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What's Your Mom Superpower?

by What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood
December 9th 2020
This episode topic was suggested by Pam Marie in our Facebook group:  What's your mom superpower? We often talk about what we get wrong, but what about the things you're really good at? Time to flex, ... More
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Don't wanna talk to anyone at nine AM What fresh hell laughing in the face of motherhood. I think I sometimes talk too much with Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson. I'm hopeless. Ah, podcast that solves today's parenting dilemmas. So you don't have Thio. Thesis E. V s is really not going to have everything you're looking for the day before Christmas. Hey, everybody, welcome to what fresh hell. This is Amy and this is Margaret. And this week we are asking, What's your mom? Superpower? This was suggested by Pam Marie on our Facebook page. Facebook dot com forward slash What fresh hell cast. If you join our group, you can start conversations. And so Pam Marie said, What's your mom's superpower? We often talk about what we get wrong, but what about the things you're really good at time to flex? What fresh hell community. So thanks for the suggestion. It was a good one. I love

this suggestion. I love what happened on this thread that people were really happy to think about what they're good at. And it's a good reminder that especially in these dark times literally, figuratively, metaphorically and every other way that we should spend some time patting ourselves on the back. I have a long standing problem saying back Pat on this podcast. I've tried to say it before, like give yourself a pat back, but it's back, Pat, Pat yourself on the back. You could just say Pat on the back. Maybe that's all you need is just separate it. I should just go with that, I guess. But I do think that giving yourself a pat on the back every once in a while my father in law often says, like everyone needs an Atta boy every once in a while and sometimes you have to give it to yourself. And this was such a nice threat because people we're telling their super powers. And then other people were saying like, great job with that superpower. I really admire you And it was a love fest and I appreciated it. Yeah, Nicole says it made me smile

just to take a minute and think of my strengths. Yeah, because I do think this is something we don't often do because we tend to focus on what do we need to improve as a family? It helps me remember, like, let's spend some time on, like who did a great job on something this week to what's going great? You know, there's like, thing in schools now. I caught you being good. No, I don't know this. Sometimes people post them. I don't know if I've ever seen in my kids school, but they have something in my kids school called being a bucket filler, which is like their idea is, I think it's based on a book, but you can either dip into other people's buckets or help fill other people's buckets. And so you wanna be a bucket filler. That's what they talk about it. The school. And sometimes you have to be a self yes, Sometimes you have to fill your own bucket, but sometimes the kids will come out of school for the day and they'll have, Ah, sticker on that says I was a bucket filler. And then I'll say, Oh, what happened? Oh, my friend didn't have a pencil and I lent or one or whatever. So they try. I think a lot of schools were trying to reorient towards, you know, finding people being good, and I like this practice of Let's

talk about our strengths. So what's your mom? Superpower? I have two moms superpowers. My number one superpower is that I have. What my husband refers to is the super sniffer. I could smell anything like if someone, I mean I can't think of it's practically use right now. It has a lot of downsides because also, if I cook something, I smell it for four days. Like my nose is, I'm a super sniffer. And so But it used to be like I would walk in the house like someone's got a dirty diaper in here, you know? I mean, I have a super sniffer, Okay? It helps the world, even if it's not good for you. It's for the larger world. It's a wonderful thing. So thank you. Yeah. I mean, it's a superpower in its own way. The other thing I'm very good at is when my kids like something that they taste somewhere else or someone else's house. I am very good at reverse engineering recipes, eso like if we go toe cheesecake factory and there's like an enchilada that they like. I mean, a lot of times I just google it, but I Google like six recipes, and I make the mid

version of those six things, and that's a super power. Okay, All right. What's your superpower and my mom? Superpower? I was reflecting on this and I think my super power is my ability of visual recall. Like I can remember something by seeing it in my head so I can remember a phone number or something by, like, just really concentrating and trying really hard to see the, you know, Brownie troop contact list on the bulletin board. It's almost like I can see it. And then I can, like, zoom in and actually see the phone number and almost read it, because from the picture I have in my head, I have this a little bit with my calendar that I we keep a family calendar on the fridge and I use colored markers because I'm very good at being like I don't know what we have today, but I know there's something in red today. Something in green, right? Right, And so I know to go check because I don't remember what I can't zoom in. I don't remember what it was what time it's happening, but I'm pretty good at like Okay, there's something in red today. This also helps when somebody needs to know

