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Give To Be Great

by Mark & Annette Anderson
November 23rd 2021

In this episode of Trail Angels powered by Cairn the Load, E. A. Csolkovits, founder of Givers University shares powerful tips to live a successful life.  E. A. was born in 1956 in Chicago, Illinoi... More

Welcome to everyone. It's marketing it with Trail and the angels powered by carrying the load. And we're so excited to have you with us today. We have with us a uh someone that and that and I have been reviewing his background and his experience and we thought that he'd be an excellent, excellent guest to talk about. Well, we're going to hold what we're gonna be talking about just for a second. But let me introduce each of you to E. A sulk of its E A. Is is a is an entrepreneur, he's a business consultant. He's a writer and founder of Givers University. We're gonna be talking about his humble beginnings And the fact that he was the son of a milk man born in 1956 in Detroit michigan go Detroit michigan. I love Detroit. uh he's at the age of 16, he started his own business that he was able to to to start selling janitorial supplies and I'm not going to go in and talk about all about here, but he has authored and compiled books and and with Givers University uh he's he's used that idea with his books, Giver's mindset.

Givers lifestyle givers lifelong learning and give to be great. He's the founder and patriarch of Givers University that teaches others worldwide about givers and takers and I'm really excited to be talking about the difference between givers and takers but e I know I left a lot out of your, your biography but welcome. We're so glad to have you with us today. Well, thank you so much for having me on your great show. And uh, you know, as I was listening to you say all those things, I was thinking, well, my bio is still not as long as my last name, so I gotta get working. I need to get out. I need to get on with Well, you know, Yeah, when we were talking about last names, um, my maiden name before it was spliced in half by my grandfather, it was Apostle Oculus. So, you know, you, I understand, you know, and those states, Gotcha, Gotcha, for sure, but we're glad to have you with us.

And, you know, one of the things that really uh gave us some some thought about having you on was this whole idea between behind givers and Takers. But before we get into that, you know, you've got a great, a great uh bio. If I were to read this all the way through, would probably take us a half hour just to do that. But the way you tell us a little about yourself, some of the things that you're doing with the givers University and and how that came about. Be happy to do that. And uh, if I can step back in time in order to do that to set the stage and really what transpired decades ago that caused Givers University to come about. If I may share that with your listeners. Um you know, I was born in Chicago lived in an area called Oak brook, which is a suburb of Chicago, Chicago is a lot of suburbs. And uh, and my father was a milkman and back then, you know, I'm 65 years old now. So back then, you know, when I was five years old, my father had his own route. You know, one man operation worked for a dairy called twin oaks dairy and milk came in glass gallon jugs.

Uh, you know, there was always a box outside the house and you know, what was amazing about that is that there was a box outside the house and that was the milkman box and there was always money in it and, you know, no one ever touched it, not one single time did anyone ever touch the milkman money and a little different times. Right. And I mean really astonishing that, you know, and so my father delivered milk, you know, pretty humble upbringing, you know, and there was this little note in the box and cheese, eggs or, you know, uh, juice or milk and it's pretty much what we did. And at five years old, I remember, and I, and I think that was the first, I guess sort of touch with Um being a self starter because I would watch my father, you know, he didn't punch a time clock and he got up at three in the morning to deliver milk because they had to go to the dairy and back then, you know, they only the big 18 wheelers were refrigerated, the smaller trucks, like my father had for delivery, they had to go and you know, he cut their own ice and put it in the truck, you know, and that was how the milk stayed cold. So you know, that's, they started today at three in the morning, so we'd get up at three in the morning and not going the route with them, the ripe old age of five years old.

And I remember him saying over and over, he said about every single time I worked with him, which was many times he said, well, you know what, as soon as we're done, we're done. And, and I remember him saying that and that sort of taught me that, you know, we can get on with it and it's okay. We don't need to have someone watching over our shoulder and he didn't have a boss watching over his shoulder and he had his own route. Right. And uh, and then at the ripe old age of 16 years old, I took my first step into wanting to become more prosperous in my life. And I became a janitor. Now I didn't mind being a janitor because business was always picking up What anyway, so yeah, uh, yeah, exactly, thank you. And uh, I have to pay extra for the drum, you know, Okay. So yeah, so at 16 years old, I was able to be bonded, which basically means insured and that meant that, you know, if my, I was in an expensive place and my buffer went a little crazy and hit some piece of equipment insurance company would pay for it. That also allowed me to be in very expensive places which include very expensive homes.

So every Wednesday at 16 years old, I was in a home for a lady and her name was june Martino. And for many of our listeners, they may not know the name until I make a movie reference and uh june was quite an amazing lady. And uh, if any of you seen the movie and it's called the founders with Michael Keaton, he plays Ray Crock. And, and, and by the way, That's really not the way it happened. I mean I lived the experience. I was in Chicago. I'm 65. The whole McDonald's phenomenon happened during my lifetime. I drove by the first McDonald's franchise and, and on the indus plains hundreds of times literally because the reason why I also, my dad's milk ralph, you know, we drove by it on the way home every single day. And I remember said, you know, one million burgers and now they don't even put the numbers anymore. But I remember thinking about a million hamburgers. That's like a lot of burgers, right? And uh, so june Martino when I was 16 years old was already an icon in the movie, the founder, the name of the movie is the founder, Michael Keaton plays Ray Crock and Ray also wasn't that way, totally Hollywood spin.

