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Permission to be Happy - Episode 77

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September 21st 2021
00:39:56
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You can find to Adrienne’s website here: Adrienne Cooley and on Instagram here: More

while Annaba should you started for women, it became clear, men are benefiting from the content so we've decided to refresh the brand of it, you will still see the pair with the teal background and the name unabashedly. You stays the same instead of women talking about stuff because that is no longer accurate. We've moved to conversations to become who you already are on the website, it goes on to say be who you are without apology as you are one of a kind without equal. These conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So listen, read and be inspired and today I say thanks for joining us. Adrian is a breath of fresh air. She exudes the kind of happiness. We all want a piece of the good news. We can actually have that be. That turns out it's not as hard as we sometimes make it out to be.

Listen to how she became an accidental author by coming from a dark, depressing time of the soul to learning about the science of happiness shifting and allowing happiness in Adrian and I have recently become acquainted through instagram, here is what I know so far. She is an author having written three books. Happy Anyway, Love Anyway and her latest believe Anyway, you hear a pattern here. I have not read them yet but I'm looking forward to hearing more about her passion. Adrienne is also kind, warm and inviting that much is clear already Welcome to the show Adrienne and she's also known by addie Thank you so much. It's wonderful to get to be, be here with you today and I just can't wait to get to know you better. I know me too.

I feel the same way. And isn't that wonderful that we can carve out this time in real life in real time and have a conversation? Is there anything you want the listeners still about you to get us started? So you know, the main thing I would like people to know is that I've had a salt of all kind of experience where you know, I went from being depressed to now my car tags this happy lady. So I feel like God changed my name from sad and depressed and down. So now when that show up anywhere, they're like, oh the happy girl. Well, only God could do that. Well you are very radiant, effervescent, you sparkle, you've got that joy. And I, I want to hear more about that just a minute. What three words would you use to describe yourself? So when I think of that question, I think of the word happy first of all and then a courageous because I'm just kind of too crazy to quit.

Uh, I'll face anything. And then the third word my kids say that I come in clutch. So that's one of the words that they used to describe me as mom's cut, right? You know, and I just recently became acquainted with that term meaning like being there in a pinch. Is that what that means? That's right. Yes, dependable. Just you can count on right to come in, come in clutch because my cousin who lives in Minnesota was telling us a story and she kept using that expression. So I was like, okay, context clues, Let's see here. Oh, okay. I understand what she's saying, wow. Okay. So those are really three great words. Happy. I've already forgotten the middle one. Coming Rage and courageous. It's always that middle one, courageous. That and that of course is a very good word. Too crazy to quit. I love that to a really good one. Okay, two truths and lie. Say three things about yourself.

Let me see if I can figure out which one is not true. Okay, so I love salty snacks. Uh I've been to the top of the Eiffel Tower and I went to High school with Faith Hill. Ooh, Faith Hill, Eiffel Tower and salty snacks. That's such a nice variety. Random. No, but that see that's what's so funny about this is that you really can go really random. Okay. Uh I think now don't correct me yet, but I'm just you get to hear my thought process. Okay, I think you let us all these snacks. I think you've probably been in the top of the Eiffel Tower. I mean and I think you might have gone to I think they're all true, but now I have to I just have to pick one. All right. I'm gonna go with the fatal you did not go to High School of Faith Hill. I did. Oh my God this is fun I guess. I don't, can I tell you the one that you want to take between the other two?

Well you don't like salty snacks, correct? I love sweet stuff. Oh woman after my own heart. Oh yes the sweets got to have a little something. Okay those are really good. Okay so when you go to have a snack you're not grabbing something salty. So what do you grab it? Sweet that's a snack. So when I'm behaving I grab, I grab stevia, sweetened chocolate chips and ginger tea. Crazy combination but hot ginger tea and chocolate chips. It's just so good. Oh my gosh and they're sweetened with us with stevia and they're so good. I wish I could remember the brand but like whole foods are fresh market or locator joe. Yeah. What a good tip. A great tip. Okay so clearly you've been at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Yes we actually yes we lived in India for five years and so we would go through europe on the way and had all kinds of fun during those days on the way there and back.

