Disabled Girls Who Lift

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E22: DGWL Goes Live! Q&A Part II

April 24th 2020

It's quarantine for most of us, and let's be honest we're not really that chill. We're going live to take your questions and speak on all things disability & COVID-19. Together on one platform,... More

this is disabled girls who lift, we are reclaiming what's rightfully ours one podcast at a time, it's mary beth Chloe and Marcia bringing you the thoughts and unpopular topics to get you out of that a bliss comfort zone. Welcome to part two of our live Q&A from last Sunday, please excuse us if it gets a little heated, it's our passion speaking and we're all experiencing this pandemic differently, but we're all in this together, enjoy So I mean this is a question for everyone then how do we get everyone together on the same page understanding how people with disabilities, chronic illnesses the elder are like literally have to stay quarantined at home, bringing those conversations together with small businesses whose like falling apart and relying on this economy to stay open. People who want this to open up, open back up but aren't understanding the consequences of bringing these viruses back into the public so soon, you know, without a cure, like how do we get these conversations together?

Rather I'm seeing it become a red versus blue state again, you know, everyone is dealing with this in the world, but I don't know, I feel like we have to figure out what's in the kool aid of some of these top people and start making our own because there are people out there that are just spewing absolute nonsense and people are in the thousands and the droves like, oh well, so and so said like there was a priest preacher or whatever that got arrested in florida. Not exactly near me but a big town because he was refusing to like stop doing church and he's going on the, well it's a war on Christianity and, and there are people that are right behind him, whatever he says, they're supporting it. Sir, let me show you how to use a camera. I don't know what these kind of people are serving in their kool aid, but clearly we have been missing it. I don't know. Yeah, Well there is some research coming out right now showing when states can actually open up, but it's a matter of how they open up.

I think a lot of people are confusing, lacking in the social distancing and lacking the shutdown to just all of a sudden really nearly everything is opened up. All right. Right now. The study that the projection is showing that California is doing so well. As long as we continue testing and continue using masks and social distancing, we could actually probably open some parts of the state up as soon as the middle of May and be safe with it provided you open and write things and people still continue to work from home and continue to keep their distance. So I think a lot of people are confusing the idea of opening the country back up slowly with simple things like opening up some of these small businesses too just jim's being open again. That's not going to happen for a long time. Um, and I think a lot of people are forgetting that there will be a low coming up in something that's just like any preseason, like any this season, there is going to be a low eventually.

Do you regret to the meat and go back to normal? And I that's what worries me more than anything. The slowly opening the country back up and opening small businesses is starting to have a little bit of normalcy. It doesn't worry me as much as people hitting that low and thinking everything's okay and completely lacking and putting down their guard hitting that that piece that's going to happen again. It's just like three seasons. And I think that that distinction really needs to be spoken about as opposed to just having a black or white, we need to talk about that gray area and we need to talk about what the individual communities are going to be doing within that gray area, how we're going to allow. All right, be vulnerable to still stay at home and still continue to that, keep that distance, but still has some assimilation of normalcy. Mhm. And I think having that conversation of all or nothing is not going to do us any favors.

We need to start having the conversation of wealth. Where can we find ways to make things work and how can we adapt? And I think if anybody used to having that conversation with us True, what's it like in South Africa Louisa, Do they have like a a plan for you guys? Is everyone talking about getting back or is what's the messaging that's out there? Um well our president put the country under lockdown for 21 days initially. Um you know he was quick to do that. Um I won't say I don't think that they really had a plan a solid plan. You know a lot of businesses were closed down. Um Small businesses were affected. I am one I am affected by this in the sense that as you know I'm a professional professional photographer. Um So my income and needed uh comes from I do wedding photography, I do event photography, I have a studio at home so I do um portfolios and portraits and all that all that has stopped completely.

Um weddings were canceled because of social distancing um groupings and all that. You know gatherings couldn't take place and because of that most of my events um and gigs were all either postponed or just canceled. I'm in a position where I have to pay back clients who has paid already um I have to, you have to refund which at the moment I don't have a cent coming in and so um we have been government has released or or um you know we we there is a procedure that we can follow to apply for government funding but I tell you that procedure is is it's just very very it's cumbersome um you know the documents you have to submit everything you have to do by the time you're done with that, you know, you feel like you're on trial or something.

Um most of the documents I don't have because I'm a sole proprietor. Um and I'm not speaking just about myself, I know there's a lot of small businesses out there, um informal businesses, people who's been, who have been losing out on on work and on money. Um you know, it's just difficult. So I think to lift to lift the lockdown, you know, we shouldn't be in a hurry to do that. Um you know, there's a lot of people living in poverty unfortunately that you know, when we watch the news and um you know, there's there's there are little M. P. O. S trying to to to feed people, there are N. P. O. S. Going into little infrastructures where they try and feed people try and you know, assist. Um you know, even government is trying, but they cannot cover all the areas and and all the little um suburbs of all the local locations that there are.

