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It's Time To Start Taking Personal Responsibility For Yourself

by Mark & Annette Anderson
November 15th 2021

It's Time To Start Taking Personal Responsibility For Yourself

This podcast will help you get out of a paycheck-to-paycheck cycle. If you're tired of the race for money and want to ... More

listeners. It's marking a net with trail angels powered by carrying the load. And today is a great day for us because we finally, and I'll explain finally in a minute are able to speak with robert Lancaster, who we have had a tough tough time putting everything together, haven't we? We really have. And robert and I were chatting before we started recording this. We talked about, there's a reason, there's a reason why it hasn't worked out and we are just grateful robert that you would be patient with us and we continue to persevere and here we are. And and we're thrilled to have you be a part of trail Angels. So so welcome robert. We're glad to have you with us. Today. You're coming to us from Ontario Canada. Absolutely. And there's no better place I'd rather be right now than with you too. And having a conversation. Oh, that's very kind of you to say that we, we appreciate that. And you know what? We can say the same because before we were chatting prior to coming live here, we were talking about some of the dilemmas that we get ourselves into.

We, we talk about the fact that not only and you know, and I talk a lot about the emotional trauma that people deal with, the physical trauma that people deal with because of injuries because of accidents. We've had a lot of people that have had some incredible stories of resilience because of how they were able to become a different person based upon what happened to them. But today we wanted to talk about something just a little bit different and it has to do with our finances. But before we do that, I need to share with our listeners a little bit about robert and about who he is. And I'll tell you, it's a very interesting story because I can relate a lot to where you're coming from. Uh, as an entrepreneur Robert Moon castor as early as 12 years old has spent the last 25 years in the debt collection industry and owning a collection agency. Now, if that doesn't turn people off right now, I don't know, it will.

But believe me, this is interesting stuff. And the reason why this is going to be interesting is because we get ourselves in pickles sometimes when it comes to our finances. But he's got some robert has got some great analysis. He's got some great ideas as to how to help people with that whole idea of managing money a little bit better, robert has helped his clients recover millions of dollars and coached consumers in a difficult place to conquer their challenges. Move towards abundance. And I love that word abundance because abundance means more than just just having more money, doesn't it? Absolutely. Um, you know, it's nothing means anything except for the meaning you give it. And so, uh, yeah, abundance is just family. Uh finance, health. Absolutely. It's all, you know, how you do everything is how you do anything. And so, you know, our health plays a part in our finances and and our career and just about everything in life.

It's all connected. Yeah, yeah. And I think we're going to explore that in our, in our path today. You know, as an NLP trained coach, you've helped many people get unstuck on their path to thriving. And again, I love I love the words that you use in your biography here. The word thriving, just as abundance has an important meaning. And we'll talk about how a person can thrive, not only not not only physically emotionally, but uh with their assets and with their resources they've been given. Now, I'm not going to read a little bit more about you here, because I want you to share the story about your accident at the age of 19 and how that change your trajectory and the fact that the doctors didn't give you much of a chance for survival. But before I get too ahead of myself, I'd love for you to kind of share with our listeners a little bit more about you personally and why you are where you're at today. Thank you. So, it I was born with bilateral clubbed feet.

And so at a very early age, one of the first things the doctor shared with my mother was that I probably would never walk and because of this, you know, being born that way. And you know, the story that's conveyed to me is that I ran into that doctor's office when I was six months old. So I never really started walking, I just started running. So he was right. Absolutely. And so I've had such a privileged um you know, I'm so grateful for my family for my parents. When I was 12 years old, I started selling chocolate bars in front of banks. I actually sold I think my record was 275 chocolate bars in an afternoon in front of a bank and $3 each. But um you know, it really gave me an opportunity to speak with people and to really engage in conversations and really learn about people to see you know, what what is it that people want or what is it that people need so that I could, you know have that conversation with them and Really engaged.

Um I got into collections when I was 17 years old. Uh my boss actually pretended I was a year older than I really was so that I could actually pass the bond or what have you. And um so I started doing collections and I did it for a couple years and I was very I had a talent for it. Um you know just simply being a people person, I'm able to communicate, really connect with people and I thought, you know, there has to be something else. And so I actually switched and I became a credit counselor and I thought you know, I'm really going to help people because this collection so negative and and I can go and help people by doing credit counseling and help people that way. And what I really quickly discovered was um no offense to, you know, to the, to the industry. I just found that the credit counseling was it was exactly the opposite of what I thought it was because now instead of the banks and instead of the department store credit cards paying me to recover their money. Credit As a credit counselor, I was charging somebody 2030% of their debt to for them to pay it back.

