Disabled Girls Who Lift

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E53: Doing Your Own Research

September 6th 2021
On today’s episode we dive deep into our feels about living and working in what seems like the apocalypse, what doing your own research when it comes to COVID-19 actually means (spoiler alerts, it’s n... More
this is disabled girls who lift. We are reclaiming what's rightfully ours one podcast at a time? It's mary beth Chloe and Marcia bringing you the thoughts and unpopular topics to get you out of that. A bliss comfort zone. Mhm Okay, well hello, welcome back to yet another episode of disabled girls who lift thank you for being here. Also quick shout out, thank you to the patrons giving to us monthly to help us cover all of these zoom costs and fees and whatnot overhead bss because you know, this is a passion project. We're just doing this for community and for you Also, it's amazing when the community gives back. So if you're interested in our Patreon, it's patreon dot com slash disabled girls who lift and for every episode we do upload a little bonus content video just to give you something fun there and scare away stay in shape.

This is Marsha sitting on Seminole tribe land in south florida. She, they, hey, it's mary beth from or I'm currently sitting on southern coyote and mojave land in las Vegas. Originally living in northern California, but I'm Vegas visiting my mother. But yeah, I mean it's just the two of us today in a while, just the two of us linking, making if we try just the two, we needed some intro music. Oh, oh, you know, so I know we were in general had the idea of talking about this whole, do your own research that people love to say, especially now when it comes to the vaccine, when it comes to lifting, Even when it comes to mental health to, you know, people say get help, but what does it mean? But before we even get to that, you know, we could check in and spit a little bit, see how mary beth is doing.

Mary beth swirled. Yeah. What's funny is I feel like we're kind of on the same boat, but not really is a lot of people since nothing has changed socially in the last year to covid going on. Um But what's good is like my industry field has changed when it comes to work. I used to work in concert, you know, welcoming thousands of people into a venue and then that getting shut down in the middle of covert. I was like, hell no, am I not putting myself for the students or the staff at risk. Um but I don't have a choice later, did sales for a bit and now I'm like back in the wine industry which has its perks but also is just weird in the midst of like ship going on in the world. Um it's definitely like a weird privilege in that industry to just worry about wine and when you're going to get the next shipment for restaurants that happened to be open during this time, you know?

Yeah, no, I get that vibe. I feel like that. I mean I'm going to say like at least three out of seven days in the week. Like I'm over here just worried about my stupid little laundry, right? And I'm just like over here worried about waking up on time and fixing my stupid little lunch. And meanwhile like the world is literally on fire. It is a weird, a very weird place to be. And it's like you're kind of moving along. But it's like mm hmm. What am I doing? What's happening here? Like it feels good because I feel like I'm at a much better place like financially and just more consistent. So that was a scary time. You know, everybody had a difference in the savings. Like take a few steps back now. I'm a little I'm a few steps forward. But does it feel good doing the work that I'm doing? Um you know, travel across the world is hard yet. We've got international shipments of wine coming into the U. S. But people can't, you know, it feels weird.

It feels weird. So yeah, that's just the balanced on the head balancing games. And then you I mean like you've been fairly wide open for physical therapy and in the daycare that stopped for a little bit. Yeah. It's an interesting time for me now because even though Covid is ramping up everything that I'm doing is not ramping down if that makes sense? Because last year when everything changed, it was like, all right, all the things I'm doing in person cut it. You know, like I rearrange the way I did things I closed that cash jim. I don't see adults in person anymore. I was going to people's houses for a little bit. That's right, you're traveling for a little bit. Um then I started doing kids houses more because I could get paid through insurance and that's more consistent but then everything kind of picked up again so like I'm as busy like busier than I've ever been, but at the same time every week it's like, oh we have to cancel because um we tested positive, you know like every week it's something or the people that work for me and I'm like, oh I can't come in today, I have to make sure I don't have covid like yeah, and then you have to pick up the shift like and what if you get stuck on freaking would, but It's always there.

So I've been running, it's like, it's a very strange place because I've been the busiest I've ever been. Like I'm literally in five different places in one day just driving around from like 8-8-7. I get home. I still got to do like some paperwork or whatever. But then at the same time like our ICUs are filled and you know, there's other things going on like the earthquake in Haiti which is like affected where my family is from, but I don't have personally contact them. So I don't know like on a personal level how that feels but I do know that my house is affected because you know, my partners in the military and that's his area. So he's been hoofing it to work because of that and everyone is just so busy. But then, you know, every time you check in and like stop and check in with the world, it's like, oh this is on fire now. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. It's a really good place to be. And on top of that, just like with news and social media traveling so quickly, it's like, oh that's on fire yesterday, this is on fire today and that's got an earthquake.