So there's a lot of people that I know who goes to bed hungry and it's it's it's very sad um to to see this, especially when it's been broadcasted on the news and you certain you in your house you yourself don't have any finances and you know, it's just said that you cannot do anything about this. So there were a outline on one of the news channels where they've asked people to donate money. And I think on last month, last night, um, The tally was on about four million rand South African Rand. So you know that they're hoping to start feeding and feeding, um, starting with feeding schemes and all that. But I don't think we have the capacity to, to deal with the amount of infection people personally. Um, if they did, we would have seen numbers dropping obviously. Although the lockdown has slowed down the infections.

Um, there are still people getting infected on a daily, on a daily basis. And, and as far as I'm concerned, we shouldn't be in a hurry to look that lockdown without having a proper plan um in place. Um, even though we are losing out financially, I would like to see this thing being cleared up. Either have a vaccine either have a proper way of controlling the infections. Um, you know, before lifting, lifting the lockdown and, and it's testing readily available right now in your state. Like do you have to, you know, be under certain categories to get it certain, um, you know, side effects or yeah, the, the vulnerable people are, they are getting tested. They're going into communities where they test these people. Um, but it's not really readily available. I should say in the sense that um, you know, we have to pay for it, you have to, it's a whole procedure when I, when I when I when we watched the news the other night, it was the documentary on this lady trying to get into um you know, into one of these locations where they do the testing, where she had to go in, sign up.

There were paperwork that you needed to complete. Um you know, this cleaning process. It's just all just tedious and you need to pay before you. And I mean not all of us have that money to pay to get tested. So we just, you know, we were just trying to stay clean um and not getting infected. Mhm. That is nuts to think that it has to come down to whether or not you could pay out of your pocket for it. Is it a similar thing in Belgium or or or is the is it free? Mm hmm. Um Well, okay, so uh the healthcare system here, um I find this, do you know what, this is actually one of these questions I find the hardest to explain to someone who doesn't, who doesn't live here because it's not the same as the U. S. And it's not the same as the UK. Um And okay, so the best way I describe it is um you have, you have to have healthcare here.

Like you don't have the option of not having it, but it it isn't like cheap. It's not like a cheap thing that people have. Um it's just something that's very much prioritized. The main reason why the main reason why my family even moved to Belgium is because it was a better healthcare choice and the situation that we were in was that we all needed better health care and yeah, I'm not gonna say anything about the english healthcare, but yeah, um so that was kind of the situation we're in at the moment, I have, I have friends in every different pot in the sense that I was, this is gonna sound terrible, but I was in a privileged, let's say position going into lockdown because I was already on health benefits, I was already on jobseeker's allowance is that's what it's called in England, but here it's called, so I was already receiving like a very small amount of money per month that covers my rent and then it was like a little bit extra for like food and, yep um and so going into this, I was already like, it's, I kind of, this is gonna sound weird, but I saw it as a bit of a blessing that I hadn't like obtained a job over christmas because if I had the system would have kind of fucked me over for lack of a better term, because here you have to have worked for a year to be entitled to holiday or sick leave pay, so if I had gotten a job and had it for two minutes basically gone into lockdown, I'd have absolutely no income, I'd have nothing.

Um I have friends that have lost the ability to pay their mortgage, they've lost the ability to pay for their employees. I've had a lot of friends who have been made redundant and what they don't have is this furlough system, I don't really understand how it works here because obviously I'm not in the employment system at the moment, but what I do know from the people around me is that it's it's literally like a lottery about who is finding resources to aid them through this. Um I don't think it's the fairest system. It does stem from the other issues this country has with kind of the rich and the poor, for lack of better terminology, but like I just said, it's it's like a situation where it just is so person to person dependent, but the fortunate side, I guess, is that pretty much everyone had health care going into this um or health insurance, let's say. So you get tested, you could just go straight and get it, or do you have to meet certain criteria? You have to pay for it.

Um So where it stands, it seems like a lot of celebrities are finding access here to getting tested. I don't quite understand that because the the mentality at the moment has been like, I've had friends who have had it, but they have not been tested. Um And the only reason they're saying they have it because pretty much you could, you could say they've had it like the symptoms they had, do you? You don't, I think you only get tested when you're hospitalized. Um, as far as I know, I know they have a big problem with like the homeless and stuff because Belgium does have a lot of impoverished places, brussels is extremely impoverished and like a lot of places. And obviously that's not the Flemish. I'm in the Flemish region, so it's different. Belgium is not the same in all these places. But what I do know of brussels and their situation is that the homeless people were being housed, which is really, really nice. But they could have done that a long time ago. And in those cases, I think they have been apparently they've been testing all of the homeless people as they were housed.

And I think that was in order to not have like a mass amount of homeless people come together in one small space and then just like fred the virus not knowing that they have it. So I think in certain situations they are forcing testing and in other situations, it's literally only when you're hospitalized, wow. So, I mean, what I hear from, you know, actual medical professional and infectious diseases is that that should be the focus of not. So when can we just open everything and go back to normal and you know, not. So let's open the schools tomorrow, it should be that if we have the testing we need, it's there and let's make sure that our hospitals aren't filled and it doesn't seem like anybody is on top of those things. Well still the idea of opening parts, that little bits at a time like makes the absolute most sense for states, especially places like new york California and Washington where we have just a high number of positive cases and I am, I'm experiencing it in that I run performing arts venues.