Um, you know, the drama on the way Hollywood tries to make something more interesting, but there were a lot of events that did happen that were acknowledged in the movie and outside Ray's office. Ray Crock, Michael Keaton playing him. There's a lady he's always talking to over and over again. That lady's name is the lady, her name is june Martino and that's the lady whose house I cleaned every single Wednesday. The lady and satisfies office. So one day I was 16 years old and this was amazing to me. And that was, you know, up into this point in my life for some reason, I don't know why it was in my head, but I always thought to be prosperous and successful. Um, you had to be a jerk, you had to push down people, you had to be me only oriented me first oriented, you had to be the first one to be able to say it's just business. I hate that thing by the way. You know, and uh, and uh, you know, whenever they say that I walk right on the spot, I said, you know, as soon as I hear those words, I walk because you know, it's not just business, it's me, I'm a human being, you know, it's not that you just told me you're going to take advantage of me.

So I'm not going to stick around while you do it, you know. So uh but I always thought that that was the way it was. And here I meet this lady you and I mean I'm astonished by her, I'm in a million dollar house back then by the way, when I was 16 years old and she has a full time maid and butler. She is so approachable, so nice, so kind, never condescending. She's got a full time maid and butler and and to show you like if I was looking, I was there to buff the floors with a special buffing pad to clean the swimming pool in the garage, love clean the garage by the way, because I in order to clean the garage, I had to pull the Rolls Royce out. So I got this, I got to sit in the car that was worth 10 lifetimes of my income. And then at the end of the day I went home and drove my car, which was a Rolls can hardly, that rolls down one hill, can hardly make it up the next. So so I would go home and drive my rolls can hardly, but during the day I got to sit in this Rolls Royce, right. And so I'm thinking people really live like this and I'm watching her observing her and she's uh you know, I was just fascinated by her because she was never kind of sending very approachable, very kind and and even if she walked through the room and I was looking down because I was buffing the floor and she saw me before, I saw her, she would say hi.

You know I mean, I mean she was just that way and that was astonishing to me that and I'm thinking she's not like an alien, she's not the only superpower or something. What's the deal here? You know how she gets so rich, I can barely count on my fingers and toes, how many zeros, Right? Because at that time she already was an icon and everyone in the area, because I lived in notebook area, everyone knew who june Martino was. Right. So one day she was in an extra good mood, I mustered up all the strength and courage that a snap no, 16 year old can. And I went up to her because I'm going to ask june Martino a question, I'm not kidding. I was shaking in my janitorial boots. And I went and I went, you know, then there's steel toe boots, you know, the whole thing. And so, and and because because she dropped a buffer on it, you gotta be careful your toes. So I went up to her and I said hi june and she again, always. So astonishing how approachable she was, she said hi, you know, I just started smiling and and I'd say, can I ask you a question? She said, sure, I said, could you tell me about it?

And she said what? I said, well, the whole Mcdonald's thing. I had asked her in the morning and I'm not kidding. She put her arm around me, brought me in the kitchen and the entire day we sat in the kitchen, she told me the story. And in the movie, did you catch the movie by chance? Did you see the fine? Okay, alright. If you, you know, if you if you notice in the beginning of the movie, Ray is a milkshake mixer salesman, right? She starts the story there where she's working for Ray before he even met the brothers before I even met the guy. That's where she starts telling me the story. She was working for him already, right selling milkshake mixers, right? And uh, and that part was all true. So she tells me the whole story all the way through, step by step all day long up to the moment we're sitting in her kitchen, She even has the maid and butler bringing us food so she can keep telling me the story while we're in the kitchen. And I keep thinking, you know, I'm like the 16, she's talking to, you know, I mean, this is astonishing. This is this is june Martino, what she, you know, the investment of time was astonishing to me and she just laid it all out and there was one time and by the way it's referenced in the movie and she had obviously told me this decades before the movie came out?

And and the event was true, not the way it's portrayed in the movie, but there was a time where june because she kept the books, she went to Ray Michael Keaton and said, we don't have any money. We're not making any money. Money's going out fast. It's coming in. There are zero money left. She referenced that told me that story and she agreed and she said, I agreed to keep working for Ray with no pay. She's ahead because there was no pay. Anyway, there was no money there. And she said he agreed to give me worthless company stock worth less than zero. And he would take some of the phone calls from the bill collectors so they wouldn't have me on the phone. So I asked her, I just said, you know june, I'm a janitor. I mean, you know, I work paycheck to paycheck. If I don't get paid on friday, I'm not showing on saturday. I need the paycheck. I gotta have that paycheck. Why did you do it? And she sat back and did this. I lock on me And left the room while she's staring at me. I can tell she's no longer in the room. She's just staring right at me and she did this for about 10 seconds and I was starting to feel uncomfortable.