And so it didn't make sense to me that I was getting a paycheck from people that were struggling to make their ends meet. Um so it was a it was a really, it was an interesting wake up call and so I went back to collections with a different perspective and more of a priority of focusing on on win win and and ensuring that I was actually making a contribution to these, you know, to these people's lives as opposed to being you know, an adversary or a sandpaper, you know, contributing to their misery, so to speak. You know, I'm glad you clarified that because you don't impress me as being guido the debt collector. You seem like you're much more of a helpful person and I'm really glad that you shared us with us that idea of not just being the debt collector but helping people and coaching people to get out of debt. Absolutely. It's it's priorities right. And and you know when somebody, when a when a when a collector communicates with somebody most of the time it's because they've really uh the individual, the person, the consumers is done everything they could and they just kind of thrown in the towel and said, I don't know what else to do, do your worst.

And so when when I'm communicating with people a lot of times it's from a very defeated place. And so you know, one of the greatest things from this side of the table to see is you know, if you deprive somebody of of of food for long enough, it's amazing what the human ingenuity will do to get food and or water. And unfortunately this day and age we've placed money and physical things up on that priority list that often associated with as important as food and water. Um when you know it's the greatest thing that I know to be true is that I'll always have enough. It may not be everything I want, but the magic of being human is I'll always make sure that I have enough to to perpetuate and to continue. And so as as tough as the situation might be. Um everything's gonna work out right. I appreciate so many things that you've just shared with us.

But that attitude of knowing everything will work out and that even though it might not be what we've dreamt of or what we thought enough looked like. We will always have enough when we focus on the important things of life, focus on and like you said, money isn't yet, but we do need money to be able to um participate in life and, and society many is is needed. You know, I, as we were talking before, I was sharing sometimes when we were really tight financially, um, mark it well and we have health insurance, but the sad thing was that the health insurance didn't cover a lot of the treatments that our son, they were suggesting we do because they were considered experimental and, and, but we were kind of down to this last resort and his parents, you're willing to do and try anything to help your Children regain their health.

And so those things were all out of pocket and it was pretty stressful. But what we learned from those times is that we did have enough that even though we, we, it was hard to pay for the extras, the choir tours or the different things with school and the different activities, we could make it work and we could figure it out. But that came with planning and saving and doing some things differently before that storm of financial burden came and then we didn't have to, you know, really, really, really change a lot of things afterwards to be able to get out of that position we were in because we always didn't we didn't just splurge and we didn't just buy things to buy things. We loved we love cooking and having family dinner time, but I think going out to dinner is one of the biggest sucks of money.

I don't know that that didn't sound right, but you know, it drains your bank account pretty fast if you're always going out to dinner. Absolutely. You know, the doorbell has to come. Yeah, if you spend $27 a day in a year, you'll have spent $10,000 $27 a day equals $10,000 in a year. And so you get to the door dash and you you know, we we consume you know where We're impressed by 30, 40, 50,000 marketing, advertising images every day and so why not? Right. And yeah, it's I totally appreciate where you're coming from and and you know that challenge. And I think it was I was listening to a bedrock school ian not long ago and he suggested that the only way to beat mediocrity is to suffer. You know, it's through suffering through the challenges is what grows my character is what makes me excel and succeed and thrive without suffering mediocrity at best is hopeful.

And so, you know, it's that's the magic of the human condition is, you know, it's the adversity, it's the episodes, it's the events that really defines the character and as tough as it is going through? Everything does have a way of working out and and, you know, prevail. So let's talk about the suffering and let's let's talk about the individuals, families are suffering because of the position they they find themselves in with debt. I'm glad I'm glad you put it that way because they find themselves in that position versus put themselves in that position. Because I think that there are sometimes people that put themselves in those positions and we're really not talking about those people right now, we're talking about everyone who's had difficulties in their life because of a circumstance. We're talking about situational uh yeah, problems that we have because of things that might not be a uh they might be out of their control, totally under assemblies.

