Disabled Girls Who Lift

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E56: Panel of Spoons Reunion!

November 29th 2021

The panel of spoons reunites with a few fresh faces and a couple of podcast veterans to discuss life after diagnosis, competing after coronavirus, and the tolls of adulting on our chronically ill b... More

this is disabled girls who lift, We are reclaiming what's rightfully ours. One podcast at a time. It's mary beth Chloe and Marcia bringing you the thoughts and unpopular topics to get you out of that. A bliss comfort zone. Mhm, mm hmm. All right, Fantastic. Welcome to another episode of disabled girls who live panel spoons back in the building. Mary Beth is not with us today, but this is Marsha sitting on Seminole tribe land in south florida. She, they, I am a black family wearing clear glasses, blue shirt sitting in front of a colorful wall. I will call out our panelists of the day and they will introduce themselves 1st. We have Christina. Hi, good morning afternoon, whatever, whatever it is. So I'm Christina. She hers, I am a mexican female sitting in southern California green shirt, black hair blurred background and ready to chat.

Yeah, perfect. And we have joe hi, I am, my name is joe. My pronouns are she? They, I am a white thumb, I'm wearing glasses, uh tie dye shirt, I have tattoos and I'm sitting in front of a bookshelf. Going to be here. Fantastic. We have Rebecca. It's I am Rebecca. Um, I'm here on Shinnecock land. I'm also Shinnecock here from the on territory. Um, I have on a pink sweatshirt and my glasses are reflecting really bad on the camera and um I am sitting in like in front of a door in a closet and stuff. Great, grand grand. Perfect Bridget Hey guys, I'm Bridget, I am in north Carolina. I'm a white female and I'm sitting in a green room and I think you can see my blood pressure cuff behind me. So keep it to meet you, keeping it classy nice to have you.

Um So everyone else you should know from previous podcast episodes of Bridget is new and last but not least we have slavia, which I'm working hard to say correctly. That was, that was the best yet. Dude, I am shafia, I am an indian american woman. My pronouns are she? Her? I'm in the bologna land um which is also the bay area California. I have black hair, brown skin, brown glasses. And I'm sitting in my new dream armchair. That's black and white for mike. I'm very excited about it. The dream armchair? I'm with it. Um so it's been, you know, a time we're still in a whole last pandemic. Somebody all recorded episodes uh during the pandemic. I think somebody all slit in before that ever started. So maybe we should start with that. I'm pretty sure crescendos before. I'm not sure if shrub yo was so let's check in with kristen because Mhm.

What are you doing a minute. What are you, what are you doing the last, we knew you had kittens, you had some kittens you were doing? You know you were fighting with some strongman admins who were like totally awesome bullshit and trying to find a nice job. So where you at, let's see. So last time we checked in, I was still living in northern cow, I'm now in Southern cow by the beach, so much happier there. Um Mhm. I got my own apartment now with with the partner, so we're down to just our cats, no kittens, although I do apologize if the cat winds in the background. Um Yeah, Strongman still not allowed to lift at Arnold's. Um I was the Arnolds, that's what it was. Yeah, it was Arnold's um still blocked by magnus ver Magnusson, which is like a pride part on my like now it's just like a label ever cried.

Should be in your bile, blocked them on. Um Let's see, uh did not lift this year for static monsters, and it turns out there were a whole one, one female lifted for adaptive, so definitely one of those things that's looming in the background of how do we get more adaptive females to lift? Strongman and dana is retired. I took a break and now we're all kind of like, I don't know who else is out there. This was just so static monsters as uh folks don't know, first of all, Strongman does everybody know strongman is? Okay, let's make sure we're on the same page. You looked weird things up, you put weird things down, right, Like it's not like power lifting where it's a standard Bar Bell or like Oli where it's like Bar Bell, Strongman is like apparatus um and static monster is different because it's like on the same day at different locations, people are doing max log and max what dead lift or wagon.

Well, yeah, it's an actual uh something right, dead lift. Right, right, right, so then for that event super cool. There was adaptive division, Great, but nobody uh nobody wants to lift. Yeah, it's it's the biggest conundrum because you know, as I've been told, I uh I don't have a marketable look is what some of us have been told that I don't play up being ill enough so it makes it harder for me to market to adaptive lifters apparently. And I mean I took what almost over a year off of social media, so I don't really have the following anymore to market, but there's just nobody wants to lift adaptive for a strong man because I don't think they realize that we can for one.

But I mean in the United States we have static monsters. America's strongest to say person with disabilities and then Arnold Arnold is run by a person. We'll just leave it at that. A a person and um America's strongest is in Ohio, Arnold's in Ohio and static Monsters is once a year. So we have all of three competitions to live that directed more specifically. Yeah, so it comes back to the conundrum of, how do you get promoters to provides you with an adaptive category? Well you have to have adaptive lifters, but in order to have adaptive lifters, you have to have a category for them to know that they can lift adaptive in order to get a category, you have to have the lifters already. And so it's still struggling with that. Yeah, I mean it's like so dumb because how many years ago where there no women lifting at all any category and they're not anywhere near like having an MX division, anything like that.

So we're not talking about that. But um just women in the sport is new and y'all could chime in at any time you want by the way, a mute put your two cents in. But I would think in a pandemic no less there's gonna be less adaptive people because we got no money and we don't want to be breathed on a question. So strong man does have like adaptive divisions and stuff like that. No uh static monsters is the only one that has gone out of their way to have an adaptive division that lifts right alongside everybody else. I take it back. There is one in colorado called Crown Mountain and they have invited me a couple of times. They're wonderful. But of course you have to fly to colorado. You have to find a hotel. You have to have, since I don't drive, you have to have some sort of driver taxi or something like the amount of costs that it takes to fly to these competitions when there's competition happening around the corner from me is it's asinine the altitude change going from here to colorado is also not.

I traveled a lot every time I go there to visit my friend, shaking her head. Like I had to start over when I moved here like entirely, it's a thing. I don't know how you do it. I didn't even think of that. That's wild. I mean, it's like, I don't know, it's one of those things where it's like you say you want to do something but you don't put any extra effort into it. So why you can say that you're doing it. It's like, I don't know every movie that comes out right where it's like a deaf person pretending that their death, they're not deaf. They're like, well we can find any actors and it's like, well what do you do? Just like post on craigslist ones? Like, what did you actually do? Yeah, I was gonna say, I asked just because when I did my episode, we talk, I'm a cross fitter, right? And I like Martha and mary Beth learned that there's like a whole adaptive division, but they also split it up by what it is. So like upper, upper extremities, lower extremities, I'm in the neuro muscular, I think you would be in my division and I think there was someone in my division who had, you know, and I'm competing against like I have m s I'm competing against people with cerebral palsy, I'm competing against uh there's a lady in my division who had like a brain tumor and you know, they got to take it out, but she is in my division.

