement in some senses. So men don't take offense to this. But there is some kind of a statement of saying, it's been said that men, you know, just have to have to show up and have the potential, whereas women have to prove.

And I feel like that is something I really resonated with for a lot of times that I just had to prove that I'm that I'm capable. Um but I didn't realize that it's already part of me that I am capable and it is me and it's my entire life experience that brought me to this moment that makes me um certified or approved to do what I'm doing and I didn't know that for a long time. Amen. That's why I'm so glad you had that realization because it really just comes down to the thought that we're having about the circumstance. The fact the fact is you want to build a business and be a business owner, right? Of X, Y. Z. And then the thought is I have to prove myself. I have to prove myself to make this right? Well then the feelings that come from that is like a push and hustle and and and a uh I gotta, I gotta be better like like just like this against the world kind of attitude and then the actions and the results are like a struggle. The actions are, you know the energy doesn't match up with the actions and the belief and then the results are like not what you do, not what you're desiring.

So the key to like the whole thing is what's the thought that supports the fact. And a lot of times with the thoughts and the feelings we have about a situation, we turn them into the fact when in reality it's not, it's just a thought which is causing a feeling. And when we turn that thought and feeling into the fact we are now clouding the fact the circumstance and the circumstances that, you know, you're a female business owner and you wanna build a business, right? That's just a fact and whatever you attached to that, and this is a whole thought model that I teach in my coaching, but that when we make that the fact that gets really cloudy and it gets really, like, like, it becomes true to us. Like, it's true that, you know, in my, my health journey right? To me, it is true that I've always been the bigger girl, the big girl, right? And that's a that's a that's a description. That's not true. That's just, I've been me great. The fact is my body is my body right? And the thought and the feeling behind is like, I'm bigger than everyone else.

Like, I'm not as attractive as anyone and everyone else, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever all those feelings and thoughts that come up from somebody who has a battled a weight issue per se or let me say there's a thought battling a weight issue, I'm not battling anything. I'm somebody who is extremely energetic healthy, where I'm at um I love the body that I'm in, I'm proud of the body and those are new thoughts, right? It's not always the thoughts I had by any means, those are not the thoughts I had my whole life. But now it's like replacing the thoughts and the feelings that that come from. The fact the fact is my body is my body. What are you gonna think about it? It's your choice. You get to decide this way or this way, It's your choice and you have that power. We have so much power and I hope this helps you through this week right now, is that you have so much power dead inside of you to take whatever thoughts you're having about a factor of circumstance and change it to what it is that you desire. And that is why I'm really passionate. I start all clients with a vision, like you have to have a vision of what it is that you want to achieve, receive all that stuff.

But what does it feel like is more important? Like what is it gonna feel like you mentioned earlier, like the whether it's the way it goes, something about the weight goal and the money gold and stuff like that, and like when we get there, it's not true. It's like we get to feel everything that we think we like that we desire to feel when we get to the goal. Now, today, right now, in this moment, you get to have all of that. And if you can when you when you can see that the power you have brings you to that moment and that feeling you then your brain starts to function on a known factor, that this is true to Deb, this is true to Jackie and it can take action on it. That's why a vision bringing the vision to the present and feeling it. You know, like experiencing it as if it's already happened is what creates the actions and the results you desire. We can't control the power of the wind. So just kind of check that at the door, like you don't know how long it's gonna take. Like tomorrow, you can make the money that you desire.

It can take you six months, but we don't we can't control that per se. We don't have control over that. We do have control what we feel the intentions of what we want to feel when we receive the thing and bring it into today. And then what thoughts honor that, Does that make sense? Yeah, that's lovely. Thank you so much for sharing. Um so profound. And I was like, I was thinking about the book I listened to, I was camping over the weekend, I went solo camping and yeah, I was so terrified. You know I cried, this is going into so much, I'm like feeling very emotional this week, so I'm just going to be going, I'm like whatever, let's go podcast listeners if you want to leave, that's okay, this is, this is talking about community in a second, but I will be honest with you and say I was terrified as somebody who loves being around people, I love being around people and I just was had this very sad feeling around, I'm gonna be alone at this campground and I knew I needed to have some alone time, but I was just not looking, it was like I had, I knew I had to do it, but I didn't want to do it kind of thing.