where their collard shirt is for church or something. And I can, you know, again, like zoom like picture the closet like it's on your second shelf with Mom. It's not there. Yes, it is. It's on the second shelf. There's a red sweater and then look to the left of it. Oh, here it is. This super power fails because I was like, I can picture it. It's in the house somewhere, but that's about as far as I could get. Yes, because I know I saw it, but where I could not remember. The context is sometimes lacking, but just keep going. I think you also share the superpower with Emily Renee, many other people. Scheduling is my superpower, says Emily. You're a good scheduler, aren't you? I'm a very good schedule. Er, Eileen. Let's give Eileen some kudo. She says her kids have not had a single tardy late to school for either kid in a combined seven years. Wow, that's impressive that I what? All the Tardis that she is saving I am taking. My kids have had a combined one million parties. I would say that you probably

have to have some buy in from your kids. You have to have kids who also like to be on time, not tardy, or they will undercut you here, but that's pretty impressive. I mean, mad respect to the schedule moms. Michelle says she needed a little flexing. Thanks for asking. I'm really on top of everything, going on schedule wise and having a clear thought out direction. I've had to raise my kids. That sounds pretty good with Shell. Be friends with Michelle. I have the second thing. I feel like I have a pretty good superpower of feeling pretty confident in how I want to raise my kids. The practice of it often goes completely off the rails, but I feel like having a clear thought out direction of how to raise my kids. I feel like I've got that superpower. I think I do a really good job of clicks. My oldest is applying to college right now and what he needs to be doing, and it is. I mean, it's stressful and there's a lot to Dio. We've managed to have it not be a panicked thing because I am keeping a very good schedule like okay

, today is whatever. By now you need to be pivoting to this essay and it works, although of course I'm still in charge of it and Sometimes I'm the jerk because there's essays to write. I'm just the messenger getting the blowback because it's like, Well, we don't want to do that. It's like, Well, I didn't make up that you want to go to college. I'm just trying to help you get there, you know? Take it up with the admissions counselor, please. It's interesting that, like scheduling is so not my superpower. It's in fact, my Achilles heel, and I've worked on it and I have the phone and it's supposed to pick me. Yesterday, my son had a Zoom Boy Scout meeting. I am the worst. I ran a troop, and it used to drive me crazy to deal with these moms. And now I am the mom who misses every Boy Scout meeting. So yesterday I set an alarm. His Boy Scout meeting was at 3 30. I set an alarm at 3 25. It went off. I went to get him, and I said, You've got a Boy Scout meeting. You've got to get ready for. And then I went into the bathroom, and by the time I came out of the bathroom, I completely forgot about the Boy Scout meeting. And then I got a text

at 3 40 saying, Why aren't you on the Boy Scout meeting? And then there was much wailing and gnashing of the teeth as I dragged him to the computer. I mean, I'm hopeless. Can I give you a little hint that is actually helped me with the thing that I keep forgetting these days? You just have to keep adding, What can you add? What can you take away? So my daughter needs to have a temperature check form every morning before she attends school in person, because that's how her school is doing it right now. And we forget. So first we put live in New York City. So first we put a post it note right by the elevator, saying temperature check that didn't work. Then I put a note on the coffee maker temperature check so I would see it when I was getting my coffee. That was also not sufficient. So we set up an alarm on our smart speaker to go off every weekday morning right before she leaves for school. Not alarm reminds me to do it. Amy, the alarm went off, but then by the time I went to get my kid, I had already for gotten well, that's what I'm saying. The alarm is the third reminder. It's not the only reminder. Like I have a note on the coffee maker and the alarm

. Yeah, I mean, the problem is we have Our whole front door of our house is you know, it's got you have your phone, it's got all these notes on it. But you just get inured to it after two seconds. And so you stop seeing it, right? So So just Yeah, at another fail safe. That's my superpower is adding more layers until you don't forget adding fail safe. So I think I might be ableto Lex Luther, that superpower in you because, man, I could undermine any system for scheduling. I just It's terrible. I will say, you turned me onto the phone calendar, and that helps. The other thing I do now all the time is I use reminders on my iPhone, so I just hit the side button on my iPhone. If you say to me like, let's pick up on record, you know something on Thursday, the first thing I do is I pick up my iPhone and I say Remind me on Thursday morning I'm recording with Amy at 9 30. That pops up on my phone. That helps me. But even with all the safeguards, I'm a terrible scheduler. You need a mom to follow you around a supermom with your schedule. I really dio. Indeed, that's what I would say. I need a wife