And this year for the first year it was really part of the games. Like they brought the top athletes, the uh athletes for most of the divisions. Mostly adapted divisions. I think maybe like there's probably like one or two people who competed who were deaths, deaths. So I don't think they went probably cause they just didn't want to go. But like they competed at the games and they did all the same workouts as all the other people. And I mean I think they did adaptive in the age divisions early because Crossfit also does age division. So like they did the age and adaptive like first day first maybe two days I think. And then the other days were the Rx athletes. Like you know, they brought out the guy who won first place in neuro muscular also had M. S. And like I think one of the top three in the women's division also had M. S. So like they this but like they always did adaptive but I think this was the first year they really brought it into the mainstream and it's stuff like that, but also Crossfit has new ownership.

So I don't know if I'm wrong here, but I feel like um I feel like that still leads into the chris end a conversation because if it wasn't for wheel wad, like doing the work for how long they've been doing it, I don't think you'd be here. And so christened is like I'm not well what essentially right, and they're and they're like well we're not gonna do it, like you were there, that's where it's at, technically, that's what Arnold does. So Arnold is the kind of um is like the world's for adaptive lifters. However, the person who runs it is from Iceland and he heard that I have Ehlers, Danlos didn't hear about anything else that's going on, didn't even hear about the specifics and immediately disqualified me from Arnold. He told me that I E D s is a symptom and so I'm not qualified and then his partner magnus ver Magnusson the world famous strong man said no, no, no that's not what our nurse said, r and r said that it's just it might not be safe for you to lift.

And I was like, oh I've been lifting for three years very publicly. He was like well you just need to show us that you're able to lift and you need to be nicer about this, you can't be demanding and then he went on a rant and I told him to where he could stick it and yeah and then he looked at me and I was like well how am I supposed to show you that I can lift if you're going to block me big strong band, you know, so, but so fragile in these feelings because they, they're very, very prominent in the UK. Um, obviously UK version of the world's strongest disabled man and they bring it over to America so that strongman corporation doesn't have to touch anything like that. So they just let them control it and are like, well that's just their thing. So if they don't believe that you qualify to lift, then you don't qualify to lift. So outsourcing it Rebecca what, what did you have to do to say? I'm in whatever division, like what?

Uh, nothing. They did not have to prove anything. Um, they, it's, it's like you pick your division, um, for whatever they put it in, they kind of have a list of things for each division. Um, but it's not like a comprehensive list. It's not like if you're not like, but like I said, they don't ask anything. I think maybe we'll get to the higher levels possibly. But I mean the open the cross, it's weird. There's this thing called the open which everybody does all over the world every gym. It could be your first day at crossfit and you're going to participate in the open, but then they, you know, they get scores and stuff and then the top people are offered to go to the games. So maybe at games level, you maybe had to prove something. But um, for open level, you just put whatever you want it in. That should be Yeah. I mean, I offered my doctors, I offered my medical file like it shouldn't be the deep, I'm like, where did I get off telling you that you don't advertise your sick enough?

Like why are they putting that expectation too as well? And that that was the advice given to me by fellow lifters as well. One certain fellow lifter said, you know, if you do what I do and play it up and make sure that you wear where all of these braces and stuff to show that you're sick because then they'll know they'll know that you're not faking it. And I'm like, I don't need to do that. And my entire platform has been do not rely on these braces because you have internal braces, relying on these braces can actually cause more harm. I'm not going to play shut up. Yeah, I shouldn't have to. That's not cool. That reminds me of um you know, I'm saying I should invited Marie my bed. Um So we had an episode with Marie from Canada and she said a similar thing, she just wheelchair bodybuilding, but they're used to wheelchair bodybuilding being specifically spinal cord injury. She has m s she can stand, she can walk, but she uses mostly the wheelchair to save her energy smart. Play smarter, not harder, Right?

Um So she'll want to do the poses in a certain way. Like all right, So I'm gonna turn like this bound for the triceps and they'll be like, no, no, no, you can't do it that way. That's not how the disabled people do it. Yeah, the yeah, the wheel wad. When I did what I did wheel wad, I um competed obviously, like neuro muscular and because it was for so many different illnesses, you know, they had to have a standard. So we did um dumbbell snatches and I looked at all the other things and like obviously if you don't have two arms, you can't do alternating dumbbell snatches because you don't have the other arms. Obviously they didn't do it. Um And they just did single arm snatches, but neuro muscular, they had us doing single arm snatch is because, like, some people, you know, you have cerebral palsy, you might not have control over one of your arms as well, but like, I like I have control over, like, they my arms work the same. I don't really have an imbalance or anything like that. And so that that was sort of a weird part of that standard.

Is that like or like the burpees, I can do a Burpee. Maybe not everybody can do a Burpee, but like, I can do a Burpee. And because I like because some people can't like, we had to do like, me burpees, like you're just on your knees, just going flopping up and down on your knees because not everybody that was pretty much on it and so like it's very interesting because like I could do um What can I do? I'm really good at jump roping. Like I'm Good at Jump Roping. I can do 100 unbroken single under. I haven't got a dumbbell under yet. Like I'm pretty good at jump roping. And then for that they made us jump onto like a £10 plate. And like that was our jump roping thing because you know they're still trying to kind of figure out how you what's the middle ground. Yeah. What's the middle ground? I know across fitter who has M. S. And then she was in a car accident and she's paralyzed like where does she compete? You know? Because you can just ask people what? Yeah. I don't know. It should be it. Yeah it should be. That's like the peak problem right?

Like ask the people that are in it like have the people sign up right? And then just fucking ship make a group email, who cares, make a survey. I don't know. It doesn't have to be that deep right? Yeah. It's really weird. Like I would have loved to do alternating snatches doing it with one hand. It's just like super weird. You know I got a whole other hand. That works. Um But like I get why they did it that way. But like it's also so strange neuro muscular can be so many different things. So like you know and that's the weird thing with me is now I have really bad C. R. P. S. Type one in my forearm and I can't have anything touch that for our I I can no longer do a lot of lifts. I can no longer dead lift because it feels like the muscle fibers are being torn off the bone. It's like it's bad and so that's changed how I have to lift and static monsters. So I mean strong man we lift with straps no matter what and I emailed them and I said you know guys um I have this new injury it's not going to go away, it's probably for life now can I use a dead lift strap over my shoulders full strap.

And they're like yeah of course not a question not an ask of why like just a oh you have something going on. Well let's adapt to that, let's figure out there like do you need help on the log what can we do to help you like And I was like this is how it should be run like there was there was no no nothing. It was just an obvious yeah we're going to make room for you, we're going to figure out how to get you in and we're going to make sure that you can because I was there like do we need to buy this and send it to you And I was like no I I keep my own strap now And they're like it was just a given that they would adapt to having me there instead of me trying to figure out how am I going to lift around what they're doing? And I was like, it was so easy at the promoter shout out to big Tommy up in NorCal. Like it was nothing. He was like yeah, no problem. They made sure that I set up in my own station and just left the strap on there and had and had an extra station.