Um, and then I was excited, I was like, why am I upset? Because this is something I get to do, not something I'm like get to go to a campground and get to go to see the pennsylvania Grand Canyon, which is where I went this past weekend, but I was listening to this book book called radical acceptance by Tara brock and she was just talking a lot about some of the things that you brought up and one of the things that somebody in my, in my program that I'm in, in the community that I'm in had reminded me of this book and one of the things that you mentioned was, we can't do it alone. And so I'm bringing it back, I'm scoping, I'm circling it back to community and just saying, you know, I was the entrepreneur who said, I can do it all myself and I try to do that and hustle all of 2020 and that was what I and I went, I burned myself out at the end of 2020 and I was miserable and I'm supposed to be this like fine calm here person, like the calm person and I'm just not anything but calm and so this year this 2021 has really been transformative for just me exploring these different avenues of different ways to think, but it's the, it's because of the communities that I'm a part of as a participant, not that I, you know, not just the fine come here, community has been super supportive, but these other communities that I've been in have just been massively important in my life, in all aspects in business and in personal life and so, and I've been loving your inspirational post.

I keep track on, on those. I'm not super in your community and your, you know, in your facebook group, but I really love these um positive vibes that you're putting into the group around it is possible to do what you want to do, it is possible to, if you want to be in a van or, or RV and traveling around, you can do that if you want to leave your job, you can do that if you want to start your own business, you can do that. And so I was really excited that I wanted to just ask to talk a little bit about your facebook group and like what you're doing with people in there and what lights you up about community. Yeah, I love it, I love it. And and and I'm super celebrating you for taking that time to be alone because I will tell you in the beginning of my journey, it was really hard for me to be alone. Like I needed noise, I needed people, I needed all of the things that would help me avoid me and when you get silent and alone like that and girl girl the tears came many many times. I trust me, I am with you during that time frame and that that was crucial for my journey and for my healing.

So if anyone's like struggles in that capacity where it's afraid to be alone, afraid to be just you like and you drown out everything by doing everything for others and you drown it out because you don't want to face you, please please reach out to one of us because it is something that absolutely has to be healed so that you can move forward and really step into the truest version of view. So I just wanted to add that in there because that was a big turning point for me as well when I could actually be with just me. Okay, so community. Um so for me I'm going to be really honest, the beginning of my journey with this coaching business, I really used my personal page as my community before I built a group whatsoever and my personal facebook pages where I was able to be me vulnerable, authentic show up, get my message out and that's like a bigger like that, that was like a bigger pool of people and I didn't really know what to do with the group quite yet, right? And so I really built a community amongst my own personal and I have a lot of people like to say, well that's personal versus business, but it's really not like facebook is a tool that um or install whatever you choose.

Um these are tools to help you get your message to the world and if your message, you keep your message private, you can't impact the people in your world that you want to impact. Um so the one thing I will tell you is stop making it about you when you stop and you decide not to do for those by the way, I'm a Jersey girl and I'm really blunt and honest, so you'll catch some of that in this interview. Um the when we decide that we're going to like keep things private quiet. This that and I'm not saying you have to like where are all your laundry into your group or into your private page but share the world with the world. Like the journey you're going on just like Deb did on this call just now, just like I am because that is where people connect trust and like and and form that nurturing relationship where you get to form that nurturing relationship with others when we keep it um when we decide not to share or decide to keep to keep quiet or to not post or not, click the button or not go live or whatever it is that your desiring to do. Your ego is talking, your ego is doing all the talking not your heart.

And so get out of ego and get into heart when it comes to what's holding you back from the actions that you want to take in your business. And if that is creating a community that like what Deb helps people do is that community itself, that's what they want to know that like they're not alone, they want to know that they're human. So that's where I started on the personal page and then I filtered it into a private group and the private group actually like I started it and then I like kind of put it on silent for a while and then I really like vamped it. And because I had built such a community on my personal page, it's still pretty quickly like it got like it got pretty Big pretty quickly, not big but like it went from like 100 to like 500 in like four days because of the people that were following me on the personal page. So if you're not sure then you can start in that capacity, but once you get in the community, like how do you, what's the purpose of it? My purposes for connection um collaboration, connection, education and a safe place for people to just be themselves to say what they want to say to to hear, like to learn what they need to learn.