I'm thinking, do you know? Because she's staring at me And I mean, just and I could tell she is truly thinking, why did she do this? And I, I realized no one had ever asked. I just asked a question. No one, I guess ever did. Everyone wanted to know what happened with Mcdonald's, but no one ever asked why. So when I asked her why it took her back and she really genuinely wanted to answer that question properly. When she spoke, I remember the way she said it so much. So it made the hair stand up on the back of my neck with what she said, the way she said it. And I remember my first instantaneous thought after she said what she said. So when I asked her june why did you do it? Why did you keep working for no pay? I wouldn't do that. Why do she replied and said because I believed in Ray. And I remember my first thought, that's it, that's the answer. I need to find me a Ray crock because it certainly didn't work out too bad for her.

She's doing pretty good. And you know, I'm cleaning this million dollar home, a million dollar home back then, right in this place called ginger Creek, which is a suburb of the Chicago land area. It was actually joining a part of Oakbrook really, But it's called ginger Creek Beautiful. You know these beautiful homes in there. And she even bought three homes for her son's in there. I mean, And I cleaned those houses too. So I'm thinking, wow, this is incredible, that's it. I need to find a ray crock now, this is very important. I did something impetuously ignorantly As a 16 year old many times would and I inadvertently not on purpose did one right thing. I asked the right question and the question I asked was yeah, where's my ray crack? Where would I find my ray crock? That was it. I had no idea at that point, I didn't know what a mentor was, I didn't even know how to spell it. I had already spent my hooked on phonics money so I didn't know what mentor was.

You know, by the way that's a reference only for certain people in your audience that would know the commercial for the hooked on phonics and I like to throw those references to see you was really listening. But the uh so so I'm thinking of myself, where do I find my right crack? Now, pause, one of the things my business mentor taught me, which is critical in life is that our lives really do whether we know it or not become self fulfilling prophecies. And he taught me and drilled in my mind over and over again, People live backwards because they always want the answer wrong, don't look for the answer, there is no answer and there's always an answer he said and I remember him drilling this into me over and over again. They said the answers are omnipresent, They're all around you, there? Always there. They always will be there. He said. People always trying to find the answer and that's the wrong thing. They're looking for the wrong thing.

He said, What they should be looking for is the right questions. And when we focus on asking the right question, just like the person says, how come everything always happens wrong to me, guess what? They always get that answer by having things always happen wrong. And by the way, you know, I had to actually reefer label that in my mind right then at that instant, because I know that that's not true in my life and that's because he taught me that, you know, be careful of the questions you ask because you will always find those answers and our lives become self fulfilling prophecies resulting from the manifested questions that we have asked ourselves. That's our beauty, the gift from God of our freedom of choice. We have the choice to choose our own thoughts. And people sometimes just hand that to other people and say, here you think for me or here you you ask the questions for me. I'm just gonna repeat those when in fact we should discern and think of the questions properly that we truly want to get the answers for and to ask them.

So I inadvertently asked where's my ray Crock? I didn't say, I'm never going to find a red cross because guess what? I probably would have never found them. I never And I said, where is he? You know, I mean, I just, I just sort of thought, well, there's a ray crock. He's out there somewhere. I just gotta find out where he is. And sure enough, it wasn't three or four months later, I got a phone call, the janitorial service, same one saying where I was still working and I was, and I was talking with the boss late at night saying was jerry and uh, it was in Addison Illinois, another Chicago's got a lot of lot of suburbs. And so the janitorial service was in Addison. And uh, so it was after hours after dinner time actually, I already punched out and there was a time clock. So when I punched out, you know, felt like punching out because you hate being a janitor. Right? You know, my fun time is getting free songs on a jukebox at two in the morning and I'm cleaning bowling alleys, you know I mean? So, you know, there's not a whole lot of fun and being a janitor, right? So, uh, so the phone ranks and jerry picks up the phone companies later hangs up the phone and uh, he goes, well, that's some guy just called from Detroit.

He's opening a diamond store here in Berkeley Illinois, a suburb of Chicago and they're doing a rebuild inside. They need some new carpeting for this diamond store and he needs to see some carpeting because he's leaving on a plane tomorrow back to Detroit. They said, okay, what's that gotta do with me? Here's what I need you to go. I said no, I'm not going now. We're going to count how many times I say no. So I said no, I'm not going jerry. I'm tired of the owner's name. I said, you know, I've been cleaning all day. I'm physically exhausted and there's nothing, there's no steam left. He goes, no, I need you to go, I need you to get out this car for job. I said jerry, I'm not going No No. two I said, I don't know anything about carpeting. I said, I can vacuum it, I can shampoo it. I said, but I've never been out of copper top. I don't know how to do that. And he gave me one of these wheels. He said, will you walk this way and this way on the room and call me on the phone. I'll bet a jerry I'm not going, I'm not going to go. I'm sorry. I've already punched out. That's it. I'm done here. I'll tell you what I've said. No. Three times noticed. He said, tell you what if you go, I'll give you your pick of any saturday.