Let me go a little later in the competition so that we didn't have to unload the strap and reload the strap. It was it was so seamless and made it feel like you were not a burden that you were completely welcome to live. And I was like, it made you realize just how ridiculous it is lifting anywhere else? Uh That's pretty trash. Not gonna lie. Um On that note, has anyone else? While joe recently switched from the power lifting to the oly lifting Rebecca's across twitter trivia is power lifting. Bridget is what what what's your choice power lifter? Do you compete? So I've competed once, it was last year and then four days later I ended up with C. R. P. S. So I haven't competed since being diagnosed with C. R. P. S. So that by. Well that was going to be my question was a two part of question here is have you had any energies that are changing the way you think about competing because of the bullshit that person and I just went through start with it, never running second, but it's gonna be too long.

So go ahead, keep going. You already, you already answered it before I asked you just keep it rolling. So I have a peripheral nerve stimulator in my leg right now. And that in itself makes me have to compete in the adaptive division of either the U. S. P. A. Or the U. S. A. P. L. Which isn't a bad thing, but I can still compete like complete all the lifts to comp standards. So I have a little bit of mixed feelings about it because they're not letting me compete against like general population even though I'm capable of it. You don't have the choice. Yeah. I mean at a local meat, I could probably talk to the meet director, but so far that's what I've been told in USPS. So um we've talked about the U. S. A. P. On the podcast millions of times, but if people don't know in general there trash right? Um and then recently they were like, I don't know how to pr guy come in I guess and was like how can we look less trash? And they made like four categories and there's like a mix mx.

I don't say that out loud, gonna be honest. Mx category. Um this adaptive, I think they made like a Paralympic bench or something. I forgot the 4th 1. But essentially if you meet those category things you can only be in that category. So that means you don't get a medal, you don't get to go to world, you don't know what that means for records. I don't know what it means for weight classes. That's the usa pl one. What's the U. S. P. A. One? So you S. K. At least the way it was explained to me because I've never competed with them when I did my competition. It was usa pl they said they have an adaptive category and it covers pretty much every everything. They'll let you use any stuff you need extra, you can have a coach to help you set up, you get extra time setting up for your lifts and it sounded very inclusive but still you're faced with that same problem where if you're like me and you can still complete the lifts to the traditional comp standards, you're not really able to compete against everyone else. Yeah. That's bullshit. Yeah. Anyone else not competing and not what I'm talking about covid but just because of like where your body's at right now and where the federations are at.

I'm not competing for a little bit here now. Yeah, same. But but my supposedly just coping really did not. Not for any, there isn't actually switched back from olympic to power lifting again because I had got Covid and I was out for three or four weeks. I was just like not lifting and it just completely wiped me. And uh I was I had to start over, like I had to completely start over. So I switched back from olympic to power lifting to regain some like base strength bag and then I'm still lifting at home too. So it feels it feels like a better use of my time to do power lifting and being able to actually max out. But trying to max out with olympic weightlifting in my apartment is dangerous. Uh yeah, not a good look, I'm with you on that when it comes to like long breaks going back to doing something like Strongman or olympic weightlifting is a lot harder on me than the static powerlifting.

And I don't know if it's just like positional change, dizziness or the blood pressure or what it is, but yeah, same. That's why I got into power lifting because I could handle it so much better than any other form of activity. So what were you doing before? I was doing like a lot of hit workouts and just random stuff at the gym and I just couldn't keep up. Yeah, no, thank you. I mean, but that's all we know, right? Like you follow every like fit influencer and they're doing jump squats and ship and like not even talking about crossfit, right? I'm not even talking about cross, I'm talking about like the booty one and they look like they're like twerking, you don't do jump squats. I'm not even you jump on the boxes, whatever. I'm not even talking about that. I'm talking about like the stairs thing and then like the stair climber, the leg cakes, like, that's all I knew. Have you seen the one where people are like riding the adductor machine? Like, training for date night? Yes, They're like standing on it and then they're like, yeah, I think a lot about why I'm gonna survive.

Yeah, I mean when you're like, somewhat interested in going in the weight section, that's all you, that's all, you know, until somehow somebody is like, there's more and you're like, oh ship, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. But my reasons for competing, not competing are also code related and also just like community related. So that was the second part of my question is I'm wondering if anybody is not competing more of like, a community reasons and I would say your body can't hang, but like, it doesn't sit right with me that most of the people that are strongman events were sharing conspiracy theories about Covid, right? That we're just saying like, you'll be fine if you're healthy, then it's fine. Like, I'm not, I don't want to see those people. Yeah, I've noticed a lot of the strength gyms are very, very red and um yeah, it definitely better flags. Yeah. And you know, I'm kind of like in the, in the spot where I do not have the health to work out with you if you're not wearing a mask, which is why I'm kind of switching over to adaptive highland right now because it's outdoors and I don't have to worry about you being all up in my face.

Like I, I don't yeah, I am tired of arguing with people for my own rights, so if I can't do it without a strength jim, I'm probably not going to be doing it right now. You excited about Harlan sounds fellow fundo. I think it's gonna be a lot of fun and it's um they seem very inclusive. I've talked to a couple of people, they have a good kind of wheel type of stuff where they do have people actually working in the background promoting, so I'm not going to have to do all that background work myself. So I think that's the next move because right now a strong man is kind of dead in the water, I'm not comparing because honestly, like I'm not convinced that everyone in the meat is going to be vaccinated and everything just given how the community is, but also my body is just just the favorite now, so I'm kind of starting a functional phase and like foundation building, I guess where I'm at right now, but yeah, like I tell people, oh yeah, they are loved and they're like, oh like they know they know already and I'm like I I'm a vaccinated power lifter guys, it's okay, it's okay.

That's I was gonna say it's I just feel so burned by the, I worked at two different gyms before Covid and like I had such a huge community at both of them in the way that the gym community has treated Covid and you know the whole the same thing with like I'm strong, therefore I am healthy. Um I know that I want to, I'm fully vaccinated and to have like gotten Covid like I feel but like I will be okay but at this point it's just kind of like voting with my dollar, like I want to I want to get a massage recently. And uh I walked in, I was wearing a mask and the counter lady like wasn't wearing a mask. So I asked her if she was vaccinated and she said no and I was like so you and I just like turned turned around and left and I left him uh a bad review. And uh the owner of the place like side and called me, it was like how do I fix this?

And I was like you guys aren't vaccinated nor are you wearing masks? And the lady is like oh she's just like she's a counter girl and she's not vaccinated because she has health problems and I freaked out at this lady and I was like I have health problems and she was like yeah, I don't think this is gonna be a good fit for either of us. And I was like, yeah you're right, so long story short, it's just I don't feel that there are any gyms around me that I feel good about giving my money to at this time, so I'm staying home and I'm fine doing that. Yeah, I also trained at home. Yeah, I go I now go to a big box gyms because it's one of those, they were forced to comply and it's like at least they're forced to comply. A lot of the big box gyms have started getting olympic stations anyway, so well, I mean I'm gonna go visit one of the, there's a really good, really good strength gym right down the street and like they have like a ba jillion of the like California's strongest, world's strongest, Gwanda Arnold's strong men people, so I'm like, oh that'd be a great fit.

