this is disabled girls who lift. We are reclaiming what's rightfully ours one podcast at a time. It's mary Beth Chloe and Marcia bringing you the thoughts and unpopular topics to get you out of that. A bliss comfort zone. Mm hmm. Alright, okay. Here's another episode, disabled girls who live, you're here, we're here. Thank you. This is Marcia from south florida and mary Beth from northern California. We are so, so excited to bring a really close friend of ours close now. Thanks to this community um that we have found and kept so dear in our hearts. Sanda keith, y'all you know her on instagram as E Ds underscore athlete. She's one of our favorite athletes. Um she's the second strongest adaptive woman on the world. You might see her out there competing at static monsters um which is strong man. She's a chronically badass ambassador. And another thing that I might have to ask you about your a Petting Zoo Shark survivor, Petting Zoo Shark survivor among many things that she's been surviving Kris, Sanda, thank you for coming on.

Thank you for having me on here. We finally get to do this. We finally get to do this. So I mean I'm really happy that you're finally on the show. I mean there's a lot of people that exist in the world and somehow in some way the algorithms finally aligned and we find people that are like actually cool. Like Alright, this girl curses up a storm Like me. She likes to live weights or her joints are fucked up. Me too. Let's be friends. It's great. This is amazing. It's funny, somebody actually asked me recently, they're like, so how did you end up meeting all these people? And I was like, I have, don't even remember, but now I can't imagine my life without you guys. Exactly. I couldn't tell you the first post of the first comment or whatever, but exactly. Couldn't imagine anything without you guys. Know what brings us all together is our unapologetic asses. And so I am curious to know though, because I don't think I noticed from your page or anything.

What when did you actually start doing? Strongman? Were you lifting before as a kid? Were you an athlete or how did that part go for you in high school? Well, as a kid, I was really into softball and then um in high school it was a lot of drill team, which is like part cheerleading, part dance. And I mean, even back then, I remember like we'd go to like the, the guy's workout room because the girls didn't have the gym, the guys did. Oh no, and I mean, I enjoyed lifting weights there, of course I had no clue what I was doing, but it wasn't until years later that I finally was like, you know what I'm going to try and go into the gym And of course, I immediately turned into one of the like cardio bunnies because going into the weight room was scary. It's full of nothing. But dudes and it took me a while to actually get into the weight room, it probably really didn't start actually lifting heavy weights until I started dating my current boyfriend and it was kind of like having that buffer of you have somebody who knows what they're doing to kind of guide you along and then I realized, oh all those big scary dudes in the weight room are probably some of the nicest guys I've ever met and and it was something that I just really enjoyed and then I started realizing, hey, I'm lifting the same weight my boyfriend's lifting and then it became, I'm lifting more weight than my boyfriend's lifting in some things and I was like, well let's start taking this a little more seriously and going to the gym on my own and start pursuing seeing what I can do with that and that kind of led me to going, well what can you do with this kind of strength?

Like is there, is there ways to progress? And I looked into different things and I just happened to stumble upon power lifting and strongman just, I think it was via instagram talking to um Going through girl clothing and finding alpha, one athlete, Karen and all of a sudden it just kind of clicked, I was like that has always been kind of one of those things you see on tv once a year and it seems really cool and it seems the thing that the dudes do and seems absolutely unattainable and then I was like, oh shit, it's actually attainable and it's actually something that's a ton of fun to do. So I actually really didn't start, like the first competition I had was last year for beasts of the bay and I competed as a novice as um they didn't have an obviously didn't have an adaptive category for me to lift in, so I just competed regular and it was literally the first time I had ever touched the log had ever touched stones and had ever done who's fl like it was the first time I had ever done a lot of the actual strongman things, but it was so much fun and I mean yeah, I injured the crap out of myself trying to compete regular at my weight class and at that time it was already an addiction, but at that time it just blew it way out of the water, it became something that I was like, I need to keep doing this and I think part of that is just the community, the way the community thrives on helping each other and bringing each other up.

Oh, I freaking love that and I noticed too, like, and I know Martha you're in powerlifting as well, but the differences between powerlifting and strongman the communities there, it's not so much about which Federation you're competing with, like, are you drug tested, are you not whatever strongman really, really encourages that community, no matter where you're competing, who you're competing with. I love it. A girl back in the day had asked me, I guess she has a certain kind of blood cancer or something and it was she was getting ready for her first competition and she was like, well, are they going to worry about my blood? And I was like, you're not going to get like, have you seen strong man? They just want you to go out, have fun and lift some heavyweights. They don't care how you do it. That's on you. Your safety is within your hands. Let's just go out and have some fun and see what, see what the human body can actually accomplish in these weird implementations like these lifts like what can you do how you get there there, that's on you and that's kind of fun because you kind of, you get some people who really take it to the extreme and go Roided out and have their own way and you know what?

That they're an adult, that's their that's their business and I respect anybody who's willing to put their body at risk doing that because I mean, it's not like you're gonna take a steroid and you're going to have magic muscles and magic strength. You still have to put the work in and I mean, it's a calculated decision and in my opinion, even lifting itself, especially if you have a chronic illness. It's a calculated decision. You weigh the pros and cons. So I really appreciate that about the community of you. Just, everybody goes in with their own adult nous and their own opinions of their body and strong man teams seems to really respect the autonomy that they, that you have. Yeah, nobody's going to go up to you and be like, hey bro, I think you should uh you done w with a stiff bar. Oh man, dead lift bars are lame. It's got to be stink. Like nobody gives a ship there, just like where you're going, you're going to be there. Cool. I was gonna say, oh, you're touching on some, that's the funny thing about Strongman is like, like thor just lifted.

I can't even remember what it was, it wasn't it over like 500 kg or something? And immediately we already knew what was coming was, Yeah, but can you do that without straps? And I'm like, dude, just respect the lift. Who cares how you get there. Like, can you do it without straps, Can you do it with straps? Like, can you do it with the help of a buddy? Nope. Yeah, I always get that in the gym was, oh, you're always lifting with straps? I was like, yeah, but first of all, can you even lift the weight that I'm lifting? But also my joints dislocate. So fuck, yeah, I'm going to live with some straps. Yeah, that is a thing and I, and if it's somebody I'm talking to actually like it wants to know about Strongman, I'll explain to them, like listen, have you spent all day doing like, you know, six hours of fucking event work. Do you think your group is going to be ready at the end of the day for the last event? Like, no, you gotta save your hands, that's the way it is. And then I'm like, oh yeah, I guess you're right, you're not just doing a squat bench and then going home.