The next thing, you know, we just move on to the next like disastrous event and it's not why is this new normal. It's very strange. It's very strange. So like on one hand, I'm pretty proud of myself in being as busy as I am, but still taking time for my body. Like I've been pretty consistent. I was working out. Um and like I've been doing my acupuncture weekly and like physically feeling better because of both of those things with at the same time when I like get out of my bubble of like running through what I have to run through and check in with what's going on. I'm like ship. Yeah. Yeah. And that you're just a reminder that you're doing a damn good job, like you're keeping it together for your business and the people, like all of your clients probably don't even realize what's going on in your crazy world. What is it? How many assistants have like quit in the last month two months three months. And they don't they don't realize it because you're going with your smile.

You're like let's do this. No no no I I tell them that all the time I held my gosh I'm so sorry this night. Might listen your mess. I messed with all the mess. It's a pandemic. Like we're gonna be an extra mess. The world's on fire. Don't worry about it. We're just gonna do what we have to do. So that's as far as they know. So yeah so you said it's how to close down a few times because someone tested positive and then what's the protocol now? Everybody gets tested you. Quarantine for two weeks or no not even because I mean on a personal level I test my test myself when I've been exposed. I have like the at home test kits that supposedly you should be able to detect things. Um So I do that for myself. But I don't know I required no I don't know who messed around in the C. D. C. But the rules they've got that they keep changing and whatnot are just on because last year at the peak of Covid if somebody had a health care facility tested positive everyone had to be tested.

Yeah which makes sense. It's not like that anymore you only need to test, yeah you don't need to test if you have symptoms. So mind you, I'm just at a medical daycare. I'm not in like a hospital, like in terms of like exposure, you could, you could be okay. Like I've been fine, right? Like wash my hands. I don't take my mask off. I washed the little kids hands before we do things like I wiped them. I wipe what we play with, you know, like over here. No, they think it's funny because they see everyone else doing it. Kids want to mimic anyway. So they're just like, yeah, they don't care. Um, so you're, it's not as bad, but in a hospital setting where you're like people on breathing treatments, tubes and like, and you're like head to toe and things you can like put on an armor like, and then you'll find out a week later. Oh yeah, that patient turned out to be positive. But you know, don't worry about unless you have symptoms like that's ridiculous.

But then, well you said personally. But then what about others that like other, just helpers, They're not doing the same thing. Um, how I test myself or like the level of german folk Nous, nah, just how you touch yourself and then if somebody, um, test positive in, in your area, right? Yeah. No, I just wasn't myself weekly. That's just what I've been doing lately. So I pretty much on average have an exposure to somebody once a week. Mm hmm. And then the vaccinations are going to start being required pretty soon. Yeah, They didn't waste any time making announcements. So we'll see what, what else comes down. They started with saying nursing homes and it's not anything official yet. But it's out there. So people are going to start making moves like owners of facilities and they have at the place I have this contract with which has started like a whole thing of people who are angry and what not.

And it's just a shame because it's like, yeah, we are health care workers. Like we're supposed to be doing science out here. Yeah. What's good? Like y'all sending weird instagram videos and like backwards tick talks like, come on, we went to school and we learn things like, come on. What are we doing right now? No. Seriously? And like where are you getting that information from? Yeah. It's so weird how so many different websites and organizations have sprouted since Covid claiming that they're experts. Yeah. Everybody is an expert in virology now and immune systems in the Middle East and foreign relations, right? Like everyone's an expert all of a sudden and you know what happened in Afghanistan, but you are not the hair. Yeah. Like damn. Come on show on that. So, you know, But it must be stressful.

And like you probably feel really happy and comfortable that vaccinations are being required. Oh well people 16 and up. Yeah. It's, everybody feels that way in south florida, definitely not, definitely not. And it's kind of like criminal tribunal on Seminole tribe plan. Yeah. I don't really understand the distinction. Like it's okay to be skeptical but it's not okay to keep looking for things that like are the answer you're looking for. Like that's something else. It's okay to be like, I don't trust this because we have a right to not trust the government. Like the government is not God right? Like they've done some sucked up ship. Like you have a right to be like, I don't know. You know, there's even people that are older from other countries where when they grew up the polio vaccine gave people polio right? Like that's real. You know, there's nothing wrong with being like, I don't know this thing happened to me and that still hurts. You know, like we still talk about that like fine. But then you send me things that are like, oh look this lady with a PhD said the vaccines makes people harder to recover him like PhD and what, who is she?