Um and just be in this community and the, the way I treat my community is like I travel a lot, so I don't get to see a lot of people in person unless I'm in your neighborhood and I will find you if I'm in a certain town because I looked through on my list to see who's in pennsylvania, who's in New Jersey, who's in new york, and I try to find people to hook up with them and spend time with them in live coffee dates. So if I'm in your area right now, I'm in new york, but if I'm in your area I posted on facebook, so you can say, okay, you're here now, so let's hang out. Um but because of that, like I need to nurture a lot online, I need to talk to people online. So I talk to you just like I do every day and you know the way you're never going to get like a Jackie in person versus the Jackie online, It's, you have to be authentically you when you come from an authentic place from a place of service, authentically, you you are that magic. There is not a single day that you'll feel like you're selling anything in your business. And so the community yes, the facebook is a tool to help you market your business, but there is not a day that anyone says to me, Jackie, I feel like you're over, you're really like pushing the sales thing, like you can look at my stuff and like you said it's very inspirational, but there's still stuff about what I do in there and there's still offers to work with me and to talk to me and do my free Vision call and spend an hour with me and see if I can help you and see if I can find the right support that you need.

Like we were both talking about um and that's gonna be that's part of it, but because I share my life and I like nurture people and I create relationships within that community, I get to, that gets to be comfortable. It gets to be easy, it gets to be this transition of, it gets to be this connection of like, like she helped, she's supporting me, she's she's she's there for me and now she's got this thing that seems like a great fit for me and then people decided to work with me and so your community starts with building relationships, It starts with getting people to know that they can trust you like you and that you're speaking to them and that you're helping them in in in in ways that they're not getting like people don't get that kind of stuff at home or at work as much as we think, right? We assume like oh the world like I'm in this like bubble now that like all the world is like so surprised it's not. And so when you get that support that you need, whether it's in a free community, like minds destiny makers rise up or whether it's in the fine com group, you know, find your community because you cannot do this alone.

So let me just stress that just what Deb said earlier, I love it. I love it. So many great things you said. They're so funny. Um I've just, you know, I was talking earlier about the money situation of just being in a fear mindset and a couple of months ago I did a discovery call with a potential client and her and I talked and at the end of the call I said you know, do you want to you know move forward, I can send you a proposal. And she goes, you know what Deb I think we're okay. I think I've got like you've helped me so much just on this call that I think I'm good. She is but I want to help you. How can I help you? I'm a, you know, a business coach. Um would you would you be willing to talk to chat with me about your business? And I was like okay sure. And so she offered me a free call. So then um I got on a call with her and uh in a in a different capacity of you know what she does. And she asked me a lot of questions that were like challenging the answer around revenue and like my business practices and um I guess the answers were like sounded good and she goes, you know what, I think you're on the right path, but I really want to help you, so let's work together.

So we ended up uh and we're working together and she she allowed me to see the potential that I knew was there, but I just didn't see at that moment I was, you know, coming out of again, fear of of this, am I gonna be able to do this? Am I gonna be able to to live a lifestyle that I want. Um and you know, without having to go back to a corporate job and within a month of working with her, I got three clients contracts and then I got more people on calls and I expanded my network even bigger and then I met more people, it's just, it opened up to this and then I just decided, you know, after that I said, you know, I'm just gonna go forward, I'm just gonna believe that the universe has my back that this is what I'm supposed to do right now, this is the business for me, that it's you know, I'm gonna do what I do, I use some credit, I'm using credit cards to support me here and there. I'm doing, you know, some some things as far as just to support myself, But money is just money.

You know, I paid off $46,000 when I a couple of years back when I was, it's it's money. You know, it's you can pay it back that you can't get back life. You can't get back the missing time. It always supports us, always supports us. And if we can just have faith in that, it always supports us. I want to say something about you said that she said something about you said she could see things that I couldn't see. And that's what, that's what getting the support you need helps you do. Like, we help you read the label on the outside of the jar, like you're stuck in this jar, you cannot read your own label no matter how good a coach is. They cannot do their own thing. Like it just it you're in it, you're in the thick of it. You're in the bottle, You're in the jar. You can't see it and that's what it takes another human on the other side to be able to see the potentiality, the the things that are holding you back to. Like it could be a single statement that you could say that you don't realize is what's stopping you this entire time.