Exactly. You know, I'm shooting on the power lifters that come and try to shoot on strong, very specific niche. Okay, I've got mad respect for powerlifting somebody, I can't squat worth shit, but just because I'm wearing straps doesn't mean something different. Better or worse. It's just, I have straps, you don't, you have better grip than I do. Cool, Can you lift a stone? Probably not. Let's learn from each other instead of like picking at each other and comparing the sports and which one is better than the other. I want to bring up something that you lightly touched on, which is injuring yourself during strong man. You know, there's this wide idea going around that people with aids shouldn't be lifting heavy weights, they shouldn't be in sports like para lifting or strong man and you know, you are thriving, There are times where you know, your your joints are going to be shitty, your, it's gonna be rough and often you decide, like you said, you are the adult who decides how far you're gonna push yourself that day.

Um, but let's please talk about how we got to break that down for people that are doctors that say they shouldn't be in these types of sports. And the funny thing is, is I tell people I was like lifting with threads or really just lifting in general, Are you going to start our start out where I am? No. So stop trying to do that. I don't care if you're going to start out with a £5. I don't care if you're lifting a gallon of milk or just a bottle of powerade. Just start somewhere. It didn't take me, it didn't, I didn't get to the point where I am overnight. It took me a lot of years and a lot of hours in the gym and just a lot of pain and figuring out how I adapt a certain exercise or what I can and can't do. Like I said, I can't squat worth crab. Um, it just, I have hip problems and I have problems with my ankles and so I can't squat. So currently I'm not doing powerlifting or I'm going to do probably a bench in a debt if I want to do it if I want to compete because I just know the limitations of my body, but that's part of the point of trying these things is you have to go through these movements and go to the gym and figure out where the limitations of your body are.

Because if not you're never going to push yourself and you're never going to really learn what your body can and can't do. You're just going to assume that it can't do these things because other people have told you that and that's a really dangerous place to be. Um There was one point that I was told by my doctor that you know things are getting really bad. It was soon after having my colon removed um from diverticulitis that I hadn't been back to the gym and I started kind of deteriorating. I was already starting to use a cane and we were starting to discuss wheelchairs. And that's when I found out my nonprofit amazing job was not accessible. They told me well if you were in a chair, I don't know what we're going to do. This is downtown D. C. We can't it's not like we can change the building so. Well it is exactly that's a whole different subject.

But it was it was kind of the catalyst that made me go, you know, I was feeling a lot better when I was lifting and do I really want to go down and get a chair yet. It would have helped me a lot. But I was like let's take a chance and let's see if I can go back to rehab and figure out how to get my body working again and wasn't easy. God no. And did it take this was three? It took about three years to actually get away from the cane and get back to normal and start to see some improvement. But was it completely worth it? Definitely. Yeah, I think it's easy for people to get wrapped into, like, a learned helplessness where everybody around you is like, you can't do that, and you know, this person is like, you can't do that and after a while you're like, okay, I can't do that. All right, well, maybe I won't try and then you don't try and then guess what? You get weaker because you didn't try. Yeah. And am I saying that a wheelchair would have been the worst thing in the world? Hell no. It would have been an amazing tool for it would have offered me so much mobility.

And just the fact that I had to work from home so many days because the building was not wheelchair accessible, like, and I there were times that I had to take sick days because I couldn't work from home that day because I couldn't take a wheelchair into work. So I definitely don't want it to get confused. People think that I'm saying no, I would never with it on a chair know that chair is a an important implement. And if you need one. Fucky I get one, I just managed to put that time off for now and I think that's important to delay it as long as you can because a lot of times it not only becomes a tool that gives you mobility, it becomes a crutch, you start to go well, I could walk, but let's be safe and sometimes you can't just stay in the safe zone, you've got to push your body a little bit. Yeah, that's exactly that learned helplessness, helplessness kind of cycle. And do you feel like um Strongman as well?

Like you said, you can't go out, it's not working out, but do you feel like strongman works out better for your Iler Danlos? Because I know for me, I feel like sticking to the way you have to train for powerlifting is very, you know, very calculated use progressions, there's rep ranges and there's this and that and to me like training for the strongman is way more flexible because I miss some things, it's not that big of a deal or you know what I had to lift that day, like for me it's easier to work around, Do you have the same kind of experience, oddly? Yes, and no. Um the one thing I liked about static monsters, was it allowed me to choose the weight that I wanted to lift at um in order to qualify and so it had that sense of power lifting where it's just you against yourself, whereas most strongman competitions, I think that was the biggest problem was competing in non adaptive was I'm lifting the same weight as people who don't have these joint issues because it's already set and it makes it more of a competition against you versus other people instead of you versus the weight.

And for some people, when, when the playing field is not even, it makes lifting for strongman really, I don't want to say demeaning, but it really just kind of hurts your pride when you're like, man, I probably could have done a lot better if my body didn't get in the way. Because I think halfway through the competition, I don't Oh, my log lost. Um my log dumped the weights because I was trying to lift around a herniated disc and so I dumped the weights, popped, popped my back even worse and subluxation my shoulder during the lift. And so then I had to continue the rest of the lifts with a shoulder that was not in great condition. And it's like, you know, if I had been lifting with people who were on had the same kind of background, would I have the same kind of problems with the it was it was one of those things where, yeah, I could probably do find lifting able bodied, but having the adaptive division helped a lot.

I think that's the biggest problem in strongman is we get very focused on it being a competition between you and other people when really in power lifting. I see a lot of times the really niceness of it is you get to focus on you versus whatever weight your body can lift at. Right? Yeah and there are many times where you're you're like forced to over exert yourself because of what everybody else is living, you're not setting the standard and I like the idea of setting your own standard but at the same time with it allows you to sometimes sandbag yourself. So strong man really does push you a lot. And the thing I appreciate about appreciate about strongman for E. D. S is instead of powerlifting, being benched, Squat, dead lift you end up having to do so much accessory work with strongman your there's no way that you can train for strongman and just do 33 movements and be able to go in and do an entire event.

So I appreciate that you have to do so much accessory work and have to focus on the entire body and every full range of motion that I think is really important for people with joint issues is going in and going well this we have an overhead press but there's so much more to an overhead press. I need to focus an entire day on every single shoulder movement and every single angle of the shoulder. And I think having that comprehensive routine because you know you're going to have just you mean you never know what's gonna come at you with strong man, you have to have an entire body routine ready. I think that's really important and it's really one thing that comes in handy big time for for somebody who has any kind of joint issues is not just limiting yourself and making sure to focus on that accessory work. And I think also it's the caveat is that everybody is like, oh well you're going to get hurt, oh you're gonna get hurt, like, okay, well if I stayed at home and that was weak as ship, I'm gonna get her anyway, I'm gonna get her cleaning my toilet, like seriously gonna take much.