I don't, why does this random matter to me? Yeah. And it's all in the numbers like, okay, Covid cases have still, it's not like they've been going up dramatically compared to back in the days. But if you put the side by side of who's in the hospital with covid vaccinated versus unvaccinated. Who like all the deaths due to covid. What was it like 93% of them have been people who have been unvaccinated and those who do test positive and were vaccinated, they like hell within a week or less. Like their symptoms are not as bad. You can still get it, but that's saving your life, that's saving your family's life wherever you live with. And people of color tend to have to live in a much larger health holds more cabinet areas, more likely to take public transportation. Like yeah, going to school, everyone's been going to work back to work that hasn't started, but that hasn't stopped for a lot of people definitely florida florida's back to school florida is even the governor wants to, I don't know what's changed since the last time I checked but he wants to remove any funding from schools that require masks to be worn.

Oh yeah, I heard that but biden trying to put a stop on it. Yeah, because we literally have ICUs that awful. Including Children's hospitals. Like my dude, what are you looking nasty power play Like it is a baby, you'll get, you'll get higher ratings as a governor in your state. But who are you actually protecting if your whole state is gonna freaking die? It's pretty bad. So you know, he's very anti mask and anti this and that. But yet they're pushing the treatment the covid antibody treatment. If you already test positive, you can get this shot right? It's like recently approved. I don't know FDA approved or just emergency use approved. But I mean if you look into it, that same company gave him money. So it's like that's why you have to pay attention to who's sharing information and for what purpose. So he's pushing that but he's not pushing the vaccine because he's not directly benefiting from the vaccine when it comes to the vaccine, the only thing he was trying to push was public the supermarket being the only distributor because Publix gave him money.

Might as well push like Thailand old person like what the heck? Or incubators like who's who's benefiting off into like what's that? That's that's what I don't trust the government. But when they come to giving out free vaccines nationwide, not only two doses but even three doses per person now like like for free ain't nobody got to pay for that. Um You know that doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah. And that's kind of what I wanted to talk about. Like doing your own research and understanding what where information comes from because it's really easy to get stuck in like circle jerks of people that are saying whatever you believe in already and just confirming it. It's really easy and you have no perspective of things like me saying fuck Rhonda scientists and everything he stands for is separate from me saying scientists created a vaccine and I believe in it right?

Like those are two different things. An elected official versus the science doing science. You can't relate the two they're unrelated. He didn't make the no no like you know what I mean? So it's like people have no levels to their thinking. It's like I don't trust the government. Okay me either. Yeah. Well I mean that and then whatever. What's his? I don't even remember his name from the C. D. C. President. I don't know. They're saying that he was like oh my God what's his name? Short got gray hair Fauci how to thank you dr Anthony about you. They're saying that everything that he said was a bunch of Bs because they kept going back and forth on whether to wear masks or double mask or no mask. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like you don't understand how your government works right? Like C. D. C. Is not the FDA and the FDA is not your elected officials right? Like these are all separate things. So you're making an opinion based on like like you you forget that in an administration like we started the pandemic under trump and his administration is very removed climate change from all websites right?

Like oh remove this, remove that. So any organization that could be influenced by him would be right. Like that's okay to say that that's fine. You can say those kind of things that's fine. But that's where doing your real research comes into play and you can find out these things for yourself and answer those questions that's like where you have to draw the line. It's like pretty trash to just say I don't trust the government but you trust Karen in a facebook group that thinks essential oils cure ear infection. Like what are you doing? Like what are you doing? People are taking horse drugs right now. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. People are literally taking horse drugs and it's like where do you draw the line? Like okay there's some anti-vaxxers and you know what y'all dumbstruck but you know what I commend you for going all the way right? Like they homeschool their kids their kids don't go to school like damn. At least you're consistent dog like at least.

But the people that are anti vax or code vaccine just your kids not get their mmr like they didn't get their measles mumps and rubella. Like didn't you get the manage as fixing to stand a college dorm. Where do you draw the line? Well there are some that like go all the way and have never given there. I mean you know I didn't take I didn't get a flu shot until last year but but everything else that was required like tv. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah get your tv thing every year you do what you gotta do because that's required and you've never questioned that because nobody told you the question it but now that there are people out here questioning things, you're like oh well this person that I like said this. So like, come on. But what you're saying too is like that real research is at your fingertips. You don't have to rely on a 12th Tiktok or 60 seconds, like video on instagram to get your information right.

Like you go to government webs or with like, so um, in the like the frame of this covid stuff and doing your own research, like it's not facebook group, like it's not a Tiktok, it's not even news articles because even news articles will have their sway, right? Like New York Times articles different than a Fox news article. And you can't deny that if you say something opposite from that just to stop, just be given. Yeah, sometimes sometimes all they do is source another article. Exactly. And so you can read whatever you want to read, but your brain is amazing. It could filter out and decide is this worth something or is it not worth something? And then okay, who wrote this? Okay, what would they benefit from me agreeing with them? How, how would it hurt them if I disagreed with them? What are their sources? Do they have actual sources and you scroll down at the bottom of the art at the article. Are there other things they're referencing or they just talking out of their assets? Is this is this something they should even be talking about, right?