But it took them two weeks to message me back for what? And I'm like that's usually not good. Like you see somebody saying, hey, I would love to come visit your gym, I'm thinking about lifting their like, you see my profile and then you see my profile and you're like, I'll take some time to message her back, that's never that's never a good feeling because you want potential customers in your gym and you take a look at my profile and then you put me on hold, That's not a good sign. But it's kind of one of those things where I go to a gym and I walk around and I look and see what, what are you actually saying and do when I lift? I say that I come from your gym. Do I want to represent your gym? Because in NorCal like Visa, the bay and strength strength club and everything like amazing guys. The best guys I've ever met, completely inclusive.

Very open, very, very strict about Covid, like hands down the best experience and now that I know what it's gonna be like, I'm not going to settle for anything else. I, I see how easy it was for Tommy to include me. Make sure it's safe for literally everybody. Take care of every single member that he has start lifting in a parking lot instead of inside of a gym because Covid is happening. Nobody is not allowed to wear their masks, everybody's sanitizing. And I'm like, I'm not settling for anything less because it literally cost him nothing. It took no time out of his day. And I see, yeah, all he did was care. And I was like, why would you settle for anything less when you see that it can be done? And he's turning a profit just fine. And he's taking care of his community. Yeah, that's amazing. And you know what? I know nothing about his politics. It had nothing to do with politics. Like for all I know he could be the worst human.

He could be a Nazi. He's not, I know for a fact that's not what I'm saying for all I know he could be, he left that out of it. This is just about taking care of his community. Yeah. Yeah. I emailed somebody and I asked them, you know, like what their covid protocol was and told this lady in my situation and what she's doing as a private business owner to make sure everyone is able to look at her gym. And first it took me a couple of weeks to hear back from her. Um, and then eventually she was like, well there's really nothing I can do. My hands are tied unless you know, colorado comes with like a new guideline for blah blah, whatever. And it's just like, uh, you're the owner. And it's also like all you have to do is help people or mass or like even like have some sort of signage about vaccines or just like make some sort of effort to pretend that you care something.

But to just bare minimum just, it's my hands are tied by whom ma'am by home. You can do whatever you want. But that's one of the things I noticed about moving so NorCal very blue, very liberal. And now I'm in Orange county and we're like the little pocket on the beach of not, not like the rest of California and it's, it's very like there's no mask mandate. So when we wear the mask at the gym, we get those kind of side eyes and it's like the difference in, yeah, we're, I'm two miles from the beach, so it's awesome. But you miss out on doing a lot of things because four Saudis a home my feet and a couple years ago before, before the pandemic really got bad, um, which is like a team retreat there and Like 99% of my team and I look around girls.

So a bunch of bound girls walk into this gym in Orange County and like everyone's there is just like, what are you doing here? Why are you here? And we're also lifting? And this guy who says, oh, I thought I was getting a bunch of a bunch of brown cheerleaders and it's like, no sir, that is not what's happening please so gladly tightly someone said that I was like, please kindly go funk yourself. This is ridiculous. Oh my God. Okay, so I just moved here. I moved here literally a month ago and there's been times where you walk around in places that, I mean, I'm kind of ethnically ambiguous sometimes when you look at me, but there's definitely a, what are you feeling? That I get a lot of times from around these parts. Yeah, yeah. And, and now like I'm much more brown and I, yeah, So a lot of the gyms, we've been going to, we've been going around trying different 24 hour fitness because we have a year long membership there and we'll be lifting and just the looks the kind of side eye or one white lady just gave like bumped into me while walking through the aisle to get to the machine next me to live.

Oh my God, we call that jim forms because it was, it was nothing but ego lifting. But I'm like, I thought maybe I, I couldn't quite put my finger on what was happening anytime I'm whipping. I'm getting stared at any anything I'm doing. That's what it is. It's racism. And it was a lot of times. I'm like, there's no way there's no, wait, no, I can't do. It must be sometimes you need like a person that's like right? Like, like travelers with the girls like with the homies, like they look at each other and be like, whereas like I lived with, you don't have like you don't have like a check. Like you can't be like, is it yeah, I'm with you. It gets, it gets really confusing. I always assume it's, what is she doing with him? I never go straight to race, but around here it feels like that happens a little more than not. Like it's like, what is going on here?

Who knows? Well, and and quite frankly why I'm like, I'm like the white mexican not like the brown mexican. I have pretty pale skin and I have lupus. So I'm allergic to the sun. So I'm pretty pale and it's like I'm still browner than most around here. So it's like, what's going on? Like you always had a question in the back of your mind, like, yeah, you need a check. You need somebody, you can just text real quick to just be like, is this racism or is it me? That's what you need? Like just like chicken. Like I started keeping like the disposable toothbrush because I always think like maybe it's something going on in my face, like maybe maybe I got something going on. Oh my God. I feel like I think you're forgetting the is racism vibes. It's probably racist. It's probably racist. This is also true for so many years. I didn't have that or I mean I hear in a different area. Not to this extent.

Yeah, you're in a totally different area. Um uh, go ahead. I was just telling my friend about how, you know, I, wait, I was born, uh, not in the bait, but I was raised in the area and it's quite diverse here. Um, but In 2019 when I graduated from grad school and uh, my family went out to Indiana and we stopped by Purdue on the way because that's my brother is going so on the way from West Lafayette to Notre dame. We stopped at some like random as walmart for a bathroom break and some snacks and obviously we're like probably the only brown people in this county at this point. It's a very, very, very small town. Um And my brother and dad both have darker skin to make their big dudes and mom has lighter skin, but she does look quite either. Um And this little girl in the produce section, she looks at my family and I asked her mom who she's with, she's like mom and she says loudly too because kids are not subtle. Mom, what did they do to make God so angry?

Why did he make them so dark? And the mom and like my whole family heard this. We were like five ft away and I'm getting heated. My parents are like calm. Okay. Do not pick a fight in a wal mart here. Like now is not the time we're just going to go. But the mom just said she just said, I don't know honey and they walked away. Yeah. Didn't bother telling her child. Like maybe that wholesome ground family did not. In fact spite God. I don't know. What did you do? Oh no. Did you? Oh my God. That's um that's a lot like culture shock, but that kind that's a lot. Yeah, traveling is, I mean there's a reason why why um black people created their own like tourism books. So you know where to stop and where to keep going. Like this is definitely kind of racist in other ways. I think it's more like the Karen types here though. The low key racism.