So I might as well get a little stronger, get my bones a little, a little thicker, you know, get my left the blood flow, let the blood flow. I literally walked out of the er and stepped off a curb and rolled my ankle and had to turn right back around and walk back into an er I think I would rather have an injury from weightlifting than Yeah, should I at least I got a medal out of it. At least I took home some hardware rather than pay an extra $6,000 jim. Who, That's dangerous. You know how many times I felt because I I can't feel my feet, I don't know where the step was like really Yeah, just getting up off the toilet, like come on, come on, I'm going to lift some weights, it's fine. I'll be okay. Well and that's the thing to you knowing what your limits are, you knowing when not to push those boundaries? Like you also know how to prep for this, how to recover after an injury. So let's talk a little bit about that. How do you, how do you prep for strongman competitions and how have you recovered from certain energies?

At first I, I started out and I was like, you know, there's a 12 week program, I'm going to kick ask at this 12 week program and I've come to find out a 12 week program for some people is sometimes a 24 week program for me and you know what, that's okay. Um and I've learned, I a lot of times have to accept that, you know, five days a week, I would love to be in the gym lifting 57 days a week. It ain't, it ain't gonna happen. It's just, it's not and if I try to push for that one, the routines that I do, it just aren't at the same level and my quality of life outside of the gym is just diminished. So accepting that you're going to need extra time to recover, you're going to need extra d load weeks, you're going to need probably more volume training than you would want to have that anybody would want to have, Like, is it fun to do a german volume 10 by 10. Fuck no funk. No. But does it help?

Yeah, It gets you used to just preparing for an event that can last a full day. Do you need to have that stamina? Yeah. And do you need to allow yourself a whole lot of time to de load or sometimes just take a week off. That's really important. And building in time to expect an injury be like, you know what? I this 12 week program may turn into a full year program because you just never know what's going to happen. Like it's really taught me to be patient with myself and the same thing goes for recovery after, after an event. Like I have learned that even recovery after going to see the doctor is sometimes the next days in bed and accepting that that's okay. That at least there's gonna be another day where I'm going to get up and just allowing yourself to live in that moment of, you know, this is what I need today.

Yesterday was awesome. Tomorrow could be awesome. Um Today I'm really going to just sit down and watch netflix and that's part of my routine. Mm hmm. That's my left. Yeah. After every competition, like don't call me for three weeks. You don't even, don't even breathe in my direction. Like just let me just let me recuperate well. And you also have to like mentally recuperate because just emotionally, the emotions that you have going through there sometimes you can have like a lot of post event depression because it's just, you miss out on all that hype and all those friendships and all of a sudden you're having to recover at home. You don't get to see everybody at the gym. Like acknowledging that that happens is so important. Yeah, that's very real. And I think a big part of what you're saying is something that we talked about a little bit ago. It's just that self awareness. Like just okay, this is how I feel and this is okay.

This is what I'm going to do about it. Alright, cool. And just leaving it there because a lot of times we feel like I got to be productive today. Oh, what's this person going to think? Like, No, let's just chill. Yeah. The idea of like any kind of comparison is really the thief of joy, Like you can't just expect that every day is going to be an instagram worthy day. Some days you just have an off day or some days you have a really good day, cuddling your cat in bed. Well, that's why it's really good. You said to to find your routine, find a routine post competition, find your routine post hospital visit or anything honestly after work, if you go into work five days in a row like that's exhausting. That's, that's more exhausting for for some people more than others. Yes, definitely. And I do think that, um, so what you mentioned about, you know, if your 12 week program turns into a 24 week program or whatever um That's kind of what I meant earlier when I was talking about powerlifting versus strongman is, I feel like like those things are gonna happen for me, like they will happen, like something's gonna, something's gonna give, there's gonna be a week or it's just not working and I'm gonna be like, all right, that's fine.

It's okay because I know, you know, for me, competing within the open with the open weights is a different situation than for you. So for me, I see the weights, I'm like, I know I can lift this or I know I can't lift this, that's where it is. And so with my 12 week program, I really could only do eight weeks of it. Like I'm not going to feel bad about it. I did whatever my body could give me, I'm going to be happy and I already like have some expectations of how things would go and either it doesn't or or does go whichever way, whichever direction, like I'll be ready for either. But I feel like my problem with power lifting is that I would miss so much and I wouldn't be able to be consistent and then Pretty much the day of was like a 5050 crapshoot, like it was either full blown amazing or full blown ship can't get my openers. Yeah, I think, I think that's definitely one of my scariest thoughts of even thinking about trying power lifting is I worry about being able, getting my body too do what I wanted to do because some days it just doesn't listen.

No, no, we're not always on the same schedule. Mm hmm, definitely not. And something you had to do to at your last competition crescendo was like, you went into that day competing um and knowing that you hadn't lifted a barbell in three weeks and you just went in and that was great and that was fine. Yeah, it was and it's fine. Like going in especially because the last competition was just a, just a qualifier. Like going in and being like, you know what, I have a bare minimum that I want to hit and if I do better than that awesome. If I don't awesome. Even if I don't hit that minimum at least you lifted at least I did something that day and not to say that in the moment you didn't feel disappointment or you didn't feel upset. But I mean, are you going to feel that for weeks? Like No, no, no. Like was I disappointed that like because My personal best for dead lift is over 400 lb. Did I just barely get 300 and something pounds?

Yeah, because that day that's just how it was and was I absolutely disappointed 110%. Like I still sometimes look back and be like, you know, I could have done so much better but I couldn't have, that's how my body was that day. That was the best I could do that day. And you've got to accept that. And I feel like there's a lot of it where people were and I mean anyone could relate to that, but especially for chronic illnesses that people love to have like, like on the dime in the moment analysis like, oh well you don't get that actual because you know, like your arms are like too close to your knees. So next time if you put your arm, you know, like there's always that person that's like got that. No bro, you don't get it like this is the body I have today, this is what I got. Okay. Like just let me be in my little situation, I got this. Thank you. Everybody, nobody asked you. Also everybody, while I was lifting was like, oh, oh for your overhead press, you need to get your head through quicker. And I was like, but do you not see that my back is absolutely hyperextending right now and my knee is out.