You went off now for a janitor. That's a huge negotiation chip because 13 year old janitor for sure for sure. Right. You know, that's driving a rolls can hardly, you know. And uh, so, so here. So I'm thinking, okay, I want to make sure I didn't get my ears trick right there. So I'm gonna repeat it back. So I said, any saturday? I went off. He said, yeah, any saturday. Because we clean the businesses are closed, saturday morning. Tonight we're cleaning all day. Right? So this is a saturday off. This is just crazy. How could this happen to me? This is great. So I was okay jerry. So I loaded up and throwing samples in the back of my roles can hardly and I'm heading over. Set the stage for your listeners. I don't want to go. I've said No three times. I'm physically exhausted, mentally fatigued. I don't care about. I've never been to Detroit. I mean I don't, this guy from Detroit who cares about that stuff and I'm not doing, I'm not doing it as a favor for my, but I'm doing this for one reason and one reason only. Guess what that is saturday off.

That's it saturday. That's the only reason Little do I know I'm getting ready to meet the man that will change the trajectory of my life forever. The man who will become the father I never had. Even though I have a father, I will become the son. He never had. Even though he had a son and he will be the man that will be my mentor, my ray crock that I asked for and I'm saying no, no, no. So I'm sharing with your listeners. Be observant, be aware of those moments in time, that scene at that moment so insignificant. On the thin edge of a dying that are so small, they're about ready to make the hugest, most impactful change in your life and for the better. So here I am and I meet this guy and I can share if you have you ever had the opportunity where you've met someone and you feel so comfortable that you feel like you've almost known him before.

Have you ever had that thing where you just you know, we we have have yes. I mean just you just you're still coming. You feel like man, I could talk to him about anything. And so I did it for about two hours and I can't remember. The phone call came to the janitorial service after dinner time. So this is the middle of night already. And I'm talking this guy for a couple hours in this building that's going to be rebuilt out inside for this diamond store. So you know the carpet was a no go because he wanted something real plus for diamond store. And we just had commercial office grade. Right? So put the carpet samples back in my rolls can hardly and I've started leaving. He offers me a job. I say no again. I said no, I don't know anything about diamonds. And he said, well, I'll teach you. I said no. The only thing I know about diamonds. I know two things number one they're really expensive and number two someday woman's gonna ask me for one. That's all I know about diamonds. He says no I'll teach you come with me. I said no no no I'm all set. People will always make a mess, I can always clean it up, I have job security and I said no now six times and I left and as I was leaving, little did I know I was actually talking to a true genius, not the I.

Q. Bologna kind of genius because I think that's baloney. Um because I've met a lot of educated idiots in my life. I mean I mean you know they have no wisdom and no application skills whatsoever. Just educated idiots and I say that lovingly but in my opinion that's what they are, you know, but I mean really genuine IQ genius, The kind of human engineering kind of person that can talk with someone for 10 minutes and get everything about them and know their story that where their mind is wired and everything in 10 minutes or less, right? It was it was uncanny. I watched him do it years later man, he was on you know, he just was so insightful and I didn't know that he was about ready to really get me. So as I was walking out the door, he said something that he knew would grind me as I was walking out he said, and I remember, I remember the tone he is, he said, what do you have to lose? You could always go back being a janitor and I said, no, no, no.

And I walked out right, so I'm driving home and it's getting to me, it's grind to me, you know what, what do you mean by that show? And of course like I always go back being a janitor and he's right about that. I don't think about diamonds over me and he's grinding its grind and halfway home. And by the way, it's almost midnight now. I turned and said, you know what I mean? That was actually miffed at, you know what I'm gonna find out exactly what he meant by that. He knew that that would do that to me. So I turned around and I think he's probably gone, he's got to go on the airplane. No, he's still there. And I said, okay, what do you have in mind for the next four months. I got in the car at four in the morning Chicago, four in the morning, friday, saturday morning, you know, friday night, saturday morning, four in the morning, got in the car, drove 300 miles, remember the exact miles 2, 2 from Chicago to Detroit, met with him for six hours and drove all the way home the same day, did all of that four months in a row in the heart of winter and driving through the middle of michigan by the way and going through ann arbor and you go through benton harbor in the wintertime and all of a sudden you see these snowdrifts, you know twice the size of your car.

Yeah, that was the middle of winter every single weekend for four months in a row. I never missed a weekend because all the way up for six hours driving, I would think about all the questions I was going to ask him. It had to be exhausting because I was, I had to be like a jackhammer on a street corner doing street repair just with my questions the whole time I was talking to him because I wanted to know these answers and then driving home I would contemplate the answers why because I was what you call intelligently ignorant, that means I wasn't too smart for my own good and I didn't have any problem with saying you know what I don't know, will you please teach me? And I knew he knew it, I knew he was, I knew he was a multi millionaire and I knew that already and I knew he was rich and successful, not even real and and and I wanted to be rich and happy not realizing by the way I even had that backwards because we should be happy and then rich But 16 years old, I'm all about the money, right? Yeah, I'm gonna get rid of my roles can hardly and uh so so I started working for him.

And then at 19 years old I asked him a question. I said, Sam, will you teach me everything? I don't want you to hold back everything. Teach it all to me please. And he said, okay, I'll teach you. He said, but I want one thing from you. I want you to know no matter what he said next. I'm totally in yes mode. I'm going to say yes. So he said, This is what I want. one I want from you when the time is right and you will know that time. I want you to teach as many other people as you can everything that I teach you. So at 19 years old I made a vow, I made an oath. I made a commitment that today as manifest as what we know as givers university and I still believe even today as my care and the load marker, my trail angel. Not only was it june Martino who enlightened me and opened my eyes that you didn't have to be superhuman to be prosperous than that you could be truly happy and successful.