I I like rely on very very large crowds in order to sustain my work um but thankfully connected to the university, whatever they do we do and whenever there, you know in debt we just follow, we follow suit. Um right now we're very thankful that there is a hiring freeze, sorry, uh a layoff and furlough freeze on top of a hiring freeze. So my job is still secure except lots of people who still rely on being on the field can't find remote projects. Like I'm trying to find remote projects for my staff in order to give them, you know, a small amount of hours, they're still filing for unemployment, they're still looking for cal fresh and we're looking to support people um based on the circumstances, but it's just it's so tough without test with very little testing without a cure, like we just have to be okay with the possibility of not opening up until next year?

I think it's really triggering as well, isn't it? Because like I've been saying this constantly, obviously I want this whole thing to be over and I want, you know, all the really horrible things that are happening to to end. But it's really anxiety trying to like think about because if they don't have a really good handle on how they, no matter what country, it's all the same, they don't have a really good handle on how they end this process and how they start introducing like, you know, restaurants being open or gyms being open or events happening. I mean Belgium just announced that they have canceled everything until like any mass festival or party, whatever until like the end of august and obviously like belgians kind of rely on their summer so there's been a lot of hate thrown around, but I think it makes a lot of sense because just because they're gonna start opening restaurants again and like, you know, gyms and coffee shops and stuff, that's a very different thing to Tomorrowland, which is the biggest festival in the whole world, um, which would just just be and people from all over the world come together in one space.

So I think that makes logical sense. It is really triggering the, like I'm actually more, it's coming, it's becoming more and more of a presence in my mind, I'm like, when this is all over, people are gonna start messaging saying, oh my God, we can see each other and they're like really at risk person in the chronically ill person. And me is gonna be like, yeah, I'm going to see you in like a month because I'm going to keep quarantining the world, do its thing and you guys all go and do that. And then when you're all bored of it again, when you've all gotten used to all these things again, I'll make my way down to Starbucks or whatever is open. And I think that's smart. I think people need to make individual decisions. You know, when things do start opening, maybe the elderly, everyone still takes care of the elderly. You know, people that are more have compromised immune systems, you know, they stay in more. I I think everybody needs to not just say, oh, the government said everyone needs to, you know, take responsibility for their own actions, right?

It kind of goes back to what Carly said, this is all neighbor to neighbor. So like, and I don't know how it's going for you guys, but you know, like my county mayor is on a whole different wavelength than my city mayor is on a whole different wavelength than the state of florida. And they're on a whole different wavelength with president trump. So it's like everybody is, has their own, you know, one person saying, oh, we was locked down last month. What you mean? The next person saying, oh, we should reopen, you know this saying, oh everything's gonna be fine. Oh there's this paycheck protection applied for this. Oh just kidding. It ran out. Oh well try this. Oh no, well that well we don't think that's what that's because of the democrats, you know, and it's all this back and forth and back and forth at the end of the day, like I have to wake up and decide like, ok, I'm still breathing right now, what am I gonna actually do? Yeah. And the pointing of fingers does nothing. It does nothing but make people hate each other more and cause more frustration. I mean it becomes this comparison. Well, us northern California knows we've been being punished for like a month and a half now and these people, oh my gosh, they let Mardi Gras happen and oh my gosh, and in this country and I can't believe we're only getting this much money.

And then here in South Africa they're getting nothing, you know? So, you know, I think everyone just needs to take a step back and say what's the best option for me then for my family and then my community and then, you know, think smaller, think smaller and think more positive in small bits to help the bigger picture. Yeah, because we're I mean I think and in terms of triggering like Rose said, I think that's probably the biggest trigger for me and how I feel is like, okay, this is a first world country, but we're in the middle of this pandemic and honestly that's where I feel like I'm at, I'm defending myself, my family, this is what we're doing and this is where we are. Like, I don't feel, I don't feel any sort of comfort from the country or state that I'm in in the middle of this at all. I think, I think a lot of people are going to agree with you on that because for as much as I'm hearing people, I was talking to some people yesterday and these are the people that are at first glance you would think would say I can't wait for things to reopen and I think all of us can't wait for things to reopen.

But honestly, I have a feeling that when things reopen, I think people are gonna be a, people are gonna be more gun shy than they think they will be because I'll be the first to admit I, I, I started at a new, I got a membership to a brand new gym that just got built at the beginning of the year. I am going to be somewhat squeamish and going back to that gym when it opened, I'm going to be squeamish about going out to dinner. I'm certainly gonna be squeamish for going to going to say a baseball game if the major leagues reopened, I'm going to be squeamish about a lot of things and I think a lot more people, if they really look at themselves in the mirror and check at the gut level. I think people are going to be that squeamish when, and if this crisis abates itself. Yeah, and when, and that's a good point. What, what is going to happen for sports? Who knows? I mean, and not even just our amateur, I mean not even just our pro level sports, you know, baseball, NBA and all that good stuff, but just the little competitions that we're doing our amateur sports, you know, there's a decent number of competitions that have been canceled or postponed or pushed back and I'm sure even if there are still things that are pushed back, just, you know, july and august, let's say personally, I wouldn't go, I still wouldn't feel okay about it and, and not even in terms of that, I might not even have the money for it by that anymore.