Like there's just I would love to pull my head through quicker but right now and my body is like, nah, you're not going to do that. No, not today and that's okay. It's taught me a lot of self acceptance, mainly because I can eat, I have no choice but to accept that, but it's, it's important to learn that like, your party is not going to listen to you and do what you want to do every day. And in general, with chronic illness, if I didn't have lifting to teach me that, I think I would have would beat myself up a lot more. Yeah. And it's funny because, so like, for some people, I might be like the strongest person they know. So I might have a competition to be like, yeah, you're gonna win. And I'll be like, you know, just like Marcy and I'm like, no, no, I mean like, seriously? Like, seriously? And then, like, I'm okay with that chill out, but you're so strong, like, yeah, maybe, but probably not that day, like, my last competition, the month before I dropped something like £400 on my toe, sucking bleeding and disgusting. And then I got like, hand, foot and mouth before that, like, my training was asked.

So I went into like, this very heavy show knowing that I was going to do everything, but probably maybe zero an event, which is like, and Strongman, zeroing an event is like the same feeling of like bombing out your squads or something. Like red lighting all your attempts. Like, it's like, oh damn. Like, but like, I went into it, like, this is probably going to happen, but people were like, oh, Marcy, why are you just this is why are you being so self deprecating? Like no, I'm being real. I feel like zeroing an event in Strongman is not only like a rite of passage, but it happens so much more often like it's kind of like accepted a lot more than getting a red light for every single implementation. Like I feel like in Strong man it's like that happens and you just, it teaches you to really just have fun and I think it's possibly because we have so many more of Events in an event like it's okay if you zero an event, you could still end up winning the entire thing. Even if you zero an event 00 in an event like one event out of the eight events that you probably do that before.

Oh gotcha, okay. I'm like what do you mean? That's more accepted? Like okay, so often yeah, that will be like dang, you couldn't get that lift but you have some fight like you know like high five, high five, like you still get some clout for like at least you look cool lifting your squats like you know, most people like cry and then you can still do that. So for you guys though like okay, so we warm up in the back and then we have these attempts that we have been planning for weeks on end and we go on and we try it or we get something lower like plus or minus five kg, but for you guys, you are warming up on the event floor right? You go up in weight and that is your event right? Like I paint the picture for a lot of like straight to it a lot of times. Yeah, because a lot of, a lot of times we don't get a chance to warm up and there's so much time spent getting excited for other people that sometimes I forgot to warm up and I just went in with whatever I had and you're lifting alongside other people too.

It's very rare that I've seen an event where it's just you going static monster was one of them where it's just you going um but a lot of times you're you're loading stones while somebody else is dead lifting or everybody's loading stones next to each other. There's like three people going at the same time and the warmup itself, like sometimes you're lucky like they'll do like a half hour warm up time while they're getting ready for the next event and maybe you're going dead less. So I hope you have a way to keep yourself warm that entire time. Yeah, so like you can have so powerlifting, it's it's very like bare bones. I'm in flight a alright, there's 10 people in my flight, okay. I got 10 minutes after each attempt to do cool like you know when things are happening straw man is like, okay guys we're gonna do the log, press in 20 minutes. Ah warmup and we only have two logs for all 60 of you. So then you're going to scramble to work in everybody's excited.

Some people are like doing the most and you have to have some sort of game plan where it's like Okay, there's 50 people here warming up. I'm not going first, I don't know how many people are going because I could be in this lane and this person could take the full minute for this event or that person could zero in the 1st 10 seconds so I could warm up right now 20 minutes before this event and then in my lane all the teams go and then the novice women go and then the lightweight women go and then it's my turn of groups to go so that the idea of a warm up is a clusterfuck. So honestly you go into it, move your fling your legs around in the air touches, you feel confident and just like roll around until it's your turn. Like you hope for the best logs, the logs that are set up for you guys. Like does it go from 50 kg is 75 to 100. Yeah, the implemented. So the stones like that's the stone. Like it's not like there's like a set of warm up stones. No, you just scared me out of strong man.

I was gonna try completely. Well that's one thing I liked about the static monster event is actually, it's implemented like a power lifting where you've got three attempts for three different weights, you choose the weights, you can go up or down as much as you want and it's you against these two different lifts like, but like if you have a stone implement, technically you're warming up with your stones when you're actually lifting stones, because there's sometimes that you have like a loading event where you started like a £70 stone and then the next stone and the next stone and the next stone go up in weight. So you're warming up while you're going up and once you get to the £200 stone, hopefully the previous stones have warmed you up because that's what you've got and you never know who somebody ahead of you, everybody ahead of, you might have done it, they might have like a five minute cap or a minute cap to see how much they can do and they might be done in 30 seconds apiece and surprised you've got to go 20 minutes earlier than you thought. And so it's kind of one of those, you got to be ready on the fly. The hardest part for me though is just the fact of um like your body actually being ready.

So especially so strong man is usually going to start maybe 9, 10, you know, 10 30 the latest. So you have to be ready to go full blast. Usually it's either gonna, you're gonna start usually with like overhead or dead lift event, either a max or some sh it for a minute straight. Like I'm never ready, I'm never ready to go. My, my body is still waking up, I'm still stiff, I still got like all my nerve pains, like the first event is always like, look, not to mention you've got to be there extra early because a lot of times they do weigh ins that morning, you gotta do, you gotta have the meeting and you gotta get your shirt and so I mean the last couple events were there like eight o'clock in the morning and you start lifting at 10. But as a heavyweight, I'm not lifting at 10 and like just getting yourself hyped and getting yourself awake is always a problem, especially for me. I have huge problems in the morning and the thought of eight o'clock in the morning, I didn't realize that existed and you're outdoors a lot of the time, especially for both of you like coldest shit out there or sunny and hot and like you can't handle the heat tolerance.

You have to get hyped up, you're about to go and then you're going to do nothing for like an hour. Then you gotta get hyped up again, which is one of the great things about strongman though is because of the community, you end up just staying hyped up the entire time. But when you have any kind of autonomic dysfunction staying in that mode the entire time. I mean the come down from that in between is it's, it's exhausting just to be happy all the time. Well, so you talked, you talked a little bit about how important it is for you to have, you know, an adaptive federation and um, you know, someone who is adaptive also myself. Um, I hope that some federations accommodate me for however way I want to be accommodated in an able bodied federation. You know, like, I don't, I don't care so much about which um Right, right, right. But for you, it's obviously different where you would much rather. Um, I have that and I've, yeah, I've kind of learned that lifting on an even playing field much better for me mostly because especially because the events last so long, I, my body just can't go for that that long of time.