But then the person who showed me how to do it step by step and proved to me so many times he was out for me more than I was out for me because of the mistakes I was about ready to make that he knew and he always told me, he says, you know it's not because I'm so smart, He says I've made more mistakes than most 10 people put together. And you see, and I think that's a part of you know, as we supplant education for wisdom and and wisdom begins to unveil itself in our lives and and we begin to learn some things like some of the things he drilled in me that I can share with your listeners that I think are really important nuggets of information. One of the things sam taught with me, sam Robbins was his name. He said, remember the following every adversity, not some, not a few, not once in a while, every adversity carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefits.

He said, it's going to be up to you to move aside those leaves and find those seeds. And when you do you will realize that that's exactly what you needed to get to the next step. That's exactly what you need to. Without that adversity, you would not have the seed and without those seeds you wouldn't go up the next step. And the next thing I'm going to share with both of you will bake the noodle of some of your listeners. When I say this because when I say this, they're going to say this guy e. A. Is off his rocker. He is uh he has felon, he has fallen off those rocks that I'm looking at on the screen, he is off those rocks, right? And they have hit him in the head, right? So they and here's what he taught me here. It comes. Yeah. When we really, really begin to understand truthfully in our heart of hearts, what adversity means in our life, we will begin to welcome and embrace it because we will begin to learn that those are the things we need.

It's up to us to move aside the leaves, that's our part. We have to do that. But when we do, we will see those seeds and they'll be there and we'll say that's it, that's the reason I'm here. That's what I was meant to learn. This is what I meant to do in my life and for those who have no hope, they will perish. And that's hope is very important for us. And when we realize that those seeds are there in those adversity, we can now look at adversity and that's something that we can fear. But now we realize in that adversity, when I move that seat outside my hope, is there my future, is there the seeds I need for the next step, the next step up. So that later on, as I begin to welcome these adversities and I embrace them in my life now, I'm not gonna walk up those stairs, I can now start running up them because I'm not coming from a position of failure in a position of fear anymore in my life.

I know that I'm getting the things I need and I'm re labeling them in my mind as they're happening. My business mentor said, Get rid of the word failure, throw it away, get it out of your vernacular, he said, because it's two terminal. It's to eternal. When you say failure, you're out of the game, he said, to supplant that with the words temporary defeat, he said, because temporary defeat is like being tackled, you're going to stand up and when you stand up, you're going to realize you've got a first down. And when you're first down, you're in the game, don't throw yourself out of the game by saying your failure or thinking. So when a person says I'm such a failure, why am I such a guess what number one? I just had to re change that in my mind. I had to re label it when I said it because I don't believe that in my life. But also we have the freedom of choice. Life is a blessing. And every single adversity is a great blessing because they teach us patience, They teach us hope, they teach us perseverance.

They teach us all the things we need to learn. And I've heard a great and one of the things my business mentor taught me, which was a great phrase, he said, Do you know that great people bring great times and great times brings weak people and weak people bring hard times and her times brings great people and great people bring great times. And so it continues. And they said, they remember that as we go through our life, as we do remember, Keep hope alive in your life. It's always there, there's always a reason and I can share hopefulness with you and important things that and I was very, very blessed. I had a radio talk show and I interviewed 1000 millionaires in two years and I was able to ask them so many great questions off the air that helped my education. And you know, in fact, so many of the interviews, I mean, they were for me, you know, I mean, I wanted I wanted to ask them questions off the air that I really was intrigued and I can share with you some things about 1000 over 1000 millionaires, commonalities, number one, they all not some of them, not a few of them, all of them had a kind in their life where everything told them do not at do the first the next step give up, throw in the towel.

Their family told them their finances, told them business associates told them the economy told them the list went on and on. But it was evident that they were being told do not do the next step, throw in the towel, give up, throw away hope forever. And you know, the next thing that many of them said now remember these are people that said the same thing, didn't know each other. I interviewed them separately at different even times different industries. And yet amazingly enough, they even used the same words sometimes some of them said the following words and it was so interesting. Was fascinating to me, these commonalities between all of them. And one of the things they said was, do you know, I took the next step out of curiosity to just see if I had missed anything, if there was anything else that could go wrong that I missed.

I said I just I took the next step just to to see is there any, it was like a morbid curiosity in a fascination. Did I miss anything that could go wrong because I think I've hit them all, there's nothing left. And they took that next step. And then they all said the next thing when they did, it was amazing what happened that when they did that next step when everything and I mean everything, everything told them not to. Things began to work out almost effortlessly on their own. They said things started to connect things started to come together. They said it was weird. It wasn't, it was like and then all of a sudden it was the other extreme things were coming together almost in spite of me, not because of me in spite of me. And and they said because I did that next step. I and that's why I appreciate at the end of the founder movie with ray crack. He does the you know the speech and persistence which which is very jermaine.