Whoa whoa did you? Isn't there a restaurant did you eat in the restaurant or We did not eat in the restaurant. I think we thought about it. But yeah we just went and then yeah we just we would normally just have a few days you know on our way to and from Asia so wow okay, well you saw it, you were in it, that's the most important part. Yes. Yeah. My goodness. Okay so you did go to high school or to school with Faith Hill and where did you all grow up? Star Mississippi? Yes. One of her songs is a Mississippi girl don't change her ways. I don't know, I heard that country so that's great, how fun is that? It's so wonderful. She was my role model, we cheered together you know and we and so yeah I'm so proud of her. She's just she's as amazing as you would think she might be. That's good to hear because yeah, always the case. Right. Right, right. But she really is, she is really real and I've noticed that about you, you value just the real and the raw it seems like and she's she's definitely like that.

Oh I I absolutely do and it's wonderful to hear that she does as well. I I think you know we all need so much more of that so much more. Yeah. All right. One of your favorite movies of all time. I would have to that was hard because I love a good sick flick but maybe Pretty Woman would be at the very I just love it if you have somebody else who has said Pretty Woman. So that's a good one. But it's kind of a modern classic. Would you get it that way? Yeah, it really is. Yeah, I'm gonna have, I really am going to have to revisit that one. I haven't seen that one in quite a while. So I will have to revisit and I'll quote it. Okay. So you quote it. It's a romantic comedy. You love that the love story aspect, the richard Gere and Julia roberts the whole pack. Yeah, okay. Just you know somebody like her that came you know so far and didn't you know, kind of didn't lose who she was and I just love when she went back in that store and said big big mistake, you know, you never know and we should always know that we don't know who we're dealing with.

So we should be kind, we don't know, you know to everybody. Exactly. Right. Exactly. Right. That is yeah. I really do want to revisit that that's thank you for that reminder. A woman that inspires you so Nicole crank would came to mind first. I don't know if you've heard of her. No, I don't think I have tell me about her. So she is, she's actually become a dear friend of mine and we have become close and but she for years I would just watch her on social media and and she's actually a christian speaker, author, pastor's wife of a church that has multiple campuses all over the country and I just, I'm a pastor's wife and author and you know, and so I just would watch her and think I am supposed to know her like she is just you know, you don't want to try to be someone else, you want to be authentically who you are, but it's great to have role models to, to kind of model after and you know, learn what's working and things like that and so just more and it's just was the craziest God thing that we got to meet and now we've actually gone on trips together.

Like we, I mean it's just I just spent to myself that I get to live this life that God has blessed me with, you know, so then I've getting a close look even in her life and just have learned so much from her. So her latest book is called thrive, I will thrive. And it's like it's like the word survive is like ripped off and instead it says thrive and anybody that's been through like, especially super traumatic experiences in life, it would be, I'm launching my book and I'm talking about hers, but it's funny. So she's just, she's great, well we're gonna get, we're gonna get two years for sure and I do love that word thrive. I think it is, it is such a great word and it's so packed with a lot of power and impact. So I think that word is fantastic really, what it means And I love words and I'm sure you do too, being an author silly not a silly question, of course you love words and a piece of wisdom you keep handy.

What's a piece of wisdom you keep handy? I think probably the greatest piece of wisdom that my mom said to me all the time and sometimes it was because she noticed me not doing this well and I and I really do keep this handy just for myself and and you know, give it to people who would like to know is just to be there. You are person, it's so powerful, you know, to walk in a room instead of being a here I am. You know, everybody because I, I do love a good party and I love fun and I can, you know, so I have to remember though, it's not all about us, right? It's about who you're there to be with O B A. They're person. There you are a person. Yes, there you are person instead of here I am. Yeah. Oh wow, that. And where do you suppose she got that? Her mother maybe.