Yeah, I mean a lot of us, a lot of us identify as being an athlete or a competitive athlete and I know some people rely on that to sustain a living. You know, they have, they have promoters, they have people who, um, pay essentially their income to compete, but we are on hold right now. So I think the great thing about this community is, we're sharing a lot of ways in which we have had, we have been adapting for a while and we actually got a question just now on youtube, do you have any suggestions for how people can stay fit during this time? Any fun activities you can do with the whole family or just how are we, if you're not training again, that's okay. But if you are or when you are, how are you adapting at home? Well, I'll say, I am lucky that I have a home gym, so I'm still training pretty much whatever feels good to me with my weights or whatever. What have you? Um, the thing that does suck is that I'm not able to, like, I just got into highland games and throwing sports.

I literally just did one competition. Like I just met like a group of people, like we just found each other and we're like, yeah, we're gonna practice every sunday. So I am missing that. So there are things that like, you know that you're missing and, and they're just trying to be creative and making that up. So you know, I'm taping kettlebells, I'm like turning dumbbells upside down and I'm finding like a random open field and just trying to do that and I know it's not the same and I know, you know, I'm lacking the community and whatever, but at least it's fun. At least I'm moving, it's better than nothing. Yeah. Well when it comes to families, like people with kids, they do tons of things. I mean you can just play freeze dance or now let's jump around like a monkey or what is, you know this or hey, who can run up and down the hallway 10 times the fastest or I mean, I don't know if we've noticed, but I've taken to Tiktok video, no comment and my kids teach, we all dance together.

You know, it's just trying to find fun fitness as well. It doesn't, you know, all have to have equipment or be a quote unquote work out, you know, just finding things that keep us moving that just, just keep our emotions, you know, get that, the good hormones going definitely. And I would say also I am taking advantage of a lot of the free apps and free trials apps and all those things where you don't need anything, but you just prop your phone up, hit the ground and now you've got to do something for an hour and then you feel good. That's exactly what my husband was saying that this is the perfect time actually to try things that you've never done because like there's yoga places doing free zoom, there's, you know, all these different things. It's like the perfect time to try something you've never done for, see if you love it. Yeah. And I'll show this on our instagram and later on the Youtube link, but disabled sports USA has been putting out such such great content.

Um, they've got a hashtag called adapt at home. So they do some live workouts from, no olympians themselves from triathletes themselves who identifies people with disabilities. So we'll share that as some workouts or classes that you can join. Nice and Carly. How are you? Because you usually cycle and train and whatever with a group of people. How does that work out? You're just going rogue. Yeah, more or less. You just go out. I mean, um, it's gonna be interesting running running tomorrow morning with a mask around my face because we're mandated because tomorrow, starting tomorrow night, we're mandated that any that going out in any way, shape or form in the state of Connecticut, you must wear them, you must wear a mask, you must wear some form of PPE. But one thing I did do, just just to have a little bit of fun. I organized my own, I was doing my own, I was hosting a workout. I was hosting a workout class, so to speak, completely unstructured on facebook live.

And uh, I like what Kimberly was saying, do stuff that you never did before just to see if you can do it and it can and it doesn't even have to be fitness related. I did poetry readings on facebook live. I just, just, I just decided, you know what, because when I'm not well I'm not doing a lot of the things I'm doing. I'm also a freelance videographer and an editor. So I was like, wait a minute. I have all this video gear, do something with it. So I was like, all right, just put your face on camera and speak your mind or read poetry or do a fun workout with set to music for, for people actually had four people who showed up for it when I did that. So I might be doing it again. I'm planning for a spin class next. But this is a I mean this is a time again. This Kimberly said to take that step and maybe maybe look at something different or maybe look at or maybe look at okay for me.

I was looking back and asking why am I, why am I training? Why am I training? I I took this as a time also to do a lot of reading about the sports I participate in how I can be better at them. And also since being, since being on the, since being on the podcast a few weeks ago I started looking up more information on adaptive athletics to better to better educate myself on those issues on those issues because I'm a believer that sport is the right of the people. Mm hmm. And any time that you can bolster athletics for more and more people, it's better for sport as a whole. So because being and also doing research before being on your podcast and also you come into my podcast. I found there was a lot of gaps in my knowledge on a lot of issues that I did not know. So I'm also using this time as a time of learning at the time of education and that can be about anything. So you know it's something that a good friend of mine was in prison told me you have two choices you can serve time or let time serve you and I decided I'm going to let time serve me.

Can you say that one more time? That's left. No, no, no you can either serve time or let time. You can either serve time or let time serve you. I like that wow, mm hmm. Um kim I am wondering what happened with So like I mentioned we all have different competitions. What's going on? Oh can you unmute her mary beth what's going on with the wheel word games. I haven't followed it. Exactly. Phone it. Is it back? Are you gonna go or you're not gonna go? It's postponed and hopefully hopefully postponed does not mean canceled. I mean for me it was just a really kick in the sad guts because this was the first year that blind and death was going to have its own division. You know I was just so excited. Um and you know I just love it. And so yes it was postponed and so we're just waiting. Is there a date set or is did they just say no just no date?