Yeah. Case like the one in 9 11, you're gonna bomb the fruit area like a banana. Yeah. So, so I like it's pretty diverse out here where I live and there's an indian reservation so everybody knows us and we all look very different. I feel like a mid range on skin tone kind of for visual. I am brown. I look black, you know, like brown skin and you know, so you know, just general sort of racism. That kind of I'm used to. But um, my step dad is this white dude from Nebraska from a small town of Nebraska. Like when I'm little tiny towns And we went a couple times to visit. I feel like we're never gonna go back. He's older and his parents are now dead and he's probably like, I'm never going back there. I hate that place. But you know, I went a couple times when I was like 10 or something like that and those people in that town definitely had never seen a black person in real life before. And then it was just like me and my mom and they're one tiny little grocery store and I mean no one said anything to us I think because like we were also, it was a small town Even though Skip had been gone for 20 years, they still knew who he was because there's not a lot of people there.

Um and so we were obviously with them and they're a nice town, it's just they don't know any black people. So like we were in a grocery store really getting looks and then it was they also had a community pool. So I guess maybe this was like racism but like they had a community pool, their public pool and I don't remember it probably because I was so young. But I think everybody got out when I got in which was like cool when you're like seven because then you get the whole pool by yourself and then like I don't know like I feel like 10 minutes everybody is like whatever just get back in the pool. Like it wasn't like it was it's a weird small town but like I think also it's a they're really in the cattle farming there. So like I know now they have a lot more like Latinos living in that area because of the farm work and stuff like that. So I think that you know they probably still, if I went back they'd be likewise black person here but like they're not like, oh my God, a not white person like I think they're probably at that level but it was like super weird and we did this big long road trip and we were, you know we went to Kansas, we went to Kentucky, my mom had a friend who lived in Kentucky and we were like in the boonies of Kentucky, like in the mountains and she was just dark skin, black lady from like flint michigan and she lived in the mountains somewhere in Kentucky and I think she said she was the only black person in town, but she was also like a masseuse and everybody loved her, you know?

So it wasn't like that, it was more like when we rolled into town it was like, oh there's more black people, those case friends. Um It was just like some really small town that had one black person and they all knew she was. Um But yeah, like be it going places where like you're just like not used to it, especially like I said, I grew up out here, it's just, you know, it wasn't, oh you guys are indian knows that like we're specific kinds of indian and they knew who we were into our family and like maybe that's why they're racist, like not broad. Oh I hate not white people is just like, I know some of your cousins and they beat me up one time, so I'm going to be racist. Yeah, it's a little different when you leave, like your little uh thing. I'm curious though for jo jo is the only one that has like super visible tattoos and piercings, like what's what do you get I get? Um mostly people avoiding me which is great um and then the other, it was like, the only time somebody has ever really said anything to me was I was walking my dog and this lady comes up to me, we were like walking by each other and she was just like, that's a lot of tattoos.

Are you my mom? Are you my mom? Like who are you? I don't know, It's fine. It's not a real, I'm not impressed. It's gonna say your new, can you work on your hand? Looks really good. Oh, thank you. Yeah, that flame, Thanks. Yeah, I know. I don't think like people that mm hmm. There are people out there that think being heavily tattooed like is some a form of oppression or something. But like, I pay a lot of money to look like this. So it's not at all the same. It's different now. So if anyone says anything I like, it doesn't, of course, you know, they're going to say something, it doesn't bother me. Yeah, now that makes sense. Um so moving on from that topic, let's catch up with, I think joe because joe was like totally different vibe from their episode. Because you had in your episode of Saga, you were working somewhere in a lab.

What was that job called? The title of that a research assistant? Alright, You were research assistant going to school, working it up. Super academia. And you were like, you know what? No, I'm going to be a weightlifting coach now. You worked at a coffee shop and then the pandemic started, so what the fuss are you doing right now? So I was looking at my calendar earlier today, like, looking back on my ship. And uh I when I was the last time I was on here, I just got accepted to Flatiron school to learn how to code. And then I started doing that in March And I graduated, it was like 15 weeks and I um yeah, yeah, I graduated from that and now I work as a front end developer for um uh she's my brain um uh this place that does like events for like Coachella and like, it's very like, it's just such a good fit and I'm really happy there and I like, have a good health care.

And um I started working there and like immediately got Covid and they're just like, take all the time you need, like it's fine. Like we have unlimited PTO like actually use it. Like it's a really like have like a desk now. The last time I was on the show, it was just, I think I was like in my bed that I have on the floor. Um But I'm like, yeah, 20, uh was I'll just so much happened and I'm just like, I'm just so happy with where I'm at. And I I didn't like, I it's crazy. I just didn't think I was going to be here and uh doing what I'm doing and I just am really happy and then, and then a power lifting instead of weightlifting is, it's nice. I've missed dead lift and bench press a lot. Oh yeah. And I'm not giving that up. That's pretty nuts. A lot of, I think we'll know travel your, your body situation is new to you or not new.

I don't remember. It's not new. I think it's just like, I don't want to say my age catching up with me, but also like, it kind of feels like as I'm getting older, the flares get worse. I think it's life adult. Yeah, I like that. So, um, yeah, no, I don't think that's the same thing back going back to basics, going back to like, foundational strength and functional fitness and like, honestly, I think it's cool. I'm wearing a lot. Um it's interesting to see what is like a still weak on my body where the weak links are and what power lifting for three years, like I only power looked at for three years. So what, that changed from the last time I tried this style of training because I haven't trained like this since college, which is interesting. Yeah, it's always nice to switch it up. I mean, I'm asking a lot of somehow we got to talking to people on this podcast that like literally just brand new, like, oh yeah, I just found that like three months ago, I have m s surprise.

Um, so that was Rebecca and joe and now bridge, it's like I was powerlifting and then I got, well I wasn't so it's like pretty random that we just find people in this timing of like what the fund is going on with my life, so that's what I wanted to find out, joe was settled. Rebecca is like settled somewhat alright now, Chavez got new ship for me, it seems like, so I think I've like kind of been living in this, you know, mental state of like, I have so many people telling me like, oh you can't be that sick, you look fine. So I feel like on some level, believe it or not actually very sick, and this is kind of just A lot of me treating my body like garbage for the majority of 20s passion with me at this point. Um and honestly I'm not even mad about it because like I said, it's kind of like a project, I get to work on it like a puzzle and it's frustrating, but wait, I think the hardest part for me was like having to give up the barbells are a little bit.

Um but then I realized the only reason I was feeling a way about it is because this community is so gung ho about like, oh bar bell only no machines, no card, you blah blah blah, you use a leg, press like what are you doing with your life? You should be applauding, but like Spotting takes so much out of me and I would show up to my training sessions with my bar bell. Like I would show up and barely be able to squat a plate and it would just take so much out of me for the next week. I could, I was like making maybe two sessions a week at that point and I had a conversation with my coach and she was like, well, you know, it kind of just sounds like when you take a step back for a bit and that's okay, like it's fine. I'm shout out to the coach. Yeah, I mean it's amazing. Um I think anyone who is struggling with a chronicle carnival illness, chronicles chronicles of illness. So a year ago, anyone is struggling with that too, definitely hit her up because she's real good thing.