So yeah. And and probably the necessity to uh train me that in that because my mom, my mom went to heaven about actually almost right at five years ago and her her sister, my aunt said, you know, she lived in a world with all of us, We all have a microphone in our hands, you know, and she never wanted to be in the limelight. You know, she just she's so exemplified that just celebrating everyone around her. And so I definitely, even though I do have a microphone in my hand a lot of time, you know, I don't want to be that way. Yeah, well you don't strike me as that way at all, strike me as somebody who is very humble and somebody who really wants to share. You don't seem to be about promotion, but sharing and for me, there's a huge distinction between the two and you know, while we're doing this in the summer series, everybody's doing all these great things and we talk about the great things they're doing, but it's not about well let me get on there and give you my talking points about this thing I do and then I'm off, it's like, no, no, no, no, let's just have a conversation and let's yeah, let's get to your passion and have it be in a real authentic way.

And so often it's about enhancing the other's experience and whatever it is, Right? Yes, Yes, because one of my favorite things that I say all the time is that God created us to connect first to him and then to each other and that's what it's all about and that's what I keep hearing from you that I like so much is that it's just about that real connection. Oh I just believe that you are speaking my language girl. I knew there was a reason we connected and now we're connections and then you know and then being able to have a conversation you know through the connection I think is so valuable and you know in the age of the finger, the thumb texting and communicating and not that there isn't a place for that, there is, there is but I think we have to make sure that we're not um minimizing you know, our face to face, even if it's digitally face to face.

Like how cool is this that you and I'm looking at you, you're looking at me, we're looking at each other, it's so great. You know, we can connect and have a conversation in real time. Let's just not love it. Which tape brings us to your passion and this is what you're sharing on social media, which as I mentioned in the intro, you're an author, so you love words, you love ideas, you want to share those with other people this anyway. Series first let's like I want to know how did the anyway start and then how it continues because we've got Happy Anyway love Anyway believe Anyway, so walk us through some of that mental, you know, peppering with some questions as we go, okay, so I found myself I kind of alluded to this in the beginning really in a dark place, really dark. I had a great life still have a great life. I have a wonderful family. But I just, I think just became really overwhelmed with just all the business of life and being a pastor's wife and what that entails.

People come in and out of your life and you think your clothes and then they leave and go somewhere else, you know whatever. And I just kind of got to this place where I wasn't sure I could hold up to that the rest of my life and, and because relationships are so important to me and uh so I really just started getting consumed. I'll never forget. I saw this beach bag. We're near the beach. We're only like 30, minutes from the beach. Uh Gulf Shore's Pensacola Beach, that area. Uh and I saw this beach back, somebody had and it was this huge word escape and my mouth just started watering almost like I need a beach with a little drink with an umbrella and it doesn't even have to be alcoholic or anything. Just just just get away, just escape. Right. Right. And and I started just being consumed with escaping. Then it became further than that.

Like I really, this is silly, but I would just think of go into texas and changing my name because texas is a big state when we were in school. We if we got in trouble, we had the right lines. Texas is a big state 100 times and I don't know, I guess I just thought I could go get lost there and uh and then it just got kind of darker and darker and just I really began to just wish I was dead and started thinking that I wouldn't say that it was really suicidal thoughts but just consumed with this thought that maybe the world would be better without me. Maybe you know just just this hopelessness and won a leading pastor's wife in the country almost like a christian celebrity called me on my phone. First of all I'm thinking how did she get my number and why would she be calling me inviting me to this trip? A missions trip to Haiti And I just knew I had to go on that. So when I yes, so when I did I was thinking I lived in India.

This isn't I don't I mean I'm not gonna get anything out of this but I'm gonna go. I just felt led to go. Well after the trip is funny just in the little ordinary things like you kind of talk about. I think it's um I was on an elevator with her in Miami in a hotel when she found out that these clipboards that she and her mother had dec UPA judged to like for all of us there were eight of us I think on that trip and she had decomposed and personalize them for us. She found out that they had all stuck together on the flight. Gosh! And she found out, you know what she did. Her response just changed my life. I'm just simply on the elevator with her when she finds out and she just gut laugh and said, aren't you glad we know now that life's too short to worry about clipboards and I said, aren't you glad we know that now? Well, it was like, I tell this story is so funny, but it's so real. I got back to my hotel room just a few minutes later we've got off the elevator and it was like when I opened my door it was almost like the holy spirit was standing there going, you lie, you fried like you do not know that you would be so mad right now if that happened to you.