That I mean, like, I think a child has cancer. You know, you just don't know, you know what that's going to take. And so it's a good question, I think, and I think it's important that we recognize that all of us are in these types of situations, occasionally, at least one time in our lives. And I completely agree with you robert when you say that the suffering helps us to become helps us to grow, helps us, you know, those experiences. And so for our listeners, for our friends, that's what I want to build on. How can they go from this point of suffering and not knowing what in the world are we going to do? How are we going to do this? What could this game plan look like so that we can come out better because we're not trying to get away with not paying our bills or you know whatever the solutions that might not seem the most ethical to us, but we want to have that piece to and knowing we're progressing and becoming better, what would, what would you share with?

I think the most important probably two things most important of anything is is acknowledging that what is, is um this is the situation. It's you know, it doesn't serve me to to to you know, to put flowers around it or make excuses and say that's not really what it is or it is what it is now, but it's going to be better in a couple of days because I got, you know, it's really, really acknowledge and just say this is where I'm at. And the second most important thing after that, if not they could be interchangeable is is being okay with asking for help. I think, you know, speaking um speaking what is going on it with somebody is it allows me to actually hear it from a different way from a different angle. Um I truly believe that humans are spiritual beings trapped in a gorilla's body with monkey voices in our head torturing us and the only way to keep those monkeys quiet is to actually speak and to engage and to ask for help and it may not even be asking for help.

It may even just be verbalizing it. You know, if if talking to somebody is not in the cards or if it's too challenging, talk to a wall, speak to a wall but but speak it out, don't hold in because those voices are only there to keep me the same to keep me stuck and torture me. That's what these voices really are there for. And so until I I acknowledge what situation I'm in and really speak it, you know, I heard I I wish I remember the source but speak what you seek until you find it. And I think that's you know, I think the human, you know, we have to we're social creatures and and to deprive ourselves of that that interaction, that experience is really um it's it's a lot more tortuous. It I guess is the best word I could possibly use its um than than anything. And so I think you know, speaking to a professional or speaking to friends and saying, hey this is a situation I'm in.

Do you have any ideas and you know, as you and I were talking earlier and it, you know like I want to believe that my situation is truly the only time nobody's ever experience what I'm experiencing. However, you know, there's other people that have experienced something similar and perhaps there's a lesson I can get from that? I think the greatest lessons come from other people, other people's mistakes, Other people's challenges. You know, well making mistakes is a fun thing to, it's just part of life. But you know, being open to saying, okay, this is where I am at and allowing others to support me and to help me get through whatever this challenges. I appreciate you sharing that about, you know, the greatest lessons are from others and their, whether their mistakes or their successes. And I prefer learning off of their mistakes than my own because if I don't learn that lesson, chances are I'm going to have to experience some sort of failure or trial or whatever to learn that specific lesson that I would need to learn.

So it's, you know, I've heard the lesson continues until the lesson is learned and until the lesson is learned, the lessons will become harder and harder and harder. And so it's simply, I don't know anything and I'm only here to learn and to grow. And so that, you know, those lessons are the gift and as much as theirs frustrating and you know, the pain I experience in the process. You know, I guess I didn't learn the easy way and I'm just doing it my way robert. One of the consequences of mistakes that we sometimes make is shame and we shame ourselves and we feel like we can't progress because of the shame that we experience. Do you see that with your clients and if so what advice do you give them? Hey, absolutely. I, you know, when I'm speaking with consumers, I'm not speaking with them, I'm speaking with their, their protected self.

So, you know, it's, it's very challenging that shame that, that mask that they put on, you know, it's, it's almost like, don't, you know, it's almost like touching, um, you know, a dog gets bitten or whatever and it's almost like touching that bite. It's like the dog will do whatever it takes to keep you away from that wound. And that's really what I experience a lot of times is, is I don't get to see, I don't get to hear what the true issue is. It's the smoke screen. It's the, it's the look over here, you don't have to look here and you know, and it's okay because you know, that's, that's pain. And it's not for me to point out where they're in pain. It's for me to point out that there's options that they can, you know, again, speak to somebody. Um, that shame is the monkeys is the voices in my head saying, oh, you can't, you know, whatever that monkey might be saying in the moment. Um, I think it's so important to just go back to my spiritual self and and know that everything in the world is connected, especially people and so asking for help and being open to, you know, uh, you know, the the idea that nobody, no, I really messed up and nobody's ever experienced this?