Like people that will send a video like oh this lady's a PhD and she said this right? What I said earlier. Okay um PhD in what you got a PhD in any PhD in? What is a virology? Is she an immunologist? Why? Why do we care? That's not that's not anything by itself. And then so that's the first step is understanding. When you consume something you can decide whether it's worth consuming. Like you don't take everything at face value. Trust nobody don't even trust me. Don't trust yourself. Trust no one like that's how you have to view this. It's like come on being skeptical is a healthy thing that that is what drives science is being skeptical is asking questions. There's nothing wrong with that. Um So besides that what you as a person could do is go on something like pub med or research gate. And you could literally just go in the search bar just like you use google and put covid vaccine and see what pops up.

You could even use the filter free free articles only because not all articles are free that's fine. You can do that and you can just scroll through you can read the headlines, see which one sounds interesting to you or something, you can understand, you click that when you click that there's an abstract which is like main idea T. L. D. R. Right? If that makes sense to you you can click the actual article and when you go to the article that have an introduction this is what we're studying. They have the part where they actually talk about what they did. You can skip that part if you want to you can scroll down to the discussion and they tell you this is why our research studies stuck and this is what we think about it. And this is the difference in reading actual peer reviewed research article versus a news article right? A news article is never going to tell you at the bottom. So this is where I was lacking and this is what I think about it. This is what we could do in the future. They're not going to tell you that. No they don't even correct themselves when they realize they're wrong unless their company forces. Yes so this is where the differences. So if you go to the bottom of these research articles they'll be like oh we were limited.

We only tested 500 people right or it's like I read one one article today because I asked myself the question okay if I could still get infected while I have the vaccine why is the vaccine worth it? Right. That's fine. You can ask that question is nothing wrong with thinking that because like I just don't get it. Why do I give a ship? Right so it's like you know what you might not know this word but it's like viral load. Like how much of the actual virus did you get it? It's not black and white. There's levels like if I cough on you once versus coffee on you five times it's different. Go down. You know, like it's more germs. That's it. Right? So you might not know that word. That's fine. You might not know the word. That's fine. So I looked up viral load. Covid vaccine, right? And then I found an article. It's like getting the vaccine reduces your viral load. I'm like, all right. So I look at it every idea and it's like, oh, it looks like people that had, it had less of the basically like less germs, you know, and they recovered quicker. I'm like, all right. That makes sense. I scroll down to the discussion. It's like, well, this study is limited because the people who got the vaccine might behave differently than the people who did it.

I'm like, that's a fair point, right? Behave how like in advance to getting sick. No, and how they view the pandemic. If you're somebody that's fine with getting the vaccine, then you might also be somebody constantly washing your hands constantly wearing a mess. So maybe those things also reduce the viral load. Maybe it's all of them together. Yeah. And so it'll be there right there like, oh, this could be, you know, we could be wrong about this. We think we might be right about this and in the future. This is what people should look up. And that's how you get real information is looking at that when you read a news article. So let's say you go on New york times or something, right? Or like a very democratic like left wing, whatever bullshit, right. If you go on that, they'll take that same article and say what they'll say, oh, if you get the vaccine less chance of carrying a heavy virus, the end. That's all they would say. You went on Fox News and they referenced the same article. What would they say? The vaccine doesn't make a difference if you wash your hands, right, the same information.

So that's what I mean. Like you have to see who's who's telling you what and what do they gain? Because they're reading information and interpret it for you because they think you're sucking stupid and you're not and not everybody is telling the whole story exactly like they think you're an idiot. They could sell what they want to sell. Like stop letting these people fool you. And technically they're not saying anything wrong. But they are like they have this influence over mass groups of people in the United States or the world even especially those, you know, following that same party. Yeah, putting their lives at risk. You know, it's not even funny anymore. I don't care if you're Republican, Democratic and we're in the same room um like what I care about is whether or not your protector for the next 10 2050 years and I am too, Yeah, It's pretty wild world we live in. So obviously there's just absolute conspiracy theorists out there and they're just stupid.

But yeah, that's interesting. And it makes sense. I mean when you even said like one cough versus for is like, what's the difference? You still cough on me and you tested positive. I can still catch it. But a viral load means like you would essentially heal or recover a lot quicker because like the virus, uh, you know, I like to reference Star Wars, like Star Wars, right? What do they call the little things that make you a jetty and if you're stronger, you have more of them. I can't do anything right now. But the more of the little organisms I forgot to start with. And I am, Yeah, I don't know. It's so funny though. Or like, I mean all the concerts that are going on, all everybody's wearing a mask or is required to, you know, like one person who is infected with COVID vs 20,000 people or even half of those people who are infected with covid. That's a much larger viral load in your exposure.