. It's like I need someone minding May. My husband's pretty good. Here's why you need for all the schedule work is worth. It is bedtime. Brady says her superpower is bedtime. I'm really good at getting my kids to bed on time with minimal shenanigans. Then I have plenty of time to watch a show with an adult beverage. I will say, As bad as I am about scheduling, I'm a bad time boss. Yeah, I don't mess with bedtime for you. Bedtime is one thing, and lights out is a second thing, right? It's like you guys are upstairs and you're you're in bed and you can read for a while. It isn't like lights out. Yeah, and I will say the pandemic has softened the ground a little bit like it used to be 7 30 upstairs, eight o'clock lights out. We have so much downtime now. I feel like the kids used to kind of have busy days and then 7 30. They would go upstairs and play eight o'clock, was in bed and then 8 30 was maybe lights out. But like they really wanted that time to play with each other, lie around and read. And now it's like that. Time is not as appealing because they've been doing that all day, So

I have definitely found that it involves a lot more. It's a lot at bedtime, has gotten a bit more chaotic, But still it's eight o'clock bedtime and I will say the darkness. I mean, it's dark at 4 30 it's been dark for four hours. It's like go to bed already. I was reminded this week of how important it is when you want your kids to get to sleep, too. Not just go to bed, but get to sleep to take the you know, the screens away. I have three teenagers, so they're you know they're doing homework online or looking at their phones or whatever, but it's true for us to I gave my son a detective novel to read over a long weekend that he didn't have school, and he does like detective novels and stuff. So we started reading it. Anyway. I go to ask him something at like, 9. 15 at night. This is a high schooler. He was sound asleep for the night in his clothes, you know, under the covers because he read five pages of a novel instead of playing, you know, on his switch, which he could have been upto one o'clock in the morning, Right? It's a very different use of your brain

somehow, and I mean, I understand bedtime is complicated for people. I know it's hard, but the rewards of well slept kids cannot be overstated. I mean, I have seen my kids. One of my kids is a Boy Scout, and so they do camp outs, and I mean, on a camp out, he gets, you know, six hours of sleep, and the next day he's a monster. And I think, like I might think, this was my riel kid. If he's just slept six hours a night every night, you know? I mean, when he gets nine hours of sleep, he's not an angel, but he's, Ah, much different kid than six hours of sleep, and I'm the same way. I mean, I can't overstate how important bedtime is, and the other big thing for me is that we went away once with a couple and their kid was running around until one o'clock in the morning and I couldn't go to sleep is a small cabin thing. I just kept thinking like I want to go to bed and that's what Chlor says. Bedtime routine. My kids were down by 7 30 then the rest of the night is me time or time with my husband. And that's

we always have a show. My husband and I, as we discussed one hour a night, we watch one show and I'm often by eight o'clock. So ready to like, get in bed with my little cup of camomile tea and watch my show. That's it's got to be silent, and sometimes now they run around until nine, and we have to go out and kind of have words with them and stuff. But it's basically by 8 30 I wanna be under a blanket on the couch watching my Netflix. It'll change. I'm the ghost of mom's future. It changes, and now my time with my spouse is in the morning because the kids can stay up later than us every night of the week. But they will also sleep until we wake from on a weekend morning. So you have your quiet time, maybe even your watch TV time. But it's at 9 a.m. Not nine PM Oh, that sounds horrifying. I don't wanna talk to anyone at 9 a.m. It's okay, Melanie says. And when you were talking about them running around in the cabin, this is a related superpower that she protects her son sleep, including nap. This could be tricky, I think, when you're with, you know, friends, family members and stuff. But

with all my kids, whatever their age is, where they got one Napa Day, at least in their crib, like it wasn't like you can't have all nap in the stroller. No nap, whatever all the time, and have a happy kids. We would do one nap in their crib, no matter what. Yeah, My sister in law modeled this in our family. My brother and his wife had kids really young, so I was 21 or whatever, and we'd be on vacation. It's like, Oh, let's did it in And it's like, No, we have to get a kid home to nap And I was always kind of, like, remember around the napping with the kid, but she's absolutely right, and I became the exact same mom like, I don't want to spend six hours in the afternoon with the kid who took a 20 minute nap. It's gonna be a nightmare for all of us. Let's just commit to the nap. It's for the greater good. It's for the greater good. All right, we'll be right back. Amy Choosing between what's best for your baby and what's best for your wallet. Never been my strong suit. Not so easy. No, I recall spending more of my infant daughter's Easter outfit than I did on my own. I mean, we got cute pictures, but still, luckily, hello, Bello is here. Toe. Lighten