And you know, it's okay. It's okay. It's that speaking it outside of myself is where that release comes from. What is is it's okay. I'm thinking about spiritual and finally that's just and and how you just tied them together. And I think, I think that if we could see that money can be good and money isn't always bad. So for me, I think that would take that spiritual self to be able to see it. Can you see the difference in individual's lives when they can look at money through those that spiritual lens? Absolutely. So I believe that money is simply uh, an energy conduit. It's a transfer of energy. Um you know, before the medium of money we had the bartering system and that became a little redundant. Um you know, the the cow farmer had enough eggs from the egg farmer where, you know, I don't need any more.

And so that's where money came from is really transferring energy. So in that primitive model, you know, it was simply I need eggs. So I'm gonna go and exchange what I have and get some eggs. And so, you know, again, it comes back to the society we live in where, you know, the the corporations, they're there too have money transfer from to their efforts as their exchange of energy. And so it's really shutting off the the outside voice is the marketing and really just really what do I need? What is it I truly need? You know, I do I need eggs. Do I need food? And if I'm struggling to get food then where am I letting my energy leak? And where am I moving it towards? Um which is depriving me of what I truly need as opposed to what I somebody says is the best or what's important. So so robert I come to you and I tell you things aren't too good in the Anderson household right now We're struggling.

We uh this is hypothetical by the way, uh you know, we're struggling. We we don't know where our next dollar's coming from. I don't we've got $10 coming in and $20 going out. What what kind of advice would you give me? Um I would thank you for taking the time to speak with me first and foremost and actually being being um president to actually tell me what's going on? So I'd love to be able to help you. So why don't we take a minute up to your information so that we can do to help you out? And what I would do at that point as as a collection officer is I would I would get a sense of what your budget is, what's going out. What's coming in and then I would understand your financial said, you know, I would I would ask the questions to gather all the finance, what are your debts, you know, where's your money going? And you know, what's come up, what caused this? And with that I can help map out a plan of action. Are there common denominators that you see with people that uh when I was doing collections in the United States, I was amazed at the credit cards were behind, but the car payment was up to date.

Uh it was, it was fascinating the amount that I saw consumers willing to pay for for their car. And I think, you know, it's, I am a person of, you know, form over function. So, you know, I would rather buy the 20 year old car and, and you know, work with that as opposed to getting the new shiniest every year. And so, you know, it really comes down to getting an understanding of where the money is going out and just taking a look at, okay, how can we, you know, planting the seed for ideas of how you can improve your situation. You know, I think it's really important to identify. Sometimes, sometimes professional help is necessary and you know, I may not benefit because my company is paid on a commission. A percentage of what we collect is revenue. Um You know, sometimes it just makes sense to, you know, invite them to speak with an insolvency trustee, a bankruptcy trustee, uh, speak with a credit counselor, speak with a nonprofit speak with, speak with your financial institutions that you're in good relation with and see what options are out there and really figure out what options are available as opposed to these voices in my head telling me what's going to, what's going to happen.

I think about the voices I used to have in my head when I part of, you know, what we do at home, I kind of take care of the finances and he might just trust me and you'll ask me where we're at or, you know, give us an update and budget and things like that. But I remember those voices in my head when I was trying those monkeys trying to figure out how we were gonna pay this doctor and still put food on the table or this and that, you know, just do it. Also just the advice of asking someone, we're talking it out makes all the difference in the world. I can I can see how, how voicing that really would be a benefit. And I wish I would have done that at the time at the time because I can see that that would have alleviated a lot of stress. One of the thoughts I wanted to ask you to, um robert is, do you you talked about mapping out when you, you know, when you are counseling with someone and going through their finances and do you see a difference in individuals who actually map out their finances versus those who just kind of a free for all with their finances?

Yes, It's, you know, the back in, you know, aging myself. But you know, I still have checks in my checkbook. So I must have money, you know, that that kind of mentality or you know, this day and age while I, my debit card still works. So I must have money. Um, absolutely. And you know, the question is, does that serve me, is that serving me by having that that position? Because not being in control? It's, you know, it's what is, isn't, I've got the, that, you know, as opposed to what is, is and, you know, it's being really clear on, on where you are, if we take a road trip, you know, the three most important things are where am I, where am I going and what's the root and without having those three pieces of information, how do I ever expect to have a successful car journey or journey at all? Um, so you know, and eventually, maybe I will go without one of them, but eventually I'm gonna say, okay, it's important enough now that I have these three things, you know, and I guess that's the, that's the journey.