And typically a lot of those people, you know, you don't know if they're vaccinated unvaccinated Wearing masks have traveled the world in the last seven days or a year in the middle of a concert was the last time you washed your hands. I mean the concerts get, we're making, I saw a lot of concerts and I was like, whoa, I don't know. But then I saw after that supposedly some of them had acts for like vaccine passes and that kind of thing. So I don't really know what's going on there in that arena. But yeah, I mean some are, some aren't, it really depends on who's running that organization. Like, so ours is connected to a university. It's literally on a university campus, um where I used to work. And so there's precedent over like, okay, CDC sets the guidelines and the state does and the city does, but university property is university property. They're connected to the state. And so all the concerts that were happening since they're run by this Bay Area company, another Planet.

They required um, vaccinations and uh, covid symptoms. So like, uh, you know, they checked out the door. Yeah. Quite a questionnaire. Um, and baby. Exactly. Well, so they check a negative covid tests, like they have to show proof of a negative covid test in the last two weeks. So that's their protocol. They started concerts in august by the beginning of this month. Um, but the university, they're doing graduations in the next week. They're not requiring anything and people are traveling from all over the world to watch their kids graduate. They haven't graduated, They don't require math. Like you're not requiring masks, but it's 2000 people, you're feeling in a stadium 10,000 another outdoors But you're sitting right next to like you don't have any space. This is me.

And this is somebody like a football from europe. Somebody else from Korea. Somebody else from Los Angeles. Like, but that's the chance we'll call. You know? So that's what I hate is like there's no consistency, not just like and you're going to the same venue and you're putting like all of the staff at risk. All the faculty and what shut down the school again. You know, I don't like that. And people and then there are people like all these vaccine passports are terrible. And it's like, okay again, where do you draw the line who came up with that? Who came up with that being the line that was unacceptable. Like if you don't want to get the vaccine, there are consequences. Be a big be a big big boy or whatever you are suck it up. Like what? Be a big person. Come on. Don't like that makes no sense to me. That's why I said, I can't stand anti-vaxxers. But at least they commit, right? They are against vaccines period.

Their kids don't go to the school because you're not allowed to. Yeah. At least there are others that just want to enjoy a beer at a bar or I shouldn't have to show my vaccine to go to this concert why you made a choice? The choice has consequences. Mm hmm. I like that though. I like that. Yeah. I don't get that. You can't have your cake and eat it too. But that's the thing. It's just you're just not being allowed to enter their premises or private premises or even public. But versus like, you know, everything else that has financial consequences. Like getting a ticket if you're not wearing a seat belt um, for your protection or getting a ticket for literally anything doing anything illegally. Uh, this is the society. You're still not getting fined. Yeah. Nobody's protesting about city rules for your grass. Not being allowed to be longer than 4".

Right? Yeah. Well, I mean if if this were anything else, like in another country, Um, not only would you probably get fined $2,000 for it. Like those people are printing fake COVID cards as if they're like fake driver's licenses. They're Americans selling them to Canadians. So Canada find them. I think it was like $40,000 and I think they had spend time in Canadian jail. Um, like you know, America is not gonna do anything about it because that's illegal. And in another country or if you're doing literally anything else like getting married for being gay or doing something against that country, I believe you get killed like point blank period there. Those are the consequences. Those are real consequences that you should fear. Yeah. Not being able to get a beer or go to a concert. Your freedom.

Yeah. They're really real freedoms that are being taken away? But this is the one you're worried about. Yes. This is what you're worried about it. Don't make no damn sense. That is such a good perspective. I don't even think about it that way to my freedoms. My freedom. Like yeah, your freedom to have a choice and your freedom to deal with the consequences. Like there are people that are literally in life or death situation with their choices. You are not or not even for their choices for just living. There are some things about your identity that you can't change and you, you know, pay those consequences too versus your personal choice. It's rough. It's rough out here. It's not a high degree. I know this is frustrating and sometimes, you know, heads explode and they turn into um, they don't don't even think they turn into debates just like a fight for our own well being. How do we like Yeah.

And you being in like a healthcare industry, how do you like get back and just like breathe and say okay, but everything's gonna be okay for you for your sake for your client's sake, when things are going haywire, like say people don't want to get vaccine even after their mandated for that industry. Like um no, like how do you take care of yourself? It's not great. Um Yeah, I mean, I know people love to say like, oh, you need help talk to somebody but like what does that actually mean? Right? Like what does that do? What does it mean? Or you know therapy is good for everyone. It's like okay then what does that actually mean? So I don't know when a person in a personal sense like those are things that were always seen and nothing that I felt like actionable from it. If that makes sense. Just like people saying do your research. Like what does it mean? Um but then I started listening to a podcast, you know podcast make a difference.