But seriously, I just realized this woman was the real deal. She had a happiness that I was not walking in fully. And so I had a couple of days to kind of just be alone after the trip in a hotel room and I just cried out to God and I said, I want to be happy. And I really felt like not that I heard God's voice audibly, but just that still small voice on the inside of me said I want you to be happy and like you said, my nickname is addie kevin, my husband says I can sometimes get an attitude and I did. So I got an attitude with God and I said, no you don't, you don't care about my happiness. You just want me to have joy whatever that is. Well, I don't know if you've ever sat asked God, but you know you can handle it. He can. Yes.

So so I did what anybody would do. I googled the word happy and when I did, I'm telling you it was amazing. I found this this definition and it's in my first book, Happy. Anyway, I have my books here with you. This is the this is happy anyway, but let's see it. I found this it's an enjoying showing or being marked by pleasure, satisfaction or joy. When I read it, it was like enjoying joy, just talked off the screen. And so to scriptures came to mind that in his presence is fullness of joy and another one is that God gave us all things richly to enjoy. So it was like I got you. Yes, yes, yes. I got permission from God that day in my heart to be happy. And then he gave us joy to enjoy it. And enjoying joy is a definition of happiness and I just haven't shut up since it's like I found my happy.

Yeah. And I just Yeah, happy. Yeah, that's how it started. So as I began to study for this that I was just blogging, I sat that night and wrote out little topics that just were coming to me as fast as I could, right? And I went back and counted and it was 52, which that became the first, the first year of my blogs happy Monday blog that I do. And I've been doing ever since then for about seven years now. I think everyone has a blog. So yeah, so yeah, so then I just kept studying and I ran across this this just just unbelievable study called the Harvard Grant study is the most comprehensive scientific study, 75 years, $22 million dollars spent on this study to scientifically prove the secret to a happy and fulfilled life. And guess what they found it was to enjoy love, love.

Love is the secret to a happy and fulfilled life. That connection that we're talking about. And so then I knew love anyway had to come next. And then Yes, yeah, so that's how it works and then believe anyway, faith works by love. You know? And so there's there's just this connection of of our faith and what we're believing for. You know, there's a lot of science and I love how science and scripture support each other in the study that I've done. And uh and so yeah, so there's a lot of science, if you can see it, you can be it. That's the first chapter believe anyway. You see it and be it and and just, you know, some people call it like, you know, the universe uh Law of attraction, you know, different things like that. But there's uh yeah, so it gets into all kinds of things I believe anyway. Okay, so you started with a blog seven years ago. Had you, had you published or written anything before that time?

No, it's so funny. I still, when I hear you say that I'm an author, I just want to laugh because my husband is such a great writer. My two boys would get awards in school about, you know, with writing and here I'm the published author. That is just hilarious to me because I don't, I never really set out to be a writer. I didn't that's not something I always wanted to be or anything, But I do know, I do this is kind of funny. I remember laying in bed at 15 years old had taken an economics class I think in high school and they taught us in that class that the way to like, you know, the most richest ever would be to solve a problem that you know, are to create something that everybody wants. And so I remember even in high school just dreaming like I want to solve a problem that everybody has.

You know, one day Lord, if you would call me to, you know, what, what product could I invent that could just, you know, help all of humanity the most something that we all want. Well, it's funny because I had, you know, not thought of that in years and after these books came out, I started thinking this is that I mean, not that it's gonna, it hasn't like maybe rich or anything, but in my heart and my heart is so full and fulfill because I know that it's what Zig Ziglar says, you know, everybody just wants to be happy basically. And yeah, so, oh, so it's been a journey. Yes. It's been a fun journey. Right, okay, so, okay, the first one came out, How many years ago? 2016 five years maybe? Yeah, Yeah. Okay. How did you get that one published? You ended up with this material and you're like, oh my gosh, I think I just wrote a book.