And um, because the playing fields already, even everybody uses straps, everybody uses braces, all of that's already a given. So I feel like the playing field a little bit skewed sometimes, like everybody is already using all the implementations that I would normally use, but they're coming in with an actual body that can handle this and that they don't have to worry about, you know, if we're going to do an overhead press, we're going to do as many reps as you can in a minute. I need to think about how I'm going to set up and I need to think about how I'm gonna keep my shoulder in its socket where people don't have to actually worry about that. So I think it's really important to have an adaptive division. But the problem is none of the both, none of the strongman corporations, I want to do it because they're afraid of liability, even though literally everybody signs the liability waiver and it's no different. It's literally no difference is blowing their calves out the world's strongest man.

You don't see them saying like, oh, maybe we shouldn't do it next year. Exactly. So what's the difference between me and somebody else? I'm not going in? I'm not going to hurt myself anymore. And if I do hurt myself, that's 100% on me. Like nobody's gonna sue you because they came in and lifted adaptive. So why? Yeah. So that's the main reason why I haven't competed since static monster other than getting illness, having the illness strikes. But just the simple fact that nobody is willing to have an adaptive division. And then they also tell you, well, I don't have enough people for that division. Can you bring people along? And I was like, well, how am I supposed to promote adaptive division if nobody has an adaptive division? So they want you to do all the work for them to tell you that you're not disabled enough. Oh yeah. Well, yeah, I guess. I guess you open that door. So let's go for it. I don't even know how to start saying that that I will not be competing at Arnold this year was not allowed last year and probably will never compete at the Arnold event, which is probably the biggest disabled strongman event um simply because they don't think they at the same time of thinking that I am too disabled, I may not be disabled enough.

I was told by one partner that I am not disabled enough, that my genetic disorder is just a symptom and yet the large name partner um told me, oh it's because we wanted you to be safe, We don't we don't want you to injure yourself, you need to show us that you can lift safely. And this was after two years, he's like you need to post on instagram that you can live safely. And I was like on what planet do I not post that I can live safely and you are not qualified to tell me that my disability is at anyway going to impede my lifting and impede my safety. I have never seen them tell anybody that they could possibly not lift safely. You don't see them doing that to any of the men. Yeah and it doesn't make sense because you could turn around and sign up for an open which is literally going to be unsafe for you and nothing's going to stop you from doing that. So why not make it inaccessible situation. It makes some sense and just spewing out bullshit.

Like some elementary bullshit. Like we need to see you post your list on social media to prove that no, just say what you really mean. You don't want to say, you don't want me here. And he was, he he actually told me he was like, you know, you you posting this publicly is not going to make me, is not going to force my hand and make me allow allow you to lift in my competition. And I was like, me posting it publicly is allowing you to say you're able list bullshit. So you keep talking. And then he blocked me on social media. So how am I supposed to send him my lips that allow me to lift? Uh it's so funny because people like they are so quick to say whatever, they feel like it makes them feel good. They're so quick to hop on their bullshit and when you want to check them, you want to put them out there, they want to get defensive and they start like either tone policing like, oh well that's not gonna change my mind or they'll, oh well you're being divisive, I don't know why you're being so divisive. You know, they start saying, yeah, they start saying these little phrases that really burned down to like don't expose me.

I want you to believe it's you and not me. Like it's awesome. It basically comes down to I want the cloud of being the face of a disabled strongman competition but I don't want to actually have anybody but disabled strongman that I think are cute and young and can continue giving me cloud. Like I want I want a whole bunch of people who are missing a leg then then we know for sure that they're disabled but you I don't know, you don't quite look disabled enough and you're you're not really the face that we want lifting in our competition. So we're going to find a way to keep you from lifting in our competition. But also like dude, remind yourself that you are not a medical professional, you are just you're just a federation. You know, you are just something, he's not even a federation. He's literally just a well known event. That's right, he's just an event director. That's right. You have to be through Strongman Corp but Strongman corp doesn't want anything to do with them.

They leave it all to them. So that's their way of getting around the liability there is by leaving it all to these two dude bros out in Iceland. But didn't he say something stupid like O. E. D. S. It's just a symptom and it's hard to know what you're talking about. It's a genetic disorder and well currently E. D. A the hypermobility E. Ds. Does not have a gene. So it's really it's much harder to diagnose not to say it's not genetic but they haven't identified. They haven't identified the gene. However their current um their current protocol for diagnosis has allowed for a lot of misdiagnoses and it's now currently a disorder that's popular to fake for clout. Um right like there's really no other way to say it that because of the current procedure for diagnosis it allows it to be very favorable. You can get diagnosed by, I just recently spoke to somebody who was diagnosed with this genetic disorder by their psychiatrist and the current the current regimen allows that to happen.

However which is why I made sure to point out to these guys. I have been diagnosed by two geneticists, a cardiologist and three rheumatologists. I think I think we can safely say that I have this specific diagnosis. I I think I think we're in we're in the clear here. However, he went to his current advisor who is a PhD who deals with mental um mental intellectual disabilities and swimming. And I was like so basically I could be telling people whether or not they can do this strong man because I pretty much have the same exact qualifications. Like he's no more a medical doctorate of PhD than I am. Well I think what's hilarious to is what these people don't realize is like. And it's the same thing when we when we had a. J. C. Cooper on here. We're talking about fighting for inclusion um with um you know, gender inclusion. It's like we're not we're not looking for athlete gratification.

This isn't why we want to compete. We want to just be on the same playing field as everybody else and have some sort of a platform to play with everybody else. Like literally asking for it. Thank you. And if and if you can't compete in able bodied federation, you want to compete in a, you know, an adaptive division or something like the strong man. Where do you what do you have left? Because they're taking everything away from you? Exactly. Well, and I was even told by one of the lovely cyber bully guys of well why don't you just go and compete in able bodied? You? You want adaptive because you can't lift able bodied. And that's exactly what it is. I know that you're trying to tell me that I'm weak and that that I'm just he was like, you're just fat and you can't lift regular able bodied. So that's why you want this adaptive bullshit. And I was like kinda yeah, like you're right. I can't lift able bodies, but it's not because I'm weak like that.

So, I mean, I'm sure I'm sure everything is just way worse because you're not you're not the right. You're not the right anything right? You're not blonde. You're not blue. I you're not thin. Like you're not no you're not you're just doing it all wrong. And like I could you know what's funny is so back in the day we had the doctors and I, we had talked about, you know, surgery on my hips and fusion and everything. And if I had got done and gone through with that, I would be able to compete adaptive without any question. But instead I have chosen to stick with weightlifting and put off any kind of surgery as long as I can. And that is somehow their way of telling me that it's not okay for me to compete. Right? Right. What, what do you, what do they want from you? They want you to show up embraces, They want you to show up in a chair. Like what did looking disabled look like to you. Exactly. That's exactly what they want is their like well and somebody had advised me they're like, well maybe you need to post more and actually wear the braces that you're supposed to be wearing and do all this stuff like you need to kind of play up to it.