Um So Bridget, your thing is totally new. And it's been, wait actually stop. Sorry, Rebecca, you were gonna say something about being settled in your body or not being settled. So like a month ago I hurt myself doing, it's so funny. People are always like, oh my God, crossfit, so dangerous. But it's really like, it's ranked pretty low on like actual injuries. Um Like you get way more hurt, like running, like you're more likely to get hurt running than you are to do when you do crossfit and I hurt myself doing a box step ups, uh like messed up my back, mess up my back. It's been like a month now I have sciatica, like, it's a whole thing, but because I have been working out for like the past month, it's been like four weeks. Um I never really stopped working out when I got M. S. I had only been working out, I don't even doing crossfit for a year and a half before my symptoms started and I most likely had symptoms before that.

It was, you know, and this was just how I lived and I didn't know. And then um, you know, I, my body fell apart. I had my initial flare up. I took maybe two months off and then I was not going across it anymore, but I like, you know, went to exercise class and then like the next month I was going to like just a regular old gym, working on trying to figure out how to use the elliptical, um you know, and and stuff like that. And then, so it's been, it's been about a month. And it's interesting because, like I said, I never really stopped working out. I was always kind of active despite everything and my symptoms are really low, like, I'm in A. M. S. Chat and some of the people, their symptoms are so so bad and I don't really have a lot of those symptoms, but then I didn't work out for like a month. And then it was like, oh my God, my hips are so tight, I can't move. I think this is passivity. Like, and, and like, I have a pain in my leg and I have it all the time and it has been so much worse than the last month because I wasn't doing anything at all. And it's like, so interesting how much, like, just being an active has pushed me back.

But then, like, last week I worked out three days in a row and they were really short workouts, like, right before I got hurt, I would, I had up to my training um and I was working out for like an hour, which I'm sure is like, not a lot of time for the rest of you guys. Like a rough, so like, you might do some accessory work for like 2030 minutes and then a 10 minute workout. That's really all you need after that. Like, I had started really working on doing that every time. Like do an accessory, do a workout. And then I got hurt. And my training program, I work out from home, I do this training program is really cheap trading program and they write the workout for whatever equipment you have. If it's like, if you only have dumbbells, if you have a bar bell, if you are really good at crossfit could do a muscle up here is the same workout a little bit written different, but they also have a version for like, if you're new to working out if you're injured, like, things like that, so the normal workout might have a barbell snatch.

But then that other version they do, if you're new to it, it's like alternating hang snatches with a bar with a dumb bell, you know, because it's still the same movement, But doing that with one arm from the hang position is way different than with a barbell from the floor. So I've been doing, I I did that last week, I work out three times and I still felt really bad last week and then I worked out three times and these like 10 minutes really slow, steady, like I'm not pushing myself, not trying to sweat, I just want to move and they weren't even that good. Like I don't have the range of motion right now because of my back to like do a kettle bell, dead lift, I just can't pick it up from the ground. So I had to have like a little stepper thing and I had it on the stepper and I'm still moving really slow and like I feel so much better than I did last week because I had like three days of working really slow, but kind of just like working on the motions, but like I also, in this last month I completely lost my squat, like I cannot get down there previously, even before I started ever working out, I could get almost my whole hand to the floor from like standing up straight, just like reached down with my leg straight, I can touch my knees right now, that's as far as I can get and like I couldn't touch my knees like two weeks ago and and it's so like, I'm at a weird point right now where like I'm just learning to move again and it's all just because like I wasn't standing up straight while doing a box step ups with a sandbag on my back doesn't take much, yep and I'm just back back to begin like who knows what I'm going to touch a barbell again.

Yeah, I'm in the same phase though because I had, I had like, I had one vein laser and then I had to like chill and then two weeks later I had the other one lady had the chill again, so, and at the time I couldn't even tolerate doing something standing up, so I was just doing like laying down cars and like bands laying down for a month. So now I'm like, I wasn't even shoes on now, I'm like not even used to putting on shoes, like I put on shoes and my nerve fan is like bitch shoes, what is this? Um so yeah, same vibes, but I think like the old power lifter me, like that's where also having coaching, like that support of like, am I tripping has helped my coaches Gabs strength though, but like I was there to like, well if my workout is not and I were in 30 minutes and I don't do like this level of weight then it's not a real well, you know like I was on that bullshit but then I was like you know what bucket like if I go in there and all I do is box squads, like that's fine.

I'm also I'm really learning how to walk, which is interesting. I noticed through this whole new phase that I've actually been walking wrong for at least since I hit puberty. Um And it's interesting because my my glutes are significantly weaker than the rest of my lower body, which I've always wondered like why. That's very interesting. But um part of my like new access protocol is to get more steps because my body likes it and we're just trying to do my body likes and I realized like, oh I don't use my glutes and my hamstrings when I walk because when I started developing hips in middle school, I started like compensating and kind of shuffling to look less curvy. Um So I I just have been walking with only half the muscles used to walk this entire time and now I actually use my posterior chain and it's it's what a difference guy as well, I wish someone told me this like 10 years ago.

Yeah and you've had a C. L. Issues to write and still nobody was like what is you doing? I know, I just I just thought I walked slow, I just thought I'd take tiny tiny steps, but it turns out I don't have to and I also think that's why picking up skating has been so hard for me because I never shifted my weight fully onto the leg. That's like going forward. Yeah, thanks. I kind of say it in the middle so I wouldn't my hips wouldn't swing because I don't want them to. Um But yeah, it's a it's been a world of difference guys, I've been learning a lot. I'm kind of there like right behind you, like, so I have severe pigeon toe, but it's gotten so bad that now my bones are starting to twist and turn. And so when we moved we found this beautiful apartment, it's got huge vaulted ceilings. But the way to get the huge vaulted ceiling apartment is we're on the second floor And it is like they are little small 20 steps. The end, I mean it is so I realized I can't go down steps because my toes are so pigeon toed and the joints are so twisted now that I actually have to go down sideways or go down backwards because I cannot go straight down steps because it's just it's going to blow out a knee because of how bad I've been walking for all of my life.

Uh And it's that realization that I'm so afraid of popping out a joint that I no longer even bend my knees when I walk, I no longer use my ankles. Like, I'm just kinda like, I walk like a barbie don't use any joints, I'm just kind of like, hopping along and I'm like, oh my God, I'm missing out. And it's funny that you said that you don't use your glutes, I use nothing but glutes now because it's just the glute pushing me along instead of using anything else, and I'm like, oh my God, what am I doing with that realization happened? Like, I think it was last week of going down the stairs going no wonder, I feel like I'm blowing out a knee. I'm literally stepping on the stairs sideways, but I'm moving forward. I feel like the best way to describe the way I was walking up till now, I was kind of like Palin Yeah, well you're waddling.

Yeah. Yeah, like my leg was saying was like, my legs are staying straight, it was Like literally one ft in front of the other, like that. Yeah. Get your life. And I think part of that also is like, so I have gained like £40 over Covid and that feeling of your legs chafing as you're walking and trying to get your legs in front of each other, but with a wide stance, but also keep your hips tight, so you don't subluxation hip and moving your foot and it's just, it's it's so much easier to waddle but I need to stop. Yeah don't do that. Don't do that Bridget has your walking cause you got a leg thing. Yeah so I could not move my foot till probably mid december. I had surgery in november and I kind of had to relearn how to walk after that still really struggle with it just because it's very painful to walk with C.

