this is disabled girls who lift, We are reclaiming what's rightfully ours one podcast at a time, it's mary beth Chloe and Marcia bringing you the thoughts and unpopular topics to get you out of that, A bliss comfort zone. Mhm Hello? Hello, yet again to another episode of disabled girls who lift. This is Marcia from south florida on Seminole Tribe land. We have two ghosts, ghosts to hosts and a very special guest. I'll allow mary Beth to elaborate ghost number two over here. Um what's up y'all? It's mary Beth from northern California sitting on a loony land. We are super, super, super, super excited to invite guests. Number number Maria, Number two Maria rob a you know, uh we've been following you for a very long time. You've probably seen some of her fitness videos on our page as well because she has lots of great instructional um seated videos comes to us from Monterey, California sitting on s elin Tribe, actor certified personal trainer dancer with the royal, let's just Jack of all trades.

So we are so excited to have you Maria, thank you, thank you so much for inviting me and really looking forward to this. It's really exciting to be here. As you mentioned, I'm Maria and I'm excited to get started. Yes, lovely, glad to have you here. Um so I do just want to spell out in terms of disclosure because I feel like this is a thing for wheelchair users like whenever you're on a show or something, somebody's like, well what happened like we don't really care. You know, you, you don't have to talk, we don't talk about, that's why we're here talking about this is you now we're gonna talk about you now. Um So I'm curious what Covid willing, what, what kind of projects are you working on right now? Because you seem to have many hats. I'm currently working on specializing in corrective exercises and exercise therapy. So that way I have like more specific knowledge on how to properly train people with all different types of disabilities. Um, so that way I can help them live healthier and happier lives. Nice.

So right now you have a background, like you went to school for something or you're just trying to get knowledge or they're all online courses. So I took this course on ISA and that's how I got certified as a personal trainer and then they have specializations and so I signed up for those as well and you know, decided to put myself through more study torture because why not? That's funny. So that's one of our previous episodes, we talked with Ashley who's also a personal trainer and she's studying sports science or exercise physiology or something like that. I forgot. Um and she mentioned like, oh yeah, they have these, they called it special populations and I'm like, oh, I wonder what that's like and she's like, well, so far they're all trash. Yeah. It's all the stuff that just kind of scratches the surface. It feels like I would love to someday create a course on how to train disabled people properly. Um that's more in depth and not just scratching the surface, like the first three chapters are like talking about language and they have handicapped as one of the languages.

So it needs to be updated and it definitely like needs to be expanded on. Like it's a lot of things that are just kind of scratching the surface, not really depth on how to properly train everybody. I think this is one of those nothing without us. Nothing about us without us. Things that definitely is. Yeah, they don't really know because so one of the examples she shared was like, they consider pregnant people a special population And then the recommendations are like workout at 50% and and the reps and the sets. And it's like why? I mean it does have benefits to work out when you're pregnant, but like it's still just I feel like there's not enough studies on people with different abilities and people going through like temporary abilities. Um and things like that. So I think it just needs to be more studies and they need to actually have people who have specific disabilities in order to like figure out what works for us those blanket movements.

One type of disability rather than focusing on how that specific person can move. Where did you get this from? Yeah. Where'd you get this idea from? Uh who told you that Hollywood? I don't know, it's kind of a mess. So when you work out now and the stuff that you've been sharing, that's just experience. Yeah, it's all experienced. So um I started my fitness journey back in, started 2017 and for me it was I was trying to just be happy again, I wasn't trying to lose weight, I just wanted to be happy and I realized I was happiest when I was more active in my life. Um So I started working out and if I looked up adaptive workouts, I would find people doing bicep curls sitting in a chair, not necessarily a wheelchair, but just a chair doing bicep curls, which is great, you know, like if somebody needs that, it's helpful, but there's so much more to my body, I have leg function, I can move my legs a bit and I want to figure out how to work those out to their strongest abilities unfortunately.

Um It wasn't challenging enough for me personally. But then if I looked up adaptive or not adaptive workouts, workouts by people who have no experience with disabled people, it was jumping over park benches and climbing a wall and all these things that I could not, I can't stand the drip. So I had to figure out what the middleman was. And one of my friends was like why don't you try squats while holding on to something, it's not perfect, but it's better than nothing and I was a little annoyed that I didn't come up with it myself. So I tried it, it was the most terrifying thing, but that's when I I kind of realized that I need to keep filming how I'm adapting these workouts to give other people ideas because if I was struggling, other people were going to be struggling as well, definitely. Yeah. Yeah, and I can tell, I can definitely relate to that as far as avoiding certain machines or uh you know, body movements in the beginning, not thinking that you have the ability to do it, but that's like that experience is so necessary in your teaching too.

Wasn't that you and benching mary beth Oh yeah, I was like a balance of the bar, like never in my life will ever bench press and here we are, you know, or even squatting like being able to um you know, balance the bar with both arms on the back or you being able to squat while holding on to something like that's brilliant. It's just something but it works for me and my legs like did improve when I did that, I couldn't do a full squat before, like I barely bend my knees and then came back up because I felt like I was gonna fall now I'm able to actually do a full squat, I still have to hold on to something else will fall, but that's, it can't help, it's something is better than nothing for us, definitely. And it's like, you don't have to have, I don't know, I feel like there's such such an either or extreme, it's like a dude in a chair doing bicep curls or somebody that's like, oh my God, I want to walk again and they're like in the robot or you're doing this and that.

And it's like, well what if you're somewhere in the middle where it's like, I just want to be strong and happy? Like I, there isn't so hard. I just want to, I want to see how far I can go. I'm not trying to walk again. I just want to be a little bit happier a little bit healthier and that's the goal for me. Yeah, I love that goal. I love that. You had mentioned like, it's not about weight or anything. I just want to be happy. And yeah, like that's really why we should be doing any sort of movement. I mean, and it's also kind of why we're called disabled girls who lived, but we've had dancers. Yeah. You know, I mean, that's all movement. Movement is amazing. So it really is speaking of dance role, it's our dancers. Yeah. What's that about? Yes, we are, we are, we actually just got done filming our campaign video, which will be coming out soon. I'm really excited about it. Um, but it's been very interesting with like being on a dance team and not being able to go anywhere to perform and just like figuring out how we can get creative with that we've figured out like through Tiktok doing like little dance clips and just piecing it all together.

