The Mental Health Podcast

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by Iriketoma Favour
February 18th 2021
Today's Episode talks about the importance of being the kinder/accommodating individual. Talks about Eliminating self-doubt/Fear, Contentment and Who to live a life worth of emulation.
Yeah. Hello everyone. Hello Africa I had the Nigeria, Welcome back to the show. All of our mental health. I'm your host again, The favorite online therapist. First of all I want to apologize for not really bringing new content. I've been like she was busy but now now now now I am less occupied and I just sort of jumping something positive here for you. So first of all say pre story I believe I really, I really feel you guys should really learn from this lesson well. So I think yesterday I went out and I was in the public transport Ation public transport rather. So there was this lady I saw I saw her coming inside the very cool I when I saw how my impression about how this lady will be like the kind of damning person that does not really have regard for people and like they are so over theirselves. So I just wanted to test if I had the wrong impression about her.

Then I greeted her surprisingly, she answered me then I felt bad. I was like why would I judge this person so easily So well on our way on are we going or we're going the guy, the driver stops for this set of persons. A man And I think about 6-7 year old boy. Well this guy, the man has cataracts, he was honestly really looking on Cape but I don't really think it's his fault, it's just the situation he found himself. So as soon as I wasn't really concentrating on what was happening because I was on my phone and then the lady just shouted like why would you stop, why would you allow them enter country the way can't you see how how how cast is looking please please please please I want to calm down. It's quickly, quickly, quickly really done on me. I was like I was right again and this lady was really how I perceived her to be. It's honestly very unfair because you don't really know.

You don't really know. There's some there are actually things can actually change at any point in our lives. If you feel like you are very rich you won't be in a public transportation with us are still upcoming You get So I really feel like we should not really look down on anybody regardless of our status regardless of where we are regardless of who we are, where we're from or anything at all because things can change. You can actually be in the same situation you would never know. So we really need to learn how to, how to approach people. Really need to learn how our body language really learned to be. We really really really need to be accommodating to be hospitable to be kind be nice. We're already looking at the fact that the person is looking to attack it's you that will be the good one and actually help that person. It possibly help the person pay is or our transportation fare.

I really really honestly felt felt bad and I really want to share what I noticed that day. So it's just and advice to us listening, we should not really look down on anybody because situations can change at any point in our lives. Okay, so back to the show today. So well today I'll be talking about three things you can do today to kick away fear and self doubt. So you can get confident. You need to do those amazing things you want. Well, there are so many people you know doing amazing, amazing things that you know for a fact you are cut people off you wish and hope and you dream but none of that will do any good until you actively begin doing something in line with this wish, hope or dream kicking out of self doubt, fear and lack of confidence is the very first step Now, how does self doubt?

Fear and lack of confidence limits you one makes you pass on opportunities, keeps you in your comfort zone where you aren't doing anything exceptional, keeps you small, sad and watch your dreams fade away, it causes you to make mistakes because well you do not trust yourself. Now, how can you kick start start kicking against those? Like start kicking against these limitations today? No, the first step is traced. The origin was it for someone who bullied or who was destructively critical of us in the past? Do you make a mistake that cost it? Well realized that whatever happened to give rise to this fear of self doubt is a standalone event in your life that can be overcome. Now actually served this question number two, what's what's the worst that can happen If I take this step?

Now answer this question objectively, you will literally die. Even if your mind tells you you would, let's say you think you fail or make an ass of yourself then you ask yourself again. Even if this happened, what is worse that can happen when we lay bed, worse case scenario we see it is not really as deep and scary as we may think now take action. Do make a list of all the things you would love to do haven't been able to do so because of fear and self doubt number to rearrange this list for most scary, too scary. Number three starts from the bottom and do the least thing to gain. But once you are able to successfully do all this, your confidence grows a bit, giving you the boost, need to do another. The more you accomplish certain things in your life, the higher your confidence now I would really want to talk to you about something today and well it's basically, I don't know if people know but there's really this dimension of you that helps people do more than less.

This really becomes the entry points to impact. When you operate in this dimension, inspiration becomes more than arrested you. It literally forms a core in your spirit. When you talk, someone gets motivated, when you dress someone gets inspired, but when you project your thoughts, someone becomes ginger, there's something in you professionally causes a volcanic like eruption in people Now. I want to really, really tell you for what um I want to share with you before rather what fear saved up those self esteem and all deafness of inadequacy has caused me in the past. Well, the first one was I I found myself in a dead end relationships. I really knew, I honestly really knew I had no business being in because joseph I knew I wasn't proud of.