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the code motherhood That's 50% off your first month at K i W I c o dot com promo code. Motherhood. Amy. So much feedback, and I really like this topic, and I wasn't expecting it from this question about people whose superpower is looking after their kids emotional well being. And for a lot of people, this was particularly meaningful because they were breaking patterns in their own family, and I think this is something this is probably a whole episode, right, which I don't think Have we really done this episode yet? I mean, it's like parenting, like differently from your own parenting. Yeah, like breaking cycles with your own parenting, I think is really interesting and something that would be a great tip. Put it on the list because I think that's a really interesting topic and can be really challenging, like when we are not parented well to create healthy families. And I always have particular admiration for people

who I know. I was raised in a very healthy, loving, emotionally intelligent family. And I do think it's easier for me to parent because of that, because I'm basically just modeling my parents parenting again, and it's going pretty well. But I have an even within my own family. I know people who had whatever the issue may have been. A parent who was absent, unavailable, for whatever reason, had struggles of their own and were not able to be a great, emotionally supportive parent. When I see people create their own families and that I'm always quite amazed by it. So let's talk about Tasha, she says that she's good at switching gears. Emotionally, I admire this, she says. You know how a three year old could go through a huge temper tantrum and then all of a sudden give you a hug and be happy. I am good at going with them to the happy emotions. Oh, I love that. But I don't want to be a Debbie Downer because I really do love that. I do think this gets harder as the kids get more functional because

, ah, three year old is extremely adorable and their emotional, you know, changeups. It's a little easier to ride the wave. I do find this harder with a 12 year old it is. But I'll tell you, what really helps is to remember that your goal is a peaceful home or a happy home or the tantrum to be over. That's your goal. That's everybody's goal. That's your kid's school, too. And if that's the goal, then there's no reason to carry over the like, Oh, now you're being nice. Oh, now you're asking nicely. I don't remember that 10 minutes ago. You're not gaining anything from that because the goal is peace sooner, and when you can remember that, then it does get a lot easier to, you know, to switch horses. Your kid is not good at regulation, and they feel bad about that. And, you know, in underlining how bad they are, regulation will not get them back to a happy state any sooner. Absolutely right. And it's something I'm working on. A. Me says. It goes against my instincts sometimes. But when I take

a deep breath and allow my Children to talk without an automatic angry mom response, then actually listen. I get further with them and like, this is the key. This is what you're saying, right? It's like you have to remember your goal. We often say, Come in under them You know that sometimes you have the instinct. When my kid comes barging Andrew's room, where are my shoes that I go, your shoot when you where did you live? You know, every time I come in over my kids, it doesn't go well. I could take a little bit of this, though, from a me that you just don't say anything. You know, I think I sometimes talk too much to not say anything is really hard, but almost always a good choice Vanessa says her superpower is being able to drop whatever she's doing it pretty much any time and give 100% enthusiastic support. When my kid communicates an interest in something or asked a complex question, this reminded me of you, Amy, with your Googling at the dinner table. That's true. Although I sometimes I do have a least one kid was like, Mom, are you even listening

to me right now? Oh, sorry, I don't always hop on it with the superpower of Vanessa, but yeah, chase their curiosity. Oh, no. Our goal is never 100% enthusiastic support whenever your kid communicates, because that's not gonna happen because a lot of what they're communicating about this fortnight and it's really boring. But I do like this idea, and I've adopted it from you our dinner table right now. And I remember this being the dinner table of my youth to, But my sister and I would talk about like celebrities and soap operas and stuff, and I remember my mom just always saying, We're not talking about that at the dinner table. We need to talk about stuff that everyone is interested in. The dinner table and finding that very annoying. But now I find with my two boys they would sit at the dinner table and talk about Fortnight and YouTube videos all day long, and I do find it very irritating to have cooked an entire dinner and then listen to the two of them, like, basically, recite YouTube videos to each other. And so I have tried. First of all, we got the table topics thing, which we've talked about a million times, which are questions

. And last night the question you could look just Google table topics. They sell it. I'll put a link in the show notes, looking at me, taking care of you. That's your superpower providing information, Amy. But last night it was, Would you go to space if you could? And we had a really interesting conversation. And why isn't their oxygen in space? And we have googling some stuff and I do find that is help, and often what I do is when it gets to Fort 90 and you to be, I say I'm going to get out of table topic and we're going to talk about this because I don't want to sit there and talk about nonsense all night at the dinner table. I have to ask, Would you go to space if you could, ah, 100% a billion million times? No, I don't want to take a one hour flight to Buffalo. Like the idea that I would go to space is the most absurd thing on Earth. It seems really not fun. I cannot imagine anything worse, but my husband, who is an engineer and a scientist, would go tomorrow like he really wants to go like he thinks about it. He's like, I really hope they get space like going