But I do miss being able to like go and dance and travel the world and just meet other people and hopefully that comes soon dang. That sucks. Tiktok is a skill though. It takes, it takes some adjustment. Getting used to hearing it out, but do whatever you have friends, teach us. Yeah, it's a skill like the timing the cuts. I'm like, oh, I'm like dipping my toe in that water. It's a, it's a skill. I don't know about it. But you guys, um, you all, I'm sorry. I'm saying guys, you all live in the same area. How does the role, it's work? Most of the girls live in L. A. I live the farthest away in Monterrey. So I drive about 5.5 hours. Whenever I was down there, we try to do as much of it as virtually as possible for the sake of me. But I drive down to L. A. Um about once a month on like the slowest season. Sometimes it's every weekend I'm down there. It's a lot, but I love the team and I love being with the girls and I believe in our message.

So until I can afford something better. That's what I have to do and it's getting so big that you might be able to, you know, start a northern California chapter. There are so many amazing dancers up here. We can connect you to you know, dance for all bodies based in Berkeley, The East Bay. Yeah, we do want to expand someday. We want to have like different little teens in like maybe Houston and maybe NorCal and um just like different areas, we would love to do that, we had to put that on hold of course. But hopefully someday. Damn. But it's tough though like dancing virtually. Obviously all like actors, dancers, everyone in the entertainment industry, how to put Either their professional lives on hold or find all of these different ways to perform and I think the genre that you all perform is hip hop mostly. Right, and that's all performed in groups. So how are you doing that virtually just like 10, 20 different screens.

Um Right. Um um so for the tick talks, we all like send a video out and we all practice that and film us doing the whole thing and then one of the girls will edit it and like kind of clip it to where we get like a couple seconds on the video. Um And then Connor and Chelsey, they are like our biggest dancers, they have the most dance experience. So they choreograph some routines and they'll send that to us as well and we'll practice it again and film it at our own home. Thankfully we all have the tools we need to film at home and then again we just kind of clip it together as best as possible. That's awesome. Yeah, still building. I mean community and everybody, I'm sure enjoyed watching that. So you didn't, you didn't stop it at all. And then speaking of community, we have also kind of like focused more on the community itself and less on the dance aspect. So like once a month we have a virtual girls night where we just kind of hang out through zoom and chat with other girls with disabilities and just spend time with everybody.

Um and it's, you know, it's really fun and we are more connected with other people now than we've ever been because of the pandemic because of everything that's been happening and it's really cool how we've taken this rough year and turned it into a good positive for us. Yeah, well 20 years, I've heard I've heard that sentiment for a lot of Things by disabled folks because you have some folks that have been online forever, like there's disability Twitter and they run deep and people in there with like 50 whatever K followers and all that. Um but then there's some folks that are kind of like us and we're like kind of small scale, we're keeping it local and then pandemic hits and they're like, oh there is the internet, right? Well for so long we have figured out how to use it as a proper tool and this has forced us to do that. And now like also everyone's forced to pay attention to everything. I would watch for watching like 100 different Tiktok trends a day.

I know, I don't know any different. It's hard to keep up sometimes. Honestly need to hire a person just to keep up with Tiktok trends. I think I spent some of my free time just like strolling through me like, oh, that's a good idea to save it for later when it's my film day. That's what I have a film day and I just kind of changing different outfits and take advantage of my days off. Smart, very smart. So you just do it all in bulk and then playing your post and all that makes it a little bit easier, makes it a little bit easier. That's a smart way to do it. And you said on your days off. So what are you doing on the other days when you're working? Um, I am a personal assistant and I have just the most amazing boss whose understanding with whenever I need to take off extra time at work in order to get the dance team rolling or to work on my own personal career. I worked for him, used to be four days a week, but we're switching it to three days a week so I can have more time getting things done here at home. But yeah, just a personal assistant.

It's the boring, pay the bill job, but the best boss in the world and he's also disabled. He's a quadriplegic. So it's it's nice to just like relate to him and being like, hey, having a high chronic pain day, he's like, I didn't get much sleep last night, so coming in a little bit later. Yeah, you don't have to bring yourself. Yeah, that's such a I know, so good. Like, it's a dream. I living a great life. I was literally gonna ask like if the accommodations only came after covid because, you know, all of a sudden everyone was start making accommodations. But no, it seems like you've always had that good communication. Yeah, it's great. It's absolutely phenomenal to have a boss that understands exactly what you don't have to. Oh my gosh, and not. I mean I work for myself now because of that because you know, they wouldn't understand, I'd be like, yo I can't really handle lifting this giant man and then doing this for five more hours and they'll be like, oh, but on your instagram you were squatting, I don't know, it's very different separate things, very different things working and doing physical activity when you're working is so different because when you're working out, you take some rest, you drink some water, you stretch at work.

It's all about the hustle and there's no time and it's not as accessible. Yeah. And you budget your energy like, like all right, I'm going to work out today. So I'll do this differently in that and then okay, I'll walk For like an hour, exactly. eight french. It's kind of not the same thing. It's a very, you're not wearing a squat belt when you're lifting this. I know right? I mean by a court uh I need create 18. I need pre workout. My squat belt. Like everything. Oh gosh, The worst. That's what we'll deal with that. But I'm a physical therapist. So have you really gotten physical therapy to figure some of these exercise things out or? Not really? Not really. Um Insurance stopped covering it once I became independent. They no longer found it medically necessary. I think that it is. There it is. Um and I think it would be really cool and I would love to be able to get into physical therapy because I have interior pelvic tilt and I would love to even out the strength between my left leg and my right leg.