So I hope that's what we're doing. But anyways, nice to listen to this podcast called Therapy for Black girls. And then she has some episodes on there, it's like all over the place. It's all sorts of things. It's actually really good podcasts. I would 10 out of 10 to recommend. You don't even have to be black. But obviously it's four black girls. Um I don't even have to be a girl. So um they talk about tons of things. They talk about like religion, like african religions. They talk about tarot card reading and talk about, you know black women in reality shows. Like everything. Yeah. Um Black women in the olympics. Like everything. So obviously when it comes to that then you get to see like she's she's a therapist and she talks to other therapist. Then you get to understand like oh that's what a therapist sounds like. And those are the things they talk about. Mm like because to me, I never even understood what that meant. Like I like that concept meant nothing to me. Like I tried a therapist once. I didn't really like her. And then I gave up on it. You didn't really mean anything to me.

But I wasn't listening to that podcast. I'm like, oh, okay. These are the uh, these are the kind of conversations that they have and that I could be having to. And then, you know, of course she has a couple of episodes. I'm like, okay, you want to find your own therapist. These are the questions you should ask. So after listening to a couple of those, I'm like, all right, maybe I can do this. And then I went on the website and then I went as a directory or whatever. And then I found somebody. I just started, wow, that's great. That's great. Podcast can really change your life. But then also recognizing that there is a human behind that therapist. There's a human behind that license. You don't have to just talk about your feelings, your history, your past. You can talk about literally anything. Um, and then get down to the root of the problem through that. Yeah, I mean, all of it entered. Yeah. Even like I'll give you an example. There was an episode on there about like menstruation and like periods and pregnancy, right?

And it's like just small things that you don't realize, like shape your life. I'm like, oh, that's what therapy could help me figure out, right? Like it's like they said something to the effect of like, you go from Maybe 10, 12, whatever age you had your first period, right? Like you go from being embarrassed about your period shamed about your period, right? Then you get to high school and it's like Don't get pregnant, you better not get pregnant and then you hit your 20's. Where's the baby when you're having a baby, Right? And that's just like one thread of your life. If you have a uterus, there's another ship going. Yeah. You don't realize how that like one thing yeah, changes the way that you like, as you're growing up, trying to understand your body in this world sucks you up. And then on top of that, as you still continue aging and progressing with your life and your sexuality. Like you still are like, you are asked all these questions as a 20 year old and as a 40 50 year old, Wait, you're still sexually sexually active. What you're not on menopause, Why are you having Children all these questions to like police the woman's body.

Yeah. So just 10 to 70 You don't even realize like you're just trying to do your thing and this uterus changes the way people talk to you, like every 10 years, you can't even figure your life out. Yeah. So that's like just one example of the kind of ship that you don't realize affects you. But it really does. So when things like a giant pandemic, like this happened when things like the terrible terrorist bombing in Afghanistan, like, or because if you're in the military, like that's affecting you right now period or like the earthquake in Haiti or Columbia, anybody, anything happening, right? You already have all these little things that chip away at you being like your full person, You don't even realize it and something big happens. You're going to be fucked. Uh That's, that's kind of how it works. So that's what that podcast can help me realize. Like even when I feel fine the next big thing happens, I don't feel fine, you know? Yeah. So even if it's good to yeah, good. Well, I mean just recognizing that you can do that through therapy, like breaking those things down and you're talking to somebody who's not just experience with like everyone's experiences and how they're reacting or feeling about a really big situation or a really big event.

Um, how they feel. I don't know. It's just like, it's, I don't, it's pretty cool. It's like another friend to talk about, feel very comfortable and confident in. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's definitely a good place. It's definitely a good place to go to, you know, you know how to find it or you can afford it or you have the insurance obviously Right. But um, it's definitely a nice place to be. They don't have any opinions. I don't care what you're doing. Like they don't care if you break up with somebody or don't like, they don't care if you get married or don't like that's not their business. Mm hmm. So it is very nice to have an impartial person that has no like second opinion that's driving the way they talk to you, you know? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Because it doesn't affect their life precise friend or a family member or a partner. Yeah. Everybody can't do everything for you.

So that's what the therapist is, but it's their space. Yeah. I mean, and you're literally paying them to listen to you for at least an hour. It's not through insurance. Like they can't, they can't run away. They can't run away from something. That's uh, yeah. Um, but what was I gonna say? Like, well you mentioned how you only had tried one time before that adult realize and recognize that you're going to have to keep trying like that next person is probably not going to be the best person for you or for each other, even if they look good in face or on paper, like you're probably not going to, yeah. I don't know vibe well or understand each other. No, it's, they're not going to understand your history. Yeah. It's not. It's not. I think that was so in the, in the guidelines of that podcast and finding somebody and I went about it with that framework and so far I feel pretty good you know?