And I'm like, I'm not going to play at my disability just because some able bodied douchebag wants me to look more disabled. No, you have nothing to prove. What, what is it who said that? No, it's not. You know, I'm not going like, and I was even told recently that given my just recent occurrence of substance and everything. I should have been playing it up a lot more than they would take me more seriously as an adaptive person and I was like, you know, instead of worrying about posting about sepsis and all of this stuff, I think I was trying to focus on not dying, I wasn't worried about trying to lift an adaptive strongman, I was little focused on being sick at the time and I have no reason to play up that for to please the powers that be of Arnold. Okay, so so people are telling you that you need to milk your real life things that you're trying to actively survive, you should be milking and instead the entire reason I started lifting was to promote that there is more than sitting in your worries and sitting in your fear, you can proactively do something else and instead they would rather you make sure that you acknowledge that you're hurting really bad and you're really, really poor off instead of saying, hey, I'm actually feeling a little better because I left.

Yeah, yeah, that's, I'm sorry, there's no perfect picture of what any disability should look like and then no circumstance, should anyone ever be like, well this is your life, this is how it should look like funk that. Well, the irony of the matter is that they told me that it would be probably unsafe for me to lift, but they have people lifting in the current events that are objectively more visually ill than I am and have certain devices that could make it quite dangerous to lift. I specifically took the last month off of lifting because I had a pICc line, any sort of pick or poured with any kind of overhead press or any stone implementation or even a who's fl is dangerous and you throw a tube into a tube for gastro resistant to that is what if the tube gets caught on something that very well could be a liability problem now, is that still on the athlete?

Fuck yet. And do I think it's awesome that this athlete is willing to lift with these things in their body sticking out of their body. Fuck yeah, good for her. But is that objectively saying this person safe? But somebody who has none of this stuff is not safe. Like how how does like there's no logic there and it just is absolutely bizarre. It's like when they told mary beth like, oh your hook is is a is a danger to our judges. Like um really like people that squat and throw the weight off their back or a danger to you. Like how am I more unsafe because I walk around with this weapon and I I mean we know you do, but we don't need to tell them, but I am the weapon. I am the one who knocks. Okay. It's just like when it's like I just, it just makes me so mad because people just don't want to be like just say what you want to say, you don't want me here, this conversation ends, that's it. Like, just say what you want to say, willing to have the overarching organization for Arnold Strongman, for the entire Arnold competition, tell you, well, you have to deal with these two guys, and we're just hands off, man, that's just saying that you're okay with them, them being able list and them doing this.

It's it's not, yeah, you can't, your silence is speaking very loud and clearly, and, and mind you, it's like so mary beth it's like having us A P. L. And us P. A. That's where we're at with our two federations, like, they're both the biggest, they're both like, everyone likes one or the other or both blocks, So strong man, corporation is trying to be bigger and better, like, the Arnolds, they have, like, even more space, like, you know, like, they're trying to really push and grow, but what are you pushing and growing for? Because if you don't want to serve the people that want to be a part of the growth and what, what are you actually pushing for? You just want money and that's exactly what it is, is they want they want the big name guys there, but at a lesser, they want some of the women there, and then at the very minor, they don't want anybody else there, they want, the people who can fit their agenda and make them money, so the big dudes who are amputees who are absolute badasses who you can put on a put on an instagram post and have everybody see them lifting without a leg.

Fuck yeah they want them there and they want them there now. But the fat girl who you can't tell is completely disabled. Yeah. Do they want the girl who's wearing an oxygen pack um who had yeah they need that, they need her. But then whether you don't realize is they're talking sh it about her the minute she's got her back turn because would she be able to meet I. P. Um the para lifting guidelines. So now they're deciding that they're going to take the olympic guidelines as their standard and olympic guidelines are very very biased against eller standards because mainly because of swimming because having something like E. D. S. Is seen as an advantage in swimming and gymnastics and funk. Yeah it could be like being hyper mobile could be awesome and something like swimming but is that an advantage in lifting? Fuck no. Do my joints terrible idea. Like it's a terrible idea and having a blanket statement that because it could be an advantage in one sport should should we allow it?

No, not at all. That's just stupid and why are you picking and choosing your able this misinformation on top of that because you just started looking up whatever serves you and then leaving the wrist, you know it's like it's just some hot mess, and that's and that's what they're going to keep doing until something hurts them, hurts their wallet, or hurts them, hurts their public image, like, because otherwise, like, honestly, probably doesn't, probably doesn't even remember that conversation. Probably went on with his day and he's living his life, like, he cares that he ruins your week. Like, he doesn't give a sh it I mean, it's been almost a year since then, and it's still in the forefront of my thought almost every day, but like, notice the difference between, like, how they respond to someone like you and somebody like, Michael Phelps who you brought up Marcy on the previous episode where, you know, he's got something genetic going on, but he has longer arms and that gives him an advantage in swimming, and they see him as this, like, unstoppable, powerful, like athlete who was built for this, who was built for this sport.

And if you've got somebody with the DS who was built for swimming, like, they're going to take that away from you because they say that you have an advantage because they don't want to see you on top or or my body was not built for weightlifting. So then I should definitely not do it right? What the hell? Yeah, it makes no damn sense. It's like, can, can we just live, like I'm going to pay my money the same as everyone else can I just live, like just let me exist to do what I want, take my money shut up, like you should be happy that the sport itself is expanding and instead you're going to make it less inclusive. How is that at all logical and it's sad, but it has to be a level of activism to get anything to change, like it's really sad and I've never looked into and I and I want to actually now talking about it, looking into how women started because women weren't always in strong men either, and I'm sure that was getting hurdle well and like that's the other thing is um the level of activism, a lot of people have fought, like I've like I'm still fighting really hard to be able to lift at Arnold and I would still probably want to lift but am I going to, He basically magnus basically told me that if I sent him videos of me lifting, there's a good chance that I would have been able to lift this year if I kept my mouth shut, I'm sorry, I just because I'm able to lift just because you allow me to squeak in and but that leaves the door open for you to do this to somebody else that's not okay with for me, like just just because you we're able to fight the active, fight, the ablest bullshit, you should not shut up and you should not allow that to be a caveat of you you being able to lift is good enough and if they happen to discriminate against you and you're fine and dandy and you didn't have to go through this fight for whatever it is and you see somebody else going through it.