My left leg is super strong and my right leg is and like there's some things that I would love to work on, but unfortunately insurance doesn't cover it. So it's just been kind of like me diving into personal training and all of the other things that I'm working on to try to figure out how I can do it myself, but maybe someday I'll make enough money to where I can hire somebody else to help me out with it. Yeah, pay somebody cash. It makes me so sad because I feel like that's such a huge gap when it comes to physical therapy and rehab stuff. Like once you're like, oh, you live by yourself, you can work now. Great done discharge. Even like little old ladies, They just set arbitrary things like, Oh you broke your hip, you can walk 150 ft. Cool, cool. By Yeah, yeah, like they get you like you a surviving point and then it's not enough and then you go home and you're trying to figure out what you can do and then chronic pain gets bad when I'm not active, you know, just there's so many different problems that come with it and you have to figure out your actual where you live, you know, like how you move around in your kitchen, you're driving, so you have to figure that out on your own also.

Yeah, Well, um the, I went to a great, I got most of my rehab done at Shriners Hospital, so they were amazing and they helped me out and they gave us like all the resources that I needed there was so for driving, I had, I had to hire a company to install my hand controls and then they said they wouldn't do it unless I got proper training and so they connected me to another company that would teach me how to drive with hand controls. And so while I was doing that they worked on my car. It costed a pretty penny. But how I got it done, you had to pay for the training as well. Yeah, I had to pay for the training. I think that was around, this was back in 2012 when I think about then it was around like $5 $600. And then the hand controls I think are around two grand now. So I thought I'd be worse. But that's just the equipment, not the latest. Yeah, that's the equipment, The equipment. And then the training was like 5 600 I think.

I can't remember though man, that's what the what do they call that is a word for that when it's expensive to just get the stuff you need when you're disabled. Oh they call it disability tax. There it is. That's what they say. Oh yes. What do you need? It costs more. Here you go. Yeah. Here you go. Yeah. It's frustrating and it's so oh my gosh, that makes you so mad because imagine you need to get in and out of your car. Like what if you were strong enough to roll down the street but not strong enough to do your transfer to your car? You could, it takes time to figure it to get my gosh. Yeah. Yeah, thankfully attractors, they like have me practice on like a mat and they raise them at like a car height And they had me practice transferring like that. And then they had me practice taking my chair apart and then they let me roll out into the parking lot and practice with my mom's car which was so I scratched up my mom's car a couple of times.

I'm sure. I mean my car still have scratches so that's just wheelchair problems. You could never have a nice paint job. Funny getting my chair in and out of the car is actually one thing that helped me meet my husband. Um I was trying to figure out I wanted to go out when I finally was figuring out how to drive and I was still having a hard time getting my chair in and out of the car. So my mom was like, I don't feel comfortable with you going like what if you have a hard time and it's two in the morning and you can't get a hold of me to get your chair in the car. And I was like I love this. So I sat in the garage for like an hour literally practicing just like taking it apart, throwing it in the car, putting it back together like just doing that for an hour and can I go out? She's like okay fine. And that's what I'm. And so when I went out I met my husband uh what do you mean? We met? We met at a club. You know? We just barely missed online dating.

Yeah look at you. I I'm so happy one day he started picking up when we met and we just skipped that whole phase. Which was a relief. Yeah I can't imagine doing that. Oh no I'm good. I'll. So what you're saying so what you're saying it sounds like you're real stubborn. You was like no you can't go and you're like oh really? Really? Yeah somebody telling me I can't do something only motivates me more to do it. Oh my gosh that's my picture. Do this interesting. All I'm picturing is like you outside of the garage like pouring down rain. Still there practicing. It's only been an hour but you're still practicing marina marina. What are you doing? Nothing mama. Good goodness. Going out meeting my husband tonight. Meeting my future husband tonight. Got quite literally. Oh my gosh.

Beautiful. That's so lit. I love you were cute. It's so disgusting. Yeah. Sounds like it sounds pretty adorable. That is what I really liked about real. Let's when I first discovered the page um Like showing the reality of road trips right because you would always have to go on road trips showing the chair transfer going out and putting gas and having to do that with like three or four wheelchairs sometimes in one van dam. You should see us when we have to go to the airport together. Um And it's like all of us so like we order to Uber excels and like We pile up like we divide up to like three and 13 and another and then like we got to fit our wheelchairs and our luggage. The Uber drivers panic sometimes they literally canceled on us and we've had to order another like in your face like they pulled up and said no they pulled up, they drove they saw us, they hit cancel and just drove away like.

No not today not excluding me asshole. I would probably panic if I was in this scenario. It's a very interesting situation but we have it down, we have a system like we all get in, we have able bodies with us that will help them so we're not leaving these poor people alone with chairs and luggage. But yeah you're laughing but it's like damn like y'all could have been left stranded anywhere, luckily you're you're at an airport where it's super busy. Yes. Yes I don't even think about that. And so actually getting on the plane is I know every airline has their own um process how's that part getting to the airport to have. So now we're at the airport were at the airport so thankfully we're going to cut the line at T. S. A. So that's relatively easy. I try to wear like a tank top and leggings or like a sweater and shorts, like minimal clothing that's still like enough to keep me warm but makes the pat down even faster and easier.

Um and then at the airport when we get to the gate and we get our claimant gate tag, um we get like three or four, I'll chairs and we just kind of like, we all transfer on and like I buckle myself up because they take forever doing it. They're treating me like glass pool and everything over and like trying to buckle me in so I just kind of do it while they're busy helping someone else out. Um they store all of our chairs under the plane and then like as one's loading into the plane and they're getting another one ready and then they'll come out with the empty, I'll chair and like somebody else will hop on while they pull into the next person and it's just like this go, go, go system. They've got a system. Yeah, we've got the system, we know this is chaos. You don't deal with this every day. But we got this, here's our manual follow, please Open This three page booklet favorite to get to your first. So we hog up all the carry on sections and with our cushions and the smart drives and anything else that we're bringing.