You know it is that we need to keep giving up and not giving up but keep doing the next step. And with the right frame of mind. And that's our gift. We got that gift from God that we have the freedom of choice and their choice includes our ability to frame events in our own minds. Our ability to think what does this event mean to me And how do I want to view this event? I'm not gonna let the event control me as my business mentor again to share with you. I said you always want to be responding not reacting. He said I can give you an example. He said we'll use the medical community if you were in getting some medical treatment. And the doctor came out and said they're reacting. Well that's probably not good right there. I mean they're not we're reacting to whatever the treatment is. Now if the doctor came out and said they're responding well that's good. Right? That that's a good thing. He said you always want to be in responsive mode. Not reactive mode. And here's how you do it when your intellect is controlling your emotions.

You are responding when your emotions are controlling your intellect. You are reacting and nothing good will come out of that. He said be in responsive mode. have your intellect. You have that freedom of choice have that intellect control your emotions. Because if not they are going to control you. And we see all the time in the Flynn daily negative. Another reference, right? Flynn daily, no one knows who they are. Uh The negative news, I used to call it years ago. The Flynn daily negative news, right? We see the reference of all these people who have their emotions controlling their intellect and they're strictly reacting. They're not responding. So when we're more when we have a more responsive life, when we have a life that's filled with hope, when we have a life that we know that no matter what adversity that the healing is there for us, but we have to move on. Our part is moving upside the leaves. It's already there. It's not like we have to craft it or make it up, it's there already.

We just have to move over the leaves and find it and the seeds are there and then we can take and do the next step of having a prosperous life. You know, E a. I am loving this conversation. And just this week, I've been reading some of the comments that that some of our followers are making With regards to hope and moving forward. And in particular one Gentleman said, I feel like giving up. I can't take that that step. And it was so interesting to me to read the replies that others made to him before I even saw this. And it was don't give up when you take that next step, this is what you'll find. This. Adversity has placed you in the in a position to grow to learn, to become even more of who you want to be got better self and to be able to give and everything you're saying is spot on with what Mark and I have been talking about and why we have here in the load and why we have trail Angels.

It's because of the adversity that we've experienced in our lives that we haven't given up, that we have moved those leaves, we found the seed and we planted the seed I believe, you know that next step is the action that we have to do something with that knowledge that intellect to move forward and and create and have those dreams become the reality. Absolutely, totally, totally agree. Look at that. We haven't even talked about givers and takers yet, right? Yeah. As as we listen to you and tell your story, uh you know, it's it's like first of all, where do you even start with questions at this point here? Because because you've shared so many different thoughts that could go so many different directions, but some of the some of the gives and takes that I take from from this conversation so far is the importance of mentorship.

You know, as we talk about failure and as we talk about the fact that we we we see people all around us who are content with failure, that might seem odd to say. But I think that there are so many people that are content with failure because they'd rather go around than through and we see that so often. But you know, I I probably need to ask this question, but the importance of mentors in our lives as as you talked about june Martino and as you've talked about sam Robbins and there are so many others in those 1000 people that you talk to that we're millionaires, they all have mentors in their life. They all have those that that helped them to achieve the level we don't get through life by ourselves, especially if we're successful, we don't get through that by ourselves, we might think that we are, but all of a sudden that humility is no longer and when we lose the ability to learn and to grow. So as e as we talk about mentorship, how can we bait a mentor to someone else, especially someone that is struggling someone that might be having a difficult time in their life for whatever reason, whether it's health, whether it's finances anything else, how can we be a mentor?

You just asked it, there's the question and uh it's uh it's almost your questions almost rhetorical because the fact is when someone asked the question you just did that answer is always going to be there because our lives are self fulfilling prophesies. So simply by asking that the way you asked it as a matter of fact, the answer will always be there. We will find those people and uh to digress, just for a moment to address one thing you said, my business mentor used to say humorously, he said, you know, There isn't an 11th commandment, but if there was, it should have been thou shalt not shoot too low in life. And uh and I always thought that that was great because so many times we do and we, you know, and we give up, we throw in the towel and and a lot of it has to do with those that are around us as I can certainly, and mentoring is critical and usually I have found the more successful someone is, the more when you are genuine see everyone.

So today they're so interested in looking good, I want to look smart, I want to get a look, I have my act together and you see it's the humble one that's gonna win humble one that's willing to say, you know what, I don't know that could you teach me that, I'd love to learn that and really mean it and you'll watch these really successful or prosperous people or people that can be great mentors in your life will just open up like june did I think june sensed that I really genuinely wanted to know. I wasn't just asking because I wanted to endear myself to this icon. She knew I really genuinely wanted to know, you know what what happened, you know, I was very, I genuinely was curious and fascinated by this whole thing. I was sitting in his house, I was in right. And, and so I think that's a part of it is being able to humble ourselves and being able to say, you know, how can I learn that? Where can I learn that? Where can I meet someone who could teach me that? Where can I meet someone like the one gentleman who excited put in uh, you know, a response in the post. The next question we should ask is where can I meet someone who can teach me how not to give up, but how to take the next step.