R. P. S. But my leg is so tight like I have to swing it out to get the gate right because my foot won't like come up. So it's been very challenging. I've been using forearm crutches when I go out and have to be out all day and that's been helpful but it's definitely an adjustment. Do you have any braces for your foot? Your ankle? No I just I don't know that I could tolerate a brace on it. It's still super some feeling like even were in socks and sweat pants is a lot. Yeah you kinda need to wear socks with braces. So I think that our work and I don't understand about the C. R. P. S. Is it hurts. Yeah this nerve numbing cream, do anything like or is that just kind of topical. Um It hasn't helped me part of I actually have nerve damage so I can't feel my shin or the top of my foot but for some reason my brain still says they hurt. Um So I tried nerve medicine on it and I can't even feel it.

It doesn't it's still just as pain up in here. Like, do you? So when you say never medicine, you mean like, oral pills or topical stuff? I was talking about like topical stuff. It was it wasn't anything prescription. It was like sunburn stuff with lidocaine in it. I just figured maybe that would help. But I couldn't even feel it on my skin so it did nothing. Somebody once kept spacing for nerve pain. And I tried kept saying I have I have I have the different at the gels, I have lidocaine. We've tried Lyrica. Like, it's just a lyric is my favorite. Oh, I hear it helps with my teaching. I have never empathic itching. My body tells me I'm itching when I should use. That's what I use. gabapentin for Lyrica may be swell Up like a sausage. That was the opposite gabapentin didn't do ship. And they were just like, hoping it like, all right, just take another pill. All right, just take another pill. All right, just take another pill. And I'm like, all right guys, 1200 mg guys, come on.

That was the lyric. We started swelling so bad. I couldn't get my rings on, but I wasn't getting any relief. And it was like, what's the point? Yeah, but I feel like they're willing to throw like every single met at it. But it's it's one of those weird things that like, it's so hard to describe to doctors when you have nerve pain. That's just it's so out of sync with what your body should be feeling. I've been lucky to have like, just accidentally ended up with doctors who are pretty experienced with therapists, but then sometimes end up in like urgent care and they have no idea, and I can tell they're just freaked out and they don't necessarily understand what's happening, and then they don't treat it right, and it's just a nightmare figuring out what it was. Was definitely because I was like, is this just something like what? What is like there's no rhyme or reason and like the path of the crp s is in my forearm at least is like, it literally makes no sense.

Like I can still wear my watch because it just randomly stops. It does not, there's no rhyme or reason for it, and there's no there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to even put a shirt on. And like, the doctor was like, well we could try and do like, Dry Needling and stuff, but I can't even touch that area, so how are we supposed to get the needles into their like, it's just one of those baffling. Even watching the doctors get baffled is really frightening and frustrating for my nerve stimulator placements I had, I think it was three. but it was awful because they would like tape the sheet thing to my leg and then they would be moving it around and pulling stuff off and then obviously they're sticking a giant needle deep in my leg which hurts all the time. And it was just and you're awake the whole time which is great too. So you get to experience all the people. What is what are they trying to do? They're trying to work on your muscles shrink because usually you have like there's like two things you have nerve pain and crp.

S but also you actually don't have like control your muscles. Yeah so I have a little bit of I don't know if that's from the nerve damage from the crp s. But my foot will like kind of twitch and it's definitely weaker than my other leg. So the nerve stimulator doesn't do anything for that. It's mostly just to kind of scramble the signals coming from my leg to my brain to stop some of the pain. Okay yeah it's a pain it actually helps a little bit. Yeah. Oh yeah it was not fun getting put in. Yeah. No that's a bullshit. My vein thing is like um it was like a cane and whatever mixture and it's just like needle six and it was like six of them just like on my inner thigh. Just look look look look look there like all right, couple pinches and I'm like hold on four or five bits you said a couple what's going on right now? The shoes. Oh, it was not good. It's not a vibe. No thanks. No thanks.

Um, is there? Let's see. Let's see. Rebecca, we didn't talk that long ago. So you just told us about your new injury. Great work on that way to go mess that up all on your own. Can't blame anyone else. All right. It was pretty sweet. Um, I was gonna say, I actually, yeah, what do you think I was gonna say my last injury is also because of the box step ups. Maybe, maybe I'll just never do it again. Just the worst. It's like the dumbest later. Like no equipped. I mean, I did have equipment. I had a sandbag on my back, but like just, it was really stupid. Um, literally when I was sucking, fell over, fell nice. Yeah, I was the first day in my new gym at the time too, and I was like, no, I don't fall anymore. Thank the Lord. But yeah, that wouldn't be me. That would be me too. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's funny. You just said like we didn't talk that long ago, but I think when we talk, like I had two jobs, like all this, my mom's about to walk in the house.

Um, Hello? Hi mom, mom. It's um, come here, come down. You can see the screen and you can't say, who would not say hi. I'm really? Oh, is a real girl to lift. I'm not Rebecca, I'm Rebecca's mom, bye bye wow. Rebecca calling y'all, Somebody look into that. Yeah. So, uh, I don't know the last time we talked, I was working two jobs like, okay, so you just got your shred shed? You had two jobs. Yeah. These guys are mentioned. I had two jobs. I was trying so hard for a year to like figure out how to quit one of my jobs. And then, um, there was a day that I had written a resignation letter for my support job and then I never sent it in, but I had a date on it, like this will be my last day and then I didn't send it and then, um, I, for whatever reason I was terminated the day like that day, that would have been on my two week notice.

You believe in witchcraft. Yeah, it was great. I was like, I was like, oh, this is gonna be my last day anyway. I'm so glad you decided to do this. But you know, like, uh, I only, I only have one job now and it's pretty sweet. Um, I'm the director of communications for my tribe and a lot of it is sending out emails, but it's also just making sure the community members know about stuff. Um, I was on a, I was on a, I guess I'm on like a committee right now to do some stuff and I was just posting it on instagram and someone was like, oh really? Because I didn't know and I was like grass and all that email like five times it was in. Yeah, I sent that out every friday for months. I set it out in the big email I sent out a couple times on its own. But like, you know, if you really want to say this that you're interested, I will make sure you know specifically every time about this thing, um, people and yeah, a lot of my, they can pick herself look strong.

Good. Oh yeah, I'm working on my photos. Um, right now it kind of worked out. I had started it, but then I got hurt so I had a lot more time to kind of work on it, having like an indigenous food kind of project. One of the things is my dad is, I'm supposed to write a newsletter. Everybody always wants recipe is Chicago. People do not want to give their recipes like no one will, no one will give me a recipe for like anything because it's a secret, you know, so, and then our recipes are kind of like where I am on the east coast. I live in new york. There's, there's not as many indigenous people over here because we never moved. You know, we were never part of the trail of tears. We never went anywhere. And so it's built up where we are. So there's just like not as many of us. So right now I'm kind of doing this like food project this week. I'm going to make a venison and pinatas. Um, so that'll be fun. And so yeah, I'm like working on my photography because like if if I can't get recipes from anybody, I gotta make my own recipes and then I want the pictures to actually be nice.