It's very interesting and you know, we don't sit together either, we all get window seat because it's much more comfortable for us. It'll be like, bye guys, I'll see you at the end of light? Oh my goodness. Do you have hair and makeup artists traveling with you two or you do it all yourselves stuff taught us all of our makeup tips and tricks, so we all do our makeup. Yeah, I think I don't know the names, but I think I know which one you're talking about and she has all the videos and tutorials. Yes, Yes. She was the alta. She was on alta. She's the first wheelchair user that was featured in alta. Um, but yeah, no, her skills. Oh, she's amazing. She's fantastic. I was not the best at makeup. I had, you know, I was a mascara and lipstick. She taught me more and it's actually fun. Now, that's the first thing I noticed when you came on, it was great. Thank you. She, I owe it all to stuff and, and sam is Chelsea. They helped me out in the beginning, but it was stuff that really like sat with me and let me do, I'm going to kind of learn where I have to like, learn hands on.

She would like, alright, hold the brush like this, like move it like this, like, just use a little bit, try this color, wow, wow, that was nice. It was great. Was it I okay when I look at the videos, I feel like she's the kind of person that would look at you failing doing it and be like, okay, come here, let me show you. Is that how it happened? She'll watch you? Like, it's terrifying doing your makeup. That's terrifying thing. But did you just do this? Yeah. Oh no, no, no, you got to do it like this, but I knew it, but you got to do it. I knew it so terrifying. That's great. Like the girl gang vibe y'all have going Yeah, so necessary. Especially when it makes it so much more fun. Like, um I joined the team when I was only five months injured and I have to start the team and for me it was the first time where I felt like a woman since all of this had happened since I was adjusting to life.

Like I felt like a woman, not somebody going through this disability journey and um it was so much fun that we just had to start it and we had to keep figuring out ways to grow so other people could find their connections and find their someone to also feel that empowered and feel great. The fields, my heart will, that's amazing. So you knew, So you didn't wait. So you helped start it? Yes. Um back in 2012, um through Facebook and social media stalking, I got connected with Chelsea, my dad was looking up the reality show push girls and found Chelsea's dad on Facebook um and Chelsea and her dad drove up from Monterey to Sacramento, which is where I lived at the time to meet me and like just get to know me and kind of like mentor me for a little bit and then a couple weeks later she's like hey I'm doing this dance camp, it's like a one time thing.

We're going to learn a couple routines, we're gonna perform it at the end of the week, do you want to come? And I'm like be around other women in wheelchairs and hang out with a reality tv star. Yeah. Yeah you know that sounds great. And so I got to hang out with Chelsea, I got to hang out with Ali, I got to hang out with all these other incredible women. Um We were learning these dance routines from like 10 in the morning till 10 at night, hustling, having fun, racing and um target like just being wild Children and having the time of our lives and we were like this is a lot of fun, we need to keep doing this so let's make it a team and that is how the rollouts was born. Holy way he's a good creeper on facebook way Dad's finding dad. I mean he wasn't too happy when I was moving to Monterey. Oh crap what?

It's not what I asked for. I just wanted you to get to know people and like be independent again. Thank that's you just never know man, I'm glad you brought that up, you just never know how things start. I had no idea. That's how it started at all. I kind of I don't know I guess I never like dug that deep. I just watch what you guys post um but that's that's kind of how we started. It's like you know, you just see someone like I think they'll be cool. You just shoot your shot in the next scene. You have a podcast. Okay, here we are. It's I mean it's good to have people who've been through similar experiences because they can relate a lot easier and it just makes life better and they can give you tips to make life easier like figuring out what products work best for you or like how you can get jeans on if you're struggling to get jeans on like they can help with so many different things and explain it better than rehab can. Yeah, for sure. And do you um do you find that you speak to, let's say your rillettes in the community about things differently than you would, I don't know your husband or your parents, you know?

Um Not with my husband, my husband, he has like grown with me with this journey. Like he met me when I was only a few months injured and so like he kinda like watched me grow and he like saw my absolute worst days and he's also seen my absolute best days so he kind of understands a little bit, he still doesn't understand how I can move my legs but not feel them. But I mean it is it's definitely different though with like the girls on the team and like other people who don't have disabilities like you know but then like there stairs here can you hang out here? I don't know if the bathroom is accessible and then with the Rolex were like we'll figure it out, we'll crawl well we'll do what we have to or will just not go there we'll go to the different accessible are that was something who mentioned that about their friend was like oh how tall is the toilet? And she's like oh I don't know I never thought of that. Yeah dang I don't remember yeah I can't remember right now sorry but wheelchair user hanging out with her other wheelchair user friend but still you know totally different experiences.

So she's like how tall is the toil? And she's like I don't know. Yeah definitely Marie Ponti me. Yeah it was Maria's reading I don't know I was blinking for a second and it's just so wild because imagine there's that much difference between you talking to someone else with a disability. Like once you talk to the able bodied person is just like it's just a mountain never mind. I'm not climbing that the more time I spend with them the more they like start to realize and understand like they don't pick up my chair and shove it in the car but they'll like kind of like hand me, they know how to take off the wheels and I will turn like they'll hand it to me, which makes it a little bit easier because then I can just like lay in the back seat, grab it and move it over instead of like pulling myself back up and grabbing the next wheel and flopping myself back down. You know, you just got to train them. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it is. A little training for real. I mean there's definitely stuff I don't talk about with everyone.