in my lifetime. He really wants to go. He has stuff to accomplish. He wants to get up there so he can like, you know, knock around a little bit. Well, he just has that massive, that gift of insane curiosity and very little anxiety and so nothing about it. It's scary to him, and everything about it is fascinating to him. And I'm like, Send me a postcard do because I'm not going. I want to give a shout out to Suze superpower because I don't have it, and this sounds like a really good superpower tohave, she says. I do not carry my kids emotional burdens. It took a while, but now I see them as opportunities for them to develop coping mechanisms and resilience. Yeah, this is a tough one, and I think it's something that a lot of us struggle with. But it is e think it's a lovely idea and something to keep in mind like that. You are not there to solve everything. Sometimes you're just there to walk alongside your kid. That could be really hard for people. We keep talking about it during these last, you know, crazy months that it's not our job to make it seem like the pandemic

isn't happening. And I I have to tell myself a lot. So I think I don't still don't really believe that. That's true. I need to make things is Mary and light and bright. It's possible for everyone. And maybe I don't Yeah, and I think I mean, I do think that one of the issues of growing up in a family like mine, where I was extremely supported, I don't mean this is a criticism of my family at all, But it is something I noticed is that when I left home. I went to college. I was pretty overcome by anxiety. I had not faced a lot of adversity. And so I do think that some of my troublesome anxiety as a 20 something was that like I hadn't faced a ton of adversity, that everything was kind of a soft landing. And suddenly I was like, kind of I felt like a little like baby sheep out among the like Scary, you know, wolves in the forest that I did not. I felt not super ready for that. Everything's a trade off, right? You're not gonna get this perfect. There's no such thing is perfect. Schavan G. Says. My superpower is talking my sensitive kid through

hard emotional time. Sometimes it's just a hug. Lots of times it's talking, knowing when he's overstimulated and generally not okay and teaching him how to deal. And this is something that a lot of people discuss this idea of, like the mom radar, like knowing when to pick up on things and how to dial into that. This is so good. It's a journey and a process, and I'm still and this is another thing, right? It changes. My kid, who used to love hugs now does not want me coming in with a hug when he's struggling, and so you have to always kind of adapt to a changing situation every time you're like I've got it, it changes a little bit on you at the same time. Holston answered this similarly. And she said she wants her kids to have an emotional toolbox and like that's the goal you can. Your eight year old, who's having a huge reaction to something, needs a hug, needs you to work it through with him sitting right next to him. But it's his toolbox, because when he's 18 or 15 or whatever

, he needs to do that by himself a little bit more. And then, of course, when he's an adult all by himself and that's the goal. So it's great to be able to know the perfect thing to say to your kid. But part of the thing to say to your kid is you know how to do this. This'd is something I teach adults and I teach public speaking, and one of the things I teach always is this idea of the toolbox, right that like you should try on like being a confident speaker, being ah, overwhelming speaker. Being an anxious speaker, we basically try on various ways of communicating. Not that you're going to suddenly put on a mask and be this new sort of person, but that you should have in your toolbox all sorts of ways of adapting. And I think sometimes people mistake that as like whatever over coddling or that you really are trying to give your kids tools. That's such a good metaphor. I think here's a good superpower that I think you and I both deploy in our homes to good use, a sense

of humor, Rebecca says. I'm good at making my teenager laugh. I used this power often to turn a tense situation around in a cranky teen into a somewhat mollified, giggly daughter again, Yeah, I mean, it's so nice to have, and it again, it's not 100%. I mean, I often have this go wrong, and I mean, I used to do comedy and clubs, and it goes wrong in the same way. Like sometimes you point to someone in the club and how you doing, sir? And he's like, I hate your face and you're like, Wow, that didn't go great, you know, And teens and Tweens and even little kids can be the same. Like sometimes my kids are in no mood for it, and I try to come in with, like, it looks like someone had a bad day. They're like, Mom, you never respect, man. You know, it works. Sometimes it doesn't work sometimes. And Amy, while we're on the topic of picking up on your kids signals, I feel we need to acknowledge the superpower that is vomit radar. Okay, Lee says. When my kids were younger, I had a really good vomit radar. I

could always tell when someone was about to puke and get them to the bathroom or at least a towel, Pam says. I was pretty good at watch something I'm trying to imagine like, what does she tune into? There's like a little like rip in the space time continuum like she hears it. Oh, no, come on. Because I had three toddlers at once. I was amazing with my vomit radar, like kids like you hear a little sound and you're like run, remember screaming at my husband be like grab that kid and just I mean, sometimes the first vomit comes out of the blue. But once a kid is vomited and you're looking for vomiting, if your vomit radar is carefully attuned, the blue light is already on and and it's very you can see it lying in wait. And so my vomit radar was great. But Elizabeth has a superpower that I never possessed. The vomit, comfort giving Supermom always makes them feel better. They could vomit on me. Never. Dad and I hold their foreheads over the toilet. This was never my superpower. I was always like I don't want to vomiting child. Near May, where you said you