Like it shouldn't just be like you don't have the Heidi Klum it and be like, oh well I had a great time on the show. I don't know what the black woman like, you know, like how that works and had so many words that that oh no, these guys magnus has been nothing but sweet to me, good for you, good for you because number one you're saying, okay, I don't believe your experience and number two you're saying however he treats me that's the goal of standard, fuck whatever happened to you, like yeah, you have a fun if he's nice to you, do you not objectively see what's happening to me and you're okay with that is you you I was asked well you're not even going to come to Ohio to come cheer us on. And I was like, first of all you want me to pay a good $1000 to fly across the country to come cheer you on at a competition, I'm not allowed to be in because because of bullshit because of absolutely nothing and I'm supposed to come and lift for you, but you can't even speak up for me.

No, I'm sorry, fuck no. And that's why that's why your fight is your fight because for every you know for every person that they allow, on they've denied 10 other people exactly to other people I found out that I'm not the only one and but they apparently have a much less mexican mouth than me because I cannot get my mouth to shut up. There you go. It's not worth it to me to shut up. Yeah and I mean it's the same thing with you know the Me Too movement and that like they don't they don't believe a lot of people who are speaking out because the celebrities or their bosses or their uncles like they saw them as their heroes. They were always nice to them. They Yeah or like the did you watch the Bikram thing? The Bikram yoga thing? Like the like that one dude that's like oh why are you telling me that he did this to you?

He's my father figure. Fuck your father figure. He's a creep. You didn't do it to you. Like I don't give a funk. I don't care how they are to you. Like it doesn't matter like how are they to everybody. Like just my experience really doesn't matter negative that we're talking real things about your hero. You got to know these things about your hero. Not everybody is perfect. A lot of the other weird thing is you if you want to call people out and you get all these little trolls of like, they're fan boys and whatever, like why is this just another person quite frankly, quite frankly magnus was one of my heroes, like, it crushes me. No man, I'm going to count and on everyone disappointed me, I'm sorry. That's the default. Yeah, because like it just doesn't make any sense to me. Like, you see these fanboys like um like you want to say something and then you just get dragged for what?

And it could be something like very innocuous, very simple, like, like when Khloe posted on Mex squats, like, hey, don't don't make that joke about fingers, There's people that are limb different, that could be offensive, like she got fucking hammered like it's not like she she didn't go on that page and say like you slut, you're the worst. I hope your mom dies in a fire, like no, she was just like, yo, hey, that's what you did. Yeah, that's what she got back instead just saying like, oh there's this thing you did and I didn't like it, like really know all their little followers, like, and it's okay for us to, you know, take a break sometimes off of social media to take a break from sports because it's the fight is so fucking hard sometimes where you feel like you're alone but you're not, you know, like, I had people telling me they wish I could die, they called me, They like, they would make fun of my quote unquote nub. Like, because I had attacked their, you know, their online bodybuilder parallel, you know what you do is you tell them if they hold their breath long enough, eventually that will happen.

Yeah. Yeah, like I told everybody that in the, because Arnold tends to happen at the end of february, beginning of March, and usually for that week, I'm pretty much radio silence because it's just a reminder that all these people who I really consider friends are willing to go lift at this competition that is actively like this, and especially once I found out that I am not the only person that this has happened to, it just happens to be that I'm the loudest voice write, something needs to change. And obviously there's a lot of people who are a little more concerned with their ability to lift than actually changing. Yeah, I mean, people just don't like to be uncomfortable, like, they like to stay in their comfort zones, that they're happy place, They don't want to rock the boat, but like, I'm sorry, nothing changes, nothing will be equitable for anyone if we're all just comfortable. Yeah, and I'm sorry if if one person isn't allowed to lift, then I don't think that you should lift.

Yeah, like this whole, like, the whole situation with you and us a pl mary beth and like J C with us Mp, like, they're never getting my money again. Yeah, and that's like an easy decision for me. Easy, simple. Like why? Why would I like I was already like not happy with the way they ran business anyway. Right? Oh trust me. Oh my God. And I'm just happy that it has garnered that in for that type of, you know, activism this year, the last two years because when this was happening to me and I was so ready to go to USA Pl nationals, I fucking booked my hotels, my flights, I booked everybody's Airbnb s and I was, you know, hyped up to take my team out there and to get that notification just weeks prior. Like, no, no, you can't compete because you're a liability held. I am still salty with us. When people talk about that federation like, I mean I had and my team went without me. Like yeah my team went without me and they're like, you want to come, are you sure you don't want to come?

Like I had I had the, the way I found out was it was literally the night before they completely finished finished registration, everything was done. And a friend of mine was like, well you can pretty much they haven't told you that you're not in. So let's safely say that you're in, go ahead and tell your sponsors and go ahead and start the fundraiser so that you could fly across country to do this. And literally the day of he told me, oh no, you're not approved and there's no time for you to contest it either? So what are you supposed to do with that? It is seriously just a game to them. Yeah. And of course you contact the overarching organization for Arnold and they're like, no, that we don't have anything to do with that. And I was like, well they're lifting at your event. So how do you not have anything to do with that? Mm hmm. So yeah, I think the same thing with the International Federation. I was like, the national federation is not responding to me. They're not they're not been considering my plea.

What are you going to do about it? Nothing. That was one of the really interesting things is out here. There's a much much much smaller federation that was started locally. And I asked him, I was like, so are you guys willing to do adaptive? And he's like, well what do you need? And I was like basically just straps in like an extra 30 seconds to just put the straps on. He's like sold, no problem, no questions or nothing. Not, not even asked of well what's your medical diagnosis? And I was like, well here's my here's my papers. He's like, I don't, I don't need it. I believe you submit the paperwork when we need it. But he's like you don't have to do that ahead of time. And I was like, how fucking hard was that? Alright. So well, so why don't we find those really good good groups that, you know, are easily accessible and super open to adaptive athletes. Like we're still working hard for the U. Fuckers that we don't want to give our money to because we still need to fight for everybody else. That's been to. I asked one of my one of my favorite promoters out here um I was like, so I've made it a point this this next year after everything that happened last year that I'm not going to do competitions if they're not if you don't have an adaptive division for me.