Uh it's just a waste of breath. I wouldn't even bother. Like, like when you mentioned like pain days, like, I don't even talk about that kind of stuff with people. Like it's always, it doesn't just, you know, okay, yeah. And talking about it only makes it worse. They will be fine. And then like, my mom's best friend be like, how's your pain band? And I'm like, hey just came. Yeah, thanks for reminding me reminding me. Thank you man. Actually right now my toes are on fire because you asked thanks for asking okay now because like I'm, I'm walking on needles even though I'm just, I'm just sitting here. I hope your head and it's and it's nice to just like not being that token disabled friend or that other in the friend group or whatever. Like, like you always forget like, you know, we have so many different things, we identify within our personality queer disabled, like everything.

Um and then when we're with our like abled body friends, they just see us as like, oh my one handed friend or my friend and the wheelchair, I'm like goddamn it. What about everything else? What about the personality part of me? Like Yeah, I'm the wheelchair user, but I'm also the goofball. I'm also whole dancing. I'm also in theater. Like I'm obsessed with karaoke. Yeah. Pole dancing. Where you pole dancing? I used to pull dance at a studio but that has been closed due to everything going on. So I finally got impatient enough to buy my own poll and I'm back to practicing it. It's very painful. I've seen the bruises. I don't know. Yeah. So you have the so I've seen the kind of a it's like a base and then just a pole and there's another kind where it's like attached to your ceiling. Yes. It's like all suction based.

So like its sections onto the ceiling and then it's all like tension so I don't have to drill a hole into my ceiling. My landlord would not be happy but it's all still like really safe. Like the way they designed it. So that way I can continue to push myself. Yeah. Hang that's hard mm abs of steel with that. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's definitely more of an upper body and abs thing than it is a lake thing. The legs help. But if you have a strong enough upper body you can climb a pole without really using much of your legs. Have you ever tried paul mary beth I got tons of friends that are in like, World of pole, like, or what is it called? I think that's what the competition is called. World of Poles. I don't know, it's all over my instagram, but I've been curious. I've definitely seen a a poll in somebody's house before and I'm trying to, trying to teach us the tricks it takes.

Also like, I think some of you use a chalk. Yes, so like, the there's a lot of different things to help your body stick to the pole, like, you like wipe down the pole with alcohol, rubbing alcohol, like just like really wipe it down and it gets like any kind of grease and grime off of it and that makes it easier to hold on to. You can do, there's like chalk. There's also tack which you like, it's kind of like a gel that you put on your hands and like any other part of your body that will be really know about, you know about it also just help you stick to the pole, there's a lot and then like minimal clothing. The reason why they don't wear a lot of clothing is because like, with leggings, your clothes will just slide down the pole so you wouldn't be able to hold yourself up, you gotta use your skin to like, stick to the pole fabric doesn't really work that well, it'll just be like you just you just pull sliding that pole dancing.

I think you could get it done with some like I'm pretty sure you can get around it mary beth just hooking. Oh yeah definitely. You can definitely do it. Um Yeah I haven't like actually tried it. I'm I've always been curious. I know it's gonna be a lot more lower body and then the one hand and then I've seen yeah the hook right? Yeah I'm sure you can because that's a part of it. Anyway. I don't know it's not for me. I tried it. I do like the yeah I tried to find a place we had both the silks are pretty pretty lips pretty and it's kind of funny going into and I wonder if you have this kind of experience Maria. Like it's kind of funny starting new things when you're already into fitness so you're stronger than everyone. So you pull up and they're like okay honey, so you're gonna grab it. I'm gonna be like yeah like this uh like oh uh I'm already in the air, what else? Uh Like oh I didn't. All right. Uh I'm just now finally finding the disabled pole community so I can like learn from them because when I go to the studio it's a bunch of people without disabilities and they're like um I don't know how to train the own right?

Well it's okay. Like I have like a basic idea so you just teach the class and I will hog up this cold for an hour and work on my own thing. But this is discouraging for other people. It is and it kind of sucks because at least I don't know. It's because there's definitely even me, you know, I have my own issues. I'm a physical therapist but there's still times that I'll have a patient, I'll be like I don't really know how to do this but we'll figure it out together at least, you know. Yeah. So it sucks when you don't have that space, like we'll figure it out, we're gonna fail a few times my heart. I might look stupid. You might look stupid but we're gonna try but we're gonna try. Yeah. So I'm glad you at least have that like space to explore and figure it out. Even though Covid missed you up. Yeah. I mean you're out of practice and my body is like what? We haven't done this in awhile. What are you doing? What are we doing here? So is there an online like disabled pole dancing community?

Yeah it is. I found a facebook group. Um I think it's like I can't remember what it's called. I'll have to look it up but it was like a facebook group but I went on one pole facebook group and I mentioned that I have a disability so I'm still trying to learn and they're like oh you might like this group and so I found another disability specific facebook group which has been, I'm excited to figure that out more. So people store on facebook and doing groups because I don't even mess with facebook anymore. I know they just use them for groups. I don't think they use them for like really anything else. And it's just so I know like some personal trainers, they were even certified nutritionist. They'll have like a facebook group for people who have paid for their program and then they can talk about more in depth things in there. Um Like it's like so some people still use facebook just for the groups though, Not for facebook specifically interesting. Um So completely dead.

Not totally dead. So I didn't mention this before we started, but we're going to pause for like two seconds. We could sneak a commercial in and you know, get some, get some Eddie's real quick. So like two seconds, quick pause, quick pause. Guys, hold on, we'll be right back. Okay, that's it mary beth will get it in the post. All right, we're back. Alright, forgot to mention that. Anyways. Alright, how do you have time for all of this? She works 34 days a week. She's a roll it. She's doing her own learning personal training pole dancing. Still working out posting her own content, posting the role. Let content. Do you need your own personal system when you my husband thankfully. Uh he hasn't been working this year because uh like he he lost his job, but he's a chef, so he cooks dinner for me and he's very supportive and very helpful.