Yeah, because I doubted that I could do better. And also I was really afraid of being alone. That was like a very, very big mistake I made. Well, I allowed myself to be paid less much than I deserve because I lacked the confidence to speak out and asked my do people who spoke up got big happy, but I didn't, I was scared zero confidence. So I made do and I was so filled resentment, a terrible mistake again. Well, I wasted so many years had in my dreams and desires because I adopted myself and I was afraid to step into the limelight. I feel I wasn't pretty or knowledgeable enough. I felt inadequate and not good enough. That's another big mistake, but I lost a whole lot of opportunities that I cannot even start counting if the HR people I would have met one on one but I just couldn't because I was had this creepy feeling of inadequacy even till today still it still hurts me because I really know where I would have been by now.

Another table mistakes I've made in my life. I wasted so many emotions resenting people who were doing things I wanted to do but I just couldn't find the confidence to do them. This made me move when you fire away from. People have really gotten immense value from I know that mistake yeah saved out. I am not good you know syndrome and lack of confidence are all gangs of bandits, the robe of the robots of so many precious things but I want to execute what are they taking from you? It's really really something to deliberate on. Nothing I would like to share is recognized and also acknowledge that no, everybody is Hugh people be like people people be like if I if I if you go through half of what I've gone through in my life, you know that this thing I'm going this thing you're going through is nothing.

Stop mining jerry, you're not the first person to have a broken marriage. See me that my marriage are broken up since have I died. People should really stop saying things like this to other people. You went through something and you overcame it doesn't really mean someone else would be able to do so easily and overcome the same thing you actually did. We are all different. Our tolerance, mental strength, resilience level pain, trash hold are all different. Being considerate of people because considerate of people rather help them build their mental strength and resilience so that they can bounce back from those challenges and grow from there judging someone for crumbling under a weight of something you survived from. It's not really fair. It's kind of like dropping 25 kg bag of rice on the head of the head of a person who wears like 100 kg and dropping the same bag of rice on the head of someone who wears like 55 kg.

Then you imagine you're judging the person who weighs 55 kg for falling down on that with of the bag of rice. That would really be unfair and unjust. Although many people will do like appearing strong, praying hard, maybe really mentally fragile now using your own experience and the way you handled them to judge other people. Makes us insensitive and psychologically are valuable, unavailable rather to give our own support to these people that really need us. Many people hide their pain and this integrates in silence because they feel like because of their pains and hot there's no richly approved standard of pain. I don't know if you really get somewhere, I'm trying to say someone we have told them is it this small thing that happened to you that you are reacting like this, We all react differently to different situations, Just as we see things differently and experience the world differently.

Let us learn to allow people be and feel themselves as we try ourselves to help them overcome the pain they feel Well. Most importantly know when to get professional help, when you are going through a lot of pain. Like it really helps a whole hill lot. It's not really everything you can't handle by yourself. You need help, you need people around and not just people you should have people that are willing to listen to your paint and not really judge you are the slightest thing. Well I said plenty, I've said a lot today, I've said so much today. I really hope you relate with this. I really hope you start building and developing a character that is actually what ammunition Okay, learn to be grateful, learns to be appreciative today. Like the weather here Nigeria or the weather here in Delta State is like really, really quite cold.

So what this morning around I think 5:30 I woke up and I went outside to do one or two things and the code was like really, really very, very crazy. I had to go inside and as soon as I stepped inside the warm, it's like it's a city, I just entered heaven and then something came up and something just pinched me and I was like now imagine those persons that are living on that bridge, Imagine those persons that don't really have a place to stay. Imagine those homeless people, how would they be hoping in this weather And it's not really conducive if you have a lot to spare always help people don't look down on anything because situations can change at any time. That person you're looking down on might be your savior tomorrow. You just don't know who God uses. Don't always look down on anybody situation because it can always change at any point in time. Always be grateful when you wake up in the morning, always be thankful God I am so thankful for the gift of life.

I am thank you for everything I have and I can't afford have a place to sleep. There's one person's, they don't have parents who always appreciate your parents, even if it's very little and that little you think you may have their orders are really, really craving to have that. There's one person, they don't have parents, They struggle, they struggle to make sure they can eat the show to make sure they have very good accommodation. So while the little you have always be grateful, always be thankful and always be contented with what you have. You may not really have it now, but with hard work and consistency you will be able to get to that point. You want to Yeah, it may be little to you right now, but to the next person that's all they ever want. So always try and live a life that is worth of ammunition. God bless. Also have a nice day ahead. See you soon. Bye. Mm.

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