Yes. So what I did because I was just like I said, I'm not, I just was like, I don't know if I want to do this. I just had it on typing paper with little notes with my pin. There were grant, there were typos and I just printed it all out actually. I did it like week by week and just just kind of ran it as a small group in my church and I did it three times because it just kept But they're, this became this phenomenon. I would be text like five or 10 times a day with somebody saying I was in the worst traffic, but oh well happy anyway, like somebody just cut me off in the line at the grocery store and I would have normally cussed him out. But oh well happy anyway, so I just, I realized I found the poem, Mother Teresa's famous poem and it says in there. Uh, and she wrote the forward. She didn't know it, but she basically wrote the forward to my first book, but it's her poem and it says if you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous, be happy.

Anyway, that's one of the stances. And I thought, okay, I'm in good company, I need to go with this. And so again, I, you know, I ran it for a third time in our church and the small group was just the best conversation and just more and more people kept coming and I'm like, okay, I think there's something to this. So, so your next step. So you thought, okay, this is seems really if this is having impact, which is wonderful. You share, Yeah, this stuff you you research and you put together and your own words and thoughts now. How did you take it from there to getting it actually published. So I actually self published the first book. And uh, you know, because we lived in India, we have actually lots of churches who support the work there in India. And so we have contacts with several churches. And so we just like, you know, let them know and a lot of them have me come and speak to their women's groups.

And so I just kind of did a book tour that first year and yeah, and so just went and spoke and just have the best time at, you know, Mother's morning out programs all the way to big women's conferences and everything in between. And, and I love I would love to, you know, to speak at, I don't care if it's 10 people or 10,000 people, I just, you know, want to get this message in my heart out to as many as as we can. So then beautiful. Yes. So then with Love Anyway, that was published. Uh and so then that's how the, you know, just from contacts and friendships and relationships, someone uh like we connected with each other and they just recommended me to stop to a publisher and they called and wanted and were interested in it. So how exciting was that was like, oh my goodness, I think I think I'm an author.

Yeah, I published my second book. All right, it was so great. So yeah, yeah, so that was that was fun. So yeah, it's been it's just been so unexpected because I'm very much a make life happen first and not to let life happen, you know, and I just will, but this whole thing has just been like, just so so God, gosh, that is absolutely incredible. And so right now you're launching, believe anyway, correct. It's available now. Yes, so yes, you can get it on the pre it's the pre release is available on amazon and they tell me That if you'll go ahead and order it before September 14 which is the day that actually releases that you know gives better chances with the algorithms and all that stuff on Amazon for it to get out to more people and things.

So yeah, so we're trying to get the word out as much as we can for people to go ahead and and reorder their yeah preorder their book on Amazon now. Yeah, that's great. Well we'll be sure to include your website and instagram info in our show notes and I'll put the link in there as well. I'm trying to think of. I I think this episode is going to release after that date so we might just miss it but still people can can still order it now. Let me ask your do you have is the book set up to be interactive? Are there like thought provoking questions? Is there a workbook? I mean what what happened? So that that is what's so unique about I don't I don't even you probably don't know this because I haven't told you. So this book this. Yes the answer is yes there I say I say to people that you're going to get as much out of this book from what you write in it as you get from what I write in it and I know that this is just audio but there are things I wish I could show everyone but if you go onto amazon and get you can see but there are word fines happy anyway had happy face, word finds and then love anyway had heart shaped word finds, I mean there's a maze one chapter and believe anyway is obey now understand later.

Have you ever needed to do that with God or and so there's a maze where you start the maze right and you don't let me understand but you get to you know, you just keep going and then you finally get to where and so yeah, so there's a maze, there's just all these fun. So it's very interactive, very interactive there. That's my favorite kind of book. There's science and there's a, it's called the Science of believing in this book. There's different little science segments. Each chapter is broken up into segments. There's also a hope hope segment where you actually take a scripture and you put it through the hope process and in love it was the love process and happy, it was the happy process. And so there it explains how to do that and where you just can get squeezed everything you can out of each verse and probably my favorite part of each chapter is called the baskets, the baskets. We all you know, there are seven baskets of life, personal, social spiritual, physical financial, did I say career And family.