No nothing, no talk yet but staying hopeful and we'll just we'll just wait and see I mean but thank goodness. I mean if this had happened, I don't know, three weeks earlier, water pollution wouldn't have happened. So just counting that blessing. That's true. Water pollution was a huge event. Um Yeah, I was supposed to do um an all women's powerlifting meet in new york in May and so they pushed they pushed it back to december. So you know, they're still not sure about the virus and if it'll like go away in the summer and come back in the winter again, but you know, let's say it doesn't december. I don't know. I still feel a little well I just think like it's been like you said financially when we my husband and I own our own business. You know, financially if they do postpone it and how many people will be able to travel. I mean we have athletes from all over the world.

And so then there's the question of if they postpone it. Well, the qualifiers for 2021 are in October So are we gonna through the qualifier before even the competition for this year? You know, who knows? I'm just trying not even to think about it and we'll just go day by day, see what, see what they say. Yeah, let me just say there's still plenty of time to make history. I know we're all sad that our first Yes, plenty of time to make her story. Yeah, I was just really sad. You know, for that first week when they announced that it was not happening and then, you know, move on, you don't have a choice. So yeah, you know why this is happening, but it's still not gonna lie and say, I don't feel some type of way about not being able to do the things that I planned to do.

Yeah, yeah, I mean a lot of times is the way that we cope, you know, and find community because this is, this is how we found empowerment in our disabilities reclaim. I feel like right now it seems like once a week, I feel like it's on Thursdays, I feel like I get super down about all the things I think they're scared of it is, it's totally thursday, that's the day, I feel like sad and down about all this stuff, all the negative stuff and then I, you know, just realized, okay, I don't know, it's just once a week, I give myself once a week, same same, same, same catches up. So when the time being without any, you know, competitions or events, this is a question for crescendo, you've done some amazing groundwork to get adaptive divisions and strongman, like static monsters in your area, how can one work to do the same in their federations? Like you start locally and then try to strive nationally, how can we do that work now while we're waiting for events to start happening.

Um it's a little frustrating um especially with the competition's being canceled. I was just talking to the person who runs California strongest woman and sadly she works in healthcare so that on a complete hiatus, she doesn't have time to think about even adding it in back to division because she just said we have time to even think. Um, and as we've talked about before, when you contact the organization, the organization tells you to speak with the promoters on a smaller level, promoters tell you to speak with the organization and its just just run around and eventually you just have to get really loud and ignore everybody who's coming after you and yelling at you for creating the noise and continue to create the noise and say, you know, this is what we need and people are constantly telling you, you know, you need to have X amount of athletes in order for me to open up this division, this adaptive division.

And my retort is always, well, I'm never going to have X amount of athletes if they don't have a decision to compete and they're not even going to think it's a possibility. So it's gotten to the point where I thought about even opening up my own society or creating my own nonprofit to hold my own thing because there's, you're constantly spinning wheels and especially right now everybody's focus is elsewhere and you just kind of have to be a little pushy and be in their ear, but at the same time, respect that they have a lot going on to and right now competing isn't a priority for them and promoting isn't a priority for them. And you have to kind of accept that your inclusion isn't a priority because there's other things going on. Sounds really strange to say when you constantly fight for inclusion, your entire life and kind of admitting that maybe right now inclusion isn't important because you're not getting included into anything anyway, there's nothing happening but kind of setting up the groundwork.

I started drafting emails and thinking about who am I going to contact and creating lists and going through and finding reasons why this can work. So that when things you start opening up, you kind of have to bombard them with so much information that they can't get enough. Yeah, I mean it is frustrating to, we're we're in the 30th anniversary of the A.D.A.. Americans with Disabilities Act, we did this section 504 sit in to get, you know, discriminate anti discrimination laws in place in the US and we see see it so much in sports still, they're saying that they can't create an adaptive division or allow us to bring in our tools because there's not enough of us complaining. Like that's such Bs, there's not enough people who need ramps in buildings. That was Bs. So I think we need to bring that momentum back. Should if we need to stay just stood and we'll start here in san Francisco again, I am sitting on the Berkeley campus, we will do that all over again.

If we have to, I'm in, I'll join strongman, What do I do? Island? The adaptive division is so small and As a certain organization told me, well, we have three of five competitions that you can compete in in the United States, we have about five and it's like if you were to tell me as a woman, there's five competitions in the United States that I can compete in, would that be okay? But somehow it's okay because I'm adopted and why travel, hotel, everything and what would it matter if there was only two people in the division who you know, let's just have it place, you know? Mhm. But that also but also puts the impetus on able by the athletes like myself to put a voice to the, put, put your face in the fan and realize sport is sport and start speaking out. And it's the same thing with when that ramp is not getting put in that building building.

I've recently told, I recently was at a forum with the P. A. With the PSE and we were talking about this and one and one thing that was said at that forum is very important if you are an able body worker and you're not stay standing with disabled workers, you're not standing with the working class, you're standing with the boss and that's the same thing, if you're not standing with marginalized communities, then you are standing as a worker in this country. You're standing with the boss. It's the same thing. If you're not standing with, if I'm if I was enabled by the athlete or not standing with disabled athletes to gain more access, then I'm standing, then I'm standing with the commissioners, the promoters and the lookie loos and those are not the people I choose to ride with. Well, I don't think it's fair to do an US versus them. I think that's the exact way that we're not going to get progress. I think the idea of inclusion is to not say if you're not with us, you're against us. It's more to say, But Christina, that's not what I'm that's not what I'm necessarily saying. But what I am saying is is that when athletes come together, stuff gets done, and that means athletes have to come together.