That's the process. So absolutely, mapping out, you know, writing down what my expenses are, you know, going through the bank statements and even categorizing, you know, okay, on food, on, you know, on, on gas, on, you know, and actually looking at where's my money going. And there's credit counselors, there's nonprofits that will, that will help people walk through this. You don't have to be an expert. You just have to know to ask an expert. I, I have a real pet peeve in life. And that is, is that we don't in our public school system, teach more about, uh, about financial education. We, we, we don't talk about financial literacy like we should. And, you know, as a financial expert myself professionally, we, we often kind of joke about the fact that people spend more time mapping out their vacation than they do their finances every year. And so I, I just, I have a question and I think that maybe some of the listeners might be wondering now as I think about some of the myths, some of the realities of your line of work and what you do and how you do it.

I think a lot of people are afraid because they think that they're going to be publicly flogged if it's, if it's determined that they own money, that there's going to be all kinds of issues that they don't want to have to deal with. How does a person go about finding a literacy type of a counselor, uh, someone that can help them to find to understand financial literacy better maybe than what they do right now. You know, uh, there's nonprofit credit counseling companies. Um, and, and these nonprofit credit counseling companies, they ask for donations from the creditors. And that's where a majority of their, of their operating expenses come from. Uh, you know, if there was, if there was an impartial voice in this industry, um, you know, and I'm not saying there's a bias everywhere, everybody's got a bias. So I'm saying the most impartial, not necessarily completely impartial would be a non profit credit counselor, you know, and we have this wonderful information age, you know, check the ratings and, you know, or on, you know, on social media, put it out, you know, it's almost anonymous, put it out there, has anybody spoken with, you know, I'm asking for a friend, is anybody ever dealt with some of this?

And, you know, I think it's it's simply just asking, I think the most important thing and the biggest challenge, you know, I've experienced as, as a person is asking for help is that shame is that, you know what, I I got into it myself, I'm gonna get out of it myself. Nobody needs to worry about this. And I don't want anybody to think that I'm a, I'm not as great as a person as I've presented on facebook or on on social media. And I think, you know, if I could do it differently there's a lot of, a lot of episodes in my life that if I had only asked for help, I would have, I would have gotten through that circumstance a lot quicker. That's a gold star answer right there. It really is. You know, we learned from our experience, but sometimes we learned the hard way. When it could have been much easier, we could have alleviated so much more stress and anxiety if we have just gone to a source. It's interesting why we are so afraid to ask for help. I it's something that is, it's a universal problem.

And even though when we finally get to the point where we ask for help, this burden is just lifted because we're not alone in the monkey mind area of things and it makes more sense, but then we know where, you know, we've got someone else who can help us, but why do you think it's so hard to ask for help uh as far as I can? Um So humans now, we've we haven't uh accelerated, we haven't progressed as fast as the human, you know, as we have as humans in the last 100 years. You know, we we've we've gone from, you know, horse and buggy to today. And so if you know, the brain doesn't evolve that quick. And so if you go back 10,000 years, you know, the two biggest fears that that humans had was being rejected by the tribe because that was certain death or not finding my next carrot, not finding my next meal and that's that's the that's the operating system that that we are experiencing.

So we have this, this, this world of everything is at my fingertips. Yet I've got this, you know, super, it's like having a Ferrari and you know, being powered by a 1950 something IBM computer. It's just, you know, it doesn't It doesn't mix, it can't connect. And so I think, you know, that that the monkeys in our brain are 10,000 years old and all it worried about was just being safe, just be safe. Don't if you move one step to the right, you're not as safe as you are now. So just stay still. That's what those voices are there to do. And it's simply outdated software, you know, and and I think that's where they're not asking for help. It's that fear of being rejected by my tribe. If I bring this problem to the tribe, well, maybe they're going to be worried about their tribe and and then The monkeys go and and that's, you know, that that's my best guess. I can tell you 100%. Um but if I were to tell you what I think it is, that's what it is. I like the analogy of the outdated software talk about that as it pertains to the limbic brain.