But I didn't do that the first time I was just like therapist close to me on my insurance because what's a therapist? Just therapist. Alright, check found one. Let's do this. That's great. And you already have one session. I had a couple. So like no like you need to find the person and like see okay what are they? Because I didn't even understand the different kinds of like people just say therapist that could mean psychologists, psychiatrists, social worker, mental health care worker. Like there's different words and different things you don't even know like what they are. So it's like people add other things like trauma oriented. Yeah, let's talk about that. So it's like what is their title? What do they say they specialize in? Do they have like a public facing social media besides the website? Because the website is not always really like beefy rights sometimes just like a headshot and like high Yeah. You know if they have social media, what are they posting about? How are they talking about people? Because Yeah.

And then most of them have um like oh free 15 minute console and you can have questions written down like you know, especially on this podcast, right? Where disabled as fun? Like have you ever had a disabled person come to your office, do you know about chronic illnesses because you don't go to somebody that's able to stay f like that's not going to help you. Right. Yeah. And use that consultation seriously even though it's only 15 minutes like ask all the questions. You can use that as an interview. Yeah because that's how you see if it's a good fit and obviously this can be exhausting if you have to do that multiple times. But once you understand what that therapist is and what they can do for you, then you have a better chance of finding the person. And I think that's what it was the first time around that it didn't have. Mhm. Because I remember when and I like it. I need to get back on my health insurance with a new job. I don't sit That um until October seven or something.

So I just signed up for our free like state insurance and I'm still waiting on that whatever. So yes I want to get back on, I want to get on that train as soon as I can. Um finding a therapist, finding say someone who can also make a a prosthetic for my hand for lifting in that you know like there's so many things that I want to do. Um for myself with insurance that I have to go on hold. But you made me think of when Geoff my partner and I were looking for a couple of therapists and we were polly at the time. So all of the different labels that I was looking for a therapist was holly friendly. Some sort of like I guess trauma oriented because I have a lot of ship for my past it's going to come up but I haven't healed from um that understands like couples of color. Um I don't know like different like better comfortable talking about sexuality and sex.

Yeah, caution Yeah. Yeah. Because those are things happening in our lives. Why should we feel ashamed about it talking to her own therapist? So those are and then realizing that even finding somebody with those labels like I don't know you're still not going to find the perfect one until Yeah try three or 4 out. Yeah. Now it's something interesting. They talked about a lot of indifferent some different episodes but um it's like you might not even feel like as a black woman you want to see another black woman right? Like you might not feel like as a filipino like I need to find an asian person like you might not feel that way because you might look at them and put all of your life shit into like that person, right? You know what I mean? Like you don't know what this is. You never had long long. Yeah or you might put all of your feelings like oh she looks like my aunt my aunt is kind of a dick like you know you might bring so that meant that might not even be your starting point so you like you do something or we're gonna wiggle Yeah you gotta wiggle it out, you can figure that out.

Like I know I would definitely feel more comfortable talking to a woman but you just never know, you never know. Like I have the same thing happened to a friend who she went before women of color and ended up with a white man as her therapist for some reason and ended up just feeling, you know, they're like best friends for life, you never know because she might not have felt comfortable, she might have put like all of her hang ups on that person and couldn't break past it. So yeah that's important to acknowledge to, you never know, you have to try unfortunately. Yeah, it's hard being a therapist to on the other end, the opposite end of things. Like a lot of people rely on you for healing them for bringing back to normal for being this person that's like God on a pedestal to just know and understand um or have answers to all their questions. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But and that's the other problem too, that's exactly what I wish I could remember the names of the guests.

I really can't, but it was one about being the strong woman and um she was saying like a lot of people sometimes a black woman might not respond to me as a black woman because she feels like I'm a strong black woman. So she has to be a strong black woman. She won't be vulnerable in the conversation because it's like, I'm not gonna show this lady that I'm not strong, right? Because she's perfect. She's a therapist. Like, so that's what I meant. Like sometimes your own hangups could um Yeah, but therapists need a therapist. Just like personal trainers need personal trainers and coaches. Like everybody needs somebody who is that person in their life but isn't necessarily perfect. Like you look at her personal trainer right there like, oh wait, that's kind of fat. I don't want them to train me. Like I want to look like freaking Dwayne the rock johnson have six pack abs. You don't even know if he's natural. Like they have all of these views and perceptions of what you want to be uh like and what you want to become and so that teacher or that Petey, that coach or that has to be that perfect person for you.

But we're like, you know, I want to find somebody who's who looks and sounds or you know, looks and things like me also like I want when I want to find somebody who like as a disabled person, you know, or like as a chunky person, like I don't want somebody would like eight pack abs. Um they wouldn't understand, we don't have to see lifestyle. Yeah, I mean, yeah, no, I would definitely not ever have like a coach that's a white dude. I just inherently don't trust white guys. Like perfect example. Yeah. You just tend to vibe to just look at your friends with people who do not necessarily have the same trauma as you, but have similar experiences. And if you have a perfect therapist who has never had trauma in their lives, they probably wouldn't know how to respond to that. Um or things like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know.