So he's kind of like been there for me, but I've had friends, call me a machine, I don't know how I do some things either, but it's all about just kind of figuring out a system that works for you. So my personal training hasn't completely taken off yet. Um But that's just because I hadn't had the time due to work now that I'm working only three days a week, I get to have an extra day to where I can figure that out. But the content again, I just kind of film it um all in one day I change outfits if I need to and my bed is an absolute mess when when I do that, but it's still good. And then with the roulette stuff, I have a separate day for filming. Anything that needs to be done, I'll drive down there when I need to, it's just about figuring out my own personal weird system. It's it's a lot though, but it is, but I mean everything that you're doing is something that you enjoy. Yeah, you're doing well and that helps, it's something that I enjoy. So it really helps, it also therapy.

So that way I can vent to my issues about something with somebody who has no idea or like has no in varying on your life. Yeah, just an outside voice, who can, who can help talk to me and so it's nice. Right? And remember y'all just find yourself a chef boo that can Cook 10 out of 10 recommend. Yeah. Are you looking for a lover? Make sure they can cook, marrying a chef is the best decision. Yeah. You know, but the food, here's what? Uh yeah, I got, I got my husband for his birthday. I redid the patio when I got him like a smoker. I cleaned it up and got new patio furniture and I was like a lot of effort, a lot of money for his birthday. But you know what is the gift that keeps on giving baby brisket every barbecue. It was the best thing. It was the best thing you've ever had yourself, my dear, you bought it for yourself?

Think smart, smart, smart. I have so much energy for activities now. It's great. Yeah, exactly hurry. What about acting in theater? How, how long has it been since it's been awhile for that. I figured out that that's one thing that I can't do as much as I'd like. Um, I have to kind of limit myself to only one show a year. And so I usually do a burlesque show for valentine's day weekend, fortunately I couldn't do it this year, but I'm itching for things to go back to normal so I can go back to it. Um But yeah, other than that, I try to help out at like local community theaters and um I will like help out with like concessions or help out with ticketing and things like that, just like kind of small things. So that way I can go to the show for free and like wash my friends and support them and still stay in touch with them. But I'm mainly just put myself through the vigorous rehearsal process only once a year. That's great. Oh my gosh, burlesque sounds fun and hot.

No, it is, it's it's really fun. It's really, really fun in Monterey or where specifically, yeah, in Monterey it's a local theater company paper wing. And they're really great. They were, they opened me with open arms right away, like, oh yeah, come on. And they accept my weird ideas. I brought up pole dancing to them and they're like, yeah, okay, okay, thank you for putting this trust in me. That's nice. So the acting, um the acting in the theater is that one show a year, so that's smart, You can't overdo it. Yeah, I I burned myself out trying to do it all one year and I had to just kind of step back and take a break and accept that once a year is what's gonna work best for me. Yeah, and rehearsals take like 3, 4 months, sometimes it's like a whole season. Yeah, and the burlesque show works perfectly because it's like a a show that we build from the ground up, which sounds stressful, but like you pick the songs that you want to dance to, You pick like the kind of burlesque dance that you want to do, whether it's a reverse strip or a bubble, like a balloon popping or anything, like you can like kind of design it to make it your own.

So I usually don't do group numbers, I just kind of do solo routines and that way, if I have to travel for Rolex, I can still practice like at night while I'm while I'm away and still be able to have everything that I need with. It's like a different show. If it's like I was in Rocky Horror and that's, you know, there's scripts involved, there's, you have to do a lot of group work and everything like that. It was really hard with my traveling schedule. So to keep it fair for everyone. Um liberal esque shows work really well because of how customized it is. Oh, that's what that makes sense. Yeah, they just kind of pick a theme and we go with that theme. The last one that we did was broadway burlesque and that was a lot of fun. Yeah. Oh man, and that's great too. It's bringing all of your skills together, singing, dancing, acting all in one. Yeah, it's a fun way to like, really challenge myself and I love challenging myself. Yeah, obviously and see if there's something you've always done or is that new for you? I started it in high school and I wanted to major in it when I was in college.

But then, um, it was, I realized college wasn't for me. So I kind of gave that up and the rollouts was doing really well and have always been like a natural performer. I cheered if I'm like out doing something and people are watching and they're smiling because of it or they're feeling an emotion because of it. I'm happy. So I've always kind of actually been a natural performer and um, yeah, it's fun and I'm glad you said that do because I feel like there's so much, I don't know. I mean obviously there's jobs where it's like, okay, you want to be a surgeon. Yeah. It would be great if you could went to college. You know, it'd be great to have that under your belt. But there's just some things where it's like for what? Yeah, for a 100 dollars of debt. What debt? And you're going to take like those two years. I mean nothing to you, right? Like English one and 2 and then you have to take a random religions elective or philosophy and then we have to take a lot of classes that have nothing to do with what you want.

I hate it. Hate it. How do you take that? Um, I lied to them for a bit um, first I stopped doing for, so I did too, I completed two semesters at a four year sac state. Um And then I moved to Monterey and I told him that I was doing community college but I did not do community college. I did go for one semester, but it was just to kind of reinforce like no college is not for me, but eventually, but they saw me still working towards my goals and they saw me kind of moving forward with my life and I'm still able to pay the bills. So they, once they kind of realized that college wasn't for me, they're like, all right, you know, it's fine. I just kind of ease them into it. Well it's a system, you gotta, you gotta play the long game sometimes. Yeah. And they've got, they've got tons to be proud of to, you know, I think that's probably like a huge thing about college with parents is they want to take pride in their kids, but you have so many great qualities to you outweighs all of that.

That's so true. But there's so much, there's so much to that. Like I know for sure when it comes to like immigrant culture, like my parents are not from here. You know, they were born in Haiti like immigrant culture is like, oh well you need to get the standard job that, you know, will pay you be a nurse if you're not going to be a nurse to be a doctor. Nothing else, anything else. He chooses a disappointment. Like it doesn't matter. But then once it's like, I don't know, 56 years in and whatever you chose a successful, they're like, oh yeah, look at my daughter, She's a physical therapist. If you see in her, like, uh, that wasn't your energy before, Where did this come from? Where you come from? Yeah. Well, I mean if you think about it in the countries that like, I mean the Philippines, same thing nurse, like these are the successful careers in those countries, so that's what they want to see in the US just with more money. Yeah. Right. But here we have so much, we have Hollywood, we have sports, We have literally everything.