have the sympathetic issue. We were talking about that with the Amy Schumer documentary about her pregnancy. I am not a sympathetic in that way. You mean a sympathetic vomiting. Which means if I see someone vomiting, I start to vomit. Yes. I don't want to say the word too much. I know. I wanted to stop saying the word in case we have sympathetic people listening right now that Yes, I do not have that so I can handle this. I mean, nobody wants to, but it doesn't cause a similar reaction in me. I guess that's my superpower. Yeah, I feel like people. Breakdown of this poop is not great for me. Blood is fine. Vomit is terrible. So it's like everyone's got a different triangle there I faint. I cut my foot pretty badly when I was with my daughter once, and I felt myself about to faint. And, like I'm gonna lie down, I'm gonna lie down here on the ground if I pass out is somebody asks you what going what's going on? Just say it's my mom. She passes out when she sees blood, but she's gonna be OK and just I'll be right back and like that's what happened. Like I passed out for a few seconds and I came to and she was standing there looking at May. That's hilarious. I do not have that problem. Alright. More when we're

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fresh hell for $10 off on now. Your guide to Mom's superheroes from the What fresh hell Podcast Calm Mom, The large see on her chest doesn't stand for catastrophe. Thesis is call Mom able to sue the bleeding toddlers with a single word ready to counsel sullen teens banned from the popular table at lunchtime with helpful insights. This'll Mom is cool, collected and there to support kids Indeed, day and night. Self care. Woman. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's a mom who knows she's no good to anyone else in her family unless she's taking care of herself. First. Self care mom can fill a bubble bath in seconds flat and sweet. Oden's beard. If you don't see her in front of a sink full of dirty dishes, it's probably because she's letting her kids watch him screens so she can finish enjoying her novel The Van Lantern to the minivan offspring. The van lantern is ready at the wheel. No late night scout speeding No. 5:30 a.m. hockey practice is too

daunting for this mom. She's got remote opening doors. Her temperature control beverage fits perfectly into her cup holder. She's revved up and ready to go bedtime mom faster than a speeding bullet when it comes to finding lost love ease at bedtime. This mom comes into her full power at 7 30 PM sharp. She's the ultimate slayer of monsters under the bed and request for just one more glass of water bounced right off of her. So don't even bother Captain Holiday. Some claim she was scratched as a child by a radioactive candy cane. But whatever the cause, Captain Holiday has never been the same. She starts stalking the halls in October, and by December she's got her home festooned from pillar to post. She's got inflatables, menorahs and that Rudolph nose thing for the front of her car. Lookout Grinches. Mary has a new hero and its captain holiday. This has been your guide to mom. Superheroes from the What? Fresh hell podcast Amy. Let's talk about moms who are good

at cheerleading and moms who are good at making memories. There's some overlap in this category. I am a Christmas morning, you know, Silly pajamas, Memory maker, like always get the same photo of them coming down the stairs. I don't care that over into the other 364 days Very well. However, I feel this is a very strong superpower of mine, sometimes to the annoyance of my entire family. I'm the like, Let's go on the hayride. I found a fun mystery house that tilts in weird ways in the town we happen to be driving through. I feel like this is my superpower, like making things fun in a way. You have the superpower of making the photo calendar for the entire family superpower, which is like hats off to you because that's not me. Well, I almost bailed this year. I'm going to say I send anything out to the family and I'm like Family calendar seems kind of crazy this year. It's gonna be just pictures selfies of us in masks. But I'm doing it anyway because that's what 2020 was. Let's at least remember it, Kerry says Schedule

master and lead cheerleader. I make this ship run. And even if my husband isn't totally aware, it makes me feel good to know my plans help us all in every way. I am also the lead spirit coordinator. I work to make the memories. I like this superpower. Yes, I get annoyed that I'm I think it isn't my superpower that I'm doing it anyway. And then I'm annoyed. Nobody is taking a turn. This'd is the mom or nobody superpower. This is many areas of these super bears content into the danger of martyrdom, right, which is like, I make it fun and no one makes it fun. And I did. I have to say, have to have a little bit of a talk with my husband that I want someone to make it fun for me, and that's his job. And he has really stepped up on that and become quite lovely at it. But it took some fairly harsh conversations in the beginning. I feel like that's a good way to word it. That's a good assignment. Yeah, for your partner. Like, I want somebody to make it fun for me because it is fair. I make all the kids birthday super fun, you know? Okay, we're quarantined. But then I'll schedule