You asked a great question, right? That's the question to ask because then that person shows that's the way it works, asked the right question and then we get the next step. So the mentors are there and are all around us and with his university, we're gonna do some very exciting things specifically with mentors. Uh, we're working on some projects that will be forthcoming in the future. Uh, and I like Sheriff, I can a little bit about that. Uh, you know, as we can migrate into givers University and and really what we do because it's part and parcel, all of the things My mentor taught me all of the things that I learned from these 1000 millionaires. All got condensed into a series of three courses called Give to be Great. That now notice does not take to be great. It's give to be great, right? And and and hence, you know, the three books give Give his mindset courses. They're extra courses online courses, give his mindset, give his lifestyle and give his lifelong learning. And these are great impactful courses. And here's the thing that I can ask your listeners getting into what we actually do.

And I would ask your listeners to think about the fires you stamp out each day, think about the times when your stress level spikes and goes straight through the roof each day, think about the times where you have conversations with people, you don't remember what the conversation is about anymore, but you do know one thing for sure, you have no more energy left. They just drained it all from you. All three of those people, All three of those instances all have one thing in common, there's a name attached to them. And one thing that we teach that is not being taught and I do 123 podcasts today. Uh, and I can share with you that I know for a fact this is not being taught by anyone else or any other entity and that is discernment in relationships. So I share with your listeners we love everybody. I emphatically say we love everybody and we teach people how to discern a.

K a separate the person who we love from their deeds, which we may not love. And by watching the things they do that broad, innocuous swaths of information that sound good. And after we here, then we go, okay, what do I do with that? We have a much more granular approach and I, we've actually identified these are the actual deeds you should be watching and observing. Example if right now and that if you had, I'll just say if maybe you had uh itchy eyes and runny nose from observing those symptoms, I could begin to assess and discern. You may have a cold. Right? I'm not able to see the cold. The cold is the cause. But the symptoms that I observe are teaching me that supplant the symptoms with deeds. So we teach people observe these deeds, the actual things they're doing not the there's like one guy said those few interviews because he said, hey man, you know, this is great stuff.

I love this. I read a book and the books that I got to surround myself with five people. I said, you're right, you do need to do that question. Which five? Yeah. And he went, um, you know, I had these little orphan Annie eyes and the screen. That's all I got. I said, you get my point, No one's teaching us how to discern which five, I'm a self improvement person. Obviously, the both of you are many of your listeners are and if not they should be on a regular self improvement course. One of the most important self improvement things do I do every day as I read the bible cover to cover every single year. Cover to cover. And I have other self improvement books I participate in as well. And and and this is a part of a regiment that I do every morning. I do the same thing like clockwork and and we need to have a regiment because that helps us with hope and it helps us move ahead with our lives. So we teach people to be able to advance in their lives by discerning other relationships and what people are doing, observing their deeds now.

So when we say giver, we're not labeling a person because we don't label people were labeling the deeds. When we say giver, we're saying give her deeds. When we say taker, we're not labeling a person as a taker, we're labeling the deeds of a taker. So we teach people look for these things. And because when you see them do certain things now, you may want to pull them in closer into your life, become a part of your giver community. We all should want to build a giver community around ourselves because we were bringing with them the three Ws of givers wisdom, wealth and wellness. By contrast, if we see them doing other certain deeds, we may want to begin discerning and respectfully distancing ourselves, not rude or insensitive or nasty, respectfully distancing ourselves because takers bring with them the three Ds of a taker, which is defeatism, disruption and destruction, and if I bring them closer into my life, I'm going to become unwilling collateral damage and I'm going to be stomping out fires that are not of my making and what's my productivity going to do?

Go straight to the floor. What's my stress level gonna do? Go straight to the roast. I want to have people around me that are giving the energy because I'm giving them energy back. So we teach people look for these things discern. So we teach people how to discern their relationships. Example, I was very blessed and becoming a commercial pilot in years past to fly my planes. And one of the things, the very first thing my instructor taught me when I was getting my private pilot ticket, we sat in the plane the first day and he says, I'm going to teach you something about looking out the window and I said, okay, he said, whenever you look out the window, whenever you see a plane, you always want to see the plane go from this size to this size. You never want to see the plane go from this size to this size while you're looking at it, He said because when you see it go that way it's coming at you and it might be 600 knots closure. So be discerning, watch it from a distance. So what do we teach people The plane, The plane we teach now?

The reference we teach people look at these things, discern in your relationships and watch how your productivity goes up. I'm self improvement, yourself, improvement. Your listeners are self improvement, but no one today is teaching. How about the other guy? What if he's not doing it right? What should I do about that? And that's what we teach, what do we do about that? How do we build that relationship of the right kind of people around us? And one of the things as two of the final nights I'd like to share with your listeners as I think are very important nuggets. That is number one they may have some people in their life right now, maybe a family member that's being a little, let's say take a rish. And you know, they're thinking as they're listening to me talk here and there thinking, you know boy, this is great stuff. I'll tell you what, I know, some of my family needs to hear stuff. I mean, you know they're being a little takers and then I want to broach the subject with him, but I don't want to hurt their feelings, but it needs to be discussed, they're being taken right here.