There's a lot of different kind of things out there that you can be successful on the hard thing is getting to that point. Like it's like dirt poor, you're not making any money. And then one day it's like you've made it to the top and it's very interesting. Yeah. There's no in between, like, you know, like we mentioned earlier, Tiktok is a whole different world. There's tons of people that have done that just from Tiktok, just from people watching on the pandemic and now they're um, like one I can think of the off the top of my head is the Elsa chick. I don't know if you've seen her jokes. But oh, she's funny and she's the one that's always like, she says a joke and then she like choose her chips and it's a part of the punchline. Oh, they're so good. Like she had one that was like, I don't want a job, you want to do labor for free and then she laughs and choose the chips and now she has like a show, you know, like what?

Well, yeah. And then off of like Youtube and social media and like you're getting six figures a lot of these times. As long as you have, it's a wild world out here. You can't tell your parents at though they won't believe you, they don't understand, you have to show them like this, look, this, uh, my parents are kind of understanding how social media can be a job. I've been like, you know, like you get sponsored posts, you can get paid through like advertisements and like you can sell your own merge and you can do all these different kinds of things and they're like, oh, there's actually a lot of opportunity there. It's entertainment at home and you don't have to pay for all the producers, the tech people. Like it's a good point. It's a lot of freaking work. It's for sure a lot of work. But I think I think when you have this, this kind of a personality and that just knack for it. Yeah. And I think you found your niche for sure.

You're just gonna waste your time in the classroom and just like hate yourself and get in debt for four years and then come out of it like okay thankfully it was only two semesters for me man. Yeah that's my husband for sure. He went through school and like started as a nurse and then he's like I hate, this is my husband is followed in debt but it was for chef school so at least it's like still doing something that he loves but we've accepted it. He's just got to figure it out. Yeah. Yeah and shops are needed out everywhere as well. Yeah, it's a different ball game with the pandemic. So that kind of stinks. Yeah. Well I mean he's, we're still able to pay our bills and he's cooking for me more now so we're not complaining. We've somehow got very lucky and very blessed with this pandemic And fortunately we are better off we, I was actually to save money for once in my life and um even though he hasn't been working, he's still been able to be there for me, which is nice.

Well that's true because you're not able to do as much so you're not able to spend as much right? Yeah. Going to the airport just buying a bottle of water is like $5. Yeah. Oh gosh I've been saving more money. This is a sign maybe. Yeah wow. What what a wild time we live in for real, like honestly, truly time to be alive. What a time to be alive. As long as you're not in texas, we're not gonna talk about that today. Okay conversation. Please wear a mask. Even if you don't have to just please do it. It's fine. That's it. Oh man. So your social media and you're all over the place. Right? So that the post that made me finally actually just not just keep scrolling and reach out to you. It was the post you made about internet trolls and you were like, yeah, I can use my legs, who cares. Yeah, I want to talk about you and controls because I always like this is how you respond to them. This is great. Oh my gosh. So I am used to trolls now.

I it's just, it's kind of part of the territory. It shouldn't be part of the territory, but it is. And so I, I know like sometimes you just don't respond because that just adds more fuel to the fire and they're just going to keep being jerks and I have no problem blocking people. If I, if I know that they're out there just being a jerk, I'm just gonna block them and you know, they don't have to see my stuff if they don't like my stuff, I'm making that decision for you. But sometimes I can take that troll and make it a learning opportunity for other people and just show that not every military user is completely paralyzed. There are some military users who only use their wheelchair part time and those reasons are 100% valid. But yeah, I mean sometimes I get messages like you're a faker, you're using your legs, like you clearly don't use your wheelchair. And he's like, honey, no, that's not my call. Oh man, that's so lame. It's funny that you said those words to because I actually have a kid. Um He's like seven in a chair.

And then I showed up somebody like a wheelchair body builder. I was like on my phone because you know kids, he stole my phone anyways. Um So I showed him the phone and then another picture was the guy standing and he's like, oh he's faking it and I'm like no, what are you talking about? Like you the kid in the wheelchair know that you could kick your legs to. What are you talking about? A very interesting, so internalized to there's a very interesting amount of competitiveness and like I have it worse nous with people. So like some some disabled people won't give me the time of day because I can move my legs. But yes, that makes getting dressed a little bit easier. But sometimes my nerve pain makes it impossible for me to get dressed and like it's like they all have their own different kinds of battles and everything like that. I hope we can come to a day where we can destroy our own internalized, able ism and just not compare ourselves to other disabled people and be aware that they're all different, but they're all valid.

Mhm. That part put that on a shirt, I'll wear it. I'm just gonna stay in their lane man way, I'll going through different things and you know, what else needs to stop, we need to stop seeing blown up on social media, like other forms of media. Um like the inspiration that comes from watching somebody walk for the first time Because that also creates that able ism and that only like wheelchair users are 24 hour, like wheelchair users. Yeah. And unless magically someday they just like wake up for walking. You know, like there's there's a spectrum to everything including disability, disability is diverse. For sure. The walking thing gets me big time, especially as a therapist. And um yeah, I was gonna say that are struggling to find that for themselves and then their family might be like, oh, I want you to walk again.