, you know, six friends at half hour intervals to come, and I'll put up a big banner with your name, and you could take pictures with your friends from 6 ft away. Like I make it fun. I'm good at it. I like it, but someone has to be doing that for me, too. And that's kind of my husband's job. And so, you know, early on, like my birthday would come and he'd be like I got you a thing. And I was like, You know, if you'll remember, I made your birthday really fun. The three kids birthdays, remember? I put this together for your family and we did this fun outing. I'm making it fun for everybody. And I want you to put your top of your list on my three special days a year. Make it fun for May. I have made it clear to those in my household that Christmas needs to be planned a little more carefully this year and a little more ahead of time and that the CVS is really not going to have everything you're looking for the day before Christmas in terms of gift giving. Yeah, that's a good note. Take that. Note starts soon, guys. We'll see if they take it. I'm a good note giver. That might be my superpower is telling other people what to dio. I'm really good at it. We'll see if

they listen. Nicky says. We see you. We know how hard it is. Magic makers unite. There's an expression in the theater, right? A good director. You don't notice the director directing? Ah, good lighting designer. You don't notice the lights, but like they enhance the experience. But you shouldn't walk out and be like the lights were incredible in that show because the lighting Designers job is to be perfect yet invisible and the director's job to some degree to you don't want to be like, Oh, the directing was So you know you want to melt together And I think this is the problem. Sometimes of being the magic maker, right? That's like, Oh, the elves have come and festooned the home, you know, And it's not elves, it's you. We see you doing all of that work. I do think that I now at you know, my advanced age Onley right now have an appreciation for my mom. And how much did you know? I just got Christmas morning appeared. I just thought that all of the things that I just have birthday parties manifested themselves, you know, and

it's a long game because it took me an awful long time to appreciate how much work my mom did. That really helps me, though To think of it is like your mom did such a good job writer or I do such a good job that it appears effortless, Yes, and it's a memory that your kids will carry with you. And they didn't notice how good the directing was because it was so good. I like that. So if nobody notices how hard you're working, it's because you're so so good at it. Yeah, and I think you don't want it to become, like thankless, Marjorie. Like, I guess I'll just do everything and everyone else will just take advantage of me. You don't want that. Let things fall away that are not bringing joy to you, you know? I mean, I love decorating house for Christmas. I genuinely love going bonkers on that level and especially this year, where it's gonna be maybe a little depressing. And so I go overboard and the kids help for a while. And the first couple years I was like, You don't need to help and you're not helping and it's Christmas, and I kind of let go with that. I'm like, I like doing this and they put the ornaments on the tree and

it looks bonkers and they help with certain things. I've one kid who every morning wakes up and runs around it. turns on all the lights. He loves it, but I try to watch myself when I'm falling into that thing of like, I made it so special, like no one's interested in that. And if it's not giving you joy, that's where you should be getting your reward. Basically right, Jen says her superpower is taking too many pictures. She said. My husband complained when we were out pumpkin picking that I take too many pictures and I said, It's not just pictures, I'm making memories. Are you making memories? He knew one to be quiet. I am also this person. I am the annoying picture taker. But I like to have them. I like to have the Your document is what I like to do. The calendar. I like looking back. So whenever were, you know, doing anything. I tend to take a ton of pictures. I stopped. I'm like, Let me get a picture of you guys, you know, especially my extended family. I mean, spends less and less time together. And so it makes a lot of sense together and

take pictures. And my husband's grandfather just passed away and like I have so maney this my kids. Great grandfather and I have so many pictures of my kids with him because I was probably very annoying. But every time I'm together like, let's take a picture, let's take a picture. But it's such a treasure toe. Have them, you know it's worth it. It's worth it. And sometimes people goof on you for being the picture person. But just ignore those people. They're terrible, but it mean you need to have the picture. I am the picture taker, but I'm Mata calendar maker like send grandpa in ornament with the kids faces like I just don't take it to that next level. You know who does My dad. My dad is the gatherer of family memories and to Shutterfly books and stuff, and you need somebody who's superpower that is around you. You can share superpowers. That's what I'm realizing. It's like the League of Justice. You don't I'll have to have the same superpower that would be done if you all have the same superpower would be overwhelming also, let me point out something Kimberly says, that I like in this category that she says we celebrate half birthdays every year. You can also pick your things, and we've