And I asked him and I was like, so do you have the ability to make an adaptive division? He's like, well, I need to talk to Strongman Corporation who basically says, oh we don't deal with that, we don't do any of that. So it's like everybody's passing the ball going, oh I don't know how to do that. Whereas it's literally you can you can create another division for super heavyweight, but you can't create another division for lightweight. Yeah, I could write it out for you. Let me let me just, right, you can create all these weight, competent divisions, but you can't have one for adaptive because why? Or you could just ask us how you can be accommodating for us. You know what I mean? I was told that I basically need to start doing my own promotions and creating my own division and doing all this myself and I was like, but I don't want to do, I just want to lift like why can't you, I I shouldn't be having to do your job for you. Like I shouldn't have to create my own corporation for adaptive lifters because the current corporations are bullshit and and I'm sure that's why, you know, really great organizations like wheel wad or paralympic paralympics exists.

But to hear from some of the organizers of our own sport that they're pushing us off of that too, I heard from international or iptF that, oh have you considered paralympics? You could just compete in powerlifting there. I'm like, whoa, wait a minute! You know what's funny is there just as a journalist about eller stand close as the rest of them? Ah sadly like well and it's literally in the I. P. F. Notes that hypermobility won't automatically qualify you and if you actually come in saying I have Ehlers Danlos, they will pretty much disqualify you. But if you come in and meet with the doctor and actually show the problems you're probably going to get in, wow, it's a scarlet letter and I think that's absolutely unacceptable. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense at all. And I don't think people realize like, like yeah my my joints are shitty, but like it's because my collagen is shitty and guess what collagen is everywhere.

It's more than just being flexible, I wish it was just flexible. Yeah. Like it's it's oh my gosh like like like the the thought of oh you're it's just because your joints are extra mobile, you're just double jointed. I was like oh that's why I lost my colon to was my colon double jointed. Oh it makes no sense. Oh man it's just a hot hot mess express. So I mean like I say all the time I'm officially undiagnosed and like that's fine with me because I don't need to prove anything to anyone or whatever. But like I I know for a fact that I do have a lead analyst hypermobility and like sometimes I come across some of these like research studies and like I read stuff a lot and I actually read the sentence and I was like like I highlighted it and screenshot it because I was like holy sh it this is my life. Like like I'm gonna pull it up, pull it like it's it's literally like a research say it talks about like all the ships that you go through. Like the G. I. Problems like constipation, like your joint sense, funked up headaches, all of that, right?

And then the other sentence it's like E. Ds patients may see multiple sub specialist so I did that without realizing a connection between their joint systems and multiple other involvements and systems. Or I did that. They're often dismisses hypochondriacs definitely and report feelings of isolation from lack of diagnosis totally. Like like every time I feel some type of way like I look at this and I'm like somebody saw me and then sometimes it's passing out after a workout not knowing why. Yeah but that's not normal. Yeah. We're just excited. I don't understand. Yeah. Just dramatic some ship. But yeah if you tell somebody that that's if you come up to them like yeah that's like that's my main entree diagnosis there. Just like I don't know you look fine. Well yeah it's so strange because um they're currently testing cause we blame a lot on E.

D. S. Especially in my body. And so we're like well what if what if it's something else so that we're currently going through all the M. S. And other diagnoses tests because there are very similar but if you have M. S. It's completely accepted if you have E. D. S. Do you really are are we sure about that? And it's like you know the testing is similar. The outcomes are very similar and the especially for somebody with M. S. The a lot of the initial diagnoses it can be very just a clinical diagnosis until some of the brain lesions starts showing or other other very yeah. So how is that any different? But it's just because M. S. Is very well known and I was like that's that's really ridiculous. Like it's it's just absolutely insane how how many hoops you have to jump through. And I know of one athlete who actually doesn't even bother saying that she has E.

Ds. Because it's just not worth it to her. It's just it's well and it ends up bringing more hate than it does actual understanding because there's just so much questions with it that people would rather leave it as undiagnosed and actually say what they have, right? And it's funny that you mentioned the M. S. Because we're like early on, like that's what people thought I had and I did all the testing. They're like, oh I guess not. But that's still what I would use. Like if somebody like my uncle's like, oh what's going on? I'm like um well if you google M. S. And like all those problems I have those problems but I don't have M. S. Exactly. I still I still leave fibromyalgia, I still leave fibromyalgia on my diagnosis even though it's a diagnosis of exclusion. So if you have E. D. S. You're technically not supposed to have fibromyalgia and but I still leave it on the list because people at least understand that and people at least accept that and there's medication actually that will treat the chronic pain with fibromyalgia but not other things and I was like that's really ridiculous.

But anyway, so I don't want to end like that. So what is 2020 positive outlook? What's what's happening, what are we gonna do? We know we talked about what we're not gonna do Yeah, we're not going to do is go to Arnold's or funk with the Arnolds, so I'm not gonna do, what are we gonna, I am going to continue being loud as shit and speaking for anybody who's being loud as sh it brings a lot of hate and I'm like dude, my name is chris endure if you want to talk to me, I pretty much the only person on the planet with that name, so go the puck ahead, I figured the least I can do is be that loud mouth for the people who are scared, who are a little more afraid of being that loud mouth, Like I would rather speak up for the people who can't speak up for themselves because they're afraid of what's coming after it, because there is so much negativity if you have the balls to speak up that I would rather say that I am in a place in my life where I am comfortable with myself and comfortable in my relationships and comfortable in my abilities that if you want to talk sh it about me online, then you go right ahead and not everybody can do that.

So I think it's our job to continue to be allowed for the people who Don't have that stability in their life, so hopefully 2020 brings, brings a lot more loudness from the people who are able to be loud, so something like a movement, who knows, maybe, well we're with you wherever wherever that goes well with you. Well, that that's part of the great thing about communities like this is that we end up standing together because we have no other choice really. If you want to talk sh it and be angry, it's you guys are the reason that we exist. Communities like this exist is because you forced us to bound together get angry. So if you want to blame somebody for being a community of angry bitches, blame yourself. You made us angry. It's not my fault. It's not much. I just want to, I just want to lift more weight than you and you guys just keep running your mouth.

So what am I supposed to do? You won't let me lift the weight. So I guess I got to join you in running your mouth like that And don't forget to pay me seriously. I could, I will happily take your donations to mm hmm. Well you can follow christendom and all her adventures on her instagram. Uh, or anybody else with stds out there going through it or any other strongman people that are sitting on it. Let us know because we're starting, we're, you know, we're starting some sort of a movement. Welcome to join and don't whisper it either we want to hear so that we can respond. You definitely need to be loud, be loud and be proud guys, disabled girls out. Thanks for listening to disabled girls who left. We appreciate all of your support and everyone who has taken the time to show us some love. Don't forget to subscribe, rate already, review of our channel. We're on Apple podcasts, Spotify player, FM, google podcasts and more.

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