Yeah, it's just a level of of how much do you have to explain yourself to somebody before you can be comfortable because that gets old. There you go. I think it's very old. You don't want to put in that effort anymore. Yeah, but I think, um I don't know are we gonna break or we're just going to call it? Because I feel like we said everything that needs to be said. Yeah, no break for this one. Yeah, I mean, it's a lot there said a lot of things there. Sorry, We didn't talk about lifting guys like lifting is not necessarily on the back burner. It's just, there's so many things going on in our personal. I'm not sorry because I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna perform oil if my brain is everywhere. If I'm all over the place, I'm miss loading the weights. I'm dropping the barbell out of my hand. Like I'm a fucking mass dude. Well, so the thing is you're you're also doing a lot of weight lifting and that's over your head, which still scares the sh it out of me not having two hands.

Like if you don't have feelings and your ankles or like, like how the heck do you do that? You know? Yeah. Now that requires a level of focus that I will not have mentally. I'm not there. So, I think, I mean, maybe we'll see what the everyone's an expert on mental health now. Like after um what's, what's your name? Like Naomi Osaka and um Simone biles, right? So, but I I definitely agree with that sentiment. Like your mental health is health, health is important, right? We do physical things to make us feel good and move better. We like being strong, but like, you gotta be strong up there too. Yeah. You're not recognizing as female athletes where a lot of stuff when we don't feel like that day is right. Even if it's in the olympics, even if it's like performing for your nation, everybody, everybody treats you differently if you were a man I went out and hopefully we're not about that health.

Mental health is lifting. Okay. Mental exercises is heavy listening. All right. Think that doubts. I'm not sorry, disabled girls who lift physically and mentally I'm proud of you and that's what I gotta say thanks boo thing. There you go. I think that's yeah, disabled girls who help disabled girls who helped health H. E. T. H. Health. Like the men with the blank faced health is this help? Yeah, I feel better about that because a lot of people do like change their names because they haven't been lifting for the last year. You know like we need to change our names. Where is the same girls who do everything? Yeah. No, it's not that deep people. Exactly in their name, change it. Yeah. No. Yeah, no, we don't owe anybody anything. If I say I am this, I am that period.

I I think the only people who should change their names are the ones that have their body weight in their handle. Like I'm still a thing. 48 kg for life, maybe 56 kg for life. That's still a thing. Oh no. Yeah. Oh no, that is a different story. Yeah. No, I still call myself para listing strong woman. I haven't competed since 2019. Well, I call myself a retired powerless here who's coming back. I was supposed to come back. Covid took that. Yeah, Covid took that. I was going to come back. I was gonna do the meet in new york with sisters of power lifting. And uh what you call it? The legends of the sisterhood thing. Well that's the thing is like when I say come back, I mean just come back and get stronger by myself. I don't compete in any me, I don't want to have to know you're not interested and that's what I mean for myself. I want to lift for myself and get it, do it.

Strong friends. Okay. Okay. Well that was cool. I feel so much better. This is my therapy sessions. This is your, this is your appetizer, right? This is your thoughts on this plate to the, this is the foot in the door. Yeah. So yeah, there was a lot of heated, you know, a lot of heated stuff that we brought up. It doesn't necessarily mean that we're fine. It's just, it feels good to like, I don't know say what you just, but I mean, if you all have any, in terms of, in terms of the, do your own research for the Covid vaccine, like we already talked about it. You know what to do. Get out there. Like use your brains. You got this right. But if you all have other suggestions for the therapy stuff, feel free to like email or DM s because all I know about therapy for black girls. But who knows like how many other similar things are out there. So if you guys, um, if you all not you guys, if y'all folks people, persons, um, ghouls and demons, that was, I mean, I'm sorry.

If you all know of any other podcasts or like search directory platforms, that would be helpful, let us know and we could share it. Yeah. And if you're a therapist who's got their brain growing all the time when they listen to these types of podcast and you want to come on and you're not a disabled girl. Hit us up. Yeah. You're welcome. Yeah. That was a great. That was great. We should catch up. Mhm. What's that? Yeah. Yeah. We out here. Talk to us again, baby. You love him. The single girl zone. Thanks for listening to disabled girls who left. We appreciate all of your support and everyone who's taken the time to show us some love. Don't forget to subscribe, rate already. Review of our channel. We're on apple podcasts, Spotify player, FM, google podcasts and more. You can also find us on instagram at disabled girls who left. Yeah.

E53: Doing Your Own Research
E53: Doing Your Own Research
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