Well, the limbic brain is simply survival. Um it's there too, you know, breathe drink while, you know, get fluids just survive. That, that's really what that prehistoric brain was designed to do and, you know, I think what, what's maybe not talked about because it's there's a whole person around it is the only reason that humans are here today is because our ancestors took priority in perpetuating the species. Mhm. This is why we're here. And so I think we live in like this. I I'm I don't wish to be in any other time. I think this is just it's magical. What what's culminated. I think the brain is like, we're missing the point of, you know, it's it's family, it's, you know, what we, those principles that we have, that's the most important. I think that's what the limbic brain is around is is about the tribe and the carrot. That's the two most important things is is being safe and keeping my tribe safe and making sure I'm going to find another meal where water.

And so that's, you know, in a nutshell, you know, that's that's what the limbic brain is. It's just completely basic survival. That's it. You know, like if you look at a computer, you know, you know, I remember, you know, doing data processing and typing and programming and then the computer would shut off and all my work was gone and it spent hours doing this and, and, you know, and so it was an outdated system. It was an older system doing an advanced function and it it had faults and I think that's really where we're at with, with our, you know, with the process of evolution. We just haven't caught up yet, that's that's the root of it, isn't it? It's not the fact that we've got an issue with our money. The root is how we get out about out of that issue. So, so the question I would have for you there, you know, I I know that you'd like to talk about personal accountability. And uh and that's laughing because she knows what I'm going to say. When our kids were growing up, we we used to have this term that we used to talk about all the time.

What was it at? Pr what does that stand for? Personal responsibility? So when you're talking about people and their resources, what does personal accountability mean to you, robert? The best definition I have for personal accountability is I attract to me that which occurs mm hmm. And it simply is, it's not right or wrong. It's not falter blame it. Simply suggesting that somewhere in my journey I took a fork in the road and I got to where I am. And that's okay because I know where I am. And I think you know, to be accountable is to it's not even about responsibility per se. It's simply just saying I attracted to me I am here now. What? And once I can take that position. It's not, you know, it's the opposite of victim. It's simply what is. And so once I can once I can truly clearly just showed that this is where I am now I'm opening up opening up options that that shame is okay.

It happened now what I got myself here. What am I going to do now? And you know that's accountability to me is simply I attract me that which occurs. So what when when we have that mindset, I attract to me that which occurs I for me when you first said that I thought well that kind of takes that shame out the window potentially, potentially it does. On one hand it could take it out the window. On the other hand, it could be well then what's wrong with me that I attract this, which then I believe it comes down to learning here we are and understanding that we have these connections. You know you mentioned that connection part and and I think that is so key in life and when we have that connection I think our priorities shift a little bit. Absolutely. And you bring up connection. There's something in neural linguistic programming.

What was shared with me is synapses that fire together wire together. And so if you look at a brain you can see these canals all through it and those canals just like water forming threw rocks. Um stimulus response, stimulus response, stimulus response. And so synapses that fire together wire together. So if I keep making the same choice on the same stimulus, the same reaction. I'm going to create a very automated process of, okay, this happened. This is what I do. And you know, as in the shame, you know, okay, I blew my budget this week. That's awesome. I don't know where I'm going to get food from. And that's, that's, that's a synopsis wiring and firing together. And the most important thing from that angle is actually doing a pattern interrupt or putting a damn in that canal and that, that damn can simply just be alright, I messed up again and that's freaking awesome.

You know, just to actually flip it over on its head just to consciously say, wow, I really offended that person. That's freaking awesome. As opposed to the shame of, oh, why did I do that? Oh my God, get it again. Now, you know, it's just giving myself a chance to fire differently that one time, that one break because that might be the one that just shifts everything and opens everything up. So it's living in the present moment and reviewing how we respond and having fun. You know, I think the secondary purpose of everything in life is to have fun. Speaking of having fun. We, we've got to go back That right to when you were 12 years old. Okay, you're selling candy bars and I'm still impressed with that story you told about candy bars there, I'm a sales person by nature and I have been for all of my career When I was 12, I was selling worms to fishermen that were going by my house at $0.35 a dozen. But I'm curious as to what your approach was and how you were able to be successful at the age of 12 selling candy bars, overpriced candy bars.