talked about this before. My mom made amazing Halloween costumes, and that wasn't super appealing to May. But I make my kids very elaborate birthday cakes. That's my one thing. And so I don't try to do all 40 things. We don't celebrate half birthdays. We do birthdays and everybody gets to order a cake. And I make, like, pretty elaborate cakes a full sports car and, you know, the construction site with the sugary dirt and the, you know, trucks roaming around in it. And that's my thing. And I think that could be a good way to think of it to like your superpower. Your one thing. Maybe you don't decorate for the holidays, but you do birthday mornings. You always have balloons and cards and songs at the breakfast table. Those are the things your kids were going to remember. They're not gonna be like the inflatables weren't great that year. They're not going to remember it. They're going to remember the special things. But don't feel like every day, and everything has to be special because you'll go insane. Can we go back to a superpower that's really just for you and It's really worthy of recognition, Nicky says. She has super ears

when vacuuming. I could be listening to a podcast and vacuuming, and I could still hear when I vacuum up something that should not be and I could tell what it is that's a Lego that's a tiny calico critter drinking glass. That's a good superpower. I mean, we're heading into speed around with superpowers. Okay, Alicia is good at fostering creativity, imagination and passions. Nice. I like it, Haikus says. I joke that my superpower is answering challenging questions in succinct answers that air age appropriate. Can I send my kids to your house? Yeah. No, you're good at that. Amy. That's got to be one of your superpowers. Succinct answers. No. Well, maybe you're not to sink, but you're like I have some research to show you, Jennifer says, teaching her kids about nature's or superpower. There's an absolute non superpower of mine. I don't like nature. I don't wanna be in nature, and I my kids will have to just go out on their own and find nature. Rebecca says she could make a themed costumes super quickly. Last summer. My kids summer camp have theme days. My kids would never tell me about until 8 30 the night before, and she sent

them on the bus with costumes. Good for you, Rebecca. And let me tell you, that's the kind of mom that everyone looks at and they're like They must be good at everything. But no, that's just for one superpower. That's the thing. That's just your thing. Erica, Kimberly, Kourtney and Stephanie are all good at the supermom superpower of finding things. It's not lost until Mom can't find it, guys. Which means it's never lost. Never really lost. It's not the best. My husband's a little bit of a better finder. Uni, I believe it's how you would say that name is good at getting projects done, even with small kids around. Painted several large rooms in her house with a one year old and a three year old underfoot. That's a superpower. Yeah, and Kate says she is so, so, so good at dressing herself and her daughter for the exact whether conditions degree, wind, chill and humidity. I'm gonna finish strong with Lindsay. Amy Okay, Her superpower is that she doesn't have mom guilt. I just heard too many moms who are amazing be so hard on themselves. Before I had my son and I made the decision, I wouldn't think negatively of myself as a mother. I'm not perfect. But I recently had a big realize ation that in

2020 being a good mom is being set up in such a way as to involve feeling guilty and I refuse to feel guilty anymore. I don't know if it's new for 2020 but I love the simple refusal to take part. I think that's a great superpower. And unlike a lot of these superpowers, I'm not going out in nature. And I'm not gonna get good at finding things. Will you do go up in the backyard? That's not nature, though. Like you're not wandering. I don't wanna be in the woods. I don't wanna like jump in a stream. I'm not friends with nature. I don't want animals to be around just fresh air in close proximity to your dwelling place. You like drinking? Anto Cook well wrapped up like a Danish baby is not being in nature. That's just being like on my deck, okay? I mean, I don't wanna, like, explore nature with my Children. I just want to understand. Yeah, I area. It's important clarification, but I do think this mom guilt one is such a good one. And guys, I hope everyone takes something from this episode, which is we should be patting ourselves on the back more often, and we should be

shouting our superpowers a little bit more often. And we should also be asking the people we know to observe and be nice about our Superman. Clark Kent didn't get thanked very often for all the wonderful things Superman did, but he knew that those were great things. Yeah, and also like, Let's take that metaphor to a new level, Amy, and just say we're not Clark Kent. Everyone knows where the mom and like we should get a few props for it. Come on, people. Wonder Woman's plane was invisible. That was the point that it was still very cool. Yes, E don't know what happened metaphor at the end of me, but I'm saying everyone should get props for being a supermom. She wasn't like, Look at my cool playing. Her plane was invisible, but it was still really cool. She didn't need for people to see it to know that it was cool. I feel it. I feel it. I know where you're going. Alright, moms, keep up your superpowers. We see you. We think you're awesome and we will talk to you next week. Hang in there, guys.

What's Your Mom Superpower?
What's Your Mom Superpower?
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