And you say it and the person on the other side because they're not in, it hears it reflects it back to you and you go, oh my gosh, did I just do, I think that way, like, and because it does that make sense? Like it's so important, so important. So I'm so glad that that you and her aligned and resonated and she was able to help you move forward in that. So it's such a good story. Deb such a good story. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And it shows the power of working with a coach and just putting some um trust in another person and being authentic and vulnerable. And that's another point that you had mentioned and um it's really, it's hard, but the more honest you can be and the more vulnerable it builds that really unbreakable bonds and relationship with the people. 100% there is nothing that will bond a community faster than people who are like just being raw and vulnerable in moments that they need help and then seeing how amazing people show up to support them because we're all humans, we're all humans, we all want to do awesome things in the world.

I mean I'm guessing unless you're a serial killer or something you want to you want to do great things in the world and you don't necessarily know how or what to do and sometimes it gets overwhelming and that's how community can be so supportive and um so it's exciting to hear your journey around. Like I also in the same same, we have a lot of similarities you and I, but I also built my first community through my personal facebook page. I'm not super active on instagram but facebook, I have a lot of people that not a lot of people, but I have a few people that mentioned to me like I follow you on facebook and um, so I've built some, some really good community on my personal facebook group and when I started find calm here, I had considered a facebook group but then I decided I wanted to do something off, you know, on another platform on and I decided the money Networks was where I wanted to host a private space. And that's another good point of saying, you know, wherever it is, no matter what platform, the platform isn't important, the relationship is important and the just being you um can be hard, but when you are willing to, to do, to be, to be vulnerable, it, it really does open up the door to so many other things.

And so I am so thankful that you share that with us. Um what are you, is there anything that you're excited about with either the facebook group or is there anything that you're excited about the next couple of months or going into the new year that you're Yeah, yeah, I'm actually super excited about. There's a new program that I'm launching next year that it's going to be almost like an academy for and I apologize, I've been drinking tea and it went down the wrong pipe and it's still tickling my throat vulnerability. Um, the, the group is called the Leader within Academy and it's going to be all the things that I've created in the past A year and a half of building my business. I've done a lot of shorter, 6-8 week programs. What I've discovered at this point because the universe loves laying everything out for us and sometimes we don't notice it. Um, it's going to be all into one program and I'm crazy excited to take people through that journey because it layers everything like we've talked about and more and that's coming up in january and in the group I'm going to be doing a lot of um lives about and in interviews.

Um I have a financial coach is gonna be part of the program. I have a fitness and nutrition coach that's going to be part of the program and you'll get support from them on a month every month. You'll get support with them as well as everything that I'll be doing in the program to help you really bring that leader within out in all areas of life, not just your business, like leadership, in your family, leadership, in your community leadership, in your group leadership, wherever used you, you're the leader with you and within you is hiding and is dying to come out. That is the we take you through a journey to help you stand tall in all those areas and that program starts in january, but I'm going to be doing a lot in my private group. The Destiny makers rise up group. I'm gonna be doing a lot of videos about the material that um so you'll get a lot of free snippets and free nuggets from that to help support you to get some ah ha's to know like okay, what can I do to move forward with boundaries? Like set more boundaries, like better communication um like a stronger vision. Uh how do I change my thoughts like all of that and we're gonna be doing that in the community and interviews with the coaches that will be supporting that will be supporting you along the program as well in the private group.

How fantastic! So cool. Oh, I love everything that you're doing. I'm psyched that you're like traveling in your RV because that's been also like a kind of, I don't know about an RV. I want to get an suv and do like maybe a, you know, six months or something and just be bopping around the west if it's just you you and a pet or just you and you want to travel around you don't need much. You really don't need much because there's like whether it's you stay in that or whether you do like cheap Airbnb s just there's so many options now and like, you can stay in these gorgeous places on the beach for like half the price of a hotel with Airbnb is now you can stay on the lake, you can stay on the beach, you can stay wherever with an RV and just park it wherever you want to go. Like tomorrow I could be on the beach and right now I'm in the reigning woods, but tomorrow I can take this thing to a beach, you know what I mean? So like that's the possibilities of what you can do with your life. So I'm excited to watch your journey to. It's so true. And so this week, one of the things that's happened has my mom had to go into the hospital and she's okay, but she's had some medical issues and she has been a part time nanny for my sister who has a three year old and a newborn baby.