My mind, honestly, how were you able to do that? Um, I made every experience different. So I figured out a pitch that worked and so I went to the first person, I would go and give them that pitch. The second person, I consciously went out of my way to just twist it around a little bit, so it sounded differently, but it was the same message and the third person they would know know the third person, I would twist it around a little bit and just make it sound a little bit different and a lot of times, all three would turn around and go, whoa, okay, you know, I'll take one and I'm like, okay, well now that you're taking one, I'll give you two for five, you can save a dollar and rick okay, like who are, you know, is so it was, it was really just being conscious of making sure that everybody had a different experience because, you know, a lot of times in the market, it's like, oh yeah, I'm just a number. Yeah, no, I'm not interested, I don't want to buy it, but, but as a consumer, when I experience that, you know, you're actually speaking with me like you're, you know, you're, you're putting your energy towards me genuinely, it just changes everything.

You know, I think it's it's again being present and I didn't, I can't say I knew that when I was 12, I was just trying and things, you know, it works. So I kept repeating it. Um, but I think the lesson is, is simply, you know, just just everybody is special. Everybody is unique and it's be that way, just just treat them that way because, you know, everybody wants just to be acknowledged as an individual, you know, just to be heard. And so that's the key, that's the key to everything in life, whether it's money or it's relationships is acknowledging that individual is valued and they are unique and they have worth. And I'm sure that you, you we're very respectful As a 12 year old and how you related to these people to it didn't matter the age that was who you were.

And I'm sure that has continued on in your career and, you know, collecting, I'm sure you have more success because of how you respect and treat those individuals who, who are in trouble. Yes, the the individual and, and don't be a drone. Nobody needs a drone. You know, it's that it's that okay, But what if, you know, it's, it's my, I'm on autopilot and, you know, when I'm acting that way and I think just just really be present. You know, I think especially this day and age, I think the most important gift that I could give to anybody is just to truly listen. Just just to let them speak, because again, it's not about me listening, it's about them feeling safe or open enough to actually speak what they seek. And you know, they can say, okay, well I didn't really think of it that way, you know, or speaking to the wall for example, great exercises, once I speak it now, I can say, well that's not really what I want, I can make adjustments, but if I never speak it, if I never put it out to the universe, it's just the monkeys defeating these brilliant ideas are these great ideas that are going on.

So I've got a, I've got a great book title for you when you write your book lessons I learned from selling candy bars, you know, there are so many life analogies that you just shared with by asking you a fun question about what it was like selling candy bars 12 years old and you're absolutely right. And you know what you just taught was is that every experience that we have in life gives us a chance to be able to interact. Everything gives us a chance to interact and how we interact is in large part a product of our success, whatever that success looks like and whatever what that success means. But I'll bet robert in your life that there have been people that have helped you to understand what success is and it's not all about money, you know on trail angels, we, we talk about those that are in our lives that are truly trail angels. Have there been trail angels in your life that have helped you become who you are today? Um I'm so blessed.

There's, there's so many more than I can even recall. Um you know, I think every individual that I need has a has a lesson for me has an important message for me and am I being open in that moment to receive it. Um and so you know, to be specific to not avoid this question with ambiguity. Um you know my my first, my first boss um who was, you know he created this program of selling chocolate bars for for young teens. Um you know uh huh Brent roberts, he's, he's now retired realtor in british Columbia. My first boss when I was selling cell phones when I turned 18. Um you know, he, he had the faith in me and trusted me to actually um advance the money for me to have my first car. Um and so john foreign um there's I've been so blessed through my life to just you know have so many different people that influenced me and and you know most importantly I think something that you mentioned earlier that reminded me of my parents, you know my parents taught me manners.

My parents didn't just sit aside and say, well, you know, I don't want to offend him, I better give him a trophy because he showed up. They really impressed that you know, you be respectful, mind your manners show up on time. You know, the simple things of keeping my word and demonstrating to the universe that I'm capable of keeping my word because that's, you know, that that self confidence is really what, where it's all about because if I don't have confidence in myself then why would anybody have confidence in me? Yeah, no kidding, no kidding. I, I really love that because it's all about confidence and it seems like every guest that we talked to that shares their story about trail angels and always, uh, it always comes back to confidence, doesn't it? And the confidence that they were able to instill upon upon our guests. So so robert I want to speak for now though, I think you know, you, you as you as um hosts are are simply amazing.