Do you know that one of the best things they could do is share a podcast called trail angels carrying the load and they should share it with them and be a giver and share it and here's why it's a third party approach. It's a great way to share something with him and simply say, you know what I heard a really thought provoking. It really made me think, I thought provoking podcast and they do me a favor, listen to it, tell me what you think. You never know, it might open their mind up and you may have one less fire you're stopping out in your life because you were a giver and you shared with them. And the last thing I'd like to share with you, which is I think paramount to those that are listening to, you're a great podcast and I think that this is, this is really, really important because it's something that my business mentor taught me to say to myself every day and for those that want to have hope, those that want to keep hope alive, Those that are seeking the change they want to have in their life so that they can find the meaning and fulfillment that they want.

So they can be happy and then prosperous because wealth is not necessarily money And, and, and these are the three things that my business mentor taught me to say to myself in a concluding golden nugget. I'd love to be able to share with your listeners and that is as follows. These are the three things he taught me to say every day and I've been saying them every day and I can tell you they work wonders and every one of your listeners should begin saying these three things every day and they are as follows. I will never give up, I will keep rising up and I will always overcome profound, profound thank thank you so much. E a you know, like I said a few minutes ago, I wouldn't even know where to start with asking questions here because you have addressed some of the some of the issues that we have questions on every single day as we talk to people.

And uh I love, I love the fact that if I were to take anything and I took so many nuggets and Annette and I have been writing notes like crazy. I have had to open it ran out of pages. It's not very often that were speechless when it comes to our podcast, but we've purposely been speechless because you have had so much wisdom and as you've talked about responding versus reacting as you've talked about becoming a mentor that is within each of us. And I just want to reiterate those three nuggets that you left us with, I will never give up, I will keep rising up and I will always overcome, I, I love that those are those are great mantras to share with yourself. We don't need to share with anybody else, but with ourselves every single day. And I can commit right now. That I am going to say those to myself, Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. What a great gift that is to me. Thank you. So, and ea just one more thing. You know, I the power of the discernment in relationships. I the key, you know the value of that and you're right. We don't hear that often. We hear don't judge, don't judge. Well, we're not judging here. But there is that discernment in our relationships. And honestly, as I'm thinking here is you've been sharing these things and I thought, you know what, for some reason, I was blessed with that desire and that gift to see and to have that discernment in others. Because I always watched and and those people that I respected and I thought so highly of I incorporated those things that they were doing that were, that helped them to become better their Children to be better those around them to be better.

I wanted to be like them. I asked the questions I watched and then I incorporated them. And so, I feel like it's because of that gift of discernment in relationships that I am, who I am today and I'm where I am today and not some scumbag on the street corner, who is a taker. That's great. So, so just uh I gotta ask you a fun question to, to finish our conversation with uh, Michael Keaton played Ray Crock, who played the janitor. All right, That would have been to me. I would have, I would have I played the janitor, who would have played the janitor if the janitor played a part that would have been me, you know, back in the background, you know, the, you know, the guy with the bucket and a mop in his hand, you know, saying, you know, look at that, look at that, look at that, you know, it's such a great, you know, and again, I I referenced to listeners, you know, it's Hollywood spin, but either way it was based on events that actually did happen.

And because of that, it is certainly a good watch. Thank you so much for having me on your podcast and I truly pray that we're able to impact people and uh, and, and provoke some thought that's going to help them move ahead, help them retain hope and keep hope alive and be discerning in relationships and realize having the wrong people around us that are taken in their deeds, not judging people, but their deeds. Those people can have a direct impact on our hope. They can have a direct impact on our change. And it's just like when we were kids and we found someone else, you know, next thing, you know, we're saying the same thing there. And there used to be a joke used to say you owe me a coke because you said the same thing that saying at the same moment, they said it proof that we say those things when we're around those people and we become like that. And so let's be discerning and who those relationships are and go to Givers University dot com. Meet us. Uh, sign up for our newsletter. We have a free newsletter. We don't pelt your emails. I don't believe in doing that. We sent out one email a week that has helpful nurturing nuggets that are going to help you discern and help you in your life.

You know, I just have you sign up for something. Next thing, you know, getting six emails a day and I'm like, unsubscribe. Unsubscribe. And you know, so you know, and we're gonna give them some free downloads. We want them to have one of them. I love, it's called the 25 DUIs. These are the actual deeds to watch for the 25 things that givers do that you should be watching for them to do. Or by contrast, the takers are not doing. And uh, they're gonna, so they go to givers plural. Givers University dot com and they'll be able to sign up for our newsletter there and um, we look forward to being able to share with them and benefit and thank you so much for having your great show. And also, uh, you know, God bless what you're doing. I think, you know, the more people are aware of the importance of trail angels in their life, the more they're going to realize how it's important to have those around them and how they can so positively move us ahead at so much faster and easier speed because we can learn from them.

People who willingly want to give thank thank you and thank you listeners for joining us today as well. We hope that you've enjoyed our conversation with e a silk of its as we've discussed. And you know, we, we could probably fill in the blank as we've discussed. But but but I'm going to say responding versus reacting and not giving up there. There's so much that we've talked about here. Each of us have a story to share. Author Burn A brown reminds us that owning our story is the bravest thing that will ever do. The stories and experiences that our guests share inspire us as well as help us to grow and to connect with others. We invite you to become a part of carrying the load community through social media as well as to share the site with those. You know, we are stronger together, keep carrying well

Give To Be Great
Give To Be Great
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