It doesn't necessarily have to be us us against them. That's not what I'm saying. What I am saying is we have to come as a united front saying as athletes, we need to start seeing these changes. We need to see this. That's not necessarily us against them. Now. Often times the powers that be will try and set it is us against them because they don't want to do it. And in some and there are times when it has to when it has to be you have to force their hand. Frederick Douglass said it best power concedes nothing without demand. Right? So, I mean, crescendo right now, I kind of feel like you're talking over me telling me what I need to do as a disabled, but no, absolutely, no, absolutely not. Absolutely not. That's not what I'm saying. No, I think more of what she's saying is that you are the disabled athlete going to people saying, hey, I want this adaptive division and that she in that situation as the able body athletes should be holding your hand saying, yeah, she needs this adaptive division.

No, no, not holding hands. No, no, no, not holding not holding hand. If anything, no, standing two steps behind crescendos saying I agree, I take christendom's lead, but I am going to be that person that's gonna be standing, that's gonna be standing right behind her saying, I agree with her, we need to be doing this. Why aren't we doing this? Why aren't we doing this? We should be doing this. Why aren't why aren't why isn't my federation or my competition doing this? We should be we should be opening up our sport to more people not contracting it, That's what it's all about, isn't it? No, not holding up, not holding hands just the exact opposite. They don't need me, no one needs anybody to hold their hands, but they do need people need people to have their back. I hate playing that card saying like, well if you don't know what it's like think about your cousin who is disabled or your aunt that's disabled, who wants to play sports or you know, people making decisions for women and women's rights who are not women who have no idea what it's like.

So it's, it's more of how we can get that conversation together. You know, how we can validate each other, celebrate each other and and just transition our work to a united body. I don't know. I just love sports. I just love seeing as many people getting out on the field as they can and plan. I just want to see people play same, same, same. Are we gonna try to attack on any last minute questions or what, How are we planning on? Yeah, let's see. Some questions are coming in. Uh one was one last one and then we'll open it up a little bit for a nice little closing. But as a partner or a friend of a person with a disability or chronic illness, how often should we offer our help versus waiting for them to ask, Does anyone have experience with this, say, um, with accommodations or just general support from a family or friend? Well, I'm sure it depends on what level you're at with this person.

You know, if it's somebody that you haven't spoken to, you know, in a decade and they just, you just remembered like damn ship, oh man my cousins over there, I wonder if she's okay, You know, like blowing up their phone everyday. Kind of weird. Um but it's not hard to just send somebody a message. Like listen, like literally text them DM them whatever just, you know, throughout the, hey, listen, I know things are weird, things are overwhelming. I don't know where you're at right now. I just want to let you know if you need something, just ask me and that's all you have to do one and done it. Um Because sometimes there there are people that not realizing that just them asking over and over again is stressful. So you don't want to be that person calling every day. Um like when my mom passed the people that would call me every day, you need something you need like, yo can I grieve, can you chill? So you know, just just extend that, hey, listen, I don't know what you're going through. I don't know how it is, but if you need me, I'm here. That's it. The text messages intrusive. Yeah. And you know, it's like you're saying even right now everybody is a little more fragile than usual and you know, people are dealing with their mental health a lot, you know, that's a lot more fragile than usual and it doesn't hurt at any time.

You don't have to call them and be down their throat every minute, but to send a text message or you know, and something on social media and just say, hey, how are you doing if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. And you know, people are comfortable with, like I'm comfortable with myself and my disability. I would, I had no problems saying, hey, you're at the store, can you find toilet paper? You know? So it doesn't hurt to ask. Just don't be overwhelming. Yeah, I think like touching on that something I find really, really helpful in that situation because I can, I can be really overbearing is I always start the message with like, um, I hope you're okay and I like capitalize this or put this involved and like you do not have to reply to this message, but because I like to give that option that they can read it and just sent back an emoji or as if to be like, you know underneath right acknowledge acknowledge the message so I know you're okay but like you don't have to reply and converse with me because otherwise I would make them feel pressure and I would much rather have someone be a little more like, hey, you don't have to respond to this.

But then to ignore me completely. I at this point in my life at least I'd rather have somebody asked to help them to just blow me off. So absolutely, I love sending that. Like you don't have to reply. But yeah, and I love receiving it to like when people touch base with me and they're like, you don't have to reply, but this is just me saying like I'm proud of you, whatever. Like the nice things that people sometimes say to me, I love when they say you don't have, sometimes they put out there for other disabled people, you know, don't be shy than to say yes, I need help. I mean I know I used to be really shy about that. I used to just you know, push say no, no, no, I'm okay. It's like I felt like I didn't want to put people out or something is my own insecurity, but you know, it's really important for people any anything going on to be able to trust that people do want to help.