And so my sister like calls me and she's like, can you come, can you come help? And this, you know, this is monday I had just gotten back from my camping trip and I was like, yeah, I only have like two calls today. I didn't have a full time job that I had to go to that I had, I would have to call off or you know, ask somebody for permission to like do a half a day or something. I had this beautiful ability to support my sister and my niece and nephew and my mom by bringing her some stuff that she needed to the hospital when she was admitted and I was so grateful. Um yesterday that I was sharing that honor honor in my group session that I have with my, one of my community group sessions and it's just such a powerful thing to be able to so now that I am able to support other people in my life and myself better because I put those priorities in place and changed my life in a way that um but I'll never go back to like, you know, hustling in that way of, you know, having either excessive like amounts of jobs or or or working for 14 hours at my desk to, to to do things and that's just such a beautiful thing.

So I thank you for helping others to have that realization and vision two things are possible. Um people want to find you share with us how they can find you connect with you and uh get to know you first of all, you gave me goose bumps with that story because that's what it's all about. It's not about the money and it's not about all the other stuff because the money does come, it's about that, it's about having that freedom to be able to do what you want when you want wherever you want without having to ask for permission from anyone, including yourself. That is a statement I live by and so I'm so excited for you that you got to do that anyway where you can find me, you can find me. Um, you know, first of all, feel free to, let's be friends on facebook. Jackie coat is my thing, you know the name. Um let's be friends on facebook. That's really where you'll really get to know me. And then from there I have a link to my Destiny makers group. My Destiny makers rise up group is where I do any kind of challenge, three challenges videos, community connection. It's a great way. I've had many people meet other people and become friends through the group as well. So it's definitely a community to get to know other people, get to know other people and um, I'm not big on instagram.

I do have an instagram and um, then my website is Jackie coat coaching dot com. Um, so, but really facebook's my jam and come, come hang out with me, let's be friends and who knows I might be in your state and I can pop by your with my RV one day and say hello, I hope so. I hope I get to chat with you and meet you in person sometime in the next a couple of months because that would be fantastic and we're not too far apart at this moment anyhow, I'm in Harrisburg pennsylvania. Okay. Yeah, we talked a while ago and you were actually in this area. Yeah I was in the pennsylvania like campsite. You're right, we're heading to Virginia. So funny next. So what part of Virginia we're gonna be in? Um we're gonna leave here thursday, we're gonna go to Jersey to see my parents because they're in Toms River Jersey for like just overnight and we're heading down to right so we're going to be down in a Virginia beach for two weeks. Really a mess of nothing for a week and then we'll be in florida for a week and then we're finally heading west, we're going to head west down the south part and we're probably going to hit Louisiana and then end up in texas because one of my friends has a ranch in texas with a whole bunch of cool animals that I get to play with um where she's got an actual an RV site with full hookups to on at the ranch.

I'm like perfect, I'm gonna park my RV there and hang out with my friend and her animals and her husband and kid and yeah, so I'm excited. Oh my gosh, that sounds so funny, funny and awesome and exciting and it's so we are in so alignment that it's wacky like weird crazy because I was supposed to go to Virginia beach on friday saturday for a week to see a best friend that lives down there. Um I canceled it because can I cancel my Airbnb because of my mom's to be around and support my family. But I but my cousin and um my families, my dads family grew up in Toms river, New Jersey. So I'm very I'm very familiar with that area. We've been there several times since I was growing up, so I'm familiar with that area too, and uh I've been planning to go to florida, but I haven't gotten there yet, so I mean I got there earlier this year, but I wanted to get back before the end of the year and I didn't get there yet. So hopefully in the next couple of months I might be able to sink a quick trip down to florida.

But uh thank you so much for for being on this podcast. For sharing your message for doing everything that you do, inspiring me and everyone else. I'm sure that's listening. Thank you all for listening. Hopefully you've subscribed and just f. Y. I. That we did go to bi weekly podcast episodes. So um every other week the podcast will be dropping um still setting out email uh weekly emails in the newsletter. So any new exciting things coming up, I will share in the newsletter and um getting vamped up for 2022. I've got a lot of ideas that I'm pondering. So I'm excited to talk without all of you. If you have any um burning questions, please definitely just set up a discovery call with me if you're interested in being a guest and sharing about your community on the podcast, you can email me at Deb at finds calm here dot com. I just go to finding calm here dot com and you can grab the link to contact me or shoot me an email there until the next time.

I hope you are finding calm in this day, evening, morning, afternoon, wherever it is, whenever it is for you hope your funding calm until the next time. Take care and talk to you soon. Bye.

Episode 58: Find Calm mastering your mindset with Jackie Cote
Episode 58: Find Calm mastering your mindset with Jackie Cote
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