And I'm just like, ma'am, your kid can't even sit on the couch by himself. Like what can we focus? I was talking to my to richard wheels to walking and I was listening to his podcast that he had before they caused that. But they were talking about like a lot of people who are aiming to walk for them, it's like their life has completely changed and they think that if they get there, walk back, feel that their life back, and we just have to show people like you can get your life back without getting your walk back. I mean, I could theoretically potentially get to the point of being able to walk again, but I would have to give up my entire life, I would have to, like in order to pay for that, the closest place that is for me is like an hour and a half away in, in san Jose, so it's very, you know, like I would have to give it my whole life and I don't want to do that if there was an easier way, I'm interested in that opportunity, if it reduces my chronic pain and of course reducing the risk of osteoporosis, but you've got to kind of figure out how to get your life back without getting the walk back necessarily and if it comes it comes Yeah, but like for now, yeah, definitely enjoying, I think that's amazing.

It's not, it's not the fact that like, okay, if you want to walk again and you're like, oh maybe this is a thing for me, like, cool, but like you said, like that's the focus, like I have to be able to walk so I can, what, so what, so what can happen, you're gonna, you're gonna take a step and be normal poof, like that's not going to have to be so many different internalize things and yeah, focus on your life first and getting your life back, learn how to live life in a chair as a badass as a cool person and then if an opportunity comes, take that opportunity, but it's not the only way to live an epic life. Uh yeah, I love it. That word normal too. It's just like this is normal. Like, well let's normalize. Artists look at all of these people that like you and move like you, I'm still doing laundry, I'm still going to work. I still go to bars when there's not a pandemic. I know I make mistakes. I I, you know, I'm still a normal person.

I just do it on wheels and I look good doing it. Yeah. What a big deal. Like whatever next question. Right Oh man, that's so real. And I have uh man, I have to applaud you for that because you just put that into like perfect words, the feeling that we kind of skimmed the surface of. But like those are the words right there. Those are the words. Those are the words I have some, I have some feelings that I have to bring out sometimes that's rough and it's so sad to that even between the disability community people are, won't give you the time of day because you're still don't fit with their idea of disabled. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. But I mean I just hope that someday that they realize that my life is a little different than theirs. But it's still, I'm still fighting for their rights And I hope that they fight for my rights too. Yeah. I mean at the end of the day, it's not personal.

That's, that's a them problem. Yeah. Nothing to do with you. That's another thing. Like and not calling those people trolls but like with trolls as well. Like one thing that I've kind of realized is like everything that a troll says or everything that's somebody negatively says about me has absolutely nothing to do with me. It has everything to do that. And that's kind of like what helps me to not feel personally attacked and to not like feel so down in the slums when a troll comes to me. It's like, oh, I feel bad for you almost. Yes. Yeah. Like I feel bad for like this is what you're spending your time doing honey. What's good? Like it's spreading all this hate like your life will be less disappointing when you focus on yourself and you spread joy to other people. Mm hmm. Yeah. These trolls and you can tell to, you can tell when some of them are just like they choose a hashtag and they just follow it and just go, You can tell because it'll be someone that's never like you look at their page and you're like, how did you even find me?

Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're one of those. Yeah. Just like they think like, oh, I don't want, and it's like, no, I just don't care. And I'm removing this little bit of energy. Okay. Yeah. So have you gotten the opposite of that too? So I mean that's about boundaries, right? Like the troll is like, you don't really need to talk to me, but have you had someone on the opposite end where they are full of positivity, but they're just like too much. Like always expect me to answer like, hey, Marie, hey, hey, Yeah, absolutely. I uh, I'm thankful for the restrict feature on instagram. I'll restrict a few people and then it doesn't show if I've read their message. And then, um, like if I have the extra energy, I'll unrestricted them respond to their message because I do still want to be there because they're still being nice and they're still being supportive. I'll unrestricted and I'll respond to their message for a little bit.

And then once that conversation conversation that I don't already restrict them so I can kind of like have that boundary and that limitation. Um, and then on Tiktok, I haven't set up to where nobody can send me a message unless we're both following each other. Um, so that helps with that boundary there as well. Oh, there's some good tips. I hope everyone listening took some notes there. We agreed to restrict people supported, be kind, but sometimes you gotta set boundaries and that's okay. Yeah. I mean you're on a public platform or whatever, right? Um and people are engaging with your content, but it doesn't give anyone the right to engage with you forever. Like it doesn't, you know, like you're not you're not a public servant, you're not a senator or something like a person, a person. I I spend too much time watching Grey's Anatomy sometimes and sometimes just need to relax and breathe and not respond to all the messages. Messages are a log for me. Sometimes sometimes I'm just like unread how many let me close.

Yeah, I'm good. And sometimes that applies not just the social media messages, but real life are in your life. Friends and family, like a little bit of a break. I just need some couch time tomorrow. Yeah, this is our future meet. Yeah. That that party. Uh huh. So we're coming up on about an hour. Um and we talked about a lot, but I just want to make sure there wasn't anything that you'd like to share with listeners that we didn't get to touch on. I think we've done everything. Um I would like to talk about the role. It's experience for anybody who might be interested. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's a it's the week. So for me it was that very first week that started the tea, but now it's become this event where it's all about women's empowerment. There are dance classes, there's a makeup seminar. There's um so many fun activities like a pajama party, um just like bond and connect with other women with disabilities and like have that community that we know is important and other people are really looking for.

Um We are aiming for it to be in person, but we are prepared to go fully virtual. We are going to have a virtual option as well no matter what. Um, but it's gonna be July 22 through the 25th and it's going to be a lot of fun. I will have a workout class of course. Um and if you have any questions about it, you can always send me a DM at Maria Trevino on instagram. Love to hear it. Okay, so the role, Let's experience So open to anyone or wheelchair users or what I believe, wheelchair users in person, anyone with any woman with a disability virtually neat. I'm into it. Yeah, thank you so much. Fun, busy person fit us into her schedule. Mary boy a These are wonderful days. Thank you so much. Thank you disabled girls out.

Thanks for listening to disabled girls who left. We appreciate all of your support and everyone who's taken the time to show us some love. Don't forget to subscribe rate already review of our channel. We're on Apple podcasts. Spotify player FM, google podcasts and more. You can also find us on instagram at disabled girls who left. II