And when you send that text saying I don't want to be overbearing, but I'm going to the store, do you need anything to be able to say? Hey yeah, can you pick me up a bag of rice? That would be fantastic. Yeah, because you never know like that's I think that's a really good point out today. Like you could ask someone 20 times and in those 20 times not get a reply and then that one day that they really need flour or icing sugar and you just happen to touch base with him that day, they're going to go, you know what, I'm sorry, I've been ignoring you, but actually today I do need your help. So I think it is, like, it's been persistent in a managed way and making sure that that person knows like there's no obligation to reply. Like constantly remind them because I think that's what's really worked with all of my like chronic communities. We, we always say this to each other like you don't have to apologize for not replying. You don't need to feel any shame or guilt because you ignored me. Um I always say to people like, the only time that I would ever be irritated is if like a major thing happened and you didn't just go, I'm okay, you know, like just that simple communication.

But yeah, definitely. I think it is, it's like you said, it's really nice when people still make the effort. It's like that saying like I'm probably not going to attend the event, but I still want you to invite me. So I feel like I'm there or Louisa what about daily things? Like putting your leg on? How often do you find yourself? You know, asking or waiting until somebody asks, okay, I'm very independent. So I would rather try and do something myself before I do ask. However, I like to help. I like to assist. So I'm the kind of person who will constantly ask on your WhatsApp or whatever are you guys okay? How are you holding our house a lockdown treating you, Is there anything that you need. Um but you know, as far as I'm I I can cope. Um I think all of us can as you know, if I look at you ladies II were the strong ones and we're always the ones that you'd ask and we probably will be asking how you guys okay? Do you need anything? And that's what I do.

I don't know what the situation is like in your communities, but we have like a complete lockdown, which means that nobody's allowed to leave the house. So you only leave to go and get essentials. Um we've got military presence all over. We've got soldiers parading South African police parading. So should they, you know, should you meet up with them outside, you're in trouble. You either get fined. We had our neighbors got a fine actually for 1500 grand. I'm getting interest pop. So you know, so so in in my husband usually goes out and get what we need. I went out once just to get some essentials and um you know, fortunately the disabled and the elderly, we are privileged. So well we are, you know, we get to go into the shops. But yeah, so I'll always ask, I can't really do much if we go to the shop, I'll find out who needs or whoever needs. But um as far as it comes to myself, I think I I manage I'm I'm managing so far.

Good. We hear that one last two quick questions christened a have you healed from your shark bites? And rose, Can you sing us a Disney bit dizzy so we'll let you prep for that one Christina. Um, so no, they're actually much worse than we expected, but just so you didn't get, you didn't get bitten by shark. Uh as many people know, I uh, got an abscess from an ivy, the hospital didn't clean my arm well enough and I ended up with a golf ball sized abscess and my uh in my bicep basically I found it was so much more fun to tell people that I was bitten by a three tooth shark. I way easier to them explaining it. And um, it turns out that there's a lot of nerve damage which has led to not being able to pick up stones atlas stones, which is of course my favorite.

So trying to again adapt, We're trying to figure out how to stone one arm is frustrating to say the least. Um I can't even really wear long sleeve shirts now on that arm. So we're kind of is this weird, weird kind of like I would go see a pain specialist and surgeon and everything to see if there's something they can do and fix it, but we can't do that right now because it's really not a priority, but yeah, I think it's way more fun to call it a sheriff fight. It's not, it's not going swimmingly. Marcia is gonna be here all week, tip your waiters. Oh man. What? What's this about? Disney? What? What is that? What? Yeah, let's do this. What?

She sings songs online. So I think she's got some fans. I um, it started ages ago. I um, I started posting like one liners of songs but slightly changing them and seeing if people could still guess what the song was. And it's hilarious sometimes. Like honestly, I don't, I don't like to shame people so I don't post their answers, but I do have, I have a good giggle to myself sometimes because people get mixed up, but it's the same for me. Like I make up lyrics as they go along. So this is just hilarious to me. Nice. I think this is one of my favorite person. Yeah. My new favorite person. Love Disney. But the other day I posted two Disney songs and like to really, really, really like for me, they were really obvious. It was Hercules and Mulan. And loads of people message me like not knowing what they were and I was like, okay, you know what? Now you have homework for quarantine. Little people said they'd never seen Milan and I was like, how is that possible?

It's been frozen, but you've not seen Milan? No. Mm. Mm mm. Mm Yeah, just awful. I'll get them all right. I'll try again. Sorry. Oh no. They think they're gonna sing right now. Everybody already. Yeah, right now. Oh gosh, am I being roped into this? Okay? I can show you the world shining, shimmering, splendid over sideways and something through uh I don't know the rest of the words. Okay, That's the first thing that came into my head. Pretty good. You are you have to take care of kids. That wasn't a bad aerial. That was that was not a real Oh my gosh, that's Aladdin. Wait, okay, now you now you all have homework.

You have Aladdin and Jasmine. Not Ariel. Really? And you know what I did? That's the one thing, that's one of the Disney films. I didn't see eye. And what's and what's sad is, are you? And what's sad is full disclosure. I used to work for Disney. Come on. Did you did you lose the job for not having seen the film? Oh, no. Oh no. I didn't lose the job for not having seen the film. It was I lost the job. I lost the job honestly, for for liking the wrong for having the wrong favorite Disney film, which is what Tron Yeah, I said it is a Disney film, people. Yes. Okay. I now I admit I have not seen I've not seen this. Alright. Y'all we've had our viewers on here for a long time. It was a lot that we've dealt. We've covered and probably have this again with some more people, Some less people.