So like my job made me buy a camera and now I'm learning how to, you're getting paid to learn. Yeah. And I'm like mom lawsuit because that support job, like it was 9 to 5. I always had to sign in. I was like do stuff now. It's like I am the director of communications and there's no one else in my department. Yeah, myself. There's certain things that they need me to do and then it's like you figure out the rest of what you want to do and so what I want to do is this like sort of food project where you know, using using these things are making me do to figure out some other stuff. But that's where I'm at right now and not working out. But I'm gonna start, I'm starting again. Like now that I felt better after doing that a couple times last week. I think I'm, I'm gonna try to get back into it. How do you slow and steady? You're good. You're good. Alright. So shrub Yeah. Where you at? I think we checked in. We got snow Bridget. We checked in with everyone else before we take a break or close this episode for the real life people where you at?

Um I've got a new cat. Okay. All right. So I got a kitten in june. His name is to lose real cute real loud. I'm surprised he hasn't been screaming this entire time. He usually gets really uh needy. What? I'm not giving him attention. But he and my adult cats are like best friends now. They're all of my instagram. I have like, look just at this point, um I figured out I have a PhD So that's that's been a fun, right? Um The psychiatrist specifically said, wow, it's pretty severe and surprised you made it this far. So, I thought that going for me, my life kind of turned around after that. I actually can like chain activities together now. Which is nuts. Um And uh I've been good. Honestly, I feel like a lot of my, you know, imposter syndrome, anxiety, whatever kind of rooted to my inability to get done in a timely manner.

And I'm good. Like I got a raise in everything. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Body. Body as finicky as per huge. Like my mind is good for the first time in a while and I'm happy. Okay. So I'm not hearing that great job. Great job. Everybody. All right. But we don't have the saga Bridget. But from I'm sorry. I keep saying Bridget because it just looks the spelling looks french and I just keep doing it. It is french. I just go by Bridget. But Bridget is the you don't do that here. What is your name? We don't do that here. What's the correct Bridget? But it's spelled Brigitte. Okay. But what does your mother call you? She calls me Bridget. Okay. But my dad is from France and he, this was the compromise. Oh my Lord. Okay. You've got a whole thing going on that. We don't have time for that. Never mind. Never mind the mind the mind. Alright. Uh Never mind. All right. Well, we don't have the saga of Bridget, but at least from your injury to today, are we on the same bug so far? Everybody's here on a period of growth whether or not they're working out very well.

We're talking about that. That's fine. We lift that's like up and down the other part. How are you? So, I'm in grad school right now. It's my first semester and it has been an interesting experience. So I'm gonna biochemistry program and um obviously that means like a lot of time in labs and labs just are not built to accommodate people who are on crutches or in a wheelchair or need to sit. And it's been very challenging in that sense. And I'm not sure if I like it enough to like stick with it and try to power through and figure out how I'm gonna do it. So that's where I'm at now. I also have pots, which I've been dealing with since like middle school. So I was used to kind of navigating chemistry lab, needing to sit before that, but I could still move around fairly easily and now it's kind of like double can't get through.

I'm on crutches, so it's not like I can carry stuff and move between equipment. It's just been a lot. That does sound like a lot. Is anyone even like this? Does anyone care or they're just letting you struggle. So people have been really nice, but I think I'm like the first person they've ever had in the program who's got some sort of disability. They told me they had one guy on crutches, but I'm pretty sure he had just like injured his foot for a couple of weeks there like he was fine and it's just not the same. No. So they're trying. But I mean when the whole building is just inaccessible. Yeah, There's not all that much they can do. Uh huh. So, I don't know what I'll do. All right. Well, you figure it out. Everybody here so far is doing it all right. We go through a lot of changes. Um, definitely nothing is linear, definitely. Everything is made up anyway. So don't let anybody make you feel bad about anything. You're going through. Everything is fake.

That's like step one. But I think you'll figure it out eventually. Yeah. Yes. All right. So Rebecca's mom is like a vibe in the background. If y'all are watching us on Youtube, then you could see her. First of all, she opened the door and said, who is that? Mhm. I know you're gonna bust my we should have any like, I was like, I was in this meeting earlier today and then I needed to go to the grocery store and I was like trying to figure out what town I should go to because like, I wanted to go do a bunch of errands and I was like, you gotta be back. I have to do a podcast. Like you're doing a podcast with like my friends, like anytime you're friends with. Yeah. So I was like, I got like, I don't, I got friends. Um I guess that's what friends who I'm like Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's like, you don't know that club. Yeah. But so that's the thing like before the pandemic, I was living in, I had an apartment in queens in the city, like new york city and like that I moved home and it's just been like a whole thing like since I've been home, I think I was only gone for like two years.

But like it's been a thing since I've been home. And like, it's funny, I was in a said, I was like on a committee and one of the things we're talking about was like housing on the on the reservation, what should we do? And I told this great story about how like I don't want to live at home, I don't want to live with my mom, you can all say that to her and then she'll kick me out. And then one of you people have to let me live in my heart in your house because like we don't have apartments here or anything. So and like I came back and told her that she doesn't want to get kicked out and I was like no because I don't have a place, no one said I could live there. Um And then I plan sales then today was the second day of the meeting and like before it started someone was like so what you said yesterday about one of your own space, do you want to dog sit for me sometime because like then you can just stay in my house by yourself for like a week. And I was like yeah. Yeah for sure. I know that lady, that lady has a saltwater pool in her yard, okay watching your dog's gonna come dog sit with. I can not have to feel like she's hilarious but like okay that's a lot. That's uh this big mom manager out there.

I got that. Um Yeah I I left out so like our apartment complex has like three pools and all this stuff like that. Normally people would be all about coming to visit but because we're up that full flight of stairs and it's not an easy flight of stairs, nobody wants to come visit. So it's like my own space that nobody comes to see you at and it's kind of on one level, it's good. But of course it still gets lonely. So thank God for you guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank goodness. I'm glad everyone could make it. I really am. I love to see you, love to talk to you offline and then this face to face. Um I think for this episode maybe we'll take a break, maybe talk some more and a little bit, but I'm sure our bladders probably needed a second um thumbs up if you agree thumbs up. Great, great, great for the recording. Disabled girls out. See you on the next one. Thanks for listening to disabled girls who left. We appreciate all of your support and everyone who's taken the time to show us some love.

Don't forget to subscribe rate or ready review of our channel. We're on apple podcasts, Spotify player, FM, google podcasts and more. You can also find us on instagram at disabled girls who left. Wow, II

E56: Panel of Spoons Reunion!
E56: Panel of Spoons Reunion!
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