So there are seven. So each chapter has like goals and it helps you helps you really mine out what your goals are, what your priorities are and how to focus in and it sort of goes along with that chapter, each one of those baskets and so I'm looking for real life change with you know, I want, if I'm going to take time to read a book, I want some things in my life to change as a result of that book unless I'm just reading, you know, big fun but this you know, is kind of more along the self help slash you know, spiritual growth type books. And so there's also Germaine Copeland, I don't know if you ever read the prayers that avail much books but she was a new york times bestseller in the eighties and nineties and we have now become friends. I'm actually about to go and spend some time with her and her prayer cabin and she wrote an excerpt and many like legend, she's a legend and she read a little excerpt in one of the chapters that's called Our Secret weapon, which spoiler alert is prayer but you know, and again the science behind meditation is there, you know, and uh they in here, I share about when they studied the brain during prayer and what happens and it's just so yeah, so there is fun, so you said you love the word thrive and so it's so hilarious how God is connected Nicole and I she's actually speaking at my happy girl conference, which is september 24th and 25th.

I'm not sure if this will air before after that, but it's so two years a year before. The pandemic is actually when I wrote this by line, I believe anyway, and it's how to thrive no matter what life throws at you. So and then life through this pandemic at us. And so to me, it's just amazing. God is the God who sees ahead provides. And so then this book is just coming out right at the right time when all of us, you know, just so much keeps getting thrown at us and uh where we, you know, sometimes it's I tell people this about happy love and believe sometimes it's more about but anyway, right, You know, and so yeah, so I'm excited for Nicole and I were going to do this conference together, the end of september with her book thrive and then this with wonderfully great. Yeah, that is a great idea to partner this, you'll have to come come see us where uh we'll we'll talk about Yeah, it's and it's is it in your link tree on your instagram?

It is it is on my website event right? You can yeah, you can go an event, right, just search Happy Girl Conference or Adrian coolly and it'll pop up as well. So what a great thing to title it. Happy Girl, I think that's fun. We have it's like the best merch coming too. I'm so excited about the merge this year. Happy girl, that was so wonderful. Adrian has been such a pleasure and really, you know we both love words and it's an honor. We kind of started out this called use it as an honor. I said it really is an honor for me. I mean I love I love that word and what it actually means, it's really a sacred um it's a sacred word, I mean it's not you know, it was nice to meet you. Yes, it was nice to meet you but it's more than that. It was a pleasure of blessing and honor to get to connect with you. I am very excited about all of the things you're doing and want to come alongside and support you in any way I can um wow, there's so much goodness you, you you want to share all this goodness Yes, if you ever wants to listen, I love it and I love what you're doing and I mean just you coming in and having different people share.

I've watched some of your uh some of your episodes or listen to them and it's just I mean I just love your spirit. I love it. It's just a breath of fresh air that was our directional this morning. Wonderful. The word for spirit is I think new mo or new most and it and it just means a breath of fresh air and that you seem to be, You are to me, I love you as you are to me Well thank you. And obviously this connection is going to continue. Yeah, good I guess good stuff. Absolutely. All right. Well, I have some few things to look into. Happy girl. Get the book. You know, I got I've got some homework here. I better get to it. Have a wonderful day. Adrian, I I look forward to more connection. Well, you too, thank you so much. Thank you. Take care. Bye bye for Ben. Mm hmm. Mhm. Her heart is full and fulfilled. She's doing the thing she learned back in her economics class in high school.

Find something to help humanity the most right where you are. And she is Adrian is sharing with the rest of us all that she has studied all that she has learned to be happy anyway to love anyway and to believe anyway, she herself embodies the experiences that have brought her to this place. She is one Happy girl. The unabashedly website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes in a blog with embedded audio, unabashedly dot com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support encouragement. We invite you to subscribe, follow, rate, review and share on instagram and facebook. You can find us under unabashedly you if you want to connect the email is unabashedly you at gmail dot com for questions, comments, etcetera. And if you want to be on our weekly email list highlighting that week's episode, give me a shout, I'd be happy to add you and your info will not be shared. We rely upon website, visit social media and word of mouth to share these episodes.

We are grateful for growth. Knowing these conversations, help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now our blessing may the blessings of this day radiate through your smile. Be helpful through your hands and shine through your heart. Amen that is from your face dot com. Happy yes Bianna bash it, be you.

Permission to be Happy - Episode 77
Permission to be Happy - Episode 77
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