But this is this is all really important stuff. And I want to end it with, you know, we're all going through this crisis together and it's easy to get lost in the negative and the adversities we're facing. And um kim had a really great idea actually if we can go around and just mention one positive thing or one fun thing that's kept you sane and one positive thing that's come out of the situation, be a word, a phrase just alright, just a one and done mine. I found so and I found so much healing in the gardening that I've been doing. Like, I know I only watch it once a day, Prune it once a week or whatever, but that type of patients that I've never had, you know, I'm always running around doing three jobs at once and commuting to three hours a day. Finding peace in my garden has been the best thing ever. Nice. I'd say the best thing for me um is my husband is home and not too stressed to cook.

So I've been good. I've been eating real good. That's a positive kim. Um I think going into the whole quarantine thinking that having all this extra time with my kids would be overwhelming, but now realizing that I don't think I want to give them back when it's time for them to go back to school. I'm actually loving hanging out with my kids Louisa. Yeah, definitely family time as well. Um I agree with kim also thought that they were going to drive me nuts. And after all, and the fact that technology has, you know advanced in such a way that we can do this. You know, we're not lost. We're not that isolated that we don't know what's happening out in the world. We can still communicate, we can still do facetime and have chats and everything so we can still communicate. And that's what I love about technology. And when they are right now, nice Carly. I guess it comes down to one word community. I moved in with two of my closest friends in january to start the year and I feel very blessed to be living with them.

And at the same time I got even tighter with my family, the trans lifeline. And that has given me so much because before I lived alone for I've lived alone for like the last 2020 years or so and now I'm not alone anymore. And this is a perfect time if there's a time where I'm glad I'm not alone. It's this time because I don't know what I would be doing if I had to go through this crisis Staring at four walls alone, wow. Um Rose. Um it's it's funny because I was literally going to say and you've just said it, I live on my own and in like a tiny space. Normally I go stir crazy if I have to like spend a lot of time in my apartment. And I've always been like, it's so small, you can't do anything in it. And actually I've like really come to love this place and I really like just a way that I didn't think I would and it's kind of made it bigger in my eyes, it's teeny, it's so small, I literally sleep like in my kitchen, which is not a problem.

Um, but definitely like this, I've always been good on my own, but I didn't really realize that I was this capable of like being on my own and like prioritizing time and like making time for other people and just being a little bit more like open to things than I was before and so much more structured, like not that much changed when I went into lockdown, but I apparently now get up at the same time every day and I get things done and I have a structure. Um so I think it's proven to me that I actually have a lot more control than I, I thought I had nice kris Sanda. Um it's funny because everybody's talking about community and everything and when lockdown started happening, I actually took a full comedian break because I felt like for so long, I feel like I'm always having to be on, always having to think about, okay, what am I gonna post and who, who am I going to make this post to and who am I going to help with this and I finally said you know what, I'm going to take this time for myself And I'm going to randomly pop online for like five minutes and look at videos or something and be selfish for once and it actually felt really good and I'm having a really hard time coming back to instagram and coming back to the platforms and thinking of things to post because feels really good to be a little selfish as opposed to always having to be on always having to look like an athlete, always having to toss it in a certain way and making sure that you think about everybody else when you're talking and right now I'm just kind of focusing on what can I do for me and I think it's been kind of awesome to just kind of look inside instead of dealing with everybody else but once Yeah, that is nice.

I mean, I think we're going to take this time as I mean number one, we've got to survive, do whatever you gotta do to survive again and thank you guys all for coming to talk to us, this was amazing, thank you. Um So, I mean number one, we gotta survive if we gotta adapt, we gotta adapt if we have to ask for help, ask for help if you hate being alone right now OK, Maybe some time to think about it. You're feeling insecure. Okay, well ship now it's time to think about it. You know, you found some new friendships amazing whatever it is, this is like definitely the time for find out what feels good for you like this is the season because if you can't find it right now it's gonna be a lot tougher because nobody knows how to rest of 2020 21 is gonna go. All we know is that we got each other, we gotta zoom forever. Hopefully uh teddy bears and windows and teddy bears and yeah, and we're just gonna keep moving, we're gonna do what we gotta do. That's gonna be it. So thanks again for coming guys.

Thank you all for teddy bears with you. No. Oh nice. Never too old. Never too old. Alright, and thank everyone, thank you all for watching us and asking all those awesome questions. We're going to post this on our instagram. I G. T. V. It'll still be on Youtube so you all have access to it. Alright, love you. I love you guys. Bye. That was the end of our live Q. And a Thank you for listening and for constantly supporting us. We've also linked the Youtube video in the description if you want to watch us full and in the flesh, closed captioning is available on Youtube. If you click on the CC button on the bottom, right. If you want more of this content, send us a message if you need someone to talk to send us a message. If you want to continue supporting disabled girls who lift, please click on the support this podcast link in the description box and donate as little as a dollar a month. I want to shout out CAssie Rennes as also at Catherine's on instagram for her recent subscription and constant support.

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E22: DGWL Goes Live! Q&A Part II
E22: DGWL Goes Live! Q&A Part II
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