The questions you ask and you know, the genuine concern and the care that I've seen in your other pod, you know, in your other shows that I watched. Um, you know, I, I don't, I don't want to discount but you two are absolute angels and thank you for creating this platform and you know, we're being willing to be vulnerable and to demonstrate what you've been through because I, I think it's a massive help and I think you deserve all the riches and all the abundance that that's coming to you because that's what you deserve. Well thank you so much. You know, one of the things I've been thinking since you mentioned these pathways, these canals in our, in our brain that you know, we, we have these freeways, you know the rap, whatever we want to call those in our brain, we can change them, we can create new roads, new canals as we, you know, we look at the different, the simple lessons, we become aware of how he not only acts but react and and that as we have the courage and we seek to ask for help and learn we can change that behavior so that we can have the success in life that we want to have.

However, that might look, yeah, it's being open to make adjustments, nothing's fixed in stone, you know, and if it didn't work, try something different, you know, it's if you never tried something, how do you know what the result was going to be and which is fun. You know, when you talk about everything in life being fun. Absolutely. It's just fun to try and to see what that result is going to be when we live with this idea of uh doing podcasts I knew and that and it knows that I'm not a very vulnerable person and uh the last the last couple of years as we've been doing this? Uh you know, I will tell you that vulnerability. And I'm saying this for a reason because it ties into what we've been talking about. The vulnerability is liberating. And I think that our message today is that the vulnerabilities that we have in life that we keep inside add to the stress, add to the anxiety and to the problem's tenfold if we don't become a little bit vulnerable and share those.

And so thank you robert. Because I think that one of the things that I've really gained today is the importance of seeking what you seek. Their speaking what you speak seek. We said, yes, it's hard to say that two times in a row um speaking what you seek until you find it. And I think we do need to speak what we seek. So we always give our guests the last word. And uh I have to tell you that I have absolutely, we have absolutely thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. And when I looked at the clock and realized that we'd spent a good part of an hour talking about something that is very near and dear to our hearts. Uh it made me realize that there are a lot of other listeners out there that seek that same type of relief. So what advice, what counsel would you leave us? Uh this is the book of Revelations for robert here. It's the last book of the new testament to the Book of moon caster. What would the last book of moon casters say? It's a poem. Can I share it with you?

Please do? Thank you. Uh Is this life? But what does it mean? Are we just pebbles in a world? That's a stream? The questions keep coming. The answers. They blossom one at a time. The questions are quicker. They formed a long line. Is this my purpose to live in a rut to go around in circles like a tail chasing mud? This thought is not me. I know it's not true. I have seen this path before. So I'm here today to fertilize my questions to enlighten me more. I love living life. That's what I do best. But do I have a choice? Of course I do. It's one of those things I could choose to let go. So this is what I've come to. I've had it all wrong. The world is the pebble. I am the stream. It all makes sense. If you follow me. We have one thing in life and that his choice so reach for the moon. Because one day you'll see even if you don't make it, you'll still land amongst the stars. Oh, beautiful. You know, there's no words to complete that. That is perfect. So we've got the name of your book and we've got the last chapter of your book right there, robert wheat sincerely sincerely appreciate you.

We appreciate you as a human being. You know we and then I talk after our conversations and we we often talk about the integrity of the people that we that we bring on. You know, we don't bring just anybody on and we we vet our our guests to a point where we know that there will be a real contributing force to our listeners and so we have truly truly felt that today and so thank you for that. We appreciate listeners, you being with us today as well and we hope that you have enjoyed and we would encourage you to re listen to this podcast as well A couple of times as we've talked with robert Moon Castor about, you know, I was gonna say about credit, but it's not been about credit, it's been about life, it's been about finding that equilibrium in life that we all need and that we all that will help us to get to that level of uh equilibrium that we really seek.

That sometimes seems so elusive. So we appreciate you being with us today, robert. Each of us have a story to share. Author Burn A brown reminds us that owning our story is the bravest thing that will ever do the stories the experience that our guests share inspire us as well as help us to grow and connect with others. We invite you to become part of the care in the load community, through social media through our website, through through uh, everything that we do through trail Angels are podcasts. We are stronger together, keep caring.

It's Time To Start Taking Personal Responsibility For Yourself
It's Time To Start Taking Personal Responsibility For Yourself
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